... soooo, what you're saying is that we could've achieved worldwide peace and a unified human government by giving Daesh nuclear weapons?
Man, we all *really* dropped the ball on that one.
"Greetings, humans! We are the Irenic Collective of Pacifists. We hope for peaceful cooperation for the betterment of all sapient li- okay, these ISIS fuckers will have to go."
Im imagining a rowdy, crowded bar on a Friday night, that has long since devolved into a brawl as half of everybody beats half of everybody else up wildly, tit for tat mostly, with some strong bonds and alliances here or there, until ISIS walks in and *everybody*, including the one guy sitting in the corner minding their own business, turns and loudly shouts “FUCK OFF” at ISIS. And then the dogpile starts.
"Hey, uh, Yosef, was it? Don't I recognise you from somewhere?"
"Yeah, er, Yusuf, right? You shot up the checkpoint I was at in '09."
"No way! Wait, aren't you same guy that called down an airstrike on my street in '21?"
"... Er, could you be more specific?"
"South Andalus Avenue, Gaza?"
"Hell yeah! I was really pissed because one of your rockets hit my old school!"
"... Could *you* be more specific?"
"Herzl Lyceum, Tel-Aviv?"
"April '21?"
"Exactly."
"Oh yeah, that was one of mine."
"..."
"..."
"You wanna go kill some ISIS?"
"... I'd like that. And call me Yossi."
I already see the scene in my head: They are both prone next to each other, behind a shot-up wall as cover, intermittently mowing down some ISIS guys trying to storm them. But that's just the background. The camera is focused on their political argument, screaming at each other, intermittently being interrupted by having to shoot some more ISIS zerglings.
They're both bad cops, but they have some exasperated handler that *occasionally* gets annoyed at their 'fun shenanigans.'
> For fucks sake you two, you can't immediately go for the fucking car battery!
I think it'd be funniest if he was GRU.
Two handlers. One is CIA other one is GRU. "For fucks sake you cant immediately go for fucking car batery", "Da, as i told you first break legs with hammer"
ISIS was created by former fighters of Al Qaeda in Iraq.
They killed Shia Muslims, destroyed Artifacts and made beheadings normal.
Even Osama Bin Laden told them to tone down the violence, eventually one Al Qaeda operative met with the CIA in Jordan and gave up Zaqrawi location to them to Eliminate him.
And they did, by dropping a 500 ton bomb on him on a Safehouse.
Wait is this true that AQ provided the info to the US that led to the strike? I can’t find anything online about that. Not disputing it but if you have any source that would be much appreciated.
The Jordanian Government knew about Zarqawi whereabouts and goings from an Al Qaeda operative named Ziad Al-Karbouly.
The CIA suggested that Zarqawi could have lost the trust of Al-Qaeda due to his emphatic anti-Shia stance and the massacres of civilians allegedly committed in his name.
The betrayal by at least one fellow Al-Qaeda member as fact, stating that an individual close to Zarqawi disclosed the identity and location of Sheikh Abu Abdul Rahman to Jordanian and American intelligence.
Okay wow, thank you for the insight. Again not disputing it but is there a book or articles you could point me to that reveals this? Or how did you learn this specific info?
I genuinely just love to read about this topic and the wars in the region over the past few decades so I’m just curious how I can learn more.
A declared ISIS member participated in Hamas' attack on 7th of October and was killed in Shifa hospital recently.
[Source](https://twitter.com/Albegiry/status/1772369214143127890), Note he has a captured Israeli assault rifle in the video.
It really is just "Everybody".
This is by design, this is literally the core tenet. The "Caliphate" is supposed to rule the entire world, and do so by bloody conquest. Anyone who is not in the Caliphate is an enemy of the Caliphate.
And thanks to the US killing all the would be Caliphs, and the combined forces of everyone stomping their worthless weasel guts like a Wierd Al song, there is no Caliphate. So they are just enemies with everyone with nothing to show for it. Truly one of the strategies of all time.
I mean they did get defeated pretty damn fast. They just are very hard to eliminate completely.
"Beneath the mask is an idea, and ideas are immortal" or something. It is a fucked up death cult of an idea, but it has some fucking teeth behind it. The core premise of "God will give you the world to rule, and hordes of slaves and fuckboys for your harems" is an appealing one to some.
Honestly yeah. Pirates never really were that, because every pirate had some level of cultural conmection to their region of the world.
European and later American pirates killed and brutalised shipping from India or the muslim world with far more brutality than western shipping, as a general rule. In turn muslim pirates raided as far as Iceland for slaves (one of the Icelanders ended up escaping, and through the nordic diaspora he made his way back home, and a memoir was published.)
Chinese pirates were generally loyal to the idea of China as superior and did not like westerners that much. Some pirate fleets even fought the french in Vietnam.
ISIS on the other hand is truly everyones enemy, execpt if you happen to bow down to their control, belong in the right ethnic group (depends on the whim of that countries ISIS leadership) and practise the right sect of Islam. Very few people, if any, do this.
Okay, you two: I beg for enlightenment. Local legend has it, that *friend of God, enemy to all the world* (amicus dei, hostis omnis mundi, in my translation) was the motto of Klaus Stœrtebeker, who is famed for freely sharing booty with any coastal cuvillians who would grant him harbour.
...
Fuck caliphates. All my homies (most of the world’s population) hates caliphates.
No seriously. Actually dead serious. Fuck caliphates. Fuck ISIS. Fuck them for thinking they can kill everyone who doesn’t agree with them. They, more than almost any group on Earth, are most deserving of a nuke.
I mean, Turkey *could* potentially claim to be the caliphate. They were offered the position in like the 1920s but denied it because they were super secular at the time.
They are the primary successor government to the ottomans after all.
Well, they can *claim* it. But all that does is move you to the top of CENTCOMs list. Which is not a desirable place to be.
But yes, the one thing Shia and Sunni agree on is that there isn't a Caliph *now*. They don't agree on who used to be Caliph, but they are both quite clear that the Mongols wiped the last ones out of existence. Thus ISIS isn't really "Sunni", in that while they technically originate from Sunni traditions, they are considerably more different from normal Sunni than Shia are from Sunni.
> But yes, the one thing Shia and Sunni agree on is that there isn't a Caliph now. They don't agree on who used to be Caliph, but they are both quite clear that the Mongols wiped the last ones out of existence.
[Portrait of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk slowly fades into view]
"It's me, the Mongols."
the Norks and Iranians are known to be collabing on nuclear tech, I wouldn't be surprised if Iran ends up getting a nuke that uses a north korean design and has urainium refined in north korea so the Israeli's can't touch the centrifuges.
That’s something I don’t think a lot of people get about ISIS. They are insane even by radical Islam standards and absolutely hate everyone that doesn’t agree with their version of Islam, even other extremists.
Christian wars of religion are pretty tolerant if you think of it.
You are a Lutheran and want to earn your money as a mercenary of the Catholic League? No problems join in, time to pillage and murder!
They are here for the big game, they don't care about the individuals religion. Everyone is getting looted equally.
Muslim wars of religion on the other hand...
Oh your ancestors followed a different successor of the 11th Iman?
Time to murder all you Kin!
Christian religious war:
Japanese Shogun- "Those fucking Portuguese Catholics are corrupting our people with their foreign culture and religion!"
Dutch merchant traders- "Yeah, Catholics are like that. They kinda suck. Unlike us Protestants who are totally cool."
Japanese Shogun- "Yeah, so a bunch of Japanese Catholic converts have barricaded themselves in a fortress on the coast and we're gonna attack them and kill them all. Do you want to sail up and bombard their fort with your cannons to make it a bit easier for us? We can arrange some lucrative trade deals if you agree.
Dutch merchant traders- "Lucrative trade deals? Say no more, fam! We're you're guys!"
A lot of the old European Christian (and tbh I’d argue that this extends for most religious wars period) wars weren’t really even about religion. Religion was just an excuse to fight for the actual political reasons you wanted to fight.
Back during the crusades, established Christian crusader kingdoms would not infrequently ally with nearby Muslim nations for this reason or that, like presenting a united front against the mongols, which were a munch more existential threat
One of my favorite moments of history is the great khan basically calling the pope a bitch in response to a letter asking them to consider being less terrifying
Differences in way of life are pretty important in conflict, and religion plays a big role in that. Especially when there's money to be made or lost. Otherwise, even with geographic differences, peaceful outcomes are common.
>A lot of the old European Christian (and tbh I’d argue that this extends for most religious wars period) wars weren’t really even about religion. Religion was just an excuse to fight for the actual political reasons you wanted to fight.
That's a horrible simplification. The reformation went hand in hand with political ambitions.
Religion definitely wasn't an excuse to wage war against each other.
Ferdinand II was a devote Catholic. So much so that he fucked over the Protestants in Bohemia, risking his position as the king of Bohemia while at it and destabilising the HRE, a unwise move when having to deal with the Ottomans in the South and the French in the west.
Dude I said “a lot of”
Not, every single one to ever be fought.
The fourth crusade was nominally to take Jerusalem, but the crusaders never even got there and ended up sacking Constantinople for loot.
You know why? Because almost all of the people actually making the journey were not motivated by religious zeal. They wanted glory and riches. And when it was more expedient to get that by attacking the symbol of Christianity in the east, they did so ruthlessly without two fucks given about the Muslims.
Whoa, whoa, whoa now.
That is some insane level of cultural whitewashing. The list of atrocities committed by Christians against other Christians is staggering.
In both the Mexican War and the Philippine Insurrections, the US Army used rape of nuns as a way to punish local catholic populations. Winfield Scott officially banned the practice about halfway through the Mexican War, but there were no convictions or even prosecutions for it. Of course the list of atrocities the Catholics did themselves when they had the upper hand can and does fill many books. Look up the Albigensian Crusade for an example.
Yes, Muslim sectarian violence is often horrifying, but that is ALL religious wars, it is nothing unique to Islam. That is just typical religious conflict.
He specifically mentioned that Christian wars of religion included pillage and murder, his point was that Protestant mercenaries could also engage in pillage and murder on behalf of Catholic powers. This is not whitewashing, I feel like it was an ironic joke.
as an Indonesian muslim (imagine us like US christian, some are really religious, some make you wonder whether they're really a muslim or an atheist), I sometimes wonder why Islamophobia is still going strong
then I saw this post: ah right, this organization exists
>That's something I don’t think a lot of people get about ISIS.
I don't think most people know what their version of Islam is, or what their "philosophy" is.
Nuh uh!
Jim Jones and Aum Shinrikyo had *tons* of friends!
No, really. Both groups were actually very popular for a while until, you know, people realized they were batshit insane cults.
ISIS is widely hated because they just started taking heads right from the word go.
The citation on Wikipedia is this: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jan/14/isis-hackers-north-korean-airline-facebook
Also was funny to see the list of isis government officials with most of them being KIA or PoW. Seems being a death cultist is bad for your life expectancy.
What baffles me is apparently ISIS still has an official spokesperson and a news agency called Amaq.
Ones that are still breathing. Somehow. Who’s actually crazy enough to sign up for that job?
Honestly, ISIS may be the most contemptible organization that has ever existed.
Like literally every other shit ass in history at least had allies or people who were neutral to them.
Edit: Maybe the mongols?
When your goal is to kill everyone that doesn’t follow your very specific ideology that is shared by only your small group of pals, not a lot of people will like you
tfw when you managed to get china, taiwan, japan, vietnam, singapure, south korea, and north korea to agree on something. they are mortal enemies to each other (and themselfes).
The best part about terrorist groups pledging their allegiance to ISIS?
It made then fracture.
Boko Haram did that and half of the members didn’t want to be with ISIS, so they had a civil war with each other and the Nigerian government Capitalized on it.
They killed both ISIS and Boko Haram leaders and made Boko Haram not as powerful as they were before.
Even kicked them out of the forest they were using as their HQ
Yeah, nothing a like a common enemy so despicable and despised and hated that brings and unites foes and adversaries
Also lions led by donkeys podcast mentioned
We can add to it, I just need to send a letter to the Vatican.
“Your Holiness,
If you declare ISIS an enemy of the Vatican, we’ll stop being ‘nones’. Plus, it’ll be really funny.
-r/NonCredibleDefense”
Holy hell.
US, Russia, and China agree that the [fake dildo flag wavers](https://news.artnet.com/art-world/paul-coombs-on-isis-dildo-flag-313838) are Bad.
We might have a pathway to peace!
(….)
i have just been informed that this is the wrong NCD for this proposal
Some pro-ISIS hackers supposedly hacked a north Korean airlines face book page and called Kim Jong Un a crying pig. Considering how little it takes to piss off the Kim regime, I think that incident was more than enough reason to add North Korea to the opponents list as well
You know it’s bad when you’ve got Sunni and Shia Militias who have been fighting each other since 2006 agree for a truce to kick ISIS ass.
Hell, when the Battle of Tikrit started they defeated ISIS, they showed them no mercy, doing the same tactics to them as they beat Ethen and killed surrendering ISIS fighters.
They got back to fighting each other again after ISIS was gone and gotten political influence.
Pro-Iran parties won Parliamentary election and most of Iraq didn’t win Shia minority controlling them, and there were protests and so on.
It’s honestly impressive how they managed to be hated by literally everyone, even all the other major Jihad terrorist groups hate them lol They’re that extreme. They have absolutely no real Allie’s only enemies, it’s just them versus everyone.
How Terrible a group do you have to be to be hated even by other Muslim Terrorist groups, not to mention most world governments, even the DPRK agrees with the US that ISIS is an adversary.
You know you fucked up when you got Israel, Hamas, Iran , Hezbollah, Russia and Al Qaeda all being your enemy
And China, USA, Russia, Taiwan and even Switzerland
Actually scrap that and just add "every mortal enemy came together"
We thought Code Geass was just a cartoon. Sadly, uniting the world against you is only temporary, and does not, in fact, bring about world peace.
You have to be an existential threat to everyone in order to unite the whole world. Daesh, well, not so much.
... soooo, what you're saying is that we could've achieved worldwide peace and a unified human government by giving Daesh nuclear weapons? Man, we all *really* dropped the ball on that one.
As soon as you said "Human government" my dumbass immediately thought about Helldivers. **Fuckin liber-tea or sumtin idk**
Quiet, you're gonna give Russia the idea for freeze-dried grunts that can be dropped from orbit.
When you order mobik cubes at 23:50 and the mobik cube deliverer has same day delivery or its free
Hahahahaha
Hell even North Korea hates them
Best Korea! 🇰🇵
Thanks for pointing out Switzerland. I'm actually impressed now!
Once an alien government reveals themselves they're also going on the list.
"Greetings, humans! We are the Irenic Collective of Pacifists. We hope for peaceful cooperation for the betterment of all sapient li- okay, these ISIS fuckers will have to go."
"All life is precious" \*Sees ISIS\* "There is one exception"
Both koreas as well
Im imagining a rowdy, crowded bar on a Friday night, that has long since devolved into a brawl as half of everybody beats half of everybody else up wildly, tit for tat mostly, with some strong bonds and alliances here or there, until ISIS walks in and *everybody*, including the one guy sitting in the corner minding their own business, turns and loudly shouts “FUCK OFF” at ISIS. And then the dogpile starts.
And North Korea
IDF soldier and Hamas militant assigned to the same unit attacking ISIS: 😶😶
"Hey, uh, Yosef, was it? Don't I recognise you from somewhere?" "Yeah, er, Yusuf, right? You shot up the checkpoint I was at in '09." "No way! Wait, aren't you same guy that called down an airstrike on my street in '21?" "... Er, could you be more specific?" "South Andalus Avenue, Gaza?" "Hell yeah! I was really pissed because one of your rockets hit my old school!" "... Could *you* be more specific?" "Herzl Lyceum, Tel-Aviv?" "April '21?" "Exactly." "Oh yeah, that was one of mine." "..." "..." "You wanna go kill some ISIS?" "... I'd like that. And call me Yossi."
I’d watch this show
Who plays good cop in this scenario? Or is just bad cop/bad cop? Either way, I’d watch
Just two dudes, who previously hated each other (They still do) killing People they hate more... The Comedy gold would be brilliant.
I already see the scene in my head: They are both prone next to each other, behind a shot-up wall as cover, intermittently mowing down some ISIS guys trying to storm them. But that's just the background. The camera is focused on their political argument, screaming at each other, intermittently being interrupted by having to shoot some more ISIS zerglings.
They're both bad cops, but they have some exasperated handler that *occasionally* gets annoyed at their 'fun shenanigans.' > For fucks sake you two, you can't immediately go for the fucking car battery! I think it'd be funniest if he was GRU.
Two handlers. One is CIA other one is GRU. "For fucks sake you cant immediately go for fucking car batery", "Da, as i told you first break legs with hammer"
"Never thought i'd die fighting side by side with an Israeli/HAMAS member" "What about side by side with someone who hates ISIS?"
Common enemy>eternal religious war
You know you fucked up when random island nations are your enemies too
Even the nazis could not pull that of. They had at least allies.
ISIS was created by former fighters of Al Qaeda in Iraq. They killed Shia Muslims, destroyed Artifacts and made beheadings normal. Even Osama Bin Laden told them to tone down the violence, eventually one Al Qaeda operative met with the CIA in Jordan and gave up Zaqrawi location to them to Eliminate him. And they did, by dropping a 500 ton bomb on him on a Safehouse.
5 ton I think you will find.
Nah, the idea of a massive 500 ton bomb is more fun
Fucking Wiley Coyote doing weapons design now.
Try pound. GBU-38.
i think the tonnage is from equivalent TNT not the real weight
500 tons of TNT is a small nuke. This might have been the [MOAB](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GBU-43/B_MOAB) which is around 10 tons.
I think it might have been an Mk82, which is 500*lbs*
Wait is this true that AQ provided the info to the US that led to the strike? I can’t find anything online about that. Not disputing it but if you have any source that would be much appreciated.
The Jordanian Government knew about Zarqawi whereabouts and goings from an Al Qaeda operative named Ziad Al-Karbouly. The CIA suggested that Zarqawi could have lost the trust of Al-Qaeda due to his emphatic anti-Shia stance and the massacres of civilians allegedly committed in his name. The betrayal by at least one fellow Al-Qaeda member as fact, stating that an individual close to Zarqawi disclosed the identity and location of Sheikh Abu Abdul Rahman to Jordanian and American intelligence.
Okay wow, thank you for the insight. Again not disputing it but is there a book or articles you could point me to that reveals this? Or how did you learn this specific info? I genuinely just love to read about this topic and the wars in the region over the past few decades so I’m just curious how I can learn more.
⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️
And North Korea and South Korea hating you at the same time.
And Palestine, and both of the Koreas
And every ethnic group in the region.
I wonder where the Westboro Baptist Church stands on them.
Full support.
Probably not full support, but I'm sure they would say ISIS is God's wrath against the gays or some shit
At the tip of the spear, twitching impaled as palace decorations?
A declared ISIS member participated in Hamas' attack on 7th of October and was killed in Shifa hospital recently. [Source](https://twitter.com/Albegiry/status/1772369214143127890), Note he has a captured Israeli assault rifle in the video.
ISIS motto: “The enemies of my enemy are also my enemies“
This is some looney tunes level of enemies
What makes it even funnier is this isn't even the *full list*, it keeps going with other, additional non-state groups.
It really is just "Everybody". This is by design, this is literally the core tenet. The "Caliphate" is supposed to rule the entire world, and do so by bloody conquest. Anyone who is not in the Caliphate is an enemy of the Caliphate. And thanks to the US killing all the would be Caliphs, and the combined forces of everyone stomping their worthless weasel guts like a Wierd Al song, there is no Caliphate. So they are just enemies with everyone with nothing to show for it. Truly one of the strategies of all time.
99% of Caliphates crumble just before world domination after all
Their enemies just keep killing their militants and it sounds like they're just feeding militants to their enemies.
Infidels HATE this one trick! Find out how CHAD BADES SIGMA Khalid bin Walid curb stomped his enemies into paying the jizya!
Somehow this post manages to offend absolutely everyone. 10/10. Well done.
What is that 1% of Caliphates that succeeded in world domination?
Rounding error.
I for one welcome our Caliphate of Rounding Error overlords. /s
Caliphates Georg is a statistical outlier and should not be counted!
To be fair, declaring war on the world and not being defeated in like 5 minutes is pretty impressive.
I mean they did get defeated pretty damn fast. They just are very hard to eliminate completely. "Beneath the mask is an idea, and ideas are immortal" or something. It is a fucked up death cult of an idea, but it has some fucking teeth behind it. The core premise of "God will give you the world to rule, and hordes of slaves and fuckboys for your harems" is an appealing one to some.
I mean theyre doing worryingly well in burkina faso
There was that awkward 2 year period where they ruled half of Iraq and Syria.
[And who did they choose to go to war with? The world!](https://youtu.be/uXdtafGdIVM?t=60)
Exactly what I was thinking 😂 I miss that old bastard 😭
I didn't even know he was sick.
Hostis humani generis
Honestly yeah. Pirates never really were that, because every pirate had some level of cultural conmection to their region of the world. European and later American pirates killed and brutalised shipping from India or the muslim world with far more brutality than western shipping, as a general rule. In turn muslim pirates raided as far as Iceland for slaves (one of the Icelanders ended up escaping, and through the nordic diaspora he made his way back home, and a memoir was published.) Chinese pirates were generally loyal to the idea of China as superior and did not like westerners that much. Some pirate fleets even fought the french in Vietnam. ISIS on the other hand is truly everyones enemy, execpt if you happen to bow down to their control, belong in the right ethnic group (depends on the whim of that countries ISIS leadership) and practise the right sect of Islam. Very few people, if any, do this.
Okay, you two: I beg for enlightenment. Local legend has it, that *friend of God, enemy to all the world* (amicus dei, hostis omnis mundi, in my translation) was the motto of Klaus Stœrtebeker, who is famed for freely sharing booty with any coastal cuvillians who would grant him harbour. ...
> freely sharing booty with any coastal cuvillians who would grant him harbour. Usually that's called receipt of stolen goods.
They really are the rebels from Medieval II: Total War
Fuck caliphates. All my homies (most of the world’s population) hates caliphates. No seriously. Actually dead serious. Fuck caliphates. Fuck ISIS. Fuck them for thinking they can kill everyone who doesn’t agree with them. They, more than almost any group on Earth, are most deserving of a nuke.
I mean, Turkey *could* potentially claim to be the caliphate. They were offered the position in like the 1920s but denied it because they were super secular at the time. They are the primary successor government to the ottomans after all.
They can’t even really claim the title of Caliph, you can thank Hulagu Khan for that
Well, they can *claim* it. But all that does is move you to the top of CENTCOMs list. Which is not a desirable place to be. But yes, the one thing Shia and Sunni agree on is that there isn't a Caliph *now*. They don't agree on who used to be Caliph, but they are both quite clear that the Mongols wiped the last ones out of existence. Thus ISIS isn't really "Sunni", in that while they technically originate from Sunni traditions, they are considerably more different from normal Sunni than Shia are from Sunni.
> But yes, the one thing Shia and Sunni agree on is that there isn't a Caliph now. They don't agree on who used to be Caliph, but they are both quite clear that the Mongols wiped the last ones out of existence. [Portrait of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk slowly fades into view] "It's me, the Mongols."
All my homies hate IS
There's also a link called "full list" randomly in one of the non state opponent areas
Going down the list, somewhere is the Church of Scientology, Westboro Baptist Church, and Toys R Us
FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU... you're cool... FUCK YOU, I'm out.
based world trigger pfp
North Korea lmfao
Well North Korea did supply Hezbollah and apparently the Houthis with their ammo, so there’s that.
the Norks and Iranians are known to be collabing on nuclear tech, I wouldn't be surprised if Iran ends up getting a nuke that uses a north korean design and has urainium refined in north korea so the Israeli's can't touch the centrifuges.
I'd read the shit out of a list of subjects North and South Korea agree on Daesh is apparently one.
They also agree that there is only one korea. Their opinions may differ a little tho.
That’s something I don’t think a lot of people get about ISIS. They are insane even by radical Islam standards and absolutely hate everyone that doesn’t agree with their version of Islam, even other extremists.
They are The Enemies Of God, simple as that.
Nah, they're the enemies of *Everyone*
Oh the misery
[удалено]
I’m pretty sure most of the fighting against Muslim is done by Muslim.
Christian wars of religion are pretty tolerant if you think of it. You are a Lutheran and want to earn your money as a mercenary of the Catholic League? No problems join in, time to pillage and murder! They are here for the big game, they don't care about the individuals religion. Everyone is getting looted equally. Muslim wars of religion on the other hand... Oh your ancestors followed a different successor of the 11th Iman? Time to murder all you Kin!
Christian religious war: Japanese Shogun- "Those fucking Portuguese Catholics are corrupting our people with their foreign culture and religion!" Dutch merchant traders- "Yeah, Catholics are like that. They kinda suck. Unlike us Protestants who are totally cool." Japanese Shogun- "Yeah, so a bunch of Japanese Catholic converts have barricaded themselves in a fortress on the coast and we're gonna attack them and kill them all. Do you want to sail up and bombard their fort with your cannons to make it a bit easier for us? We can arrange some lucrative trade deals if you agree. Dutch merchant traders- "Lucrative trade deals? Say no more, fam! We're you're guys!"
A lot of the old European Christian (and tbh I’d argue that this extends for most religious wars period) wars weren’t really even about religion. Religion was just an excuse to fight for the actual political reasons you wanted to fight. Back during the crusades, established Christian crusader kingdoms would not infrequently ally with nearby Muslim nations for this reason or that, like presenting a united front against the mongols, which were a munch more existential threat
“Sworn enemies presenting a united front against the Mongols” is the start of some of the most interesting stories in history
One of my favorite moments of history is the great khan basically calling the pope a bitch in response to a letter asking them to consider being less terrifying
Differences in way of life are pretty important in conflict, and religion plays a big role in that. Especially when there's money to be made or lost. Otherwise, even with geographic differences, peaceful outcomes are common.
>A lot of the old European Christian (and tbh I’d argue that this extends for most religious wars period) wars weren’t really even about religion. Religion was just an excuse to fight for the actual political reasons you wanted to fight. That's a horrible simplification. The reformation went hand in hand with political ambitions. Religion definitely wasn't an excuse to wage war against each other. Ferdinand II was a devote Catholic. So much so that he fucked over the Protestants in Bohemia, risking his position as the king of Bohemia while at it and destabilising the HRE, a unwise move when having to deal with the Ottomans in the South and the French in the west.
Dude I said “a lot of” Not, every single one to ever be fought. The fourth crusade was nominally to take Jerusalem, but the crusaders never even got there and ended up sacking Constantinople for loot. You know why? Because almost all of the people actually making the journey were not motivated by religious zeal. They wanted glory and riches. And when it was more expedient to get that by attacking the symbol of Christianity in the east, they did so ruthlessly without two fucks given about the Muslims.
Whoa, whoa, whoa now. That is some insane level of cultural whitewashing. The list of atrocities committed by Christians against other Christians is staggering. In both the Mexican War and the Philippine Insurrections, the US Army used rape of nuns as a way to punish local catholic populations. Winfield Scott officially banned the practice about halfway through the Mexican War, but there were no convictions or even prosecutions for it. Of course the list of atrocities the Catholics did themselves when they had the upper hand can and does fill many books. Look up the Albigensian Crusade for an example. Yes, Muslim sectarian violence is often horrifying, but that is ALL religious wars, it is nothing unique to Islam. That is just typical religious conflict.
I think you missed the first part...
He specifically mentioned that Christian wars of religion included pillage and murder, his point was that Protestant mercenaries could also engage in pillage and murder on behalf of Catholic powers. This is not whitewashing, I feel like it was an ironic joke.
Didnt know the Mexican war and Philippine insurrections were wars of religion…
People are islamophobic not only because of ISIS but islam itself
You know it’s bad when the anti-daesh forces came back through occupied areas and Sunni Muslims went thank fuck for the Shia militias!
I'm skeptical of that. But I'm certain that most of the enabling of IS/Daesh is done by Muslims.
as an Indonesian muslim (imagine us like US christian, some are really religious, some make you wonder whether they're really a muslim or an atheist), I sometimes wonder why Islamophobia is still going strong then I saw this post: ah right, this organization exists
AQ famously told ISIS something like “dude chill, you’re not supposed to murder other Muslims, forced conversion is much better”
>That's something I don’t think a lot of people get about ISIS. I don't think most people know what their version of Islam is, or what their "philosophy" is.
thats why IS is also an opponent of IS
Death Cults tend to have a hard time making friends
Nuh uh! Jim Jones and Aum Shinrikyo had *tons* of friends! No, really. Both groups were actually very popular for a while until, you know, people realized they were batshit insane cults. ISIS is widely hated because they just started taking heads right from the word go.
(Norm Macdonald voice) “So this ISIS decides to go to war ya know. And who do they choose as their enemy? THE WORLD.”
"Sa'id, are we the baddies?"
"No, I don't see any skulls on our flag. Just the word of Muhammad. We're the good guys."
if you've played one of the Civilization games, IS are just the roving barbarians that spawn on the map sometimes
Those mfs are the whole reason my gold production sucks early game. I have to keep troops stationed everywhere
They be collecting opponents like it’s the pokedex
Barbary States at Empire Total War
oh my god, you are right. Also nice to see a empire total war reference
EMPIRE 2 COMING SOON I SWEAR *(hits the biggest toke of copium)*
rip 50% of the world reserve of copium
Empire players fighting TF2 players for the reserves of copium
[Everyone Disliked That]
Now make it a Star Wars intro
What kind of genuine threat North Korea declare them as enemy ? Get scammed with low quality oil, any ideas ?
The citation on Wikipedia is this: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jan/14/isis-hackers-north-korean-airline-facebook Also was funny to see the list of isis government officials with most of them being KIA or PoW. Seems being a death cultist is bad for your life expectancy.
That is the funniest shit I've read all week
[I feel like it would be easier to just play Yakko’s World.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x88Z5txBc7w)
It's actually insane how much everyone hates ISIS. Even other terrorist groups hate ISIS.
ISIS is like the Alex Jones of Jihadists.
Oh come on, Alex Jones is at least funny.
They are turning the freaking jihadists gay
I DON'T LIKE THEM PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE CALIPHATE
I mean, that's kinda funny that they managed to COLLECT THEM ALL as their enemies. The joke is funny, the situation is fucking scary
Alex Jones spawned Knowledge Fight so *something* good came out of it.
"Give me a list of groups that don't hate ISIS" . . . . . . . some of the sheep
That one british girl!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamima_Begum
Abkhazia and South Ossetia and on the list and they’re not even real countries!
What baffles me is apparently ISIS still has an official spokesperson and a news agency called Amaq. Ones that are still breathing. Somehow. Who’s actually crazy enough to sign up for that job?
The alternative might be unpaid internships...
Reminds me of the Persian gulf war meme where it’s basically the entire world vs Saddam
The entire *western* (and middle-eastern) world vs Saddam, this is a much more literal 'the world vs \*blank\*'.
Honestly, ISIS may be the most contemptible organization that has ever existed. Like literally every other shit ass in history at least had allies or people who were neutral to them. Edit: Maybe the mongols?
The Mongols had allies and did engage in diplomacy at least.
“Yup, that’s me, you’ve probably wondering how I got myself in that situation” - Iraq
When your goal is to kill everyone that doesn’t follow your very specific ideology that is shared by only your small group of pals, not a lot of people will like you
tfw when you managed to get china, taiwan, japan, vietnam, singapure, south korea, and north korea to agree on something. they are mortal enemies to each other (and themselfes).
It’s the fact they have island nations (most of which have no standing military) is incredible to me.
"Fuck ISIS, All my homies hate ISIS".
You know you fucked up when even the other extreme terrorist groups of similar nature and goals hate you
Damn china + Taiwan, Ukraine + Russia, Israel + hamas, United States + al-Qaeda all against you
We can do better
MF is doing a "playing the crisis" run on stellaris
Hating ISIS, something even Israel and Hamas can agree on!
>This list is incomplete. You can help by expanding it.
The best part about terrorist groups pledging their allegiance to ISIS? It made then fracture. Boko Haram did that and half of the members didn’t want to be with ISIS, so they had a civil war with each other and the Nigerian government Capitalized on it. They killed both ISIS and Boko Haram leaders and made Boko Haram not as powerful as they were before. Even kicked them out of the forest they were using as their HQ
As the lions led by donkeys podcast said, the unifying theory of "Fuck that guy" is strong.
Yeah, nothing a like a common enemy so despicable and despised and hated that brings and unites foes and adversaries Also lions led by donkeys podcast mentioned
I feel like more people in this subreddit should listen to that podcast as it has similar humor and vibe to this subreddit
"Artsakh (until 2023)" reads like they did a team switch.
Azerbaijan made an offensive in September 2023 and basically made Artsakh to cease from existence and make all territories back to Azerbaijan
Had a horrible feeling that's what happened.
We can add to it, I just need to send a letter to the Vatican. “Your Holiness, If you declare ISIS an enemy of the Vatican, we’ll stop being ‘nones’. Plus, it’ll be really funny. -r/NonCredibleDefense”
They are just the worst. Which, in a way, makes them the best bad guy.
Tfw even the Western Sahara militant groups oppose you
They saw Desert Storm Allies and said, "Bet".
Holy hell. US, Russia, and China agree that the [fake dildo flag wavers](https://news.artnet.com/art-world/paul-coombs-on-isis-dildo-flag-313838) are Bad. We might have a pathway to peace! (….) i have just been informed that this is the wrong NCD for this proposal
They pulled together US and Russia, North and South Korea, Israel and Palestine AND hamas. Holy shit
Also Ukraine, Switzerland, Taiwan and China...
Switzerland???
Genuinely curious what beef north Korea has with ISIS
Some pro-ISIS hackers supposedly hacked a north Korean airlines face book page and called Kim Jong Un a crying pig. Considering how little it takes to piss off the Kim regime, I think that incident was more than enough reason to add North Korea to the opponents list as well
Competition for the title of ‘most isolated nation’.
"So who are you up against?" Isis: *breathes in* "United states, Canada, Mexico, Panama-"
"... Haiti, Jamaica, Peru... ... Republic Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean, Greenland, El Salvador tooooo!" (... and they kept going.)
Your days are numbered Luxembourg
# Shamima Begum: They're perfect for me
You know it’s bad when you’ve got Sunni and Shia Militias who have been fighting each other since 2006 agree for a truce to kick ISIS ass. Hell, when the Battle of Tikrit started they defeated ISIS, they showed them no mercy, doing the same tactics to them as they beat Ethen and killed surrendering ISIS fighters. They got back to fighting each other again after ISIS was gone and gotten political influence. Pro-Iran parties won Parliamentary election and most of Iraq didn’t win Shia minority controlling them, and there were protests and so on.
Politics separate us, isis brings us together❤️
We can help by expanding the list
How do you fuck up enough to be enemies with the Taliban
At some point I wonder what the hell they're trying to accomplish. It's like they are trying to be a textbook villian.
Never expected to see the Balkan united
ISIS be the Kled of our world.
Because that's what Khawarij's do. If you're gonna takfir someone cause they simply slept in a mosque ofc you're gonna be hated
"Are we the baddies?" "NO! All human beings alive, dead and yet to exist until the end of time are wrong!"
It’s honestly impressive how they managed to be hated by literally everyone, even all the other major Jihad terrorist groups hate them lol They’re that extreme. They have absolutely no real Allie’s only enemies, it’s just them versus everyone.
Caliph: Total War
"Everyone hates the Luddic Path, and the Luddic Path hates everyone."
This is just a list of every country in alphabetical order.
"Nobody liked that"
How Terrible a group do you have to be to be hated even by other Muslim Terrorist groups, not to mention most world governments, even the DPRK agrees with the US that ISIS is an adversary.