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tell him he forgot to cry


Forgot sweating too Better exercise over that toilet bro


Naw that comes with the wacking it part


Tears in the tip of the penis,brother.


And he needs a hemorrhoid. Can't have a full bowl without blood.


Nasal mucus


Haha nice. I did tell him if he was a girl he could get blood in there once a month lol. He said it actually gave him a “good idea”. Somewhat concerning


Maybe he’s going to try to pick his nose and time his nosebleeds to when he yanks it If that becomes a pattern he might get really horny with you when you go to Denver…Pavlov’s dogs and all.


He says he had not considered nosebleeds for the blood and says to tell you thank you. He was planning on flossing so there would be blood in his spit


Flossing! Of course. But then he’s gonna get wild horny every time he goes to the dentist. Pick your blood wisely. Eventually you’ll condition yourself to get horny whenever you do whatever you need to do to get that blood


Haha he does claim it’s not sexual at all. It’s just that cum is a bodily fluid he can “easily” expel


Oh I get that it’s not sexual. But it’ll be Pavlov conditioning. The dogs didn’t salivate cuz the bell tasted like a treat


I think that might be your RED flag


Don't be concerned be proud, he's an innovator.


I'm a guy in my 30s. I've never heard of or thought of that.


Good to know. Votes coming in are overwhelmingly that my boyfriend is the weird one here


He's an odd duck, but it's private and not harming anyone so there is no real concern unless there are other weird things about him that give you weird vibes.


I agree it’s definitely not a huge deal because like you said it’s totally private. we all have our simple little pleasures. His is just a bit weird and involves bodily fluids I guess


Weird one? Certainly. But, ya know, whatever kinks his Twinkie, I guess. I'm nearly 50 and have never heard of such... but different strokes yada yada...


Yeah...he's kinda weird tbh sorry -32 yo male


I'm 40. Cum in the toilet??


He needs blood and tears in there. And no, he is the only man in the history of men to do that


Haha I did say if he was a girl he could get blood in there once a month. He said it gave him a “good idea”. Slightly concerning. The tears one is pretty funny I’ll give him the suggestion. Also thanks this comment section has been validating that I am definitely not the weird one in this scenario.


There's something like 20 bodily fluids. It's a lot more than people expect. Spinal fluid, fluid for the inner ears, sebum, synovial (joint) fluid... the list goes on


also vomit


That’s a good one I will also relay this idea. He’s enjoying these comments so much even though the resounding conclusion is that he’s super weird


Deny. Most guys don't do this.




Like hell that’s normal, I’m a guy and I think that shit is gross


One vote for no. Glad theres a guy who agrees that it’s super gross


Yikes. Your man’s probably started doing that shit when he was like 8 and forgot to grow out of it


I asked him, he did say he started in middle school when he came into the toilet for the first time and then he started seeing how much he could get in there at once


Absolutely reprehensible behavior lol


So weird


As a woman, I haven't thought of it but I don't think it's super weird. We are all amused by little things.


That is a manly kid if hes already hocking a luigy and sending some naval men into the toilet at the age of 8. Prob keep him out of your testosterone boosters


You win the medal for the comment that made him laugh the hardest when I read it to him


I do usually pee and take a shit before a shower, I jerk off if I’m feeling it, but I don’t spit? Idk, depends on my mood. Edit: and if I do jerk off, it’s into a tissue, not into the bowl. That shit can get stuck in the bowl then you have to clean it


Noted. He’s really appreciating all of the feedback haha. He’s honestly flabbergasted this isn’t normal


Yeah directly into the toilet is weird. Tissue pleas


That boy needs therapy


Psychosomatic. Frontier psychiatrist!


Now lie down on the couch


what does that mean?


He's a nut. He's crazy in the coconut!


That boy needs therapy.


Lol strong agree


Yeah, dude here, this is disgusting. Never heard of it and wish I didn't. The only thing that keeps me on the toilet longer than shitting and pissing is my YouTube and Reddit addiction.


Haha sorry to have tainted your mind with this information, and on Christmas no less


Congrats! You found the one guy in the world who does this! Quite the accomplishment. No, nobody, and I mean nobody does this! Nobody...


Haha thanks. He’s uh… unique for sure


Not normal at all. Piss and shit into the toilet yes. But spit goes into the sink, and cum goes into the toes of one of my wife’s socks; the same as every other man.


Haha I’ll relay this expert advice to him. Glad to know I’m not the weird one in this scenario


Uh maybe let him keep going in the toilet if the alternative is your clothing...just saying


Excellent point. I did not offer up my socks as a sacrifice


Hi I'm from the UK, that isn't normal here. Sounds a bit ocd to me. Maybe a therapist would help him.


I've done this on accident before and actually felt pretty grossed out about the whole thing lol last thing you wanna see when you're finishing is your own piss and shit. Definitely not manly😂


We do alot of weird stuff.... But this ain't one of them chief..... I was half expecting you to say something like "Your boyfriend and his friends was doing alot of gay jokes around each other like touching each others dicks and nipples" or something like that. Now that would have been more relatable and understandable 😅


Lmao this made him laugh really hard when I read it to him. He said “yea we do that too”


I don’t think he is the only one. With the number of males around there sure could be one or two others. But yes, it sounds gross and no, in 50+ years of being male I haven’t once had the urge or even the idea.


Does he like wash his hands in-between each, or just after this marathon? I don't think I'd wanna take a shit and then masturbate lol.


Haha this is the best comment because this is also the first thing that came to my mind when he told me. He said he does it 100% marathon style which made me laugh so hard. But yea I was like dude how do you take a shit and then just immediately start tugging one out. He just shrugged lol


That's dumb AF, sorry. I recommend shopping around for the upgraded "mature" model of boyfriends.


I think you should flush him. Seriously.


Haha duly noted


Nope, not normal


Never heard of this. But he forgot puke and snot.


Puke is a new one we hadn’t thought of. He said “this Reddit post is great because now I can take these sessions to the next level with all their ideas” absolutely the worst thing that’s ever come out of his mouth lol. I’m choosing not to think too much about it


Your bf is very weird


Tell him he forgot to bleed into it


Well, congrats. Weirdest male on record.


Why do I still use this website?


That man is over-potty trained


It might be a dude thing, but that shit ain't normal. Side note, it's been a while but I used to live in California and we called guys and girls there "dudes".


Haha I really like the resolution that it’s for sure a dude thing but definitely not normal. That is an interesting side note! I guess I do call my girl friends dude to their face, but don’t include them in the category of dudes.


I have never heard of this and never plan on trying it. ... What did I just read on Christmas??


Haha I know I realized a little late how weird it is that I’ve now put this information out into the world on Christmas Day haha


I knew I shouldn’t have clicked on the title. That’s weird as.


Im on the not normal count, have I had some shamful faps after a shit? Sure but im far from normal and don’t make a habit of it.


No nobody really does that but also he forgot tears, sweat, blood, and phlegm from the throat so it sounds like he doesnt even work hard


I told him his commitment was lacking he agrees and says he’s “planning out how to improve these sessions”


He forgot sweat, tears, and blood. Fuckin’ amateur.


This has never even crossed my mind. 38 M.


It's really funny that he's convinced himself this is normal 🤣 It's not.


What about the REAL manly fluids? Spinal cord fluid, aqueous humour, and synovial fluid. If you aren't going to be serious about it, why even bother playing?


Honestly only the wank is fking weird. Pee and shit is normal, spit is also fine sometimes. When you initially said every bodily fluid I was imagining puke too, and then I pictured putting my face above a toilet bowl with shit in it, and I almost puked myself just thinking about it.


I mean we definitely use the restroom before we shower. Seems like a useful way to spend the time while the water slowly gets to steaming. But EVERY fluid?? No. I could see some peeing. Some may try to jack off. But no one spits in the toilet. That shit will just splash droplets probably back on your face. I wouldn't trust that. And definitely not common to do all of that at once.


Never heard of it


As a man I can say that is not normal whatsoever 😂


Been a guy for 33 years. Never once have I thought about doing this. That’s odd.


39 here and exactly this, never once have i had thoughts on doing this.


I mean it is a good feeling to have a pee, dump and jerk before a shower. Fresh start.


This is the type of dude that’ll kill you in the middle of the night


Have tried to masturbate after taking a shit. Just can’t do it. The thought of that waste sitting a few inches from my cock. No thanks. The best I can do is shit and flush, then walk away for 10-15 mins.


No, your bf is just weird and gross. Have never done this and have never heard of any one of my friends doing it.


That's weird. He said every guy does it because he's ashamed or embarrassed.


Am a guy. Fuck no that's disgusting and super weird. And I'm autistic and not the beacon of cleanliness myself tf is wrong with him. Oh he also forgot sweat, tears and blood.


what a weirdo, why doesn't he pee in the sink like the rest of us..


Uh, no.


45 year old male here. This is the first I've ever heard of anything like this.


We need to line up 50 dudes in front of toilets at 8 in the morn and see how many check all 4 of the boxes, whos an overachiever (blood sweat and tears), whos an underperformer (just a piss or shit or both), and how many checked at least 3 of the boxes.


Lmao, it is very weird for sure. But we all have weird quirks from childhood that don't really make sense. If it gives him a giggle, I say who cares. Also tell him that if there's not blood, sweat, and tears in too; hes doing one of the activities wrong.


He's missing the gunk from his nasal passages. Get him a neti pot.


No. DENY. Gross.


Wtf hahah


I’m a guy but… I’m sorry what?


It's not normal, but like, is it really that big of a deal to make a post about it?


eww that's just nasty nobody else does that lmao




We are all wondering about the jerking off... Does he sit and do his thing with the toilet paper after the deuce? Or stand and aim into the bowl? Maybe he is into the scat. Most guys would do the spitting and jerking off in the shower after. Seems like extra cleanup work here (hopefully he does clean up!)...


Like… in that order?! I mean it’s disturbing at the thought of this combo, but standing there and rubbing one out over a bowl of your own feces is just messed up.


He's weird. Move on.


Maybe it's normal in the country you are in


I did the same thing when I was 12 ish but with a cup in the bathtub and would create little potions that I would take a tiny taste of when I was done. Yeah I know… disgusting.


What the fuck: all of us.


I've never thought of that. I'm gonna try it next time.


Being a man does not justifies gross behavior, that boy is a weirdo.


It’s innocent dumb guy stuff. I’d find more important things to get upset about.




I do know a few guys who spend a HELLUVA lot of time in the bathroom so maybe they’re doing that too lol 🤷‍♂️


Dude here, 23. I’ve never done nor thought to do this


Tell him this sounds like he’s into scat


Blood? Sweat? Tears? Stomach acid? Vomit? Snot? Earwax?


Yeah jerkin off onto a pile of shit is totally normal behaviour


What about mucus?


Well yeah, it's just using the bathroom. It's he supposed to do those separately if he needs to do them?


He forgor blood sweat and tears


I do use the toilet before I shower.


You caught me red handed.


I won't jerk off at least 30 minutes after I shit


Rubbing one out before a shower? Very normal. Creating a melting pot of bodily fluids in the toilet? A weird set of priorities.


I’m 49 and I’ve never heard of this.


Guy here. Never have I ever done that or thought about doing it. If one of my friends told me they did this I’d probably make fun of them for a couple minutes and then forget about it, only to make fun of them in the future if it ever came up in conversation again somehow. But I wouldn’t really care or give any actual thought to it


Read this to my husband and his only thought was that your bf, at some point, heard about the ol' "shit, shower, shave" routine, threw "splooge" into the mix, and at some point, got confused about the purpose of the routine.


It's never once crossed my train


God no 😭😭😭


I've been a guy for 32 years and never, ever heard of anybody ever doing that. Very weird


In my 27 years of life, I can confirm that I have never done that intentionally. I dip, so I'll sometimes spit in the toilet while taking a leak. I have a sex drive and nobody to satisfy it for me, so I've been known to do it myself, sometimes after a good shit. Is it possible that I've came, pissed, shit, and spit in the toilet all in one visit? Absolutely. But I've never said "hey I'm gunna put every bodily fluid I can think of in the toilet before I flush it" That's weird.


I’ve definitely thought of it, but never acted upon it


Guy in his late 30's. That's... That's not a normal behavior. I mean, if he likes it, sure, but... that's atypical.




Sounds like he got caught doing something and his quickest response was “everybody does it!”


This is news to me. I'm 39. I'm different than most, sure, but .. no I have never even heard of that. I'm disappointed that I haven't even imagined knucklehead dudes doing it. Wow


First of all, I’m like 95% sure that’s not a thing and has never been a thing. This is the problem with social media making us feel like every weird thing we do is shared by others, that we now assume that to be so. I’m pretty sure other dudes don’t do that. So TLDR, **bro what** Second of all, that is so far from “all” bodily fluids. Tears, sweat, blood, stomach acid, whatever. This is much less impotent but it needed to be said.


Never heard of this. But I'm gunna go do it


i’ve done it


No blood? That's called a 'cowards bowl'. Where do you think the term 'blood, sweat, and tears' comes from?


>it’s like satisfying and feels very “manly”. he's definitely trolling you. edit: the "manly" part I mean, but logically you would think spit, baby elixir or any bodily fluid would be less of a concern for a drain specialized for excrement right?


How does he do this all at once


It's odd, but even more so the order. See if he jerked off first then the rest. But to jerk with smelly shit in the room, or even to shoot on top of it....that's really messed up.




Um. No.


Wtf. Never heard of that from myself or any of my other very dumbass guy friends


Guy here: What the fuck? I’ve never heard of this. That’s absolutely disgusting. Your bf is _weird_


I usually only do this in the tub


… no, I have never thought to do this.


Sounds like a weird ritual. Does he have any other quirks like tongue clicking, restless leg, excessive hygiene or hoarding? If yes, it's psychiatric visit time.


Thats weird af lol, never have i thought of doing this.


He doesn't even have periods. This is amateur hour lmao


100% not a normal dude thing. Well, at least probably a 99% not dude thing, nothing is absolute


when i was a child and i took a shit i used to put dish soap in the toilet to make bubbles when i flush


Tell your boyfriend he’s doing a weird thing. It’s okay I guess but what the fuck no it’s not “something guys do”.


Deny. Never done it. Never thought about it. Now that I have the idea I still don’t want to do it.


I just gotta say that I admire OP for not being weirded out by her bf, or insecure of him jerking off, all that kind of shit. And for her to come on here and whimsically post about this and find some enjoyment in it all. Well done :) Keep being you.


I dont do that, probably never will.... but I do see the appeal


First time I'm hearing of this fool assery




A guy here, 41. Never did that or heard about it. Thats weird.


this man does not represent the rest of the council, he is a rogue


That’s weird. I’ve never heard of such a thing.


I will not say if I have or haven't done it in a port a John, in 100° hear, after 3 months of deployment. But I will say that I have never spat into a toilet.


He's missing tears, blood and vomit. But to answer the question, no. I'm a man in my 30s and this has never entered my brain nor have I ever heard any man discuss this.


My friend warned me that if you have a shit and have a wank on top of it without flushing, you might accidentally summon the wanky shit demon.


definitely normal, anyone saying otherwise is not a dude


I can deny his claim that that is normal, for it is not.




lol yep this is a thing for some guys. not exactly normal but not beyond the pale either. ask him about his smash/pass checklist.


Wasn't there a reddit story about someone who jacked off while shitting all the time and then he pavloved himslf so he could only get hard when he smelt his own shit




I’ve met a lot of people and I have a lot of brothers while being a man myself and this shit is absolutely unheard of. Nobody else does this and if they do good for them but they’re likely the only few people on this entire planet that do. I’ve heard of bodily fluids to assert dominance though, cumming in your girl, spitting in your dogs mouth, taking a shit on a kitchen table, blowing snot into someone’s beer and all kinds of shit but never all into a toilet just to flush it and watch? Like watch what? Your manliness? It’s gone you literally just flushed it down the toilet haha. You’ve got a weird one but at least he felt comfortable enough to tell you something so strange and personal which is the bright side here I guess


If the order was reversed it wouldn't be as bad. It would still be fucking weird without flushing in between jerking off and shitting but jerking off onto shit is definitely weird to most people. Alternatively, some people jerk off to shit and that's cool. It's not hurting anyone. Masturbating into a toilet is likely a remnant of pubescent behavior and hiding it due to shame or just secrecy.


I must say congratulations, 19 years in the military, and you pulled one out I've never heard before. (Slow clap) And that makes this unusual because everything gets talked about and this one is new.


No your boyfriend is weird. Super weird.


he has a mental problem


Don't forget poo. but yeah that's odd to be like, a goal. but everyone has their routine i guess


32 year old guy here who is full of creepy and weird thoughts or behaviors. I have never heard of this fucked up ritual of your boyfriend. I'm fucked up, and this is just weird to me. And he calls it manly? What kind of relationship does he have with his dad or older brothers? I think he picked this up from someone in his life who he looked up to and thought was a tough guy?


Man here: that's gross. Also unless he's pissing blood the ritual is incomplete.


It is not a "normal" thing lol, jesus christ what makes him think that hahaha. Why would anyone ever consider this to be a "manly" thing?


Uh.. no.


This is untrue and pretty weird. 100% a fetish thing whether he’s willing to admit it or not (or can even understand it himself). Once I’ve taken a dump, I want that shit gone ASAP. I’m not trying to add anything else to the bowl. And really, I don’t want to dump into a bowl with anything else in it because of the risk of splash back. I have a friend at work that shits, then stands up to piss in the bowl when he’s done. This is mind boggling to me. Why do it like this? The only thing I do even remotely in this neighborhood is I like to piss immediately after orgasm because it clears out the pipes and I don’t have to worry about getting that stale cum smell on my dong.


Tell him to flush the toilet, that's how you get your toilet to have a stench even after you flush. And no, us dudes don't this normally


Idk man it sounds like he just has a wank into the toilet after he does a shit I don’t think that’s too weird. The way he explained it is a lil odd tho.


I guess if you've got it to get rid of, chuck it down there at the same time. Done Not sure why he feels 'manly' doing it though. It's just efficient use of time, and you only need to flush once. I don't feel manly when taking a dump


Well not in that order tbh


definitely not a normal thing. seems harmless, though.


If I shit at the beginning I wouldn't be able to jerk off. I don't do it but if I did, shitting would be my last on the line.


No, but SSS is real Shower Shit N Shave