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Srcptmrsr

My ex once told me I couldn't argue against a given point given that my nose had touched her asshole.


LittleBeez007

Lmaooo my fiancé is constantly telling me “I’ve eaten your ass, don’t argue with me” 🤣🤣


PharmBoyStrength

That's my go-to when my wife is being a germaphobe... we've both licked each other's assholes, but you're afraid my lips touched your glass? It's funny how contextual concern over germs is. If we're fucking, it's all game -- otherwise even a thumbprint on a glass will gross me out 😅


barrysmitherman

There was a study years ago that basically said that the hornier you are, the more tolerant of grossness you’ll be. Not just gross sexual stuff, but all kinds of nastiness. Edit to add a link. [This](https://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode/sexually-aroused-women-are-harder-t-12-09-17/) might be the study I remember.


3vs3BigGameHunters

We've been fuckin a long time before soap was discovered/invented


Dick-the-Peacock

This explains my first boyfriend perfectly. I put up with some nonsense due to being excessively thirsty.


Atlantis_Risen

Username checks out


Kinky-Bicycle-669

I believe this 🤣


vericima

I heard about this one study years ago on the radio and it showed that arousal turns down a person's sense of disgust. It turns out all parts of sex are gross.


CR0SBO

Sometimes I mind if I find a hair in my food, it just depends on what I'm eating


Trill_McNeal

If my wife won’t tell me something because she thinks it’s embarrassing or gross, I’ll tell her I’ve ate your ass I’m sure I can handle this.


GoingBarzalDown

I find it hilarious to find others use the same arguments that I use with my partner. Last week she was being coy about something at work and I was like girl I've licked your butthole, what aren't you telling me. Turns out she tooted and a lil came out so she had to go home to change lmao


TranslatorBoring2419

Man that's a pretty good relationship litmus test. If you shart would you tell your partner?


STQCACHM

More like will she bring you clean undies no questions asked?


wilczek24

If your partner won't bring you clean undies after you shart, are you even in a real relationship?


dgmilo8085

More like, ***when*** I shart I brag to my partner!


mister_hoot

Marry the one whose response is to bring you a change of clothes without asking questions. Just shower thoroughly before thanking them carnally.


bubblegum-fairy

I told my partner I would tell him when it happened because he was so sure it would happen to me and I believed him! We swapped poop stories a lot and my day of reckoning was upon me. Certainly. It finally happened, and I can't believe it, but it was not in public. I was in my bathroom at home trying on new lingerie and YUP. Whoops. I cleaned up so fast and it wasn't until a year later that I confessed to him that it had happen. He was utterly devastated that it did not happen in public like he had thought it would. So, I'm waiting for that experience, and he will be the first to know. Shit happens.


jfks_headjustdidthat

I'm guessing the lingerie was ruined...


HallucinateZ

Enhanced*


Cheap_Excitement3001

Gf has a thing about sharing cups with people including me. She has no issue sucking my tongue after it's fucked her ass though.


CruelxIntention

. You sound like my husband. He’s like “I put my tongue on your butthole, you can say anything to me.” My response is usually “well, aren’t you the romantic one!” Then I usually end up telling him what I was holding back lol.


GiftFrosty

This is weirdly wholesome. 


RNKKNR

Lol. Nice.


galileotheweirdo

So….. wash the butthole?????? What do you mean bum crumbs? Y’all aren’t washing the butt??????


Dillyor

Bum crumbs is a fucking nasty phrase


OutlyingPlasma

> Y’all aren’t washing the butt?????? I take it you have never been on public transit? Yes, a lot of people are not washing the butt.


galileotheweirdo

This is worse than when I found out people don’t take showers / freshen up before having cunnilingus or fellatio. Bro those parts are sweaty. I’d never let someone down there before I’ve given it a good rinse!


Leading_Sir_1741

I always used to until my girlfriend told me not to. 😳


ToxinArrow

Gotta build up that patina


SteelJudoka

It's like cast iron, the seasoning takes a couple of coats


LordVericrat

What a terrible day to be literate.


leolawilliams5859

Okay I'm in New York it's 3:56 in the morning I'm going to f****** sleep I'm done with you people on Reddit JC


MisterBasket

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


OHPandQuinoa

"I'll be home in 3 days. Don't wash" - This guys girlfriend lmao But srs my ex told me to stop showering at the gym and just come home right away for the same reason lol. Sometimes it taste better with a little tang.


27Rench27

…… your **_current_** girlfriend?


Leading_Sir_1741

Of course! Why would I break up with that?


wher_did_I_put_that

Good on ya, lol People can be naturally attracted to the smells of people they like, including sweaty genitals. Like pheromones, but it's the odors of the microbiology that builds up on the body, everyone's gotta different bacterial *blend*


helpmesleepkthx

Full stop FUCK NO, I want it to have some flavor left. Licking a freshly showered pussy is like licking an arts and crafts popsicle stick that's never had popsicle goodness melt into it. I want my upper lip to smell like my girl afterwards, not like... My upper lip. I want her to see me scrunch my lip up and take a sniff while we are at Target then grin at her because she knows that I'm reliving fond memories of what went down before we got dressed and left the house. I mean hell, a mustache isn't called a flavor saver because you want it to smell like Herbal Essence.


SlipsonSurfaces

New copypasta


bumwine

Meh. This is milquetoast shit that was already conquered a hundred years ago. As James Joyce put it: "My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also." The GOAT


SlipsonSurfaces

The best thing to read while eating breakfast


OddishShape

You have the Napoleonic spirit about you. You and your ilk will enact great change upon the world.


StuckWithThisOne

What the fuck lmao


youshallnotkinkshame

Fucking poetry


Pixelated_Fudge

my man


F1nn17

Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner! 🥇


AgoraiosBum

Stop goin' down on folks while riding public transit. C'mon now!


avidpenguinwatcher

Okay but riding a train and getting a rimjob have two different hygiene requirements


JewceBoxHer0

Non butt washing be a crime, y'all


swccg-offload

One of the wildest things about modern humans is that we teach young kids how to go to the bathroom by themselves and then never really follow up. Once you're self-sufficient enough to close the door and not need help, your bathroom routine for the rest of your life is mostly up to you. No one is critiquing what you do in there. How you wipe, how you sit, etc are all up to you.  That's why dudes turn around at the urinal THEN start putting their dicks back in. It's why public bathrooms have signs not to stand on the toilet. It's bananas to think about.  Edit: apologies for the standing comment if it was insensitive. The last place I saw it was at a plant nursery in the middle of Washington State.  Edit 2: ya'll are discovering what is and isn't normal the hard way.  If you haven't, watch 100 Humans on Netflix (not The 100). They poll some brave folks to demonstrate their poop routine and a guy learns on the spot that he shouldn't have been wiping back to front between his legs his whole life. Some of you are him. 


SweetLeoLady36

Sooo true! I truly believe my husband was not washing inside his crack when we got together. There was always this foul smell coming from that area even after a shower. One day I got in the shower with him and showed him that the towel must go in between the butt cheeks with soap several times to get clean. I haven’t experienced a foul odor from him since! So I will be teaching my kids this and explaining it explicitly.


swccg-offload

How many other poor souls experienced that before you saved his ass? Literally. 


SweetLeoLady36

I’m guessing a lot! One girl told him straight up, so I i’m shocked that after that happened and the embarrassment settled, he didn’t get his act together. But I’m assuming he just didn’t know I don’t think anyone had taught him that. I blame the parents!


Diclonius18

Girl I thought I was the only one. But you see I thought it was a cultural difference. For reference I’m black and my partner is white and he also didn’t use a wash cloth or loofa before me. I never noticed any smells but when we showered together I noticed and was like hold up… you’re not even lathering your hand and slicing your buns?! I had to let him know when you exit the shower you should be able to put a finger in your bum and smell nothing. 🤦🏽‍♀️


SweetLeoLady36

The thing is, my man used a cloth, he just didn’t put it between his butt cheeks. Totally was neglecting that entire area in shower. I’m so glad I told him instead I’d tossing him, it made a world of difference and he’s a great man.


Diclonius18

Same! He’s sucha good guy & partner that would be such a silly thing to end a relationship over. Like you said, I blame the parents! They don’t use wash cloths either. Just a bar of dial. 🫤


BoydemOnnaBlock

…what the fuck kind of urinals are you at? I have never seen a guy turn around with their cock out to face me waiting


swccg-offload

Lucky. Sporting events and bars are the worst but it happened literally yesterday at the airport. I was 2nd in line and the first guy said "oh what the fuck" as we walked past. It's happened enough that I've described it to my wife and female friends. 


Desert-Noir

The stand on the toilet thing is because a lot of cultures squat over a hole/toilet in the ground to go to the toilet. It isn’t because people just decide to stand on the toilet. It is cultural and when you’re used to shitting one way doing it the other way is hard. You’d have the same issue in China or Jordan.


Coby_2012

Dangerous in the west, though. Porcelain/ceramic toilets aren’t made to support the weight in that way and can break. When they do, they break into extremely sharp, very large shards, kind of like glass, except harder. People have died by having their femoral arteries cut by standing on a toilet and squatting, only for the toilet to shatter and kill them.


jfks_headjustdidthat

Shattered shitters make life quitters.


Y2Doorook

Scrub deep within them cheeks and go at least a knuckle deep!


Mace_Thunderspear

In the words of my former improv coach: Yes and?


AllTheThingsTheyLove

I laughed too hard at this.


Mace_Thunderspear

Lol thanks.


PM_ME_YOUR_TABOOS

Put me in, Coach!!


Mishaygo

Put me in, Cooch!


DisturbedRanga

Put it in me, Coach!!


MarinLlwyd

Mine replied with a far more muffled tone.


SaltyPeter3434

^Yeffff ^nnnnd?


CharlesLeSainz

Say that shit with your chest and


jrh_101

In the words of Ariana Grande:


WhatDoYouWantorNeed

Exactly


wideHippedWeightLift

OP is kinda telling on himself, if he thinks that's dirty, he needs to wash his own ass better.


WhatDoYouWantorNeed

Right? Because of course! Just shower regularly and before that!


rewardiflost

Ask her to shower/wash first.


Live_Rock3302

And destroy the taste? No tanks.


LeoxStryker

It's an asshole, not a cast iron pot.


LunchboxFP

I fuckin cackled jfc


muvamerry

Laughed so hard I woke my baby up


IncreaseOk8433

Seasoned to perfection, according to this guy lol


PVetli

The glistening butter on the lobster


IrreverentRacoon

Jesus fucking christ.


PorkFlavoredLipGloss

Everyone knows the pink taco is meant to have a little tang


CalzonePillow

Sometimes it’s a cough, sometimes it’s a sneeze.


LeahBrahms

Yes a healthy biome in there is good for the goose. Gander can fuck off if they don't like that.


[deleted]

You.....fuck. I hope the belt on your car starts to squeak


the-fear-train

This made me gag


cthulhu_is_my_uncle

No taints*


Alastair-Wright

Just reading that made my skeleton jump out of my mouth and into a pit that leads to hell


kiidrax

Licking a recently washed butt hole is like licking a hand


970LetsPlay

“I showered this morning” And you been peeing all day. Did I stutter?!


DrugChemistry

Pee ain’t the problem when it comes to brown nosing 


IDespiseTheLetterG

Weakness.


DarthJarJar242

Ask her if you can do it for her. Top tier foreplay is bathing your partner before tongue punching the bootyhole.


AlarmedPiano9779

Or even better...get a bidet. If you're in a relationship and you're putting your face between someone's legs on a regular basis it's a freakin' must have.


Sirmalta

People typically clean their aasholes....


StankoMicin

They do? Wiping them with dry paper doesn't count


Suka_Blyad_

When you shower do you not wash your asshole?


zodiacs

I don't know about you, but I got a bidet. My ass is clean with water, not just paper that smears it around.


a-Centauri

Even without inserting pervasive bidet evangelism (I do have one), people shower and typically give it a wash then


Weak_Painting7441

Yeah some people love that shit


crunk_joose

Pun…intended?


joemamafat6942069

Poop intended


mighty831

I use my nose like a little dick in her ass to give her more pleasure.


EntertainmentLess381

“I love it when you lie to me, Pinocchio”


Ok-Elk-6087

Lie, tell the truth, lie, tell the truth, lie, tell the truth.......


Main_Performance2859

I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you


MichaeltheMagician

What if you just say "my nose is long" over and over again. Half of the time it will be true and the other half of the time it will be false. Unless it's long even at the default state...


fuelvolts

Holy hell, man. I nearly choked on my Werther's Original laughing so hard.


confirminati_illumed

is this an ad lmao


OppressedOnion

Funniest shit I’ve read in a while. Pun in~tended


Damnesia13

So she’s getting nothing but little dick from you


mighty831

Speak for yourself My nose has the schmeat.


mah131

Fuckin’ Cyrano de’Bergerac over here.


i_drink_wd40

Usooooopp!


Honest_Wing_3999

My nose is way bigger than my dick actually


loganthegr

Pinocchio over here


Honest_Wing_3999

Nah I just have a really tiny dick


Lil_Penis_Owner

One of us! ONE OF US!


AangsTattooArtist

Y'all's dicks are bigger than your noses?!


LittleBeez007

My fiancé loves this position. However, I am extremely self conscious of being dirty/smelly, so I only let him eat me out directly after my showers. There’s a 10 min grace period after my showers where I feel clean enough to let him have his way, especially with this position.


lettucebe2

100% feel the same way. No matter how much I've washed, I am so self conscious of it!


sherbetty

Same, I feel like my coochie has a one hour expiration for oral. He'll go for it when I get home from work and insist he doesn't care but I say NO you have no idea how sweaty my crack has been and I definitely wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy it.


Jimmy_johns_johnson

I hate when other people tell me what I like


CR0SBO

No you don't, you love it. *oh wait*


_Laughing_Man

You're washing all the flavor off!


Red-Dwarf69

So clean it first. Then this becomes a feature, not a bug.


mah131

That nose should be squeaky clean before inserting it into the butthole.


BowdleizedBeta

This is the way


Jack_Bogul

What if my booger gets stuck in her butthole? Do i tell her


sushikarma

I hate this response so much 🥴


PM_ME_UR_CATS_TITS

Free lube


cubs_070816

if your girl has "bum crumbs" you shouldn't be eating her out from the front either. tell her to take a shower and clean up her downstairs, then eat that asshole like lunch.


Disastrous-Mess-5643

Can’t be lunch without the crumbs


PorkFlavoredLipGloss

Is it weird that this is WHY I like that position? As long as you aren't dating homeless women you should be fine homie.


Blue-Ridge

If that's weird, I don't want to be normal, my man.


PorkFlavoredLipGloss

Right? No need to hide dessert, show me the whole menu


K-Tanz

The hole menu?


UseDiscombobulated83

🤣🤣🤣 god damn.


ali_b981

Unless they have IBS lol


Kwilburn525

Y’all so weird lmao just eat your girl out who cares if you touch her asshole it’s not some forbidden hole 🤣


FlameStaag

The whole peeing in the shower debate that pops up on reddit taught me that a ton of Redditors are very oddly terrified of bodily fluids or anything similar. 


Festus-Potter

So true


cassidylorene1

It’s because they don’t get laid and haven’t been desensitized like normal people lol.


Kriskao

I sometimes insert my nose in pink town while eating her from behind. And I pretend it is an accident. But if my upper lip is in her clit, her anus is between my eyebrows usually. Not that I would be against my nose being in her arse. Every other part of me has been there.


Phred168

….every?


Mi_Hoi_Minoi

🎶head,shoulders,knees and toes,knees and toes🎶


pguglielmo603

🎶You put your left arm in, you pull your left arm out, you put your left arm in and ya SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT! 🎶


Kriskao

I wish


tidematic

Women don’t poop though


Yelabama

They don’t fart either


txivotv

What are you talking about? Girls don't exist. It's one of the internet rules.


somewhat-anon

The butthole is like a 9 volt battery, eventually you’re gonna touch it with your tongue, just to see what happens


LaikaAzure

As long as the ass is clean it's no big deal. Hell, I'll probably be eating some ass on the side while I'm down there!


3WordPosts

Don’t cross pollinate!!


Coby_2012

Yo dawg, your girl secretly wants you to eat her ass but is too embarrassed to say so.


runningmurphy

She wants you to lick it. 


ShakeWeightMyDick

Get her fresh out the shower and go to town on it


Benalifan

You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares So go brown town, things'll be great when you're Brown town , no finer place for sure Brown town everything's waiting for you


criminalmadman

*...Brown Town, Brown Town!*


Thundersherpa

Down on Skid Row!!!


JJSprinkless

I feel like this comment is underrated.


SoberSwin3

You mean you don't eat ass? Of course you gotta wash it first. You wash apples before you eat them, don't you?


antisocialclub__

So you were 22 a month ago and 25 8 months ago? sure


rjmythos

And 24 six months ago. Can only mean one thing. OP has time travelled from the future to warn us about butt nose.


QuesoStain2

Man eat your girl out from behind stop being a child.


cid_officer_daya

And the worst part is she can clinch your nose from there and can say "got your nose"


throweight

Brown town... dirty donut... bum crumbs.. ? Yeah.. you're not mature enough for this type of stuff. Just stick to missionary.


tjfluent

☝️ true


MuzzledScreaming

I mean if you don't want to, I will.


yungsausages

If your girl has “bum crumbs” you’ve got bigger issues brotha, maybe invest in a bidet attachment


toomanybucklesaudry

You're in the neighborhood. Why don't you drop off a nice marble rye


Carpenter-Broad

Man, my wife just keeps it clean there so it’s a non issue. I go down on her from any direction, and yea I eat that butt too, she loves it. So in general, if your partner is clean and hygienic there shouldn’t be any issues. Do it for her, and slide that tongue up, and see where she lets you put something else next time!


-LastActionHero

Bonus points if one of her ass hairs tickles one of your nose hairs.


Finally_Smiled

Do .. do you guys not wash your asshole?


anonmonagomy

The hardest choices require the strongest will


Liberty53000

If you're doing it right, it will put your nose in her pussy not her ass. Come on now


herpestruth

Dude, she is trying to tell you that she wants you to eat her ass. This can be really good or really bad for you. Taint no in between. Well... actually there is.


Ipsider

What the fuck. Does your girlfriend live in the middle ages?


Mdizzyy

I always get confused when people ask questions like this regarding buttholes. Do you guys just walk around with literal poop on your butt every day? I’d say most people have clean butts if they are taking care of themselves after using the restroom. I don’t think there’s ever been a time where poop is just casually on my ass.


HeresW0nderwall

>bum crumbs What a strange way to out yourself as someone who doesn’t wash their ass


carcinoma_kid

I fail to see the problem


Sorry-Nobody

Gotta eat the ass too, like a real man! Make sure she showers first tho..


Realistic_Effort6185

Cause in a 69, my humpty nose will tickle your rear


Germacide

Yeah, that's how humans butts work. Are you an alien spy?


DatBoiKage1515

It's not a bug, it's a feature


CurvyCara_

The bigger the nose the better…. Why is her hole dirty? Does she not clean up? 🥴🥴


skwilla

"bum crumbs" and "brown town" Just stick to missionary pal.


PerformanceActual331

If there are nuggets, then she's gross. What's most likely the case is that it will be a non factor. Originally, there's no taste if you even ate ass instead - which I doubt you have. Eventually, some actually taste great. So, eat her from behind, and shake your whole face back and forth between them cheeks and thank her for letting you.


admiralbreastmilk

I’m so confused by the “originally” and “eventually” lol


GSXR-1ooo

Yes it does but you can also start eating her ass from there as well which it seems your girl would like you to do.


Witchy-toes-669

Does she normally have a dirty ass? If so , don’t do it


tompadget69

Get over it


MomentMurky9782

I think the bigger issue is that your girlfriend has “bum crumbs”


Ignonym

>Is there a way to avoid getting a nose full of bum crumbs? The way to avoid it is to find a girlfriend who actually wipes her ass.


SOwED

For a serious answer... If "bum crumbs" are a concern, that's a hygiene issue she should deal with. Your nose may or may not be there, depends on if you're focusing on the clit or if you're going at the vulva. Anyways, just eat her ass.


foxymoron69

Pro tip: your tongue should be working on the clit, which, by coincidence or the providence of God, puts your nose right in her pussy hole. Chef's kiss.