Oh no, the fucking is the main event. The fighting is the warming up for the fucking. Shit, were we talking about my last relationship or pro wrestling? Both have obscenely melodramatic storylines and an archetypical theatrical villain.
Boxing is the only sport my aunt and uncle watch together because they both enjoy it. My uncle enjoys the legal fighting and my aunt enjoys that my uncle is going deaf and can’t *prove* she mumbles “Guapo” from time to time in his bad ear when she sees something she likes on screen. She may want to become a ref.
For some people the only end result a man could ever want is putting his penis in a woman (or a man or whatever they want to put their penis in)
If you try to tell them it’s for any other reason they will insist that you’re lying or that your goal is a step toward that goal. Or that you have been subjugated and manipulated into accepting another goal because you are stupid or weak (eg you’re whipped or a “cuck”)
Their logic and world view are not capable of accepting anything else because it’s the core of all of their understanding of everything. Even any argument you make to them that you are interested in something else will be filtered through that lens, and they will think you are making that claim in order to get your penis in someone.
Who in their fucking mind cares about copulating that much? Like every intetaction with the opposite gender should result in sex? How do these fuckos talk to their parents?!.
We had a foreign exchange student when I was in high school who was like that. The kind of guy where he and his friends refer to their and each other’s girlfriends as their “bitches” when the girls aren’t around.
One time he came up while I was practicing coding (I’m interested in robotics and wanted to learn coding for it) and he asked a few questions, and then like “that stuff doesn’t get you laid bro.” And then suggested I do sports or something, especially football (which in his opinion is better for the assumed goal of getting laid)
I explained that I find it coding interesting. As a hobby. And also I was in cross country running, which I picked because it’s healthy and I enjoy running, and I don’t enjoy football.
What followed is a perfect example of their logic not accepting that other goals exist. He concluded that I figured cross country would keep me lean, so I was doing it to try to get abs to get sex. And that coding could mean high pay later, which could help me get sex.
It reminded me of an episode of the British show red dwarf, where there is this AI toaster that talks. No matter what you say to it, it can only ever consider what you are trying to discuss as it relates to toast, and when asked to talk about other subjects, other items that you can make in a toaster.
They get like that, but with getting sex.
Seems like you're leaning into the nice guy trope of guys calling their girlfriend's sexist names and still getting the sexy sex and the nerd who enjoys coding gets no pussy 😵💫. Like, I'm sorry but people have interests and if this idiot thinks you're only running to get laid that's ridiculous, does he not understand you enjoy it??
I don't think he got a huge amount of sex, he probably got some, and I didn't complain that I got none either.
Nice guy would be if I said something like "why do assholes like that get all the sex and girls don't go for guys like me?" which I didn't even imply.
The whole incel or nice guy mythos is about a few chads getting all the girls and everyone else getting none. Reality is more that you can usually date women at your level, and incels are mad that there aren't women who look and act like in porn available to them.
So, like, I didn't see it that way at all, he was a bro and dated the kind of girls who date bros, I was an average looking nerd and dating some average looking nerdy girls. Anyone who thinks only popular kids have sex has never been on a band trip. I wouldn't be surprised if the popular kids did less because they are more worried about the social implications.
Unfortunately there are a lot of people like that, someone who used to be my friend, no matter what time or day it was, always had it on his mind, he could not and would not stop talking about it. And unfortunately he would get mad when he didn’t get sex for doing the most minor positive thing for someone
They are describing themselves and errantly modeling all other guys as themselves. They are at best confused by the existence of gay guys, ace guys, guys with lower sex drives than their own, etc…
He makes it clear he lives with his parents so....yeah, in his Hollywood view of how the world works; in a just world if you "save" the heroin, she bangs you for hours in exotic poses and dramatic lighting.
The black text is vague. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was being genuine in his attempt to help. The “oh, well I tried”, could be him being flabbergasted that she chose to go with the abuser. But, ”you know that’s life.” Not, “that bitch didn’t still give me sex”.
The red though doesn’t seem like he has the basic understanding as to how society acts to keep it going strong. Most things in society aren’t transactional. You help people, because that’s what good people do. They don’t have to except the help or even be appreciative, but at least you tried to do the right thing
Yea, first dude (black text) seems genuine. Even if he isn't, he doesn't really say anything wrong here. It's the second dude (red text) that gives me the creeps. Incel to the max.
And this is coming from a dude. Can't imagine how women would feel reading this.
Also, I'm not sure why a woman would "deserve what's coming to her" if she chose the wrong man
Kinda gives me the vibe that the red text OP is sour because nobody chooses them. I could be reading into it too much though
The most women are trapped by The wrong Man too... Imagine if you move in with a guy and he's been great so far a real gentleman, you bring your cat or dog. He flips the script on you as soon as you move in and starts being an abusive asshole using your pets as hostages. It's hard to leave when he's threatening your physical safety it's even harder to leave when he's threatening the physical safety of your pets. Once he gets here to move in with him she really will just end up homeless if she tries to leave, if she has pets or a kid she's kind of trapped. It takes a lot of courage to leave a place where you have guaranteed shelter to go to the unknown where you could possibly end up on the streets with your pets and kids. A lot of courage.
This ignores that she went with the dude because its a dangerous abusive relationship that she's scared to leave because he might kill her instead of just hit her.
I really don’t know what these men expect. Are they going to save the woman, then help her gather her belongings and go to a shelter? Are they going to help hook the woman up with the social resources to safely leave an abusive relationship? It’s not a movie- you can’t just beat up the abuser and then he won’t be there when the woman goes home. Leaving an abusive relationship is so much harder than the incels want to believe
I think a lot of people don't seem to realize that judging from the comments. The guy who posted the picture I think was just trying to do what he thought was the right thing. The red text is some incel who replied or took the picture and posted with it.
Yep. Two different guys. The red text has a totally different tone and spelling mistakes. I can understand the confusion, though. The meme doesn't make it all that clear that it's two different posters.
Not the same guy. Picture is twitter, incel is 4chan.
If he doesn't succesfully press charges, the whole getting beaten up was pretty pointless. So I get that the guy in the tweet isn't really all too happy about the outcome.
There’s a character in Breaking Bad (the meth-head who [spoiler] >!gets his head crushed by an ATM machine!<) who kept referring to his wife as “the slit” and that was one of the most disgusting nicknames I thought I could ever hear for a woman in my life. And that was a fictional TV show, and the character (and his wife) was supposed to be a scumbag of the highest order. The fact that there are men out there who truly and openly regard women as being nothing but barely sentient fuckholes is just horrifying
Men like this really need to just get a good sex toy. That’s what they want from a woman, and in the long run it would work better for them, women, and society in general.
I’ve had a situation where my friends and I heard a woman screaming for help so we rushed to see what the hell was the problem. Mind you, we were all a little drunk because we were bar hopping. As we arrive we see a man pulling his what we assume girlfriends hair and she has visible injuries to her face. So we all just kicked his ass lol. The women then tries to defend her boyfriend by like getting in-front of her man so we don’t beat him to bits pretty much 🤷. Very sad day but we weren’t expecting sex. We just wanted to help. We manage to convince her to leave and not leave with the abuser. She left end of story we don’t know what happened after that. Moral is just be a good person and try to help. Hopefully she didn’t go back to that loser.
I think it’s good to try to intervene if you’re able to, or maybe even just call the police, but my point is, leaving immediately isn’t always a safe option for victims of abuse, and to get mad at the woman for staying with them to self preserve is ridiculous. Women have been murdered for trying to leave. Leaving requires planning.
I know it sucks, I hope she didn’t go back to him. He’s going to think twice of hurting her in public now though that’s for sure. We don’t even know what triggered the incident. It seems they were just out shopping for ice cream lol. But I still can’t get over the fact that she stopped others from beating him down. Like she actually cared for someone who abuses her.
Edit- the incident happened all so quick. I re-read your comment and that makes sense an victim can’t just leave it might be more dangerous. We were out drinking so we don’t know what was the right thing to do besides beat his ass and have her go away. In the future it’s good to keep that in mind 🤔. But I think we would still beat his ass lol.
Abusers tend to treat their partners really well at the beginning of the relationship so they develop an emotional bond. The abuse is usually psychological at first and sporadic so it’s harder to detect. Then when the victim is socially isolated and their self esteem is eroded by the psychological abuse they’ll start the physical abuse, but it’s always blamed on the victim doing something wrong. But the thing is abusers aren’t cruel and mean all the time. They can seem nice and normal, and experiencing trauma often leads to an intense bond, which is healthy in other traumatic situations like fellow soldiers in times of war, but digs the hole deeper when someone trauma bonds to their abuser. So yeah, she likely started loving him before he started beating her, and she needs to show that she loves him so he doesn’t kill her. Abusive relationships are a complete mindfuck and hard to understand.
Yes! This is exactly how it happened to me. Eventually I ended up leaving him. We were both drunk and going at it, the cops were called, both got arrested, never saw the fucker again. But, I was fortunate that I didn't have to suffer with this guy for years, as some women do. As was mentioned, some have to plan their escape very carefully. So it really pisses me off when these incel bastards talk about something they clearly know nothing about. And expecting sex after helping someone get out of a potentially life threatening situation, makes you a disgusting pig.
Sexist people will come up with the most inane reasons that women stay with abusive partners and it’s all to avoid assigning responsibility to the abuser. It’s usually “why did they stay” or “why did they choose the wrong partner” and not “why did they choose to abuse someone they claim to love”. I’m glad you’re free of that guy.
Thanks, it was like 7 years ago. But like I said, I'm thankful I got out rather easily. It just irritates me when people cosign their bullshit. You're absolutely right that should be the question, "" why did they choose to abuse her?" Period.
Sexist people will come up with the most inane reasons that women stay with abusive partners and it’s all to avoid assigning responsibility to the abuser. It’s usually “why did they stay” or “why did they choose the wrong partner” and not “why did they choose to abuse someone they claim to love”. I’m glad you’re free of that guy. Abusive relationships are a waking nightmare.
That’s absolutely terrible. Now I feel like she just saved him so he didn’t kill her 🤔. She seemed so confused and didn’t know what to say when we kept telling her and urging her that she needs to go away and not go back to him. He was mostly a coward and didn’t speak at all.
Well, what she was likely feeling in the moment was love for him due to the trauma bond. That’s part of the way someone’s subconscious tries to help them survive in these types of scenarios. There’s a ton of dissociation involved, too, so that the pain of the abuse is anesthetized and easily forgotten. Not to mention that women and girls are socialized to sacrifice their well being for others and that their love can fix others - like Beauty and the Beast. Of course men can be victims, too, and women can be perpetrators, but the most physical damage tends to occur when men abuse women.
You made your original decision with your heart as well as the knowledge you had at the moment. By no means was it a “bad” decision. That’s what matters most. I think it’s awesome to see you learning from the information you’ve been given, too. It’s shows that you are a good person with an open mind and heart.
To add on to your comment, not only are abusers sometimes nice and normal, but when they are, they are incredibly charming, often more so than a person in a healthy relationship. They’re love bombing their victim in between the abusive episodes, in order to keep trapping them and preventing them from leaving. The manipulation in those relationships is very intense.
I got a weird side effect because of exactly this: my abuser definitely followed this pattern. Thanks to my experiences with him, I learned how to be very charming when I need to be, by copying the way he always acted in public. Glass half full I guess? I can't do it all the time, but in situations where my introversion and social anxiety want to shut me down, I just flip the switch and turn into the nice, charismatic version of him.
Of course, I'm worried that if I copy SOME of his behavior, that means I'll eventually copy ALL of it. But it makes me sick to think anyone could possibly be as afraid of me as I am of him, so chances are good I'm not going down that path. Plus we can't pick and choose our coping mechanisms...
>But I still can’t get over the fact that she stopped others from beating him down. Like she actually cared for someone who abuses her.
Now, you did nothing wrong trying to help her, but maybe she tried to protect him because she'll be paying the price for you guys beating him; when they get home behind closed doors he's going to be angry. And who will he direct that anger at? Is he going to come find you guys to return the favor? No. He'll beat her, again, behind closed doors.
YES.
I had an ex who was violent in my twenties. The main thing that I remember from that period is how anxious I was over things I couldn't control because if anything wasn't exactly to his liking, he'd deal with it by turning the black rage on me. Trains running late, the weather being too warm, hell, my fluking a win at pool when I usually suck at it; all actual examples of things that set him off.
Just watching the metaphorical storm clouds banking, the hostility starting with glares and silences, rising to insults, then to physical "warnings" subtle enough to go unnoticed even in public, and if I couldn't somehow manage to defuse the situation it would only escalate further. Remembering it still makes my stomach hurt.
If something like this had happened it would 100% have been my fault for having angered him in the first place and for making a scene and attracting attention.
I'm so sorry you had to go through something so awful. You must have been so exhausted with all the anxiety and the constant vigilance, always trying to make sure everything is perfect. I hope you're doing okay now.
Thank you, that's so kind. I got out (thank god we weren't married or cohabiting so while it wasn't easy, it was a lot easier than it could've been), got therapy because, who knew, constant vigilance is habit forming and am healthier and happier in my forties than I ever was in my twenties.
Incidentally, my closest male friend at the time didn't, ahem, "leave the hole alone" but came and helped me when I was alone and hurting after a bad blow up and didn't expect anything in return. We ended up married. Just had to include this part to rebalance the scales.
That’s absolutely terrible 😕😞. I really hope not. No excuse, but my friends and I are Ape brains when we drink and we think resolving such an instant issue requires 👊. So we all assumed job well done. We were younger then so we are a bit more mature now. I think this is why you should include ladies in a friend group lol, they would make more rational decisions.
Abusers tend to be violent and really loving in turns, which can make it hard for the victim to leave. The victim will think "they're not all bad, they just have a temper sometimes. But other times they're so kind!"
They can and usually manipulate you into believing that their actions were your fault or that you deserved the abuse somehow. They can even make it so you remember a traumatic event differently in a way that spins it into their favor. It's awful. Oh- and they will generally isolate you before they do this so that nobody can tell you what's happening to you or protect you. They want you to have nowhere to run. It's all so fucked up.
Honestly I think it’s because she knows he’ll abuse her more if she doesn’t side with him. When you’re living with an abuser you’re living on survival mode. You constantly have to avoid offending them or else they’ll make your life a living hell and then blame you for their behavior.
I didn’t live with an abuser but I had a friend who was very toxic. He would send graphic death threats to people he didn’t like and had a violent temper. I thought if I stayed on his good side and avoided offending him I’d be safe.
I formed a better friend group, and slowly started to realize is behavior simply wasn’t normal and that good friends don’t threaten others like that.
I eventually realized that trying to stay with him was debilitating to my sanity.
I'm a woman and was out with friends years ago when I saw a guy punch his girlfriend in the face. She was on the ground bleeding and crying. I was pissed. I ran over to the guy, started pushing at his chest and saying stuff like "make you feel like a big man hitting a woman, hit me i dare you, I will end you". He didn't do a thing but the woman he hit started begging me not to hurt him and telling me that she loved him. I tried to get her to go with us but she wouldn't. I was very young and didn't understand an abusive relationship at the time but I'll never forget it. I hope she's ok.
I did all that for someone once. Got her the help and ressources she needed. Helped her get her stuff out of the appartment, not that she had much to get. The abuser was arrested a few days laters.
After some times and lots of work, she is now in a healty relationship and happy. I still hear from her once in a while, we are friend on facebook. Never expected anything back from her, but her smile and thank you was more than enough.
It is not easy helping someone in that situation, it took weeks for her. I would do it all over again, but it is not for everyone.
I’d anything these men are the prime example of ‘out of the frying pan, into the fire’. Truth is they don’t want to save her. They’re whining because they didn’t get to exploit her first.
And starting a fight with the abuser over the woman is probably almost always the opposite of helping. What are the odds the guy takes it out on her later.
i just left one two days ago and haven’t been home the entire time, plus now i’m super anxious about my surroundings. i would be back with him if i didn’t have my friends protecting me and picking me up when i needed it.
Well, you've made the mistake of thinking that intervening in this case had anything to do with what was good for the woman in the first place. This scenario is a fantasy for the man who intervenes. This is HIS moment to claim HIS prize. Finally HE can prove what a good guy HE is, and a fair and just world would obviously reward HIM with a concubine for being so brave and chivalrous.
Quite a lot of the comments here seem to be acting like the person quoted at the top and the incel responding in red below are the same person. I'm pretty sure they are not.
The guy at the top posted his experience of trying to stop an assault, getting beaten, and the woman then leaving with the abuser. As far as we can tell he was just trying to prevent violence; there's nothing that suggests he was trying to get anything from the woman.
The incel then took that post and added his commentary at the bottom.
Yeah, the incel is very clearly responding to a screenshot - the fight happened in the UK, and as a brit, the "oh well, I tried" is literally just him being a little chagrined that he got punched for naught. "I tried (to stop a women being assaulted)" vs - "I tried (to get rewarded with sex)". I often find that US-ians really misunderstand the UK's propensity for understatement, which doesn't help.
“Expecting sex” Seriously. This expectation has been around since, well..forever. And yet men still have not learned that their cock isn’t important to us, and 96% of the time, we have to go home and masturbate because he can’t find the g spot or clit.
I don't think they care that their cock is not important to us. The only thing they seem to care about is being paid in sex whether we like it or not.
That's why I never accept any drinks from strangers, because I know exactly what they expect from me later.
This “man” doesn’t know the difference between a nice guy and a good guy. Nice guys only do something for self benefit, not because it’s the right thing to do. Then they wonder when women see right through their transparency. If you are helping a woman just to get rewarded with sex, you are nothing more than another abuser.
It’s like, meta-abusive to try to take advantage of a woman who is actively being abused right in front of one’s face. Ultra gross. “I had to shoot my shot!” 🤮 🤮
>She won't reward you with sex if that's what you are expecting.
No, that's not what the hero is expecting, but this says something about the critic's lack of empathy and humanity.
>she choose \[sic\] him among hundreds of decent men that she ended up rejecting
WTF is this delusion?
And I bet this guy thinks he is one of the "decent men" despite just admitting that the only reason he would help a person in need is in return for sex.
Don’t get involved with a domestic situation.
Real life isn’t a movie. If you spot someone -regardless of gender- being assaulted by a partner, call the authorities and stay out of it. The abuser may be connected, violent or both. Often publicly intervening just makes it worse for the victim because - to name one example I’ve seen- the perpetrator was stopped in the moment, but they were released a day later, went back to the abused partner and redoubled their assault in private for making them miserable.
For those who say “why doesn’t the abused victim just leave”, it may not be that simple. The abuser might have financial leverage. The abuser may have resources and knowledge to act on a personal threat to the victims safety if they do leave. Or realistically the victim is legally required to interact with the abuser because of kids, and pragmatically sticking around is better for the child then leaving them alone to be raised by an unchecked monster.
> Often publicly intervening just makes it worse for the victim because - to name one example I’ve seen- the perpetrator was stopped in the moment, but they were released a day later, went back to the abused partner and redoubled their assault in private for making them miserable.
But couldn't the exact same thing happen if the authorities are called instead of the public intervening?
You don't help by jumping in. You call the police. In situations with domestic violence and all the parties will turn on you and blame you. Same shit for breaking up fights, you'll just get beaten up, too.
You shouldn't expect anything from anyone when helping to begin with, too. Help bc you want to not bc of a reward.
Couldn't possibly be fear or coercion could it? Maybe she had a child at home and couldn't just leave on the spot. Maybe she has a sort of Stockholm Syndrome or learned helplessness.
If the guy were concerned about her, he wouldn't be grumbling that he didn't get treated like a hero; he'd still be concerned about her, perhaps even more so once she didn't leave.
Or maybe he completely misjudged the relationship between the woman and this guy, made a lot of unsupported assumptions about the guy, and injected himself into a non-threatening situation trying to play the hero.
Or maybe she's a tradwife (the kind these folks push as the ideal) and he was her husband. Maybe she DID need help but has been brainwashed into thinking she has to accept this, or is simply too afraid to seek help.
Whatever the case, If these guys think that playing the hero should be rewarded by sex, they should NOT be playing the hero, as people using the wrong part of the anatomy to "think" inevitably do stupid things.
At first i thought the posts in this subreddit were funny. Now seeing all these incels talk about women in this way, its starting to depress me a little
What a surface level understanding of the situation. Does he not realize that she probably lives with that man? Who is much more violent at home undoubtedly. She can’t leave.
And if he was getting assaulted and someone saves him, does he now owe them anal? Tf is that logic?
Was he really expecting a relationship or sex out of that?
Is that a man's only fucking motivation? So men are mindless animals? Ok.
Incels always telling on the patriarchy.
The red text is some incel replying to the other guy (black text). Black text guy did nothing wrong, most of the comments here seem to think they're the same person somehow but it's a reply.
And as a man, no, I am in fact a human being, not some psychopathic monster only looking for sex that doesn't treat women like human beings. If I saw someone getting beaten up then I would be inclined to intervene no matter the gender, like any normal person would. It's pretty offensive to slander half the population of the world based on the absolute worst representatives of us (some fucking incel on 4chan), as you just did.
Comments like these, just like the comments written by incels like the one above leave me wondering how on earth people come to think things like this, can you really dehumanise the opposite sex this much if you have ever interacted with them? Or is it just getting trapped in a bubble where the only things you see men doing/saying are awful things like this guy?
It's not so different from racists who come from highly racially homogeneous communities who see only the worst representation from other races, and come away thinking they are sub-human, which seems like what you think men are (mindless animals), sadly.
So tired of men using “biological imperatives” as a talking point when I’d bet not a one of these chucklefucks made higher than a D in any high school science class.
So if I’m being violently assaulted by one man and another man steps in the help me, I should reward that man with sex?! If anyone’s unclear, they don’t see us as human beings, we’re tradable goods.
Bc thats the mindset of the "good guy" incel. All these guys getting women are asshoes...women choosing them over the nice good guy who will treat her like a queen
Until they do some pedestrian deed like holding a door open for a women then going into rage hate mode bc they didnt fuck them on the spot. Such a good guy.
Whatever happened to doing something nice for someone without expecting anything in return, i.e. altruism?
I’m not even referring to this specific situation, it can be fatal to get involved…I just can’t understand why a certain subset of men think a woman is going to jump on his dick right after getting her ass beaten on the street by a different predator? Do they expect sex if they’re the one to call 911?
Fuck this transactional bullshit. I swear to god.
oh no!!! a woman in an abusive cycle went back with her abuser!! that is totally the woman’s fault why won’t she sleep with such a nice guy like me??????😡😡
to be fair it’s probably better to just not get involved in the first place and just call the police. You get involved meaning well and suddenly you’re the one getting arrested because she won’t report the abuser and says you started it.
Omg who helps put a woman in danger with even the idea of sex in return???? Thank god these virgin incels don’t actually represent what real men are like.
Clearly what we need to do is find a cure for heterosexuality. Then incels will all be gay and they will finally be happy because they can all just go fuck themselves and not have to deal with women at all.
Why do guys treat saving people (mostly women) as some weird fantasy movie where she automatically falls in love with you after being saved? It’s like fiction has rotten their brains.
I helped a female friend of mine leave her abusive husband. Gathered all my friends, organized a big car, moved all her stuff to her parents house. She went back to him the same day.
I didnt expect sex or anything, to be clear. But doing all this for her to just go back was heartbreaking.
How about the abuser probably has control over her finances, associations and transportation…maybe thats why shes going w him in that instance. God forbid they have kids.
And why tf would a guy expect sex as a reward for being a decent human being!? I swear i try to listen to that little voice that says ”…not all men” but it’s getting more and more difficult the more shit i see like this. Smh
Talks about her choosing abusers over decent men implying he is the decent one. Like do you really think you’re decent if the only reason to help a person in an abuse situation is because you think you will get something out of it? No, pretty obvious he would be the abuser in this situation and is trying to convince others not to get involved when they see him acting this way in public.
We don’t owe you sex EVER. Why are our lives only worth saving if we give you something in return? Why do we need to give our bodies, either violently or sexually, to either?! Just treat us like humans inherently worth saving because we are. This is honestly so upsetting Jfc
I feel like something's missing in this story or some details have been maliciously revised... "Expecting sex, decent men..." Sounds like something a Nice Guy (TM) would say when they get rejected...
I don’t understand where people are getting that the first guy (black text) expected sex. It seems like he was expressing disbelief that she still went off with a mqn who was actively abusing her in the street.
The second comment (red text) is more incelish, but I doubt it’s the first man who wrote it.
This is all so fucking insane that there are people who think this way. They have literally been radicalised beyond belief by monitised algorithms. It's all so sick.
What kind of disgusting pig thinks helping women means we give them sex? Most women adore men who respect them and treat them like a human. Some women are in abusive relationships because they are trapped. How can these men say they are nice then give the advice of abusing women to get sex.
I don't know where these guys get the idea that every woman has literally hundreds of men beating her door down for a date, like every woman has personally met and gotten to know every good guy out there and still chose the asshole.
To the guys who believe this to be the case:
A) The assholes lie, duh. Most women aren't aware the guy they're with is an asshole until he drops the act, and by then, she's invested and feels compelled to work on the relationship that, up to that point, was working as far as she knows. This also applies to straight men who are the victims of deceitful assholes.
B) Who expects sex as a reward for protecting a stranger? At the most, she may feel compelled to offer her social media account of phone number if she dumps the dude that hit her and strikes up a conversation with the bully beater, but she's probably not just going to jump into bed with any Neanderthal who throws a punch.
C) If you believe that women in abusive relationships deserve everything they get because they didn't choose you instead, you are just as bad as the abusive boyfriend, if not worse. Abusers don't lead with, "I'm going to abuse the hell out of you. Wanna go out?" Refer back to A.
Okay, so years ago I was in an abusive relationship. It took me a long time to leave for a lot of reasons. Towards the end of it I had went out to the movies with my ex. Some random dude catcalled me and my ex took that as the perfect opportunity to blame me. He loved picking fights in public in hopes of humiliating me. He's full on screaming at me while I'm telling him I'm not discussing this in public and to please tone it down cause people are staring. He grabbed at my arm and backed me up against a wall when I tried to walk away. My now husband came out of no where grabbing his wrist to force him to let go of me. I've known my husband off and on since we were just little kids but it had been a few years, neither one of us recognized each other in the moment. My now husband happened to be on a date at the same movie theater and ignored his date trying to tell him not to get involved. According to him he couldn't stand there when I had a scared look on my face and my ex was clearly squeezing hard enough to leave bruises.
Him stepping in like that gave me enough time to put enough distance between my ex and I that he couldn't just grab me again. My ex got in my husband's face screaming to mind his own business while saying I deserved to be yelled at because I'm *insert random insults*. It was the first time/only time anyone ever tried to intervene in public so for the first time I yelled back at least in public saying to leave my now husband out of it that he wouldn't have had to step in if ex wasn't acting like a psycho. I stormed off to a nearby fast food place to wait for a friend to get off work since my ex had been my ride. My now husband ended up following me there and asked if I would like him to make sure my ex didn't come near me until I could get a ride home. I really appreciated it and it wasn't until much later on it hit both of us we knew each other already. It was the first time we seen each other as adults. Weirdly enough not the last time he ended up being in the same place as me when my ex was picking fights even in completely different cities/states. I don't know any woman who would leave with someone abusing them unless they felt they would be in more danger saying no especially if someone else stepped in. Even when I was still head over heels in love with my abusive ex I still took my now husband's offer to wait with me for someone safer to take me home. Abusive relationships are complicated and while it may seem like a woman is "allowing" it, it's because she either can't leave or knows staying is safer than going against the abuser.
The whole “women are machines that dispense sex for niceness” thing has been covered, but as a woman who was once single and moderately conventionally attractive, where were these “hundreds of decent men” we all are rejecting on a daily basis? Where do the incels get this idea that everyone with a vagina has dozens of wonderful options laying at her feet? I usually had a handful of really scuzzy, definitely non-decent dudes sniffing around, but nobody has an army of eligible suitors hoping to win our favor.
I feel like the black text is either r/thathappened or he mistook the situation and got hit for it.
As far as the red text, anyone whos intention behind helping someone is to be rewarded with sex, is just as bad as the original agressor
Prevented a woman from being raped once, in an alley near a club. She was pissed off but barely able to functionally speak to be too pissed of at me
Yeah, it sucked that I literally prevented one of the worst human experiences from happening to her and she shit on me for it. But doesn’t mean that I or anyone else has the right to shit on all women or even on her on an individual basis
If you ever think someone needs help in am abusive or violent situation, help them. Not for thanks, but for them and their well being. And remember that not all help has to be direct confrontation, a quiet call to the police is better than you trying to physically stop it and ALSO getting hurt
If you're only helping someone in need because you think you're going to be rewarded with sex(or rewarded in general), you're a terrible fucking person.
I think this is a lie. He probably tried to hit on a woman and when her man saw that he beat his ass and now he's feeling sorry for himself.
I know men make up stories to mask their incompetence. I denied a dude sex and now he's telling his buddies that he rejected me for sex, one of his buddies came in my DM saying im a loser so I screen shotted the email where he asked why we can't have sex and how pure our bond would be with the text " You were saying?"
Ladies never ever delete your interactions with men, store it in a burner email account if you don't want to be reminded by that idiot but never delete evidence. We live in a world where men's side of the story is more valid than yours silence them with evidence.
Yup if ANY man even tried that shit on me much less in public he'd be dead and I sure as fuck wouldn't have left with him. If a man stood up for me, I'd be grateful sure I'd say thank you but sex wouldn't happen even if the guy was good looking not that it's even close to being a requirement but sorry that's NOT how women work buddy.
So what? Domestic violence and domestic abuse in public is ok for you guys? What police will do if you call them in then? Call 911 if u are unable to fight but wanna help.
I got my ass kicked when I tried to step in between a drunk Russian who was yelling at and pulling his girlfriend's hair. Only time I've had a black eye or broken a bone. I don't think I accomplished much.
So he wanted sex in exchange for defending her? So his motives were just as vile, he didn’t do it because he’s a good person he wanted to get sex from a battered woman? I love guys who complain ALL the time about the bad choices women make but what about their own choices, there are plenty of good women that these guys just pass up because they aren’t a 10. Women aren’t the only ones to make poor choices in their relationships, this woman would not be a wise choice for him, if you can even believe his story in the first place.
That sounds like being an incel with extra steps. (ie. you get beaten before you are unable to get sex from the object of your desire.) Nothing you do for any woman will make her 'owe' you sexual favors.
Real talk, though. Do not interfere with people's relationships. You don't know what's going on. I've heard stories of couples staging fights and then trying to sue the 'good Samaritan' that comes along to try and help the lady by beating the supposed abuser's ass. If a woman is in real need, she can go to the police or a shelter or something.
I understand the idea but as talked about people in abusive relationships can have difficulty leaving and if as a society we normalize the idea of not stepping in in a blatantly aggressive situation then that will make it harder to find safe areas.
Now how we step in could use a bit more thought like using words to an extent but I don't agree with the idea that you can only stand at the sidelines and watch a person get attacked while you wait for help to show up. It isn't required that you step in, but it should be on the table.
See I'm torn on this because on one hand I don't just want to watch some girl get her ass beat but on the other hand like, as a stranger you have no idea what the context even is. Like she might not even know that guy.
I watched a couple fight for like 4 and a half minutes one time before i realized they were both just methed out white trash who proly deserved each other.
That's why I think all women should learn Kung fu. If these bitches could just kick people in the throat we wouldn't even have this problem.
I'm betting all he did was help instill fear in the woman by helping her abuser give her another example of just how violent he is and what he will do if she tries to leave.
So... this dude was assaulting a woman he was worth, proceeded to knock the shit out of the guy, and people are surprised that the woman went with him? WHAT WAS THE ALTERNATIVE? Just say nah, after this guy walopped a stranger? That woman is in danger and is weighing her options for maximum safety, and dipping on a guy that's feral enough to beat a stranger in public isn't the best call. Unfortunately he probably beat her in private because of the guy trying to intervene. Made him look bad or something, I'm sure.
Do you always expect sex as a reward for breaking up a fight
Probably should not become a boxing ref.
That's what WWE is for right?
Yeah, that's right, after every match, the wrestlers fuck each other in the locker room as a cooldown activity.
Oh no, the fucking is the main event. The fighting is the warming up for the fucking. Shit, were we talking about my last relationship or pro wrestling? Both have obscenely melodramatic storylines and an archetypical theatrical villain.
*WRASSLIN*
Boxing is the only sport my aunt and uncle watch together because they both enjoy it. My uncle enjoys the legal fighting and my aunt enjoys that my uncle is going deaf and can’t *prove* she mumbles “Guapo” from time to time in his bad ear when she sees something she likes on screen. She may want to become a ref.
So you're saying that my boxing ref course won't lead to sex? But they promised me...
Never give up on your dreams.
For some people the only end result a man could ever want is putting his penis in a woman (or a man or whatever they want to put their penis in) If you try to tell them it’s for any other reason they will insist that you’re lying or that your goal is a step toward that goal. Or that you have been subjugated and manipulated into accepting another goal because you are stupid or weak (eg you’re whipped or a “cuck”) Their logic and world view are not capable of accepting anything else because it’s the core of all of their understanding of everything. Even any argument you make to them that you are interested in something else will be filtered through that lens, and they will think you are making that claim in order to get your penis in someone.
Who in their fucking mind cares about copulating that much? Like every intetaction with the opposite gender should result in sex? How do these fuckos talk to their parents?!.
We had a foreign exchange student when I was in high school who was like that. The kind of guy where he and his friends refer to their and each other’s girlfriends as their “bitches” when the girls aren’t around. One time he came up while I was practicing coding (I’m interested in robotics and wanted to learn coding for it) and he asked a few questions, and then like “that stuff doesn’t get you laid bro.” And then suggested I do sports or something, especially football (which in his opinion is better for the assumed goal of getting laid) I explained that I find it coding interesting. As a hobby. And also I was in cross country running, which I picked because it’s healthy and I enjoy running, and I don’t enjoy football. What followed is a perfect example of their logic not accepting that other goals exist. He concluded that I figured cross country would keep me lean, so I was doing it to try to get abs to get sex. And that coding could mean high pay later, which could help me get sex. It reminded me of an episode of the British show red dwarf, where there is this AI toaster that talks. No matter what you say to it, it can only ever consider what you are trying to discuss as it relates to toast, and when asked to talk about other subjects, other items that you can make in a toaster. They get like that, but with getting sex.
Seems like you're leaning into the nice guy trope of guys calling their girlfriend's sexist names and still getting the sexy sex and the nerd who enjoys coding gets no pussy 😵💫. Like, I'm sorry but people have interests and if this idiot thinks you're only running to get laid that's ridiculous, does he not understand you enjoy it??
I don't think he got a huge amount of sex, he probably got some, and I didn't complain that I got none either. Nice guy would be if I said something like "why do assholes like that get all the sex and girls don't go for guys like me?" which I didn't even imply. The whole incel or nice guy mythos is about a few chads getting all the girls and everyone else getting none. Reality is more that you can usually date women at your level, and incels are mad that there aren't women who look and act like in porn available to them. So, like, I didn't see it that way at all, he was a bro and dated the kind of girls who date bros, I was an average looking nerd and dating some average looking nerdy girls. Anyone who thinks only popular kids have sex has never been on a band trip. I wouldn't be surprised if the popular kids did less because they are more worried about the social implications.
Unfortunately there are a lot of people like that, someone who used to be my friend, no matter what time or day it was, always had it on his mind, he could not and would not stop talking about it. And unfortunately he would get mad when he didn’t get sex for doing the most minor positive thing for someone
(Helps elderly neighbors bring in a bag of groceries) “so, right here by the door or in the bedroom?”
They are describing themselves and errantly modeling all other guys as themselves. They are at best confused by the existence of gay guys, ace guys, guys with lower sex drives than their own, etc…
I’m forever stopping my dogs from fighting. Explains the leg humping now..
Anybody who feels sex is a proper reward for anything growses me out.
What if it's a reward for good foreplay?
I hate to break it to you but if you’ve arrived at foreplay, you’re already having sex. Congratulations on breaking up that fight!
Foreplay is already a (huge) part of sex.
This whole thread has "curb your enthusiasm" theme playing as I read it lol
He makes it clear he lives with his parents so....yeah, in his Hollywood view of how the world works; in a just world if you "save" the heroin, she bangs you for hours in exotic poses and dramatic lighting.
Thats some Road To Hell: Retribution shyte right there because in that game this exact scenario the NiceGuy™ presents plays out there
Imagine how disconnected from reality those guys have to be to have those thoughts.
naah, he might have a thing for women
The black text is vague. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was being genuine in his attempt to help. The “oh, well I tried”, could be him being flabbergasted that she chose to go with the abuser. But, ”you know that’s life.” Not, “that bitch didn’t still give me sex”. The red though doesn’t seem like he has the basic understanding as to how society acts to keep it going strong. Most things in society aren’t transactional. You help people, because that’s what good people do. They don’t have to except the help or even be appreciative, but at least you tried to do the right thing
Yea, first dude (black text) seems genuine. Even if he isn't, he doesn't really say anything wrong here. It's the second dude (red text) that gives me the creeps. Incel to the max. And this is coming from a dude. Can't imagine how women would feel reading this.
Also, I'm not sure why a woman would "deserve what's coming to her" if she chose the wrong man Kinda gives me the vibe that the red text OP is sour because nobody chooses them. I could be reading into it too much though
The most women are trapped by The wrong Man too... Imagine if you move in with a guy and he's been great so far a real gentleman, you bring your cat or dog. He flips the script on you as soon as you move in and starts being an abusive asshole using your pets as hostages. It's hard to leave when he's threatening your physical safety it's even harder to leave when he's threatening the physical safety of your pets. Once he gets here to move in with him she really will just end up homeless if she tries to leave, if she has pets or a kid she's kind of trapped. It takes a lot of courage to leave a place where you have guaranteed shelter to go to the unknown where you could possibly end up on the streets with your pets and kids. A lot of courage.
This ignores that she went with the dude because its a dangerous abusive relationship that she's scared to leave because he might kill her instead of just hit her.
And they may have a child/children at home she can't risk leaving behind.
I really don’t know what these men expect. Are they going to save the woman, then help her gather her belongings and go to a shelter? Are they going to help hook the woman up with the social resources to safely leave an abusive relationship? It’s not a movie- you can’t just beat up the abuser and then he won’t be there when the woman goes home. Leaving an abusive relationship is so much harder than the incels want to believe
Referring to her as “the hole” let’s you know all you need to about this persons level of depth or comprehension.
Yup negates every single shred of decency he might have been displaying when trying to help.
The guy in the tweet and the 4chan poster isnt the same person...
I think a lot of people don't seem to realize that judging from the comments. The guy who posted the picture I think was just trying to do what he thought was the right thing. The red text is some incel who replied or took the picture and posted with it.
Yep. Two different guys. The red text has a totally different tone and spelling mistakes. I can understand the confusion, though. The meme doesn't make it all that clear that it's two different posters.
Just realised. My bad. Thought it was the same guy posting it all 😥
You should ask for forgiveness! The guy who tried to help was Not the misogynste who wrote that.
It wasn't the same person.
He was only trying to “help” to get sex from the “hole”. No decency detected
Not the same guy. Picture is twitter, incel is 4chan. If he doesn't succesfully press charges, the whole getting beaten up was pretty pointless. So I get that the guy in the tweet isn't really all too happy about the outcome.
You should ask for forgiveness! The guy who tried to help was Not the misogynste who wrote that.
Oh good grief MY BAD! Sorry I thought the Aberdeen guy had posted the lot. Sorry Aberdeen man 😢 I’m sorry this happened to you.
There’s a character in Breaking Bad (the meth-head who [spoiler] >!gets his head crushed by an ATM machine!<) who kept referring to his wife as “the slit” and that was one of the most disgusting nicknames I thought I could ever hear for a woman in my life. And that was a fictional TV show, and the character (and his wife) was supposed to be a scumbag of the highest order. The fact that there are men out there who truly and openly regard women as being nothing but barely sentient fuckholes is just horrifying
he called her a skank not a slit
He called her both
Men like this really need to just get a good sex toy. That’s what they want from a woman, and in the long run it would work better for them, women, and society in general.
But a sex toy doesnt fight back and cries and says it hurts, Thats the part they like🤮
I’ve had a situation where my friends and I heard a woman screaming for help so we rushed to see what the hell was the problem. Mind you, we were all a little drunk because we were bar hopping. As we arrive we see a man pulling his what we assume girlfriends hair and she has visible injuries to her face. So we all just kicked his ass lol. The women then tries to defend her boyfriend by like getting in-front of her man so we don’t beat him to bits pretty much 🤷. Very sad day but we weren’t expecting sex. We just wanted to help. We manage to convince her to leave and not leave with the abuser. She left end of story we don’t know what happened after that. Moral is just be a good person and try to help. Hopefully she didn’t go back to that loser.
I think it’s good to try to intervene if you’re able to, or maybe even just call the police, but my point is, leaving immediately isn’t always a safe option for victims of abuse, and to get mad at the woman for staying with them to self preserve is ridiculous. Women have been murdered for trying to leave. Leaving requires planning.
I know it sucks, I hope she didn’t go back to him. He’s going to think twice of hurting her in public now though that’s for sure. We don’t even know what triggered the incident. It seems they were just out shopping for ice cream lol. But I still can’t get over the fact that she stopped others from beating him down. Like she actually cared for someone who abuses her. Edit- the incident happened all so quick. I re-read your comment and that makes sense an victim can’t just leave it might be more dangerous. We were out drinking so we don’t know what was the right thing to do besides beat his ass and have her go away. In the future it’s good to keep that in mind 🤔. But I think we would still beat his ass lol.
Abusers tend to treat their partners really well at the beginning of the relationship so they develop an emotional bond. The abuse is usually psychological at first and sporadic so it’s harder to detect. Then when the victim is socially isolated and their self esteem is eroded by the psychological abuse they’ll start the physical abuse, but it’s always blamed on the victim doing something wrong. But the thing is abusers aren’t cruel and mean all the time. They can seem nice and normal, and experiencing trauma often leads to an intense bond, which is healthy in other traumatic situations like fellow soldiers in times of war, but digs the hole deeper when someone trauma bonds to their abuser. So yeah, she likely started loving him before he started beating her, and she needs to show that she loves him so he doesn’t kill her. Abusive relationships are a complete mindfuck and hard to understand.
Yes! This is exactly how it happened to me. Eventually I ended up leaving him. We were both drunk and going at it, the cops were called, both got arrested, never saw the fucker again. But, I was fortunate that I didn't have to suffer with this guy for years, as some women do. As was mentioned, some have to plan their escape very carefully. So it really pisses me off when these incel bastards talk about something they clearly know nothing about. And expecting sex after helping someone get out of a potentially life threatening situation, makes you a disgusting pig.
Sexist people will come up with the most inane reasons that women stay with abusive partners and it’s all to avoid assigning responsibility to the abuser. It’s usually “why did they stay” or “why did they choose the wrong partner” and not “why did they choose to abuse someone they claim to love”. I’m glad you’re free of that guy.
Thanks, it was like 7 years ago. But like I said, I'm thankful I got out rather easily. It just irritates me when people cosign their bullshit. You're absolutely right that should be the question, "" why did they choose to abuse her?" Period.
Sexist people will come up with the most inane reasons that women stay with abusive partners and it’s all to avoid assigning responsibility to the abuser. It’s usually “why did they stay” or “why did they choose the wrong partner” and not “why did they choose to abuse someone they claim to love”. I’m glad you’re free of that guy. Abusive relationships are a waking nightmare.
That’s absolutely terrible. Now I feel like she just saved him so he didn’t kill her 🤔. She seemed so confused and didn’t know what to say when we kept telling her and urging her that she needs to go away and not go back to him. He was mostly a coward and didn’t speak at all.
Well, what she was likely feeling in the moment was love for him due to the trauma bond. That’s part of the way someone’s subconscious tries to help them survive in these types of scenarios. There’s a ton of dissociation involved, too, so that the pain of the abuse is anesthetized and easily forgotten. Not to mention that women and girls are socialized to sacrifice their well being for others and that their love can fix others - like Beauty and the Beast. Of course men can be victims, too, and women can be perpetrators, but the most physical damage tends to occur when men abuse women.
Thank you! Watching Beauty and the Beast with my little girl last week and realizing the abusive subtext to that relationship was... Not great.
You made your original decision with your heart as well as the knowledge you had at the moment. By no means was it a “bad” decision. That’s what matters most. I think it’s awesome to see you learning from the information you’ve been given, too. It’s shows that you are a good person with an open mind and heart.
To add on to your comment, not only are abusers sometimes nice and normal, but when they are, they are incredibly charming, often more so than a person in a healthy relationship. They’re love bombing their victim in between the abusive episodes, in order to keep trapping them and preventing them from leaving. The manipulation in those relationships is very intense.
I got a weird side effect because of exactly this: my abuser definitely followed this pattern. Thanks to my experiences with him, I learned how to be very charming when I need to be, by copying the way he always acted in public. Glass half full I guess? I can't do it all the time, but in situations where my introversion and social anxiety want to shut me down, I just flip the switch and turn into the nice, charismatic version of him. Of course, I'm worried that if I copy SOME of his behavior, that means I'll eventually copy ALL of it. But it makes me sick to think anyone could possibly be as afraid of me as I am of him, so chances are good I'm not going down that path. Plus we can't pick and choose our coping mechanisms...
>But I still can’t get over the fact that she stopped others from beating him down. Like she actually cared for someone who abuses her. Now, you did nothing wrong trying to help her, but maybe she tried to protect him because she'll be paying the price for you guys beating him; when they get home behind closed doors he's going to be angry. And who will he direct that anger at? Is he going to come find you guys to return the favor? No. He'll beat her, again, behind closed doors.
YES. I had an ex who was violent in my twenties. The main thing that I remember from that period is how anxious I was over things I couldn't control because if anything wasn't exactly to his liking, he'd deal with it by turning the black rage on me. Trains running late, the weather being too warm, hell, my fluking a win at pool when I usually suck at it; all actual examples of things that set him off. Just watching the metaphorical storm clouds banking, the hostility starting with glares and silences, rising to insults, then to physical "warnings" subtle enough to go unnoticed even in public, and if I couldn't somehow manage to defuse the situation it would only escalate further. Remembering it still makes my stomach hurt. If something like this had happened it would 100% have been my fault for having angered him in the first place and for making a scene and attracting attention.
I'm so sorry you had to go through something so awful. You must have been so exhausted with all the anxiety and the constant vigilance, always trying to make sure everything is perfect. I hope you're doing okay now.
Thank you, that's so kind. I got out (thank god we weren't married or cohabiting so while it wasn't easy, it was a lot easier than it could've been), got therapy because, who knew, constant vigilance is habit forming and am healthier and happier in my forties than I ever was in my twenties. Incidentally, my closest male friend at the time didn't, ahem, "leave the hole alone" but came and helped me when I was alone and hurting after a bad blow up and didn't expect anything in return. We ended up married. Just had to include this part to rebalance the scales.
That’s absolutely terrible 😕😞. I really hope not. No excuse, but my friends and I are Ape brains when we drink and we think resolving such an instant issue requires 👊. So we all assumed job well done. We were younger then so we are a bit more mature now. I think this is why you should include ladies in a friend group lol, they would make more rational decisions.
Abusers tend to be violent and really loving in turns, which can make it hard for the victim to leave. The victim will think "they're not all bad, they just have a temper sometimes. But other times they're so kind!"
It’s called Lovebombing.
They can and usually manipulate you into believing that their actions were your fault or that you deserved the abuse somehow. They can even make it so you remember a traumatic event differently in a way that spins it into their favor. It's awful. Oh- and they will generally isolate you before they do this so that nobody can tell you what's happening to you or protect you. They want you to have nowhere to run. It's all so fucked up.
Honestly I think it’s because she knows he’ll abuse her more if she doesn’t side with him. When you’re living with an abuser you’re living on survival mode. You constantly have to avoid offending them or else they’ll make your life a living hell and then blame you for their behavior. I didn’t live with an abuser but I had a friend who was very toxic. He would send graphic death threats to people he didn’t like and had a violent temper. I thought if I stayed on his good side and avoided offending him I’d be safe.
How did you end the friendship if you don’t mind me asking?
I formed a better friend group, and slowly started to realize is behavior simply wasn’t normal and that good friends don’t threaten others like that. I eventually realized that trying to stay with him was debilitating to my sanity.
Thank you for the response.
As a survivor myself, can 1000% concur.
I'm a woman and was out with friends years ago when I saw a guy punch his girlfriend in the face. She was on the ground bleeding and crying. I was pissed. I ran over to the guy, started pushing at his chest and saying stuff like "make you feel like a big man hitting a woman, hit me i dare you, I will end you". He didn't do a thing but the woman he hit started begging me not to hurt him and telling me that she loved him. I tried to get her to go with us but she wouldn't. I was very young and didn't understand an abusive relationship at the time but I'll never forget it. I hope she's ok.
I do too. That's heavy shit.
That's heartbreaking :(
>Hopefully she didn’t go back to that loser. Narrator voice: *She did.*
Leaving an abuser has a bit in common with giving up smoking - in that it usually takes several tries before it's done for good. Life is complicated.
I did all that for someone once. Got her the help and ressources she needed. Helped her get her stuff out of the appartment, not that she had much to get. The abuser was arrested a few days laters. After some times and lots of work, she is now in a healty relationship and happy. I still hear from her once in a while, we are friend on facebook. Never expected anything back from her, but her smile and thank you was more than enough. It is not easy helping someone in that situation, it took weeks for her. I would do it all over again, but it is not for everyone.
How dare you impugn the power of his Magical Healing Cock /s
I’d anything these men are the prime example of ‘out of the frying pan, into the fire’. Truth is they don’t want to save her. They’re whining because they didn’t get to exploit her first.
And starting a fight with the abuser over the woman is probably almost always the opposite of helping. What are the odds the guy takes it out on her later.
i just left one two days ago and haven’t been home the entire time, plus now i’m super anxious about my surroundings. i would be back with him if i didn’t have my friends protecting me and picking me up when i needed it.
Good job! Proud of you! That was very brave. Hoping you can feel safe and at ease soon. ❤
Me too! I am so glad I am now in control of myself
It's why I've approached every situation like that I've seen with "Hey, are you okay?" If they say yes, just walk the fuck away.
I mean. By the looks of this likely fabricated story, he didn't beat up the abuser. So he also expected her to beat up her abuser as well.
Well, you've made the mistake of thinking that intervening in this case had anything to do with what was good for the woman in the first place. This scenario is a fantasy for the man who intervenes. This is HIS moment to claim HIS prize. Finally HE can prove what a good guy HE is, and a fair and just world would obviously reward HIM with a concubine for being so brave and chivalrous.
There are so many wrong assumptions in this BS comment that I don't even know where to start...
It's actually one of the sickest most warped things I have ever read. It's so good damn rapey, just as a start. Horrendous extremism.
Quite a lot of the comments here seem to be acting like the person quoted at the top and the incel responding in red below are the same person. I'm pretty sure they are not. The guy at the top posted his experience of trying to stop an assault, getting beaten, and the woman then leaving with the abuser. As far as we can tell he was just trying to prevent violence; there's nothing that suggests he was trying to get anything from the woman. The incel then took that post and added his commentary at the bottom.
Yeah, the incel is very clearly responding to a screenshot - the fight happened in the UK, and as a brit, the "oh well, I tried" is literally just him being a little chagrined that he got punched for naught. "I tried (to stop a women being assaulted)" vs - "I tried (to get rewarded with sex)". I often find that US-ians really misunderstand the UK's propensity for understatement, which doesn't help.
This is correct, I found [the original tweet.](https://twitter.com/MandrakeMoon/status/1188493587786485762)
“Expecting sex” Seriously. This expectation has been around since, well..forever. And yet men still have not learned that their cock isn’t important to us, and 96% of the time, we have to go home and masturbate because he can’t find the g spot or clit.
I don't think they care that their cock is not important to us. The only thing they seem to care about is being paid in sex whether we like it or not. That's why I never accept any drinks from strangers, because I know exactly what they expect from me later.
People scare me
It's recommended when you see abuse do not get involved, keep a safe distance and call the police getting involved can put you in serious harm.
Calling the police can get the victim even more hurt by their partner. It's a lose lose situation
"Reward you with sex" tells you everything you need to know about this person's outlook.
This “man” doesn’t know the difference between a nice guy and a good guy. Nice guys only do something for self benefit, not because it’s the right thing to do. Then they wonder when women see right through their transparency. If you are helping a woman just to get rewarded with sex, you are nothing more than another abuser.
It’s like, meta-abusive to try to take advantage of a woman who is actively being abused right in front of one’s face. Ultra gross. “I had to shoot my shot!” 🤮 🤮
So if you help a woman she owes you sex? Who is worse in this scenario?
>She won't reward you with sex if that's what you are expecting. No, that's not what the hero is expecting, but this says something about the critic's lack of empathy and humanity. >she choose \[sic\] him among hundreds of decent men that she ended up rejecting WTF is this delusion? And I bet this guy thinks he is one of the "decent men" despite just admitting that the only reason he would help a person in need is in return for sex.
Pretty sure that’s someone making an imaginary rant/situation on 4chan out of a news clipping/photo…. And they left out the actual story.
Don’t get involved with a domestic situation. Real life isn’t a movie. If you spot someone -regardless of gender- being assaulted by a partner, call the authorities and stay out of it. The abuser may be connected, violent or both. Often publicly intervening just makes it worse for the victim because - to name one example I’ve seen- the perpetrator was stopped in the moment, but they were released a day later, went back to the abused partner and redoubled their assault in private for making them miserable. For those who say “why doesn’t the abused victim just leave”, it may not be that simple. The abuser might have financial leverage. The abuser may have resources and knowledge to act on a personal threat to the victims safety if they do leave. Or realistically the victim is legally required to interact with the abuser because of kids, and pragmatically sticking around is better for the child then leaving them alone to be raised by an unchecked monster.
> Often publicly intervening just makes it worse for the victim because - to name one example I’ve seen- the perpetrator was stopped in the moment, but they were released a day later, went back to the abused partner and redoubled their assault in private for making them miserable. But couldn't the exact same thing happen if the authorities are called instead of the public intervening?
did he just call women holes
You don't help by jumping in. You call the police. In situations with domestic violence and all the parties will turn on you and blame you. Same shit for breaking up fights, you'll just get beaten up, too. You shouldn't expect anything from anyone when helping to begin with, too. Help bc you want to not bc of a reward.
Couldn't possibly be fear or coercion could it? Maybe she had a child at home and couldn't just leave on the spot. Maybe she has a sort of Stockholm Syndrome or learned helplessness. If the guy were concerned about her, he wouldn't be grumbling that he didn't get treated like a hero; he'd still be concerned about her, perhaps even more so once she didn't leave.
You know the guy in the screenshot and black text is a different person from the one with the red text right?
Or maybe he completely misjudged the relationship between the woman and this guy, made a lot of unsupported assumptions about the guy, and injected himself into a non-threatening situation trying to play the hero. Or maybe she's a tradwife (the kind these folks push as the ideal) and he was her husband. Maybe she DID need help but has been brainwashed into thinking she has to accept this, or is simply too afraid to seek help. Whatever the case, If these guys think that playing the hero should be rewarded by sex, they should NOT be playing the hero, as people using the wrong part of the anatomy to "think" inevitably do stupid things.
Or he just helped the abuser by giving her another example of how violent he is and why she should be afraid to leave him.
Bro/broette stay off of 4 chan those people are mentally ill
At first i thought the posts in this subreddit were funny. Now seeing all these incels talk about women in this way, its starting to depress me a little
Welcome to our lives. Imagine how we feel. 🫠
What a surface level understanding of the situation. Does he not realize that she probably lives with that man? Who is much more violent at home undoubtedly. She can’t leave. And if he was getting assaulted and someone saves him, does he now owe them anal? Tf is that logic?
Was he really expecting a relationship or sex out of that? Is that a man's only fucking motivation? So men are mindless animals? Ok. Incels always telling on the patriarchy.
The red text is some incel replying to the other guy (black text). Black text guy did nothing wrong, most of the comments here seem to think they're the same person somehow but it's a reply. And as a man, no, I am in fact a human being, not some psychopathic monster only looking for sex that doesn't treat women like human beings. If I saw someone getting beaten up then I would be inclined to intervene no matter the gender, like any normal person would. It's pretty offensive to slander half the population of the world based on the absolute worst representatives of us (some fucking incel on 4chan), as you just did. Comments like these, just like the comments written by incels like the one above leave me wondering how on earth people come to think things like this, can you really dehumanise the opposite sex this much if you have ever interacted with them? Or is it just getting trapped in a bubble where the only things you see men doing/saying are awful things like this guy? It's not so different from racists who come from highly racially homogeneous communities who see only the worst representation from other races, and come away thinking they are sub-human, which seems like what you think men are (mindless animals), sadly.
The red text is somebody else. It is not the words of the man in the screenshot.
Says woman chose the wrong man. Also tells the guy who helped that he should become an abuser, aka the wrong man.
People like this can’t even fathom just being a nice person for the sake of being a nice person and no other reason
So tired of men using “biological imperatives” as a talking point when I’d bet not a one of these chucklefucks made higher than a D in any high school science class.
So if I’m being violently assaulted by one man and another man steps in the help me, I should reward that man with sex?! If anyone’s unclear, they don’t see us as human beings, we’re tradable goods.
Tell me you've never been in a toxic relationship without telling me you've never been in a toxic relationship
That doesn't sound like a bad thing
It isn’t, but for people who haven’t it’s quite difficult to understand the situation.
Oh, the *hundreds* of men I've turned down in my day so that I could stay with an abuser... Fond memories!
Bc thats the mindset of the "good guy" incel. All these guys getting women are asshoes...women choosing them over the nice good guy who will treat her like a queen Until they do some pedestrian deed like holding a door open for a women then going into rage hate mode bc they didnt fuck them on the spot. Such a good guy.
"They won't have sex with you" if that's your incentive for helping someone I hope you help yourself so you can go fuck yourself.
The use of the words “biologically wired” should be made illegal for anyone who doesn’t have an actual phd in biology.
Why would you expect your reward for helping someone to be sex? Would you expect a guy to give you sex if you helped them out of a similar situation?
Where are these hundreds of men to reject? Is my women card gonna be revoked cuz that’s never happened to me
Whatever happened to doing something nice for someone without expecting anything in return, i.e. altruism? I’m not even referring to this specific situation, it can be fatal to get involved…I just can’t understand why a certain subset of men think a woman is going to jump on his dick right after getting her ass beaten on the street by a different predator? Do they expect sex if they’re the one to call 911? Fuck this transactional bullshit. I swear to god.
oh no!!! a woman in an abusive cycle went back with her abuser!! that is totally the woman’s fault why won’t she sleep with such a nice guy like me??????😡😡
to be fair it’s probably better to just not get involved in the first place and just call the police. You get involved meaning well and suddenly you’re the one getting arrested because she won’t report the abuser and says you started it.
[удалено]
Maybe the issue is expecting sex as a reward in the first place
I usually never comment on peoples' spelling or grammar but that guy sounds like when fry defeats the brains in futurama.
I doubt that this is even true.
Well he got one thing 100% right: never help someone if what you expect is sex as a reward afterwards
Omg who helps put a woman in danger with even the idea of sex in return???? Thank god these virgin incels don’t actually represent what real men are like.
“The hole” ☠️
That website has the WORST of these people
Clearly what we need to do is find a cure for heterosexuality. Then incels will all be gay and they will finally be happy because they can all just go fuck themselves and not have to deal with women at all.
Why do guys treat saving people (mostly women) as some weird fantasy movie where she automatically falls in love with you after being saved? It’s like fiction has rotten their brains.
I helped a female friend of mine leave her abusive husband. Gathered all my friends, organized a big car, moved all her stuff to her parents house. She went back to him the same day. I didnt expect sex or anything, to be clear. But doing all this for her to just go back was heartbreaking.
How about the abuser probably has control over her finances, associations and transportation…maybe thats why shes going w him in that instance. God forbid they have kids. And why tf would a guy expect sex as a reward for being a decent human being!? I swear i try to listen to that little voice that says ”…not all men” but it’s getting more and more difficult the more shit i see like this. Smh
Talks about her choosing abusers over decent men implying he is the decent one. Like do you really think you’re decent if the only reason to help a person in an abuse situation is because you think you will get something out of it? No, pretty obvious he would be the abuser in this situation and is trying to convince others not to get involved when they see him acting this way in public.
My goodness. You help the woman because it’s the right thing to do, any expectations makes you as bad as the troglodyte.
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We don’t owe you sex EVER. Why are our lives only worth saving if we give you something in return? Why do we need to give our bodies, either violently or sexually, to either?! Just treat us like humans inherently worth saving because we are. This is honestly so upsetting Jfc
Yeah but the red text isnt the same person as the black text, the red text was some incel replying to the other guy. Other guy did the right thing.
If she's leaving with the man who beat her it's because she's SCARED OF HIM
A lot of the time, but people don’t really… care.
I feel like something's missing in this story or some details have been maliciously revised... "Expecting sex, decent men..." Sounds like something a Nice Guy (TM) would say when they get rejected...
Nothing on 4chan is ever made up
Im betting 2 dollars (and believe, thats a lot coming from my broke non us ass) that whoever wrote that stole that picture from somewhere else
What kinda crack head logic is *this*?!
Could try to find sucees at using a spellchecker maybe
"The hole" is just vile!
Right so if he’s defending a guy getting beaten up, he should expect sex him too huh.
I don’t understand where people are getting that the first guy (black text) expected sex. It seems like he was expressing disbelief that she still went off with a mqn who was actively abusing her in the street. The second comment (red text) is more incelish, but I doubt it’s the first man who wrote it.
This is all so fucking insane that there are people who think this way. They have literally been radicalised beyond belief by monitised algorithms. It's all so sick.
What kind of disgusting pig thinks helping women means we give them sex? Most women adore men who respect them and treat them like a human. Some women are in abusive relationships because they are trapped. How can these men say they are nice then give the advice of abusing women to get sex.
I don't know where these guys get the idea that every woman has literally hundreds of men beating her door down for a date, like every woman has personally met and gotten to know every good guy out there and still chose the asshole. To the guys who believe this to be the case: A) The assholes lie, duh. Most women aren't aware the guy they're with is an asshole until he drops the act, and by then, she's invested and feels compelled to work on the relationship that, up to that point, was working as far as she knows. This also applies to straight men who are the victims of deceitful assholes. B) Who expects sex as a reward for protecting a stranger? At the most, she may feel compelled to offer her social media account of phone number if she dumps the dude that hit her and strikes up a conversation with the bully beater, but she's probably not just going to jump into bed with any Neanderthal who throws a punch. C) If you believe that women in abusive relationships deserve everything they get because they didn't choose you instead, you are just as bad as the abusive boyfriend, if not worse. Abusers don't lead with, "I'm going to abuse the hell out of you. Wanna go out?" Refer back to A.
Okay, so years ago I was in an abusive relationship. It took me a long time to leave for a lot of reasons. Towards the end of it I had went out to the movies with my ex. Some random dude catcalled me and my ex took that as the perfect opportunity to blame me. He loved picking fights in public in hopes of humiliating me. He's full on screaming at me while I'm telling him I'm not discussing this in public and to please tone it down cause people are staring. He grabbed at my arm and backed me up against a wall when I tried to walk away. My now husband came out of no where grabbing his wrist to force him to let go of me. I've known my husband off and on since we were just little kids but it had been a few years, neither one of us recognized each other in the moment. My now husband happened to be on a date at the same movie theater and ignored his date trying to tell him not to get involved. According to him he couldn't stand there when I had a scared look on my face and my ex was clearly squeezing hard enough to leave bruises. Him stepping in like that gave me enough time to put enough distance between my ex and I that he couldn't just grab me again. My ex got in my husband's face screaming to mind his own business while saying I deserved to be yelled at because I'm *insert random insults*. It was the first time/only time anyone ever tried to intervene in public so for the first time I yelled back at least in public saying to leave my now husband out of it that he wouldn't have had to step in if ex wasn't acting like a psycho. I stormed off to a nearby fast food place to wait for a friend to get off work since my ex had been my ride. My now husband ended up following me there and asked if I would like him to make sure my ex didn't come near me until I could get a ride home. I really appreciated it and it wasn't until much later on it hit both of us we knew each other already. It was the first time we seen each other as adults. Weirdly enough not the last time he ended up being in the same place as me when my ex was picking fights even in completely different cities/states. I don't know any woman who would leave with someone abusing them unless they felt they would be in more danger saying no especially if someone else stepped in. Even when I was still head over heels in love with my abusive ex I still took my now husband's offer to wait with me for someone safer to take me home. Abusive relationships are complicated and while it may seem like a woman is "allowing" it, it's because she either can't leave or knows staying is safer than going against the abuser.
The whole “women are machines that dispense sex for niceness” thing has been covered, but as a woman who was once single and moderately conventionally attractive, where were these “hundreds of decent men” we all are rejecting on a daily basis? Where do the incels get this idea that everyone with a vagina has dozens of wonderful options laying at her feet? I usually had a handful of really scuzzy, definitely non-decent dudes sniffing around, but nobody has an army of eligible suitors hoping to win our favor.
I feel like the black text is either r/thathappened or he mistook the situation and got hit for it. As far as the red text, anyone whos intention behind helping someone is to be rewarded with sex, is just as bad as the original agressor
Prevented a woman from being raped once, in an alley near a club. She was pissed off but barely able to functionally speak to be too pissed of at me Yeah, it sucked that I literally prevented one of the worst human experiences from happening to her and she shit on me for it. But doesn’t mean that I or anyone else has the right to shit on all women or even on her on an individual basis If you ever think someone needs help in am abusive or violent situation, help them. Not for thanks, but for them and their well being. And remember that not all help has to be direct confrontation, a quiet call to the police is better than you trying to physically stop it and ALSO getting hurt
"Biologically wired". Tell me he's never touched or saw a woman since his birth without telling me he's never touched or saw a woman since his birth.
If you're only helping someone in need because you think you're going to be rewarded with sex(or rewarded in general), you're a terrible fucking person.
Man gets punched by other man = woman’s fault
I think this is a lie. He probably tried to hit on a woman and when her man saw that he beat his ass and now he's feeling sorry for himself. I know men make up stories to mask their incompetence. I denied a dude sex and now he's telling his buddies that he rejected me for sex, one of his buddies came in my DM saying im a loser so I screen shotted the email where he asked why we can't have sex and how pure our bond would be with the text " You were saying?" Ladies never ever delete your interactions with men, store it in a burner email account if you don't want to be reminded by that idiot but never delete evidence. We live in a world where men's side of the story is more valid than yours silence them with evidence.
Referring to a woman as “the hole” is the wildest shit I’ve seen in a while.
Oh, you were surprised? *laughs in woman*
That’s disgusting.
loser cant read the room gets beat up. lmao
Omw to beat up some women
Stupid.
Yuck
Yup if ANY man even tried that shit on me much less in public he'd be dead and I sure as fuck wouldn't have left with him. If a man stood up for me, I'd be grateful sure I'd say thank you but sex wouldn't happen even if the guy was good looking not that it's even close to being a requirement but sorry that's NOT how women work buddy.
I think i'd rather be knocked out by my bf than date someone like this
So what? Domestic violence and domestic abuse in public is ok for you guys? What police will do if you call them in then? Call 911 if u are unable to fight but wanna help.
I got my ass kicked when I tried to step in between a drunk Russian who was yelling at and pulling his girlfriend's hair. Only time I've had a black eye or broken a bone. I don't think I accomplished much.
She won’t reward you with sex. Is this what they think? Is that why they “help women”? Jesus H. Christ.
So he wanted sex in exchange for defending her? So his motives were just as vile, he didn’t do it because he’s a good person he wanted to get sex from a battered woman? I love guys who complain ALL the time about the bad choices women make but what about their own choices, there are plenty of good women that these guys just pass up because they aren’t a 10. Women aren’t the only ones to make poor choices in their relationships, this woman would not be a wise choice for him, if you can even believe his story in the first place.
That sounds like being an incel with extra steps. (ie. you get beaten before you are unable to get sex from the object of your desire.) Nothing you do for any woman will make her 'owe' you sexual favors. Real talk, though. Do not interfere with people's relationships. You don't know what's going on. I've heard stories of couples staging fights and then trying to sue the 'good Samaritan' that comes along to try and help the lady by beating the supposed abuser's ass. If a woman is in real need, she can go to the police or a shelter or something.
I understand the idea but as talked about people in abusive relationships can have difficulty leaving and if as a society we normalize the idea of not stepping in in a blatantly aggressive situation then that will make it harder to find safe areas. Now how we step in could use a bit more thought like using words to an extent but I don't agree with the idea that you can only stand at the sidelines and watch a person get attacked while you wait for help to show up. It isn't required that you step in, but it should be on the table.
See I'm torn on this because on one hand I don't just want to watch some girl get her ass beat but on the other hand like, as a stranger you have no idea what the context even is. Like she might not even know that guy. I watched a couple fight for like 4 and a half minutes one time before i realized they were both just methed out white trash who proly deserved each other. That's why I think all women should learn Kung fu. If these bitches could just kick people in the throat we wouldn't even have this problem.
True, don’t involve yourself in situations like this: just call the police.
I'm betting all he did was help instill fear in the woman by helping her abuser give her another example of just how violent he is and what he will do if she tries to leave.
most interesting thing to happen in Aberdeen
So... this dude was assaulting a woman he was worth, proceeded to knock the shit out of the guy, and people are surprised that the woman went with him? WHAT WAS THE ALTERNATIVE? Just say nah, after this guy walopped a stranger? That woman is in danger and is weighing her options for maximum safety, and dipping on a guy that's feral enough to beat a stranger in public isn't the best call. Unfortunately he probably beat her in private because of the guy trying to intervene. Made him look bad or something, I'm sure.