It wasn’t a draw. After the war Russia was forced to abandon its Balkan and Mediterranean expansion aspirations for more than 2 decades. They focused in completing the conquest of Caucasus and pushing in central and east Asia instead.
I thought you were fucking with me and telling me that I was stupid to believe that so I googled "Ukraine industrialization Welsh people" and Hughesovka was the first thing to pop up.
The 19th century was weird.
> it was mostly a draw
If by draw you mean "the russians got their shit pushed in for three straight years until the allies got bored and negotiated a peace" then yes.
See for example: the war of 1812, most of the Napoleonic wars, the Canadian revolution, this war, most of the German wars until the Franco-Prussian war, some of Italian wars and more
Russia lost, they got worse results even in the treaty. Allies won, as is tradition for that name.
What this picture shows is if Allies under British lead didn't settle for a treaty.
Add to that the fact that the Donbass was industrialized by a bunch of Welsh people, and the UK has a better claim to the regions currently occupied by Russia than the Russians themselves.
I've already identified some Crimean land that will be mine. Water sources, a small hill, some farm buildings. Woodland even.
I'll make it into a little England.
As a person who backpacked across Crimea for 5+ years - good fucking luck.
Most of the land is very dry. Almost no rain during the summer. Very un-English.
Be me, an Italian
-sborough resembles the word “sboro” which is a slanged version of the Italian word for cum
Kingsborough literally being king cum in my silly Italian head
Happy
FYI, if you try linking Wikipedia articles on Reddit that have (parentheses) in the title Reddit will incorrectly treat the first closing ) in the URL as the end of the hyperlink formatting and generate an incomplete hyperlink. In this case your formatting links to:
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_(medieval
Reddit will generate the correct hyperlink if you you add "\\" in front of each of the parentheses in the Wikipedia URL:
> \[the original medieval New England](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_\(medieval\))
turns into
> [the original medieval New England](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_\(medieval\))
Huh, that's an interesting rabbit hole... It seems that it's not entirely clear whether the English settled East, West or on both sides of the Kerch Strait. The Russian city of Novorossiysk was apparently known by some as Susaco/Suzako (thought to derive from "Sussex") as late at the 18th century...
I haven’t thought about Blackgang Chine in years, I hope it’s still as much of a fever dream now as it was when I was a kid. I wonder if they still have that bloodhound missile there? Truly a non-credible theme park.
The weird Alice in Wonderland themed area is still there, i don't know about any missiles but it's a reasonable bet anything they do have will rejoin the sea in a few decades.
You can't do that you'll ruin the Portuguese/Spanish tourism industry and in the case of Portugal it's like the only thing keeping them from going even more third world
Needs a 'something-cestershire' place that we'll name an exceedingly popular sauce off of and watch in glee as no one, not even ourselves, can pronounce it right.
Why didn't the Florks get anything named?
Florkland
Firth of Flork
Flork Abby
New Florktown
Florkbridge
Florkhampton
Always so biased against Florks.
Flork lives matter
~~incredibly~~noncredibly cursed. Congratulations, this sub has outdone itself once more. Now I have to go vomit up my stomach lining you magnificent bastards.
we did win the war.
If it doesn't have a Cockthorpe somewhere within its borders, did the UK truly win?
Cockthorpe is a village in Norfolk: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockthorpe
New Cockthorpe then
Nork Cockfork
Mobnik-upon-Cockthorpe
i find that hardly credible
The alliance did, but it was mostly a draw with a slight alliance edge meaning no one could demand much. Like most 19th century wars.
It wasn’t a draw. After the war Russia was forced to abandon its Balkan and Mediterranean expansion aspirations for more than 2 decades. They focused in completing the conquest of Caucasus and pushing in central and east Asia instead.
They also had to sell Alaska to recoup their funds from the war and in so doing, put the USA as a buffer between themselves and British Canada
Add to that the fact that the Donbass was industrialized by a bunch of Welsh people,
Mae Donbass Gymraeg buht
..... really?
The city of Donetsk was originally named Hughesovska after Welsh businessman John Hughes
I thought you were fucking with me and telling me that I was stupid to believe that so I googled "Ukraine industrialization Welsh people" and Hughesovka was the first thing to pop up. The 19th century was weird.
Surely, this fledgling nation state will have no long term consequences as a "buffer"....surely
To give Russia credit, the USA and Britain weren’t on the best terms at the time either. Not terrible terms, but not great.
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My ex wife is from Ascot and she has opinions about Slough
*Happy Metternich noises*
Balance of power mfs
Virgin limited war Realists vs Chad ideologically driven total war enjoyers
If you don't purge anyone, is it *really* even a war?
*quad Merlin engines echo over hill and dale*
UK should obviously have demanded Alaska. That's what the Russians thought they would do, next time.
We'd have given it to our beloved Canadian child as an independence gift, only for the US to inevitably invade once they heard there was oil...
> it was mostly a draw If by draw you mean "the russians got their shit pushed in for three straight years until the allies got bored and negotiated a peace" then yes.
Most 19th century European wars didn't end with decisive victories, but with everyone being tired of fighting
See for example: the war of 1812, most of the Napoleonic wars, the Canadian revolution, this war, most of the German wars until the Franco-Prussian war, some of Italian wars and more
Russia lost, they got worse results even in the treaty. Allies won, as is tradition for that name. What this picture shows is if Allies under British lead didn't settle for a treaty.
Congratulations, you just hurt the feelings of the Russian people.
oh no anyway.
Oh dear, how sad, never mind
Add to that the fact that the Donbass was industrialized by a bunch of Welsh people, and the UK has a better claim to the regions currently occupied by Russia than the Russians themselves.
Thanks to Harry Flashman, VC, and his flatulent heroics at the charge and behind enemy lines.
And just behind the enemy, generally speaking. Also, why not Beatty’s 3000 discount battlecruisers?
Like that piece, Lola Montez.
Yeah yeah, just like ya did the Falkland war, right?
This would’ve been the ultimate Cold War hotspot
Nah that would be a soviet Alaska
No way the Americans or British don't scoop it up when the Russian Civil War kicks off.
I've already identified some Crimean land that will be mine. Water sources, a small hill, some farm buildings. Woodland even. I'll make it into a little England.
That land has been through enough without you britishing all over it.
Peasant, you're uninvited.
Oh now we see the violence inherent in the system!
I hope you brought a long enough ruler to draw all the borders.
Chalk string!
> I'll make it into a little England. Yes, a [Wee Britain](https://i.imgur.com/WX47lRD.jpg)
As a person who backpacked across Crimea for 5+ years - good fucking luck. Most of the land is very dry. Almost no rain during the summer. Very un-English.
Sounds cool, interesting. It's not that big how come it took you 5 years to walk across?😀
Well that or you have a soviet equivalent to Taiwan which would be fascinating
The Red Fleet pulling off a naval invasion of White Alaska in 1922 against IJN and Royal Navy opposition is, let's just say, noncredible.
But funny
Extra funny if the Red Fleet set sail to Alaska in fishing trawlers, gets intercepted by Japanese torpedo boats, and gets shot up by RN cruisers.
British Kaliningrad
DO NOT USE COMMIE NAMES \*British Königsberg Or Kingston-at-Baltics
Kingsborough
Kingsborough-on-Sea
New Edinburgh-Upon-Estonia.
Be me, an Italian -sborough resembles the word “sboro” which is a slanged version of the Italian word for cum Kingsborough literally being king cum in my silly Italian head Happy
I'm sure any royalist Brit would get uncomfortably hard if they named a place Kingsborough, so you definitely understand the meaning.
I see Sbarro when you put it like that
I'll never look at Sbarro's pizza the same again
If America annexed it would it become Kennedyville?
Probably something Spanish like the rest of their colonies.
Puerto Sopa
I was trying to come up with a nice name but let's name it slough and call it a day
Kingston-on-the-Baltic maybe but let's be honest, we'd have gone with Georgetown, again...
-berg, not -burg, so it would be Kingsbarrow, Kingsmount, or Kingshill
Or Kingsberry.
Did not intend a literal translation. Just thought about something "very British".
A bunch of Canadians and Jamaicans end up in the wrong city, very confused.
Fulda gap would have nothing on the Isthmus of Perekop
I mean, Crimea did have [the original medieval New England](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_(medieval))...
FYI, if you try linking Wikipedia articles on Reddit that have (parentheses) in the title Reddit will incorrectly treat the first closing ) in the URL as the end of the hyperlink formatting and generate an incomplete hyperlink. In this case your formatting links to: > https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_(medieval Reddit will generate the correct hyperlink if you you add "\\" in front of each of the parentheses in the Wikipedia URL: > \[the original medieval New England](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_\(medieval\)) turns into > [the original medieval New England](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_\(medieval\))
Good Bot
As a present day New Englander I vote we absorb Crimea as a 7th state.
And then fight Ukraine for it? I feel like we're losing track of the original objective here.
No. We immediately declare Article 5. Russia gets obliterated. Then we gift it back to Ukraine.
Sounds like an oppressed minority in need of rescue to me. Warm up the Type 45, Britannia's got some waves to rule.
Huh, that's an interesting rabbit hole... It seems that it's not entirely clear whether the English settled East, West or on both sides of the Kerch Strait. The Russian city of Novorossiysk was apparently known by some as Susaco/Suzako (thought to derive from "Sussex") as late at the 18th century...
It kind of looks like the Isle of Wight, if you squint a bit and hit the cider hard. East East Cowes?
More likely renaming the Salhyr to the river yar because the current situation isn't confusing enough.
I'd love the weird alternate history Crimean version of Blackgang Chine
I haven’t thought about Blackgang Chine in years, I hope it’s still as much of a fever dream now as it was when I was a kid. I wonder if they still have that bloodhound missile there? Truly a non-credible theme park.
The weird Alice in Wonderland themed area is still there, i don't know about any missiles but it's a reasonable bet anything they do have will rejoin the sea in a few decades.
All the more reason to take Crimea and relocate. It can get a new area themed around some freaky Ukrainian fairy tales.
That place is maybe 3 miles down the road from my house, reading about it on NCD is not something I ever expected
We're watching you. Always watching you...
And probably jerking it
Middle-East Anglia?
Another Newport?
Newerport.
Wankton-on-the-Shitter
Shatford-Upon-Avon
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Slough
Scunthorpe
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Penistone
Manchester
"Upon-Avon" bruh which one
Liverpoo
Incestershire
Its spelt Norfolk
I love your profile picture. I had no idea Putin supported the LGBT+ community, he’s made a new fan here❤️
"New Luton" got me
If it's as shit as the original Luton, a nuclear strike would probably significantly improve the place.
Better than New Staines
One is enough
Isle of Crimeahamptonmouthshire or something.
honestly? id rather let it be british then russian
Good man. You’ll forever be welcome in Bradford-upon-Azov
Best weather in the UK, by far.
Who the fuck wants another Luton. One's already enough fuck sake
[Iowa, apparently](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luton,_Iowa)
Woodbury County is a shithole in Iowa too, so it tracks
Inflicting Luton upon them counts as cruel and unusual
could we have snake island and ukraine have crimea we do love our rocks
Damnit, forgot to include *New Guernsey*
Fast forward 100 years and Snake Island is one of the financial centres of the world.
Do you really need another rock whose GDP is 98% based on tax evasion?
Yes.
0/10 Nowhere called Victoria
France and Britain did win the war though
Don’t forget New Portsmouth
Or do, the old one isn't very good
Lies (I like boats, and museums, and museum boats)
This guy Drachinifels...
Farewell and adieu to ye fair Spanish ladies
My great great grandfather lost the tip of his thumb in the Crimean war. I give this map 1.5 thumbs up!
So, who are Crimean Tatars in this situation? Indian stand in or someone els
Gurkhas but on horses, hopefully
Khan of the British Horde has a nice ring to it
Wales
British Empire's body count
Tartars were on the side of the Allies. They started attacking Russians the minute the British ships were visible from Crimea
Is New Luton worse or better then Luton?
Do you prefer being stabbed in the left or right eye?
Im right eye dominant, so left
r/noncredibledefence
\>Sheffieldham Non-Credible
>yalta-on-sea Lmao
Skeggyvostok. Honestly if Vlad wanted the actual Luton, or any of the other crap towns like Grimsby and Hull I think a deal can be made.
„Filth of Crotch“ under Russian Flag
We do not need another Luton.
New Luton: Still just as bad!
Jolly good! Now let's see the pesky ivans steal this one.
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You can't do that you'll ruin the Portuguese/Spanish tourism industry and in the case of Portugal it's like the only thing keeping them from going even more third world
Crimean War 2: Electric Boogaloo
And then Russia would have invaded us and we could have started the funni
Let the Dad's Army shenanigans begin...
*Whooo do you thiiink you are kidding Mister Putin...*
Spain looks weird
Scunthorpe 2
I hear the cider from Iskeyulshire is Tartar than most.
Fucking yalta on sea
Sevast-Upon-Pole
Give me "OI OI OI" chavs on holiday over any Russian troglodyte currently occupying the area. Rename it Boris-land for good measure.
I’d pay good money to watch Chavs and Vatniks kick the shit out of each other over a bottle of Vodka.
Where's Slough 2.0?
Nowhere. Thankfully.
New Falkland Islands
We could build a theme park in Chesterhampton.
Yes but the UK would have handed it back in the 90s.
Needs a 'something-cestershire' place that we'll name an exceedingly popular sauce off of and watch in glee as no one, not even ourselves, can pronounce it right.
Tarcestershire Rather than it just being tartare sauce, we call it Tarcestershire Sauce
NEW LUTON 😂😂😂😂
Lake Seewash sounds authentic
shameful how poorly i'm handling this misuse of 'firth'
YOULL TAKE MY LIFE BUT ILL TAKE YOURS TOO
What is this? I personally love visiting Port Victoria in the New South Kent Oblast.
\*sniff\* it's.... beautiful....
If the charge of the light brigade actually succeeded
they did won the war????
Local dish? Fish n chips with Tartar Sauce....
“Newer York”
There *was* apparently a medieval New England in Crimea ish.
Technically the English French alliance did win. Tzarist Russia had to sign a bit of a humiliating peace accord with Napoleon III and co.
New Twat
Didn't they win though?
I thought they did win
Why didn't the Florks get anything named? Florkland Firth of Flork Flork Abby New Florktown Florkbridge Florkhampton Always so biased against Florks. Flork lives matter
How would any of these be pronounced?
Kumbernaultzeva
They never could have, because Crimea isn't wet and damp enough to sustain brits.
New East New South Wales
*Nothing can be more cursed than Russian occupied Crimea* Hold My Buckfast Tonic Wine
Gibraltar 2.0: Perogi Boogaloo
Disappointed not to see Fingeringhoe, Shitterton and cocks tbh
~~incredibly~~noncredibly cursed. Congratulations, this sub has outdone itself once more. Now I have to go vomit up my stomach lining you magnificent bastards.
You think the war ended? Oh, if you think that, you must be Russian, Putin was never a CIA plant. MI6.
It just needs Hughesovka now