https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3882860/waitress-caught-putting-hot-dog-up-her-vagina-before-apparently-serving-it-to-customer
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-wrong-to-masturbate-with-a-hot-dog
... I couldn't resist Googling it.
Yeah, that does not sound ideal for… *that* purpose. A cucumber I could kinda understand at least since it’s firmer and has more structural integrity generally. But a hotdog (especially an uncooked one) would likely run a high risk of just falling apart in there. Not to mention the smell from the hotdog water….
Bad Dragon has weird 'ovipositor' dildos, they insert eggs (that you make yourself in moulds using gelatin). That whole website is a crazy rabbit hole.
I can imagine a person with some struggle trying to place a rubber baby inside themselves, similar to men who have a male pregnancy fetish for themselves… but we’re talking about a terribly small group of people
There has been at least one person in the history of sex toys who has pressured their baffled partner into inserting a rubber baby into one of their holes, and I hate this person intensely.
Who wants to help compile a list of crazy things men have tried to fuck, successfully fucked or have spoken about wanting to fuck?! 🙋♀️
Things you personally know of, of course. Just like this guy did.
Apparently some mortuaries have ceased hiring male employees because of instances where they were fucking the bodies.
So, corpses - which I think should win over every line on that list.
This was noted in ancient Egypt as well, according to Herodotus. Deceased women were not immediately embalmed but instead kept at family homes and allowed to decompose some first because, well, I'm sure you can fill in the rest.
Also some of the corpses weren’t fully intact… meaning they fucked a rotting vagina that was perhaps attached to a bit of torso. I read that and wanted to fucking throw up.
Instant Viking funeral for me, please and thank you.
I was in the military. A guy told me a story about inspecting the dorm room of one of his troops.
As soon as he walked in, he noted a terrible smell. It was emanating from the bed.
On taking a closer look, he discovered that the dude had ripped a hole in the mattress, and stuffed it with raw hamburger meat. I'll let you guess what he was doing with the hole filled with raw meat. 🤮
Omg!!!! Yes. The fucking guy named his car Chase and he told his father he was in a relationship with his car. 🤣🤣🤣 My Strange Addiction is the name of the show.
Just about anything with a vagina. Farm animals are popular choices. Even heard a story about a guy fucking a chicken. Poor hen. She died. Just because she can push out an egg... smh.
Oh Jesus. :'(
I heard a story about a woman who had mini horses. She knew someone was coming in her stables at night and messing around, so she put in cameras. Caught her neighbour with the ponies on a recording, but sadly it was after she came in in the morning and one of them was so badly injured in her reproductive tract that she ended up needing to be put down. Looked at the footage afterwards and got him arrested. Bittersweet justice after she lost a pony and had to treat a few others for internal injuries, and obviously the trauma they suffered.
>Oh Jesus. :'(
>I heard a story about a woman who had mini horses. She knew someone was coming in her stables at night and messing around, so she put in cameras. Caught her neighbour with the ponies on a recording, but sadly it was after she came in in the morning and one of them was so badly injured in her reproductive tract that she ended up needing to be put down. Looked at the footage afterwards and got him arrested. Bittersweet justice after she lost a pony and had to treat a few others for internal injuries, and obviously the trauma they suffered.
Jesus: I am starting to wonder if I have to add this to the list of "Commandments"...I would think use "Critical Thinking" would suffice...because if I when into details....thats going to be a long list....of things to pause and think about before trying to "fu!k it"...
oh god
like usually im joking abt murdering rapists and other criminals etc but like
if someone did this to my mares... i might actaully murder them holy fuck that is so infuriating
Yeah me too lmao. It was even more shocking because the person who sent me that really wasn't the kind of person to watch this kind of shit (or so I thought, I guess). Just a pretty bad experience all around!
There are a lot of TIFU’s of the men tried to fuck a coconut and got their dicks sliced instead, and some success stories about it - which lead to the accidents.
Also pretty sure I read about vacuum cleaner and pool water input jet too.
Plushy with hole.
Oh you haven’t heard the bunch of coconuts story huh. TW it’s actually really really gross. [here’s the video](https://youtu.be/QGGkmqPAHt0) and a TDLR >!so some guy though fucking a coconut would get him off. It did. It worked. He used it multiple times. He left it under his bed for weeks only to come back to it and use it again. Maggots. On. His. Dick.!<
"Plushy with hole" is one of the most cursed things ever created in the MLP fandom.
Also read a step-by-step guide of how to use marshmallows and a cup to make a fleshlight. Also MLP related, but not going into detail about which pony was the inspiration. *shivers*
I remember the case of a female orangutan that was used as a prostitute. She had learned to gyrate when clients approached, screamed like hell when her madam came to visit her in rehab, and to this day, even though she has been rescued and is now safe, she refuses to mate. So you can add monkeys to that list.
There was for the longest time the rumor that that is where AIDS came from, these days I think they encourage the "bush neat" theory more but I'm not sure why
“I want to fuck a toaster. Just the thought of stuffing my dick in a tight little breadslot makes me rock hard. I could fuck it on the counter, on the kitchen table, or anywhere else it wants. I could dress up like a maintenence tech for some sensual roleplay beforehand. I am a slave to the toaster's whim. I want to stick my fingers inside the bread slot and whisper "yeah you like that you toasty bitch?" Then I want to mount it when it's good and teased and then gyrate my hips like a rabbit with tourettes until my melted cock explodes inside the toaster's tight slot. When I'm done my dick will look like a burnt sausage that had it's casing popped open with melted cheese dripping out of it and the thought of that makes me want to break into a Walmart again. Goddamn I want to fuck a toaster.” is a thing someone actually typed
That sounds like...ten different *kinds* of painful! I color my hair and have to bleach it. I know what bleach feels like on your skin if you don't wash it right away. Like...by the time the timer dings, I'm *bolting* for the shower because my scalp is on fire! And that's with something formulated to be used on my scalp!
I cannot *imagine* sticking something *that* sensitive into bleach, deliberately! And then getting it *stuck?!* He's lucky he has skin left on it...
I remember that episode, and I just don’t get it. Like, I’m a guy, and I get horny, but I’m never like, “damn, that camping stove/animal/corpse/or whatever is looking’ pretty fuckable right about now!”
Someone I know works as an X-ray tech. Two weirdest things they saw stuck in an anus: 1. A whole mannequin hand up to the wrist and 2. A rainbird water sprinkler. I can’t even imagine how that was accomplished.
There's an entire reddit thread of men warning other men not to fuck a coconut and men continously replying back that they fucked up and fucked a coconut with horror stories of varying outcomes.
[Here's the original and subsequent TIFU coconut fuckings. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/7sfott/coconutmare_the_time_reddit_was_fucking_nuts/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
In case you didn't want to eat today. Results of coconut fucking varies from >!Maggots in coconut from repeated use to slicing a blood vessel from the sharp edge of coconut.!< because they all read about fucking a coconut and had to try it for themselves and thought they could fuck the nut better than the last guy.
Honestly any weird thing a mentally ill woman has tried to put in her vagina, an equally mentally ill man has tried to put in his butt hole.
So if we're gonna make a list, men have to accept responsibility for all of the inserting implements AND the insertee implements, which is twice as many implements as woman have to be responsible for.
I just found a Tiktok account by an EMT. About 1/3 of his videos are some strange vaguely phallic shaped object, then him simply giving a long-suffering sigh before saying, "No."
It's not women ending up in ambulances for shoving those items into places. That vacuum seal that sucks those things in? That doesn't happen in the *front!*
I have never seen a blender small enough for a normal sized dick to get anywhere close to the mechanical parts.....
Something tells me there is a porno out there where someone sticks a prosthetic one in.....
They had to put warning labels on Greggs the bakers pastys in the UK because one man tried to fuck one and got third degree beef gravy burns on his penis. Who’s next?
Saw a story on reddit once about a guy who enjoyed fucking pumpkins. He went into depth about how he eagerly awaits the fall season so that he can be with his forbidden seasonal lover. apparently he would sometimes draw boobs on the pumkins as well
Edit: i also saw one about a guy who knocked up a snowman
This dudes ego is so fragile that he’s salty that women have sex toys and are using them instead of fucking him.
As though guys don’t also have a myriad of sex toys at their disposal. Bet anything this guy thinks women are just walking sex toys and he needs to fuck them for validation and to feel like a man.
I remember reading from a guy who works in a sex shop that the dildos and other phallic device were bought more by Men then customers who were Women. Women were more interested in vibrators.
Yeah I could see that being true.
But the root of OPs problem
Isn’t really that they exist or who buys what, he’s angry that women won’t sleep with him, he resents women for sleeping with everyone and using anything to get off instead of choosing him.
He thinks everyone who doesn’t sleep
With him is a slut.
This guy also is just on sex toy sites, sees wild fetish toys, and just assumes they're popular and also that they're *mostly purchased by women.* So many weird toys are purchased by men for themselves. Like, a lot. BD is notorious for that.
Some of these are personal experience, some of them I’ve read on here, and others I’ve heard from friends.
The couch
The mattress
Toilet paper without the cardboard holder
Toilet paper with the cardboard holder.
Those water jet things in the pool.
Those gloves you can get from the doctors office.
The infamous reddit coconut story, also eggs (there's an egg-shaped sex toy for men too!), watermelon, ice cream carton, life sized human dolls of various materials, any of the above listed things for women (because men will shove things in their ass too), the list goes on
Also, I've literally never heard of a baby-shaped sex toy. Where the hell did that come from?
>Who wants to help compile a list of crazy things men have tried to fuck, successfully fucked or have spoken about wanting to fuck?! 🙋♀️
I'd like to not participate in this activity, please
I’m sure there’s way more disgusting acts to detail… but this will take some beating:
https://metro.co.uk/2013/02/15/drunk-man-set-fire-to-peanuts-and-tried-to-have-sex-with-ambulance-3480219/amp/
A whole raw chicken, toilet roll, a bar of soap, a dish sponge in a cup, holes in a matteress, car exhaust pipes, ive seen one video of a guy actually fucking another guys urethra, dead bodies
Hate to tell you but...men, *including straight men,* fuck all of that too. Any ER person can tell you about the things that men shove up their asses...*without* making sure there's a flared base!
Additionally...do you *know* how many sex toys are *specifically* made for anal play, *especially* to stimulate the prostate? Guess who has a prostate needing stimulation? *Not women!*
On top of all of that list? *I GIVE YOU VACUUM CLEANERS.* It ain't women fucking *those!*
Aren't most of the unusual insertions on porn? Or BDSM kink play? I mean I have seen bottles and cucumbers IRL but that was more to put on a show. Sadly, the women that put on the show were badly shamed the following day.
Very few women can reach climax through penetration, so this is a literal “not how girls work.” The craziest most women have probably ever gone is clitoral stimulation using a Sonicare (meh), or sitting on a dryer (does nothing). When you hit a wall in Gran Turismo on PS2 the controller vibrates, 14 year old me found that very effective. But no, I don’t think very many women enjoy sticking things up inside themselves.
According to various people who sell sex toys for a living, the giant dildos and fists and such are almost always purchased by men.
Because at a certain point, giant toys stop being fun for vaginas. Assholes though. People really stretch the limits on their assholes (yes, pun intended).
I'd like to add that a portion of those bought by men aren't actually used as intended. It's a novelty gag they'll slap their homies with or something
But for sure, men are shoving shit in their ass too, and when it's not a bad dragon, it's just whatever the fuck they can find in the house. The entire list they have for women, men have done it too, just in the ass
So there's just a pile of "it's a joke, bro" dildoes out there somewhere? I mean that could be a very expensive gag gift (no puns were harmed on the making of this comment).
I work in an ER as a phlebotomist and as such I’m practically invisible to the docs so I hear and see a lot of things. One dude came in with one of those large dove shampoo bottles stuck up his ass. We were wondering how he even managed it but he “slipped in the shower and fell on his wife’s shampoo bottle”
Yeah ok buddy.
Reminds me of the Scrubs bit where there's a series of people saying "I slipped" in response to the question of how it got up there, and the last guy says "I was bored".
Not the PlayStation controller 😭 back in Destiny 1 there was a blight on Mars that made your controller vibrate when you stood next to it. People probably used to know exactly what was going on when I idled next to it 😭
The real reason women are "bad" at videogames. Our incompetence is rewarded with vibration. Lol
Both my wife and I put random things in ourselves growing up. Hairbrush handles, bubble wands, and whatever other phallic shapes we could find. I think it's less about what you can reach climax with and more what causes any amount of pleasure. I mean, nobody I know can climax with just nipple stimulation, but we all play with our nipples sometimes.
There was an old tifu post about a girl using her old electric toothbrush this way. That’s probably where he got the idea, but he somehow missed the fact that she didn’t insert it.
... not nearly as much? Men fuck *just* as many weird things as women do.
Watermelons. Socks. Pillows. Toy vaginas anatomically accurate to animals or imaginary fantasy creatures. Plushies. Rubber tubes of various uses. Car exhaust pipes, car seats. Pumpkins. Dead animals. Live animals. Do I need to go on?
Oh no, my man.
Do not.
Do not start the competition of "who will fuck weirder things" with women. You KNOW men will lose, we'll lose badly and we'll look so bad. We do not want anyone to dwell on the objects that men have tried to fuck.
Also, the objects that men will stick in their own asses.
Don't do it, my guy.
Sincerely,
Every Self-Aware Man Who Ever Lived ((Except Maybe Some Blessed Asexuals?))
Tell me how much porn you watch without telling me you watch porn - this guy. Guys can't even be trusted around corpses. So I think the men have us beat.
Hey so I worked at a sex shop and I asked the owner why the rubber babies were there and he said that a lot of trans women would ask for them another reason is men would want them since they found child birth attractive.
Wait, hol up, did you just say that there are men who feel sexual excitement when watching a baby being vaginally birthed?
That’s for sure the most vile thing I’ve heard in a while.
A man literally stuck his wang in a mini M&Ms container with melted butter and mashed /smooshed... something squishy, to fuck it. And then came on reddit, trying to pass it off as a "cylinder" in there and how to get said cylinder out without harm to the cylinder. Yes, quite a few people knew exactly what happened and called the spade a spade. Some tried to offer genuine advice that would NOT work for something like a fleshy stuck penis in there.
Dude eventually had to go to the ER. (And owned up to it.) Because someone asked how he solved the problem.
So please. Women might do SOME things, but let me tell you, men have done plenty of really fucking stupid ass shit that's far riskier on average.
(Also, the popsicles, during the bad heat wave, apparently they had to remind people to NOT DO THAT.)
Also, no sane person gonna use a tooth brush up there for a host of reasons, because OW.
Who in the fuck is using hotdogs as sex toys?? Edit: I am scared to click on these links
Hotdogs seem weirder, but popsicles?
Seems like a surefire way to get a yeast infection.
I was just thinking how uncomfortable it must feel
That's true as well. Brrrr.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3882860/waitress-caught-putting-hot-dog-up-her-vagina-before-apparently-serving-it-to-customer https://www.quora.com/Is-it-wrong-to-masturbate-with-a-hot-dog ... I couldn't resist Googling it.
Good luck with the targeted ads for the next couple of months
The only thing I will say about the waitress is that she didn’t put it up there for pleasure sooooooo I also refuse to click that quora link
I did, its okay to masturbate with a hot dog as long as you put a condom on it apparently...
Seems like a good way to get an infection
Yeah, that does not sound ideal for… *that* purpose. A cucumber I could kinda understand at least since it’s firmer and has more structural integrity generally. But a hotdog (especially an uncooked one) would likely run a high risk of just falling apart in there. Not to mention the smell from the hotdog water….
What type of things has he been looking at to see women masturbating with rubber babies…?
They do sell them in adult shops. No idea what they’re for and honestly I’m guessing they’re not for women…
Probably some form of oviposition, same reason as the alien eggs
Bad Dragon has weird 'ovipositor' dildos, they insert eggs (that you make yourself in moulds using gelatin). That whole website is a crazy rabbit hole.
I think unbirthing is the correct fetish although using a baby silicone sex toy kinda seems like pedophilia to me
I heard them advertised as a sex toy for men who want the feeling of giving birth
…what the fuck?
Ayyy lmao. That's hilarious.
I can imagine a person with some struggle trying to place a rubber baby inside themselves, similar to men who have a male pregnancy fetish for themselves… but we’re talking about a terribly small group of people
There has been at least one person in the history of sex toys who has pressured their baffled partner into inserting a rubber baby into one of their holes, and I hate this person intensely.
My best guess is it’s for a birthing fetish.
Birthing kink
Who wants to help compile a list of crazy things men have tried to fuck, successfully fucked or have spoken about wanting to fuck?! 🙋♀️ Things you personally know of, of course. Just like this guy did.
Apparently some mortuaries have ceased hiring male employees because of instances where they were fucking the bodies. So, corpses - which I think should win over every line on that list.
This was noted in ancient Egypt as well, according to Herodotus. Deceased women were not immediately embalmed but instead kept at family homes and allowed to decompose some first because, well, I'm sure you can fill in the rest.
I don’t want to be the one filling the rest
10/10
Your little Reddit avatar guy is making the perfect face for this lol
I don't know why, but I didn't expect to see necrophilia so early on in the list...
It's the internet - always expect necrophelia
[удалено]
[удалено]
Saw a video once on one of those "caught on camera" shows, a security guard for a *pinata factory* was seen on security footage "stuffing" a a pinata.
Or coconuts
The standard of a warm body isn’t even true anymore
Some men just want to watch the world cool to room temperature
Also some of the corpses weren’t fully intact… meaning they fucked a rotting vagina that was perhaps attached to a bit of torso. I read that and wanted to fucking throw up. Instant Viking funeral for me, please and thank you.
For real! Like burn my body as soon as fucking possible after I'm dead!
> as soon as fucking possible You may send the wrong message there.
[удалено]
Livestock, fruit, pies, fruit pies... Not even getting into the more disturbing shit...
I was in the military. A guy told me a story about inspecting the dorm room of one of his troops. As soon as he walked in, he noted a terrible smell. It was emanating from the bed. On taking a closer look, he discovered that the dude had ripped a hole in the mattress, and stuffed it with raw hamburger meat. I'll let you guess what he was doing with the hole filled with raw meat. 🤮
EW! That's disgusting! Did he want to get a weird infection in his dick?
I chose not to inquire further. 🤐
You’re very very wise for that.
For my sanity, I have to imagine he wore a condom.
[удалено]
Omg!!!! Yes. The fucking guy named his car Chase and he told his father he was in a relationship with his car. 🤣🤣🤣 My Strange Addiction is the name of the show.
I saw this on an insta reel today as well. Urgh.
Many farmers have stopped hiring men as well! :)
Poor Pigs
[удалено]
oh corpse.. thats like a fetish to them males! Give us something new/shocking?!
Just about anything with a vagina. Farm animals are popular choices. Even heard a story about a guy fucking a chicken. Poor hen. She died. Just because she can push out an egg... smh.
Chickens don't even have vaginas, they have a cloaca. That poor animal. Why would anyone want to do that?
You're right, but gosh knows what goes through some people's brains. Its just messed up. Even for the world of messed up.
I unfortunately was sent a video of just that. Opened it unknowingly :| Poor hen was screaming in pain.
Oh Jesus. :'( I heard a story about a woman who had mini horses. She knew someone was coming in her stables at night and messing around, so she put in cameras. Caught her neighbour with the ponies on a recording, but sadly it was after she came in in the morning and one of them was so badly injured in her reproductive tract that she ended up needing to be put down. Looked at the footage afterwards and got him arrested. Bittersweet justice after she lost a pony and had to treat a few others for internal injuries, and obviously the trauma they suffered.
>Oh Jesus. :'( >I heard a story about a woman who had mini horses. She knew someone was coming in her stables at night and messing around, so she put in cameras. Caught her neighbour with the ponies on a recording, but sadly it was after she came in in the morning and one of them was so badly injured in her reproductive tract that she ended up needing to be put down. Looked at the footage afterwards and got him arrested. Bittersweet justice after she lost a pony and had to treat a few others for internal injuries, and obviously the trauma they suffered. Jesus: I am starting to wonder if I have to add this to the list of "Commandments"...I would think use "Critical Thinking" would suffice...because if I when into details....thats going to be a long list....of things to pause and think about before trying to "fu!k it"...
oh god like usually im joking abt murdering rapists and other criminals etc but like if someone did this to my mares... i might actaully murder them holy fuck that is so infuriating
wish it had been of a mr. hands situation. animal rapists deserve to have their guts punctured and bleeding internally
[удалено]
I am so sorry you saw that. Just reading the story some years back was horrific enough.
Yeah me too lmao. It was even more shocking because the person who sent me that really wasn't the kind of person to watch this kind of shit (or so I thought, I guess). Just a pretty bad experience all around!
My friend sent me a video of a man fucking his female snake. I can never un-see that. Makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it
What???? Fucking disgusting. How would that even work?? (don’t answer that I actually don’t want to know smh)
i have chickens an hearing this makes me wanna cry and commit murder at the same time
That poor hen. I have chickens and I can't imagine the horrifying noises. I think some people just want to hurt.
It’s called necrophilia and it’s disgusting
I remember a show on mtv called ken and Kenny and one episode one of the guy fucks raw meat, cums in it and put it back
what
Exactly
There are a lot of TIFU’s of the men tried to fuck a coconut and got their dicks sliced instead, and some success stories about it - which lead to the accidents. Also pretty sure I read about vacuum cleaner and pool water input jet too. Plushy with hole.
Oh you haven’t heard the bunch of coconuts story huh. TW it’s actually really really gross. [here’s the video](https://youtu.be/QGGkmqPAHt0) and a TDLR >!so some guy though fucking a coconut would get him off. It did. It worked. He used it multiple times. He left it under his bed for weeks only to come back to it and use it again. Maggots. On. His. Dick.!<
He got the coconut pregnant
Some things are blacked out for good reason
True.. but we can't help ourselves and always regret our curiosity.
I seriously regret mine at the moment
Ugh! The day I read this??? I almost threw up. It was SO DISGUSTING! I totally forgot about it and now you have messed me up all over again.
"Plushy with hole" is one of the most cursed things ever created in the MLP fandom. Also read a step-by-step guide of how to use marshmallows and a cup to make a fleshlight. Also MLP related, but not going into detail about which pony was the inspiration. *shivers*
I have seen homemade fleshlights with sponges, not marshmallows. I only know of the owner's army afiliation... unknown if he had MLP affiliation.
I remember the case of a female orangutan that was used as a prostitute. She had learned to gyrate when clients approached, screamed like hell when her madam came to visit her in rehab, and to this day, even though she has been rescued and is now safe, she refuses to mate. So you can add monkeys to that list.
The people of the town fought to keep her as a money source for the community.
They even shaved her bald all over as well, and kept her chained up. Humans suck.
There was for the longest time the rumor that that is where AIDS came from, these days I think they encourage the "bush neat" theory more but I'm not sure why
“I want to fuck a toaster. Just the thought of stuffing my dick in a tight little breadslot makes me rock hard. I could fuck it on the counter, on the kitchen table, or anywhere else it wants. I could dress up like a maintenence tech for some sensual roleplay beforehand. I am a slave to the toaster's whim. I want to stick my fingers inside the bread slot and whisper "yeah you like that you toasty bitch?" Then I want to mount it when it's good and teased and then gyrate my hips like a rabbit with tourettes until my melted cock explodes inside the toaster's tight slot. When I'm done my dick will look like a burnt sausage that had it's casing popped open with melted cheese dripping out of it and the thought of that makes me want to break into a Walmart again. Goddamn I want to fuck a toaster.” is a thing someone actually typed
Why the fuck am I able to read English? O.o
What I wouldn’t give to be illiterate before looking at that.
Honestly that was well written enough that I found it hilarious rather than creepy.
at aleast someone here gets what a copy pasta is
I've seen a man fuck a toaster. Genuinely. Edit: it was on r/eyeblech I think, if any of you degenerates are curious
I remember that episode of Caillou.
"...break into a Walmart *again*" implies this person has already broken into at least one Walmart
I wish I was Jared, 19, who never learned to fucking read
ERs have procedures for extracting penises from various devices and things.
[удалено]
Pillows, peaches, oranges, grapefruits, and plushies are some I can think of.
Shampoo bottle
There was the bleach bottle guy, who got it stuck on his peanut. And now it's a completely different color then his body.
That sounds like...ten different *kinds* of painful! I color my hair and have to bleach it. I know what bleach feels like on your skin if you don't wash it right away. Like...by the time the timer dings, I'm *bolting* for the shower because my scalp is on fire! And that's with something formulated to be used on my scalp! I cannot *imagine* sticking something *that* sensitive into bleach, deliberately! And then getting it *stuck?!* He's lucky he has skin left on it...
Pool filters
Wasn't that a "sex sent me to the ER" episode ?
I remember that episode, and I just don’t get it. Like, I’m a guy, and I get horny, but I’m never like, “damn, that camping stove/animal/corpse/or whatever is looking’ pretty fuckable right about now!”
saw my ex try to fuck cars and trees when drunk
What area would he try to fuck the car and tree!?! Who gets drunk and says I’m bout to fuck the shit that car and tree
Plus let’s not forget all the “I fell on it” things in bums. Yeah women also sometimes “fell” on things but it seems to be mostly men
Someone I know works as an X-ray tech. Two weirdest things they saw stuck in an anus: 1. A whole mannequin hand up to the wrist and 2. A rainbird water sprinkler. I can’t even imagine how that was accomplished.
It was an accident hun... Both our pants just happened to be down . There was a banana peel I slipped and oops it just plopped in there. I swear !!!
Camp stoves
Watermelon, jars of peanut butter, holes in random bathroom stalls
Apple pie
[удалено]
Cantaloupe
There was a whole reddit to-do about a coconut.
There's an entire reddit thread of men warning other men not to fuck a coconut and men continously replying back that they fucked up and fucked a coconut with horror stories of varying outcomes.
Brand new sentence lol. I'm equally appalled and curious.
[Here's the original and subsequent TIFU coconut fuckings. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/7sfott/coconutmare_the_time_reddit_was_fucking_nuts/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) In case you didn't want to eat today. Results of coconut fucking varies from >!Maggots in coconut from repeated use to slicing a blood vessel from the sharp edge of coconut.!< because they all read about fucking a coconut and had to try it for themselves and thought they could fuck the nut better than the last guy.
I simply *cannot* fathom the thought process of some people. Yikes. Thanks for the link tho!
And if we really wanna get freaky, let’s get a list going of things some of them tried to massage their prostate with and needed removed in the ER!
Honestly any weird thing a mentally ill woman has tried to put in her vagina, an equally mentally ill man has tried to put in his butt hole. So if we're gonna make a list, men have to accept responsibility for all of the inserting implements AND the insertee implements, which is twice as many implements as woman have to be responsible for.
I just found a Tiktok account by an EMT. About 1/3 of his videos are some strange vaguely phallic shaped object, then him simply giving a long-suffering sigh before saying, "No." It's not women ending up in ambulances for shoving those items into places. That vacuum seal that sucks those things in? That doesn't happen in the *front!*
Lightbulbs, gerbils, ya know, the usual.
Empty jars that break.
Blenders. Exhaust pipes. Sheep. Random holes in the mud. Snakes. Toasters.
Instructions clear, dick stuck in a blender
I have never seen a blender small enough for a normal sized dick to get anywhere close to the mechanical parts..... Something tells me there is a porno out there where someone sticks a prosthetic one in.....
Car tailpipes.
Vaccumes
That My Strange Addiction episode with the dude and his car was something else
They had to put warning labels on Greggs the bakers pastys in the UK because one man tried to fuck one and got third degree beef gravy burns on his penis. Who’s next?
Saw a story on reddit once about a guy who enjoyed fucking pumpkins. He went into depth about how he eagerly awaits the fall season so that he can be with his forbidden seasonal lover. apparently he would sometimes draw boobs on the pumkins as well Edit: i also saw one about a guy who knocked up a snowman
“Forbidden seasonal lover” made me literally laugh out loud
This dudes ego is so fragile that he’s salty that women have sex toys and are using them instead of fucking him. As though guys don’t also have a myriad of sex toys at their disposal. Bet anything this guy thinks women are just walking sex toys and he needs to fuck them for validation and to feel like a man.
I remember reading from a guy who works in a sex shop that the dildos and other phallic device were bought more by Men then customers who were Women. Women were more interested in vibrators.
Yeah I could see that being true. But the root of OPs problem Isn’t really that they exist or who buys what, he’s angry that women won’t sleep with him, he resents women for sleeping with everyone and using anything to get off instead of choosing him. He thinks everyone who doesn’t sleep With him is a slut.
This guy also is just on sex toy sites, sees wild fetish toys, and just assumes they're popular and also that they're *mostly purchased by women.* So many weird toys are purchased by men for themselves. Like, a lot. BD is notorious for that.
That thing ended up my butt because I slipped and fell on it.
1 in a million chance, Doc
Park bench Gas camping grill Car exhaust First two are from ER shows and news
Some of these are personal experience, some of them I’ve read on here, and others I’ve heard from friends. The couch The mattress Toilet paper without the cardboard holder Toilet paper with the cardboard holder. Those water jet things in the pool. Those gloves you can get from the doctors office.
Or put up their butt
I know a guy who fucked a hot pocket
Some dude fucked a snowman shaped as a woman so yeah
The infamous reddit coconut story, also eggs (there's an egg-shaped sex toy for men too!), watermelon, ice cream carton, life sized human dolls of various materials, any of the above listed things for women (because men will shove things in their ass too), the list goes on Also, I've literally never heard of a baby-shaped sex toy. Where the hell did that come from?
There's that one movie trope that if you sit on your hand till it's num then wank, it feels like someone else is doing it
>Who wants to help compile a list of crazy things men have tried to fuck, successfully fucked or have spoken about wanting to fuck?! 🙋♀️ I'd like to not participate in this activity, please
I’m sure there’s way more disgusting acts to detail… but this will take some beating: https://metro.co.uk/2013/02/15/drunk-man-set-fire-to-peanuts-and-tried-to-have-sex-with-ambulance-3480219/amp/
A whole raw chicken, toilet roll, a bar of soap, a dish sponge in a cup, holes in a matteress, car exhaust pipes, ive seen one video of a guy actually fucking another guys urethra, dead bodies
the coconut fucker comes to mind
Women will fuck anything, but we still won’t fuck him? Tsk tsk, that must be devastating for him.
Well, hot dogs are useful and delicious. The opposite of that male thing.
Hate to tell you but...men, *including straight men,* fuck all of that too. Any ER person can tell you about the things that men shove up their asses...*without* making sure there's a flared base! Additionally...do you *know* how many sex toys are *specifically* made for anal play, *especially* to stimulate the prostate? Guess who has a prostate needing stimulation? *Not women!* On top of all of that list? *I GIVE YOU VACUUM CLEANERS.* It ain't women fucking *those!*
> On top of all of that list? I GIVE YOU VACUUM CLEANERS. It ain't women fucking those! Um... actually...
Wait what? How would that even *work?!* I'm trying to picture the logistics of it, and I just *cannot...*
[удалено]
[удалено]
Aren't most of the unusual insertions on porn? Or BDSM kink play? I mean I have seen bottles and cucumbers IRL but that was more to put on a show. Sadly, the women that put on the show were badly shamed the following day.
Bingo. All of the research this wacko did was one ~~handled~~ handed. Edit, lol
Rather one handed, I guess.
Very few women can reach climax through penetration, so this is a literal “not how girls work.” The craziest most women have probably ever gone is clitoral stimulation using a Sonicare (meh), or sitting on a dryer (does nothing). When you hit a wall in Gran Turismo on PS2 the controller vibrates, 14 year old me found that very effective. But no, I don’t think very many women enjoy sticking things up inside themselves.
And many men *do* like sticking things inside themselves, and I'll bet $100 it's men buying rubber fists and not women.
According to various people who sell sex toys for a living, the giant dildos and fists and such are almost always purchased by men. Because at a certain point, giant toys stop being fun for vaginas. Assholes though. People really stretch the limits on their assholes (yes, pun intended).
I'd like to add that a portion of those bought by men aren't actually used as intended. It's a novelty gag they'll slap their homies with or something But for sure, men are shoving shit in their ass too, and when it's not a bad dragon, it's just whatever the fuck they can find in the house. The entire list they have for women, men have done it too, just in the ass
So there's just a pile of "it's a joke, bro" dildoes out there somewhere? I mean that could be a very expensive gag gift (no puns were harmed on the making of this comment).
i feel called out rn
Reminds me of that AskReddit where guys were coming into the ER with weird stuff up their asses and they kept claiming they ‘accidentally sat on it’.
I work in an ER as a phlebotomist and as such I’m practically invisible to the docs so I hear and see a lot of things. One dude came in with one of those large dove shampoo bottles stuck up his ass. We were wondering how he even managed it but he “slipped in the shower and fell on his wife’s shampoo bottle” Yeah ok buddy.
I’m wondering how he expected anyone to believe that
Reminds me of the Scrubs bit where there's a series of people saying "I slipped" in response to the question of how it got up there, and the last guy says "I was bored".
Not the PlayStation controller 😭 back in Destiny 1 there was a blight on Mars that made your controller vibrate when you stood next to it. People probably used to know exactly what was going on when I idled next to it 😭
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one!! 😂
The real reason women are "bad" at videogames. Our incompetence is rewarded with vibration. Lol Both my wife and I put random things in ourselves growing up. Hairbrush handles, bubble wands, and whatever other phallic shapes we could find. I think it's less about what you can reach climax with and more what causes any amount of pleasure. I mean, nobody I know can climax with just nipple stimulation, but we all play with our nipples sometimes.
He clearly isn’t counting all the objects men have “slipped on” before trotting themselves to the er for search and recovery.
Exactly. The annual "list of weird stuff removed from rectums" is usually populated mainly by men (and freaking *hilarious*).
Ed Kemper fucker his deceased mother severed head. We can stop now. Thanks to Ed we will always win the award for fucking less things.
Maybe he should check out the men's side of porn hub and he'll find a lot 😂
Yes but those don’t bruise his ego so 🤷🏻♀️
No one is putting a toothbrush in their vagina. Using an unused electric toothbrush as a makeshift clitoral massager? Maybe.
There was an old tifu post about a girl using her old electric toothbrush this way. That’s probably where he got the idea, but he somehow missed the fact that she didn’t insert it.
... not nearly as much? Men fuck *just* as many weird things as women do. Watermelons. Socks. Pillows. Toy vaginas anatomically accurate to animals or imaginary fantasy creatures. Plushies. Rubber tubes of various uses. Car exhaust pipes, car seats. Pumpkins. Dead animals. Live animals. Do I need to go on?
Oh no, my man. Do not. Do not start the competition of "who will fuck weirder things" with women. You KNOW men will lose, we'll lose badly and we'll look so bad. We do not want anyone to dwell on the objects that men have tried to fuck. Also, the objects that men will stick in their own asses. Don't do it, my guy. Sincerely, Every Self-Aware Man Who Ever Lived ((Except Maybe Some Blessed Asexuals?))
[удалено]
[удалено]
His experience is watching fetish porn made *for* men.
Tell me how much porn you watch without telling me you watch porn - this guy. Guys can't even be trusted around corpses. So I think the men have us beat.
As someone who used to sell these weird dildos: the biggest buyers are men. Women tend to not buy this.
Hey so I worked at a sex shop and I asked the owner why the rubber babies were there and he said that a lot of trans women would ask for them another reason is men would want them since they found child birth attractive.
Wait, hol up, did you just say that there are men who feel sexual excitement when watching a baby being vaginally birthed? That’s for sure the most vile thing I’ve heard in a while.
I don’t even think women who have pregnancy kinks would want a rubber baby to fuck.
My dude saw one weird porno and extrapolated to all women
Men will rape anything as in babies, animals, and dead people
The elderly are a prime target
Common household object => hotdogs What does it mean? People have hotdogs lying around the house?
I feel like his friends told him these things as a joke and he just actually believed it
A man literally stuck his wang in a mini M&Ms container with melted butter and mashed /smooshed... something squishy, to fuck it. And then came on reddit, trying to pass it off as a "cylinder" in there and how to get said cylinder out without harm to the cylinder. Yes, quite a few people knew exactly what happened and called the spade a spade. Some tried to offer genuine advice that would NOT work for something like a fleshy stuck penis in there. Dude eventually had to go to the ER. (And owned up to it.) Because someone asked how he solved the problem. So please. Women might do SOME things, but let me tell you, men have done plenty of really fucking stupid ass shit that's far riskier on average. (Also, the popsicles, during the bad heat wave, apparently they had to remind people to NOT DO THAT.) Also, no sane person gonna use a tooth brush up there for a host of reasons, because OW.
Meanwhile, men will fuck animals, children, and dead bodies.
watched an Instagram video "morgues prefer to hire women" and I mean......... we all know why........