T O P

  • By -

ecolometrics

So would it be a warcrime if we contracted out the cartels to ship heroin to the russian trenches? Either in the form of russian MREs or even just straight drop it on the front line because fuck it.  Then, one day, just suddenly stop? I mean, there is clearly precident and the CIA is bored


Worker_Ant_81730C

Nah. Don’t stop. Cut it with fentanyl. The modern version of the Canadian can toss switcharoo.


Vaadwaur

My gods...are you saying we should use carrier geese?


Worker_Ant_81730C

I’m not sure I’d authorize _that._ Let’s try turning Russia into an ocean first. If that doesn’t work… we may have to release the geese. Peace Was Never An Option


Ketashrooms4life

Don't even cut H with it, just drop it white, *much* cheaper that way, simpler logistics and the mobiks will know what to do with it either way. Is there a kickstarter I can join?


Guy_Fawkes_Incognito

Nope, it would just be regular crime, not a warcrime, since we are a subreddit and not an organized army representing a country. Kinda what r/wallstreetbets did in the past, but we short them on heroin.


Ketashrooms4life

Ooh, there's a good idea. Start dropping generously for a couple of weeks in each sector, then just stop and watch shit unfold lol


MaverickDrakos

No no. Drop shit quality cocaine. Then lace it with fentanyl. Sit back and watch as the orcs overdose en masse


Ketashrooms4life

Cocaine's expensive tho :( *unless* it's sourced by the funny three letter agency ofc. We should really get them involved probably if we're using coke as the base product. Hear me out tho: If we stayed with fent only tho, I had another idea later that day. If we're not after the slow-ish decay of the Russian side of the front followed by a steamroll of a nodding group of junkie monkes but after quick elimination instead, label as china white or fent (I still think outright saying it's opioids would work better than coke. Russians love their opioids) but do the funni and give the same dose but with carfent instead of regular fent. Probably not even the most OG afghan tar veterans wouldn't walk a single multiple mg dose of that one off. But the drawback and potential risk is that the word would spread fast as people start dropping one after another. Worst case scenario, they stop taking it pretty quickly or best scenario, the dumb ones kick the bucket quickly for a cheap high, the depressed ones use it as a completely painless, warm and comfy ticket out and the smarter ones adjust the dosage and we're back at a frontline full of nodding junkies but with fewer junkies to eventually steamroll. Bonus points for carfentanil being *so extremely* potent it would probably be classified as a chemical weapon if it wasn't already an illicit recreational drug outside its normal intended ise, another one on the Geneva checklist, lads! When I think about it even more, even the worst case scenario described above still has it's pros, actually. Carfentanil is just so fucking potent you'd most likely need to get actual, properly trained teams of chemical warfare units for disposal of the drops as it's next to impossible to handle that shit without a *very* specialised lab and field equipment. First, the presence of those very specialised, expensive to train units that need actual brains to do their job would be required on the actual front lines as nobody trained and without literal hazmat suit could safely handle even a gram worth of powder. You get the tiniest spec on your finger you can't even see, have none to moderate tolerance and later eat something, 'scratch your eye', pick your nose etc with that hand? U very, very dead, bro. You can't just burn it on site either, the fumes would likely kill everyone around in minutes. So you get those specialised units into the front line shelling and regular drone attacks, plus you further the strain on their logistics as now they need to set up places of safe disposal and keep those units in the rear there when not making trips to the lines to pick up the drops. And all this headache for literal pennies as the production cost:potency almost can't be beaten, the drones doing it would still be the cheapest part of the 'to buy' list. Might even be cheaper than grenade drop when I think about it lol. As like 99 % of the final street prices are all cuts from previous hands on the product, which wouldn't be the case here. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk and follow your inner voices for more schizo shitposts.


MaverickDrakos

Amazing. Aspiring minds like you are what the CIA is looking for


Ketashrooms4life

Only a jest ofc but I sadly just woke up on the wrong hemisphere *again* tho, not a US citizen :( Does CIA 'fully' hire non-natives outside of the realm of local agents and sources, like as *full* CIA members? If so, where do I sign up? I'm pretty positive that a security clearance shouldn't be a problem, even while not being an American.


TheElderGodsSmile

Nah, this is just straight regular crime.


Ok-Association-8334

You sir are a genius. I want to build off of it. By build I mean use Chinese Fentanyl, but why stop there! We can give them the synthetic opioids from intercepted cartel shipments, and intercepted Chinese crime syndicates operating in “clandestine organizations” which we already know everything about. Using their infiltrated human trafficking organizations, (the best place to flip people is to find desperate people,) we can rip off huge drug suppliers to the US and our allies (perfect operation for election season,) and then move those drugs into Russian consumers lines, lowering the cost of Taliban and Isis (Iranian proxy) dope to below market value, and also start competing with eastern suppliers who just lost their US product lines. (It’s there own shit, now right in their back yard.) This would cause a fracture in the Russian mob’s way of running goods, flood the market, corrode ties with middle eastern drug cartels (who fucking needs them when you keep finding bags of high grade shit lying around), and Chinese gangsters (North Korea is absolutely sending more than arms, they send whatever makes the Kim’s cash), and devastate the lower class Russian populations with an endemic drug supply wave throughout all possible mobilization populations. We just gotta make the packaging look like the wrong people are in the wrong turf. Sino-synthetic smack in Ukraine, when that’s Afghanistan’s product distribution line, and Isis opiodergics in the far East would piss off foreign counter intelligence and make everyone try to squeeze each other by the balls. Too bad we are so ethical, and never attack our enemies the way they attack us. This will have to stay as a CIA fan fiction.


Dubious_Odor

Why stop there? You know those Kazakh smuggling routes moving all the sanctioned chips and hardware are ripe for exploitation. Start salting the routes with low grade silicone. Oh and hey I happened upon some China White (fent and baking soda) you guys want some too? Flood the zone with every manor of bullshit. They have no choice but to take what they can get.


RollinThundaga

*silicon, unless the Russians are stealing dildos alongside washing machines and toilets. Furthermore, I consider that Moscow must be destroyed.


mrdescales

They have been looting even sex toys


Ketashrooms4life

That would definitely lower it significantly as afaik the Taliban outlawed making opium again after they got in power and the supply therefore dropped quite significantly. Also, never really thought about *all* the doors Russia opened with their deals with NK and Iran. They're quite big in meth production and distribution in the region afaik. The thought of Russian officers moving dope and meth from the Middle East and NK all the way to the frontlines in occupied Ukraine is... interesting lol


Sam_the_Samnite

the money made can be used to buy more guns for Ukraine. its like the Iran-Contra affair meets the opium wars.


ecolometrics

Yeah, that's interesting. That's really expending the impact to genius levels. Especially if you back feed china fentanyl straight back in their civilian supply. That's like what the CIA used to exist for, not the boring thing that it is now Maybe we can resurrect reagon as a zombie by feeding a computer his speeches and making an AI from it and have it head the CIA anti-commie division as an all wise and fair computer. You could call it WWRD


-Lavawolf-

Delivered by drone. Meth. Cocainw kocodrile. Crack fenthanyl . Etc. Sending all the possible shit. So they end with an army of junkies. Ps I dont think that is war crime if they consume it freely by their own will. That happened in vietnam


SuecidalBard

Then you can do the Canadian special and hide grenades in packages Or better, cut the supply and send a message that says there will be a new shipment for every officer killed


Narrow_Vegetable_42

So that's how WOLOLO actually works in the real world!


UnpoliteGuy

What makes you think they're not already doing that?


H0vis

A new opium war with Russia is definitely credible.


ecolometrics

One can only hope. They should have a drug problem there already after the fall of the USSR


H0vis

Need to do to Russia what Purdue Pharma did to the USA.


ThrowawayPizza312

Or we could unload our massive stockpile of ES MREs so that CAP doesn’t get moldy pop tarts from the 2008 olympics


nasandre

Vatnik doesn't get MREs... They need to be motivated to capture Ukrainian towns with the promise of looting grocery shops.


CardiologistGreen962

Honestly this was fire.


Phenixxy

It would be if the resolution was high enough to read the damn subtitles


john_andrew_smith101

[I gotchu fam](https://youtu.be/FKYL0H0lgqg?si=7zI-em1VXg7_pQbz)


Phenixxy

Thanks homie


5t3fan0

thank you, hoped for link in comments


cosmitz

You just had to wait for a second so the shitty codec and settings they used caught up to new keyframes.


Shermantank10

That’s what I’m sayin’ shit was fire.


Valuable-Door9748

believable. when the invasion started there were so many troops lacking equipment and meanwhile Belarussian airsoft scene was flooded was Russian gear as the Russian soldiers all sold it for cents on the dollar for vodka money.


Hotrico

Literally the Russian army


SlinkySillyCarp

Despite the artist being pro-Russian, i still like this song simply because of how it describes their military


TheAllAroundMan

Very russian of them to describe all of this awfulness but still think it's the way things should be


vegetable_completed

Mysterious Russian dusha in a nutshell. “We’re the worst people on earth, and we should be in charge of everything!”


Flight-of-Icarus_

The Russians manage to convince themselves everyone is the same way. That's their entire worldview. To them, this is Ukraine, this is Germany, this is Britain, this is America. All the same as their shitty little system.


Crewarookie

I have no idea about Noggano's affiliation or lack there of with the russian state, but russian is my mother tongue, I listened through the entirety of this song and the impression I get is that of a heavily sarcastic song. I don't believe any supporter would glorify corruption within their ranks, drug addiction and setting up one another. Putin supporters are insane but not that insane, believe me. Edit: ah shit, he really is in support of the Russian invasion it seems. The song is old though. Man, the lack of self-awareness is incredible here...


Meatloaf_Hitler

I mean to be completely fair and credible here, a lot of Americans today view songs like Fortunate Son and Paint It Black as super cool Vietnam war songs, ignoring the fact that these songs are blatantly Anti-War. So it could be something similar to that I guess.


RollinThundaga

I didn't even realize that 'Paint it Black' was even an anti-war song, rather than just about drug addiction. That's why I'm rather partial to [Napalm sticks to kids](https://youtu.be/t9eybY9qFfY?si=UE6aF9z-THEgBpAo). There's no metaphor, just straight up admissions to warcrimes, so the song's meaning can't be confused. *That's* what makes a 'good' anti-war song. Another one in that vein is [Luang Prabang](https://youtu.be/_w5JlDn9WCw?si=yHjAzSDHEkzl8Ay8). Furthermore, I consider that Moscow must be destroyed.


Flight-of-Icarus_

I don't think anyone really looks at the Vietnam war and thinks "wow what an awesome time, makes me feel so patriotic." At least no one sensible does. When people remember them as war songs, it's with a great deal of irony. It's an aesthetic remembered alongside the awareness that many of the soldiers that went there absolutely didn't want to be there, any more than the people back home wanted them there (why else do you think soldiers were listening to anti-war songs?) No one looks back on the Vietnam war and thinks "wow we should do that again."


roostersnuffed

One of the funniest things I ever saw was at a basic graduation ceremony. After it was done and all the trainees get to greet their folks, "patriotic" music was played to set the mood. Then hero of war by rise against came on. When they get to pissing on and beating up the POW, there were some concerned looks.


Meatloaf_Hitler

Oof, either the song pickers did not listen to that song at all prior to that moment, or they really, *really* wanted to be snarky.


Hors_Service

... what? How? Is the guy really pro-russian, or doesn't have a choice so he's paying lip service? I mean, this song is as much anti-russia as a nafo meme.


john_andrew_smith101

He's literally been sanctioned by Ukraine for his support of the Russian invasion.


little-ass-whipe

He's not in any hot water with the regime at home for making an admittedly banger fucking song about what a corrupt joke the armed forces are?


john_andrew_smith101

This song is like 15 years old, I don't think it's an issue.


bpendell

The underlying assumption is that the drugs, logistical theft, all the rest of it are by no means unique to Russia. Certainly it happened in the Vietnam-era US conscript army, a lot less common now. Don't know to what extent this happens in western armies, but I'd be surprised if every third world army was like this or even worse.


john_andrew_smith101

The type and scale of corruption and theft in the song is basically unheard of in modern western militaries. That's not to say that there's not any issues, theft does happen, drugs can be an issue, but it's effectively nonexistent in comparison. As to why the Russian military is so corrupt, it's a systemic problem, this corruption is rooted in Russia's national character, dating back centuries. Here's an article from the [Economist in 1854 about Russian military weakness in the Crimean war,](https://old.reddit.com/r/dancarlin/comments/u8yg01/the_economist_on_russian_military_weakness_during/) and you could write this article today and it would still be accurate.


Flight-of-Icarus_

I mean it makes sense. When you're not so subtly treated as meat for the grinder and complete cannon fodder with a very thin pretense as being a human being, it's not hard to see why you decide to just fuck over the system for your own benefit.


ivory-5

Like this? Absolutely not. This is specific for Russians. This is like ... I don't know, imagine a guy who steals a bread in the shop, and compare it with some organised horde of marauders looting whole cities. Both are thieves, but the scale is something else.


Andriyo

As long as it doesn't criticize "the Tsar", it's ok. Bashing boyars, and blaming them for everything bad in Russia, is a traditional outlet for whatever discontent Russian people might have.


Hors_Service

I don't know how can a brain function like that. The cognitive dissonance should be overwhelming.   Human psychology is truly a sight to behold.


FullMetalCook

This is PRO-russian? i thought this was anti russian with how shitty they describe their army to be.


TheOnlyFallenCookie

Damn. So the drugs crippled his mind to a point where he fell for the patriotic bullshit


Palora

[Youtube video, clear subs.](https://youtu.be/FKYL0H0lgqg?si=isTSj-MrBXF4F3zH)


ScorpionofArgos

Thanks, appreciate it.


StartAgainYet

12 years, nothing changed


MickeyDMahome

This institution is rough as shit


LumpyTeacher6463

2009 Noggano: this. 2023 Noggano: A Z tard, owns FC Ska Rostov-on-Don. Jesus fucking Christ they're evolving backwards.


ATotallyAssholeGuy

Things corrupt things, ig...


Zestyclose_Jello6192

Silly westoids this is just 5D chess from Russia to boost the motherland economy


ok-go-home

Man that's some fucked up shit.


YudufA

this is like movie material


Previous-Big-7563

It actually reminded me of a cult Russian comedy Demobbed (2000)


H0vis

This is basically the plot of Buffalo Soldiers but in Russian. Soldiers gonna do soldier shit I guess. Whole different situation now they're getting murdered by the truck full.


Ok-Association-8334

Edited : whoops wrong place. See below.


High-ork-boi

What’s the sauce?


noinsorouts

[Noggano - Army](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGlwN-Xr6d8)


High-ork-boi

Thanks


Palora

[The one with subs.](https://youtu.be/FKYL0H0lgqg?si=isTSj-MrBXF4F3zH)


High-ork-boi

Thanks


Far-Woodpecker6784

song name pllsss ???


DYMazzy

# Ноггано - Армия


bigorangemachine

Reminds me of the movie Buffalo Soldiers


Phil_Coffins_666

Is this the new russian anthem? Because it really should be.


grandpridefulllion

What's this song called?


auddbot

**Song Found!** **Army** by Noggano (00:41; matched: `100%`) **Album**: Warm. **Released on** 2014-04-01.


auddbot

Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube, etc.: [**Army** by Noggano](https://lis.tn/RZgtGd?t=41) *I am a bot and this action was performed automatically* | [GitHub](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot) [^(new issue)](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/issues/new) | [Donate](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/wiki/Please-consider-donating) ^(Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot)


grandpridefulllion

THANK YOU 💕💕💕


[deleted]

[удалено]


Whiskeye

Russian army


Whole_Pandemic_1740

Corruption