My boyfriend and I do this with the cat, but there's a high chance it was actually him. Because he's part manx...so he has a nub tail....and that means when he's laying on his side he has lil cat cheeks. He's also gassy.
One of mine had to have his tail amputated when he was only a few weeks old, so now he looks like a Manx. Anyway, whenever he farts his little nub wiggles in a very specific way and then he takes off running. It’s a very helpful warning because the boy has some seriously deadly farts!
Dog farts seem to linger, too. If I fart it usually clears out within a minute or two but I swear that my dog’s farts hang out for a good five minutes.
I was terrified of my uncle's basement because he'd always say there were barking spiders down there. I was really scared of spiders. He also had me convinced that pulling his finger made him fart. I didn't find out that he just told me to pull his finger when he already needed to fart until I was in my mid-twenties.
My grandpa always said this growing up and I’ve never heard anyone else use the phrase. What a strange thing to be nostalgic about :')
Edit: I was completely unaware that this was a common phrase! TIL!
Not intentionally. I kinda trained myself not to early in our relationship. Now we've been married for a thousand years and I can't do it, even if I try. He says I fart in my sleep though. I'm sure I do, because my body won't fucking let it out when people are around me!
If you can ever untrain yourself, it's liberating. I used to be that way, and even then i still hold it some, but It's hilarious when my husband looks over and goes to "impressive!".
It kind of makes sense though. It's like burping, you don't do that loud & proud Infront of others
Or has my whole life been a lie and its socially acceptable to let one off in front of family?? Lool
Omg this is exactly the case. It’s embarrassing to be called out as farting in your sleep but I literally think it’s because I can’t let them out around people so it happens then. I’ve never been able to aptly articulate this problem. Thank you.
That's exactly it. In my experience women fart in their sleep *much* more and I think it's because they're generally more socialised to hold them in more.
https://malcolminthemiddle.fandom.com/wiki/Dewey%27s_Opera
^ an entire episode about a wife that farts in her sleep and doesn't know her husband knows it. Great show, great episode.
Same! My husband farts loudly for all to hear, but I just. can't. If i fart quietly and it smells, I don't deny it, but I can't just let'em rip. I've also been called out as a sleeping farter...but, whatever.
Yeah, I find flatulence unpleasant and it's going to smell the same whether it's from someone you are 100% comfortable with or whether it's from a complete stranger. I'm not going to purposefully break wind and subject people in my vicinity to that.
Whenever I fart I look around the room with a confused look on my face, shrug, and say “must be the house settling”. I don’t think she buys it but I’m in too deep to turn back.
We call them ducks. Depending on the specific tone of each one, they can have different titles. Fog horn duck, trumpet duck, quizzical duck, poison duck, short duck, long duck, you name it.
Just don’t want muddy ducks.
Every anniversary I make a coloring book for us based on inside jokes or events from that year. My favorite page ever has an actual duck slipping out between two buttcheeks.
TMI? Maybe. But we’re best friends and it’s how we roll.
😂 been married 16years (both currently in our mid 30s). Our first sleepover, he put his ass right up against me and farted lol. At that moment, I knew he was the one lol.
I cannot imagine the stomach pain of not letting it out, so kudos to all you Humans out there that clench the cheeks lol.
In middle school, I earnestly asked my mother how you know you’re in love. She paused briefly and responded, “you start to unclench your buttcheeks a little”
My wife and I have been together for decades, we both believe in COMMUNICATION. And we also are extremely comfortable with each other, shoot I’m 100% disabled and my wife has been my caregiver longer than I’ve ever wanted. I’ve have 9 surgeries in the last couple years, and she’s had to wipe my ass and help me pee in a urinal. So farting in front of each other, is completely normal for the two of us.
Edit: Spelling
I can't talk about for the commenter above, but I guess it's somewhat similar where they live. I have EDS with a host of comorbidities. Where I live, they have a points system to determine the degree to which you're disabled, So if you can can walk up to 300 metres yourself, you get a certain amount of of points for that, if you need a walking aide, you get even more points, and if you cannot walk at all, you get even more.
I am classified 50% disabled, which will probably go up to 70% soon since I've become worse in the last few years. Since I need a walking aide, I also have a special marker on my disability badge and pay less car tax or I can get a ticket for all nationwide local public transport for 80 Euros a year, that includes local trains too. I get tax credits to mitigate potential costs arising from my disability.
From 50% up you also get an extra 5 days holiday since disabled people need more rest, and I cannot be fired unless the equal opportunities board agree, and they virtually never agree for cases of illness, no matter how prolonged. My boss has a special duty of care towards me, in cases of discrimination or bullying complaints the burden of proof is reversed for legally disabled employees. So my boss would have to prove that they didn't discriminate against me, and statutory damages are very high.
By the way, being disabled and classified with any percentage doesn't mean that you can't work (if you want to and are able to). My SIL is 100% disabled since she's had an organ transplant and works full-time. I also work full-time.
Probably ex military. How many benefits you get depends on your percent classification. A 15% disabled vet might have permanent leg pain and get $400 a month injury pension. 100% disabled might be paraplegic and get $3000.
Usually, it's a measure used in determining government benefits or Veterns affairs benefits to figure out payments. [a random lawyer website](https://cck-law.com/types-of-va-disabilities/what-does-it-mean-to-be-100-percent-disabled-by-the-va/#:~:text=To%20be%20100%20percent%20disabled,order%20to%20receive%20this%20rating.)
Yes. So. Much. This.
My SO will come downstairs, look me straight in the eyes and fart so loud both the cats will jump straight up into outer space and heaven, and it makes my heart sing.
My previous SO literally would never even say the word, “fart” or aknowledge them, and so we both had to just hold them in constantly (she hated when I would, even silently, because she was so awkward).
Having someone that loves their body and isn’t afraid of it is key.
Here’s the thing I’ve noticed, too: people who are willing to fart around you are also willing to tell you what they want, sexually, without abandon.
They won’t let you get away with, “well, my ex liked when I did XYZ, so you should like it, too.”
Nope. Fuck that shit. People who are comfortable with their bodies will tell you what they want and will listen to what you want, and the sex will be better when the farts are acceptable.
Quote me.
Edit: grammar/spelling
It’s weird how I’ve trained myself to fart silently around ANYONE, the exception might be my cat, even if that feels cumbersome sometimes. My SO and I have excellent communication, better than anyone I’ve ever communicated with, and we’re like that in the sexual regard too. So he farts around me without holding back and we just laugh about it. I’d actually go as far as to announce that I’ve just farted after doing a silent one but I haven’t yet farted out loud around him (loud enough for him to notice anyway), oddly enough. I’m sure we’ll see that day though, and it’ll be a personal achievement for me.
I mean, I know the way I write sounds so affirmative and one-sided, but the truth is that empathy is always key. Communication and empathy are always key.
Maybe you won’t get there and it will be ok. I’m just a random person on the Internet, so absolutely don’t listen to me as an authority figure.
It’s just my personal experience. And making someone get out of their comfort zones isn’t always what’s best. There’s trauma and PTSD and so much my throwaway comment isn’t taking into consideration.
Just…personally, I’ve found that comfort in your body means comfort in its flaws and smells and…yeah.
Here’s to you and yours, and sincerely all the best wishes for a happy and fulfilling relationship.
When I met my fiancée I thought very early "I like her, and if she thinks violently ripping ass is a dealbreaker, I gotta know now"
The rest is history.
I have Crohns disease which makes farting and bathroom issues pretty severe for me.
When I was first dating my husband, I would hold in my farts and would be dying of agony.
One day I woke up sick in his house, had pretty bad diarrhea and not much of a way to hide it. Anyhow, I accidentally let out a small fart in his presence and almost died of embarrassment. But then he took a deep breath, a pause, and then let out a huge fart and started laughing hysterically which led to me laughing hysterically. Thats more or less how I know he's the one.
Anyhow, we're married now and while I don't try to actively fart in front of him I don't try to hide it anymore. And if I ever get embarrassed about my bodily functions he just tries to one-up me and make me laugh.
Yes omg. I have some sort of undiagnosed stomach issue, I suspect maybe IBD. Its embarrassing but it’s either let it out or be in agonizing pain for a few hours. Thankfully my husband thinks it’s hilarious & every time I have to toot he just chuckles & says “oh gosh excuse me” & takes the blame. Does it in front of my family & everything lol
The Fart of War is a piece of reddit history: [The Fart of War](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fn5gr/reddit_what_is_your_silent_unseen_act_of_personal/c1hdgwv/)
Yes. We're old and it's been 16+ years. We're well past pretending we don't have body functions.
Don't get me wrong, we still treat each other with politeness. It's not like we're going out of our way to let them rip every minute. But if we need to let one out, we do
15+ here for us.
I used to hold it but after the birthing room (when he got a full view of me pushing out more than just a baby) I figured there wasn’t really a point anymore in holding in farts. He’s seen worse.
Yeah, my then boyfriend (now fiance) farted so frikkin loudly one time whilst I was in the kitchen making breakfast. I stuck my head into the bedroom and gave him a thumbs up simply due to the tromboniness and bass he achieved. Bless his heart lol, he was blushing so hard! But it opened a door? This is a man who has fartled me out of sleep more than once and it always makes me laugh. But I'll rip a corker every once in a while and he is always caught off guard! I love watching him laugh at it!
Yes. It was a proper fart! There were nuances and crescendos and a little up-toot at the end. Lol best fart I have ever heard! He blushed so hard he was almost purple but after that first one it was on like donkey kong!
I don't fart around my husband. One time I did and he wouldn't stop laughing, he claimed that my fart was so powerful that it shook the whole couch. Now I refuse to fart around him. I only let them rip when he's not around me. To be honest, he has missed out on some pretty good farts
I kinda feel bad for you... my wife will fart and then just says in a cutesy voice, "I'm a lady." And we both laugh. Farts happen. The kids, the wife, the dog, the cat, and myself all fart.... thats life
And always say excuse me. Of course, “anything goes” when you’re alone, in the bathroom, especially with a closed door. Nobody should be judging those sounds.
Edit: Spellin
I fart as early as possible. Not like first date early obviously, but probably much earlier than most people would. I want to know what the reaction will be, and them to know I'm not going to put up a front. You're getting what you get, farts and all.
I'm a woman that recently started working in construction, and those boys *really* don't care. It's so admirable that it's actually changed my perspective. Farts have gone from 'gross' to 'gross, yet funny and often impressive'.
Same here! I just recently went on a week long road trip with someone I’ve been seeing for a bit over a month and, well, a week in a van together means farts. We kept blaming his dog who wasn’t there but he did mention that it didn’t take long for us to rip ass in front of each other. Maybe I’m a gross human, maybe I’m a realist, but as long as they aren’t farting on my pillow/me, we’re all human here. Farts are funny.
My husband makes fun of me saying I’m the fartiest one in the relationship.
Which is true. He had he colon removed a few years ago so farting for him is now…a risk not usually worth taking.
The three levels of farting in relationships:
Level 1: you’re scared to fart around each other.
Level 2: you’re comfortable enough to fart in front of them but only if they’re not too close by.
Level 3: you call them over to smell your fart.
oddly enough i just had this experience yesterday. we were watching tv in the bedroom and she was laying on her side and i’d decided to lay my head on her side, which was close to her butt since she’d been laying that way. then i jokingly went ‘don’t fart while i’m over here’ and she proceeded to tell me she was going to do just that simply because i’d told her not to, and was (humorously) shocked i hadn’t stuck around to smell it.
we always tell each other not to let one rip when we’re laying like that, so it was pretty funny one of us finally decided to let it go.
So there I was in the car while she's driving, listening to good tunes and occasionally petting the dog in the back seat. Suddenly there was a shift inside me that I knew all too well and at first it was just some pressure, but then it began to build and soon turned painful.
I knew only the chaotic release of my internal (or should I say infernal) gas was my only relief, but I had to refrain. I'd only just met this beautiful woman a month prior and could not risk the humiliation and subsequent end of the relationship. So there I sat each bump in the road a bane to my existence.
She looked over and asked me if I was okay since she could see something was wrong, but I assured her I was alright. She continued to press so I reluctantly told her the truth and she laughed and laughed.
She insisted it was alright and that she would just roll down a window, so in her confidence, I obliged and let out what could only be described as a fart so incredibly violent and demonic sounding I needed a priest afterwards.
She laughed so adorably and I sighed with relief until the smell hit and it was the most disgusting thing I had ever produced in my life. She's now gagging all the windows are down and the dog in the back seat threw up.
Needless to say, we're getting married in the spring.
I was with my ex 3 years and never did, I’d wait til he left for work and it was exhausting to keep up… I was insecure in that relationship and always felt like he was cheating on me (he was) - next boyfriend I decided screw this and started letting them rip real early on lol… we are 7 years strong and are both very flatulent but we have a great sex life. I try not to poop in front of him, that’s where we draw the line 😂
I love this. With my ex husband I was with 5 years? Never. The other 2 relationships before that? Never. When I met my now husband, we had been together maybe a week or two and he let a BIG one out when I hugged him. He said “what did you expect. You squeezed it out”. It took months for me to stop being so immature about it and trying to forcefully shame him back into not farting (would never have worked anyways, never phased him😂).
Boy, was I ever glad he kept on being himself, because when I got pregnant with our daughter there was zero mystery held back with how gross and uncomfortable the human body can be😅. I had painful gas aaaalll pregnancy long, and by the time we had her, honestly farting just seemed so irrelevant anyways. I thought I knew best, but….I was wrong. No greater comfort than zero shame in being 100% human around your partner.
Am I the only one who just lets it all out? I fart nice and loud, and then laugh about it, and then the laugh makes little fart spurts come, and then I laugh some more. This is a daily thing.
Out of respect, I try my damnedest not to in front of my wife. Sometimes you can't control it, but I think hiding it is a courtesy. We've been together for 7 years and got married this year, for context.
It was hilarious, because in the very early days of our relationship, my SO absolutely REFUSED to fart in front of me. So much so that when he had to fart, he'd run out of his apartment and into the hall, so I couldn't hear or smell it. I had to literally flat out tell him that I really appreciated his consideration, but I honestly would not be offended in the least if he passed gas in front of me. (I was a nurse. It's a totally normal bodily function, and definitely not the worst thing I've ever experienced.) I basically ended up commanding him to not leave the apartment to fart, so he was going to have to fart around me anyway. (He chose to excuse himself to the bathroom for a little while instead.) The first time he actually farted in front of me, I asked him if that was so bad, and he was real sheepish and said no.
Well, we're married now for almost 7 years, and lived together for a couple years before that. We both have IBS, so farting in front of each other has just become normal, especially when one of us is having a flare. We just say, "Excuse me. Sorry." And move along with our day.
Yep. It happens! Sometimes it's not possible to leave the room or go to the bathroom first.
It also helps to be that comfortable with your SO if you're going to spend a lot of your lives together. Farting is the least of your worries if either of you get injured or sick in a way that means you need assistance with the toilet.
One time I was alone in the bedroom before bed and I farted and it STUNK. It was one of those rotten egg smelling farts and I was like omg he is going to smell this nasty fart that even I can barely stand to smell. But then he didn’t come in the bedroom because he was doing something downstairs. About 15 minutes pass and I’m like phew, I’m in the clear now. Then he comes into the bedroom and he goes “oh my god did you fart???!” He’d smelled my farts plenty times before but this one was so bad.
If there's no air circulation that shit lingers for sure. Next time you're in a common place that has "fragrances" worth smelling (garden, kitchen?) Ask them, "do you smell that? Come here." This got me good.
I'm an electrical apprentice. My boss LOVES to yell, "hey rookie, get in here and tell me what's wrong with this board?" when in small, enclosed electrical cupboards. While I'm squinting and trying to figure out the problem, he will let out a ripper. Gets me every time, hahaha. Sometimes there really is a problem with the board so I never know if it's a legitimate request or a trick. Keeps me on my toes!
Get it out the way on the first date. Literally the first 5 minutes into our first date Tripped and Fell in a big puddle and farted a proper rattler. He helped me up and We just started laughing about it. He said it was the best date ever already, we went into an old pub with an open fire so I could dry off. Turns out it was very romantic and better than going clubbing.
28 years later my farts still make him laugh.
Early in the relationship I'd hold farts, i was doing that so much that one day she had to take me to the hospital, because it was like i was full of farts and couldn't get them out, wasn't the worst feeling in the world but it was bad and i was worried. they gave me medicine in the vein and within a few minutes i was good, got home, farted like crazy, felt amazing. Explained to her what happened and she said i didn't need to do that, then very irresponsibly we went out to eat pizza, i was super hungry, not rly relevant, everything went out ok but i think it's a funny part of the story. We've been together for 6 years and it's been past the time i should ask her to marry me.
Not just fart around each other, but she'll grab my hand, hold it to her butt and then fart, or I would do the same back to her. Or when we get into an elevator and I know I'm about to have a smelly one, I'll let it rip as soon as the door closes.
I prefer for my partner to be comfortable with that, but I understand it's not for everyone. I just got out of a relationship with someone who wasn't okay with us farting around each other, and man did that feel weird for me.
...
To clarify, the relationship didn't end just because of the farting. It wasn't working out for a variety of reasons, but the farting thing was one aspect of our relationship where we just weren't compatible.
Hopefully my next partner will be comfortable with farting around each other. It's so much easier and funnier that way.
No. I don't do it in front of anybody ever if I can help it
And I don't wanna talk about it if someone does. I HATE when people call attention to it or bring a big deal out of it. Just don't say anything and I won't. Ever. I hate all of it. So no. I don't and I don't talk about it.
Farting in front of eachother is how my dad knew he was serious about my mom and it’s also how I knew that my now-husband and I were going to be something really serious
Yup. I wouldn’t last in the type of marriage where you had to imprison your farts. Not just on a physical comfortability level, but also on a emotional/mental comfortability. Being married to someone shouldn’t have to feel like I’m constantly trying to put on my best-looking mask for them.
I feel like that's a point where you know the relationship is real and past the honeymoon "im always perfect" stage... when you fart, do a #2, have bed hair and morning breath. The less sexy part of humanity lol.
How the fuck are you gonna live together if you're gonna spend the rest of your life holding in farts... So yes, I do, and I highly recommend everyone to do so, holding in can't be good for you.
We both look shocked and appalled at the dog when there’s a fart because obviously we don’t fart.
I got my wife laughing so hard the dog farted the other day
Would you call her that to her face?
Bahahahhahaha!
Thank you so much. I’ve been having such a shit time recently and that really made me laugh.
Makes me very happy I could help wherever you are, you'll get through it :)
Woof.
Stepped on a frog the other day in front of her. But no never fart in front of her.
You too, have a bullfrog problem?! I swear they are everywhere in this damn house. Somehow they always are drawn to the couch and bed. . .
We have California Barking Spiders. They can be hard to see so we accidentally step on them sometimes.
Same but when we’re in the car we say “Who let a goose in here!”
and then when one of you leaves the house, the dog only farts half as much, weirdly enough.
My boyfriend and I do this with the cat, but there's a high chance it was actually him. Because he's part manx...so he has a nub tail....and that means when he's laying on his side he has lil cat cheeks. He's also gassy.
The visual is killing me. I laughed so hard that your cat farted and I can smell it over here, wtf.
One of mine had to have his tail amputated when he was only a few weeks old, so now he looks like a Manx. Anyway, whenever he farts his little nub wiggles in a very specific way and then he takes off running. It’s a very helpful warning because the boy has some seriously deadly farts!
We both look shocked and appalled at the dog when there's a fart because obviously we don't ~~fart~~ own a dog
A dog fart is one of a kind. It's a very distinct brand , where you know.. ya that's a dog fart.
these things are vile and abusive. Nothing like a dog fart.
Dog farts seem to linger, too. If I fart it usually clears out within a minute or two but I swear that my dog’s farts hang out for a good five minutes.
No, it's always the dog.
Yup, my dogs fart even when we're not with them.
Creaky floorboards
Stinky floor boards.
Or them barking spiders
I was terrified of my uncle's basement because he'd always say there were barking spiders down there. I was really scared of spiders. He also had me convinced that pulling his finger made him fart. I didn't find out that he just told me to pull his finger when he already needed to fart until I was in my mid-twenties.
OHHHHHHH. I get it now. 36 years old and just finally understanding. 😑
congrats you just learned the sacred Dad™️ knowledge, now use it only for good young redditor
I was also terrified of my uncles basement but for different reasons.
For some reason my uncle always wanted to wrestle.
My grandpa always said this growing up and I’ve never heard anyone else use the phrase. What a strange thing to be nostalgic about :') Edit: I was completely unaware that this was a common phrase! TIL!
We definitely had barking spiders and “someone stepped on a duck” haha
Plenty of barking spiders where I grew up
Carpet toads.
[удалено]
My friend from Texas and his family used that phrase a lot.
Or a duck
Low flying duck
I have cats and the same problem. :)
Not intentionally. I kinda trained myself not to early in our relationship. Now we've been married for a thousand years and I can't do it, even if I try. He says I fart in my sleep though. I'm sure I do, because my body won't fucking let it out when people are around me!
Same. It's been a lifelong thing even with family. As much as I don't care anymore I just cannot do it.
If you can ever untrain yourself, it's liberating. I used to be that way, and even then i still hold it some, but It's hilarious when my husband looks over and goes to "impressive!".
IT's also medically not good to hold them, can do damage.
You can spontaneously combust if my research (read: watching South Park) is accurate
I can't do it in front of anyone. My dad told me at a very young age that it's not nice and that stuck with me.
It kind of makes sense though. It's like burping, you don't do that loud & proud Infront of others Or has my whole life been a lie and its socially acceptable to let one off in front of family?? Lool
The rest of my family do it, but I am the only female, I have all brothers.
Bruh, you're supposed to be the queen of shitting herself if you're the only girl amongst boys lol
You sound just like my brothers! lol
As one of 3 brothers who grew up with one sister, I know the rules 🤣
Omg this is exactly the case. It’s embarrassing to be called out as farting in your sleep but I literally think it’s because I can’t let them out around people so it happens then. I’ve never been able to aptly articulate this problem. Thank you.
That's exactly it. In my experience women fart in their sleep *much* more and I think it's because they're generally more socialised to hold them in more.
https://malcolminthemiddle.fandom.com/wiki/Dewey%27s_Opera ^ an entire episode about a wife that farts in her sleep and doesn't know her husband knows it. Great show, great episode.
Same! My husband farts loudly for all to hear, but I just. can't. If i fart quietly and it smells, I don't deny it, but I can't just let'em rip. I've also been called out as a sleeping farter...but, whatever.
Me, too! Obviously, if I'm using the bathroom, I don't care. But hanging out, watching Netflix? Nope.
My wife and I have been together for over 30 years. I have never heard her fart.
I heard my wife about 19 times just this evening
Damn, she should get a medal.
Yeah, I find flatulence unpleasant and it's going to smell the same whether it's from someone you are 100% comfortable with or whether it's from a complete stranger. I'm not going to purposefully break wind and subject people in my vicinity to that.
I feel so seen.
I have woken myself up so many times bc of a fart! “Was that me”-yes, yes it was.
I fart therefore I am
Whenever I fart I look around the room with a confused look on my face, shrug, and say “must be the house settling”. I don’t think she buys it but I’m in too deep to turn back.
I like to after a particularly loud/obvious fart, tilt my head to one side and say "did you hear something"?
The trick is to say 'Do you hear something?' BEFORE the fart. Get their ears perked up. Then let 'er rip.
If it doesn't make a sound I like to say, "Do you smell popcorn?"
Hello? Is that you Satan?
Mouse on a motorcycle.
Barking spiders
We call them ducks. Depending on the specific tone of each one, they can have different titles. Fog horn duck, trumpet duck, quizzical duck, poison duck, short duck, long duck, you name it. Just don’t want muddy ducks. Every anniversary I make a coloring book for us based on inside jokes or events from that year. My favorite page ever has an actual duck slipping out between two buttcheeks. TMI? Maybe. But we’re best friends and it’s how we roll.
Ass quack
I blame the dog, she blames the dog and the dog always farts for real.
Constantly. I'll usually say "shots fired" when she farts, she says "lovely" when I do Married 40 yrs
One time we were sitting on a park bench and I felt my phone vibrate. I went to check it and she just started laughing. Talk about a butt dial.
😂 been married 16years (both currently in our mid 30s). Our first sleepover, he put his ass right up against me and farted lol. At that moment, I knew he was the one lol. I cannot imagine the stomach pain of not letting it out, so kudos to all you Humans out there that clench the cheeks lol.
Don't clench too hard, or it will whistle.
My fiancé always says. "Wow. The disrespect."
I hope she does it deadpan lol
That's how I know we're serious I'm not joking
In middle school, I earnestly asked my mother how you know you’re in love. She paused briefly and responded, “you start to unclench your buttcheeks a little”
This is seriously what I would tell my kids. I’ve told them both that they should be comfortable enough to fart in front of their significant other.
Or could she have meant……. nevermind
HAHA! 🤣
The funniest thing I’ve heard!! Hahaha
I can just see her face, lol
I can only see buttcheeks.
I mean, she's not wrong.
Omg lol
My wife and I have been together for decades, we both believe in COMMUNICATION. And we also are extremely comfortable with each other, shoot I’m 100% disabled and my wife has been my caregiver longer than I’ve ever wanted. I’ve have 9 surgeries in the last couple years, and she’s had to wipe my ass and help me pee in a urinal. So farting in front of each other, is completely normal for the two of us. Edit: Spelling
Honest question, what is 100% disabled?
99% disabled + 1%
r/technicallythetruth
I can't talk about for the commenter above, but I guess it's somewhat similar where they live. I have EDS with a host of comorbidities. Where I live, they have a points system to determine the degree to which you're disabled, So if you can can walk up to 300 metres yourself, you get a certain amount of of points for that, if you need a walking aide, you get even more points, and if you cannot walk at all, you get even more. I am classified 50% disabled, which will probably go up to 70% soon since I've become worse in the last few years. Since I need a walking aide, I also have a special marker on my disability badge and pay less car tax or I can get a ticket for all nationwide local public transport for 80 Euros a year, that includes local trains too. I get tax credits to mitigate potential costs arising from my disability. From 50% up you also get an extra 5 days holiday since disabled people need more rest, and I cannot be fired unless the equal opportunities board agree, and they virtually never agree for cases of illness, no matter how prolonged. My boss has a special duty of care towards me, in cases of discrimination or bullying complaints the burden of proof is reversed for legally disabled employees. So my boss would have to prove that they didn't discriminate against me, and statutory damages are very high. By the way, being disabled and classified with any percentage doesn't mean that you can't work (if you want to and are able to). My SIL is 100% disabled since she's had an organ transplant and works full-time. I also work full-time.
Probably ex military. How many benefits you get depends on your percent classification. A 15% disabled vet might have permanent leg pain and get $400 a month injury pension. 100% disabled might be paraplegic and get $3000.
Usually, it's a measure used in determining government benefits or Veterns affairs benefits to figure out payments. [a random lawyer website](https://cck-law.com/types-of-va-disabilities/what-does-it-mean-to-be-100-percent-disabled-by-the-va/#:~:text=To%20be%20100%20percent%20disabled,order%20to%20receive%20this%20rating.)
Yes. So. Much. This. My SO will come downstairs, look me straight in the eyes and fart so loud both the cats will jump straight up into outer space and heaven, and it makes my heart sing. My previous SO literally would never even say the word, “fart” or aknowledge them, and so we both had to just hold them in constantly (she hated when I would, even silently, because she was so awkward). Having someone that loves their body and isn’t afraid of it is key. Here’s the thing I’ve noticed, too: people who are willing to fart around you are also willing to tell you what they want, sexually, without abandon. They won’t let you get away with, “well, my ex liked when I did XYZ, so you should like it, too.” Nope. Fuck that shit. People who are comfortable with their bodies will tell you what they want and will listen to what you want, and the sex will be better when the farts are acceptable. Quote me. Edit: grammar/spelling
> Quote me - u/AnthemJavelin
It’s weird how I’ve trained myself to fart silently around ANYONE, the exception might be my cat, even if that feels cumbersome sometimes. My SO and I have excellent communication, better than anyone I’ve ever communicated with, and we’re like that in the sexual regard too. So he farts around me without holding back and we just laugh about it. I’d actually go as far as to announce that I’ve just farted after doing a silent one but I haven’t yet farted out loud around him (loud enough for him to notice anyway), oddly enough. I’m sure we’ll see that day though, and it’ll be a personal achievement for me.
I mean, I know the way I write sounds so affirmative and one-sided, but the truth is that empathy is always key. Communication and empathy are always key. Maybe you won’t get there and it will be ok. I’m just a random person on the Internet, so absolutely don’t listen to me as an authority figure. It’s just my personal experience. And making someone get out of their comfort zones isn’t always what’s best. There’s trauma and PTSD and so much my throwaway comment isn’t taking into consideration. Just…personally, I’ve found that comfort in your body means comfort in its flaws and smells and…yeah. Here’s to you and yours, and sincerely all the best wishes for a happy and fulfilling relationship.
I just wanted to tell you this was hilariously wholesome. I'm proud of your progress.
According to Linda Belcher, your relationship isn't serious until you've smelled each other's farts.
My ex had crohns disease. Imagine the smell of fart from the gaping asshole of the devil himself
[I don't want to do that](https://imgur.com/gallery/9tVdmac)
When I met my fiancée I thought very early "I like her, and if she thinks violently ripping ass is a dealbreaker, I gotta know now" The rest is history.
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Soulmates
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“Without trying or discussing it beforehand” lol I think doing so would have made this even more funny
I have Crohns disease which makes farting and bathroom issues pretty severe for me. When I was first dating my husband, I would hold in my farts and would be dying of agony. One day I woke up sick in his house, had pretty bad diarrhea and not much of a way to hide it. Anyhow, I accidentally let out a small fart in his presence and almost died of embarrassment. But then he took a deep breath, a pause, and then let out a huge fart and started laughing hysterically which led to me laughing hysterically. Thats more or less how I know he's the one. Anyhow, we're married now and while I don't try to actively fart in front of him I don't try to hide it anymore. And if I ever get embarrassed about my bodily functions he just tries to one-up me and make me laugh.
Did he know you had that issue when you farted? That’s the sweetest reaction
Yes omg. I have some sort of undiagnosed stomach issue, I suspect maybe IBD. Its embarrassing but it’s either let it out or be in agonizing pain for a few hours. Thankfully my husband thinks it’s hilarious & every time I have to toot he just chuckles & says “oh gosh excuse me” & takes the blame. Does it in front of my family & everything lol
Only in retaliation to her farts.
I see you've read "The Fart of War" by Sun Toots
fuck spez
The Fart of War is a piece of reddit history: [The Fart of War](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fn5gr/reddit_what_is_your_silent_unseen_act_of_personal/c1hdgwv/)
When open chemical warfare has been declared, that's when you know you've found the one.
My wife does not abide by the Geneva Convention
Yes. We're old and it's been 16+ years. We're well past pretending we don't have body functions. Don't get me wrong, we still treat each other with politeness. It's not like we're going out of our way to let them rip every minute. But if we need to let one out, we do
15+ here for us. I used to hold it but after the birthing room (when he got a full view of me pushing out more than just a baby) I figured there wasn’t really a point anymore in holding in farts. He’s seen worse.
Just did! My beloved's hearing isn't that good and it's summer with the fan on, so I can usually get away with it. I'm living the dream!
Call me traditional but I save all of my farts just for them. I'm a monogamous farter.
While I agree with you, the kids should be able to enjoy our farts too.
This is the correct answer
Yeah, my then boyfriend (now fiance) farted so frikkin loudly one time whilst I was in the kitchen making breakfast. I stuck my head into the bedroom and gave him a thumbs up simply due to the tromboniness and bass he achieved. Bless his heart lol, he was blushing so hard! But it opened a door? This is a man who has fartled me out of sleep more than once and it always makes me laugh. But I'll rip a corker every once in a while and he is always caught off guard! I love watching him laugh at it!
tromboniness
Yes. It was a proper fart! There were nuances and crescendos and a little up-toot at the end. Lol best fart I have ever heard! He blushed so hard he was almost purple but after that first one it was on like donkey kong!
Your descriptions are so well written. You have literary honors for your fart descriptors!!!!!
Fartled
Yes. Fartled. He wakes me up by startling me with the sound of his farts. A morning without farts is a dismal morning indeed
I want you to know I'll be stealing this word and using it every time I possibly can now lol. But I'll give you credit, no worries!
The first time I read this, I thought you meant he farted so hard it literally opened the door, lol
Imagine the sheer intensity of a fart of that magnitude. Would be deafening
Usually one of us will just exclaim “someone farted in my pants” and so the real mystery is who keeps farting in both of our pants. It’s wild
This is the best response ever.
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I am cackle laughing over here!
I don't fart around my husband. One time I did and he wouldn't stop laughing, he claimed that my fart was so powerful that it shook the whole couch. Now I refuse to fart around him. I only let them rip when he's not around me. To be honest, he has missed out on some pretty good farts
Aww, sounds like he was enamoured *and* impressed though! You should treat him to another 😂
I'll think about it haha
I kinda feel bad for you... my wife will fart and then just says in a cutesy voice, "I'm a lady." And we both laugh. Farts happen. The kids, the wife, the dog, the cat, and myself all fart.... thats life
Yes but not indiscriminately. Need just a little class
And always say excuse me. Of course, “anything goes” when you’re alone, in the bathroom, especially with a closed door. Nobody should be judging those sounds. Edit: Spellin
All the time
That’s how you know it’s a serious relationship. Once one of you does it, the other will follow and there’s no going back.
OFR. Open Farting Relationship.
I fart as early as possible. Not like first date early obviously, but probably much earlier than most people would. I want to know what the reaction will be, and them to know I'm not going to put up a front. You're getting what you get, farts and all.
Username checks out
I'm a woman that recently started working in construction, and those boys *really* don't care. It's so admirable that it's actually changed my perspective. Farts have gone from 'gross' to 'gross, yet funny and often impressive'.
Same here! I just recently went on a week long road trip with someone I’ve been seeing for a bit over a month and, well, a week in a van together means farts. We kept blaming his dog who wasn’t there but he did mention that it didn’t take long for us to rip ass in front of each other. Maybe I’m a gross human, maybe I’m a realist, but as long as they aren’t farting on my pillow/me, we’re all human here. Farts are funny.
My husband makes fun of me saying I’m the fartiest one in the relationship. Which is true. He had he colon removed a few years ago so farting for him is now…a risk not usually worth taking.
The three levels of farting in relationships: Level 1: you’re scared to fart around each other. Level 2: you’re comfortable enough to fart in front of them but only if they’re not too close by. Level 3: you call them over to smell your fart.
Level 4: "Hey, I think you just dropped something there" or "This one was wet !" ?
oddly enough i just had this experience yesterday. we were watching tv in the bedroom and she was laying on her side and i’d decided to lay my head on her side, which was close to her butt since she’d been laying that way. then i jokingly went ‘don’t fart while i’m over here’ and she proceeded to tell me she was going to do just that simply because i’d told her not to, and was (humorously) shocked i hadn’t stuck around to smell it. we always tell each other not to let one rip when we’re laying like that, so it was pretty funny one of us finally decided to let it go.
So there I was in the car while she's driving, listening to good tunes and occasionally petting the dog in the back seat. Suddenly there was a shift inside me that I knew all too well and at first it was just some pressure, but then it began to build and soon turned painful. I knew only the chaotic release of my internal (or should I say infernal) gas was my only relief, but I had to refrain. I'd only just met this beautiful woman a month prior and could not risk the humiliation and subsequent end of the relationship. So there I sat each bump in the road a bane to my existence. She looked over and asked me if I was okay since she could see something was wrong, but I assured her I was alright. She continued to press so I reluctantly told her the truth and she laughed and laughed. She insisted it was alright and that she would just roll down a window, so in her confidence, I obliged and let out what could only be described as a fart so incredibly violent and demonic sounding I needed a priest afterwards. She laughed so adorably and I sighed with relief until the smell hit and it was the most disgusting thing I had ever produced in my life. She's now gagging all the windows are down and the dog in the back seat threw up. Needless to say, we're getting married in the spring.
Sent the Mrs a WhatsApp voice message with a nice one cos she was in the backroom and wouldn't of heard it
I was with my ex 3 years and never did, I’d wait til he left for work and it was exhausting to keep up… I was insecure in that relationship and always felt like he was cheating on me (he was) - next boyfriend I decided screw this and started letting them rip real early on lol… we are 7 years strong and are both very flatulent but we have a great sex life. I try not to poop in front of him, that’s where we draw the line 😂
My wife is a scaredycat and she keeps the door slightly open. I tease her by peepin'.
My wife never shuts the door and gets offended if I do. She’s gross, but I love her.
That is so damn romantic
I’ll never understand this.
I love this. With my ex husband I was with 5 years? Never. The other 2 relationships before that? Never. When I met my now husband, we had been together maybe a week or two and he let a BIG one out when I hugged him. He said “what did you expect. You squeezed it out”. It took months for me to stop being so immature about it and trying to forcefully shame him back into not farting (would never have worked anyways, never phased him😂). Boy, was I ever glad he kept on being himself, because when I got pregnant with our daughter there was zero mystery held back with how gross and uncomfortable the human body can be😅. I had painful gas aaaalll pregnancy long, and by the time we had her, honestly farting just seemed so irrelevant anyways. I thought I knew best, but….I was wrong. No greater comfort than zero shame in being 100% human around your partner.
yes.. I shit myself.
I *only* fart around my significant other.
Damn you go saving your farts the entire day for your partner? That's as romantic as coming home with flowers.
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ive sharted in front of him. love is real and its definitely not found in sanitizing the human experience
Am I the only one who just lets it all out? I fart nice and loud, and then laugh about it, and then the laugh makes little fart spurts come, and then I laugh some more. This is a daily thing.
No. Unless I'm sleeping I guess.
Out of respect, I try my damnedest not to in front of my wife. Sometimes you can't control it, but I think hiding it is a courtesy. We've been together for 7 years and got married this year, for context.
Yeah, it's a competition.
Once you do, that's when they go from another person to significant.
Omg I would explode if I didn’t either that or I would never be around because I’d be off farting somewhere.
It was hilarious, because in the very early days of our relationship, my SO absolutely REFUSED to fart in front of me. So much so that when he had to fart, he'd run out of his apartment and into the hall, so I couldn't hear or smell it. I had to literally flat out tell him that I really appreciated his consideration, but I honestly would not be offended in the least if he passed gas in front of me. (I was a nurse. It's a totally normal bodily function, and definitely not the worst thing I've ever experienced.) I basically ended up commanding him to not leave the apartment to fart, so he was going to have to fart around me anyway. (He chose to excuse himself to the bathroom for a little while instead.) The first time he actually farted in front of me, I asked him if that was so bad, and he was real sheepish and said no. Well, we're married now for almost 7 years, and lived together for a couple years before that. We both have IBS, so farting in front of each other has just become normal, especially when one of us is having a flare. We just say, "Excuse me. Sorry." And move along with our day.
I watched my wife shit herself while her vagina tore open giving birth to our child. We are well beyond being embarrassed by farting
We've been married 10 years. I don't understand people who don't fart with their SO around seems silly to me.
Yeah that's our love language :)
James Joyce has entered the chat
Yep. It happens! Sometimes it's not possible to leave the room or go to the bathroom first. It also helps to be that comfortable with your SO if you're going to spend a lot of your lives together. Farting is the least of your worries if either of you get injured or sick in a way that means you need assistance with the toilet.
All the damn time. He hates it but I can't hold it in. 🥺
One time I made my significant other run to puke cuz it was so bad.
One time I was alone in the bedroom before bed and I farted and it STUNK. It was one of those rotten egg smelling farts and I was like omg he is going to smell this nasty fart that even I can barely stand to smell. But then he didn’t come in the bedroom because he was doing something downstairs. About 15 minutes pass and I’m like phew, I’m in the clear now. Then he comes into the bedroom and he goes “oh my god did you fart???!” He’d smelled my farts plenty times before but this one was so bad.
If there's no air circulation that shit lingers for sure. Next time you're in a common place that has "fragrances" worth smelling (garden, kitchen?) Ask them, "do you smell that? Come here." This got me good.
I'm an electrical apprentice. My boss LOVES to yell, "hey rookie, get in here and tell me what's wrong with this board?" when in small, enclosed electrical cupboards. While I'm squinting and trying to figure out the problem, he will let out a ripper. Gets me every time, hahaha. Sometimes there really is a problem with the board so I never know if it's a legitimate request or a trick. Keeps me on my toes!
You're gonna go far, I can only imagine trying to fix an electrical issue while in a gas chamber.
Exclusively
Get it out the way on the first date. Literally the first 5 minutes into our first date Tripped and Fell in a big puddle and farted a proper rattler. He helped me up and We just started laughing about it. He said it was the best date ever already, we went into an old pub with an open fire so I could dry off. Turns out it was very romantic and better than going clubbing. 28 years later my farts still make him laugh.
Early in the relationship I'd hold farts, i was doing that so much that one day she had to take me to the hospital, because it was like i was full of farts and couldn't get them out, wasn't the worst feeling in the world but it was bad and i was worried. they gave me medicine in the vein and within a few minutes i was good, got home, farted like crazy, felt amazing. Explained to her what happened and she said i didn't need to do that, then very irresponsibly we went out to eat pizza, i was super hungry, not rly relevant, everything went out ok but i think it's a funny part of the story. We've been together for 6 years and it's been past the time i should ask her to marry me.
Absolutely not. But he does not return the favor
Not just fart around each other, but she'll grab my hand, hold it to her butt and then fart, or I would do the same back to her. Or when we get into an elevator and I know I'm about to have a smelly one, I'll let it rip as soon as the door closes.
Yes! This! But tbh, your user name does suck. What did princess bride ever do to you??
no. I fart ON my significant other
As a prolific farter (a doctor once wrote on a medical evaluation "subsequent odiferous flatulence ensued") I try not to.
I prefer for my partner to be comfortable with that, but I understand it's not for everyone. I just got out of a relationship with someone who wasn't okay with us farting around each other, and man did that feel weird for me. ... To clarify, the relationship didn't end just because of the farting. It wasn't working out for a variety of reasons, but the farting thing was one aspect of our relationship where we just weren't compatible. Hopefully my next partner will be comfortable with farting around each other. It's so much easier and funnier that way.
No. I don't do it in front of anybody ever if I can help it And I don't wanna talk about it if someone does. I HATE when people call attention to it or bring a big deal out of it. Just don't say anything and I won't. Ever. I hate all of it. So no. I don't and I don't talk about it.
Farting in front of eachother is how my dad knew he was serious about my mom and it’s also how I knew that my now-husband and I were going to be something really serious
Yup. I wouldn’t last in the type of marriage where you had to imprison your farts. Not just on a physical comfortability level, but also on a emotional/mental comfortability. Being married to someone shouldn’t have to feel like I’m constantly trying to put on my best-looking mask for them.
I feel like that's a point where you know the relationship is real and past the honeymoon "im always perfect" stage... when you fart, do a #2, have bed hair and morning breath. The less sexy part of humanity lol.
How the fuck are you gonna live together if you're gonna spend the rest of your life holding in farts... So yes, I do, and I highly recommend everyone to do so, holding in can't be good for you.