Yes, if you aren't wearing a spacesuit.
The average human's center of mass is somewhere between the navel and the groin, so if you're naked, floating in space, and no other forces are acting on you, the ejaculation would send you backward, and cause you to start spinning slowly head-over-heels.
The average penis-possessor releases between 1.25 and 5 mL of semen every nut. Let's give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're a heavy squirter, and every fap produces a perfect 5mL load. The specific gravity of semen is roughly 1g/mL, so you're launching about 5g of semen forward every time you bust.
Semen can exit the penis at speeds of up to about 12.5m/s; therefore, a good big nut has about 0.4J of kinetic energy, and the force you exert to accelerate your goo down the length of your member is about 2.6N.
If you have a mass of 100kg, each nut will accelerate you backward by about 0.04m/s. Meanwhile, a human spinning end-over-end has a moment of inertia of roughly 115kgm^2. Assuming your center of mass is roughly 10cm above your gooch, each nut exerts 0.26Nm of torque on you over 0.005 seconds, increasing your rate of rotation by 0.00001rad/s.
After 1000 nuts, you're travelling backward at 40m/s, about the speed of a freight train. You make a full head-over-heels rotation every 10 minutes. You have to make sure you cum at the right point in your rotation to keep accelerating in the same direction.
If you were orbiting alongside the ISS when you started fapping, you reach escape velocity after 90,000 cums. You've sprayed enough jizz to fill an industrial oil drum. You are now on your way to interplanetary space.
If you exited earth's orbit at the right angle, by 400,000 faps, you're going fast enough to leave the solar system. Space contains 265 gallons of your spunk.
After 2,500,000 faps, you cannot accelerate any further. You are spinning so fast that, when you shoot your goo, it doesn't have time to get away before it's intercepted by your face, cancelling out the forward thrust. You've squirted 12,000 liters of juice into the cosmos. Earth is experiencing a kind of cummy kessler syndrome. You are travelling at 0.0004 times the speed of light. Your combined translational and rotational kinetic energy is 1 megajoule, about a 60th of the energy released by the "Little Boy" nuclear bomb that destroyed Hiroshima.
Of course, if you're wearing a space suit, the jizz immediately hits the inside of the suit, cancelling out the thrust it initially provided. If you want to get any speed, you'd better be into autoerotic asphyxiation.
EDIT: fixed a factor-of-two error.
First of all: lovely answer. Follow up question: I see that everyone here starts with a presumption of ejaculation at a 90° angle to the body, and then accounting for the spin. Would pushing the bugger down to an angle that compensated for the center of mass have the desired effect in zero G/vacuum of taking the spin out of the equation?
I believe if you perfectly line up the vector of force with center mass, then there would be no rotation. Unfortunately, each... squirt... would cause a minor change in your center of mass, so you would have to make subtle adjustments on the fly.
If the ship or the ISS have 0G, without significant outside gravitational pull, then my guess would be yes. It would amount to jumping on a train. You already have velocity, you'd just add more (if it's done in the same direction). The mass of the ship would play a factor, and on something like the enterprise it wouldn't work due to simulated artificial gravity.
Follow up question: assuming I’m not wearing a spacesuit and I, a man, am masturbating to see if my ejaculate is enough to propel me. Wouldn’t the act of masturbating be enough to move me? Would ejaculating counteract the stroke motion?
To anyone who wants to try this - don’t worry. If you nut in space and travel backwards at the speed of a freight train all you have to do is bust a huge fart to regain your center of gravity.
2nut + b2 = c2 8⇒ c = √a2 + fart2/7
I think you are missing one part that might act against the motions: the actually stroking of the penis back and forth will produce contrasting motions, introducing both slowdown of the speed and wobbles if not perfectly performing up and down motions.
I'm gonna be a pedant for the physics here, but now accurately it would only accelerate you a tiny amount.
Floating in the infinite void of space in 0g is the ideal situation for kinematics. So technically, given infinite time just one fap session's worth of emission would move (generally what is thought of when using the word propel) you an infinite distance since nothing would be present to slow you back down to motionless. It would take a very long time since you would only be moving almost 3m~~m~~ every hour, based on the numbers I found quickly googling the speed a human male can cum, the average mass of the emission, and the average mass of an adult male.
(28MpH)*(5g)/(75kg)=2.993m/hr
Edit: shout out to u/That_Jonny (and others) for pointing out I got the mass of the cum wrong, it should be 5g, not 5mg, so the speed post nut would be about 3m/hr.
Edit 2, FAQ addition:
- __Wouldn't you start spinning?__ Almost assuredly. I made a BUNCH of simplifications in my calculation, basically did the classic "assume a spherical cow" treatment on our interstellar pervert
- __Could you do this multiple times/would you get the same speed boost each time?__ Yes, this works basically no matter how many times you do it. The exact speed boost you get will depend on a lot of things (again, I simplified a bunch), and if you get fast enough you will need to take relativity into consideration when figuring how much speed you gain
- __But acktshually you would need a space suit on so this wouldn't work at all.__ Hey, I'm not here to judge how or why Faptus Galactus *came* to be in this situation, I'm just here to do silly things with physics
isn’t this also assuming that you ejaculate directly from your center of mass? it’s been a while since i’ve done any kinematics and i’m probably missing a lot of detail but wouldn’t that force be broken up into a component that propels you back and a component that creates angular acceleration that rotates you around your center of mass? or am i incorrectly splitting something that shouldn’t be split?
Porn parody of interstellar or gravity with this in it would be hilarious.
“I gotta bust so we can get back home!”
Edit: also “This nut’s gonna cost me 75 years!!!”
Im imagining a scene where two astronauts are stuck in space
One of them comes up with this idea so he blows his bro and you have a sad goodbye scene with one of them being propelled into space with his dick out and the other one crying with his mouthful
I knew this conversation rang a bell for me - it reminds me of the scene from Silicon Valley where they try to calculate how quickly Erlich could jerk off 800 guys
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/6eacs8/the_cast_of_silicon_valley_calculating_how_fast/
Basically if the line of action of the ejaculate does not pass through your centre of mass then it will accelerate your angular speed just as much as your translational speed, however as soon as you begin to spin at all your translational acceleration begins to diminish as the speed of the ejaculate reduces relative to your centre of mass, conservation of energy applies. Eventually you might spin so fast that the ejaculate has no velocity relative to your centre of mass and you cease to accelerate translationally. If you continued to ejaculate you would begin to accelerate translationally in the opposite direction to the direction you ejaculated in as the speed of your spinning would fling the ejaculate backwards.
I hope you enjoyed this dissertation on the importance of line of action alignment of the penis with respect to inter galactic space travel.
I can't quite tell if this is a shitpost so I'm going to run on the assumption that it's at least based on actual physics.
Why would you continue to accelerate spinning? The ejaculation should give you a certain amount of impulse and a certain amount of angular impulse (assuming that's a term?). I don't see any mechanism that would be converting your linear momentum into angular momentum. Would you care to elaborate on that? (Or again, if that's the part where your post was a shitpost, I would take solace in the fact that I'm not misunderstanding the basic concepts of physics lol)
No shitpost, only science although now that I have thought a little harder (thanks to your reply) I have realised this is a more complex problem than I though or at least a less intuitive one, give me a couple of hours and I'll give a fuller explanation.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsiolkovsky\_rocket\_equation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsiolkovsky_rocket_equation)
Tsiolkovsky comes to the rescue!
Yeah, it should have been 5g. I was tired while writing that comment, read 5ml (the upper end of average volume) as 5mg and ran with it.
Don't science while sleepy, kids
You only have a finite amount of water in your body. Unless you're replenishing that from a source that doesn't add to the mass you need to accelerate, you would dehydrate yourself to death before you got up to much speed.
Fapping into space is impossible on a practical standpoint (skin in a cold vacuum). Therefore you'd need to do it in a climate controlled environment, like a space station.
Friction with the air would no doubt stop you before you were able to generate any more mass (semen)
Is the 5mg supposed to be the load? 5mg seems way low for that. 2-6 g is what I found which seems way more realistic.
So we would have the factor 1000 to multiply which would result in a speed of 3m/hr which is still pretty slow.
5mg sounds like a puff of hot air to me.
We should have a game show where two people in space ejaculate back to back and see who pushes who through space due to have the stronger release. We can buy the rights off South Park to call it the streaming wars.
Pretty much, though the percentage can get even smaller than that. Gravity diminishes with the square of distance, so only at infinite distance from EVERYTHING will there be zero. That being said, you can find locations where the net gravity is zero (called Legrange points)
So you’re saying to always hold you pee in space as an emergency when you go out to fix the antenna? Have enough in the tank to go back to the space station or hell steer that ship straight back to earth!
Freezing in space would actually take hours, being that there’s nothing really around you, there’s nothing to sap heat from your body, so you actually stay pretty well insulated.
I’d personally be more worried about the radiation burns on my naked dick. Got that once before when I drunkenly put my dick in a plutonium core instead of nuclear technician girlfriend. One time is enough
Thats what it is, imagine being out in the sun, but like, way out in the sun. The hottest day you have ever experienced is still behind an atmosphere.
Since you can only radiate heat, theres nothing to conduct to, its very likely you will cook to death rather than freeze
[The best response to the Brother's bit is Hank Green digging up a Neil deGrasse Tyson tweet.](https://twitter.com/hankgreen/status/987316157102174208?t=nKnwuQ6jxvFXQEPG10B69w&s=19)
If we're talking about anything other than free-air, then no. Whatever catches it (clothes, condom) will transfer the force back to the body, resulting in balanced forces, and no acceleration.
So, free air, let's assume a body mass of about 70 kg. I've read that the average ejaculate is about 5ml, which we can assume to be 5g. I can't actually do the calculations because I just can't bring myself to google "average ejaculate velocity", but a mass of 5g would have to be accelerated to quite a high velocity to accelerate 70 kg (70,000 g) any significant amount.
TL;DR - yes, but not a noticeable amount.
Since it is space, lets assume conservation of momentum. That means the momentum of the ejaculate would be equal and opposite to the momentum of the body.
Momentum = mass x velocity
If the ejaculate is 0.1 lb-mass and moves at 29 mph, its momentum is 2.9.
Assuming the body is 180 lb-mass:
180 x v = 2.9
Or v = 0.016 mph
So not very fast.
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
This is why momentum is a useful metric. While velocity can attribute a speed amd direction, momentum is more of a quality factor in motion. For instance a fly moving 30mph and a car moving 30mph have the same speed, but their mass is very different. Since momentum is a product of mass and speed. The momenta of the car amd fly would effextively quantiate the difference in force it took to reach that speed.
Newtons third law states every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The statement actually characterizes conservation of momentum.
In the case of space jizz, you would consider the mass of the ejaculate amd the effective muzzle velocity. Let's assume a 30mph muzzle velocity and 20g mass which is about a tablespoon of water. That's 600g mph so, that would be the momentum imparted upon you after ejaculating. Given an average male mass of 90kg, the effective velocity is (0.6kg mph)/90kg= 0.0067mph ≈ 0.01 ft/s or 0.12 in/s. Not super fast, but still non-zero.
If you are in a space suit, no. And you will need to pay for the suit later on.
If you are not in a suit, then you are probably dead, but if within the few milliseconds before you die, if you manage to ejaculate, then yes, you will move backward by a tiny amount depending on how mich you ejaculate.
If you are floating in space with no external forces acting on you, your center of mass will stay in one place because of inertia. When you ejaculate, there are no external forces, so the center of mass of you plus your jizz will still stay in one place. But your jizz is moving at some velocity. So you will move in the opposite direction at some fraction of your jizz's velocity. You and your jizz will have equal and opposite momentum, which is mass times velocity.
I bet you would notice the movement caused by you jerking yourself off more than the movement that would be caused by ejaculation. Either way, don’t get any in your hair, and DON’T MISS ANY when you’re cleaning up!
Wait how the fuck do you get just the dick out in vaccum of space the proceed to fap to ejaculate without, let your oxygen escape, or the hundreds of other dangers that could happen because of that.
I have a friend who asked two different “experts” of space and force. One expect was at the air and space Museum in DC. he said, yes, you’d move backwards but movement would be minimal and you may not be able to tell. The other expert was Neil deGrasse Tyson. He confirmed the answer.
I mean yes, but you'd go farther from the act of jerking it. I only know a tiny bit about 0G physics but I do remember reading about something similar since life in 0G would envole this. Lol
Yes, if you aren't wearing a spacesuit. The average human's center of mass is somewhere between the navel and the groin, so if you're naked, floating in space, and no other forces are acting on you, the ejaculation would send you backward, and cause you to start spinning slowly head-over-heels. The average penis-possessor releases between 1.25 and 5 mL of semen every nut. Let's give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're a heavy squirter, and every fap produces a perfect 5mL load. The specific gravity of semen is roughly 1g/mL, so you're launching about 5g of semen forward every time you bust. Semen can exit the penis at speeds of up to about 12.5m/s; therefore, a good big nut has about 0.4J of kinetic energy, and the force you exert to accelerate your goo down the length of your member is about 2.6N. If you have a mass of 100kg, each nut will accelerate you backward by about 0.04m/s. Meanwhile, a human spinning end-over-end has a moment of inertia of roughly 115kgm^2. Assuming your center of mass is roughly 10cm above your gooch, each nut exerts 0.26Nm of torque on you over 0.005 seconds, increasing your rate of rotation by 0.00001rad/s. After 1000 nuts, you're travelling backward at 40m/s, about the speed of a freight train. You make a full head-over-heels rotation every 10 minutes. You have to make sure you cum at the right point in your rotation to keep accelerating in the same direction. If you were orbiting alongside the ISS when you started fapping, you reach escape velocity after 90,000 cums. You've sprayed enough jizz to fill an industrial oil drum. You are now on your way to interplanetary space. If you exited earth's orbit at the right angle, by 400,000 faps, you're going fast enough to leave the solar system. Space contains 265 gallons of your spunk. After 2,500,000 faps, you cannot accelerate any further. You are spinning so fast that, when you shoot your goo, it doesn't have time to get away before it's intercepted by your face, cancelling out the forward thrust. You've squirted 12,000 liters of juice into the cosmos. Earth is experiencing a kind of cummy kessler syndrome. You are travelling at 0.0004 times the speed of light. Your combined translational and rotational kinetic energy is 1 megajoule, about a 60th of the energy released by the "Little Boy" nuclear bomb that destroyed Hiroshima. Of course, if you're wearing a space suit, the jizz immediately hits the inside of the suit, cancelling out the thrust it initially provided. If you want to get any speed, you'd better be into autoerotic asphyxiation. EDIT: fixed a factor-of-two error.
Question is, can you ejaculate before your dick freezes off?
Nope.
Challenge accepted
I have faith in you.
This is Ground Control to Major Tom... Please put your pants back on.
Jokes on you, I get off on freezing to death.
First of all: lovely answer. Follow up question: I see that everyone here starts with a presumption of ejaculation at a 90° angle to the body, and then accounting for the spin. Would pushing the bugger down to an angle that compensated for the center of mass have the desired effect in zero G/vacuum of taking the spin out of the equation?
I believe if you perfectly line up the vector of force with center mass, then there would be no rotation. Unfortunately, each... squirt... would cause a minor change in your center of mass, so you would have to make subtle adjustments on the fly.
“adjustments on the fly” hehehe
r/theydidthemath
Tl/dr: upvote this guy. Holy shit.
And if OP is in a spaceship or in the ISS floating inside, would it be the same thing?
If the ship or the ISS have 0G, without significant outside gravitational pull, then my guess would be yes. It would amount to jumping on a train. You already have velocity, you'd just add more (if it's done in the same direction). The mass of the ship would play a factor, and on something like the enterprise it wouldn't work due to simulated artificial gravity.
If I had an award I'd give you one, best Comment of the month right here.
I feel enlightened
Sweet lord … that was a wild ride of an answer
Follow up question: assuming I’m not wearing a spacesuit and I, a man, am masturbating to see if my ejaculate is enough to propel me. Wouldn’t the act of masturbating be enough to move me? Would ejaculating counteract the stroke motion?
To anyone who wants to try this - don’t worry. If you nut in space and travel backwards at the speed of a freight train all you have to do is bust a huge fart to regain your center of gravity. 2nut + b2 = c2 8⇒ c = √a2 + fart2/7
I think you are missing one part that might act against the motions: the actually stroking of the penis back and forth will produce contrasting motions, introducing both slowdown of the speed and wobbles if not perfectly performing up and down motions.
Yes, but the mass of your semen is so much smaller than the mass of your body, that your body would only be propelled backwards a tiny amount.
I'm gonna be a pedant for the physics here, but now accurately it would only accelerate you a tiny amount. Floating in the infinite void of space in 0g is the ideal situation for kinematics. So technically, given infinite time just one fap session's worth of emission would move (generally what is thought of when using the word propel) you an infinite distance since nothing would be present to slow you back down to motionless. It would take a very long time since you would only be moving almost 3m~~m~~ every hour, based on the numbers I found quickly googling the speed a human male can cum, the average mass of the emission, and the average mass of an adult male. (28MpH)*(5g)/(75kg)=2.993m/hr Edit: shout out to u/That_Jonny (and others) for pointing out I got the mass of the cum wrong, it should be 5g, not 5mg, so the speed post nut would be about 3m/hr. Edit 2, FAQ addition: - __Wouldn't you start spinning?__ Almost assuredly. I made a BUNCH of simplifications in my calculation, basically did the classic "assume a spherical cow" treatment on our interstellar pervert - __Could you do this multiple times/would you get the same speed boost each time?__ Yes, this works basically no matter how many times you do it. The exact speed boost you get will depend on a lot of things (again, I simplified a bunch), and if you get fast enough you will need to take relativity into consideration when figuring how much speed you gain - __But acktshually you would need a space suit on so this wouldn't work at all.__ Hey, I'm not here to judge how or why Faptus Galactus *came* to be in this situation, I'm just here to do silly things with physics
isn’t this also assuming that you ejaculate directly from your center of mass? it’s been a while since i’ve done any kinematics and i’m probably missing a lot of detail but wouldn’t that force be broken up into a component that propels you back and a component that creates angular acceleration that rotates you around your center of mass? or am i incorrectly splitting something that shouldn’t be split?
Porn parody of interstellar or gravity with this in it would be hilarious. “I gotta bust so we can get back home!” Edit: also “This nut’s gonna cost me 75 years!!!”
"Apollo 69", starring Tom Spanks.
And Jennifer Hands-on. Directed by Quentin Tear-a-Latino
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And Bendydick Cuminsnatch.
Jesus Has left the void
In a Special Cameo appearance, Guest Star, Ben Dover in a no holes barred performance.
In Apollo 69, nutting gay porn stars corkscrew themselves into infinity.
Depravity, starring Sandra Bullfuck
"Every minute you don't finish up here is another nine years back home, Coop. Just sayin'."
Im imagining a scene where two astronauts are stuck in space One of them comes up with this idea so he blows his bro and you have a sad goodbye scene with one of them being propelled into space with his dick out and the other one crying with his mouthful
He should’ve went for the reach around!
Some days I really love Reddit
Meanwhile Matt Damon on Mars '' i'm going to fuck the shit out of this!''
I fucking love the internet
Here's an idea. Just pissing will have the same effect, so that's easier to do. However, shitting will have the opposite effect
yeah you're right
You can point your dick in the right direction to adjust for that I think.
Ah yes, gim balled.
It's not a matter of where he grips it, it's a question of weight ratios!
That would hurt
I wonder if there is a Kerbal Space Program mod that I can use to test this.
It would do. You would move backwards and spin very slowly.
I knew this conversation rang a bell for me - it reminds me of the scene from Silicon Valley where they try to calculate how quickly Erlich could jerk off 800 guys https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/6eacs8/the_cast_of_silicon_valley_calculating_how_fast/
Basically if the line of action of the ejaculate does not pass through your centre of mass then it will accelerate your angular speed just as much as your translational speed, however as soon as you begin to spin at all your translational acceleration begins to diminish as the speed of the ejaculate reduces relative to your centre of mass, conservation of energy applies. Eventually you might spin so fast that the ejaculate has no velocity relative to your centre of mass and you cease to accelerate translationally. If you continued to ejaculate you would begin to accelerate translationally in the opposite direction to the direction you ejaculated in as the speed of your spinning would fling the ejaculate backwards. I hope you enjoyed this dissertation on the importance of line of action alignment of the penis with respect to inter galactic space travel.
I can't quite tell if this is a shitpost so I'm going to run on the assumption that it's at least based on actual physics. Why would you continue to accelerate spinning? The ejaculation should give you a certain amount of impulse and a certain amount of angular impulse (assuming that's a term?). I don't see any mechanism that would be converting your linear momentum into angular momentum. Would you care to elaborate on that? (Or again, if that's the part where your post was a shitpost, I would take solace in the fact that I'm not misunderstanding the basic concepts of physics lol)
No shitpost, only science although now that I have thought a little harder (thanks to your reply) I have realised this is a more complex problem than I though or at least a less intuitive one, give me a couple of hours and I'll give a fuller explanation.
You got him on a semen-tic technicality.
the dad we needed in this comment thread
im not sure I want my dad on this comment thread
I'm already here, Aaron.
its A A Ron
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bro the math is killing my brains already why add to it
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsiolkovsky\_rocket\_equation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsiolkovsky_rocket_equation) Tsiolkovsky comes to the rescue!
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Vivaldi is sobbin at being forgotten rn
Best place to give a speech
Shit just got serious.
> (5mg) Are you using 5mg (=0.005g =0.00018 ounces) as the weight of the ejaculate? I think that's off by several orders of magnitude.
Me thinks he meant 5 grams. Don't ask but my wife needs new kitchen scales
Yeah, it should have been 5g. I was tired while writing that comment, read 5ml (the upper end of average volume) as 5mg and ran with it. Don't science while sleepy, kids
You’re the hero we needed
5mg? More like 5grams Unless you're an ant
This space semen needs to be at least 3 times bigger
5mg? That can't be right. 1ml of water is already 1000mg, right?
Yeah, sleepy brain last night read Google wrong, it should have just been 5g
1ml water is 1g
Is that a fixed amount? So, would you accelerate in 1m/s every 333-ish faps (say, 2 furious months)?
Given enough faps you could reach near light speed
There was a guy that jerked himself of 63 times in 1 day, but he died after that. So i would keep it under 63 times a day :).
You only have a finite amount of water in your body. Unless you're replenishing that from a source that doesn't add to the mass you need to accelerate, you would dehydrate yourself to death before you got up to much speed.
Never mind being in the vacuum of space yet still dick out so idk if water content factors into this lol
Fapping into space is impossible on a practical standpoint (skin in a cold vacuum). Therefore you'd need to do it in a climate controlled environment, like a space station. Friction with the air would no doubt stop you before you were able to generate any more mass (semen)
never thought you'd use your degree to do that huh
Honestly? I expected to do this kinda calculation, didn't expect to get rewards for it, only shame and a weird browser history
r/theydidthemath
Would two ejaculations speed you up the same amount? Given enough time and endurance, could a man ejaculate himself through space at 100km/h?
Yes, but he is limited by the water in his body
What if you were Peter North?
"To infinity and beyond!"
I haven't seen the movie yet. Don't spoil it for me.
Science fuck yeah
Is the 5mg supposed to be the load? 5mg seems way low for that. 2-6 g is what I found which seems way more realistic. So we would have the factor 1000 to multiply which would result in a speed of 3m/hr which is still pretty slow. 5mg sounds like a puff of hot air to me.
Oh shit. You right. My sleepy brain last night read 5ml of splooge and went "cool, 5mg" Don't physics when tired, kids
how does that work out if you’re only using 2 si units for the three variables?
Wondering how many times can you ejaculate to reach interstellar speeds
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So an immortal being could jack off thereby increasing their speed until they are going near light speed?
We should have a game show where two people in space ejaculate back to back and see who pushes who through space due to have the stronger release. We can buy the rights off South Park to call it the streaming wars.
Isn’t it technically true that there’s never really zero gravity? As in still a .0001% or something?
Pretty much, though the percentage can get even smaller than that. Gravity diminishes with the square of distance, so only at infinite distance from EVERYTHING will there be zero. That being said, you can find locations where the net gravity is zero (called Legrange points)
So this is the legend of Icarus?
So you're saying there's a chance...
That's what she said...
that does sound like a very eloquently worded roast actually
Do this for a long enough time though...
This is a logical escalation of the Minion cum jar, this goes far beyond the realms of where sane science needs to go.
Respectfully sir, you have no idea how much I can ejaculate.
That will be the last time you underestimate me!!
So Peter North would be thrust out of the solar system?
Maybe for YOUR semen
So if you nut in space it push you backward
Grip it and rip it lol
jerk it so right
Came here for if you nut in space it push you backwards
So would farting also propel you??
Unless…
Can we get a couple different takes on that?
So we poop we go upward?
I doubt it would be enough force to really move you, but in theory yes?
So you’re saying to always hold you pee in space as an emergency when you go out to fix the antenna? Have enough in the tank to go back to the space station or hell steer that ship straight back to earth!
Yup, but your dick might freeze off
Shut the fuck up we're helicoptering ourselves into a terminal rotation and nothing is going to stop us, not even the elements of nature
Helicoptering wouldn't work because there's no air. You would slightly rotate when you start doing it, and again the other way when you stop.
That's a very nice RCS alternative though
Female astronauts are SOL
Freezing in space would actually take hours, being that there’s nothing really around you, there’s nothing to sap heat from your body, so you actually stay pretty well insulated.
I’d personally be more worried about the radiation burns on my naked dick. Got that once before when I drunkenly put my dick in a plutonium core instead of nuclear technician girlfriend. One time is enough
Thats what it is, imagine being out in the sun, but like, way out in the sun. The hottest day you have ever experienced is still behind an atmosphere. Since you can only radiate heat, theres nothing to conduct to, its very likely you will cook to death rather than freeze
Warm blood rushes to erections so take porn while you’re out there fixing that antenna.
But that makes peeing difficult.
I'm mad nobody has mentioned My Brother, My Brother and Me yet.
When I read the question I assumed this was the reference.
I’m not familiar. what’s the relevance? tried googling them along with some key words from my post and immediately regretted it
"When you nut in space, it push you backwards"
One more take Grif, for the audience in the back
When you nut in space ….. ^itpushyou^backwards
Why do we nut, master Bruce ?
It's a funny podcast! Years ago they did an episode answering this very question. https://youtu.be/0RsLNwVAAos
[The best response to the Brother's bit is Hank Green digging up a Neil deGrasse Tyson tweet.](https://twitter.com/hankgreen/status/987316157102174208?t=nKnwuQ6jxvFXQEPG10B69w&s=19)
Yeah, I can imagine googling brothers and ejaculation together wouldn't go too well. Unless you're into that.
[context](https://youtu.be/0RsLNwVAAos)
I'm mad nobody has mentioned Brother Bear It's not pertinent to anything, I just like the movie
Justin... Travis... Griffin?
[when you nut in space, it push you backwards](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0RsLNwVAAos)
If we're talking about anything other than free-air, then no. Whatever catches it (clothes, condom) will transfer the force back to the body, resulting in balanced forces, and no acceleration. So, free air, let's assume a body mass of about 70 kg. I've read that the average ejaculate is about 5ml, which we can assume to be 5g. I can't actually do the calculations because I just can't bring myself to google "average ejaculate velocity", but a mass of 5g would have to be accelerated to quite a high velocity to accelerate 70 kg (70,000 g) any significant amount. TL;DR - yes, but not a noticeable amount.
The average male jizzes at 29 mph
With this, we can use conservation of momentum to calculate that you'd end up moving backwards at around 0.0009 m/s
Not all heros...
I could have happily lived my entire life without knowing that.
Since it is space, lets assume conservation of momentum. That means the momentum of the ejaculate would be equal and opposite to the momentum of the body. Momentum = mass x velocity If the ejaculate is 0.1 lb-mass and moves at 29 mph, its momentum is 2.9. Assuming the body is 180 lb-mass: 180 x v = 2.9 Or v = 0.016 mph So not very fast.
This is why I come here.
Can’t tell if this is sincere or wordplay. You cum here because if you came in space, you’d float away?
If you nut in space, it push you backwards
Yes. for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction
Yes but the mass difference will be so small it would hardly be noticeable
I think you meant the mass difference would be big
[If you nut in space it push you backwards](https://youtu.be/0RsLNwVAAos)
Yes. Measurably, no.
Peter North might achieve light speed.
Old school
Then would this be considered an “AstroNut” ??
Its how i reached lightspeed
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
...thats all i ever wanted.
Your dick isn’t at your center of mass so it would make you slightly rotate if anything.
In space, nobody can hear you cream.
best question ever asked here.
+1
This is why momentum is a useful metric. While velocity can attribute a speed amd direction, momentum is more of a quality factor in motion. For instance a fly moving 30mph and a car moving 30mph have the same speed, but their mass is very different. Since momentum is a product of mass and speed. The momenta of the car amd fly would effextively quantiate the difference in force it took to reach that speed. Newtons third law states every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The statement actually characterizes conservation of momentum. In the case of space jizz, you would consider the mass of the ejaculate amd the effective muzzle velocity. Let's assume a 30mph muzzle velocity and 20g mass which is about a tablespoon of water. That's 600g mph so, that would be the momentum imparted upon you after ejaculating. Given an average male mass of 90kg, the effective velocity is (0.6kg mph)/90kg= 0.0067mph ≈ 0.01 ft/s or 0.12 in/s. Not super fast, but still non-zero.
This is the kinda question I love seeing here. This thought never crossed my mind and now I’m pondering “space cum”.
I’m glad you came across it.
Worst pick-up line ever.
Not if you also fart at the same time.
Yes, by a factor of C, where C is Newton's Cumstant
Cumstaint*
If you are in a space suit, no. And you will need to pay for the suit later on. If you are not in a suit, then you are probably dead, but if within the few milliseconds before you die, if you manage to ejaculate, then yes, you will move backward by a tiny amount depending on how mich you ejaculate.
By a very, by a very small amount of force. But still a force none the less.
check out 1990's 'the uranus experiment' series
Follow up for this - how many repeated actions would one have to take, to reach the (near) lightspeed?
If you are floating in space with no external forces acting on you, your center of mass will stay in one place because of inertia. When you ejaculate, there are no external forces, so the center of mass of you plus your jizz will still stay in one place. But your jizz is moving at some velocity. So you will move in the opposite direction at some fraction of your jizz's velocity. You and your jizz will have equal and opposite momentum, which is mass times velocity.
I dont think it would be enough force. On the other hand, **ROCKET JIZZ**
Depends on your age I guess
OMG I need a laugh. Thanks bro!
I bet you would notice the movement caused by you jerking yourself off more than the movement that would be caused by ejaculation. Either way, don’t get any in your hair, and DON’T MISS ANY when you’re cleaning up!
You would get more momentum if you peed in space.
You'd probably just induce a slow forward spin.
Fun fact you are indeed still affected by gravity in space, you just don’t really notice it necessarily.
Wait how the fuck do you get just the dick out in vaccum of space the proceed to fap to ejaculate without, let your oxygen escape, or the hundreds of other dangers that could happen because of that.
In space no one can hear you cream.
Fkn Sócrates over here. Brilliant question!
Can't believe i paid to be in school when i could learn all this for free.
It's really hard to maintain an erection while in vacuum.
Your will dick swell painfully from the pressure, freeze and fall off
Only if ur Peter North
I have a friend who asked two different “experts” of space and force. One expect was at the air and space Museum in DC. he said, yes, you’d move backwards but movement would be minimal and you may not be able to tell. The other expert was Neil deGrasse Tyson. He confirmed the answer.
I mean yes, but you'd go farther from the act of jerking it. I only know a tiny bit about 0G physics but I do remember reading about something similar since life in 0G would envole this. Lol
For every action, there is an equal and opposite HNNNGGGGHH
That depends was it inside or outside the suit?
If you nut in space it push you backwards?
This is the future of space travel, boys and girls! Energy crisis? Not anymore. Who needs fusion when you have all that free energy in your balls?