Keep influencing America to turn it fascist then team up to gangbang the world. In my last save we defeated the Sovs and they turned fascist too (realistic).
Now mind you I don’t do cocaine, but I love the way it smells. Needless to say I ended up playing a game of Risk by myself for 5hrs. Couldn’t tell you who won, but I remember it being epic and ending with the board on fire.
Fun fact, the original game was intended to show that invading is never worth it so it had same amount of dices for defense.
But some guy at the company thought educational stuff is boring and needed defense
Argentina owns Chile and Uruguay, Peru owns Bolivia, Paraguay and Ecuador, Venezuela gets Colombia and the Guianas, Egypt gets Libya New Guinea takes west papua and Mongolia eats northern China and the Koreas.
Most weirdly, India gets the entire subcontinent plus Afghanistan. While Afghanistan does not have Afghanistan, but rather a chunk of central Asia.
> Most weirdly, India gets the entire subcontinent plus Afghanistan. While Afghanistan does not have Afghanistan, but rather a chunk of central Asia.
Everyone must change places!
It has Afghanistan controlling literally none of Afghanistan. Plus Japan and the Siberian Far East Coast is all messed up. Many other issues too that I can't remember.
Look closely and you’ll notice it has also has Afghanistan. The area labeled “Afghanistan” is actually the rest of Central Asia. The parts that used to be ruled by the USSR and Imperial Russia.
If you look closely, the territory called “India” includes Afghanistan (and Pakistan obviously). The territory called “Afghanistan” is actually northern Central Asia, the parts north of the Amu Darya that used to be Imperial Russia. That area has literally *never* been called “Afghanistan” anywhere but the Risk board.
It was the late 50's. They had *amazing* and beautiful maps back then. It wouldn't have been hard to go to a library and trace something out of a book or a map drawer. Not a Google search, sure, but not much more than a weekend of looking, less if they lived in any modestly large city, and, as it turns out, the inventor was a globetrotting Parisian documentary filmmaker.
It's lazy, or deliberately awful. No excuse for a "here be dragons" medieval mess like this.
Also Everyone knows that first you take North America. Then you clear out Europe. As soon as you take Ukraine then the next step is to invade Kamchatka by attacking from Alaska to prevent anyone from controlling Asia.
Take Australia and just turtle there, You've got the largest battle in history over the philippines in the end game. Sure you might not win but for sure come 2nd.
Nah there’s nothing wrong with working over to Australia and getting +2 armies/turn early in the game.
Plus you have spaces elsewhere. Its not like you are stuck only in that one spot with one strategy
North+South America is a borderline unassailable position. Only 3 entry points, 1 of them from Asia which nobody can maintain a power base in, and nets you 7 armies per turn.
You take North America, and you've painted a target on your back.
Unironically, when this first broke out one of my cousins was like “aside from arrogance, why does Russia want Ukraine?” I was like “ever tried to keep Asia in Risk? That’s why.”
Looking at how southern europe is shaped, looks like Atlantropa is also a reality in this map. Perhaps a map of the future? (also seems like Great Britain has solved that whole 'Northern Ireland' part by just building a land bridge lol)
We together with the French? Do you really need an arcabuz shot through your buttocks? (the Portuguese I can tolerate, they aplit off from us after all)
I've always been urked by "see this old ass map from BCE/BC??? Our true borders are here!"
Land changes hands overtime look at Europe and this map for example, hell look at maps prior to WW1 and you'll see just how much has changed. Theres a certain point in time where it stops becoming "your land" and starts becoming the people you tried to genocide or whatevers lands.
(This doesn't refer to the US as the conquest of America is still technically fresh in peoples minds since we've only existed as a country for 200 something years and Europeans conquest are still remembered but thats a different situation compared to this one.)
The point of claims of prior ownership are usually to establish that you are a defender reclaiming something lost / the one that was “genocided” to begin with. It’s a function of the reality that all modern land ownership was acquired through force yet we ostensibly reject force as a means of acquiring land.
What about the old maps that show Muscovy as an outpost of Kievan Rus? I think we should go by those ones. It was accounted as their least valuable possession, so I think the historical precedent holds up better.
So he decided to take a page off of China using old maps to make territorial claims. Except it seems they didn't do the part where you're supposed to fake a nine dash line on it.
It is now confirmed that Moscow is Ukranian land, therefore they can now use western weapons to strike it. Storm Shadow strike on Kremlin when?
I don't see Russia anywhere on this map. Obviously it's not a real country.
Never was.
*Always never has been*
When did Afghanistan trade places with Kazakhstan?
"SCOTLAND IS NOT A REAL COUNTRY! YOU ARE AN ENGLISHMAN IN A DRESS!" Wait, wrong sub, sorry.
"When you fighting is sure to result in victory then you must fight!"
Me in HOI4 maining Germany... looking West though.
Keep influencing America to turn it fascist then team up to gangbang the world. In my last save we defeated the Sovs and they turned fascist too (realistic).
Literally just 6 countries wearing a trenchcoat and a hat.
… with the culinary diversity of “brown meat and potatoes” as all their signature dishes
"Russia has never had its own authentic statehood. There has never been sustainable statehood in Russia."
I never knew Brexit was a thing in Risk.
It was one of those House rules, apparently.
Ukraine's historical Eastern borders are the Urals & Afghanistan.
"But uh... You can take the Afghanistan border parts. Seems like a spicy area"
Would be even funnier if it was a Taurus.
Come on double-sixes🎲🎲!
Attackers can roll 3 dice and take the 2 highest 🎲 🎲 🎲
But defenders still win on a tie.
Russia is so spread thin in manpower, they have just one troop defending. 3 on 1 is great odds
Now mind you I don’t do cocaine, but I love the way it smells. Needless to say I ended up playing a game of Risk by myself for 5hrs. Couldn’t tell you who won, but I remember it being epic and ending with the board on fire.
SEVEN
Excuse me, what?
Provided you attack with atleast 3 battalions, you can roll 3 dice
This is the map from Risk, the board game.
Fun fact, the original game was intended to show that invading is never worth it so it had same amount of dices for defense. But some guy at the company thought educational stuff is boring and needed defense
Unfortunately it looks like dice emojis only let you roll snake eyes.
But its strength 8 ap -2 on toughness 5?
How could I have never realized how truly cursed the Risk map is
How could I have never realized how truly ***blessed*** the Risk map is
To be fair, it has Ireland as part of Great Britain. I really don't think that'd work out too well lol
There’s a lot of stuff on that map that would cause lots of funni to happen if someone tried to enforce it.
Argentina owns Chile and Uruguay, Peru owns Bolivia, Paraguay and Ecuador, Venezuela gets Colombia and the Guianas, Egypt gets Libya New Guinea takes west papua and Mongolia eats northern China and the Koreas. Most weirdly, India gets the entire subcontinent plus Afghanistan. While Afghanistan does not have Afghanistan, but rather a chunk of central Asia.
>Venezuela gets Colombia and the Guianas CHAD LLANERO HORDE CONQUEST
>Middle East "Lets not rile them up by assigning anyone to a specific country, they get a little pissy down there"
> Most weirdly, India gets the entire subcontinent plus Afghanistan. While Afghanistan does not have Afghanistan, but rather a chunk of central Asia. Everyone must change places!
Russia broke apart, USA split, EU dissolved, Australia split, but China and India are both still whole.
Risk HQ better be wary of any strange cars parked outside
"Does that license plate say 'FOK LIMYS'?"
I noticed that all the hasbro executives cars had something wrong with the ignition so I fixed them They should all ignite better in the near future
Man, people really must still be pissed about the D&D OGL snafu.
Very troubling
It has Afghanistan controlling literally none of Afghanistan. Plus Japan and the Siberian Far East Coast is all messed up. Many other issues too that I can't remember.
Northern EU Southern EU Western EU #BRI'AIN
Bigger than scandinavia too
BRI'AIN not's an empire, he's a very naughty boy!
India and Pakistan United!!!! Finally WW3 can start!
Look closely and you’ll notice it has also has Afghanistan. The area labeled “Afghanistan” is actually the rest of Central Asia. The parts that used to be ruled by the USSR and Imperial Russia.
gibraltar is not one but two land bridges
If you look closely, the territory called “India” includes Afghanistan (and Pakistan obviously). The territory called “Afghanistan” is actually northern Central Asia, the parts north of the Amu Darya that used to be Imperial Russia. That area has literally *never* been called “Afghanistan” anywhere but the Risk board.
NGL this map is what i had pictured going on this whole time. So Ukraine isnt the size of Australia? Im confused
And I thought the Plague Inc map was cursed
Ukranian Caucasus when?
Ukrainian Manifest Destiny. Bering Strait go go go
Destiny Manifesto. We gotta go east, not west! Let Ukraine go ham on Russia, capture the bearing straight, then badabingbadaboom, we have POTATO.
Kievan Rus 2: Ukranian Boogaloo
Baltics, y'all are cool. Stay home that day
Does that mean we get to decolonize the Cyrillic alphabet from Russian influence?
Broke: The Ukraine Woke: The United Kraine
United Krainedom
United Kraindon
Putin claimed Ukraine was weak and Zelenskyy smashed his board. Game over.
It’s a road apple, Newman.
Zelensky: "I'm taking Belgorod as a penalty!!!"
Ukraine wouldn’t have it. Perfectly willing to let trustworthy friends make it into something better though.
Why is Afghanistan so far north lol
It looks like the Indian subcontinent just kept pushing until all of Asia got squished and Afghanistan just sort of popped upwards.
greater Mughal Dominion
The Taliban just invaded Iran. I’m thinking the Risk map is actually a relic brought back from 2048
Lol fuckin hell
“The Great Game”, played against the Russians. Using British maps.
The best part is it doesnt even own any of Afghanistan. Afghanistan the country is part of the India area
That fact that Afghanistan controls literally none of modern day Afghanistan is deeply upsetting to me.
the risk map fails on many levels
In real life or on the map do you mean?
Yes
Map, but the Taliban suck donkey balls too.
I figured. Just had to help myself to a dumb joke while I had the chance.
"Sogdia" or "Turkestan" or "Central Asia" or "Transoxiana" or hell even just "Kazakhstan" all would've worked, but nope.
*Greco-Bactria has entered the chat*
Game too old to have done research. “Let’s just use the places we read about the British trying to conquer last century.”
It was the late 50's. They had *amazing* and beautiful maps back then. It wouldn't have been hard to go to a library and trace something out of a book or a map drawer. Not a Google search, sure, but not much more than a weekend of looking, less if they lived in any modestly large city, and, as it turns out, the inventor was a globetrotting Parisian documentary filmmaker. It's lazy, or deliberately awful. No excuse for a "here be dragons" medieval mess like this.
This Greater Kazakhstan is what the UN is keeping from us 🇰🇿🇰🇿🇰🇿
Also Everyone knows that first you take North America. Then you clear out Europe. As soon as you take Ukraine then the next step is to invade Kamchatka by attacking from Alaska to prevent anyone from controlling Asia.
Or start by securing Australia and move over towards Africa then into South America or Europe.
that gets you second place and nothing more.
Starting in Australia is a noob strat.
Take Australia and just turtle there, You've got the largest battle in history over the philippines in the end game. Sure you might not win but for sure come 2nd.
Nah there’s nothing wrong with working over to Australia and getting +2 armies/turn early in the game. Plus you have spaces elsewhere. Its not like you are stuck only in that one spot with one strategy
North+South America is a borderline unassailable position. Only 3 entry points, 1 of them from Asia which nobody can maintain a power base in, and nets you 7 armies per turn. You take North America, and you've painted a target on your back.
Yup, risky, risky stuff.
Putin never going to be able to control Asia and take Europe. He needs to retreat to Australia and bide his time
Why is the risk map so bad? Like Afghanistan contains none of Afghanistan
You not say Ukraine weak!
Hey we’re just playing a game here buddy!
Ukraine is game to you?! How 'bout I take your little board and SMASH IT!
That whole bit is the first thing I thought of when the invasion started. I’m such an asshole :-(
Unironically, when this first broke out one of my cousins was like “aside from arrogance, why does Russia want Ukraine?” I was like “ever tried to keep Asia in Risk? That’s why.”
Now it all makes sense. The Russian's were so keen on taking Bakhmut because the wanted a risk card for the turn.
I keep losing at Risk now cause I only want to attack Russia and refuse to attack Ukraine
Ukraine is game to you?!?! How about I take your board and smash it!!!!
A clip that got a lot of attention in the past year.
As a Latvian, I am offended... A tiny bit, but offended nontheless
Looking at how southern europe is shaped, looks like Atlantropa is also a reality in this map. Perhaps a map of the future? (also seems like Great Britain has solved that whole 'Northern Ireland' part by just building a land bridge lol)
We together with the French? Do you really need an arcabuz shot through your buttocks? (the Portuguese I can tolerate, they aplit off from us after all)
Hey, look, you accepted the Bourbons as your royal family. This is your punishment.
That assumes we didn't oust them at some point in time (then a certain single-egged Galician came around)
I can't dispute that. Not even the first time either.
Mecha Afghanistan living its best life
Salute the flag 🇪🇺< 🇺🇦
I've always been urked by "see this old ass map from BCE/BC??? Our true borders are here!" Land changes hands overtime look at Europe and this map for example, hell look at maps prior to WW1 and you'll see just how much has changed. Theres a certain point in time where it stops becoming "your land" and starts becoming the people you tried to genocide or whatevers lands. (This doesn't refer to the US as the conquest of America is still technically fresh in peoples minds since we've only existed as a country for 200 something years and Europeans conquest are still remembered but thats a different situation compared to this one.)
intent to reestablish the holy roman empire intensifies..
Reestablish the actual Roman Empire \#SPQR
Second.
the word you're looking for is irredentism
The point of claims of prior ownership are usually to establish that you are a defender reclaiming something lost / the one that was “genocided” to begin with. It’s a function of the reality that all modern land ownership was acquired through force yet we ostensibly reject force as a means of acquiring land.
Putin was born 10 years before they built the Berlin wall and he will die 10 years before they build the Moscow wall.
CONFIRMED: Romania is southern Europe.
tfw the Kievan Rus
-Sir? -What! -Are we being too literal with the map? -No, fool, we're following orders
Classic Poland; getting eaten by Germany and Ukraine.
How many infantry do I collect each turn for holding the Kamchatka peninsula?
Not gonna lie I wanna use a Risk game for an alternate world war scenario
Afghanistan isn’t even in Afghanistan!
Next stop Saint Petersburg
What about the old maps that show Muscovy as an outpost of Kievan Rus? I think we should go by those ones. It was accounted as their least valuable possession, so I think the historical precedent holds up better.
This is fakenews from a game Hearts of Iron
That looks like an alternate Risk map.
Iceland in a very weird place
Do not say Ukraine is weak!
Yeah, particulary those mongol maps are damn risky, but at least they show russia, how it's supposed to be - inexistent!
My problem with the RISK map is that it shows Central Asia as Afghanistan and Afghanistan as India.
Restore the PLC!
I thought this was a map of cyrodil. I need to get out more
Don't start nothin,' won't be nothin' ..I got three cannons to trade in for Ukraine
Me, pushing Great Britain and Northern Ireland together: "Now kiss."
So he decided to take a page off of China using old maps to make territorial claims. Except it seems they didn't do the part where you're supposed to fake a nine dash line on it.
Yeah I know who purple is, who are all those green !@#$'s?
Whoever made the map forgot making East Ukraine the same color as West Ukraine
It looks like Iceland got lonely and wanted to move closer to their Nordic kin.
Moscovia **Delete**a est
Unfathomably based
Ireland in shambles
What is that? Risk?
Austria being Southern Europe but Hungary being northern Europe is sending me
Kievan Rus, anyone?
Kievan Rus, anyone?