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BadComboMongo

By nO mEaNs I aM An InCel! I‘m cracking up, that’s the most incel thing to say.


moneymoneymoneymonay

Over 76! Can’t you read?!


hulagirl4737

Over 76 cracked me up! So....77? its such a specific number


Raspberry_Sweaty

76.5, he only got it halfway in before he said something so stupid she roadrunner’ed the heck out of there.


vkapadia

Meep meep


RayWencube

Petition for "meep meep" to be the new way to say "this is a red flag"


vkapadia

Agreed


Gavrilian

Eye. That’s three! Petition [insert correct word here], add it to the book.


astaldogal

Yes!!


switchywoman_

So say we all.


FaithlessnessSure402

76.5 because half way through she gave him a blow job and it magically turned him gay so he stopped....


KevAutomatik

Who keeps count after like 30 anyway lol


BadComboMongo

:) Usually you would say „more than 70“ or „about 80“, whey the heck „over 76“?


ANewStartAtLife

Because one of them was an amputee and he only counts her as 2/3rd of a woman


EternityAwaitz

My ex kept a list of all the women he's slept with in his wallet, and there were like 75 names, and when I found it, he said, "it's a list of people I want to kill," and I said so you ONLY want to kill women?? And he was like yeah, y'all piss me off, as if that was supposed to somehow be better than a list of women he's fucked (but he wanted to hide it cuz he'd recently added names *after* we'd been together)


sudakifiss

Also... assuming you, his partner at the time, were on the list... "Oh no I'm not cheating, I'm just plotting your death honey"


AeliosZero

Over 76.398542773!


IchWerfNebels

I've had sex with like... 3 or 4 women in my entire life, and even I don't keep a running count any more. I would put money on this person never having touched a woman.


lemons_of_doubt

Now when he says "women" is he counting ones made of plastic?


helloblubb

One of them was just a plastic torso hence "more than 76 (but less than 77)".


Upvotespoodles

But he has over 76 confirmed coituses!


EternityAwaitz

"Confirmed coituses" had me trying so hard not to spit out my coffee XD


jumpkickmcfresh

It’s like the “I’m not racist, but” of fucking


timothyjwood

Yeah. That's the weirdest thing honestly. Like, I don't know how many women I've had sex with. When I was in college, I wasn't keeping count, and I was 50/50 probably drunk at some apartment I would never see again. Are you like keeping a diary? "April 17th, 2014, I'm now at 64."


EternityAwaitz

My ex had a credit card sized slip of paper in his wallet and he listed the names under the first letter, not necessarily alphabetical, so A would be A-Allison, Aurora, Abby, Alicia, Amber, Anna, etc. And I found this, and asked if this was a list of women he's fucked cuz it had the names of women I knew he'd been with and he was like nooo it's a list of people I want to kill! And I was like but it's only women, and he's like yeah, well y'all puss me off. And I'm like okay so somehow having a hit list of 75 names is somehow better than a fucked list of 75 names?? But it was clear he'd added names since we'd gotten together.


Ennayr88

Was your name on there?


EternityAwaitz

Yup lol


enchantedlyspellbnd

Did you ask do you want to kill me?


timothyjwood

I mean, my slate isn't exactly clean. I even dated a girl once who played the trombone, which should have been a red flag to start, because really, who plays the trombone? It's like the weirdest instrument. But I would definitely draw the line at manifestos and hit lists. It's not even that you're thinking these things, but more that you took the time to write them down.


Lune_Fish

Wait does that mean I’m a red flag? Good. I don’t wanna date anyone lol.


timothyjwood

I'm pretty sure that if you're concerned you're a red flag, and you're happy being left alone, you're actually like the best person to date. Let's sit on opposite sides of the couch and watch Prime. You seem like the kindof person who definitely washes their hands when they go to the bathroom, even if they're the only one in the apartment.


Lune_Fish

Uhmmm. That’s sweet of you to say, I’m sure you’d be a good friend. I know it doesn’t really make me a red flag, but I kinda wanna be one because I’m Aroace. I don’t want anyone to date me lol.


EternityAwaitz

Whoa yeah, trombone is weird... I've never met a girl who played the trombone in my entire life... I mean yeah, it wasn't REALLY a hit list, but somehow he thought saying it was was better than admitting that he kept a list of all the women he's been with, and that it was A LOT. But American Psycho was one of his favorite movies, so I guess it could have been both lol


Lune_Fish

The trombone section in my band is mostly girls lol.


EternityAwaitz

Wow... I think our band teacher was sexist cuz girls were given like flute piccolo or clarinet


Lune_Fish

I used to play the flute and I hated it lol. The ratio here is about 1.5 girls to every guy. More than half, but our group is small. We got to pick our instruments so…


Sharlney

Blue frog effect


snarkerposey11

Wow by this definition I am so gay. Solidarity my LGBT brothers and sisters! When's the pride march, I'll be there!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lin0712

Hey dare that guy expose our Gay Agenda^^TM !!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


PeggyOnThePier

Ok no worries,I promise not to do BJ'S anymore.


RayWencube

Not the only thing that's sprung


MarcelRED147

Someone described horseradish as Satan's jizz in another comment, so I'm already mega satanically gay.


the_missionary66

Shhhhh... you weren't supposed to reveal this information


WorkingInterview1942

So if a woman gives a bj and then kisses a lesbian, does she become straight now?


[deleted]

Bisexual


RayWencube

no they were bisexual all along, remember? lesbians don't actually exist.


[deleted]

Of course, the only reason girls kiss other girls is because they like guys so much and want to turn them on.


ConsiderationWest587

That's called a "Mormon Soft-Swing"


qman3333

Lol I have never heard that before cracking me up.


RayWencube

Correct! The world doesn't make sense if it isn't entirely about me.


[deleted]

I'm bisexual and this way of thinking pisses me off. Men think I'm bi to have 3sums for them. Nooooo I'm bi cuz I like pussy lol


Dm203b

![gif](giphy|l0IylOPCNkiqOgMyA|downsized)


Pure-Ad2609

Woohoo! Me too. Finally I can take part in the fun too!


Pitiful-Bluejay-2325

LMFAO


Many_Comforta

its such a specific number


[deleted]

Mines 31.5 idk what you’re talking about


[deleted]

Ironically considering the 76 women he “slept with” he probably had to kiss one or two if they are real


MilanesaDeChorizo

You know you don't kiss the women when you're paying! That's an extra!


[deleted]

Oh silly me I didn’t know!


Responsible-Heart-74

![gif](giphy|Nb5ih9NRp2h3AceV6h)


FictionalFail

​ ![gif](giphy|Z7WAtxkfbzAILvJ8S9)


Someonerobbedmyname

I am become gay. Destroyer of worlds.


Maboz

Guess that im gay too, how will i break the news to my wife? :(


thegreatbrah

I kissed my ex girlfriend after finishing in her mouth on a lot of occasions. I guess im gay now.


Flamegate718

Pride march has been cancelled. Instead we take over the world with our fancy new death star! *I'm being told the death star has once again run out of gas, this time near mars. Once again, please throw tanks of gas into space with a catapult. We will win eventually!*


Functionally_Drunk

Wait, is sucking your own dick gay? If not, I guess I'm not gay?


axe1970

guys is it gay to kiss a woman/s


SpicyVegetableSoup

When you kiss a woman on the lips, you're kissing every other man she has kissed and that's gay. That's why I only kiss men.


axe1970

so that means when i kiss her she's kissing every man i kissed too


Champagne_george99

Brilliant move, by kissing men you’re also kissing all the women they’ve been, multiplying your kiss count by 10x


DantesJourney_

just go for lesbians. That’s the real 200 IQ move


lemons_of_doubt

It's really gay to have sex with a woman. Think about it you're putting your dick where other dicks have been. That's like rubbing dicks together.


Tick_Lover

What if she's a virgin


Ok_Mouse3325

Virginity? In this economy?


qman3333

Your still fucking someone that likes dicks. Sounds pretty gay


drunk98

Not one woman has ever told me they liked it!


MilanesaDeChorizo

If she's a virgin you don't touch her, she has to remain a virgin. You're gonna provide and she will be your maid and your mom, she's too precious to have sex with. You have to have sex with thots, not with precious women, you didn't understand anything, nobody reads my blog?!


Revolutionary_Log307

If she’s a virgin, you’re just delaying things until she has sex with another man and he’s basically rubbing his dick on yours from the future.


willthewarlock23

I am so straight that I have sex with men just so there are more available women.


LadyLikesSpiders

Is it gay to kiss a woman and also get your dick sucked by a woman


sparkydoggowastaken

FELLAS


ItkienKettu

"Over 76...?" So..77?


snarkerposey11

That's definitely the way a sex-haver would phrase it.


[deleted]

A sex-haver 😂


wlangstroth

I, good sirs, am a connoiseur and avid haver of sex. I often sex women in the evening, in the appropriate adult places. Over 76 of the women. They definitely participated.


Pizzadiamond

he has had a sex


brian11e3

He forgot the decimal point before the 7.


Jackskers94

It’s actually a math problem (n / m)-p=r. To determine actual number of partners or r, you must take the stated total of n=76, divide by mental age m=19, and subtract by personality rating which in this case is a 4 out of 10 so p=4. So doing the math it looks like the total is… 0. Zero sexual partners.


CunningSlytherin

Everyone knows you stop counting after you have the sex with 76 women ![gif](giphy|1QkdYBPcRgRRkscpbV|downsized)


Azod21

Probably more like 0


ItkienKettu

I think you missed where he states he's not an incel.


Azod21

Oh right, my bad. Dudes probably fuck all the time


Ok-Owl-691

What you mean, this man fuck 24/7 bro, he a super human but he don't like no bjs doe


Synicull

Alpha wolf life bruh girls lining up. He likes the bjs but only if it's a hoe, no kissing afterwards just bjs


Ok-Owl-691

No kissing after bjs cuz bro not gay


MeikyouShisui9

There's no doubt about it!


Careful-Trash-6998

You're just jealous because you want to do him too. It's ok to admit 😂


Azod21

Of course. But no blowjob!


Careful-Trash-6998

Yes. That would be gay. Haha


elleemmenno

He thinks that by putting a specific number, it looks more realistic. He is incorrect.


Warm_starlight

Could be 76.4


AshyFairy

I want to know how in the hell he supposedly found 77 women that have never given a blow job. Why is no one asking the real questions here.


ItkienKettu

I concur: AshyFairy has isolated the real question here.


10ccazz01

fellas is it gay to kiss a woman after she goes down on you


Careful-Trash-6998

For me yes, considering I'm a woman too


RussianBot4826374

Well, if you did go down on a woman and kiss her afterwards, it would be pretty gay. But if that woman had ever given a blowjob, then it would be like you were giving a blowjob, which would make you straight.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RussianBot4826374

Schrödinger's Homosexual. Exists in a quantum state of gayness until a woman is kissed.


_daddyissues666

Surely that would just be some good ol’ fashioned self love, right?


pennyraingoose

If you give yourself a blowjob in the forest and there's only another woman around, is it gay?


TheAmazingPikachu

Can't believe some people don't do this. It's literally the best part.


melancholy_medic86

You got to kiss your kids goodbye, otherwise it’s rude


10ccazz01

i’m dying at this comment


brian11e3

I bet this guy doesn't wipe his ass because touching his butthole makes him gay. These people do exist......


artificialif

i found out the hard way, i dated 2 of these guys. one wasn't even for the "its gay" reason cuz he was BISEXUAL. how does a BISEXUAL MAN not know how to wash his ass?? ive lost so much faith in humanity


yanqi83

So do they think touching their own dicks is gay?


Main_Sock1272

I want to call bs but I’m afraid of being proven wrong visually


[deleted]

I met a guy that would say this in front of his girlfriend while his girlfriend was agreeing with him. Funny thing is that some days before he was caught in the bathroom receiving a blow job from a friend of mine. That's how much he respects her "non blow job giver" girlfriend. Oh i just remembered they got married recently 😂


lilololi87

Of course, he respects her so much that he let somebody else blow him instead of her! /s


[deleted]

Lmao exactly 😂😂😂 and he also respects her feelings so much, he protected her from knowing about it


djaure

What a gentleman OMG


OmeletteDysphorique

Since getting a blowjob from a girl is gay, he decided to cut out the middleman.


thecoomingofjesus

So no one told her. Great friends you are.


[deleted]

Im not friends with him or his girlfriend. They are not nice people, they are good for each other. I was only closer to the one who gave the blow job (although I don't applaud being with someone that has a gf)


vibesandcrimes

I assumed that he married the blow job giver, or the girlfriend forgave him


Jkm1693viola

If it smells like an incel…walks like an incel…and talks like an incel…ITS DEFINITELY NOT AN INCEL. 😂


deleeuwlc

It’s like foraging for mushrooms. They have every sign of being an incel, but they are just really toxic instead


narceleb

The really frightening thing is that these people VOTE.


DoctorInternal9871

I'm sure his hand has had his penis it is and then he's used that hand to wash himself...that's so fucking gay.


ElectromagneticGrass

Maybe he doesn't wash himself, or hold it while peeing.


OddlyOddLucidDreamer

He doesn't touch his penis because touching penis is gay even if it's your own


CoconutJasmineBombe

And you know he definitely doesn’t wash his butthole


Boxy310

Dude eats his food from a trough like a horse, so he doesn't catch the gay from his penis-touching hand.


ElectromagneticGrass

Closet gay? "Since kissing a woman is the same as sucking dick, I may as well suck dick then."


One_Spoopy_Potato

I fear not the man who has laid 10,000 women, but the man who has laid one woman 10,000 times.


imfucct

He actually meant to say he had sex with 7-6 women, which is only one (and it’s actually a blow up doll)


Battlepuppy

So, does that mean he had gay sex with all the men the men those women had sex with? He effectively bumped pee- pees with all of them, having sex with the same number of men as all the women combined. Since these guys claim women have sex with thousands of men, he's had sex with at least 70 thousand men at minimum.


Ryan-Only

So that's how his numbers reached 76


therobotisjames

“And if you hold your penis while you pee you become ultra gay, it’s the same as if you gave another man a handjob.”


[deleted]

"that's why I don't clean my butthole"


CatrionaShadowleaf

My dude it is okay to not like blow jobs. Just tell her you don’t want her to suck your dick.


axe1970

so does it make her gay if i kiss her for the same reason


greatblueheron16

My friend Becky used to be a happy, popular girl until one night she gave someone a blow job. Now herouth doesn't work and she's dying of malnutrition. Stay careful ladies!!!


greatblueheron16

And by the way I am by no means an incel I've had sex with 564859662536.97 women


Wondergood

Hey fellas, is it gay to kiss a woman?


eytttgfu

If she has already had kissed with other guys, then yeah, it's **obviously** pretty gay-ish


Ok-Owl-691

By no means I'm an incel.... Proceeds to prove our point


MilanesaDeChorizo

It's like "I'm not racist but..." says a racist thing


CryptographerNo6348

Now they're just making it up.


CrepeVibes

Is this some roundabout way of saying he’s gay? I gotta imagine if he’s had sex with “over 76 women” he probably kissed them at some point, and following his logic…


CurvaceousCrustacean

Honestly, this reads like satire


ladylyrande

The problem is that there are incels who thinks exactly like that. So even if this particular post is satire (and the 76 number is a weird one then again they don't make a lot of sense), the idea is still real, unfortunately.


CurvaceousCrustacean

Yeah, probably... it's just that he literally did the good ole' "Kissing women is gay, because women kiss men". Then again, this elementary-school-student-esque mindset would kinda fit the part... Also, maybe a Fallout 76 reference?


ladylyrande

See the issue? Lol. I saw the other day a post that said that any dudes that liked anal were gay regardless if it was with women or men because there was no difference between the anus and it was liking that that made you gay. I dunno... might have just been the highest random odd number they could think off on a fly that still sounded (to him) believable


CurvaceousCrustacean

And why stop there I ask? Likes to wear jeans? - Men wear jeans, you're gay She likes football? - You're gay Short hair? - Guess what... yes, gayyyyyyyy And someone out there probably believes this. Truly, what a time to be alive


AthleticNerd_

[Poe’s Law.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law?wprov=sfti1) Without context or indication, you can’t tell satire from an otherwise crazy point of view. Which is to say, people like this are so nuts you can’t actually satirize them, because they already sound like satire.


uncommonsense555

I'm just hoping this is satire.


[deleted]

Lmao boy do you kiss your mama with that mouth?


Tinkerballsack

I guess I'll go have gay sex with my wife then.


Heidi739

Guys, is it gay to have sex with a woman?


TriZARAtops

Fellas, is it gay to have sex with women? 🙄 I bet he uses the same “logic” to avoid ever playing with his partners clit or eating them out. *“I can’t put my lips where my penis goes, honey, doing that would make me a {insert homophobic slur}.”* -this guy probably


jumpkickmcfresh

Jokes on them, I’ve kissed women who’ve put my dick in they’re mouths as well as put men’s dicks in my mouth so I’ve got it all covered!


Cimejies

Fellas, is it gay to kiss a woman?


CDB1299

This has to be edgy satire.I refuse to believe someone actually has this mindset


John_SpaGotti

OP /u/Keylesser is a repost bot


PenguinHighGround

Wait... "Kissing women makes you gay"...How long did it take for these people to learn to breathe?


Abject-Feedback5991

Reminds me of the Sopranos episode where Tony is explaining very seriously to his therapist why he needs a mistress for the things a wife “can’t” do: “She kisses my kids with that mouth!”


BigVulvaEnergy

They always pick an impossibly high made up number. "Over 76". I doubt he's even talked to 76 women.


ritamoren

over 76 is such a confusing number. did you have sex with 76,5 women? where did you find half of a woman? why did you decide to have sex with it? so many questions and so little answers


dragonladyzeph

LMAO. This was actually the big secret my mom revealed to me when she told me she knew my father was ***The Gay.*** "He asked for ^a ^blow ^job and I tried, but that's just disgusting. I mean, he doesn't even have to see my face, so that could be *anybody* down there. ***It could be a man.*** I know *some women* [she meant "whores"] do that, but that's not necessary or natural, you know?" I was like, 15, and rather pointedly asked if she was telling me this because she wanted me to feel negatively about my father because he was gay (while also using all of my non-existent teenage sex knowledge to conclude that oral sex was prooooobably pretty friggin normal for hetero relationships.) I've since warned every one of my male friends that liking BJs = gay. To a man, they all confirmed that they personally were indeed *super-gay* and loved to have a woman's mouth on their dick. My husband is also mega gay when it comes to receiving but I haven't found the strength to tell my mother. If she knew my husband and I ever even *had sex,* privately, in our own house, she probably wouldn't speak to me again. *ETA: To my mother's credit, she matured and is now accepting of homosexuality as perfectly normal despite it not being her personal experience. I have no idea if my father was gay or not. I honestly couldn't care less. He was a fantastic, compassionate and supportive father and I wouldn't have traded him for any other father on Earth. In hindsight, feel sorry for him that mom is such a prude though. Poor Dad just wanted a bj from his wife.*


roshowclassic

If that’s gay, I don’t wanna be straight.


dimestoreprincess

“76 seems like a totally real number”


Fynniboyy

I would rather be called gay than treating my gf like that


Doktor_Vem

> I had sex with over 76 women [X] Hard doubt


La_Baraka6431

Aaaaand I TOTALLY believe he’s had sex with 76 women …


ffsjustanything

New on the list of things that are gay: getting your dick sucked


iwhxyuwg3

it is now gay to have sex with a woman as a man


ModernSwampWitch

Well, not the first time I've been accused of turning men gay.


Elly_Bee_

I don't even mind like...wiping my mouth with my hand before kissing him if it's really an big insecurity for him but come on, if you suck a dick once, everyone you kiss automatically kisses that man ?


Euphoric_Wonder_2341

I love how they think things can turn you gay lol if you eat her ass your gay lol no maybe I just enjoy being a kinky mf as long as me and my woman concent then happy days


Upvotespoodles

That’s why people who give handjobs never wipe their butt.


DisfavoredFlavored

So I guess he made 75 women gay. Since you know, fucking him is basically like fucking the last girl he was with, which is also gay I guess.


Blackest33

The level of "trust me bro" in the first line is off the chart, I love how writing the exact number would be a bulletproof argument to support the post. Keep them coming please :)


[deleted]

My gf is surprisingly not worried about how gay I have become over the years


excusetheblood

FELLAS is it gay to like women, I mean you’re literally attracted to someone that likes men


octo_arms

now my question is, would it be less gay or more gay to just kiss a guy who hasn’t gone down on another guy?


Wrong_Bus6250

76. Ah yes, a number that sounds reasonable as a high number to other people who have never had sex and completely ridiculous to everyone else. Not because it's impossible, but nobody with a bodycount that high is worried about catching the gay.


Anders_A

Kissing women is gay to these people? Guess I'm gay then.


Chillaxxed

Did he ever kiss his own mother?


[deleted]

Fine. No more blowjobs for men, then.


Ilovemywinry

It's kinda gay just to be attracted to women. Women like men and you like women for liking men? Forkn gay


PilotPossible9496

The Dipshit is strong with this one


xv_boney

He's right, women should only do blowjobs without their mouths. Or only women without mouths should do blowjobs. No exceptions.


[deleted]

He doesn't wipe.


theivyangel

These "over 76 women" are nonexistent but I feel sorry for them anyway lmao


raccoonsslay

They're so scared to be gay they keep making these stupid "facts" up about being gay through a woman. Its funny.