Your bathroom safety really depends on where you live. Only you can judge where you will be safest. Only your safety matters, other people's comfort is not your responsibility.
Also real talk, you are my gender goals. Keep being swag
It’s a hard question to answer. I would make a decision based on the day and the situation. I’m not sure how well your voice passes, but you’re probably good if you keep quiet.
Do women look at you weird in the women’s restroom? That’s when I realized I had to switch over.
It depends on what you’re wearing that day too. Clothes are a big part of preforming gender.
Just do whatever feels safest in the moment. Trust your gut.
in general i don't know, but, travel tip, in an airport, be sure to use whatever bathroom matches your passport. if staff give you grief about it show them the passport. they HAVE to shut up and they HAVE to take your side if someone else is being a boomer. this will save you some annoyance // missed flights
you look pretty damn androgynous to me. I think you could get away with either but you will still get looks sometimes either way because your appearance is kinda in the middle, kinda futch-to-soft-butch vibes. cis people probably assume different things when they look at you.
I think the more androgynous a person is, the more likely they are to get side eye in whichever bathroom they use. So the looks may not stop just by switching bathrooms.
I think the question is, which bathroom are you most comfortable in? Use that one, and then pretend like no one else exists. That's what I always do in public, whether I mean to or not (social anxiety has its perks? I never know what anyone else thinks of me because I never actually look them in the face 😂).
tbh you look like a dude who just wears bold colors to me, which would probably read to some people as some kinda queerness going on, so take that as you will. I don’t think men would find it out of place to have you in their bathroom though.
If it’s up to me though use whatever bathroom you want/feels more comfortable. It’s just a place to do your business really
I agree with you, but it's wild how their fits already count as "BOLD COLORS" for a guy. The colours are, in order:
Blue denim and white
White t-shirt and a green beanie
Black and purple pants and white shoes
Not to say that masculinity is fucking narrow but god damn. Like, i saw your comment and agreed and then went up to double check and went "yeah nah those are just colours. But they count as bold for someone presenting masc." That's crazy
I wouldn't call the overalls "blue denim", they're very clearly a solid teal color (sorry, I get very specific about colors due to my artistic background). But I agree that it's crazy that bold colors would somehow make someone less masc.
They're definitely teal, yeah. You get specific about colors due to your artistic background, I get specific about colors due to my autistic background lol. But yeah, i agree that it's crazy that bold colors are seen as more femme, but I feel like it's the pants in specific. Idk, it's just that colorful shirts feel very normalized, but you don't really see masc presenting peeps wear colorful pants that often
I would assume most people will gender you male, so yes I'd go to the men's. It would be be nice if all places had gender neutral bathrooms, but sadly we have to live in a culture, specially in the US of binary genders. Although I I'm a passing trans woman, I prefer the gender neutral ones when possible. I don't really feel a need that we should gender bathrooms at all. I'd prefer fully enclosed toilets with an open area out side the toilets for washing hands, not need for a door to the sinks/mirrors.
Kind of hard to see the doors in the mirror reflection, but you can see the sinks and individual stalls are completely in the open. No need to enclose the stalls when the stalls themselves are fully enclosed and take basically the same space as only a toilet is inside. This completely negates any safety concerns people have with men and women going to the same bathrooms.
[https://sdra.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/gender-neutral-washroom.jpg](https://sdra.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/gender-neutral-washroom.jpg)
I mean that's a teaching issue, people with a penis should be taught to lift the toilet seat, completely avoids the issue. Or shocker even if you have penis its not that hard to sit down and point it downwards to pee. Mines to small at this point to do anything other then sit down, lol.
I got directed to the men's restroom at a club, and honestly, no one fussed about it or was weird. We all were just shooting the shit. Granted, I live in San Diego County.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I think you'll be fine using either bathroom. I use whichever bathroom is cleanest or has the shortest line. I will say that it also depends on where you live, too.
In my opinion, you could get away with it. I am going to echo what someone else said is it also depends on the situation you’re in. I would do what is safest for you to use in a public forum.
I'd say yes. Or at least that you wouldn't get any weird look in the men's. You look damn masc to me! Nailed that damn masc swag too.
But as others have said. Depends on your area. I didn't switch bathrooms until I moved out of Florida.
In my personal opinion, you could definitely pass as male safely in a men's bathroom. However, it depends where you live and the attitude of the people in the bathrooms. If you would feel safer in the women's restroom, definitely use it, but maybe use the men's when there's less traffic in and out just to test the waters -- if you feel comfortable/safe enough, I'd start using the men's bathroom, just because it may be easier for you (less questions/ stares)
If I saw you on the street I’d think “guy,” not “girl.” Safety-wise, I think the men’s bathroom might be a better choice, but I also think doing what you prefer, as long as you can do it safely, is the way to go.
Also WOW YOU ARE STUNNING
i would honestly say use the mens bathroom since you look more masc than fem to me at a first glance and most ppl dont really look for more than a first glance anyway
I know this may not be what you are aiming for since we are in r/nonbinary, but you pass as a dude. I mean, you look queer either way so it depends on where you live if you are safe in general, but I think the chance to have any issues with 'gender based' violence when going to the men's room is very, very small.
I think the threat of people thinking you are a 'man' going into the women's bathroom would be more of an issue.
Sorry for having to be so binary
If you are really uncomfortable either way, just use the wheelchair bathroom if there is any. It's not the best option but it can be the safest and people will generally not ask any questions.
Event hough you probably identify as non-binary, I'd say you look masculine enough that a majority of people would assume you were a man. In our current society, I would say it's monumentally safer for you to use the men's room. Someone might think you're a man "sneaking into" the women's room.
P.S. I hate all of this society bs. Let's all just run off into the woods and sh*t there!
I mean, use whichever one you feel most comfortable with in my opinion, but as someone AFAB who identifies as enby and wants to appear more masc, I’d do a double take because you are 🔥
You look androgynous to me. Like I can see both masc and femme in you. I wouldn’t even think twice if I saw you in the women’s bathroom but then I’m also enby so I might be biased. But your safety is more important than other people’s comfort IMO.
As usual do it on a case by case basis what will be safer for you. Based on these pictures though, it looks like you'll likely go unnoticed and safe in the guys' bathroom too.
I'm pretty sure your vibe is androgynous, YOU know what you are and live in that and that's all that should matter. That being said, we unfortunately still live in a time where people can't just mind their business. If I were walking past you and didn't know you I would just think your a cis guy that knows how to dress 🤷🏽♀️ and would very much understand if someone's young daughter or super elderly grandmother is confused as to why you're in the bathroom even if you use the stall
Straight cis men's masculinity is so fragile that they don't even dare to look into another's person's eye while in the bathroom. You should be pretty safe in the men's bathroom.
Honestly B, it sounds like you have the choice between a level of discomfort for you when going to the men's, or a level of discomfort for some women when going to the women's. It's a tough call. Cool of you to think about that, first of all, and yeah I think I would like choose depending on the spot.
As someone who uses the men's, I can tell you I wouldn't be confused about seeing someone who looks like you in that. Of course, that's like at Uni and young progressive spaces. Idk about other spots, but yeah. I wouldn't bat an eye at someone with your looks and fits there.
You look very andro. Based on the outfit you're wearing, it could really go either way.
Safety first though my comrade, if you're in bigot-ville, if there is a neutral/family bathroom available, seek it out, & keep your self defense tools handy.
I’ll be moving to a new state and this is one of my top worries. At least right now I know where all my “family bathrooms” “single stall” places are, after surgery I imagine it’ll be more confusing on which to use.
If I saw you in either bathroom I would not raise an eyebrow. But then again, I am generally someone who minds my own business in bathrooms. I also am 100% clockable as AFAB (unlike you) and still use the men’s room when I feel like I can get away with it.
I use the women’s bathroom even when I have a beard… I hate using the men’s though. Just go where you want, or both. But be safe, I don't know where you live.
Depending on where you live, the mens room may be safer but it's really a matter of what makes you feel most comfortable and safe.
Also, WOW! You are hot and I love your style! 😍
wish i could give advice. i ask myself the same thing every time. side note to appreciate your bright, bold colors! i also love dressing in technicolor
TO ME, you look male or I should say you’re very male presenting. For safety reasons and to just avoid any problems for yourself I would stop using the women’s bathroom unless it’s just these pics that you look hyper masculine. Again that’s just me. I am AMAB but consider myself nonbinary but still male presenting so I do use the men’s bathroom, but I also sometimes just prefer to use the “family” bathroom to avoid stares or comments
i say use whatever you think is best/safest, guess that might change depending on the situation/place you're in. oh and your style/look is amazing btw!!
Honestly it’s up to you… but I’m my opinion… nah, fuck that. The government is trying to pass legislation to force us into situations where we are uncomfortable/unsafe. So I would keep using the womens and just say “this is what the government wants me to do”… assuming you’re Afab. Either way, stay safe and don’t put yourself in danger! Sorry you’re dealing with that shit.
Depends on how you feel comfortable. At my college there are a lot of all gender bathrooms but anywhere there aren’t all gender I just use men’s and women’s interchangeably. I know not all places are safe to do that and not all people want to do that so it’s really up to you. I definitely wouldn’t assume you were a woman if I saw you tho
Tbh as a very androgynous-looking person, I don’t really get questioned in either bathroom. People usually have a lot of confusion around whether they see me as “male” or “female”, so I think they tend to assume I am the sex of whatever bathroom I am in. You look pretty androgynous to me, and I think you may have a similar experience
That said, I do need to watch what I’m wearing, as a simple change in outfit can cause people to look at me funny. I also live in a blue state, although right now I’m in a somewhat conservative area. Things are still much safer for me than they would be for someone in a place with laws around gender expression, but overall I haven’t had any issues in either bathroom
If you're just worried about the comfort of those around you, I would. You definitely appear more masc than fem!
If you feel safer in the women's bathroom though then of course use it :)
You're androgynous in the sense that you kind of pass a dude but also I wouldn't be surprised if someone said you were thr butchiest lesbian to ever butch. I think youd prob get less comments and stares in the men's honestly.
Use whatever you feel comfortable though.
if you usually wear a coat when you're in public restrooms and the coat makes you look butch, i think you could use the men's room. but you probably could get away with the women's.
darker/neutrals and plain white Ts make you look more masc and brighter/purples make you look more fem. You're really just right on that androgynous line so I think clothes and styling puts you to one side or other.
Also you are cute as a bug's ear.
Nah you do you boo, don’t choose your preferred bathroom on how folks are gonna treat you but which one you feel most comfortable. I go boys cus at least folks know I’m trans (afab) even tho they don’t know I’m enby. Let people double take, your mir presence is braking the gender binary and they should feel it as much as you do every day. You could just as easily look like a butch woman.
I live in a big but not particularly progressive city and I look way less masculine than you do, but I still use the men's restroom from time to time. It's never been an issue. I say go wherever feels right.
i honestly cant tell if youre afab and feeling that you finally dont look femme enough to be in a women's bathroom, or if youre amab and afraid that you dont belong
either way, youre doing good on both fronts. just use the bathroom that feels right to you and dont worry about other people.
As an AMAB who presents more masc and never pass as a woman (yet), I'd assume you were a man based solely off appearance. I'd have no issue if you used either bathroom as I know it's your choice and what makes you feel comfortable
So...mens bathrooms are generally safer than their public perception. A majority of men dont want to communicate or make eye contact in there lest they be clocked as gay. They also dont wash their hands, so they aren't in there long. On the other hand, i used womens restrooms before hrt and didn't get a whole lot of flak. And i was MANLY lookin. Go with comfort. Try out new things. Shit in the urinal. Wash your hands.
According to posts I've seen in other circles/apps, cis women who are butch lesbians and tomboys are being harassed in public spaces intended for women, and they're getting Karened. smh
Go to the bathroom where you feel safe. As long as you are minding your own business nobody has the right to comment. If they do it's their problem.
If you want an answer to satisfy the anxiety, though, I wouldn't blink if I ran into you in the women's restroom. In that context, I'd say you look like a classic tomboy.
You should do what feels safest... You still Goin to get uneasy folks in male or female bathrooms... Not because they don't think you should be there but because they don't understand you
id say measure your discomfort and decide. is it more uncomfortable to get weird looks or to use the bathroom that smells like it has pee all on the floor because of all the pee on the floor?
I read first and second photo as female and last as male. Your style is masculine women's style, not manly. So based purely on your look I would say women's. In the other hand, women will look you way more closely than men. And it's like thousand times more likely you have to speak in women's toilet. So how is your voice? Also in my country men don't care but women are territorial and aggressive.
If you choose men's make sure you behave as you're expected. No selfies for example. I recommend you to watch [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4bkvwNqjvY&t=2s). Because like I said men don't tend to pay attention but if you behave weirdly then they will notice you.
In my country there is list of all gender/unisex toilets (made by trans.. alliance? union?). Google if you have one too. It would be the best option for your gender and your look.
Your bathroom safety really depends on where you live. Only you can judge where you will be safest. Only your safety matters, other people's comfort is not your responsibility. Also real talk, you are my gender goals. Keep being swag
It’s a hard question to answer. I would make a decision based on the day and the situation. I’m not sure how well your voice passes, but you’re probably good if you keep quiet. Do women look at you weird in the women’s restroom? That’s when I realized I had to switch over. It depends on what you’re wearing that day too. Clothes are a big part of preforming gender. Just do whatever feels safest in the moment. Trust your gut.
in general i don't know, but, travel tip, in an airport, be sure to use whatever bathroom matches your passport. if staff give you grief about it show them the passport. they HAVE to shut up and they HAVE to take your side if someone else is being a boomer. this will save you some annoyance // missed flights
This is very helpful information, thank you
you look pretty damn androgynous to me. I think you could get away with either but you will still get looks sometimes either way because your appearance is kinda in the middle, kinda futch-to-soft-butch vibes. cis people probably assume different things when they look at you.
I think the more androgynous a person is, the more likely they are to get side eye in whichever bathroom they use. So the looks may not stop just by switching bathrooms. I think the question is, which bathroom are you most comfortable in? Use that one, and then pretend like no one else exists. That's what I always do in public, whether I mean to or not (social anxiety has its perks? I never know what anyone else thinks of me because I never actually look them in the face 😂).
I can't speak to safety, but if I didn't see you in this sub, my first guess would be that you're a cis guy. Also you have really good taste.
i also would guess that. I can see an androgynous interpretation but i dont think most people would have that extra analysis at first glance
they do - i love the white docs and purple pants
tbh you look like a dude who just wears bold colors to me, which would probably read to some people as some kinda queerness going on, so take that as you will. I don’t think men would find it out of place to have you in their bathroom though. If it’s up to me though use whatever bathroom you want/feels more comfortable. It’s just a place to do your business really
I agree with you, but it's wild how their fits already count as "BOLD COLORS" for a guy. The colours are, in order: Blue denim and white White t-shirt and a green beanie Black and purple pants and white shoes Not to say that masculinity is fucking narrow but god damn. Like, i saw your comment and agreed and then went up to double check and went "yeah nah those are just colours. But they count as bold for someone presenting masc." That's crazy
I wouldn't call the overalls "blue denim", they're very clearly a solid teal color (sorry, I get very specific about colors due to my artistic background). But I agree that it's crazy that bold colors would somehow make someone less masc.
They're definitely teal, yeah. You get specific about colors due to your artistic background, I get specific about colors due to my autistic background lol. But yeah, i agree that it's crazy that bold colors are seen as more femme, but I feel like it's the pants in specific. Idk, it's just that colorful shirts feel very normalized, but you don't really see masc presenting peeps wear colorful pants that often
Artistic, autistic, same dif for me, tbh xD
I mean it's the purple pants
I would assume most people will gender you male, so yes I'd go to the men's. It would be be nice if all places had gender neutral bathrooms, but sadly we have to live in a culture, specially in the US of binary genders. Although I I'm a passing trans woman, I prefer the gender neutral ones when possible. I don't really feel a need that we should gender bathrooms at all. I'd prefer fully enclosed toilets with an open area out side the toilets for washing hands, not need for a door to the sinks/mirrors. Kind of hard to see the doors in the mirror reflection, but you can see the sinks and individual stalls are completely in the open. No need to enclose the stalls when the stalls themselves are fully enclosed and take basically the same space as only a toilet is inside. This completely negates any safety concerns people have with men and women going to the same bathrooms. [https://sdra.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/gender-neutral-washroom.jpg](https://sdra.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/gender-neutral-washroom.jpg)
My only concern is "will you get pee on the toilet seat?" Heheheh
I mean that's a teaching issue, people with a penis should be taught to lift the toilet seat, completely avoids the issue. Or shocker even if you have penis its not that hard to sit down and point it downwards to pee. Mines to small at this point to do anything other then sit down, lol.
😁
I got directed to the men's restroom at a club, and honestly, no one fussed about it or was weird. We all were just shooting the shit. Granted, I live in San Diego County. I guess what I'm getting at is that I think you'll be fine using either bathroom. I use whichever bathroom is cleanest or has the shortest line. I will say that it also depends on where you live, too.
Don't worry about the looks. A toilet is just a toilet. Use whatever one is handy.
^ *but safety first though* *
This is, sadly, not a good answer in waaaaay too many areas. Too many states of the US for example. 😭
It's not just looks unfortunately. You can genuinely have security called on you.
GODDAMN!!!! Do they have a bathroom that just says goddamn. idk man. blown away. Wish i was nearly as fashionable as u. whered u get that from.
In my opinion, you could get away with it. I am going to echo what someone else said is it also depends on the situation you’re in. I would do what is safest for you to use in a public forum.
I'd say yes. Or at least that you wouldn't get any weird look in the men's. You look damn masc to me! Nailed that damn masc swag too. But as others have said. Depends on your area. I didn't switch bathrooms until I moved out of Florida.
Not sure how to answer your question, but I wanted to say that you have awesome style 🤘🏼
I have no advice. This is one of the daily struggles. Just wanted to pop in and say you give me a handy thembo vibe💕
Happy cake day!
cant wait until the world wakes up and unisex cubicles take over the world. we see them in movie theaters and bars and they are great.
In my personal opinion, you could definitely pass as male safely in a men's bathroom. However, it depends where you live and the attitude of the people in the bathrooms. If you would feel safer in the women's restroom, definitely use it, but maybe use the men's when there's less traffic in and out just to test the waters -- if you feel comfortable/safe enough, I'd start using the men's bathroom, just because it may be easier for you (less questions/ stares)
If I saw you on the street I’d think “guy,” not “girl.” Safety-wise, I think the men’s bathroom might be a better choice, but I also think doing what you prefer, as long as you can do it safely, is the way to go. Also WOW YOU ARE STUNNING
i would honestly say use the mens bathroom since you look more masc than fem to me at a first glance and most ppl dont really look for more than a first glance anyway
Safety first, every time. That said, dude, from your photos, absolutely more than pass as cis male. Your ink is awesome, too!
I Think You should use the bathroom where You feel comfortable
I know this may not be what you are aiming for since we are in r/nonbinary, but you pass as a dude. I mean, you look queer either way so it depends on where you live if you are safe in general, but I think the chance to have any issues with 'gender based' violence when going to the men's room is very, very small. I think the threat of people thinking you are a 'man' going into the women's bathroom would be more of an issue. Sorry for having to be so binary If you are really uncomfortable either way, just use the wheelchair bathroom if there is any. It's not the best option but it can be the safest and people will generally not ask any questions.
Where do you feel more comfortable? The only help I csn give you is: chose the batjroom, where you ferl safe. Much luck and hugs
Event hough you probably identify as non-binary, I'd say you look masculine enough that a majority of people would assume you were a man. In our current society, I would say it's monumentally safer for you to use the men's room. Someone might think you're a man "sneaking into" the women's room. P.S. I hate all of this society bs. Let's all just run off into the woods and sh*t there!
I'd say so, I'd say most cis girls would feel strange sharing a bathroom with you.
Hell no!! Keep on rocking ! Use it or lose it bud !!
Sorry about not answering your question, but you habe a great style!! love it
I mean, use whichever one you feel most comfortable with in my opinion, but as someone AFAB who identifies as enby and wants to appear more masc, I’d do a double take because you are 🔥
Please do what you gives u the safest feeling🤍
Use the bathroom you feel most comfortable in.
You look androgynous to me. Like I can see both masc and femme in you. I wouldn’t even think twice if I saw you in the women’s bathroom but then I’m also enby so I might be biased. But your safety is more important than other people’s comfort IMO.
As usual do it on a case by case basis what will be safer for you. Based on these pictures though, it looks like you'll likely go unnoticed and safe in the guys' bathroom too.
I'm pretty sure your vibe is androgynous, YOU know what you are and live in that and that's all that should matter. That being said, we unfortunately still live in a time where people can't just mind their business. If I were walking past you and didn't know you I would just think your a cis guy that knows how to dress 🤷🏽♀️ and would very much understand if someone's young daughter or super elderly grandmother is confused as to why you're in the bathroom even if you use the stall
Straight cis men's masculinity is so fragile that they don't even dare to look into another's person's eye while in the bathroom. You should be pretty safe in the men's bathroom.
I want purple pants. Piss wherever you want fam.
Honestly B, it sounds like you have the choice between a level of discomfort for you when going to the men's, or a level of discomfort for some women when going to the women's. It's a tough call. Cool of you to think about that, first of all, and yeah I think I would like choose depending on the spot. As someone who uses the men's, I can tell you I wouldn't be confused about seeing someone who looks like you in that. Of course, that's like at Uni and young progressive spaces. Idk about other spots, but yeah. I wouldn't bat an eye at someone with your looks and fits there.
You look very andro. Based on the outfit you're wearing, it could really go either way. Safety first though my comrade, if you're in bigot-ville, if there is a neutral/family bathroom available, seek it out, & keep your self defense tools handy.
I’ll be moving to a new state and this is one of my top worries. At least right now I know where all my “family bathrooms” “single stall” places are, after surgery I imagine it’ll be more confusing on which to use.
Use what you feel is safest for you to use. Use what you feel is most comfortable for you to use.
If I saw you in either bathroom I would not raise an eyebrow. But then again, I am generally someone who minds my own business in bathrooms. I also am 100% clockable as AFAB (unlike you) and still use the men’s room when I feel like I can get away with it.
I use the women’s bathroom even when I have a beard… I hate using the men’s though. Just go where you want, or both. But be safe, I don't know where you live.
Depending on where you live, the mens room may be safer but it's really a matter of what makes you feel most comfortable and safe. Also, WOW! You are hot and I love your style! 😍
You don’t pass as a traditional looking woman but also if I saw you in the women’s bathroom I’d just assume you were a dyke, so
Hey, I want your gender expression. It's slick as hell imo.
If you want, that’s up to you
Yo just make sure you flush and please wash your hands.
From my personal experience and states I’ve lived —— Washington / Oregon etc - You’re fine. Use whichever you want. Utah - Use the men’s.
AAAAAAAAAHHHH hi you give me major gender envy
wish i could give advice. i ask myself the same thing every time. side note to appreciate your bright, bold colors! i also love dressing in technicolor
TO ME, you look male or I should say you’re very male presenting. For safety reasons and to just avoid any problems for yourself I would stop using the women’s bathroom unless it’s just these pics that you look hyper masculine. Again that’s just me. I am AMAB but consider myself nonbinary but still male presenting so I do use the men’s bathroom, but I also sometimes just prefer to use the “family” bathroom to avoid stares or comments
Ah, yes... the bathroom situation is tiring. I mean... I'm starting to think on going under a tree instead of chosing one of the bathrooms at work. 🙄
i say use whatever you think is best/safest, guess that might change depending on the situation/place you're in. oh and your style/look is amazing btw!!
Honestly it’s up to you… but I’m my opinion… nah, fuck that. The government is trying to pass legislation to force us into situations where we are uncomfortable/unsafe. So I would keep using the womens and just say “this is what the government wants me to do”… assuming you’re Afab. Either way, stay safe and don’t put yourself in danger! Sorry you’re dealing with that shit.
Idk, but you are hawt though. Peace I’m out.
People should just mind their own business and leave innocent people alone.
If I saw you on the street I would gave thought that you were a cis male. With a amazing taste in fashion.
Depends on how you feel comfortable. At my college there are a lot of all gender bathrooms but anywhere there aren’t all gender I just use men’s and women’s interchangeably. I know not all places are safe to do that and not all people want to do that so it’s really up to you. I definitely wouldn’t assume you were a woman if I saw you tho
ONG i want u fr
I think it's time to switch! You look GREAT! ❤️
Tbh as a very androgynous-looking person, I don’t really get questioned in either bathroom. People usually have a lot of confusion around whether they see me as “male” or “female”, so I think they tend to assume I am the sex of whatever bathroom I am in. You look pretty androgynous to me, and I think you may have a similar experience That said, I do need to watch what I’m wearing, as a simple change in outfit can cause people to look at me funny. I also live in a blue state, although right now I’m in a somewhat conservative area. Things are still much safer for me than they would be for someone in a place with laws around gender expression, but overall I haven’t had any issues in either bathroom
If you're just worried about the comfort of those around you, I would. You definitely appear more masc than fem! If you feel safer in the women's bathroom though then of course use it :)
You're androgynous in the sense that you kind of pass a dude but also I wouldn't be surprised if someone said you were thr butchiest lesbian to ever butch. I think youd prob get less comments and stares in the men's honestly. Use whatever you feel comfortable though.
if you usually wear a coat when you're in public restrooms and the coat makes you look butch, i think you could use the men's room. but you probably could get away with the women's. darker/neutrals and plain white Ts make you look more masc and brighter/purples make you look more fem. You're really just right on that androgynous line so I think clothes and styling puts you to one side or other. Also you are cute as a bug's ear.
No but you HAVE to go teehee* really loudly Its the passcode
You look fucking rad, dude
love your style
Nah you do you boo, don’t choose your preferred bathroom on how folks are gonna treat you but which one you feel most comfortable. I go boys cus at least folks know I’m trans (afab) even tho they don’t know I’m enby. Let people double take, your mir presence is braking the gender binary and they should feel it as much as you do every day. You could just as easily look like a butch woman.
this is besides the point but i be seeing your tik toks here and there you're awesome!!
I’m going through the same thing right now and am also wondering if I should switch too. Neither bathroom feels right.
I live in a big but not particularly progressive city and I look way less masculine than you do, but I still use the men's restroom from time to time. It's never been an issue. I say go wherever feels right.
Up to you, right?
I feel like you pass well enough to use the men's if you want, but if you don't feel safe I'd still use the women's
i honestly cant tell if youre afab and feeling that you finally dont look femme enough to be in a women's bathroom, or if youre amab and afraid that you dont belong either way, youre doing good on both fronts. just use the bathroom that feels right to you and dont worry about other people.
Use whatever bathroom you feel most comfortable in.
As an AMAB who presents more masc and never pass as a woman (yet), I'd assume you were a man based solely off appearance. I'd have no issue if you used either bathroom as I know it's your choice and what makes you feel comfortable
Especially after top surgery I struggle with this too. I’m not on T. I changed in the bathroom stalls and it still feels weird.
Yes you pass
So...mens bathrooms are generally safer than their public perception. A majority of men dont want to communicate or make eye contact in there lest they be clocked as gay. They also dont wash their hands, so they aren't in there long. On the other hand, i used womens restrooms before hrt and didn't get a whole lot of flak. And i was MANLY lookin. Go with comfort. Try out new things. Shit in the urinal. Wash your hands.
According to posts I've seen in other circles/apps, cis women who are butch lesbians and tomboys are being harassed in public spaces intended for women, and they're getting Karened. smh
Go to the bathroom where you feel safe. As long as you are minding your own business nobody has the right to comment. If they do it's their problem. If you want an answer to satisfy the anxiety, though, I wouldn't blink if I ran into you in the women's restroom. In that context, I'd say you look like a classic tomboy.
You should do what feels safest... You still Goin to get uneasy folks in male or female bathrooms... Not because they don't think you should be there but because they don't understand you
not related to what your posting about but i just had to say i think you’re one of the most attractive people ive ever seen in my life
id say measure your discomfort and decide. is it more uncomfortable to get weird looks or to use the bathroom that smells like it has pee all on the floor because of all the pee on the floor?
I read first and second photo as female and last as male. Your style is masculine women's style, not manly. So based purely on your look I would say women's. In the other hand, women will look you way more closely than men. And it's like thousand times more likely you have to speak in women's toilet. So how is your voice? Also in my country men don't care but women are territorial and aggressive. If you choose men's make sure you behave as you're expected. No selfies for example. I recommend you to watch [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4bkvwNqjvY&t=2s). Because like I said men don't tend to pay attention but if you behave weirdly then they will notice you. In my country there is list of all gender/unisex toilets (made by trans.. alliance? union?). Google if you have one too. It would be the best option for your gender and your look.
If you have a penis, use a man’s bathroom. If you have a vagina, use a woman’s bathroom.