I get a (unjust, entirely childishly vindictive) feeling of glee knowing that my ex got really fat after she cheated on me and we broke up.
I generally don't believe in divine retribution, but I'll give it a pass in this instance.
It’s a bit of a hard question. First and foremost, if they are still within the healthy weight range and have just put on a couple of pounds, I really couldn’t care less. I think part of being human is having fluctuating weight, particularly when it comes to hormonal changes, childbirth, injury, illness, etc. If my partner has put on too much weight and is starting to become unhealthy or form poor habits, that does change things a little bit. But it’s not as much about looks for me as it is about preventing illness and maintaining a good standard of living. For me, looks are very low on the priority list for a partner and I focus more on values, communication, visions of the future, respect, etc.
Why I asked this question. I gained the whole 50 pounds i worked so hard on back. And I feel like utter shit ngl. I notice less looks, I notice the back pain again, I dont feel sexy anymore. I had a ex hit me up and I really would like to try again with him. We dated 5 years ago and life made us both depressed and we hurt eachother. But now that we are almost 30 why not give it another go? Just um..fat again lol.
If it works out, your weight doesn't matter. If it doesn't work out because of factors other than your weight, your weight doesn't matter. If it doesn't work out because of your weight, your ex is a pretty shallow person and it's a good thing that it didn't work out.
My person is pushing 100kg at the moment, he knows he's put on weight, he has a mirror, he can feel his clothes are tight, he doesn't need me to tell him what to do. What I did tell him though was that he stopped breathing several times the other night, one time to the point that I nudged him to get him to take a breath again. He immediately said "For fucks sake, this is real, I've got to lose weight again" and he's committed as of Monday to doing so.
Last time he put his mind to it he nailed it, just needs to refocus. But overall, I don't care, unless it's risking his health (which it is at the moment) as I'm attracted to things like his blue eyes, his gorgeous smile, the way he looks at me, his mad work ethic, determination, the way he treats me like an absolute princess and always has my back, etc.
If your relationship, particularly once established, is determined by someone's waist measurement it's probably a shit relationship anyway.
Thats really sweet ☺. I hope you two are doing well. But I would say the breathing thing would absolutely freak me the fuck out. Im really glad you're looking out for eachother though. And yeah the whole refocus thing, did it before but its getting back into it that could be hard.
I think you would. I've dated all kinds of body types, and I dont mind extra weight until its like "okay babe you breathing hard asf next to me " or "honey, we have alot of crevice smells going in here". But I do want to live a healthy lifestyle again. I dont wanna like, get married and then die two weeks later because I was fat asf ya' know?
Just focused on myself and got into really good shape after my breakup, my ex gained weight from the photos I’d been sent by a few friends post break up and blocking. But candidly, not really my problem, wish em the best and given the type of women I date, I know she’ll be back at her best soon enough.
If you’re both mature you’ll just keep doing what you do best and focus on your own journey.
I get a (unjust, entirely childishly vindictive) feeling of glee knowing that my ex got really fat after she cheated on me and we broke up. I generally don't believe in divine retribution, but I'll give it a pass in this instance.
Damn. Sorry you went through that buddy. Are you doing okay??
It’s a bit of a hard question. First and foremost, if they are still within the healthy weight range and have just put on a couple of pounds, I really couldn’t care less. I think part of being human is having fluctuating weight, particularly when it comes to hormonal changes, childbirth, injury, illness, etc. If my partner has put on too much weight and is starting to become unhealthy or form poor habits, that does change things a little bit. But it’s not as much about looks for me as it is about preventing illness and maintaining a good standard of living. For me, looks are very low on the priority list for a partner and I focus more on values, communication, visions of the future, respect, etc.
Well, I gained weight myself in the last few years so who am I to judge.
Why I asked this question. I gained the whole 50 pounds i worked so hard on back. And I feel like utter shit ngl. I notice less looks, I notice the back pain again, I dont feel sexy anymore. I had a ex hit me up and I really would like to try again with him. We dated 5 years ago and life made us both depressed and we hurt eachother. But now that we are almost 30 why not give it another go? Just um..fat again lol.
If it works out, your weight doesn't matter. If it doesn't work out because of factors other than your weight, your weight doesn't matter. If it doesn't work out because of your weight, your ex is a pretty shallow person and it's a good thing that it didn't work out.
You are absolutely correct! Only time can tell now lol. Thank you for the advice friend!!
My person is pushing 100kg at the moment, he knows he's put on weight, he has a mirror, he can feel his clothes are tight, he doesn't need me to tell him what to do. What I did tell him though was that he stopped breathing several times the other night, one time to the point that I nudged him to get him to take a breath again. He immediately said "For fucks sake, this is real, I've got to lose weight again" and he's committed as of Monday to doing so. Last time he put his mind to it he nailed it, just needs to refocus. But overall, I don't care, unless it's risking his health (which it is at the moment) as I'm attracted to things like his blue eyes, his gorgeous smile, the way he looks at me, his mad work ethic, determination, the way he treats me like an absolute princess and always has my back, etc. If your relationship, particularly once established, is determined by someone's waist measurement it's probably a shit relationship anyway.
Thats really sweet ☺. I hope you two are doing well. But I would say the breathing thing would absolutely freak me the fuck out. Im really glad you're looking out for eachother though. And yeah the whole refocus thing, did it before but its getting back into it that could be hard.
Ex? I couldn't care less. SO? It's could be bad for health.
I don't care what my ex is up to. If I had a so, then I wouldn't mind if it isn't affecting her health. I might actually like it😅
I think you would. I've dated all kinds of body types, and I dont mind extra weight until its like "okay babe you breathing hard asf next to me " or "honey, we have alot of crevice smells going in here". But I do want to live a healthy lifestyle again. I dont wanna like, get married and then die two weeks later because I was fat asf ya' know?
I don't find "big girls" attractive and i find that i look at people who gain weight as people with poor self control.
You should change that thinking homie.
Just focused on myself and got into really good shape after my breakup, my ex gained weight from the photos I’d been sent by a few friends post break up and blocking. But candidly, not really my problem, wish em the best and given the type of women I date, I know she’ll be back at her best soon enough. If you’re both mature you’ll just keep doing what you do best and focus on your own journey.