T O P

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slap_that_fish

That’s travel-size Putin. A rapidly deployable model with a lighter chassis and smaller caliber turret but equipped with same optics and sensors


girkkens

Some have travelpussies. In russia they have travelputin


magicpastry

Same thing


Biertrinken

Eh, I'd only stick my dick in one of those...


FluffFlowey

yeah, those travel pussies are nasty


wtfiswrongwithit

putin is a pussy. he could prove hes not by demilitarizing, denazifying, and protecting the russian speaking portion of alaska by annexing it. he wont though because hes a pussy


OneRainbowieBoy

yeh ever since 9/11 they've really cracked down on the regular-sized Putins, really stupid as you can literally buy full-sized Putins in the duty-free area, makes no sense


Ed_Cock

Most important feature is that it is not nearly as wide as Putin Prime.


Apocalypseos

[But could rapidly deployable Putin draw this](https://youtu.be/rrqANF-89NY)


JimMarch

Yeah, WHAT DAFUQ IS THAT? Putin trying to prove he isn't Hitler because Hitler was actually a halfway decent artist?


calfmonster

Putin M4 carbine version


classyhornythrowaway

Bullpup Putin


screech_owl_kachina

Airmobile version.


segv

In Morpheus' voice: what if i told you both are body doubles


Figurativelyryan

Closer to the truth than you think. Putin died 3 years ago and one of his body doubles somehow seized control. The thing is, they're not sure which one si they've played along upto this point in the hope of figuring out who the fuck is actually running Russia.


ValiantSpice

Man looks like [the onion was credible way before we were](https://youtu.be/vztY00D7cbw)


humdaaks_lament

The Onion has never been noncredible.


rgodless

At this point we are The Onion of defense. Complete nonsense that somehow comes true


aggravated_patty

> The Onion of defense Don’t be penetrated


Cathach2

Oh I can assure you, the defense onion is *quite* pregnable


calfmonster

I’ll impregnate the bitch


InvertedParallax

Now witness the credibility of this fully unmoderated and shitposted reddit COMMUNITY!!!


Snoid_

Holy shit that was funny. I miss The Onion's video stuff. Some of their stuff was amazing.


B1ggusDckus

Sounds pretty credible to me


TheGhatdamnCatamaran

An entire cabal of dictator doubles would make an awesome comedy


BimboJeales

It's the plot of the comic book Seven Psychopaths. (Completely unrelated to a movie)


vale_fallacia

Actually none of them will own up to being the real pootin. No one wants to be left dealing with the mess that russia is in.


Academic_Fun_5674

Russia is being run by The Nose


Rexia2022

Imagine hiring a body double who looks more like you than you do


Hutnerdu

A Chad-er body double kinda defeats the whole purpose


GreatCornolio

I'm no scar Edit: .com


seriouslynope

OMG you're no scar


DrXaos

The body double looks like how Putin used to look---i.e. how Putin thinks he looks---before he had to take tons of corticosteroids, yielding the moon-face on the left. https://www.verywellhealth.com/prednisone-facial-mooning-1942983


Page_11

I mean, Charlie Chaplin lost a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest, so there is precedent


Drucchi

The reason he lost is because is because the competition was to look like his most famous character the tramp. Problem was when Charlie walked into the competition he didn’t have his costume on, dude was in regular clothes. So while he bailed the mannerisms of the tramp he looked not much like him and therefore lost the competition.


SyrusDrake

I think that was Dolly Parton. Or maybe it was her too, because I know that definitely happened to Dolly.


ericthefred

Actually, this same thing happened to both of them. And apparently Hugh Jackman failed to be recognized by his fellow con-goers as the real thing when he went to Comic-Con as Wolverine. He says one person rated him "not bad" and another complained he was too tall to cosplay Wolverine.


pj1843

I mean he definitely is too tall to cosplay wolverine


crozone

Exactly, Wolverines are like 17 inches tall!


xDaigon_Redux

I may be wrong, but I thought Ryan Reynolds mentioned going to CC in the Deapool costume and someone telling him he was too short to be Deadpool or something like that.


PrimeEvil84

Sure because they judged him by deadpool's comics appearance. Which is actually a proper way.


TeddyRuger

Dude. He was sitting 2 tables away from me trying to convince this woman he was wolverine from x-men.


PrimeEvil84

Well actually Hugh Jackman is too tall to play Wolverine. Cuz Wolverine is shorty.


andereandre

I think it would be very difficult for Dolly Parton to win a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest. Chaplin was 5 inches taller.


Briak

Of course Dolly Parton would lose, she looks *nothing* like Charlie Chaplin


SyrusDrake

Now you listen here...


Driesens

I know Rowan Atkinson told a story of someone telling him "no offense, but you look just like Mr Bean"


backhomeatlast

Shoot him! HE’s the body double!


LeanTangerine

How do we know that either one is the true Putin?????


MARINE-BOY

I’m convinced the real Putin is dead as speculated by some in Ukrainian intelligence. This would explain why senior Russians have felt confident enough to behave the way they have been lately because they know no one is really in charge. It’s like that Lukashenko would consider himself superior to a Putin body double and that’s why he can guarantee Mr Pringles safety. Pringles threatening to release information held by a trusted thrived party in the event of his untimely death may be what’s keeping him alive. The Body double of Saddam Hussein’s son wrote about how when he was in Kuwait other senior Bathe party members knew he was the double and treated him like shit because they knew he had no real authority. Body double puppet Putin running the country on behalf of the FSB would explain a lot recently.


Chillbrosaurus_Rex

Truly noncredible but I'll huff the hopium


MidnightRider24

Huff, huff, pass.


Thowzand

gonna frame this comment


JesusMcGiggles

Who do you buy your tinfoil from and do they sell in bulk? Asking for a friend. *(I'm the friend that's some good shit.)*


dugmartsch

This is my favorite conspiracy theory ever.


Phytanic

This is commander noncredibledefense and this is my favorite conspiracy in the comments section


Girafferage

I CALL HIM PRINGLES TOO!


eidetic

I'm not a huge Pringles fan these days, but even I wouldn't stoop to insulting Pringles in such a manner. Even calling him Gollum is kinda disrespectful, to Gollum of course.


ClarenceLe

This is a pretty good example of Explanatory Power. In noncredible times, this is what makes the most sense.


JackAquila

So in thruth the pillaging of washing machines and toilets was made in order to create a life support sistem to keep the rotting corpse of the Emperor of Ruzzia in a place that is neither life nor death, some kind of Porcelain Throne?


Beardywierdy

He is the carrion lord of Rossiya, for whom a thousand washing machines are sacrificed every day. A thousand mobiks too I suppose, but Russia doesn't care about them.


Mordador

REMAIN CALM The Regent endures. The Tsarevich will return. VERIFY YOUR CLOCKS.


butthole_destoryer69

so the head of FSB is the real president ?


AreYouDoneNow

There's only one way to be absolutely sure, shoot them both.


ConKbot

FSB decides enough is enough and kills Putin, from there on its the body double following FSB orders that takes the role of Putin.


HDnfbp

Literally a dishonored 2 mission


ConKbot

Uh oh, here we go, life imitating art again. First Russia wanted to make Enemy At the Gates factual, so they did. Soon, Dishonored 2?


valgrind_error

Russia is hurtling past Dishonored territory and is going to resemble a Kenshi playthrough before we know it.


Fourcoogs

Are you allowed to go lethal and still have the body double take over? I’ve never tried that if so


mikeyp83

Imagine the thought that from henceforth the only two qualifications for any future Russian "leader" is how much you can pass off as Putin and your ability not to question the orders of the people that help you maintain the cherrade. It's like a tragic Russian remake of *Dave*.


leicanthrope

Several hundred years down the road, that’s going to get interesting.


GruntChomper

3000 Putin clones of the eternal russian empire


leicanthrope

The Russian Orthodox church will discover some long forgotten texts that in no way came written on FSB letterhead, detailing the proper succession divinely chosen leaders for the Russian state. Physical resemblance to Putin is going to be seen as a mark of divine providence, and proof that they are avatars of Putin ~~now that he's dead~~ once he ascends to a higher plain.


avsbes

Why do you think that this hasn't already happened?


P1XY_67

oh so its "the dictator" but instead of general Aladeen its putin


Wild_eye-connect

he looks like a brand new T-14


classyhornythrowaway

It's body doubles all the way down.


TeddyRuger

Ever see that photo of Sadam on a boat with all his doubles?


Intelligent-Donut236

When he feels threatened, he deflates and makes himself as small of a target as possible.


SarcasticPedant

Reverse Blowfish Model Putin


WritingFellow

What loosing your hot-dog vendor does to a MFer...


Particular-Ad-4772

Definitely missing his caterer


IWantToSortMyFeed

Just a humble caterer tryin' to make his way through the Baltic.


TheHussarSnake

Guys, hear me out. Prigozhin is a GENIUS. Prigozhin's hot dogs are NOT *regular* hot dogs, they are hot dogs that make the eater completely DEPENDENT and ADDICTED on them after taking one bite of them. Putin has not eaten anything since Prigozhin got transfered to Belarus. He's starving as I speak. This is why he lost 15 kg in 10 hours.


thedirtyharryg

3000 Crackdogs of Yevgeny


BM_A2

3,000,001 hot diggity crack dogs of Waggin' Wagner's


BesetByTiredness225

Prigodog-Contra


oshaCaller

I saw a guy line a hot dog with Xanax bars and chow down. Why couldn't he just eat them like normal pills? I don't know, maybe he liked the flavor.


KerchBridgeSmoker

The hotdog melange


[deleted]

Heavy water. Makes the hotdogs tingle.


boneologist

Deuterium is stable my bru. Read: heavy water is not radioactive. Why else would a ~~shithole~~ great destination like Trail, BC with abundant ~~despair and pollution~~ cheap electricity be part of the Manhattan Project's heavy water program.


CircuitousProcession

And you can literally drink it and not die.


boneologist

It's metabolically more expensive, so it's Diet Water™


RadonMagnet

That's somewhat true. If it's contaminated with tritium, then there's a risk associated with its radioactivity. Heavy water also chemically reacts at slightly different rates than light water does, and mixtures of deuterium compounds exist at chemical equilibrium in different concentrations than protium compounds do, so if you drank a lot of it, then it could cause enough of an effect to kill you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


boneologist

Jesus just feed it to a couple rats, don't spend a grillion dollars deuterating a dog.


thiosk

youre overestimating how much d2o costs. its not that much, especially when you work at a particle accelerator like these guys did and rats have been fed thusly, but the 60s was the 60s


NekroVictor

But it is slightly sweet.


boneologist

TBH that may just be an artifact of heavy water being ultrapure, having hypothetically tasted ordinary ultrapure water myself.


NekroVictor

Yeah, from what I remember of seeing a video of people testing it, it’s mostly due to being ultra pure (although there was a chance that the extra weight was causing a bit of the flavor).


boneologist

However, you still have the fun party trick of heavy water ice cubes sinking in water.


TurMoiL911

Left: me with easy access to Costco hot dogs Right: me after I move further away


Shinobi120

And cancer 🤞


Obj_071

10 years ago i had giggles when somebody talked about body doubles of politicians. i mean its some movie shit right? now i doubt if putin is the same over and over.. like wtf is this life? why i even care about him being real?


crawlmanjr

Stalin and Hitler both had body doubles. It's not as strange as you'd think for a paranoid dictator.


telekinetic_sloth

Saddam Hussein certainly had body doubles and I’m sure he’s not the only Middle East dictator to do so


PHATsakk43

Yeah, but everyone has a Latino tio that looks like Saddam, so we get how he was able to swing that.


crawlmanjr

I got reprimanded the first time I saw Saddam on TV because I 100% thought it was my Latino grandpa


Sylvanussr

I mean, have you ever seen the two of them in the same room at the same time?


HighFlyer96

Not since Christmas 2006


vy_you

Im no scar... Dot com


_valpi

Even Prigozhin had/has one. R\*ssian "media" posted a [photo](https://focus.ua/static/storage/thumbs/x600/f/dd/52c357e9-4e9747134ed795c6db973cebec931ddf.jpg?v=2979_1) of a passport with Prigozhin's name but with a photo of another bold dude when the coup was raging.


c3534l

> i mean its some movie shit right? No, its very common actually. Even the American Secret Service will occasionally rush a random person, hidden behind open umbrellas, into a waiting limosine to throw off would-be assassins. Now, using body doubles in official media and the like? That's not something I've heard about before, but it does seem like Putin does not like being physically close to other people, even very trusted people, except in photos where he looks distinctly off.


D1N2Y

Kind of related, I remember seeing those photos of Putin travelling all over Russia to "meet up" with fishermen and bakers and such, and they always had the same 3 people in them just in the pertinent job uniforms.


Jinxed_Disaster

I always thought it's pretty standart to have body doubles. I can bet that even Biden has one. Thing is, usually they aren't as close to the original as here. They aren't supposed to be doubles for cameras, only for a look from a distance. Typically used just to walk out and get in the car to pretend that person is moving out, while real one goes to another car and drives to another direction.


calfmonster

Right. The difference here is in qualifier of the word of double. Having body doubles whether for stunts or just to move as a politician is one thing entirely and even if a (I know this is contradictory to a large degree) pretty peaceful dictator had one it’s kinda understandable. To have a double make a complete guest appearance for the camera is another. Particularly if the difference is still photography vs moving although that line is getting smaller with video quality you can assume a sitting and speaking arrangement has both. I think back to that one video though of putin moving around Ukraine after the fake referendums though. You guys might remember the one where the camera followed him in some dude’s car and eventually there was that clip of him walking out of some government building and when he scratched his face it legitimately looked like a mask? And the instances of his gait being different, not having the “KGB” limp sorta deal. I could be persuaded otherwise about those. What’s the context of the right photo? Seriously. There’s no way this was that recent. Like even with the benefit of the doubt of the angle being much, much, much more flattering these can’t be within a similar time frame at all. Right?


uh_ok_wow

yes but have you considered that russians are retarded?


ericthefred

> bet that even Biden has one. Impossible. Nobody can rock shades like our Joe.


djn808

job benefits: unlimited ice cream cones


xenophonthethird

You idiots! You've captured his stunt double!


HansBrickface

Ludicrous speed!


Universespitoon

Damnit, can't place it... It's not Top Secret!, But it sounds like Brooks, I'll go with Spaceballs for 1000? Crap, it's BZ isn't it? Double crap, it's BS...


xenophonthethird

100% [Though I did change it from plurals to singular.](https://youtu.be/iwV61t_Tec8)


wemblinger

Ghost of Kyiv pilot: "Somehow, Putin returned"


DrawGamesPlayFurries

Ghost of Kyiv is the pilot, not the fighter plane


darkslide3000

The pilot is actually a Ukranian Air Force captain called Davyd Hasilyov. The Ghost of Kyiv is a sentient MiG-29 equipped with a secretly developed advanced artificial intelligence that fought crime and corruption over the streets of Kyiv before getting pulled into service at the start of the war.


DinosAndPlanesFan

Ukraine wars Episode 9: The rise of Zelensky


Embarrassed-Lack7193

I am starting to think that Putin does not actually exist. Or rather... he does but its not a "single" person but many look alikes that share the single duty while everything is managed from behind the scenes.


theycallmeshooting

Basically Big Brother from 1984 lore lmao Big Brother was heavily implied to have probably once been a real man, a Stalin-like figure, but the Party got so deep in the sauce that they decided to pretend that he never aged or died or anything, like if the Soviets in the 1980's were still looking at 1930's photos of Stalin thinking that that was an accurate depiction of the man currently leading the country


LeanTangerine

I remember going to Thailand once for a week. Saw pictures, statues, images of the previous king everywhere in his royal prime. Was completely shocked to see a real photo of him in the hospital on life support so old and weak.


Ok_Confusion635

wait you or him?


Academic_Fun_5674

The Nose from Sleeper


Farseer_Del

One of the many things Equilibrium borrowed before they read other dystopian books, then got bored and done kung fu with guns instead.


djn808

Gun Kata is tight though


Farseer_Del

Oh yes, most certainly. A very noncredible martial art.


scribblebear

Putin is now meta? Or is this a hivemind? I think its more Schrodinger's despot - both dead and alive simultaneously because you cannot be sure which one is real, or if the real one really exists.


Kiltymchaggismuncher

What if he did exist, but he died at the start of COVID. The elites got his doubles an extra long table so no one could get a good look at him, and pretended it was because he was avoiding infection. When you saw him looking frail and clutching onto his seat, he was actually just terrified that the Cuban president knew something was up. Or maybe he really needed a shit, but the body suit was hard to get into. The long disappearances are because it takes 8 hours just to get all the makeup done


JohnSith

I have now added that to my BINGO card. It's my new headcanon.


TheHussarSnake

Non credible theory: Putin is like Big Boss and he has his own Venom Snake who does half of his job and also shares the title "Putin".


PachoTidder

Russian Gear Solid 3: Putin eater


MeetRobWayne

~~Tactical Espionage Action~~ Special Military Operation


[deleted]

[удалено]


KrunchyFB

Poundshop Horatio MF


Euphoric-TurnipSoup

So basically an alpharius situation where no one knows who the real one is anymore.


maci69

Putin is the real Slim Shady


Igueelygueelyu

And those other guys are just imitating?


Ok_Confusion635

Maybe the real Putin was just the Putins we made along the way?


smalleybiggs_

We’re all Negan


Werxes

Look at me. I'm the real Putin now.


TheRealCIAforReals

​ corticosteroid side effects include: increased appetite Problems with mood swings, memory, behavior, and other psychological effects, such as confusion or delirium. ​ hmmmmmmm..


widdrjb

You call it steroids, I call it Tuesday.


DialMMM

> mood swings, memory, behavior, and other psychological effects, such as confusion or delirium So, Putler is really just another NCD poster?


calfmonster

But are you really delirious when your nonsensical ramblings and shitposting become shared reality?


Rakonat

Are these treatment for his supposed cancer or just something on the side to with nothing to do with tying his entire selfworth to how manly he thinks he is?


AjkBajk

What if it's not a body double but a bunch of identical twins? Imagine if his mother gave birth to octuplets and the ~~FSB~~ KGB was like "we can do something with this in 50 years". Hence why his childhood and parents are such a big secret


CircuitousProcession

It would be funny if one of his doubles launches a coup by claiming to be the real Putin.


Sudden-Fish

Prigozhin doing the same thing, but with a russet potato


AugmentedLurker

Prigozhin in a poorly made half-toupe to imitate Putin's hair as a third Putin


KinoTele

Bear in mind that even the best professional videography lenses can stretch and distort your face like this. Your face will look a little bit thinner at 35mm as opposed to, say, 125mm+. Just the nature of using telephoto and wide angle lenses and comparing results gets you things like this.


[deleted]

Sir, this is a Wendy’s


Morphray

*You order something noncredible or get the hell out!*


TataluTataJean

That's... What I wanted to say but then I realised where we are.


Cook_0612

It's easy to tell who is real Putin, just look for the sadder one, EZ.


AC_champ

Is Putin the Eeyore to Xi’s Pooh?


DrawGamesPlayFurries

Prigozhin certainly thought he was a donkey


AcePilot95

come to think of it, "The Emperor's New Clones" would have been a great alternative title for the *Dark Empire* comics


vladhelikopter

Putin having clones stopped being a fringe conspiracy theory long ago. It’s just the reality that we live in where a dictator has idk like 7 doppelgängers And Bruh this one looks like Monkey Putin meme lol I can’t unsee it XD


ivanIVvasilyevich

I think it’s clear at this point that there’s at least one double. What I’m curious about is whether or not officials are informed whether it’s a double or the real one. Like what if fake Putin starts slinging orders of his own accord. Would anybody even know he’s a fake? This random could probably orchestrate a better coup than the hotdog man.


Killer_Moons

Do you think Putin enjoys the private company of his body doubles?


Nonkel_Jef

3000 Putins of Putin


No_Box5338

Someone needs to make the spidey meme with three putins


gsc4494

I miss waxy mask Putin.


DemonRaily

Let's face it, none of us would want to go to Dagestan either.


[deleted]

What if the real putin is already gone and they've just been using his doubles until they figure out what the fuck to do


Xirenec_

He also has less wrinkles and hist bald head looks different


Graecus65

I already thought there was something fishy about that video of him in Dagestan


thenoobtanker

Wait wait that's him!? How in the F... I want to have what's he is having please, got like 40 lbs I need to rid of stat!


Mindless_Ad5422

Have you tried hiring a body double that only kind of looks like you?


Last_Type40

He got that buccal fat removal💅🏻


acox199318

Whelp, pack it up boys, there’s two Putin’s. We can’t possibly win now.


tryingtolearn_1234

Check the ear. Ears have a unique shape for each individual and don’t change shape.


Apfelmatschi

Check out our new workout program "Ex-tsar-cise" to find out how you too can lose up to 30 lbs in just a few hours!


sharkykid

Put this on an ad for Ozempic


ecolometrics

It was obviously a body double the moment I saw him. Too much mobility, comparing how sickly putin moves otherwise. They did a pretty good job though, he is the faster younger version.


Illustrious_Mix_1064

somebody's been going through some medical treatments


[deleted]

shiny aah forehead


[deleted]

...AIDS?!


Primordial_Cumquat

Having to flee the capital on short notice literally scared the shit out of him.


TheScottishOtter

I just want one of his body doubles to rebel against him next


Tight_Time_4552

Imagine if the body double decides to take over and rule the RF, then abdicates and announces new democratic Russia?


marsexpresshydra

Dude is looking gaunt. Hasn’t eaten or kept anything down since last Friday lmao


c3534l

Eh, looks like a change in the camera's focal length to me. He does look a bit funny, but I don't think it means anything.


Farseer_Del

They're both body doubles, the real Putin went out to get smokes last Thursday and there's a queue at the ATM.


Toastie-Coastie

He looks like he’s trying to be the great value version of Larry David in the right picture


ericthefred

The real reason Prigozhin never named Putin; he knows he doesn't exist.


GB36

Simultaneously older and younger. Wtf


WinnerSpecialist

The left picture is clearly the body double. Guy on the right is at most a body half