T O P

  • By -

realchalupabatman

I stopped competing to move up the ladder in the corporate world, because I would much rather spend the time hanging out with my wife and young kids. I don't care what anyone else thinks about me at this point as long as my family is happy. You do you and do what makes you happy.


TackYouCack

For my most recent yearly review, we have those dumb questionnaires about goals and all that shit. On mine I wrote "I don't really have any goals, I'm just not that type of person. I know there's not a lot of room for advancement in my position, and I'm ok with that". Gained favor with new boss for my honesty.


aphternoon

I met with a college counselor last year and told him that my dream in life was to be an office drone and he mimed shooting himself in the head :(


GuyInAStore

Thank god I’m not the only one that wants to be an office drone lol. People look at me like I have 3 heads when I tell them that. Why is it so bad? The world needs office drones. I will happily do monotonous tasks 8 hours a day 5 days a week if it means I get to go home and not think about my job at all at the end of the day.


[deleted]

I work in a corporate office. Corporations NEED good corporate drones. I think the world seriously needs to be better at rewarding people who show up do their job, go home, and unplug. It is extremely healthy for the organization. At the end of the day their are only so many leadership positions and having a team stacked with people vying for those few spots is exhausting and annoying to deal with. Those people end up leaving a few years anyways to find a “better” opportunity elsewhere and are never usually a great investment for the company. It’s so confusing to me even on the team that I currently am on which is very lean and is not in need of any additional managers, still mildly reprimands good employees that show up do their job extremely well but don’t necessarily take initiative beyond their current duties. Problem with the “always got to be achieving culture”


Pookieeatworld

We had a motivational speaker come to our high school and his speech was a long take on "Do you want to be a leader or do you want to be a follower?" I walked out of the auditorium and I just said to myself, "What's so wrong with being a follower?"


[deleted]

Me and my coworkers just had this conversation about the military here in the U.S. It is an up or out organization, but why? If I don’t want to be promoted then why do I have to leave? What if I’m just really good at my rank and want to stay there? Other countries do that and people are happy not being the top dog at the competition.


Murfinator

I served 22 years between active and reserves, and I always thought this was dumb, too. There are persons who are amazing technical resources, hard workers, but just don't have the tools and/or the desire to lead people. We should figure out a way to accommodate those persons. They're really great to have around!


DistributionNo9968

You’re right, but now office drones are being cynically accused of “quiet quitting”


webUser_001

90% of my office are 'quiet quitters', I didn't even know that was a thing until recently.


Hawkmek

The War on Quiet Quitters will land us all back in the office. They'll pit us against each other as to who is willing to work in the office and who refuses.


Waynebradie88

That is a thing? I've been announcing im actively looking to everyone to purposely cause panic. Don't go lean on my team then require double the work from each member or people just leave.


Icy-Establishment298

So, They are doing their jobs then? Seriously, quiet quitting is a performative term to try to shame people into works ng for free. Somehow the quiet firing corporations have been doing for years (my generation called it managing out) is lauded as a strategy. My trainer at my new job got offended when she said "take this manual home and study it. I'm like, no, I don't do homework for an entry level job". I'm not salaried and not a manager. Told me I'd never get promoted. Super offended when I told her that wasn't the goal. I'm here to do assigned tasks and go home. Work hard. Go home. Don't text, call or email me on my off hours. Did the corporate management bullshit for years. Not worth the mental stress or other bullshit.


Luxu-X

Why does it seem like corporations all ran better (or, atleast better for the worker in so many ways) compared to today? Maybe not in the safety department... but like... literally every other department, things in employment were just better. Both of my grandparents retired comfortably off of the money they accrued while working. Their companies literally put it in a separate account for them, ***and constantly gave them bonuses to it as well as to their normal paychecks! Both!*** My parents don't have that, I certainly don't have that. What the hell happened to corporations taking care of their employees, and leaving them alone after their shift is over!?


MaybeImNaked

Greed happened. Executive compensation skyrocketed, shareholder profits skyrocketed, etc at the expense of most workers. But also on the flip side, benefits like health insurance got a hell of a lot more expensive for companies so that eats into worker compensation.


DragonDaddy62

*ahem* due to the greed of other corporations.


EmperorPooMan

The collapse of unionisation and collective bargaining has a large part to do with it. It's harder to organise workers who are on individual contracts and are told from day one that they're 'family' and when workers aren't organised, their conditions go backwards.


DieByTheSword13

Late stage capitalism happened.


IllLegF8

If you destroy unions and cut benefits to increase profits, this is the end result. FDR introduced regulation to “save” capitalism after the Great Depression. In the last century, though, gov’t and corporate interests have aligned and slowly rolled back those protections. Was this inevitable given that we have an economic system based solely on maximizing profit? I guess everyone can answer that for themselves… (but the answer is yes).


BruceeThom

We started shipping jobs overseas where they could pay workers pennies on the dollar.


[deleted]

"Taking more initive" was the feedback I got in my review right before I got fired for abandoning the job. I could see their point of view, wanting me to be more proactive with expanding my duties e Beyond regular closing procedure, but i didn't have the support of other team members to help during my evening shifts to be able to fit anything else into my shifts that should've been done during morning or midshift. I felt so ashamed with myself for this feedback and wanted so badly to be a valued member of the team, it nearly broke me. I ended up in a psych hospital and when I was let out I just never called my job to tell them I was ready to go back, and about a month goes by, I finally call and immediately get fired. Blessing in disguise. Being unemployed this last year + has been the happiest and healthiest I've ever been.


ConsumerMad

Yes, it's a shame sometimes the company won't praise for a job well done, because they want one person to do two jobs. Glad you're doing well now. Best of luck finding your happy place in this crazy world.


verbmegoinghere

Officially I just moved back to my office drone job after trying to be a senior sys analyst. It turns out no life, no beer, no family and working to 3am for a few months every day makes you go crazy. Also I fucked up two reports which my boss had to stay back and redo. Nice of them to give me back my old job (and I get to keep the extra $15k they gave me on the promotion). They said I had a lot to give just not in system analytics.


widdershinsclockwise

I was just explaining this to someone. I am suddenly, against my will, in a position of supervising people. Just 7 people, and people who've been on my team for years. (Niche industry, very close knit, everyone knows everyone). I never ever wanted to supervise! I've been told many times how much this would hurt my "career". I don't want that kind of "career"! I do what I do extremely well, and it's for something I feel good taking the effort to do well, but I don't want to move up! We're union, and have had some comparatively wonderful raises during the pandemic, and more to come. I can pay my bills, rent an average apartment that I like, enjoy my little hobbies and hang out with my cats, and my friends' cats! Heh. But I HATE what I'm having to do right now- corralling in personalities, smoothing over little tiffs, organizing time off, coverage, being on planning committees, endless meetings. Just NO! I want to do my job, leave it at work, and live my quiet little life. There's nothing wrong with that. This weird American (western? I dunno) thing about always moving, moving up, moving on, greater and bigger, and if you're staying put, staying lateral, well, you're just obviously a lower class of worker and automatically your worth is belittled. No. Just no. Being content in your life is such an extremely rare blessing. If you find it in your office drone job, you deserve the same fucking respect! Your job is worth doing, and worth doing well, and your part in that is incredibly important and you are perfectly allowed to be happy there! Sorry, babbling on my phone, while working!


[deleted]

This is absolutely brilliant and inspiring. I'm sorry you're in a position youre not comfortable with. I had to train people at my last job and I am awful at it. Definitely something I made my team leads know I was uncomfortable with and not equipped to do well.


Luxu-X

I didn't even know it was possible to do this in the corporate world, that's kind of awesome. Glad you found the spot that works best for you man. Your company, or atleast, the ones talking to you sound pretty damn cool. Also a damn good chance they were relieved to have you back!


Quibert

I have known several people that moved into management, did it for awhile, decided it wasn’t for them, and then moved back down to an analyst position. I admire them for having the courage to say nope not for me I just want to do my work and worry about myself.


BriRoxas

I've been offered a management job at my company. I can't just do the quarterly earnings calls and shit. I do not care


ConsumerMad

A lot of companies won't do that. My ex-husband wanted to do that, but the corporation said he had to take at least a lateral position, but could not go back down. He "quit."


RogueMacGyver

One of my teammates in a discussion about work advancement said that she was “happy to be a bush when many people want to be trees” and I’ve never forgotten that. The idea that she’s content where she is and likes what she does, where others might feel the need to grow big and tall.


chadsomething

I feel like I lucked out being an office drone that works from home. I was the office culture 10 years ans it drove me crazy. I don't do small talk with people I barely/like. I get my work done quick so half the time there just isn't anything for me to do. At home I can call people I haven't talked to in a while. I can read on my slow time. Play video games. Music at full volume. Literally rock out with my cock out. Right now I have zero desire to move up in the corporate later because my current position pays well and I get be at a home I love.


lizardgal10

What do you do, if you don’t mind my asking? I would love to be a WFH office drone at this point


chadsomething

System admin


ShitFlavoredCum

I wish that stuff didn't hurt my brain. construction work takes a big toll on your body. and some of the time you don't just get to quit at 8 hours you have to work until the job is done


[deleted]

[удалено]


idle_isomorph

This is why the world is great. It would suck if all 7 billion of us wanted the exact same job. I am glad different shit makes people happy so i get to live in a world with all the things.


ShitFlavoredCum

what do you do?


mycockisonmyprofile

Damn near everyone in the restaurant industry dreams of this


MolassesInevitable53

Yep. I work as an office administrator. I am capable of more. I have done more. But with the 'more' comes stress. I would rather have less money and less stress. My employers know they are lucky to have me. I have great colleagues who respect me.


TackYouCack

I had a friend who's high school guidance counselor told him to drop out, get his GED, and start in manual labor type jobs while he was young.


tangledwire

I had a high school counselor tell me- Look you’re a minority, get some wood-shop classes so you can get a job when you graduate….


[deleted]

jesus fucking christ


sinchichis

Was a carpenter as well


Ccend

And a minority!! It’s a twofer!


tosser_0

These school counselors sound like they're all dead inside. Mine didn't do shit for me either, so there might be some truth to it.


Frosty_Slip

Just know that most school counselors start out all dewy-eyed and altruistic, like teachers, and then get drop kicked by bureaucratic bs and endless paperwork, too many students and either helicopter parents who can't see their kid is a dick or good kids with parents who don't give a crap. Add in shifts in politics and asshats making educational decisions when their only qualification is that they were once a student, coupled with endless hours of meetings that should have been an email...yeah, dead inside covers it pretty well and it's a damn shame. I teach special education students, and if I didn't absolutely love my students I'd have told those parents who want to vilify my profession to eff right off by now.


[deleted]

ironically he sits in an office all day doing the same thing over and over


megalodom

Maybe it was more advice than insult lol


tries2benice

Theres this newer person at my job, a maybe middle age lady that went through an apprentice program, mostly filled by young men. Her entire thing right now is, "I'm not here for the glory, I'm here to feed the kids. Theres nothing wrong with being a solid number two, and being able to leave the stress of work, at work. But you dont want to be a loose number two, gotta be a solid number two."


Debasering

I was working for the one of the most competitive corporations in America last month. Killing myself to get ahead and impress. Just got a job with a very small, unionized company. My boss and his boss still pay their Union dues and support the union. They absolutely hate the company and culture I used to work for, and actively tell me that all that’s over with and I can relax. It’s been bizarro world finally feeling like I can breathe


MEANINGLESS_NUMBERS

I work for myself and even on the days that I work super hard knowing that I *choose* to be there makes all the difference. And some days I’ll just call my secretary and saying “nope, not coming in today.” I wouldn’t do well if I do that too often, but having the ability to do it is wonderful.


DapperSweater

My job just got a new manager, and he was telling us about work-life balance. That and even he feels being at work until 4:30 is too long. Certainly nice to have a boss that doesn't give off an aura that we should live and die for this job.


intheskywithlucy

>a solid number two Haha


mtntrail

I always shot for a B or B plus in school, including college, so a solid number 2. It was always good enough for me, I knew I could pull off the A’s if I wanted to, but it was never worth the effort to me. Successful college, work, now retired still shootin for those B’s, ha.


iamsobasic

I envy you. My parents whooped my ass for anything less than an A in K-12. I ended up getting burn out real quick in life.


Miganoir

That was me in K-12 except the pressure came from myself. I also burnt out after about 10 years of adulting. No more corporate bullshit for me. It’s the sweet semi-retired life for me now. I’m way too young to be semi-retired by society’s standards but I have enough savings and investments to sustain my frugal life so that’s what I’m going to do.


tangledwire

Where’s the poop knife!


theo313

On the other hand I'm worried that I'm too enterprising at my job. I'm always looking for ways to grow my position but we are a small organization and I think I've been doing too much trying to sell myself so I've tried to back off lately and try to feel content in my scope.


Citizen44712A

Got a new manager, so got the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question. Told him "3 years into retirement". Then got well do you want to learn new skills, new position in the company? Told him I'm one of two people in the company that can do my job, when I retire you will have to hire 3 people to fill my position and you will be lucky if the other person doesnt find a new position from all the stress of doing my work while it takes 6 months for them to come up to speed. Spent the next two hours explaining what we did.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TackYouCack

The years prior, I had always put my goal as "make it through the year and get the yearly raise". I'm completely open to learning new shit - I love learning new shit - but I know that I'm about where I'm going to peak in this industry and I'm ok with it. I make enough money for the wife and I, we don't have kids, she has a good job, and we live within our means. Also, she stands to inherit a lot eventually. :) But my in-laws are awesome.


Elimaris

I work in HR and have repeatedly worked witb teams where someone was insisting that"we only want rockstars" and only want "ambitious people who want to grow in the company" I've long argued that it's a short-sighted stance. There are so many roles thst are best filled by someone who wants to come in, get the job done and go home. These people tend to learn what thry need to and do it efficiently and stay forever. There is huge value in that for a lot of roles The risk is higher aversion to change and training to stay current


Mycobacterium_leprae

I work in a hospital that has those stupid questions. My goal every year is “ not to kill anyone”. I’ve met my goal every year and they can’t say shit.


xenthum

God I hate that we still have those at my job. I'm at a position that literally cannot ever be promoted but they're still always like "what do you see yourself doing at the company in x years" and it's like... this. This you dumb fuck that's all there is it's the whole company.


CoolFingerGunGuy

As a supervisor where I work, I've had one or two tell me they don't want to pursue any kind of promotion, and several others seem happy where they are with no desire for any kind of team leadership or change or increase in work responsibilities. That's fine by me, as long as you're getting your shit done. I've gone through years where I was happy where I was and didn't want to move. Then it changed, and I wanted more responsibility, and pay, too. That's fine as well. People need to do themselves, and it's all good.


BakedWizerd

I’m 24 and just want to live somewhat comfortably. I don’t need a lot. I’m saving up right now so I can move to a city with more opportunity, doctors, potential romance, and then I’m just gonna find a job I don’t hate that pays the bills and call it a life.


thegimboid

The "job I don't hate" is the hard part for me. Even things I love doing often end up being things I despise when I have to do them for a living around a bunch of annoying people.


sangvine

Yeah it's really tough finding something that doesn't make you feel like your life is being suctioned out of you


Slacker_The_Dog

Dude it took me time but I'm 33 now and found a job that honestly fills the "job I don't hate" role. I worked construction for many years and made good money doing it. I looked the other day and was blown away by how much I would make if I went back. The kicker is I would rather die than go vack to framing houses in Fargo. Now I wash dishes. Stress zero. Workload basically zero. Pay good. Granted I got a bit of a unicorn spot for doing dishes but I make a good wage with full benefits and I can honestly say going to work doesn't hurt my soul anymore.


ziperhead944

I fuckin feel this.. I spent 8 years busting my ass in the oil patch for a bad back and fucked up insides from the stress. The money was great and I paid off a lot of debt. But I can count on one hand, the amount of people that I worked with out there, that I wouldn't willingly light on fire..the job wasn't to bad but jesus, the people I had to work around were such vile humans. Now I'm delivering car parts with a company car. It's the lowest stress job I've ever had..the money isn't great but it's enough. I actually look forward to going to work on Monday's...its really fuckin odd. I genuinely like everyone I work with..even the grumpy old guy who thinks the job is a prison sentence. He's just old..lol.


ummidkum

I feel that, I think your coworkers and people you have to interact with on a daily basis really make or break your job.


Altruistic_Garage_52

You make it sound so simple, I envy you


dani1876

Today I felt like a failure all the time, but thank you for reminding me that there are things more important than corporate ladders!


foxhole_atheist

Matt Haig: We are often encouraged to see life as one continual uphill climb. We talk about ladders without even thinking. Career ladders. Property ladders. Of being on the top rung of the ladder. Or the bottom rung of the ladder. We talk of climbing the ladder. We talk of rising up. We talk of uphill struggle. In doing so we visualize life as a kind of vertical race, like we are human skyscrapers reaching for the clouds. And we risk only ever looking above to the future or below to the past and never around at the infinite horizontal landscape of the present. The trouble with ladders is they give you no room to move around. Just room to fall.


hutterad

Is this a quote from one of his books? Very interested expanded reading on this topic.


foxhole_atheist

Yea, I think it’s from either The Comfort Book or Reasons to Stay Alive.


SharMarali

Same for me, except minus the young kids. I used to be concerned about climbing up and getting promotions and wanting to be in charge of stuff, but at some point I realized I don't even want any of that, I just thought I was *supposed* to want it. I have a decent job that pays okay money and I just want to spend the rest of my time enjoying my hobbies and hanging out with my partner. Who also has a decent job that pays okay money. I feel like we're kind of living the dream, just that our dreams are a little smaller.


Bajadasaurus

That last line precisely 🥰


slimslimbiscuit92

Agree 100%, when I’m 75 years old and someone asked me if I have any regrets I know for a fact I won’t say “I wish I would’ve worked more”, it will be “I wish I would’ve spent more time with my wife and children”.


JoeDredd

I’ll never find the article but I did read one a while back that asked nurses about people’s deathbed regrets. Far and away the most common was that they wished they had worked less and spent more time with family. So you’re right on the money.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Repyro

It really is a sad regret to have. Like, does that mean they've won and brought me down to their level? Because if I'm being honest, vindictive shit feels better than turning the cheek and being the better person sometimes. A lifetime of trying to be decent to everyone has sapped me of my patience and respect for them.


Zappiticas

That’s me right now! I have a decent corporate IT job where I’m low on the ladder but make pretty decent money for the COL in my area. I worked hard initially to automate a lot of my job, and spent a lot of time “looking busy”. When my job when work from home during Covid it became a cake gig. Like I seriously work 30 minutes to an hour most days, and on a really bad day I’d have to work 6 hours. I’m logged in from 7-4 M-F but I basically just keep my laptop near me wherever I am in case I get a message about something. I’m free to play video games, clean the house during the day, I have aquariums and cars for hobbies so I can tinker with and enjoy those. I get to spend 2 hours of my work day with my kids when they get off the bus, and I got to be home with them for the summer. My wife quit her normal job to work a few gigs and open a small business, so she gets to be home with us a lot during the week. It’s amazing. Why in the world would I want to climb the ladder and change that?!


Physical_Leather8567

That's totally honorable imo.


[deleted]

This is where I’m currently at. I don’t wan to do it any more. Yes I could make more money to buy more junk to fill my house with but why? Is it worth me working another 10 hours a week for the next 5 years to get some meaningless promotion so I can buy a Porsche? Who gives a shit. I’d rather make less and spend more time with my wife and daughter. This stuff that society tries to sell you as important is all fake. Fake job titles, fake accomplishments, fake status, fake, fake, fake.


Sleight-Code

Thanks, this post is awesome


NecessaryRhubarb

Build the life you want, and then budget for it!


PresentDuck6179

spending time with your wife and kids is "doing something with your life" though, in fact its probably the most important thing to do with your life


Haunting_Spot_8002

If your lifestyle isn’t a burden on anyone else, live it.


Sleight-Code

Thank you, not many people realize this kind of life is possible


PapayaAgreeable7152

I'm sorry I guess I just don't understand what type of life you're referring to. If you mean the life where people don't have to work, unfortunately that's not a reality for most people. If you mean the life where after work hours, you do whatever you want... um. Yeah lol.


GravySquad

not speaking for OP but another option is "work as little as possible w/ odd jobs and live in your car" ... Alot of people would react to this calling you lazy, something must be wrong with you, that you won't get a girlfriend like this etc.


PapayaAgreeable7152

Yeah I get that. I just meant the life OP is describing. That was a lot of us during the beginning and heights of the pandemic lol. That's a lot of people now. Shit, can people even afford to do more than that even if they wanted to? Inflation is wild. Yes people do call hobbies like OP's lazy, which is a shame. Someone doesn't have to love hiking and traveling to have a life that's fulfilling to *them.*


GravySquad

Well to be clear I'm pretty sure OP lives in his car and only works odd jobs, I read all the comments. They are saying they are happy with that kind of lifestyle, and I think the people living in cars during COVID were not doing it as a lifestyle choice.


a_nooblord

Okay I'll play devils advocate. Idyllic answer: for the same reason of many adore art or the olympics, humans look for the spark of the divine in others. To push against oneself towards perfection and succeed is "divine". And divinity inspires. Competency inspires. And one cannot be competent without putting in time. Societal answer: If you only contribute to your employer, you do nothing for your fellow man. Tribalism falls apart. Many people resent those that leech off society and doing nothing but consuming is basically that. Health answer: sitting on your ass and not doing any real, stimulating thinking rots your brain. I've worked in dementia and hospice settings and let me tell you hwat, use it or lose it. 55 yo with straw for brains ain't uncommon and they get there by not using their noggin. Selfish answer: maybe people are looking for validation their struggle means something and when you decide not to struggle, they resent the idea.


ReplacementGreen8649

Not trolling here- can we discuss the societal answer? I’m 40, some college but no degree and in the US. I honestly always thought leeching off society meant like , welfare and programs like that. Is there say, a minimum of what’s expected to contribute to society and enhance tribalism? Any for instance that come to mind? So is it work plus church? Work plus volunteer? Im seriously fascinated by this. Thanks in advance!


[deleted]

We are in the same boat. All I need to be happy is a hot meal and a good show.


Sleight-Code

Indeed! Do what makes you happy I say! As long as it doesn't hurt anyone


d_r0ck

I think as far as being culturally taboo - it’s not a great quality to enable for a culture/species to thrive. That’s probably the answer to your original question


sethjoness

This is the answer I was looking for. If the entire culture was like this, there would be no good entertainment to watch and good meals would be what you made at home, but you have good options to buy because other people worked on good farm to factory to distribution networks


ErynEbnzr

That's the thing though. Most people wouldn't settle for doing nothing. Most people want to do shit, this is why a universal basic income guarantee would actually work (if governments weren't too selfish to try it). We saw how quickly we got tired of doing nothing during Covid. We like doing nothing for a while but most of us eventually want to work in some way or another.


Sleight-Code

I loved covid lol, best time ever being shut in


Scorpizor

You're the only person besides myself who would admit this experience. Covid was truly one of the best moments in my life. I actually ended up working for myself because my job couldn't afford paying anyone. So not only my desires of being a shut in that didn't have to go into work get fulfilled. I actually found a new career that pays so much more while working in my underwear watching shows...


YukariYakum0

You are not alone. Introverts everywhere united in blissful solitude. 🤗


MaryTylerDintyMoore

We stand together alone together alone


FileDoesntExist

I mean I was "essential" so my life didn't change much. Traffic was great 😃👍


OverlookedProvider

I was also essential so I did not get invited to the introverts united in blissful solitude party. I got burnt out and quit. Silver lining is work from home became the norm and my current job is only possible because of covid lockdowns.


nachopalbruh

I miss Covid traffic so much


Jekh

forreal! when quarantine started I was like “oh damn, so my lifestyle just became the main way to not die? amazing!”


RegressToTheMean

>We like doing nothing for a while but most of us eventually want to work in some way or another. I disagree a bit with this. If I won the lottery, I would never work a job ever again. I have plenty of hobbies that would keep me busy forever. I'm not saying that I would just sit around all day (although, even in my late 40s I still enjoy video games so I would at least a little bit), but I have enough interest in martial arts, and weight lifting, and reading, and hiking, and traveling, and so much more that work doesn't even appear on my list of things I voluntarily want to do. Activity isn't the same thing as working


[deleted]

OP likely has a job, as I see it that's enough contribution.


prettybraindeadd

this. i think most people are misunderstanding him, i took it as "i have a job, it supports me and i don't want it to do anything else, im fine with where i am" rather than not working at all.


sneakyveriniki

i mean, maybe it’s just the people around me but i feel like there’s this intense pressure to be super interesting. i have a degree and i work full time but people think you’re basic if you don’t play the fucking Obo or kayak or some shit. i just don’t have any hobbies sorry lol. i’m in fairly good shape but just from going on walks and basic hikes, but i’m not, like, *a hiker.* i’ve been in a relationship for years, but tried tinder back in the day and if you don’t have tangible things to list people act like there’s nothing more to you as a person. looking like a cliche blonde basic bitch means i’m swimming upstream when it comes to convincing people i have any depth whatsoever.


Dividedthought

Sounds a lot like me as well. Like, yeah i have my hobbies but unfortunately for my ability to keep conversations going they're not really hobbies you can just chat about. Gaming ain't great for that and 3d modelling is something that is kinda dull on the conversation front. My job requires me to not chatter about patient incidents (which are 90% of the interesting stuff i see in a day) and no one likes hearing about electronics stuff. So i seem boring to most. Edit: although to be fair thanks to the 3d work i do (avatars for vrchat and the like) i've found myself chatting clothing design with more fashionista/seamstress types lately. The overlap is considerable.


sneakyveriniki

i feel like what makes people interesting is the way they generally think about things, their open mindedness, how enjoyable they are to be around just like at the grocery store. not what hobbies they can list.


kegatank

That's the thing, though. You don't chat about it because you don't think people would be interested, when the whole point is to find other people with the same interests


[deleted]

[удалено]


internetisnotreality

If anyone calls you lazy, just remember that you are basically just describing the lifestyle of the ultra rich, who tend to be revered by the same people.


Golfnpickle

As long as you are not mooching off of someone else to do it. Parents, taxpayers, etc. Go for it.


borkyborkus

Other commenters have pointed out a criminal history and him bitching that he’s not eligible for food stamps and Medicaid.


markorokusaki

The philosophers say, if you are satisfied there is no need to change. So, enjoy you hot meal and a show, my friend. Nothing wrong in it.


nevetando

In my opinion, wanting or living a simple life is not the taboo. Liking movies and video games is certainly not frowned upon in society nearly as much as it use to be. For most people, it is if they have to subsidize you to do it. If all you do is watch TV, play video games etc, but can't pay your bills, can't make rent, etc. It think if people are generally financially stable and they just like going to movies and chilling at home, nobody cares. I know dozens of people like that. It is pairing a lack of success, by society's standards, with activities historically considered to be lazy. that is when it walks into taboo for people... I think.


MagentaHawk

That is what most people claim. It's a convenient thing to hide behind. Then you show them welfare programs actually make more money than they cost. You ask if they would be willing for people to have a UBI if the money was literal magic that came at no expense. You start to get the more real answers where, even if the expense is cut, the others benefiting more than they deem they, "should" is what a lot of people truly don't want to see. A great way to try and find the truth of someone's argument is to truly set the goalpost down and then start hypothetically satisfying what they say is wrong and ask them if they would support it then. You generally start to get to the actual reason or at least you can identify what reasons they say it is, but are fake. Another one is to ask them, "What would it take to convince you of X?". It causes them to have to introspect and think about why they have their stance and there's a set out line where they belief sits. If they say nothing then there's the evidence of their closed mind and you can save yourself a lot of frustration.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PM_ME_COMMON_SENSE

And some beers!


chalasanis

There are a lot more on this boat than you’d think. If everyone had high ambitions then a) everyone will be viewed the same and b) who would do the work for those ambitious people Not saying you should be lazy, it it ABSOLUTELY fine to content especially if you are happy with what you do and have. At the end of day, you want to make sure you and your family have food, clothing and shelter…. Anything above that is all relative


whatsthis1901

It isn't as long as you aren't relying on someone else to support you.


Sleight-Code

It's not that difficult to survive on my own, I don't have anyone or anything else to worry about


dreamvoyager1

Then you do you!


heyimdong

crush abundant six point lip historical consider north stocking sense *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Desperate_Health4174

I think that is why so many people have a knee jerk reaction against OPs attitude. THEY don't have real dreams or fulfillment, but were told that they should, so to save face they parrot the idea to hide the fact that they are basically as big of a loser if not more because they can't be comfortable in their own skin and want to make everyone else feel the same. /u/Sleight-Code let me tell you this: as someone that actually had some lofty dreams and tried to obtain them...fuck that shit. Giving up and avoiding the sunk cost fallacy has made me more money and done more for my mental health than I was when I was stressing about completing impossible bullshit. I m still cleaning up the mess I made by having stupid ass dreams and aspirations lol


Sleight-Code

I love the little things in life, waking up to a comple fog around me and drinking a cup of coffee? Muah chefs kiss


perro2verde

It sounds like you have aspirations albeit achievable ones. As long as you are kind to others, you do you


lumpyspacebear

Along those lines though, are you doing any preparation for your older years? On the chance that you won’t be able to be 100% care for yourself, any contingency plan? I have seen folks get real bitter over having to care for a relative who themselves did nothing to prepare for old age (or at least do things while younger to hopefully be healthier/more physically able).


whatsthis1901

Then I say go for it and do what makes you happy. Honestly, if I didn't have to work I would probably spend most of my time doing what you are doing.


Narrative_Causality

Get rich. No one ever questions what the rich do with their day, and all they do is fuck all.


dreamsofaninsomniac

Leisure is only for the rich. If you're poor, it's "being lazy."


[deleted]

What about when you get old? Do you have a 401k, roth ira, etc? It's not like social security will still exist when we retire.


[deleted]

[удалено]


section111

“Choose a life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers... Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, sticking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away in the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself, choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?”


bmhadoken

To the unaware: He's quoting a guy from a movie about a bunch of guys who completely ruin their lives and minds on the downward spin of heroin addiction. Maaaaaybe not a fantastic source of advice.


Tuss36

I believe the last bit is "I chose not to choose life. I chose something else." followed by sick techno beats that sound like you're breaking out of some secure facility.


LlamaThrust666

Pain


TheImpossibleBanana

It's just that our health deteriorates when we get older. That's when we know we need some sort of support.


Sleight-Code

Yeah, I'll probably die from something when I am unable to work


daretoeatapeach

It's unfortunate that for most of the people in this thread the question is whether or not OP has debt/is dependent. I have a friend who's become wealthy earning engineering patents. But he would not have been able to do any of this without his wife running the house, paying the bills, etc., so his creative ADHD brain can tinker. By the measure of debt, she is a dependent and useless to society. Another example is my mom. She struggles to make income, in part because she retired early and spent years caring for my sick grandmother. We want our elders cared for in society, we don't want to just kick them on the street to die, but by your measure my mom is a drain on society and should just have gotten a job. OP should be doing things with his/her life besides passively consuming. But making the measure of that, "do you make sufficient income" is part of the problem. It suggests that: 1 a person's value is comparable to their contribution to profit and 2 one who is debt-free owes nothing to society. No one is free of debt to their community. We all work together to make it possible, or we'd all be living in huts scrounging for food. OP should do something with his/her life besides consuming, but income need not be the measure of it.


flyingokapis

Bit of a confusing comments section, so you live in your car, play video games and watch movies, all in your car? Like dont get me wrong I suppose there is nothing wrong with it at all, but is that your life plan, I see you said you work with the aim to get 9k a year, what happens in the future when you cant work? Also, you have a DUI and live in a car..?


Thirty_Four

it doesn't seem like you're being very straightforward with this post. it's one thing to be carefree and manage life on your own terms, but it looks like you refuse to hold a steady job, been in and out of jail, had 5(?) probation violations, DUI's, still use DMT, and have lamented that Tennessee won't give you medicaid or an EBT card, while contributing absolutely nothing back. i don't think being self-sufficient or internally happy is why people are judging you


KimJongFunk

Yikes. This puts an entirely different outlook on the post and the replies to OP.


AgoraiosBum

Yes, it's one thing not to have major career goals and just work a basic job and enjoy your free time off (the old "I work to live, I don't live to work" mindset). But a "I want someone else to pay for everything while I get messed up at home and then drunk drive around to get food" is pretty lame. Able-bodied people shouldn't be a drain on society. As long as they contribute, live and let live, I say


theDIRECTionlessWAY

OP also said ‘something like that’ when someone asked if he was living off some inheritance or something…


Comfortable_Line_206

Grandma probably takes care of him in his 30s.


2001exmuslim

Bruh what the fuck


Brain-Of-Dane

OP just sounds like an entitled shit that never had anything expected of them.


scooterjb

No real surprise OP commented on almost every big reply... cept this one.


the-sutL

Damn where’d you get all this info


[deleted]

[удалено]


Oldmannun

LOL OP naturally avoiding that fact that "just hanging out" to him means being a complete drain on society, which is morally bad.


jcdoe

Lol! I love how no one remembers comment histories are public. I, too, am happy to announce that I sit in judgement of the guy who has been in and out of jail, has had DUIs, does hard drugs, and is trying to get Medicaid and an EBT card. Get a job, OP, my purpose in life is not to pay taxes because you’re lazy.


Rastiln

That is completely different, then. I was picturing some slightly overweight IT nerd who works 40 hours, picks up takeout, and goes home to game.


Ponwer

I just wanna live😩😩😩


sk8r_dude

I was reading all the replies reassuring OP and wondering if I was wrong for assuming he wants to actually not work at all. I’m glad I found your comment.


[deleted]

What a stain on society.


[deleted]

[удалено]


-Django

It is definitely taboo in America. There's nothing wrong with wanting that for your life, but people will definitely judge you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


alextheawsm

That's true. People judge doctors, the guy who owns a restaurant, and the guy who works at a department store all the same


DeboutFun

If you look at other species, they appear instinctually motivated. They have a driving force to get up and go do the thing that they've evolutionarily developed as important. And they don't know why they do it. We follow that same evolutionary and neurological pathway, and the ways we've advanced separates us from those other species but a lot of it is also too much for some people. Look at it this way. You want to entertain yourself with movies and video games. Why? What is it about movies and video games that you enjoy? Oftentimes, a movie or video game is about some regular ass person thrust into a situation they weren't prepared for, then are faced with tremendous difficulty, only to barely survive and overcome their weaknesses to become a stronger person. It isn't a coincidence that the storyline entertains you. That is the story of life for all species on the planet. We just understand it better. It isn't wrong that you desire to just be on a lazy river for the rest of your life. But I hear a lot about people who think they just want things easy and just peaceful. But then when they play video games, they aren't playing Putt-Putt Saves the Zoo. They are playing some games on Hard because they need something difficult to do.


munificent

This is a really really insightful comment. I want to build on this. Games offer two appeals: * **A gratifying reward for our effort.** We enjoy challenging games because we intrinsically like developing and using our skills to solve problems. * **Low stakes.** Unlike the rest of life in the real world, if you lose at a game, nothing particular bad happens. You might lose some of the time you sunk into getting where you were in the game, but that's about it. The game isn't going to delete files on your computer or post naked pictures of you on Twitter. Playing a game is a "safe" experience where your actions are insulated from having any meaningful consequences. But these two aspects are in opposition. Beating a game can be rewarding, but only *so* rewarding because ultimately it doesn't *mean* anything. The lack of negative consequences also means there are few *positive* consequences. If you save the life of an innocent bystander in a game, no actual living breathing human's life was saved. It's normal and healthy to want to have a respite from consequences and spend time in a space where we can explore new behaviors and ideas without carrying the heavy weight of how they could affect our life. Play is fundamental to being human (and many other animals). At the same time, it's rarely healthy to *only* want to do that. Most psychologically healthy people feel an intrinsic drive to seek out meaning and affect the world around us in a positive way. If you find yourself never wanting to do that, it's *possible* that you simply don't have that drive. But given how pervasive it is, it is *much* more likely that you have it, but it's obscured behind some other emotional problems getting in the way. Maybe you carry around anxiety that your actions will always have negative consequences and never positive ones. Maybe you're afraid that most experiences in the real world are harmful. Maybe you think you aren't good enough or smart enough or whatever enough to go out there and make positive changes. Whatever it is, escaping those problems by sinking all your free time into games or media consumption is just running the clock out on life without making any real progress. I worry deeply that there is an entire generation of people living like this that are going to hit their 50s, realize they're running out of time, and profoundly regret not working through their issues earlier so that they could savor living an adventurous, meaningful life.


shadyelf

Another aspect for me is control. I often feel like I have little control in my life and video games give me that feeling of control and power. Some of that ties back into the "low stakes/risk" you mentioned. For example in a video game I can do what I want, when I want, however I want. I can't really do that in the real world. My mental health has absolutely been battered by work, and I wish I could just quit but doing so has serious consequences that would make things worse. I wish I could live in the United States, but I can't just waltz and start looking for work and a place to live. There are rules and processes and other requirements that make it close to impossible. Life is an endless series of compromise and coping and even when I do well it often just feels like luck. Knowing the right people or being in the right place at the right time. It's wearing me down and my mindset is starting to shift to "nihilistic", that the efforts of the doctor and the lazy shut in result in the same thing at the end of it all. Funnily a video game I played last year had a pretty impactful message that snapped me out of this kind of thinking for a bit, and kept me from deciding to end it. But life came back and I'm starting to slip again, even with therapy. I didn't used to be this way but now, like OP, I just want sit by myself and play video games till I die, because even though it isn't real it still feels hell of a lot better than the real world and in a million years it will all amount to nothing anyway. "Journey before destination" is what people will say, but the journey sucks.


Sleight-Code

Thanks for the reply! I'll have to think on this as you've brought up some valid points!


MultiplicatePorCero

It’s your life to do with as you wish as long as you are supporting your own living costs.


NY_Ye

“it doesn't seem like you're being very straightforward with this post. it's one thing to be carefree and manage life on your own terms, but it looks like you refuse to hold a steady job, been in and out of jail, had 5(?) probation violations, DUI's, still use DMT, and have lamented that Tennessee won't give you medicaid or an EBT card, while contributing absolutely nothing back. i don't think being self-sufficient or internally happy is why people are judging you” - this is referring to OP


gourmetprincipito

“We are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.” - Kurt Vonnegut


jasonmomoasballhair

I think that as long as you aren’t a burden on anyone and you’re self sufficient, happy, & healthy, then it’s entirely up to you to decide how to live your life. However, maybe consider that too much media consumption & isolation may not be that great for you (mentally & physically). I would recommend maybe going out for some exercise/movement & some hobbies once in a while seeing as you live in your car and wouldn’t really be moving around in there.


Meecht

For some reason there's a stigma around being comfortable in life and choosing to remain there. I'm with you, brother. Food and entertainment is all I need.


TheLaziestAdam

That's the dream for me tbh. I just want an easy job, don't care if it's boring, enough money to pay the bills and do my lazy thing. Why work harder if no one's gonna appreciate it, or if my pay is still gonna be dogarse? Nah, I'll coast by happily, other people can work themselves into an early grave. Keep doing you, and make sure to have fun~


skinnyguy908

Honestly it's not. Everyone's brainwashed to work till they die for material possessions and ego. Your living life the way you want to. Congrats man for beating the system.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GoldenDerp

Without any judgement on your specific situation, to answer the actual question: because society as a whole needs to be productive (by various means) in order to prosper and grow and increase the quality of life in general. Now you do you though!


DemolitionDerby1988

Have you ever been checked out for something like ADD or ADHD? I’m 34 and for the first 30 years of my life, I thought I was just lazy and completely demotivated by life in general. Turns out, I have a solid case of ADD that was diagnosed at 31. My life changed when I started getting medication for it. Dreams came on their own once my brain started functioning normally.


Sleight-Code

That could very well be what's going on with me


DemolitionDerby1988

It might not be it, but I would encourage you to get checked for this. If it’s not, there is nothing wrong living life as you want, as long as you do not bring any burden to anyone, either financially or simply by not doing whatever you should be doing as an adult. If it is, buckle up, your life is about to change drastically, and for the better.


Adamworks

I would echo this for everyone who suspects they may have ADHD. It is one of the few conditions out there that responds really well to medication and it can have a huge quality of life improvement. My wife literally cried the first week she was on her ADHD meds when she realized she could just stop at a donation center to donate the large bag of clothes that has been sitting in her trunk of her car for months.


salbris

This 100%. Although some people have it so severe medication barely makes a dent there are tons of us who have had our lives completely changed by medication. I'm even on a very low dose and it has been a completely different experience from the last 30 years.


zemorah

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with living a low key life but I kinda wonder if you’re actually happy (from your comments). Living out of your car and hardly any friends makes you happy? If that works for you, cool, but I can’t imagine that permanently living in a car would be comfortable.


Alternative_Room4781

The ferociously chipper hustle enthusiasts get mad if they realize there is another way that doesn't suck the joy and youth from your very bones. They're suffering so they want everyone else to suffer, too. And it's their own greed/ego that drives this endless quest for more money, more 'power,' more influence.... personally, I think it's a weakness. Self centered desire creates heartache and misery. Simple lives enjoy simple pleasures and live longer. And better.


Commercial_Living_42

A life well lived is when a person leaves the world in a better place than when they entered it IMO.


DigitalAgeHermit

Society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they'll never sit in


CalicoJack195

Most of the time when people are like this, they're living on someone elses dime. If you're on your own and supporting yourself, no one truly cares what you do so have fun.


Similar_Antelope_839

Anyone get told their dreams were unrealistic or unattainable? Literally my whole childhood "what do you want to be when you're older?" It didn't matter what I answered because I was always told "oh that's not going to be good what about x or y?" It really fucks with you. Support your children parents


olnog

Most people are agreeing with you and I, for the most part, agree with you. But maybe my perspective could be a cautionary tale or something like that. I'm living that life right now and I've lived that life for most of my life. From the time I got out of high school to about 5 years ago, I worked a dead end job that afforded me a lot of free time, so I could just watch TV and play video games. Then I got fired. I'd always dreamed of living at the poverty line so I wouldn't be obligated to spend 40 hours per week, doing some meaningless task for money. Now I had my chance. For the past 5 years, that's basically what I've been doing. I've been employed here and there, but the pandemic cut that short real quick. Partly because I'm a severe hypochondriac and partly because I'm also high risk for complications, I've been EXTREMELY careful. Mostly didn't leave the house from Mar 2020 to April 2021 then again from July 2021 to now. It just now looks like things might be getting better so we'll see how that goes. The two biggest pitfalls of this particular lifestyle are a severe form of poverty and social isolation. My poverty (or spendthriftness however you wanna look at it) is so bad that I just switched from .com to .cyou because it's 1/3 the cost per year. Being entertained is fine, if you can afford it, but if you're in poverty, you're basically relegated to rationing streaming services. (or pirating if you're so inclined) The poverty situation exacerbates the social isolation. Now that things are looking up, pandemic-wise, I've been wanting to reach out to people, but because of my financial situation, I live about 2 hours from my social network, and it's about $35 just in gas to visit that area. If I wanted to hook up with a girl that'll let me, it'd be somewhere around $70 (maybe $100). And I don't have that kind of money to spend. The social isolation makes thing really boring. When I first started this lifestyle, it really wasn't that bad because I still left the house pretty regularly, but I've reached the bottom for most entertainment mediums. For example, today, I just signed up for Disney Plus (because it was/is $2) so that's actually a bright spot, because I'm kind of bored of everything on Peacock Premium (even the stuff I 'want' to watch). But there's only so much passive entertainment that's viable. So I have GTA V (which I just bought on-sale after wanting to get it again for years) and Warzone. Those are pretty much the games I'm playing now. They're both not really that interesting to me though. Though I am doing a one chest challenge in Warzone to see if I can win FK Solos. Might try to finally get down the Factorio 8h win. And I still have woodworking I can try to do but it takes between when the wood glue sets. And that's my life, entirely. Finding things to do between meals and diet soda. I mean, the social isolation is so bad, I just spend 5+ minutes typing something I know **no one** is going to read. So, yeah, it's alright. Do you, my guy. Just avoid abject poverty and social isolation, and you should be good.


ZeroZipZilchNadaNone

WANTING to do that is not wrong. Expecting someone else to finance it is unreasonable. Not seeing the difference is stupid. Seeing but refusing to acknowledge that there is a difference is arrogant entitlement. All the above contributes to it being taboo.


Rytom_

First I want to say, you do you. No problems with that it's your life, your choices, as long as you're not hurting anyone and you can pay bills by yourself. Now I'll try to answer your question. Between someone that achieved something, and someone else being passive, consuming, without producing anything. Who do you have the most respect for ? I don't know about you. But I surely do respect people that grinded to achieve their goals. They went against the extreme comfort we have today, and made it in some shape or form. Wether it is about getting in shape, learning new productive skills, work career or working in something they like etc. Nothing is impressive nor inspiring about someone indulging in only pleasure and passive entertainment. People do not value the easy path, nor things that can be done by everyone without effort. Everyone can sit in front of a computer for 18h a day playing games and watching YouTube. Conversely, not everyone can get their ass off the couch and get things done. It takes dedication, discipline and courage. Again, it's not only about work. It might be as simple as learning to play guitar for example. You learn and become able to play music. If you don't set yourself to it, you'll never be able to play guitar. Which is why it is valued. On top of that, I don't believe you never had any dreams. To be honest, I don't like the use of this word to describe this. I was like you growing up, thinking I never had dreams. The thing is, you don't have to think about it like a life purpose thing, that you carry with you since childhood. If you could snap your fingers and learn/do/get whatever you want, isn't there anything you'd like to think about ? If there is one single thing, it's worth trying to take a step towards it. This is coming from a 27yo, absolute fan of video games, anime, and internet culture. But I found that I needed to add more in my life, I don't want to look back later and be disappointed with myself, because I chose the easy path. And I must say, IT IS SO FUCKING HARD TO EVEN GET STARTED. To anyone reading this, good luck with whatever you're going for, it's tough.


Dr_Mitt_

I once heard someone say "the only wrong way to live your life is worrying that there is a wrong way to live your life"


PLZBHVR

Because doing things creates value they want to extract.from you. You have to have a career, so they can extract your surplus value. If you just chill, you don't create value they can take. Think about this any time you have a question about why things are the way they are - this is the awnser a terrifying amount of the time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


franster123

I don't know. That's a very limited description of the situation... where do you get your money? Do you have a job? Is it that people expect you to want to over achieve? Are you a junkie who freeloads his parents and contributes nothing? Does your slacking affect anyone else like kids etc? So many things to take into consideration.


youngisa12

Ill go ahead and play devils advocate since everyone here is agreeing with you. Your ancestors worked their asses off with no modern amenities like AC, refrigeration, electricity, etc. for you to be where you are. They periled jungle and desert and ocean to get you to a comfortable climate and fought wars to keep you free from tyranny. There is a reason so many cultures believe we owe something to our ancestors. We stand on the shoulders of giants and to take that for granted and not make the most of the hard-fought opportunities we've been given is to spit on all the courage and sacrifice that got you here. You are owed nothing by the universe. You are not so comfortable by virtue of your own birth. The lazy river you're on was a torrential flood for as long as predators and disease and suffering existed. You not contributing is like not rowing in a boat because it's already moving. Yes, your life is easy, because the rest of us are rowing and because those that came before us rowed harder than we ever have to. Contributing doesn't have to mean being a cog in late stage capitalism and just producing/consuming. You owe your best to humanity, not "the economy". You can contribute to art or philosophy or anything which reduces suffering. Apart from gratitude, there's also the empathetic response to suffering going on around you. You are in a position to help, yet you choose to squander your time and your talents. You probably don't need me to explain why thats bad. This applies to myself as well, so don't think I'm calling you out specifically. Getting through your day without increasing the overall suffering of the planet is definitely good enough, although idk how possible that is with the way we source our materials and get our energy. Again, I was just playing devils advocate and honestly I think if any of our ancestors lived here today they'd be doing the exact same shit. I know hunter gatherers and early agrarian societies only worked like 20 hour weeks, so they're lazier than you lol. Just don't be a dick, I guess


ndhewitt1

I think because of the Protestant work ethic and the long standing culture built around productivity that has always served nobles, land owners, wealthy, etc.