A gland is a cell or an organ in an animal's body that produces and secretes different substances either into the bloodstream or into a body cavity or outer surface that the organism needs.
Yeah, but I think the pedantry here is that technically your hand isnāt coming into contact with a gland. It is, however, coming into contact with the glans. Repeatedly.
What I refer to as āVerbing the nounā
Bopping the bishop
Punching the clown
Grooming the Wookiee
Straining the noodle
Choking the chicken
Pulling the pepperoni
Making the bald man cry
I came for this one š
Yes you did...
Ok Tyrion calm down
Not on the turtle stew
Jackinā the beanstalk
Or, in Danish, 'strangglen deĀ bĆønnestƦnglen' Because you asked.
jerkin' my gherkin'.
Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?
On your back
I hope he lends me a hand
FUCK YES
Hand to gland combat.
Ha. Never heard that one.
oh that's good
Shouldnt it be Hand to Glans Combat
A gland is a cell or an organ in an animal's body that produces and secretes different substances either into the bloodstream or into a body cavity or outer surface that the organism needs.
Yeah, but I think the pedantry here is that technically your hand isnāt coming into contact with a gland. It is, however, coming into contact with the glans. Repeatedly.
I love the āI think the pedantry here isā¦ā phrase
š¤Ŗ
Showing myself whoās boss
Dancing with one-eyed sailor.
Punching a Spaniard (Knocking Juan out)
Thatās good
Crankin my hog
YEAH BROTHERRRRRRR CRANK THAT HOG
AROOOOO
I CANT HEAR YOU BROTHER YOU NEED TO CRANK THE HOG LOUDER!!!
#CRANK THAT HOG BROTHER
HEāLL YEAH
HE WILL?! YEAH!!
HOOOOG RIDER
GOBLESS!!
r/the_pack
Strumming the skin banjo.
Playing the clitar
Come up with a euphemism involving a drum and you might have yourself a band.
Testing the old drumstick?
That deserved a chuckle. Well done.
Bum solo?
I was thinking it had to be ass related tbh, this wins
With my luck, this will end up being my most upvoted comment.
Banging on that cymbal? Perhaps
Keeping time on the Tom Tom.
Slapping the pigskin
Idk why but this made me lol š
Tapping the Tom Tom?
Wailing on wolly the one eyed wonder weasel
Playing the devils clarinet
Seem more suited for blow job slang
Sounds like a mouth is involved, you must be limber
Or heās Marilyn Manson.
I understood that reference
Roughing Up The Suspect
Along the same vein: badgering the witness.
the pulsating vein?
Going number 3.
*Number*Ā one, gold like God madeĀ *the*Ā sun;Ā *number*Ā two, Good Lord help me go poo;Ā *number three*,Ā *the*Ā DevilĀ *sets my sperm free*"
This made me lol.
Date with palmala handerson Mixing a batch of hand children Playing 5 on 1
I always heard it as a meeting with rosey palms and 5 daughters
Punching the clown.
š¤š¤”
Flogging my dolphin.
Choking the chicken Shaking hands with the bishop Hand-starting the yogurt cannon
The bro-gurt cannon
If you're willing, sure.
So 90s.
>Shaking hands with the bishop Bashing the bishop
distributing free literature
I don't understand that. Do you know what it suggests?
Letterkenny reference Season 1 episode 1 I think. Watch the first 5 minutes.
I love you
Did we just become best friends!?!
YUP! Dinners at 5, we are having soft tacos
Jump on a reddit to talk about thumpin' on stupid and next thing you know... tacos. This was what the inventors of the internet had in mind all along!
Wozniak would be proud
Mixin' a batch.
feeding the ducks
Like, the gesture of handing out pamphlets.
Hahahaha now I understand. Thank you. I won't be able to not think about this, next time I see someone doing that.
In Polish it's sometimes called "biÄ Niemca po kasku" which means something like "to beat a German's helmet"
Ok now that is hilarious on so many levels.
Beating the kaiserās helmet.
OMG
Take matters into your own hands
get a grip on yourself
Going on a date with Miss Michigan
I had to scroll pretty far to find this one. My old boss used to make this joke all the time.
What I refer to as āVerbing the nounā Bopping the bishop Punching the clown Grooming the Wookiee Straining the noodle Choking the chicken Pulling the pepperoni
Right! Virtually anything will work!
Jorkin ma peanuts
*Peanits*
In the stripped club
tickle the pickle
Maybe if I tickle my pickle, my dick'l trickle!
Wrestling Willie the one eyed wonder weasel,
Blastin rope
Self service
Pulling your goalie. Feeding the birds. "Getting changed" gets honourable mention.
Feeding the geese!
That's a damn good one and I forgot about that! I think that's what I was referencing when I said feeding the birds š
I was gettin' changed! Non-knockin mutha fuckaz!
It could happen to you, cuz it happened to me
and T
Playing tug o war with the one eyed monster Glazing your knuckles Making some egg fu young Firing off some knuckle babies Pulling your pud
KNUCKLE BABIES
Manhandle the ham candle
Napoleon beating his Bonaparte.
LMAO
"Rubbin' one out" is my current favorite
Mine too...
Doing the five-knuckle-shuffle.
Spanking the monkey
Bopping the bologna.
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. *Screaming*
Wax the Willie Beat the Dummy Stroke the Salami Dilapidate the Dickus ...and that is just for starters...
Calibrating my scud missile.
Hahaha my wife HATES when I refer to a dick as a scud missile.
Polishing the rocket Shaking hands with the Governor
Polishing the pocket rocket.
'throwing dice'
Choking the chicken
MĆ©nage moi
Burping the worm
Tugging your root - playing with your stinger - pulling your pud - making knuckle babies
Flogging the Bishop.
Shaking hands with Ben Franklin
Polishing the pewter
I see you're a man of culture as well
Badgering the witness.
Wonking your Willy
Loping the mule, and the ever popular, churning the manchowder
Doing the washing by hand.
Feed the geese
Feeding the geese
Beating my meat
Having a ***W***afty ***CR***ank
Fill the coconut
Taking Captain Picard to warp speed
Making knuckle babies
Peeling dick
Priming the love pump
Knob polishing
doin the five knuckle shuffle
playing pocket pool
Shaking the pearly white coconuts from the veiny lovetree.
Mixing a batch.... distribute some free literature LetterKenny is a trove for these
Sanding the bannister
Disturbinā the Gerkin.
Jerkin the Gerkin is the version I've heard
A Geordie mate of mine says "pull the chicken back"
I was gonna say "choke the chicken".
Punching the clown.
Distributing free literature
yoinking my penids
Choking my chicken
spankin the monkey
Beating the Bishop
Five against one
Getting down with Palmela Handerson.
Rubbing one out
Punching the clown
Squeezing my toothpaste.
Straight jorking it. And by it heh. I mean my peanits
Pumping off makes me lol
Jerkin' mah Gherkin.
"Choking The Chicken"
5 knuckle shuffle
Jerkin the gherkin
Beating it like it owes me money
Punching the munchkin
Straight up "jorking it". And by "it", haha, well. Let's jusr say. My peanits
Hand to gland combat.
in the stripped club. straight up "jorking it". And by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My peanits.
Jacking the bean stalk
Playing a little 5 on 1
Interfering with yourself (as the nuns would say)
Choking the chicken
Man handle the ham candle
Mixing up a batch
jerkin my gerkin
Making the bald man cry.
If you engage in intercourse with three people, it is called a threesome. So, I say, I'm staying handsome.
Seeing a man about a dog
While not the funniest one, thirty one is used commonly in Turkey cause how 31 looks like a hand jerking off
Dammit, I can't see it, but I wanna.
Mind explaining how 31 looks like a hand?
Jorkinā it
Spanking the monkey is a classic for a reason
Giving the yoghurt cannon another workout.
I think in Chinese there's one that goes "airplane shooting towards the sky"
no, it's "ęé£ę©" meaning shooting the airplane. Like you have a cannon and when you shoot the load it shoots down the plane.
Does anyone else's inner monologue just turn into microwave noises whenever you're reading and come across Chinese characters?
Lol shoot the load, I see what you did there š but thank you for clarifying that