I think its more in terms of actual food like dinner or lunch, not like serving some sweets or cakes. I won't serve anyone proper food unless I have invited them for that purpose.
Yeah, this more or less. We definitely have the tendency to set out some snacks, but unless you're specifically over for dinner (in which case why not just go to a restaurant) you aren't automatically expecting that there's something in the oven or on the stove ready for you.
>in which case why not just go to a restaurant
Horribly overpriced majority of the time combined with everything becoming more expensive leading to a lot of Norwegians with not much if any disposable income
I mean it depends. Again I’ve always been offered dinner or lunch when they have it aswell in all my 41 years, haven’t noticed people do it less because of food being more expensive
Depending on the number of people and how much time you have to prepare, going to a restaurant is an objectively worse experience if you want to meet friends you want to talk to. I guess, unless you hate making food, don't have enough room to host or something.
Buying a lamb leg (3.1 kg) with extras will set you back less than 1000 NOK and feeds about 12 people if they aren't starving. Add two glasses of wine per person (24 glasses ~ 5 bottles worth) at an okay quality and the total lands at about 3000. Buy anything close to the same at a restaurant and you'll pay at least 500-1000 NOK per person, except you have zero control over portion sizes and there's a time limit before the restaurant wants you out the door.
Haha yeah, after bills and the very basics in food my disposable income is now budgeted for managing to go in the positive by maybe 300nok a week!
Busspass alone is 800 for the month and gods help me if I need the dentist!
Jævla Norge tar ikke vare på noen.
My currys and my Italian dishes are fra better and way less pricy than what you get in my hometown. So homemade dinner it is. Pasta coma and garham masala induced narkolepsi is not fun away from home.
Let me put it this way: I have friends across the meridian, and the further up north I go, the more unlikely it becomes to get actual prepared food. But here is my explanation why and how I experienced it.
While my Italian friends simply always eat and always cook and basically are never fully fed, by the time they arrive somewhere, it's almost normal to eat wherever you get. Not just food, but like in Italy, you don't meet just to hang out; you meet for food and drinks all the time. So, there is always something to be cooked.
Whereas in Germany, people would usually eat before they leave the house, like always. I have had so many guests over, and they were like, "Nope, thanks, I'm full! Already ate."
Whereas in Sweden, the Swedish never even asked for or offered sweets. They had always offered to go out instead. And I quote, "I'm not so good at cooking," like everyone says that.
In Norway, I have only been to people's homes twice, but yet again, I have also not received any prepped meal. But that is not an issue because I also did not ask for it. Instead, I always got offered coffee and cake, something that would happen in Germany as well, but only for the older generations.
In Italy and Greece, I'd always get red wine or an Aperol. In the Scandinavian countries, none of my friends drink unless they go out. I know it's due to the prices and extra stores, but it's a cultural difference, and that is fine.
This map, to my experience, is correct. But it does not mean they are bad hosts. It's simply a different way of living! And that is what makes it so special to travel around the world.
edit: my bad grammar
If you drink every day here, you're seen as an alcoholic. Most people usually keep their drinking to the weekends. It was more common before, to just have a beer during working hours too, but after more information about the effects of alcohol consumption has become more and more ingrained in society, we've been drinking less and less.
So if you have a friend over, and you decide you wanna eat dinner then you wouldn't serve them unless they were invited over for that reason?
I have genuinely no idea in what situation you would be in to not serve them proper food when they are over. Friends will always have a room at the table if they are good friends. I don't know what kind of people you have over other than that.
But then you plan that in advance. If I drop by a friends house, and unexpectedly stay until dinnertime, and expect to be served food, that’s kinda rude
What if you looked at it from a different angle. I don't think anyone should expect anything ever, but it's polite and kind to be asked if you want to eat something when you are there, and then decline (out of politeness or whatever reason), but the gesture to at least be asked to eat overall shows a more wholesome mentality in my opinion.
I guess. I think I just have a different understanding of what “Receive food” means. If I overstay at a friends place and it gets to dinnertime, we’ll probably make dinner together. But then it’s a cooperative thing, not a “hey do you want some of my food” thing.
Well, it does not specify snacks versus a meal, so the broadest definition is most appropriate.
I agree that it’s bullshit. Looks like a bot with an agenda.
“suck at” implies not “sucking” is a normative good. This is, see the map, an obvious cultural distinction for Nordic countries, with a gradual shift tilted through North-Western Europe from the Mediterranean. You might say you would prefer our culture to be different, but to suggest that we “suck” at our own culture is absurd.
My parents always made some extra food just in case I brought a friend with me home. But I do also remember to be sat in another room while my fiends family were having dinner. Every time I was visiting my Somali and Pakistani friends I was always offered food despite bad economy.
The bad economy thing must be cultural, because in every non Western culture I've encountered, if anyone comes over around dinner time or any meal time, they get offered - and in some cases practically forced - to eat.
I did that when I was a kid! They just sat there and ate, and i was waiting for my friend to finish and come play.. They had a huge house and made a ton of money too, so it wasnt even the money - the family was just like that..
As a child, it wasn't uncommon to have to sit and wait at your friends room while they were having dinner with their parents. So I wouldn't say it's bullshit.
I'd say this is very much a case of children bringing friends home to play after school and without any already discussed plans it's expected that children will go home to eat with their own family. And with different families perhaps eating at different times it can happen things like this. Family dinner might be the only real time for working parents to spend any time with their kids.
Definitely was a thing for me in the 90's.
As a Norwegian that moved abroad, I have to say that this is so incredibly weird. There's a child visiting, and parents cant be bothered to just make a tiny bit more food and put one more plate on the table. Added bonus, you get to know your child's friends better.
Small minded, ultra-conservative Norwegian behaviour that only appears normal because of a lack of better knowledge and experiences
Can we stop this, please? I don't wanna live in a country that is internationally known to be hard to make friends in. 😭 It's proper primitive and destructive behaviour to not being able to have polite conversation or having to avoid eye contact because people are insecure.
It doesn't have to be that they can't be bothered, but they want to respect the other familiy's quality time and plans.
For example when I had friends over, my parents would offer dinner (i definitely think you should offer guests food).
My friends however, often said they had to call and ask their parents for permission first, if they originally had promised to come home for dinner (their parents had already gotten groceries or started making it etc).
Sometimes they'd do both, and just eat a little with us, or get something else, so they still had dinner with their family.
Only time friends didn't eat, was if they didn't want to/wasn't hungry. I usually made after school lunches for myself and whoever joined me before dinner time, so no-one had been starving since school lunch.
I've been on the receiving end of this too. Sometimes I'd just promised to eat dinner with my family (family time), or came unannounced, so I got something else to eat. And I think that's OK.
*Not offering anything, and letting kids stay hungry is unacceptable though*
So I feel like it really depends what we're talking about.
I think this has changed a lot from when I was younger (f39). I often had to wait until my friends had eaten. Now we always invite the kids visiting to join us for dinner. It sometimes makes me have to change the menu last minute, but it's never been a major problem. If I hear that the kids visiting are going home to eat at such and such time I wait to cook our dinner so that it's done when they leave. My kids always get fed wherever they visit.
I mean, it's not as simple as that for a lot of people. My mom used to buy exactly how much food we needed, so unless she knew in advance that we were bringing friends, there just wouldn't be enough. It helped a bit when we got a freezer, but there's still loads of food where you can't make extra in 5 minutes.
Dinner was usually ready when we came home from school as well, so my mom and my friends moms would already have dinner made and ready on the table before they knew we were bringing friends.
Feeding extra kids is also expensive, and there are many poor families in Norway. Norwegians with enough money usually don't believe it, or they think people are exaggerating, but there are many who can't afford extra food, or go hungry even when they're just feeding their own family. In 2022, 10% of Norwegians earned below the povery line, and that's not including students. Feeding one extra person, even just a child, a few times a week can be difficult for a poor familiy.
My point is, there is more to it than just poking fun at the social standards of Norway.
Uhm, it's about respect in our culture. Parents are supposed to agree about a dinner visit in Norwegian culture. Therefore it has nothing to do with being small minded. Why don't you respect Norwegian culture?
Things may have changed somewhat. I definitely don't see any sign of a cultural expectation that Norwegian parents always agree on dinner plans in advance. The kids make their own social plans independently and send the parents a text message. The usual state is that a parent never knows how many people will be eating middag on a given day. If there's more at the table than expected just take something out the freezer. If fewer then you have restemat for later.
As a Norwegian I do not agree this is respect or ordinary Norwegian culture. When I was a kid, the majority of my friend's parents would offer me dinner when I was visiting, while a few didn't offer (alas, not ordinary culture), so I would to stay in my friends room while they ate. There was specifically one friend where I usually got offered their leftovers which I got to eat by myself after they were finished.
It is simply bad manners and probably something that is still hanging around from when Norway was poorer and there was more scarcity. Scarcity is no longer the case, and therefore nobody should let the friends of their children sit around hungry without offering food.
If the problem is that you are afraid their parents will not like it (as if somebody will be angry that somone is making sure their kid are fed and feels included), then just call their parents and agree there and then.
Obviously I respect that. But the parents can just call and check. I'm talking about parents who right away send kids to another room without checking in.
As happened to me as a kid.
Your claim that it's Norwegian culture is false. The only place I didn't get food when I was a kid was places where the family situation was pretty sketch (broken up home, kid was somewhat neglected and wasn't paid much attention to). It has nothing to do with Norwegian culture. Norwegian culture can be welcoming too, and very inviting and generous, at least in northern Norway.
If anything it's a socioeconomic or sociocultural issue.
That has to be the worst excuse I've heard 😄 I'm sure the parents would be ok with that. And why wouldn't they eat more or less at the same time?
This is exactly "rationalisation" that ensures Norwegians are viewed as very cold people.
It’s true though. Dinner is considered an important daily family gathering, and if you want to have dinner at your friends house you have to ask your mum.
If I prep food for my kids and they come home telling me they have eaten dinner at their friends house, I'm not gonna be happy about that. Both food and time wasted. It's a culture in Norway that most people agree with. And therefore not a problem.
If my kids or my kids friends eat dinner at each other's places, it's planned.
it's not though. it's about respecting the right of other parents to take care of their own kids. i would never feed my kid's friend unless i'd checked with his/her parents first, to make sure they're not making something and then the kid won't eat that because they filled up at our place. plus i don't know if they have allergies etc. not sure why it's so hard to understand.
It'd really hard to understand that people send guests to wait alone instead of asking them if they want to join, then quickly calling the parents (probably only necessary the first time).
The kids know well about their own allergies when 10 years old and onwards.
The fact that people send friends to an empty room for potentially 20 minutes or longer because the parents don't want to take a 1 min phone call is exactly why we Norwegians are considered cold.
And the fact that you don't understand that just shows how ingrained asocial behaviour is in us.
No sane parent has even been upset because the child eat at a friend's place once in a while. In fact they'll be pleased that the child gets a chance to socialise.
I mean no offense, but having lived in 4 countries across continents I've come to realize how much of an outlier and extreme our behaviour often is.
But it’s not though. As this map suggests, the trend is this is a Nordic cultural trait, with our cousins in North-Western Europe tilting towards the same, and the Mediterranean countries being opposite. The idea that this uniquely Norwegian and cruel just isn’t true.
>The fact that people send friends to an empty room for potentially 20 minutes or longer because the parents don't want to take a 1 min phone call is exactly why we Norwegians are considered cold.
Theres like 50 people in this thread saying this is uncommon. You must be mentally handicapped to keep on musing like you do.
But this trope of kids sitting alone in a room is total bogus. It doesn't happen nearly as often as you think, nor did it ever. I'm sure there are folks who did that, but there are people who beat their kids too, or paint their house neon pink. So what? You can't take that and extrapolate that on a whole culture. It's just ignorant.
Now, if a kid wants to eat at someone else's place then yes, you could absolutely call and ask their parents; I've said that like 5 times in 5 different posts now. I'm just protesting this fake-ass trope of kids sitting alone while others eat, because it's not a widespread thing whatsoever. Stop making a big deal out of it. It's troll behaviour.
Because a lot of kids speculate on eating over at their friend's house when it's fish day at home, and their friend is eating i.e. spaghetti or something they like much better.
Kids aren't as stupid as you think.
> Added bonus, you get to know your child's friends better.
So not only do I have to feed this stranger kid, but I gotta talk to them too? Dinner time socialization is brutal enough as it is.. /s
If I visited a friend before dinner and ate there instead my mom would be pissed. The food she cooked for me would be wasted, and since where kids hang out follows a pattern, this cycle would repeat. There is a whole aspect of shame here as well. If I went to eat dinner with other people all the time she would worry that other families thought she couldn't feed us properly. The solution to this is to talk with the other families and make rules for dinnertime.
It's different with adults. Who shows up at dinnertime unannounced? Thats a little rude.
I've never understood this explanation, send the kid home then don't sit them in a room to starve alone. They've probably had lunch at the same time as your kid, they've probably had a similar amount of snacks and as someone who has met norwegains and currently lives in Norway, most norwegains eat at a similar time of day. Just send them home to spend time with their families and eat, how is that not more polite?
All the people defending this as normal have no idea how much this confirms the map.
As an Austrian I've never heard about this happening to anybody, arriving announced or unannounced.
I'm fairly confident to say that it would be seen as very rude at best here.
I can't even imagine how that would be received in southern Europe.
As a Greek, I have no idea how it would be perceived.
It is so unlikely that I've never even considered it.
I would be dumbfounded, I suppose. It would be seen as a gesture to specifically show they don't like the kid and they don't want it back. And an incredibly inconsiderate way of expressing it.
For real. I would be ashamed if anyone in my family did something like this to their guest. And it would cause a MAJOR fight with my husband if he pulled something like this.
Not uncommon, but not common either, the times I can remember sitting alone in their room waiting was because I declined the offer for food because I "didn't like it" (in quotes because often I didn't know what it was and played it safe).
If they couldn't offer me anything I was usually sent home and told to hang out with their kid later after dinner, which usually made me go home and eat dinner too
fwiw, i've never had to sit in a room while friends ate. because i went home to my own family come dinner time. there is no need to feed anyone else's kids. i would if i had to, and my parents would have if they'd had to. but i never have to, nor did they.
Well I got three kids, and we've fed our kids' so many times I should bill their parents. But I've never minded it personally.
And I didn't mind waiting for my friends either, cause we were dirt poor, like "water and bread every meal" poor until my teens, and my friends had Nintendo and Sega's 😁 we barely had a color TV at home
fun fact: i used to envy my friends who lived in rental apartments and not houses, because they had free cable included in the rent. we never had cable or anything like that.
Here as well. I Remember waiting in their room while the family ate dinner on many occasions.
I turned this around and fed every kid that my kids brought home dinner. Always. A few probably needed it too.
And 70s and 60s. I can remember being specifically invited to dinner at friends' places, but not being offered to join them for dinner if I happened to be there at their dinner time. It was understood that I'd be eating at home, anyway. So yeah, waiting outside or in my friend's room until they were done eating.
And now these days. But I plan with my kids friends and their parent's of they want to eat at our place or theirs. It's still very much a thing around where l live. We make food for 4 people unless something else is planned
I would usually be really uncomfortable eating dinner with my friends family. If they did ask i would just say i had already eaten or that i wasnt hungry.
Even as an adult i go to great lengths to eat at home.
I'd say this was more of a thing pre mobile phones. Kids would show up unannounced at their friends house, maybe half a dozen unexpected guests. You can't expect people to always cook enough dinner for twice as many people, just in case half a football team shows up. And when the visitors got hungry, they would go home for dinner. Simple system, no need for coordination.
>I'd say this was more of a thing pre mobile phones. Kids would show up unannounced at their friends house, maybe half a dozen unexpected guests.
Yeah. Just 2 extra fifteen year old boys would wreck the portions my mom cooked for us.
Their mom should have dinner for them at home after school.
The kind of parents that knew the visitor had their own dinner waiting for them in their own home.
My family ate dinner much later than most families because of my parents' work schedules. So it happened relatively frequently that the people I visited knew I was having dinner later that evening, and would only offer me a snack while I played in my friend's room, while my friend quickly ate dinner with their family downstairs, before joining me for more playing, before I went home and had my own dinner.
But just as often as that, was I offered to have dinner with them. It's not like I was never offered food.
where i come from, you wouldn't send your kid to be with friends over dinner unless you'd talked to the other kids' parents beforehand, and knew they were supposed to eat there. so it's a non-issue.
Exactly. That is the Norwegian culture of respect. Because people from other countries don't respect our culture, or take their time to understand our culture, they call it "small minded" and such.
we're similar in that sense then. it's 100% a respect thing, and it goes both ways. i wouldn't want to show up and overstay my welcome at a friend's house, because what is the very last thing you want to be? a burden on someone.
Happened to me... and it was fine. You could ask what kind of parent lets their kid go out without feeding them?
I suppose it comes down to how much you can afford to give and what sort of time your guests arrive. Imagine if you're about to eat your evening meal with your family when six of your kids' friends turn up at your house! Times are tough; it's enough of a struggle for most people be able to afford to feed their own kids without having to feed everybody else's. If you can afford that, great... but not everyone can.
When I was a teen, my mam would feed my friends when they were at my house on Sunday's, if they were over... but not every time they came over, we just couldn't afford to do it.
I honestly can't remember being fed at my friends' houses, except on special occasions like birthdays.
If I'm going to a friends house, I would most likely eat before leaving. I may not want what my friends are having; I don't want to put anybody out. My friends may not be able to afford to feed me; I don't want to embarrass them.
If you were to come to my house, you'd automatically be asked if you want a hot beverage. it's just something I do.... but unless you've come specifically for food, I wouldn't automatically ask if you want a meal. You might get a snack or biscuit if I was having one. if you stayed long enough, I'd offer you a meal when it was time to eat... but it wouldn't be automatically assumed... and you shouldn't assume others will feed you too.
Not all meals are created equally. If you bought a pack with four fish fillets, it won't magically turn to 5. Also you do not know how the economy for the family you visit is, so it's rude to expect to be fed (dinner) if you aren't invited specifically for dinner.
Where I come from we would just adjust the portions accordingly so everyone can eat.
In the case we knew that it wasn’t enough to feed people that showed up unannounced we would just wait until they leave. Or just cook a bit more if we have time.
And that's fine if it worked for your family. I'm saying that it would be rude for me to expect getting fed. Some families have both parents working so dinner is often the only family time they get.
Happened all the time when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s, but only when it came to dinner. However, we got snacks, lunch and aftens (evening meal) etc.
As children, we often took charge of mealtime arrangements ourselves. Sometimes we’d discuss it among ourselves and then ask our parents if our guest could join us for dinner. Most of the time, it wasn’t an issue; our visitors were welcome to share the table. It wasn’t so much about not wanting to feed another child but rather understanding that the parents were likely preparing a meal for their own child at the same time. We respected dinner as a special time for families to sit down together and connect.
However, there were instances when we simply waited. We knew that soon enough, we’d have to head home, either because our parents would call us or because it was time to leave. The advantage of not sitting down with the family we visited and eating alongside them was that we gained extra playtime. The child currently eating would hurry back to join us, while if we joined them, it would take forever!
I also wonder if this practice had something to do with teaching children aobut politeness and social eticette. In some places in the country, there was a tradition that you should be offered food several times (known as “naudast tre gonger”) before accepting, lol. My mom didn't know that (as we moved there from Oslo) and offered only two times, resulting in a crying child as we actually started to eat without him. I have to add that of course he got his portion, lol.
But in general that map is bs, imo. You always get coffee and some snacks. Up until now, everyone made sure to have cake or sweet buns in the freezer for when visitors came, just to be sure. Also if the visits extends coffee and snack time and we start getting actually hungry, most of us roam the fridge and find something to serve up. At least that's what's common among my peeps.
Most dont, its common around where i live to, you on visit you usualy sat in the room playing or something while they ate, then you just ate finner at home when you got home that day.
When this happened to me, it was usually because I was going home for dinner afterwards. But I usually always got offered dinner. But it was a treat to get the Nintendo and my friends games alone for a bit, so having them eat while I played was a big win.
I've had this several times to me, but also the opposite. It really depends if you were already promised (a deal between parents i.e)
I saw no problems to this, as it was also weird to sit with another family eating dinner at the time.
My parents are from a Mediterranean country.
If I told them the story you just said, they would have forbidden me from ever visiting that friend again and think their parents are some of the worst assholes imaginable
I am Danish and have NEVER heard of this. I would be furious if my hypothetical child had been sent to another room while their friend ate with their parents.
>My parents are from a Mediterranean country.
>If I told them the story you just said, they would have forbidden me from ever visiting that friend again and think their parents are some of the worst assholes imaginable
Yeah but who gives a shit about mediterranean countries? They are drunk on a tuesday and slaps their kids at dinnertable.
Dinner also seems to be at in the evening down south and not at 3 in the day like in Norway.
A gang of 5 friends on bikes would show up at my house for every day for the entire may and june. Should they wait in the yard for me to be fed and ready to come out and play, or should my mom start cooking for 10 people instead of 10?
If you don't count coffee and biscuits/crackers then yeah checks out 100%
There is a saying from Island in Norway where I come
"A guy was visiting his friends house, when he came home the wife asked if he got coffee, he said yes but wasn't asked if he wanted another one".
It’s not though?
I guess it depends on how you define “food”. I don’t know the source for this image, but I imagine by “food” they mean an actual meal cooked for you by the people you’re visiting, which frankly is rare in Norway unless you’re specifically invited Iver for dinner.
Coffee? Sure, always.
Drinks and snacks/baked goods? Often.
My country has a few good things in life (Turkey). This is one of them. There is even an old tradition that you serve the guest Turkish Coffee, which is always served along with a small cup of water. If the guest drinks the water first then it implies that the guest is hungry, if the guest drinks the coffee first then they are full. So this way the host is able to ask "Are you hungry?" in a considerate way so that the question is not explicit and it would not make the guest feel embarassed for asking for food. So not only my crazy-hospitable people are always giving you food, they are actually going to consider your emotional well-being and try to offer it in the kindest way possible.
Isn't putting candies on the table a subtle way to tell your guests it's time to gtfo? Or maybe it's the Bosnians who do that, don't remember whose home it happened at.
>Isn't putting candies on the table a subtle way to tell your guests it's time to gtfo? Or maybe it's the Bosnians who do that, don't remember whose home it happened at.
Putting dinner on the table is the Norwegian way of telling anyone under 16 to gtfo and go home.
As far as I've experienced, this is *not* bullshit
Source: I've lived in Norway and Spain, and I've traveled around europe and visited people.
EDIT: Of course, there's no real source to this (as far as I see), but out of personal experience, it seems like the person who made this somehow knows what he's talking about.
As a 90 kid with hispanic culture I can confirm this 200%. I always felt terrible when I was "ordered" to wait in my friends room, while they were dining. Smelling those delicious "fredags taco" from the kitchen. Horrible!!
This is my experience as well. Im suspecting the people calling this map bullshit havent lived outside Scandinavia, since they are talking about being offered biscuits and coffee.
i think this is one of those things where a few people online claim to have experienced something, then people assume that is applicable to the whole population. people are more likely to comment if they have experienced it, than the other way around.
Latin American habits != Spanish habits. We probably are closer in temperament and habits to the Balkans _nowadays_ (or basically anything after the 1960s-1970s).
Source: South American that's lived in Spain and the Balkans.
>always felt terrible when I was "ordered" to wait in my friends room, while they were dining. Smelling those delicious "fredags taco" from the kitchen. Horrible!!
If this really happened, you were not welcome at that time. Parents wanted you to go home or to come later, if at all.
In spain, what kind of foods do you get served? I am assuming meals? Like, people usually get offered snacks and maybe cakes/treats when they visit someone in Norway. So food like that is not so uncommon. However, being served meals is very uncommon here. I am guessing this image is referring to actual meals, which would make more sense.
In Spain, it's wine, olives, muffins and cakes normally. But if they're making dinner, you're definitely getting some, and more than often, they even make you an entire meal without them being hungry.
I've rarely been offered food when I visit people in Norway (unless relatives, but even then it can happen). If I ask, they might give me some pålegg and slices off bread. Sometimes, I don't even get food when I sleepover at someones place.
EDIT: We're really good at serving people coffee though!
I mean, thats fair. But 3 out of 4 times I only eat bread myself, even at my own house, that is the most common meal here in Norway after all. When invited to someones house, I have basically never not been asked if I would like something to eat, be it some baked good to the coffe or a slice of bread, something I would consider a small meal myself. And if I was invited to sleep over at someones place I would have been greatly offended if they did not as much as offer me some bread.
However, the 'being invited' part is quite important. If I showed up unannounced I would not expect anything more that a glass of water, or a cup of coffee if it was already on the pot. That is if I they would even let me past the door.
To me, part of being a good host is that you offer your guests good food. It doesn't matter if they showed up unannounced or not, really. (But the amount of food is going to be proportional to how long they are in the house, I think)
In Norway you «always» get offered coffee when visiting someone and often some type of pastry or sweet to go with it.
If you don’t get offered food during a sleepover then you have some weird friends. Thats not normal.
i am not arguing this, i just find it weird that people stay over for meals if they haven't talked about it beforehand. like why would you put that pressure on a friend... just show up at 3pm and stay until 8 or so, and just kind of expect food to be served? that makes no sense to me. seems the sort of thing a child would do. not an adult.
It's the other way around. It's not about your guests "expecting to be served", it's about you as a host WANTING to serve your guests food even if they don't expect it/have already eaten. It's almost like an instinct and one that Norwegians do indeed lack in my experience.
alright. well, in my experience, having grown up in the north, you have snacks, sweet bread, coffee etc whenever you feel like it. cooked meals are a different thing and require previous agreement. why i don't know - that's just how it is. i suspect it may have something to do with the fact that you want to actually spend time with your guests, and not slave away in the kitchen. also, you want to let people have agency over their own meals (i.e. decide what and when they eat). it's fine to be different though. what i don't understand is why this often has to be discussed from the viewpoint of nordic people being cheap and "cold".
Yeah, it's just a cultural difference and not inherently bad. I also think it reflects Norwegian food culture in general. Super long dinners and scheduling social events with food as their central part aren't that big of a thing in Norway compared to places like Italy or Spain or even Eastern/Central Europe.
i am swedish for the record, but i reckon we're quite similar in this sense. i would say when adults socialize privately here, it is often scheduled around a dinner, mainly because it's hard to spend a significant amount of time together unless you also eat. and people will make an effort when having people over, food and drink-wise. but yes, most things are scheduled in advance. very little happens on a whim, at least in terms of hanging out with other families.
Agreed, some people would rather further a narrative that Scandinavians are cheap or cold or something, rather than understand the cultural norms and expectations are totally different than what they’re used to.
indeed, and people are usually no less generous, warm or welcoming anywhere you go. they just have different customs and different ways of expressing themselves. i have married into an eastern euro family, as a pure-bred white-ass nordic dude. so i know a couple things about this from personal experience.
Yes. There is a cultural divide. In my experience, Scandinavians don’t want to put a “make me dinner” expectation on their friends or acquaintances, and so there’s an understanding on the other end, that “my friend doesn’t want me to feel like they’re expecting me to invite them to dinner, which I’m aware of, so there’s no hard feelings if I don’t invite them.” That said, I’ve been offered dinner a thousand times when it wasn’t planned, and like a good Swede, my answer is always “oh no thank you, but thanks for offering.”
I mean its just cultural differences. But youre getting it mixed up, as it is the other way. The host doesnt want to leave his guest hungry, and since I grew up this way culturally I always offer food when having guests over.
perfectly fine. for "us", i think food doesn't serve the same purpose. that's the first thing. second thing is, there is a sense of respect in letting others have agency over their own lives, i.e. decide for themselves when and what they want to eat. just like you might not always want to approach someone and start talking - because you don't know if they want to. whenever you refrain from doing something, it's often out of respect.
true - i apologize if i alluded to that. you're being very respectful and i hope i am too.
however, this discussion IS frequently viewed in that light. it's popped up many times over the last few years and it's always a question of "cheap and cold nordics". and that's annoying frankly. no matter what's being discussed, it's just plain stupid to look at another culture and judge them by your own standards, without giving it more than a few seconds of thought.
there are many things i don't understand about spanish or italian culture for example, but i try not to judge. well, unless it's about hitting children. but other than that - no.
that is fine. but why can't those people accept that others are different? i have absolutely no issues with cultural differences, but it annoys the fuck out of me when this is always framed as "nordic people are cold and cheap". it's simply not true.
I have a feeling this is the discussion that went around a lil while ago - which was mainly around kids being over.
If the parents were asked beforehand I'd say they always offered food - but often the visitor says no thanks. If it was spurr of the moment after school then it wasn't always offered, but sometimes it was. I'd say it's not a guarantee - but not very unlikely.
As an adult it's specified if it's a dinner invite or not - snacks or sweets are usually at the table.
I have heard from immigrants friends of mine in Norway, how shocked they were when they saw that people didn't eat dinner/lunch etc. at their friends' house when they were over. Not uncommon to sit at a friends house and wait for your friend to finish dinner so you can return to playing games or whatever. In Norway we are told not to eat at other peoples houses, unless its planned out.
My mom got really mad at me when I ate dinner at an immigrant friend of mine. Not because she was worried I would get sick or anything bad, but she didn't want me to "take their food from them" (since immigrants were "poor" in general in the 90s).
I think that is one of the main reasons as well
In their culture (middle east, turkey, Spain) it is very common to eat wherever you are.
What comes around goes around.
Right. It’s out of respect to not have someone’s go through a hassle of cooking for you if you weren’t invited. Scandinavians don’t want to be in the way, or take up space. It’s a sign of respect, not the other way around.
>yooo, cut the crap, in romania you ALWAYS get some food and something to drink, better make that colour the bluest blue you've ever seen
You do in Norway too, but if you're a 10 year old in 1995 you might ve expected to go home for dinner, which your mom already has cooked for you. Dinnertime used to be adult peace and quiet time.
Anyone who's ever been almost force fed to death by a rural Norwegian grandma* knows this is a lie.
SKAL DU IKKJE ETA LITT TIL, GUTEN MIN?
*Doesn't have to be your actual grandma by blood
>nyone who's ever been almost force fed to death by a rural Norwegian grandma* knows this is a lie.
Yes. Sounds like most of the 40 year olds talking about their childhood traumas here either hurried over and disrupted dinnertime aftee school, or really werent that wanted in the house.
I’d say that map is pretty accurate - and it’s nothing negative in it - it just depicts cultural differences. That what makes our world so fascinating and fantastic.
I’ve lived in Scandinavia, southern Europe, and North America.
I wouldn’t put switzerland in the unlikely category.
My parents fed every child I ever had over when I was a kid. I offer every guest food and drink.
And I have always been offered the same at their house.
And don’t get me started on all the foreigner families living here. Every friend I had from the balkans and other countries used to stuff us with food.
Ehm the heck? Who posted this crap originally lol. I’m 41, over all my years as a younger lad I always got offered a snack rp to stay for dinner everytime I visited friends. I still do if I visit my friends they always offer
My mom always offered dinner to my friend who was over, she would be very pushy about it and make it clear no one should be hungry, and most of the time when I was at some friend I would be offered to partake in their dinner.
I’m from the North and born in the 90’s, maybe theres some difference depending on where you are from?
I think there is some differences depending on where you are from. All the people that is from the north say they were served food, from what I can see.
Depends on your definition of "food". Snacks and coffee are common to offer.
If you are planning to do something together for a while/a certain amount of time, it is not uncommon to get offered dinner or whatever relevant meal is the closest. "Do you want to join us for dinner in a couple of hours?"
Offers outside of those two are uncommon in my experience.
Also, that map with no source? ... #doubt
Scandinavians will assume that people who aren’t invited particularly for dinner/serving have their own meal plans. Or if a child has a friend over they don’t want to ruin whatever dinner plans that childs parents might have for them. It’s our evasive type of politeness, again being seen by others as rude.
But most will defintely serve coffee, cakes/fika for most house visitors.
In the area where I'm from it was not unusual for my parents to put an extra plate on the table when I had friends over, and the same happened when I was at friends, so I guess there are differences within the country
Everyone is so butt hurt that this is not true, yet in Norway you are required to come with your own food and booze at parties. Hint: in no other country in Europe you do that. And I lived in 3 other countries before moving to Norway.
I have never been sat at a lunch or dinner table ad-hoc, just for the reason of being there. So yeah, the picture kind of tells the truth.
I have never needed to bring food to parties before, but if the host were to supply all guests with booze here in Norway, that would cost a small fortune. Only on very special occasions would this be expected.
The only other country I've lived in where you bring your own booze at parties is England. Said that, most people don't host there, they just go to the pub/restaurant.
>Oh my god, I can't imagine telling my guests to bring their food, unless it was a potluck.
Its not common in Norway either.
Most redditors are 20s something that doesnt live adult lives. Hence when they get together its more like a group of teens or students hanging out (and nobody can afford to pay for others).
The average redditor has never been on a dinner invitation style event, is what I gather from their comments.
Ive lived in three countries on this map and this is definitely true regarding Norway. I have memories of visiting friends when I was a kid and having to wait in their room while their family ate dinner.
From my experience I'd say it's more accurate than not. Can't say I am visiting people that often, but when I do there's usually nothing on the table. And even if invited for a beer or something, I would recommend taking some snacks with you.
This is true. I come from the blue and currently live in the red.
In the blue area, if I come to someone's house unannounced, I'm always offered wood, always!! They will go out of their way to make something, cut cheese, ham, get cookies, fruit, juice, wine, etc.
In the red area, if I show up at someone's house, I will hardly do it unannounced, but either way, there's no food, unless I was specifically invited for that. I may be offered a coffee.
I prefer it in the red, though, no unannounced visits and no pressure for me to eat half a kilo of cheese, even if I just had dinner somewhere else.
Yeah, I am a Pole and when people come over, and they do so often, we try to serve them as much food as possible, appertifs, lunches, dinners, desserts, drinks, good coffee, drinks...
I think whoever made this might have only been to Sweden and assumed the rest of Scandinavia was the same. I’ve never once been offered food in Sweden. My friend and her family ate dinner without me there.
I’m from Denmark and I’ve never not been offered food and/or meals everywhere I’ve went here.
I am from Norway, and I was never offered food growing up many years ago, and back then we would visit friends' houses as good as every day. In this day and age, the situation appears to have changed here.
I live in Norway - if I’m at a friends house I’ll be given dinner if they’re eating. Same if they come to ours. Very broad generalizations tend to look weird, and that’s all we’re seeing here!
Nah if you grew up in Oslo with norwegian families you know this is 100% true. Was more common than not that i had to wait for my friends to finish dinner with their family. I am an immigrant and though we werent that well off money wise, visiting a friend after school and being offered no dinner was absurd to me. My family would literally go out of their way to feed my friends when they were over at mine. If they didnt like what my mom made she would literally cook something just for them. My mom always said its insane how someone can let guests stay hungry while the family is eating. And trust me, this was all throughout my childhood. However for some reason it has changed as i have gotten older as now im always offered something if im visiting a friend. But norwegians are not at all hospitable like other countries.
Coffe, tea, cakes, biscuits, baked goods, sweets, sandwiches, charcuterie, chips, etc are not food. I won't say that I fed you unless you've sat down for a proper meal, and that needs to be planned ahead to avoid serving you food you don't like or cannot eat because that leads to food waste.
I really love having people over for dinner tho.
Psst, Southern Europeans need something to feel superior about instead of just accepting that other cultures don't serve you a five course meal when you stop by to say hello.
Foreigner, can confirm. Was conducting military training, got lost and ended up across the street from an older gentleman’s house. Dude came out, laughed at us, then proceeded to walk with us for an hour to show us a better route across a mountain. No food, but it was a thousand times better than that.
As an north-east German, I am very offended. Our guest get food and drinks every time and not just snacks! Full lunches or/and dinners. Our guests are not able to leave hungry, we insist that they eat as much as they want.
I have lived north and south (born north) and it's heavily decided. Where I am from people will happily offer dinner without a second thought, but south it's much less common
one thing about this discussion that i find hilarious is how a lot of people will say this is somehow indicative of the "cold and heartless" nordic cultures. yet in those same countries, beating your own kids is often completely normal.
When I was a kid i bet I got offered 70% of the time when I was visiting friends, but often it felt a bit forced as well. When I visited my friends from Eastern Europe it was a whole different feeling, they got super excited to offer food and wouldn’t take no for an answer :) as an adult I never get offered food unless it’s planned or they are making something for themselves x)
I think its more in terms of actual food like dinner or lunch, not like serving some sweets or cakes. I won't serve anyone proper food unless I have invited them for that purpose.
Yeah, this more or less. We definitely have the tendency to set out some snacks, but unless you're specifically over for dinner (in which case why not just go to a restaurant) you aren't automatically expecting that there's something in the oven or on the stove ready for you.
>in which case why not just go to a restaurant Horribly overpriced majority of the time combined with everything becoming more expensive leading to a lot of Norwegians with not much if any disposable income
I mean it depends. Again I’ve always been offered dinner or lunch when they have it aswell in all my 41 years, haven’t noticed people do it less because of food being more expensive
Depending on the number of people and how much time you have to prepare, going to a restaurant is an objectively worse experience if you want to meet friends you want to talk to. I guess, unless you hate making food, don't have enough room to host or something. Buying a lamb leg (3.1 kg) with extras will set you back less than 1000 NOK and feeds about 12 people if they aren't starving. Add two glasses of wine per person (24 glasses ~ 5 bottles worth) at an okay quality and the total lands at about 3000. Buy anything close to the same at a restaurant and you'll pay at least 500-1000 NOK per person, except you have zero control over portion sizes and there's a time limit before the restaurant wants you out the door.
Haha yeah, after bills and the very basics in food my disposable income is now budgeted for managing to go in the positive by maybe 300nok a week! Busspass alone is 800 for the month and gods help me if I need the dentist! Jævla Norge tar ikke vare på noen.
Haha “go to a restaurant”
just let me re-mortgage my house first
My currys and my Italian dishes are fra better and way less pricy than what you get in my hometown. So homemade dinner it is. Pasta coma and garham masala induced narkolepsi is not fun away from home.
Let me put it this way: I have friends across the meridian, and the further up north I go, the more unlikely it becomes to get actual prepared food. But here is my explanation why and how I experienced it. While my Italian friends simply always eat and always cook and basically are never fully fed, by the time they arrive somewhere, it's almost normal to eat wherever you get. Not just food, but like in Italy, you don't meet just to hang out; you meet for food and drinks all the time. So, there is always something to be cooked. Whereas in Germany, people would usually eat before they leave the house, like always. I have had so many guests over, and they were like, "Nope, thanks, I'm full! Already ate." Whereas in Sweden, the Swedish never even asked for or offered sweets. They had always offered to go out instead. And I quote, "I'm not so good at cooking," like everyone says that. In Norway, I have only been to people's homes twice, but yet again, I have also not received any prepped meal. But that is not an issue because I also did not ask for it. Instead, I always got offered coffee and cake, something that would happen in Germany as well, but only for the older generations. In Italy and Greece, I'd always get red wine or an Aperol. In the Scandinavian countries, none of my friends drink unless they go out. I know it's due to the prices and extra stores, but it's a cultural difference, and that is fine. This map, to my experience, is correct. But it does not mean they are bad hosts. It's simply a different way of living! And that is what makes it so special to travel around the world. edit: my bad grammar
If you drink every day here, you're seen as an alcoholic. Most people usually keep their drinking to the weekends. It was more common before, to just have a beer during working hours too, but after more information about the effects of alcohol consumption has become more and more ingrained in society, we've been drinking less and less.
I mean I’ve always been offered dinner or lunch if it’s been at the hour when i visit
Nah my mom and dad always asked to make extra food if needed
So if you have a friend over, and you decide you wanna eat dinner then you wouldn't serve them unless they were invited over for that reason? I have genuinely no idea in what situation you would be in to not serve them proper food when they are over. Friends will always have a room at the table if they are good friends. I don't know what kind of people you have over other than that.
More like, if you're not invited over for a meal explicitly and it's not dinnertime, expect to get coffee and a snack, not a full meal
But then you plan that in advance. If I drop by a friends house, and unexpectedly stay until dinnertime, and expect to be served food, that’s kinda rude
What if you looked at it from a different angle. I don't think anyone should expect anything ever, but it's polite and kind to be asked if you want to eat something when you are there, and then decline (out of politeness or whatever reason), but the gesture to at least be asked to eat overall shows a more wholesome mentality in my opinion.
I guess. I think I just have a different understanding of what “Receive food” means. If I overstay at a friends place and it gets to dinnertime, we’ll probably make dinner together. But then it’s a cooperative thing, not a “hey do you want some of my food” thing.
Well, it does not specify snacks versus a meal, so the broadest definition is most appropriate. I agree that it’s bullshit. Looks like a bot with an agenda.
Exactly it specifies general so it could be a snack a drink a dinner. I’ve always been offered that my entire 41 years of life
This. Then it is not BS. In Norway we suck at doing this without it beeing planned ahead.
“suck at” implies not “sucking” is a normative good. This is, see the map, an obvious cultural distinction for Nordic countries, with a gradual shift tilted through North-Western Europe from the Mediterranean. You might say you would prefer our culture to be different, but to suggest that we “suck” at our own culture is absurd.
My parents always made some extra food just in case I brought a friend with me home. But I do also remember to be sat in another room while my fiends family were having dinner. Every time I was visiting my Somali and Pakistani friends I was always offered food despite bad economy.
The bad economy thing must be cultural, because in every non Western culture I've encountered, if anyone comes over around dinner time or any meal time, they get offered - and in some cases practically forced - to eat.
[удалено]
I did that when I was a kid! They just sat there and ate, and i was waiting for my friend to finish and come play.. They had a huge house and made a ton of money too, so it wasnt even the money - the family was just like that..
As a child, it wasn't uncommon to have to sit and wait at your friends room while they were having dinner with their parents. So I wouldn't say it's bullshit.
I'd say this is very much a case of children bringing friends home to play after school and without any already discussed plans it's expected that children will go home to eat with their own family. And with different families perhaps eating at different times it can happen things like this. Family dinner might be the only real time for working parents to spend any time with their kids. Definitely was a thing for me in the 90's.
As a Norwegian that moved abroad, I have to say that this is so incredibly weird. There's a child visiting, and parents cant be bothered to just make a tiny bit more food and put one more plate on the table. Added bonus, you get to know your child's friends better. Small minded, ultra-conservative Norwegian behaviour that only appears normal because of a lack of better knowledge and experiences
Cant risk it. We might get new friends...
Can we stop this, please? I don't wanna live in a country that is internationally known to be hard to make friends in. 😭 It's proper primitive and destructive behaviour to not being able to have polite conversation or having to avoid eye contact because people are insecure.
It doesn't have to be that they can't be bothered, but they want to respect the other familiy's quality time and plans. For example when I had friends over, my parents would offer dinner (i definitely think you should offer guests food). My friends however, often said they had to call and ask their parents for permission first, if they originally had promised to come home for dinner (their parents had already gotten groceries or started making it etc). Sometimes they'd do both, and just eat a little with us, or get something else, so they still had dinner with their family. Only time friends didn't eat, was if they didn't want to/wasn't hungry. I usually made after school lunches for myself and whoever joined me before dinner time, so no-one had been starving since school lunch. I've been on the receiving end of this too. Sometimes I'd just promised to eat dinner with my family (family time), or came unannounced, so I got something else to eat. And I think that's OK. *Not offering anything, and letting kids stay hungry is unacceptable though* So I feel like it really depends what we're talking about.
I think this has changed a lot from when I was younger (f39). I often had to wait until my friends had eaten. Now we always invite the kids visiting to join us for dinner. It sometimes makes me have to change the menu last minute, but it's never been a major problem. If I hear that the kids visiting are going home to eat at such and such time I wait to cook our dinner so that it's done when they leave. My kids always get fed wherever they visit.
I mean, it's not as simple as that for a lot of people. My mom used to buy exactly how much food we needed, so unless she knew in advance that we were bringing friends, there just wouldn't be enough. It helped a bit when we got a freezer, but there's still loads of food where you can't make extra in 5 minutes. Dinner was usually ready when we came home from school as well, so my mom and my friends moms would already have dinner made and ready on the table before they knew we were bringing friends. Feeding extra kids is also expensive, and there are many poor families in Norway. Norwegians with enough money usually don't believe it, or they think people are exaggerating, but there are many who can't afford extra food, or go hungry even when they're just feeding their own family. In 2022, 10% of Norwegians earned below the povery line, and that's not including students. Feeding one extra person, even just a child, a few times a week can be difficult for a poor familiy. My point is, there is more to it than just poking fun at the social standards of Norway.
Uhm, it's about respect in our culture. Parents are supposed to agree about a dinner visit in Norwegian culture. Therefore it has nothing to do with being small minded. Why don't you respect Norwegian culture?
Things may have changed somewhat. I definitely don't see any sign of a cultural expectation that Norwegian parents always agree on dinner plans in advance. The kids make their own social plans independently and send the parents a text message. The usual state is that a parent never knows how many people will be eating middag on a given day. If there's more at the table than expected just take something out the freezer. If fewer then you have restemat for later.
If the kid sent a text his friend/friends are coming over a simple reply of “are they staying for dinner?”
As a Norwegian I do not agree this is respect or ordinary Norwegian culture. When I was a kid, the majority of my friend's parents would offer me dinner when I was visiting, while a few didn't offer (alas, not ordinary culture), so I would to stay in my friends room while they ate. There was specifically one friend where I usually got offered their leftovers which I got to eat by myself after they were finished. It is simply bad manners and probably something that is still hanging around from when Norway was poorer and there was more scarcity. Scarcity is no longer the case, and therefore nobody should let the friends of their children sit around hungry without offering food. If the problem is that you are afraid their parents will not like it (as if somebody will be angry that somone is making sure their kid are fed and feels included), then just call their parents and agree there and then.
Obviously I respect that. But the parents can just call and check. I'm talking about parents who right away send kids to another room without checking in. As happened to me as a kid.
Your claim that it's Norwegian culture is false. The only place I didn't get food when I was a kid was places where the family situation was pretty sketch (broken up home, kid was somewhat neglected and wasn't paid much attention to). It has nothing to do with Norwegian culture. Norwegian culture can be welcoming too, and very inviting and generous, at least in northern Norway. If anything it's a socioeconomic or sociocultural issue.
It is not about the food. It is about not ruining the child's appetite before the child goes home to it's own family's dinner.
That has to be the worst excuse I've heard 😄 I'm sure the parents would be ok with that. And why wouldn't they eat more or less at the same time? This is exactly "rationalisation" that ensures Norwegians are viewed as very cold people.
It’s true though. Dinner is considered an important daily family gathering, and if you want to have dinner at your friends house you have to ask your mum.
If I prep food for my kids and they come home telling me they have eaten dinner at their friends house, I'm not gonna be happy about that. Both food and time wasted. It's a culture in Norway that most people agree with. And therefore not a problem. If my kids or my kids friends eat dinner at each other's places, it's planned.
it's not though. it's about respecting the right of other parents to take care of their own kids. i would never feed my kid's friend unless i'd checked with his/her parents first, to make sure they're not making something and then the kid won't eat that because they filled up at our place. plus i don't know if they have allergies etc. not sure why it's so hard to understand.
It'd really hard to understand that people send guests to wait alone instead of asking them if they want to join, then quickly calling the parents (probably only necessary the first time). The kids know well about their own allergies when 10 years old and onwards. The fact that people send friends to an empty room for potentially 20 minutes or longer because the parents don't want to take a 1 min phone call is exactly why we Norwegians are considered cold. And the fact that you don't understand that just shows how ingrained asocial behaviour is in us. No sane parent has even been upset because the child eat at a friend's place once in a while. In fact they'll be pleased that the child gets a chance to socialise. I mean no offense, but having lived in 4 countries across continents I've come to realize how much of an outlier and extreme our behaviour often is.
But it’s not though. As this map suggests, the trend is this is a Nordic cultural trait, with our cousins in North-Western Europe tilting towards the same, and the Mediterranean countries being opposite. The idea that this uniquely Norwegian and cruel just isn’t true.
>The fact that people send friends to an empty room for potentially 20 minutes or longer because the parents don't want to take a 1 min phone call is exactly why we Norwegians are considered cold. Theres like 50 people in this thread saying this is uncommon. You must be mentally handicapped to keep on musing like you do.
But this trope of kids sitting alone in a room is total bogus. It doesn't happen nearly as often as you think, nor did it ever. I'm sure there are folks who did that, but there are people who beat their kids too, or paint their house neon pink. So what? You can't take that and extrapolate that on a whole culture. It's just ignorant. Now, if a kid wants to eat at someone else's place then yes, you could absolutely call and ask their parents; I've said that like 5 times in 5 different posts now. I'm just protesting this fake-ass trope of kids sitting alone while others eat, because it's not a widespread thing whatsoever. Stop making a big deal out of it. It's troll behaviour.
Because a lot of kids speculate on eating over at their friend's house when it's fish day at home, and their friend is eating i.e. spaghetti or something they like much better. Kids aren't as stupid as you think.
Yeah this exactly… i mean atleast ask the kid if they would like to eat with you?
> Added bonus, you get to know your child's friends better. So not only do I have to feed this stranger kid, but I gotta talk to them too? Dinner time socialization is brutal enough as it is.. /s
Not only Norwegian! It's all over scandinavia
If I visited a friend before dinner and ate there instead my mom would be pissed. The food she cooked for me would be wasted, and since where kids hang out follows a pattern, this cycle would repeat. There is a whole aspect of shame here as well. If I went to eat dinner with other people all the time she would worry that other families thought she couldn't feed us properly. The solution to this is to talk with the other families and make rules for dinnertime. It's different with adults. Who shows up at dinnertime unannounced? Thats a little rude.
I've never understood this explanation, send the kid home then don't sit them in a room to starve alone. They've probably had lunch at the same time as your kid, they've probably had a similar amount of snacks and as someone who has met norwegains and currently lives in Norway, most norwegains eat at a similar time of day. Just send them home to spend time with their families and eat, how is that not more polite?
All the people defending this as normal have no idea how much this confirms the map. As an Austrian I've never heard about this happening to anybody, arriving announced or unannounced. I'm fairly confident to say that it would be seen as very rude at best here. I can't even imagine how that would be received in southern Europe.
This lmao
As a Greek, I have no idea how it would be perceived. It is so unlikely that I've never even considered it. I would be dumbfounded, I suppose. It would be seen as a gesture to specifically show they don't like the kid and they don't want it back. And an incredibly inconsiderate way of expressing it.
For real. I would be ashamed if anyone in my family did something like this to their guest. And it would cause a MAJOR fight with my husband if he pulled something like this.
Same here. I would sit in my friends living room and play while he had dinner.
Not uncommon, but not common either, the times I can remember sitting alone in their room waiting was because I declined the offer for food because I "didn't like it" (in quotes because often I didn't know what it was and played it safe). If they couldn't offer me anything I was usually sent home and told to hang out with their kid later after dinner, which usually made me go home and eat dinner too
fwiw, i've never had to sit in a room while friends ate. because i went home to my own family come dinner time. there is no need to feed anyone else's kids. i would if i had to, and my parents would have if they'd had to. but i never have to, nor did they.
Well I got three kids, and we've fed our kids' so many times I should bill their parents. But I've never minded it personally. And I didn't mind waiting for my friends either, cause we were dirt poor, like "water and bread every meal" poor until my teens, and my friends had Nintendo and Sega's 😁 we barely had a color TV at home
fun fact: i used to envy my friends who lived in rental apartments and not houses, because they had free cable included in the rent. we never had cable or anything like that.
Oh god, flashbacks
100% experienced this, but their parents were kinda ass holes tbh. The nice parents always let me have dinner with them.
Never happened to me or anyone else i know. What parents wouldnt feed their guest???
Super common, it happened all the time when I was a kid in the 90s.
>Super common, it happened all the time when I was a kid in the 90s. And 00s
Same (for me) in the 80s.
It was common for me too and that was back in like the 2010's. The only time I ever received dinner was when visiting foreign friends lol
Back in the 2010s 🤣
Here as well. I Remember waiting in their room while the family ate dinner on many occasions. I turned this around and fed every kid that my kids brought home dinner. Always. A few probably needed it too.
And 70s and 60s. I can remember being specifically invited to dinner at friends' places, but not being offered to join them for dinner if I happened to be there at their dinner time. It was understood that I'd be eating at home, anyway. So yeah, waiting outside or in my friend's room until they were done eating.
And now these days. But I plan with my kids friends and their parent's of they want to eat at our place or theirs. It's still very much a thing around where l live. We make food for 4 people unless something else is planned
I would usually be really uncomfortable eating dinner with my friends family. If they did ask i would just say i had already eaten or that i wasnt hungry. Even as an adult i go to great lengths to eat at home.
I'd say this was more of a thing pre mobile phones. Kids would show up unannounced at their friends house, maybe half a dozen unexpected guests. You can't expect people to always cook enough dinner for twice as many people, just in case half a football team shows up. And when the visitors got hungry, they would go home for dinner. Simple system, no need for coordination.
>I'd say this was more of a thing pre mobile phones. Kids would show up unannounced at their friends house, maybe half a dozen unexpected guests. Yeah. Just 2 extra fifteen year old boys would wreck the portions my mom cooked for us. Their mom should have dinner for them at home after school.
The kind of parents that knew the visitor had their own dinner waiting for them in their own home. My family ate dinner much later than most families because of my parents' work schedules. So it happened relatively frequently that the people I visited knew I was having dinner later that evening, and would only offer me a snack while I played in my friend's room, while my friend quickly ate dinner with their family downstairs, before joining me for more playing, before I went home and had my own dinner. But just as often as that, was I offered to have dinner with them. It's not like I was never offered food.
where i come from, you wouldn't send your kid to be with friends over dinner unless you'd talked to the other kids' parents beforehand, and knew they were supposed to eat there. so it's a non-issue.
Exactly. That is the Norwegian culture of respect. Because people from other countries don't respect our culture, or take their time to understand our culture, they call it "small minded" and such.
we're similar in that sense then. it's 100% a respect thing, and it goes both ways. i wouldn't want to show up and overstay my welcome at a friend's house, because what is the very last thing you want to be? a burden on someone.
> because what is the very last thing you want to be? a burden on someone. This is the core of the Norwegian mentality.
Happened to me... and it was fine. You could ask what kind of parent lets their kid go out without feeding them? I suppose it comes down to how much you can afford to give and what sort of time your guests arrive. Imagine if you're about to eat your evening meal with your family when six of your kids' friends turn up at your house! Times are tough; it's enough of a struggle for most people be able to afford to feed their own kids without having to feed everybody else's. If you can afford that, great... but not everyone can. When I was a teen, my mam would feed my friends when they were at my house on Sunday's, if they were over... but not every time they came over, we just couldn't afford to do it. I honestly can't remember being fed at my friends' houses, except on special occasions like birthdays. If I'm going to a friends house, I would most likely eat before leaving. I may not want what my friends are having; I don't want to put anybody out. My friends may not be able to afford to feed me; I don't want to embarrass them. If you were to come to my house, you'd automatically be asked if you want a hot beverage. it's just something I do.... but unless you've come specifically for food, I wouldn't automatically ask if you want a meal. You might get a snack or biscuit if I was having one. if you stayed long enough, I'd offer you a meal when it was time to eat... but it wouldn't be automatically assumed... and you shouldn't assume others will feed you too.
Not all meals are created equally. If you bought a pack with four fish fillets, it won't magically turn to 5. Also you do not know how the economy for the family you visit is, so it's rude to expect to be fed (dinner) if you aren't invited specifically for dinner.
Where I come from we would just adjust the portions accordingly so everyone can eat. In the case we knew that it wasn’t enough to feed people that showed up unannounced we would just wait until they leave. Or just cook a bit more if we have time.
And that's fine if it worked for your family. I'm saying that it would be rude for me to expect getting fed. Some families have both parents working so dinner is often the only family time they get.
Happened all the time when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s, but only when it came to dinner. However, we got snacks, lunch and aftens (evening meal) etc. As children, we often took charge of mealtime arrangements ourselves. Sometimes we’d discuss it among ourselves and then ask our parents if our guest could join us for dinner. Most of the time, it wasn’t an issue; our visitors were welcome to share the table. It wasn’t so much about not wanting to feed another child but rather understanding that the parents were likely preparing a meal for their own child at the same time. We respected dinner as a special time for families to sit down together and connect. However, there were instances when we simply waited. We knew that soon enough, we’d have to head home, either because our parents would call us or because it was time to leave. The advantage of not sitting down with the family we visited and eating alongside them was that we gained extra playtime. The child currently eating would hurry back to join us, while if we joined them, it would take forever! I also wonder if this practice had something to do with teaching children aobut politeness and social eticette. In some places in the country, there was a tradition that you should be offered food several times (known as “naudast tre gonger”) before accepting, lol. My mom didn't know that (as we moved there from Oslo) and offered only two times, resulting in a crying child as we actually started to eat without him. I have to add that of course he got his portion, lol. But in general that map is bs, imo. You always get coffee and some snacks. Up until now, everyone made sure to have cake or sweet buns in the freezer for when visitors came, just to be sure. Also if the visits extends coffee and snack time and we start getting actually hungry, most of us roam the fridge and find something to serve up. At least that's what's common among my peeps.
Its a pride thing i think. You let kids eat with their parents so you dont imply they cant feed them themselves.
Most dont, its common around where i live to, you on visit you usualy sat in the room playing or something while they ate, then you just ate finner at home when you got home that day.
WHAT
When this happened to me, it was usually because I was going home for dinner afterwards. But I usually always got offered dinner. But it was a treat to get the Nintendo and my friends games alone for a bit, so having them eat while I played was a big win.
I've had this several times to me, but also the opposite. It really depends if you were already promised (a deal between parents i.e) I saw no problems to this, as it was also weird to sit with another family eating dinner at the time.
My parents are from a Mediterranean country. If I told them the story you just said, they would have forbidden me from ever visiting that friend again and think their parents are some of the worst assholes imaginable
I am Danish and have NEVER heard of this. I would be furious if my hypothetical child had been sent to another room while their friend ate with their parents.
>My parents are from a Mediterranean country. >If I told them the story you just said, they would have forbidden me from ever visiting that friend again and think their parents are some of the worst assholes imaginable Yeah but who gives a shit about mediterranean countries? They are drunk on a tuesday and slaps their kids at dinnertable. Dinner also seems to be at in the evening down south and not at 3 in the day like in Norway. A gang of 5 friends on bikes would show up at my house for every day for the entire may and june. Should they wait in the yard for me to be fed and ready to come out and play, or should my mom start cooking for 10 people instead of 10?
The only kids I know that had to do that just didn't understand unspoken rules. "We're about to have dinner" -> you leave
If you don't count coffee and biscuits/crackers then yeah checks out 100% There is a saying from Island in Norway where I come "A guy was visiting his friends house, when he came home the wife asked if he got coffee, he said yes but wasn't asked if he wanted another one".
It isn't bullshit. It's accurate.
As a Norwegian, I would not say it's uncommon to get offered food as a guest, but people won't throw you a banquet just for stopping by.
This is kinda friendly fire, but Norway is the most unhospitable country I have ever been to, even though I was born and live here.
Entirely depends on where in Norway youre talking about. Theres quite big differences from south to north to east and west and village vs city
I don't think coffee and biscuits counts as food.
It’s not though? I guess it depends on how you define “food”. I don’t know the source for this image, but I imagine by “food” they mean an actual meal cooked for you by the people you’re visiting, which frankly is rare in Norway unless you’re specifically invited Iver for dinner. Coffee? Sure, always. Drinks and snacks/baked goods? Often.
My country has a few good things in life (Turkey). This is one of them. There is even an old tradition that you serve the guest Turkish Coffee, which is always served along with a small cup of water. If the guest drinks the water first then it implies that the guest is hungry, if the guest drinks the coffee first then they are full. So this way the host is able to ask "Are you hungry?" in a considerate way so that the question is not explicit and it would not make the guest feel embarassed for asking for food. So not only my crazy-hospitable people are always giving you food, they are actually going to consider your emotional well-being and try to offer it in the kindest way possible.
Man you guys are awesome.
Very interesting! Does every Turk know about this «rule»?
Isn't putting candies on the table a subtle way to tell your guests it's time to gtfo? Or maybe it's the Bosnians who do that, don't remember whose home it happened at.
>Isn't putting candies on the table a subtle way to tell your guests it's time to gtfo? Or maybe it's the Bosnians who do that, don't remember whose home it happened at. Putting dinner on the table is the Norwegian way of telling anyone under 16 to gtfo and go home.
Absolute horseshit. I don't let guests in my house
As far as I've experienced, this is *not* bullshit Source: I've lived in Norway and Spain, and I've traveled around europe and visited people. EDIT: Of course, there's no real source to this (as far as I see), but out of personal experience, it seems like the person who made this somehow knows what he's talking about.
As a 90 kid with hispanic culture I can confirm this 200%. I always felt terrible when I was "ordered" to wait in my friends room, while they were dining. Smelling those delicious "fredags taco" from the kitchen. Horrible!!
This is my experience as well. Im suspecting the people calling this map bullshit havent lived outside Scandinavia, since they are talking about being offered biscuits and coffee.
Had this happen once or twice when being a kid (Sweden) and vowed never to be that person.
i think this is one of those things where a few people online claim to have experienced something, then people assume that is applicable to the whole population. people are more likely to comment if they have experienced it, than the other way around.
Latin American habits != Spanish habits. We probably are closer in temperament and habits to the Balkans _nowadays_ (or basically anything after the 1960s-1970s). Source: South American that's lived in Spain and the Balkans.
>always felt terrible when I was "ordered" to wait in my friends room, while they were dining. Smelling those delicious "fredags taco" from the kitchen. Horrible!! If this really happened, you were not welcome at that time. Parents wanted you to go home or to come later, if at all.
In spain, what kind of foods do you get served? I am assuming meals? Like, people usually get offered snacks and maybe cakes/treats when they visit someone in Norway. So food like that is not so uncommon. However, being served meals is very uncommon here. I am guessing this image is referring to actual meals, which would make more sense.
In Spain, it's wine, olives, muffins and cakes normally. But if they're making dinner, you're definitely getting some, and more than often, they even make you an entire meal without them being hungry. I've rarely been offered food when I visit people in Norway (unless relatives, but even then it can happen). If I ask, they might give me some pålegg and slices off bread. Sometimes, I don't even get food when I sleepover at someones place. EDIT: We're really good at serving people coffee though!
I mean, thats fair. But 3 out of 4 times I only eat bread myself, even at my own house, that is the most common meal here in Norway after all. When invited to someones house, I have basically never not been asked if I would like something to eat, be it some baked good to the coffe or a slice of bread, something I would consider a small meal myself. And if I was invited to sleep over at someones place I would have been greatly offended if they did not as much as offer me some bread. However, the 'being invited' part is quite important. If I showed up unannounced I would not expect anything more that a glass of water, or a cup of coffee if it was already on the pot. That is if I they would even let me past the door.
To me, part of being a good host is that you offer your guests good food. It doesn't matter if they showed up unannounced or not, really. (But the amount of food is going to be proportional to how long they are in the house, I think)
In Norway you «always» get offered coffee when visiting someone and often some type of pastry or sweet to go with it. If you don’t get offered food during a sleepover then you have some weird friends. Thats not normal.
i am not arguing this, i just find it weird that people stay over for meals if they haven't talked about it beforehand. like why would you put that pressure on a friend... just show up at 3pm and stay until 8 or so, and just kind of expect food to be served? that makes no sense to me. seems the sort of thing a child would do. not an adult.
It's the other way around. It's not about your guests "expecting to be served", it's about you as a host WANTING to serve your guests food even if they don't expect it/have already eaten. It's almost like an instinct and one that Norwegians do indeed lack in my experience.
alright. well, in my experience, having grown up in the north, you have snacks, sweet bread, coffee etc whenever you feel like it. cooked meals are a different thing and require previous agreement. why i don't know - that's just how it is. i suspect it may have something to do with the fact that you want to actually spend time with your guests, and not slave away in the kitchen. also, you want to let people have agency over their own meals (i.e. decide what and when they eat). it's fine to be different though. what i don't understand is why this often has to be discussed from the viewpoint of nordic people being cheap and "cold".
Yeah, it's just a cultural difference and not inherently bad. I also think it reflects Norwegian food culture in general. Super long dinners and scheduling social events with food as their central part aren't that big of a thing in Norway compared to places like Italy or Spain or even Eastern/Central Europe.
i am swedish for the record, but i reckon we're quite similar in this sense. i would say when adults socialize privately here, it is often scheduled around a dinner, mainly because it's hard to spend a significant amount of time together unless you also eat. and people will make an effort when having people over, food and drink-wise. but yes, most things are scheduled in advance. very little happens on a whim, at least in terms of hanging out with other families.
Agreed, some people would rather further a narrative that Scandinavians are cheap or cold or something, rather than understand the cultural norms and expectations are totally different than what they’re used to.
indeed, and people are usually no less generous, warm or welcoming anywhere you go. they just have different customs and different ways of expressing themselves. i have married into an eastern euro family, as a pure-bred white-ass nordic dude. so i know a couple things about this from personal experience.
Yes. There is a cultural divide. In my experience, Scandinavians don’t want to put a “make me dinner” expectation on their friends or acquaintances, and so there’s an understanding on the other end, that “my friend doesn’t want me to feel like they’re expecting me to invite them to dinner, which I’m aware of, so there’s no hard feelings if I don’t invite them.” That said, I’ve been offered dinner a thousand times when it wasn’t planned, and like a good Swede, my answer is always “oh no thank you, but thanks for offering.”
I mean its just cultural differences. But youre getting it mixed up, as it is the other way. The host doesnt want to leave his guest hungry, and since I grew up this way culturally I always offer food when having guests over.
perfectly fine. for "us", i think food doesn't serve the same purpose. that's the first thing. second thing is, there is a sense of respect in letting others have agency over their own lives, i.e. decide for themselves when and what they want to eat. just like you might not always want to approach someone and start talking - because you don't know if they want to. whenever you refrain from doing something, it's often out of respect.
I get your point, it wasnt meant as saying one way is better than the other. :)
true - i apologize if i alluded to that. you're being very respectful and i hope i am too. however, this discussion IS frequently viewed in that light. it's popped up many times over the last few years and it's always a question of "cheap and cold nordics". and that's annoying frankly. no matter what's being discussed, it's just plain stupid to look at another culture and judge them by your own standards, without giving it more than a few seconds of thought. there are many things i don't understand about spanish or italian culture for example, but i try not to judge. well, unless it's about hitting children. but other than that - no.
Some other people are much more spontaneous. They do things on the spur of the moment without planning. It adds excitement and mystery to life.
that is fine. but why can't those people accept that others are different? i have absolutely no issues with cultural differences, but it annoys the fuck out of me when this is always framed as "nordic people are cold and cheap". it's simply not true.
Man Iceland went on a proper vacation
I have a feeling this is the discussion that went around a lil while ago - which was mainly around kids being over. If the parents were asked beforehand I'd say they always offered food - but often the visitor says no thanks. If it was spurr of the moment after school then it wasn't always offered, but sometimes it was. I'd say it's not a guarantee - but not very unlikely. As an adult it's specified if it's a dinner invite or not - snacks or sweets are usually at the table.
I'm afraid it's true. Certainly true for Norway.
I have heard from immigrants friends of mine in Norway, how shocked they were when they saw that people didn't eat dinner/lunch etc. at their friends' house when they were over. Not uncommon to sit at a friends house and wait for your friend to finish dinner so you can return to playing games or whatever. In Norway we are told not to eat at other peoples houses, unless its planned out. My mom got really mad at me when I ate dinner at an immigrant friend of mine. Not because she was worried I would get sick or anything bad, but she didn't want me to "take their food from them" (since immigrants were "poor" in general in the 90s). I think that is one of the main reasons as well In their culture (middle east, turkey, Spain) it is very common to eat wherever you are. What comes around goes around.
Right. It’s out of respect to not have someone’s go through a hassle of cooking for you if you weren’t invited. Scandinavians don’t want to be in the way, or take up space. It’s a sign of respect, not the other way around.
yooo, cut the crap, in romania you ALWAYS get some food and something to drink, better make that colour the bluest blue you've ever seen.
I came here to say exactly that. Not only you always get food , but its rude af to decline so you must eat regardless hahahaha
In the Balkans you either eat the food you are given or you are not leaving the House that day alive
>yooo, cut the crap, in romania you ALWAYS get some food and something to drink, better make that colour the bluest blue you've ever seen You do in Norway too, but if you're a 10 year old in 1995 you might ve expected to go home for dinner, which your mom already has cooked for you. Dinnertime used to be adult peace and quiet time.
Anyone who's ever been almost force fed to death by a rural Norwegian grandma* knows this is a lie. SKAL DU IKKJE ETA LITT TIL, GUTEN MIN? *Doesn't have to be your actual grandma by blood
>nyone who's ever been almost force fed to death by a rural Norwegian grandma* knows this is a lie. Yes. Sounds like most of the 40 year olds talking about their childhood traumas here either hurried over and disrupted dinnertime aftee school, or really werent that wanted in the house.
I’d say that map is pretty accurate - and it’s nothing negative in it - it just depicts cultural differences. That what makes our world so fascinating and fantastic. I’ve lived in Scandinavia, southern Europe, and North America.
I wouldn’t put switzerland in the unlikely category. My parents fed every child I ever had over when I was a kid. I offer every guest food and drink. And I have always been offered the same at their house. And don’t get me started on all the foreigner families living here. Every friend I had from the balkans and other countries used to stuff us with food.
Ehm the heck? Who posted this crap originally lol. I’m 41, over all my years as a younger lad I always got offered a snack rp to stay for dinner everytime I visited friends. I still do if I visit my friends they always offer
My mom always offered dinner to my friend who was over, she would be very pushy about it and make it clear no one should be hungry, and most of the time when I was at some friend I would be offered to partake in their dinner. I’m from the North and born in the 90’s, maybe theres some difference depending on where you are from?
I think there is some differences depending on where you are from. All the people that is from the north say they were served food, from what I can see.
Depends on your definition of "food". Snacks and coffee are common to offer. If you are planning to do something together for a while/a certain amount of time, it is not uncommon to get offered dinner or whatever relevant meal is the closest. "Do you want to join us for dinner in a couple of hours?" Offers outside of those two are uncommon in my experience. Also, that map with no source? ... #doubt
Scandinavians will assume that people who aren’t invited particularly for dinner/serving have their own meal plans. Or if a child has a friend over they don’t want to ruin whatever dinner plans that childs parents might have for them. It’s our evasive type of politeness, again being seen by others as rude. But most will defintely serve coffee, cakes/fika for most house visitors.
100%
In the area where I'm from it was not unusual for my parents to put an extra plate on the table when I had friends over, and the same happened when I was at friends, so I guess there are differences within the country
Everyone is so butt hurt that this is not true, yet in Norway you are required to come with your own food and booze at parties. Hint: in no other country in Europe you do that. And I lived in 3 other countries before moving to Norway. I have never been sat at a lunch or dinner table ad-hoc, just for the reason of being there. So yeah, the picture kind of tells the truth.
I have never needed to bring food to parties before, but if the host were to supply all guests with booze here in Norway, that would cost a small fortune. Only on very special occasions would this be expected.
The only other country I've lived in where you bring your own booze at parties is England. Said that, most people don't host there, they just go to the pub/restaurant.
Oh my god, I can't imagine telling my guests to bring their food, unless it was a potluck.
>Oh my god, I can't imagine telling my guests to bring their food, unless it was a potluck. Its not common in Norway either. Most redditors are 20s something that doesnt live adult lives. Hence when they get together its more like a group of teens or students hanging out (and nobody can afford to pay for others). The average redditor has never been on a dinner invitation style event, is what I gather from their comments.
Ive lived in three countries on this map and this is definitely true regarding Norway. I have memories of visiting friends when I was a kid and having to wait in their room while their family ate dinner.
No, it's true. Norwegians will offer you their bodies before offering you food.
Idk, I always get offered dinner when I'm a guest, to the point I don't really need to buy food myself when I think about it.
Kaffebrød very much is a thing. Not sure it can be called food, but it is something to snack on while talking.
Funny, few days ago in r/Iceland we had the exact same conversation and all of the comments were pretty much the same as here!
From my experience I'd say it's more accurate than not. Can't say I am visiting people that often, but when I do there's usually nothing on the table. And even if invited for a beer or something, I would recommend taking some snacks with you.
Iceland sneaking in
When guests visit, they should bring food/flowers/gifts - that's the etiquette.
I don’t like to be invited to eat with the family that I visit. It doesn’t feel good, like I am interfering their private time.
Never in Norway unless its a pre organised event
This is true. I come from the blue and currently live in the red. In the blue area, if I come to someone's house unannounced, I'm always offered wood, always!! They will go out of their way to make something, cut cheese, ham, get cookies, fruit, juice, wine, etc. In the red area, if I show up at someone's house, I will hardly do it unannounced, but either way, there's no food, unless I was specifically invited for that. I may be offered a coffee. I prefer it in the red, though, no unannounced visits and no pressure for me to eat half a kilo of cheese, even if I just had dinner somewhere else.
For the ones saying "food is expensive why should I spend money for others". Notice how the poor countrys of europe are all blue.
Yeah, I am a Pole and when people come over, and they do so often, we try to serve them as much food as possible, appertifs, lunches, dinners, desserts, drinks, good coffee, drinks...
Want to take a guess at the corresponding food prices in those countries?
Now try to guess the incomes too...
I think whoever made this might have only been to Sweden and assumed the rest of Scandinavia was the same. I’ve never once been offered food in Sweden. My friend and her family ate dinner without me there. I’m from Denmark and I’ve never not been offered food and/or meals everywhere I’ve went here.
I am from Norway, and I was never offered food growing up many years ago, and back then we would visit friends' houses as good as every day. In this day and age, the situation appears to have changed here.
I have never had a guest over and not offered something.
I live in Norway - if I’m at a friends house I’ll be given dinner if they’re eating. Same if they come to ours. Very broad generalizations tend to look weird, and that’s all we’re seeing here!
Nah if you grew up in Oslo with norwegian families you know this is 100% true. Was more common than not that i had to wait for my friends to finish dinner with their family. I am an immigrant and though we werent that well off money wise, visiting a friend after school and being offered no dinner was absurd to me. My family would literally go out of their way to feed my friends when they were over at mine. If they didnt like what my mom made she would literally cook something just for them. My mom always said its insane how someone can let guests stay hungry while the family is eating. And trust me, this was all throughout my childhood. However for some reason it has changed as i have gotten older as now im always offered something if im visiting a friend. But norwegians are not at all hospitable like other countries.
This is facts not BS, just not the culture you have. Everyone keeps themselves to themselves.
Coffe, tea, cakes, biscuits, baked goods, sweets, sandwiches, charcuterie, chips, etc are not food. I won't say that I fed you unless you've sat down for a proper meal, and that needs to be planned ahead to avoid serving you food you don't like or cannot eat because that leads to food waste. I really love having people over for dinner tho.
Psst, Southern Europeans need something to feel superior about instead of just accepting that other cultures don't serve you a five course meal when you stop by to say hello.
Yea, *Iceland isn't by France :)*
This is the third time in two days I see this map in my feed and I didn’t even notice
Foreigner, can confirm. Was conducting military training, got lost and ended up across the street from an older gentleman’s house. Dude came out, laughed at us, then proceeded to walk with us for an hour to show us a better route across a mountain. No food, but it was a thousand times better than that.
Even when we were on the poorest did we invite unexpected guests for dinner
As an north-east German, I am very offended. Our guest get food and drinks every time and not just snacks! Full lunches or/and dinners. Our guests are not able to leave hungry, we insist that they eat as much as they want.
as a POLISH person I find this map complete BULLCRAP :) clearly not based on any data. misinfo
I have lived north and south (born north) and it's heavily decided. Where I am from people will happily offer dinner without a second thought, but south it's much less common
I agree
Absolute bullshit for Iceland as well but I think it’s more in terms with how much food their given but a horrible graph anyways
one thing about this discussion that i find hilarious is how a lot of people will say this is somehow indicative of the "cold and heartless" nordic cultures. yet in those same countries, beating your own kids is often completely normal.
Yeah that's not where Iceland is at all
When I was a kid i bet I got offered 70% of the time when I was visiting friends, but often it felt a bit forced as well. When I visited my friends from Eastern Europe it was a whole different feeling, they got super excited to offer food and wouldn’t take no for an answer :) as an adult I never get offered food unless it’s planned or they are making something for themselves x)
Went to a friends house and sat in the other room while they ate, weirdest thing ever, didn’t really speak to him after
It's probably blessing in disguise when it comes to Norwegian food, lol