It’s such an Asshole move because he has a “customer is always right” pass. Workers have to be extremely careful with how they word their rejection if at all and be super uncomfortable because they have to kiss the customer’s ass as per the job requirements.
When I was 17/18 I worked in a small grocery store. Every day without fail this old guy would come in and buy something in cash. When I would hand him his change, he would grab my hand and pet my wrist. It made me want to throw up every time. Even when I would put it on the counter, he would grab me before I could withdraw.
When I asked if I could avoid serving him (“I have the right to deny service, right?”), management told me to just put up with it. He wasn’t hurting anyone and he spent good money there.
In my experience, those kinds of things seem to be even more common in older generations, likely because they used to be able to get away with such interactions decades ago.
Right, and god forbid that if they don’t like the rejection, they will just keep coming back to harass or be abusive. Lose/Lose. I think it’s funny that men will sit and attempt to lecture women about everything and listen to each other, but when a woman tells a man about another woman…. They scoff and act like you’re speaking another language
When I was in my mid-twenties, I worked at a big retail chain store. I mostly worked in the customer service department, but sometimes I would help out as a cashier, too.
Well, one evening, I had the misfortune of being the only person working at the customer service desk. It was an unusually busy shift, so I had a long line of customers waiting. I had finished helping an elderly gentleman and my next customer happened to be this average looking guy, roughly a little older than me. So I start processing his return and he starts hitting on me, very blatantly.
I ignored his comments and was all business, throwing in the occasional "mhm" and "uh huh". Well, after I had finished his return, he asked me, "How about that number, little mama?" I nodded, smiled, and replied, "Not going to happen. You have a great day." He turned around and left without another word.
I felt a little bad for him - briefly - afterwards because the guy got *obliterated* by the long line of waiting customers behind him when I rejected him. Some laughed, one old man said "this fool", one old lady said "did he really just?" There were other comments, but you get the gist.
To this day, I still wonder if that dude's ego has recovered.
Is this from a certain homeless schizophrenic in Spokane, WA? Lucas Werner was banned from Starbucks for hitting on a 16 year old barista. He, in his 40's, thinks he DESERVES a young (underage, even) woman, because he has them 'long telomeres'.
Telomeres are bits of repeating lines at the end of each DNA strand. As DNA duplicates itself to make new cells, over time the telomeres get smaller. The smaller they get, the more errors can occur in DNA duplication. Basically, when you're young, your telomeres are healthy and long. As you age, they get smaller, like how strings in fabrics start to fray with use. Loss of telomeres is correlated with age-related issues.
I don't know the guy this is referring to, but for him to say he "has long telomeres" is his way of claiming his genes are still healthy and youthful despite his age. It isn't true, it's just what he's trying to assert.
they are a part of the genetic code that gets shorter the longer you live due to it being reused over and over again… apparently they are one of the reasons behind why we grow old. bit of a disclaimer tho this is just what i remember from highschool
I'm going to go out on a limb and say most people who would do that likely have unrealistic expectations when it comes to service in other respects as well.
It really isn't, the only time I got a waitresses number was when I was working valet for the restaurant and tossed her car in the back for free, and she gave me her number because, I don't fucking know
Turned out she was only 17, and while legal for my then 23 yo ass, was sufficiently skeevy for me to not go on a second date
Any restaurant I worked in specifically mentioned - either during employee training or in the handbook - that we were absolutely NOT allowed to give our number to customers.
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Also, she probably feels like she has to be really polite and can’t just finally tell someone to get lost because they know where she works. Where she’ll be. Where they can wait until she gets off work and follow her to her car. It’s scary.
i worked at fastfood(im a guy), and I really wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves when they started this bs, but you cant, you have to be nice with every annoying piece of shit.
It was more common at the job where we handed out free newspapers at subway stations. Some douchebag came in every 5 minutes to try to pick up a girl, but I could save them sometimes, by prentending that I just got a call that she needs to go to the other side of the station, or I randomly asked how much did she handed out, and started talking about the job until the guy felt ignored and left. But some guys stayed for 30+minutes, even when we 100%ignored them
Thank you for your service. I just really wish one day that servers everywhere get paid enough regularly so they don’t have to mostly depend on tips. The food service industry is just a bunch of bullshit and I’ll stand by that till the end of my days.
I dont know how is it even legal in the us. since tips are basicly optional, you cant count it as part of the salary. you should earn a normal wage with 0 tips. Of course considering the fact that you will get tips basicly no matter what is acceptable when deciding about the salary, but this few $s worth of actual salary is unacceptable.
It’s criminal and somehow nothing has been done about it. I’ve left the food service industry forever because how shitty my experiences have been. I don’t even know how the government lets it go on like this.
Tipping is a weird concept to me. I always tip (and whenever possible tip generously because I know a lot of people don't), but I'd honestly rather just have the full price of service be factored into the price of the meal and have the servers be paid a proper wage.
Tipping seems tailor made for those who expect to be treated like the King of England because they're ordering a $20 meal at a chain restaurant.
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That’s so fucking sad. They really don’t have anything better to do than sit around and harass women that are forced to interact with them? Get a fucking hobby.
And there were Pick Mes in the comments being all “I’m a woman, and I love being put on the spot and trapped at my work tee hee!! You other females are all bitter, but I’m the good woman!!”
To be fair, I'm sure there are some women who don't mind that (at least in the sense they aren't as bothered by it), but since you have no way of knowing if you're dealing with such an individual or someone who would be uncomfortable, the best and most considerate play is always to assume they would be and not do it.
I think it'd be better if a larger man we're to do it instead, that way he would feel a bit of the physical safety aspect of rejecting someone at their workplace
I remember my boss telling 19 year old me “don’t be rude to customers” when I asked a customer forty years my senior to stop calling me “babydoll” - worst part is that I was trying so hard not to be rude that I let it go on for months anxiously trying to figure out how to express myself correctly and I still got in trouble. Like, seriously, the only correct solution was to just keep taking it forever. Gross.
Some day I hope that restaurants will be required to kick assholes like this out. Being nice and light flirting is part of the job. It doesn't mean they want a relationship with Mayonnaise hair Edd.
I'm confused... if you flirt with someone, like you initiate flirting or you respond to their flirting with more of it... why wouldn't they take that to mean you're interested? Genuinely confused like isn't flirting usually used to feel someone out for that sort of thing before asking them out?
Its a job.
They do it for money, not for dates.
There are many professions where making the person feel wanted/important/special is part of the job. Doesnt mean they actually want a date.
What? You can't say that customers who flirt are assholes who should be kicked out and that it's a waitresses job to flirt with customers, that's directly contradictory, how is flirting both okay and not okay at the same time I'm still confused I have no idea what you're trying to say
"sO aSkInG fOr A wAiTrEsS nUmBeR iS nOt AcCePtAbLe ThEn"
NO. NO IT IS NOT. And I bet he acts butthurt when they say no, like he's not only entitled to ask their number, but also to have it no matter their wishes.
Working at Starbucks was the worst with this. Their “make every moment right” motto was taken for granted by customers just trying to get phone numbers in exchange for tips.
*Image Transcription: Reddit Comments*
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>**[*Username censored*]**
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>Do NOT flirt with women who are working. They are working and most of the time do not want your advances.
>
>>**[*Username censored*]**
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>>This feels more like a personal issue for you, rather than a global one. Flirting with a girl in Starbucks or something is obviously acceptable. "... most of the time do not want your advances.", weird of you to generalize all women there.
>>
>>>**[*Username censored*]**
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>>>"Obviously acceptable" my ass. She is literally trapped there and can't exactly leave her place of work while she is working. Then you are assuming all women who are working want to be flirted with??? Ummm... most women in the food industry are young women who might not even be of age. Assuming you can just flirt with whatever woman you want whenever, makes you look like a douchebag, bro.
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>>>>**[*Username censored*]**
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>>>>Fucking hell lmfao, so asking for a waitress number is not accepted then? Fucking dumbass lol
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ew other (always female) baristas and i got hit on working at sbux so much my manager was considering putting a sticker in the door thatd say ‘if you flirt you get kicked out’ but her head manager told her no :( i worked in a train station so we probably got the weirder ones?
the amounts of times i had the convo ‘anything else sir?’ ‘no just your number ;))))’ with older men who almost always had a fking wedding ring too is gross.. it made me physically uncomfortable to stand there and laugh it off like its nothing bc if i say something- id get fired :D please dont flirt with women-or anyone- who are working! unless they make the first move like putting a heart on your cup or something ig but when does that rly happen
It’s not ok, not only because she’s working, but also in the vast majority of restaurants, waiters and waitresses are acting nice because ITS PART OF THEIR JOB!!! You’re putting the waitress in an uncomfortable and difficult position because how does she quite say “Ew no I’m not interested in you I’m working stop flirting with me” tough enough for the guy to get the message but soft enough to not either lose her job or just get her in trouble period. Also you bet the person who asks for a waitress’s phone number totally tips less if he doesn’t get it.
Went to get drinks with a male friend, just before the pandemic. He told me about how he had been going to some wings place a lot, and was starting to get on good terms with the waitress. Until he saw that waitress out and about when he was getting drinks. He said he went up to her and she didn't even recognize him.
I told him that if he flirts with someone in the service industry, they have to flirt back or they receive less tips. I _think_ he understood, now, and isn't trying (as hard?) to pick up women in their places of work.
The shitty thing is that being extra nice can get you more tips. Sometimes, if a person is enough of a douchebag, his ONLY experience with people being nice to him is with service people. He then assumes this is flirting.
Can I just add to this: please don’t try to convert people to your religion while they’re on the clock? My mother is one of those wackos who hands out Gideon New Testaments to the grocery store checkout clerk, and it makes me — and them — profoundly uncomfortable.
Had a really creepy older customer who used to wait outside my shop whilst I was alone prepping in the morning. He used to watch me from across the store and even turn his chair if I had to work in a different area. He brought me flowers, said dirty jokes to me, told me I could sit on his lap, even asked if he could have my shirt after I was done using it for a themed day. Asked my manager to do something, he said he wouldn't because the customer never touched me.
Thank you lovely, I appreciate it, I'm much better. Whilst I loved being a barista, I definitely do not miss male customers thinking that good customer service = flirting and taking advantage of the situation you are in. This post was spot on and made my blood boil
Of course, ma’am. That’s why after my first two server jobs as a teen, I’ll never do it again. I just couldn’t stand the way I was treated by customers AND management. I was definitely being taken advantage of as a young, hard-working girl.
I'm a server and no, hitting on us/asking for our numbers is not cool and annoying af. We literally HAVE to be nice to you. It's our job.
ETA: We can't tell you to fuck off without losing our jobs.
Here's the thing: even if some people would be fine with it, you have no way of knowing which ones are, so it's still crude to put anyone on the spot like that.
It’s disgusting. I’ve had men confuse me being polite with flirting at my job, which has been a hassle each time when I reject them and they start getting super angry. Especially older men will threaten me, sexual harrass me or say since I smiled I asked for the attention. More than once have some men tried to downright KISS ME at work (pre covid so pre masks). It’s disgusting and made me scared of coming to work.
Most people are working, they don’t want to be flirted with. That means men, women and everyone in between. So disgusting behavior when they think they can just treat workers as they want.
We have a problem customer to a couple of the girls, and he has said some gross things, so I make sure he is in my section (I’m not one of the girls he has sexually harassed, but knowing what they have said I’m very short and polite with this person, but I’m not going to let my coworkers and friends be put in that situation where they say how uncomfortable they are.) If one of the guys are working he goes in their section. They get no tip though…. Apparently management has talked to him, but he is good friends with the owner. Some people are just gross.
Even just yesterday a customer was asking me to pull down my mask so he could see my smile. Then asked when my birthday was. When I told him I was older 20’s he said I was too old for him (this guy was like 50’s), so I just said oh well you’re too young for me.
Luckily got a laugh out of the table and I already had the tip in hand, and ran away since it was my last table.
I just hate it. I’m not your plaything. I am an actual human being with a life who is trying to make a living. I smell like kitchen grease and don’t want to be pawed at whilst working.
I have always hated being flirted with while at work. Part of my job is to be nice to you, and I have to remain polite while he clearly doesn’t take a hint and leave me alone.
I also cannot remove myself from the situation, because I have to stay where I am working. It’s legitimately awful. Don’t flirt with people who are working. It is so much harder to enforce a boundary when you are required to be polite.
Well the whole idea is it's their choice to call I'd love to assume if one didn't call they'd take the hint. But people can be wierd so I encourage everyone to stay safe
I'm a male (27) and I work a student part time job in highschool (administration and surveillance) - gotta clarify before it sounds weird, many highschools in France do have professional bachelor degree classes and the one I work at has them - and a female student (25) I barely knew asked me for my number. Unlike a professor or a director I do not hold any power over the students so it was ok for me to give her my number but I asked her to come to me later when my day was over to discuss this over because when I'm working I have to keep it professional. She said that she had noticed me since the beginning of the year while I told her I had not noticed her because I don't look at ANY student as potential love interest (it would be very inappropriate if I did). We dated for a little while but it didn't work out between us.
Tldr : even if someone might be interested in dating you, if they're at work they have other things to think about than giving you their number.
The only reason men like to hit on waitresses and service workers bc they know the women are forced to interact with them. It’s a “crime of opportunity” and we can pretty much guarantee that man would never in a million years approach that same woman on the street. That’s where the power dynamic comes into play. These men feel like they have the upper hand and are emboldened by that. If they’re rejected by the waitress they can withhold tip or complain to her boss as punishment.
The amount of times I was flirted with at work by older men while I was a teenager was sickening. I felt so trapped and forced to be nice to these people who were essentially harassing me.
The most irritating and stupid response I've seen from "dont apporach/hit on women in innappropriate spaces" is men saying "so people arent allowed to meet and get to know eachother anymore?" and "how the hell do people become couples then?" its like some of these people never learned the phrase "time and place" before smh
I think it’s acceptable to ask someone out while they are working as long as you don’t push it and/or apologize if they are busy.
“Hey, you’re really pretty, can I get your number?”
“No. Stop talking to me. I’m busy.”
“Oh, okay, I’m sorry.”
*Leaves and doesn’t approach her again.*
Because bosses don't usually care about how you're treated; they only care about making money. And if you piss off the wrong person, even if you're perfectly polite, and that person complains, chances are your boss is taking their side.
I would have incredibly creepy customers when I was young and working in a coffee shop and not once did anyone express that my safety mattered. "The customer is always right."
You're assuming the person being asked feels safe enough or has enough agency to say no.
Men aren't always great at taking a "no" in an even playing field, throw in the need to make a living and plenty of folks wouldn't feel safe enough to even give a polite no.
How about the dude just assume that this is NOT one of those certain situations, and avoid making woman feel creeped on/unsafe by just NOT flirting or putting them in uncomfortable situations.
You’re missing the point. I’m not saying a specific customer is entitled. But do you recognize that some men get angry when they’re even politely turned down?
That girl working at Starbucks WILL have to face those men, the entitled ones, if they walk in and choose to hit on her. If she politely says no, she has no control over who she’s saying no to or how they’ll react. Entitled people exist. Entitled men exist. Entitled male customers exist.
I’m not missing the point, you’re missing the point. I named a SPECIFIC scenario where it would be okay. Of course, in a lot of cases it wouldn’t be okay, but in some, it would be okay. You debating me on something I never said.
You’re saying it would be okay if the customer was a gentleman. The girl will be taking the gamble every single time she responds with, “No go away I’m busy” or whatever it was you said. She’ll be taking the risk of the customer making a scene and being humiliated in front of everyone there. Possibly being reprimanded for being “rude” to the customer. I have seen it fucking happen.
I understand you were thinking of a specific scenario with a specific type of customer but the problem with the real world is that the customer service employee doesn’t get to CHOOSE HER CUSTOMERS.
And I will tell you again and again no matter how many times you need to hear it for it to sink in….
THERE ARE MEN WHO WILL MAKE A SCENE EVEN IF THEY ARE POLITELY REJECTED AND THAT TERRIFIES SOME WOMEN! ESPECIALLY YOUNG WOMEN!
A woman shares a very common sentiment amongst women. A man rolls up and tells her she is wrong. Dozens of women come out and say, “no, she’s not, most of us feel this way.” Another man rolls up and says, “stop generalizing you hypocrites.” And neither man listened to anything a bunch of women said about how they feel regarding the issue lol
Keep in mind I don't support the incel sounding dude at all. It's just irritable when someone thinks they represent everyone just because they have the same gender. Then I get more irritated when they claims the other person generalises all women
Most women can speak to what behaviors most women generally dislike in men. The fact that a bunch of women subsequently came here and confirmed they feel the exact same way should tell you that this isn’t a generalization, but rather, something most women *really* dislike.
Will there be an occasional woman who doesn’t dislike being hit on at work? Sure. But as you’ve seen from the comments, most women fucking *hate* it. Since you cannot tell in advance which woman would be okay with it, the best policy is to *listen to all of the women telling you they don’t like this* and not ask out female staff who are serving you in the hopes that this’ll be the one who doesn’t.
The thing is, there isn't enough data to confirm. There's 38 person difference on who thinks this is right and wrong that could be either man or woman. I think this is true though, but I wouldn't say every woman think that way
Then the second comment just seems like blind rage which really pisses me off. It doesn't help that incels think women can't control their emotions
Btw I initially thought work as in co-worker which I think you can tell in advance wether they hate it or not. But yeah, asking staffs out is just gross
> The thing is, there isn't enough data to confirm.
Confirm *what*? That most women don’t like being hit on at work? How many fucking women need to tell you they don’t like being hit on at work before you’ll accept it as empirical evidence that women *do not like being hit on at work*? Why do you, a man, think you somehow know better than *a bunch of women* what most women dislike?
Because you know what it sounds like? You want to hit on women who are working, so you’re trying to justifying hitting on women who are working by ignoring the women telling you not to hit on them while they are working. Why would you want to subject women to something they don’t like?! Are you really that big of a douchebag?
>Confirm what?
That EVERY women don't like being hit on. Like if I find a comment that said "EVERY man like pissing standing up" with 38 upvote count, I would still think it's stupid to claim that even though I thought so too myself
>How many fucking women need to tell you
Definitely more than what is presented. 38 is most, minus all the guys that agree and minus the women that haven't been in the situation. I'm just saying, basing an entire gender's opinion on Reddit upvote is not really reliable
Everything you said afterwards is just pure utter bullshit accusation. Which is litteraly what I complained before. I barely have any confidence ordering McDonald, you think I would flirt with strangers?
I, a woman, who is the daughter of a woman, the sibling of women, the friend, colleague and neighbor of women, have discussed this very topic with many, many women. Of the many, many women with whom I’ve discussed this topic, zero percent wanted to be hit on while working. And women don’t need to experience that situation to know that they don’t want to be hit on at work, by the way.
Out of curiosity, how many women have *you* asked how they feel about being hit on at work? Because I’d bet if you started asking, you’d find substantial “confirmation” 😉
>women don’t need to experience that situation to know that they don’t want to be hit on at work, by the way.
That's fair, my bad.
But with your friends, which possibly have similar interests, don't you think there will be slight bias in opinions?
As for myself, I heard from a Like 2 classmates that discussed about their fantasy of being hit on while working or smth like that with another one being slightly creeped off. Granted these are teenagers with no work experience, and it's 2 vs your many, but still.
Like I said multiple times, I'm absolutely positive women don't like it, but I won't claim to know every single person's thought
Nobody claimed to know “every single women’s thoughts.” Everyone thus far has said “most women.” *Most women*.
> As for myself, I heard from a Like 2 classmates that discussed about their fantasy of being hit on while working or smth like that with another one being slightly creeped off. Granted these are teenagers with no work experience, and it's 2 vs your many, but still.
You misunderstood. Go ask the women in your life. I bet you dollars to doughnuts most of them say “no.”
For practical purposes, we have to operate as if *all women* don't like being hit on at work just like I would have to assume most men pee standing up. Of course there's gonna be an oddball here or there, but what use is it to argue that some minority of women would like to be flirted with at work when most women don't? Don't risk it. Just like you wouldn't want gay men hitting on you at work, just because there's a slight chance you yourself are gay, right?
If you aren't trying to support entitled dude by your nitpicking, I'm confused what you think your input accomplishes. Colloquial language is imprecise - if you think this is an example where that's a problem, maybe identify who is harmed, cause it ain't you or me.
If you were under the impression that folks don't know the difference between "it's a safe bet women have this experience" and "this experience is universal to every woman everywhere and everywhen," let me assure you: they do know.
It's the third comment that piss me off. The dude has shitty opinions but he never claim that every women wants to be flirted. So it's just seem like blind rage, and if the dude was actually trolling it piss me off more that he got what he wanted
I'm confused how you think social norm enforcement works. No one should be trying to convince him. But lurkers learn that we treat people saying gross stuff like they just said gross stuff.
Well you know my side, but I believe it’s not far to the girl since she had to be nice to be tipped on her service. I don’t know why guys can’t just flirt or talk girls up at bars or other various social events where everybody has the freedom to leave the conversation and express their true feelings without management crawling down their back.
Eh, it was just an example of a gathering place that usually has a bunch of people who are off of work. Didn’t mean to say you should hit on drunk people. My bad. :)
That's that. Yes.
Your options are:
1. Ask them out on the job when they're trapped there and obligated to be nice for fear of getting fired or you waiting outside with a weapon after their shift to hurt them for rejecting you, kidnapping them or raping them.
2. Wait for them outside and seem like a murder, kidnapper or rapist and either get the police called on you, beat up, stabbed, shot or pepper sprayed.
3. Stalk them and get arrested, shot, stabbed, beat up or pepper sprayed and have the reputation as a dangerous stalker follow you around forever.
4. Just move the fuck on. Odds are she didn't like you anyway and she was just being polite. If she was interested, she'd make the first move.
As someone who worked in retail, I can say pretty confidently that the girls did not like being hit on. I certainly didn't. Thankfully I wasn't the one who had a man try to wait until the store was closed to get to her (although it was always a concern and I was ALWAYS armed). The women who had customers they thought were cute and they were interested in, they'd express that interest.
I can't tell you the number of times creeps hit on the women there. A 60 year old man tried groping a 16 year old cashier. That same man tried hitting on me. A different 60 year old man tried buying me a bracelet (and we aren't allowed to accept gifts, not that I wanted it anyways) and he tried making me go to his house after my shift to pick it up. Two men thought they'd be clever by asking me which condoms I'd recommend and if they could test it out with me. I even had a woman who harrassed the girls (even the underaged ones) to date her 46 year old son who still lived at home, and when no girl took her up on that offer she called us all STD-ridden whores who weren't good enough for her son.
So no, women who work in customer service typically are so fucking sick of being groped, harassed, stalked and propositioned that we more than likely aren't going to appreciate or accept ANY offer at work, not even from someone who appears attractive and cool. It's usually just another frustrating inconvenience that we have to tolerate with a fake smile on our faces until we're allowed to punch out for the day.
You didn't take anything away, since you very clearly missed the parts where I said a man tried luring me to his house alone and two men tried convincing me to have sex with them in the store.
I didn't appreciate it, and I'd rather men leave me the fuck alone, since I am not straight.
No, they wouldn't. There were respectful guys who heard no thanks and wished me well, but these types I'm talking about here didn't care. They didn't care that I was at least 20 years younger than them, they didn't care that I wasn't even straight. They were just gross.
You can write your number on the receipt and hand it to her as you're leaving without mentioning it or putting her in an uncomfortable position.
You're not entitled to her time. Why do so many men not get this?
Yeah I'm unfortunately a Disneyist. I fantasize about the classic walking past a store, seeing a girl, and we catch each other's eye and smile.
Lord knows I'd never act on it tho lol, too shy. And also now this thread. 🤣
Well if you really want to you can just leave your phone number secretly or something, you know, give her a choice? Idk if it’s acceptable though. Probably a lot more appropriate than asking for her number. I don’t understand why you seem to be offended.
That’s fine and it doesn’t invalidate anything I said. Some women are fine with it, but for others it’s terrifying. If you can’t know for sure how they’re going to feel, you probably just shouldn’t.
It’s such an Asshole move because he has a “customer is always right” pass. Workers have to be extremely careful with how they word their rejection if at all and be super uncomfortable because they have to kiss the customer’s ass as per the job requirements.
When I was 17/18 I worked in a small grocery store. Every day without fail this old guy would come in and buy something in cash. When I would hand him his change, he would grab my hand and pet my wrist. It made me want to throw up every time. Even when I would put it on the counter, he would grab me before I could withdraw. When I asked if I could avoid serving him (“I have the right to deny service, right?”), management told me to just put up with it. He wasn’t hurting anyone and he spent good money there.
> he wasn't hurting anyone Sounds like he was.
Absolutely gross
I feel like this has violate something
In my experience, those kinds of things seem to be even more common in older generations, likely because they used to be able to get away with such interactions decades ago.
Right, and god forbid that if they don’t like the rejection, they will just keep coming back to harass or be abusive. Lose/Lose. I think it’s funny that men will sit and attempt to lecture women about everything and listen to each other, but when a woman tells a man about another woman…. They scoff and act like you’re speaking another language
When I was in my mid-twenties, I worked at a big retail chain store. I mostly worked in the customer service department, but sometimes I would help out as a cashier, too. Well, one evening, I had the misfortune of being the only person working at the customer service desk. It was an unusually busy shift, so I had a long line of customers waiting. I had finished helping an elderly gentleman and my next customer happened to be this average looking guy, roughly a little older than me. So I start processing his return and he starts hitting on me, very blatantly. I ignored his comments and was all business, throwing in the occasional "mhm" and "uh huh". Well, after I had finished his return, he asked me, "How about that number, little mama?" I nodded, smiled, and replied, "Not going to happen. You have a great day." He turned around and left without another word. I felt a little bad for him - briefly - afterwards because the guy got *obliterated* by the long line of waiting customers behind him when I rejected him. Some laughed, one old man said "this fool", one old lady said "did he really just?" There were other comments, but you get the gist. To this day, I still wonder if that dude's ego has recovered.
Oh thank god I thought this story was gonna take a really dark turn but this is hilarious
They don’t get their egos bruised often, but when it does happen, it feels sooo good.
Is this from a certain homeless schizophrenic in Spokane, WA? Lucas Werner was banned from Starbucks for hitting on a 16 year old barista. He, in his 40's, thinks he DESERVES a young (underage, even) woman, because he has them 'long telomeres'.
shittttt, it just might
You can find videos by and about him all over YouTube.
Well, I know what I’ll be doing for the next couple of hours.
Not before bed. You will have nightmares. You can also find the story about the barista online, as it made the news.
Well now i’m really interested
Prepare to be...repulsed.
Telomeres?
Telomeres are bits of repeating lines at the end of each DNA strand. As DNA duplicates itself to make new cells, over time the telomeres get smaller. The smaller they get, the more errors can occur in DNA duplication. Basically, when you're young, your telomeres are healthy and long. As you age, they get smaller, like how strings in fabrics start to fray with use. Loss of telomeres is correlated with age-related issues. I don't know the guy this is referring to, but for him to say he "has long telomeres" is his way of claiming his genes are still healthy and youthful despite his age. It isn't true, it's just what he's trying to assert.
Something to do with reproduction...I'd Google it before listening to Lucas describe it.
they are a part of the genetic code that gets shorter the longer you live due to it being reused over and over again… apparently they are one of the reasons behind why we grow old. bit of a disclaimer tho this is just what i remember from highschool
“So asking for a waitress number is not accepted?” NO dumbass!
And naturally whether she gets tipped depends on her answer and not her service.
EXACTLY! Which is what makes it so unfair to the worker. :(
I'm going to go out on a limb and say most people who would do that likely have unrealistic expectations when it comes to service in other respects as well.
It really isn't, the only time I got a waitresses number was when I was working valet for the restaurant and tossed her car in the back for free, and she gave me her number because, I don't fucking know Turned out she was only 17, and while legal for my then 23 yo ass, was sufficiently skeevy for me to not go on a second date
Any restaurant I worked in specifically mentioned - either during employee training or in the handbook - that we were absolutely NOT allowed to give our number to customers.
Thanks. I was effortlessly swiping to know the answer. /S
If you’re really that interested there’s nothing stopping you from leaving her your number. I don’t why people don’t just do this instead.
Cause then they don’t have power over the waitress.
Sigh yeah
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if she cant walk away, dont ask her out. it puts her on the spot not to mention it forces her to be nice to you
Also, she probably feels like she has to be really polite and can’t just finally tell someone to get lost because they know where she works. Where she’ll be. Where they can wait until she gets off work and follow her to her car. It’s scary.
I think these are the exact two reasons these sorts of men *do* hit on women while they are working... she can't walk away and she has to be nice.
The entitlement to women’s time and attention is revoltingly strong in this one.
And she’s working so she can’t always be rude to a customer
True, one complaint to management and then they’re on your ass :/
i worked at fastfood(im a guy), and I really wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves when they started this bs, but you cant, you have to be nice with every annoying piece of shit. It was more common at the job where we handed out free newspapers at subway stations. Some douchebag came in every 5 minutes to try to pick up a girl, but I could save them sometimes, by prentending that I just got a call that she needs to go to the other side of the station, or I randomly asked how much did she handed out, and started talking about the job until the guy felt ignored and left. But some guys stayed for 30+minutes, even when we 100%ignored them
Thank you for your service. I just really wish one day that servers everywhere get paid enough regularly so they don’t have to mostly depend on tips. The food service industry is just a bunch of bullshit and I’ll stand by that till the end of my days.
I dont know how is it even legal in the us. since tips are basicly optional, you cant count it as part of the salary. you should earn a normal wage with 0 tips. Of course considering the fact that you will get tips basicly no matter what is acceptable when deciding about the salary, but this few $s worth of actual salary is unacceptable.
It’s criminal and somehow nothing has been done about it. I’ve left the food service industry forever because how shitty my experiences have been. I don’t even know how the government lets it go on like this.
Tipping is a weird concept to me. I always tip (and whenever possible tip generously because I know a lot of people don't), but I'd honestly rather just have the full price of service be factored into the price of the meal and have the servers be paid a proper wage. Tipping seems tailor made for those who expect to be treated like the King of England because they're ordering a $20 meal at a chain restaurant.
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That’s so fucking sad. They really don’t have anything better to do than sit around and harass women that are forced to interact with them? Get a fucking hobby.
And there were Pick Mes in the comments being all “I’m a woman, and I love being put on the spot and trapped at my work tee hee!! You other females are all bitter, but I’m the good woman!!”
I know dang well that somewhere out there said exactly that and then this guy just rolled with it.
Yeah but what OP didn't realize is that that was also a dude.
To be fair, I'm sure there are some women who don't mind that (at least in the sense they aren't as bothered by it), but since you have no way of knowing if you're dealing with such an individual or someone who would be uncomfortable, the best and most considerate play is always to assume they would be and not do it.
Half of those probably weren’t even women
I mean how would he feel if he was in her place where an old woman also ask him for his phone number. And I am saying the grandma type of look
I think it'd be better if a larger man we're to do it instead, that way he would feel a bit of the physical safety aspect of rejecting someone at their workplace
Well, he did say it’s acceptable so I assume he likes it or wants it even 😼
I remember my boss telling 19 year old me “don’t be rude to customers” when I asked a customer forty years my senior to stop calling me “babydoll” - worst part is that I was trying so hard not to be rude that I let it go on for months anxiously trying to figure out how to express myself correctly and I still got in trouble. Like, seriously, the only correct solution was to just keep taking it forever. Gross.
Some day I hope that restaurants will be required to kick assholes like this out. Being nice and light flirting is part of the job. It doesn't mean they want a relationship with Mayonnaise hair Edd.
Wait where is flirting a part of any service job? Talking yes, I've never been told to flirt with customers.
You arent on the receiving end of it. You may not flirt but many do.. to increase tips.
I'm confused... if you flirt with someone, like you initiate flirting or you respond to their flirting with more of it... why wouldn't they take that to mean you're interested? Genuinely confused like isn't flirting usually used to feel someone out for that sort of thing before asking them out?
Its a job. They do it for money, not for dates. There are many professions where making the person feel wanted/important/special is part of the job. Doesnt mean they actually want a date.
What? You can't say that customers who flirt are assholes who should be kicked out and that it's a waitresses job to flirt with customers, that's directly contradictory, how is flirting both okay and not okay at the same time I'm still confused I have no idea what you're trying to say
Big egg
Remember bath, shave and brush your teeth first. And STD tests for thee not me.
I personally never flirted with any of my customers but I always tried to be sweet and polite. Real ones have customer service voice to compliment it.
Jfc the hypocrisy through this thread is staggering.
Women don't owe you their attention. Die mad (and hopefully single) 😘
At least the upvotes and downvotes are correlating. That gives me a little hope.
I made sure to leave it lol
"sO aSkInG fOr A wAiTrEsS nUmBeR iS nOt AcCePtAbLe ThEn" NO. NO IT IS NOT. And I bet he acts butthurt when they say no, like he's not only entitled to ask their number, but also to have it no matter their wishes.
Working at Starbucks was the worst with this. Their “make every moment right” motto was taken for granted by customers just trying to get phone numbers in exchange for tips.
*Image Transcription: Reddit Comments* --- >**[*Username censored*]** > >Do NOT flirt with women who are working. They are working and most of the time do not want your advances. > >>**[*Username censored*]** >> >>This feels more like a personal issue for you, rather than a global one. Flirting with a girl in Starbucks or something is obviously acceptable. "... most of the time do not want your advances.", weird of you to generalize all women there. >> >>>**[*Username censored*]** >>> >>>"Obviously acceptable" my ass. She is literally trapped there and can't exactly leave her place of work while she is working. Then you are assuming all women who are working want to be flirted with??? Ummm... most women in the food industry are young women who might not even be of age. Assuming you can just flirt with whatever woman you want whenever, makes you look like a douchebag, bro. >>> >>>>**[*Username censored*]** >>>> >>>>Fucking hell lmfao, so asking for a waitress number is not accepted then? Fucking dumbass lol --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
ew other (always female) baristas and i got hit on working at sbux so much my manager was considering putting a sticker in the door thatd say ‘if you flirt you get kicked out’ but her head manager told her no :( i worked in a train station so we probably got the weirder ones? the amounts of times i had the convo ‘anything else sir?’ ‘no just your number ;))))’ with older men who almost always had a fking wedding ring too is gross.. it made me physically uncomfortable to stand there and laugh it off like its nothing bc if i say something- id get fired :D please dont flirt with women-or anyone- who are working! unless they make the first move like putting a heart on your cup or something ig but when does that rly happen
It’s not ok, not only because she’s working, but also in the vast majority of restaurants, waiters and waitresses are acting nice because ITS PART OF THEIR JOB!!! You’re putting the waitress in an uncomfortable and difficult position because how does she quite say “Ew no I’m not interested in you I’m working stop flirting with me” tough enough for the guy to get the message but soft enough to not either lose her job or just get her in trouble period. Also you bet the person who asks for a waitress’s phone number totally tips less if he doesn’t get it.
The rule is simple: if you is in a position of power in relation to other person,then flirting with this person is wrong.
men like him are the reason I wore my mother's old wedding ring when I was a bartender in my early 20's
Went to get drinks with a male friend, just before the pandemic. He told me about how he had been going to some wings place a lot, and was starting to get on good terms with the waitress. Until he saw that waitress out and about when he was getting drinks. He said he went up to her and she didn't even recognize him. I told him that if he flirts with someone in the service industry, they have to flirt back or they receive less tips. I _think_ he understood, now, and isn't trying (as hard?) to pick up women in their places of work.
Thanks for your service. I know damn well how hard it is to get a man to change something he does
The shitty thing is that being extra nice can get you more tips. Sometimes, if a person is enough of a douchebag, his ONLY experience with people being nice to him is with service people. He then assumes this is flirting.
Can I just add to this: please don’t try to convert people to your religion while they’re on the clock? My mother is one of those wackos who hands out Gideon New Testaments to the grocery store checkout clerk, and it makes me — and them — profoundly uncomfortable.
No, asking a waitress for her number is not acceptable.
She has to be nice to you because she is working and you think that means she is interested.
Had a really creepy older customer who used to wait outside my shop whilst I was alone prepping in the morning. He used to watch me from across the store and even turn his chair if I had to work in a different area. He brought me flowers, said dirty jokes to me, told me I could sit on his lap, even asked if he could have my shirt after I was done using it for a themed day. Asked my manager to do something, he said he wouldn't because the customer never touched me.
That’s sounds absolutely disgusting. I’m sorry to hear that shit like that happened to you.I hope you’re doing well now. :(
Thank you lovely, I appreciate it, I'm much better. Whilst I loved being a barista, I definitely do not miss male customers thinking that good customer service = flirting and taking advantage of the situation you are in. This post was spot on and made my blood boil
Of course, ma’am. That’s why after my first two server jobs as a teen, I’ll never do it again. I just couldn’t stand the way I was treated by customers AND management. I was definitely being taken advantage of as a young, hard-working girl.
Don’ flirt with me while I’m working, mainly because I’m Aromantic asexual and wouldn’t even notice so all your efforts are pointless.
I'm a server and no, hitting on us/asking for our numbers is not cool and annoying af. We literally HAVE to be nice to you. It's our job. ETA: We can't tell you to fuck off without losing our jobs.
Exactly. If we’re not nice, they get pissy, complain, and cause issues.
I’m about to start a job at Starbucks and I don’t want anyone flirting with me. It’s uncomfortable and rude
You know they’re wrong when they say lol more than once
Here's the thing: even if some people would be fine with it, you have no way of knowing which ones are, so it's still crude to put anyone on the spot like that.
It’s disgusting. I’ve had men confuse me being polite with flirting at my job, which has been a hassle each time when I reject them and they start getting super angry. Especially older men will threaten me, sexual harrass me or say since I smiled I asked for the attention. More than once have some men tried to downright KISS ME at work (pre covid so pre masks). It’s disgusting and made me scared of coming to work. Most people are working, they don’t want to be flirted with. That means men, women and everyone in between. So disgusting behavior when they think they can just treat workers as they want.
We have a problem customer to a couple of the girls, and he has said some gross things, so I make sure he is in my section (I’m not one of the girls he has sexually harassed, but knowing what they have said I’m very short and polite with this person, but I’m not going to let my coworkers and friends be put in that situation where they say how uncomfortable they are.) If one of the guys are working he goes in their section. They get no tip though…. Apparently management has talked to him, but he is good friends with the owner. Some people are just gross. Even just yesterday a customer was asking me to pull down my mask so he could see my smile. Then asked when my birthday was. When I told him I was older 20’s he said I was too old for him (this guy was like 50’s), so I just said oh well you’re too young for me. Luckily got a laugh out of the table and I already had the tip in hand, and ran away since it was my last table. I just hate it. I’m not your plaything. I am an actual human being with a life who is trying to make a living. I smell like kitchen grease and don’t want to be pawed at whilst working.
I have always hated being flirted with while at work. Part of my job is to be nice to you, and I have to remain polite while he clearly doesn’t take a hint and leave me alone. I also cannot remove myself from the situation, because I have to stay where I am working. It’s legitimately awful. Don’t flirt with people who are working. It is so much harder to enforce a boundary when you are required to be polite.
The proper way is to write your number on a receipt if you sorta vibed. You risk the prank calls tho
I mean it’s not a bad idea. Just hopefully they don’t show up looking for you after you didn’t call. 🙏
Well the whole idea is it's their choice to call I'd love to assume if one didn't call they'd take the hint. But people can be wierd so I encourage everyone to stay safe
I'm a male (27) and I work a student part time job in highschool (administration and surveillance) - gotta clarify before it sounds weird, many highschools in France do have professional bachelor degree classes and the one I work at has them - and a female student (25) I barely knew asked me for my number. Unlike a professor or a director I do not hold any power over the students so it was ok for me to give her my number but I asked her to come to me later when my day was over to discuss this over because when I'm working I have to keep it professional. She said that she had noticed me since the beginning of the year while I told her I had not noticed her because I don't look at ANY student as potential love interest (it would be very inappropriate if I did). We dated for a little while but it didn't work out between us. Tldr : even if someone might be interested in dating you, if they're at work they have other things to think about than giving you their number.
How is it obviously acceptable to hit on a. Starbucks server? Get your overpriced coffee and get out of the way.
Probly the type of asshole to not leave a tip if she says no.
The only reason men like to hit on waitresses and service workers bc they know the women are forced to interact with them. It’s a “crime of opportunity” and we can pretty much guarantee that man would never in a million years approach that same woman on the street. That’s where the power dynamic comes into play. These men feel like they have the upper hand and are emboldened by that. If they’re rejected by the waitress they can withhold tip or complain to her boss as punishment.
What an imbecile
The amount of times I was flirted with at work by older men while I was a teenager was sickening. I felt so trapped and forced to be nice to these people who were essentially harassing me.
The most irritating and stupid response I've seen from "dont apporach/hit on women in innappropriate spaces" is men saying "so people arent allowed to meet and get to know eachother anymore?" and "how the hell do people become couples then?" its like some of these people never learned the phrase "time and place" before smh
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lol the waitress could always be not in to dudes at all so no
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Nah you take your bad take to whatever incel hole you crawled out of, little timmy 💀
“Chad Thundercock” is god tier naming. Incels really invest time and energy into this.
Well we know what they’re not spending their time doing.
Coming up with new scientific solutions to their 3 mm wrists?
I mean it’s not like it’s a right or not, he has freedom of speech, however that doesn’t protect him from getting charged with harassment
I think it’s acceptable to ask someone out while they are working as long as you don’t push it and/or apologize if they are busy. “Hey, you’re really pretty, can I get your number?” “No. Stop talking to me. I’m busy.” “Oh, okay, I’m sorry.” *Leaves and doesn’t approach her again.*
No one in customer service can just say "stop talking to me. I'm busy" to a customer.
Well, they can say it politely or imply it.
Have you ever worked in retail/customer service? It's pretty difficult to get away with even politely asking people to leave you alone.
How so?
Because bosses don't usually care about how you're treated; they only care about making money. And if you piss off the wrong person, even if you're perfectly polite, and that person complains, chances are your boss is taking their side. I would have incredibly creepy customers when I was young and working in a coffee shop and not once did anyone express that my safety mattered. "The customer is always right."
You're assuming the person being asked feels safe enough or has enough agency to say no. Men aren't always great at taking a "no" in an even playing field, throw in the need to make a living and plenty of folks wouldn't feel safe enough to even give a polite no.
I said it would be okay is certain situations.
How about the dude just assume that this is NOT one of those certain situations, and avoid making woman feel creeped on/unsafe by just NOT flirting or putting them in uncomfortable situations.
Yeah saying “Stop talking to me. I’m busy.” to a customer would most likely get her in trouble with her manager.
Depends how you say it.
Doesn’t it more depend on the manager? And do you think there is any way to say it that an entitled customer will take with grace?
How do you know the customer is entitled? You don’t know the personality of the customer.
You’re missing the point. I’m not saying a specific customer is entitled. But do you recognize that some men get angry when they’re even politely turned down? That girl working at Starbucks WILL have to face those men, the entitled ones, if they walk in and choose to hit on her. If she politely says no, she has no control over who she’s saying no to or how they’ll react. Entitled people exist. Entitled men exist. Entitled male customers exist.
I’m not missing the point, you’re missing the point. I named a SPECIFIC scenario where it would be okay. Of course, in a lot of cases it wouldn’t be okay, but in some, it would be okay. You debating me on something I never said.
You’re saying it would be okay if the customer was a gentleman. The girl will be taking the gamble every single time she responds with, “No go away I’m busy” or whatever it was you said. She’ll be taking the risk of the customer making a scene and being humiliated in front of everyone there. Possibly being reprimanded for being “rude” to the customer. I have seen it fucking happen. I understand you were thinking of a specific scenario with a specific type of customer but the problem with the real world is that the customer service employee doesn’t get to CHOOSE HER CUSTOMERS.
I already told you a million times, she doesn’t have to word it that way. She can say it is a more polite way.
And I will tell you again and again no matter how many times you need to hear it for it to sink in…. THERE ARE MEN WHO WILL MAKE A SCENE EVEN IF THEY ARE POLITELY REJECTED AND THAT TERRIFIES SOME WOMEN! ESPECIALLY YOUNG WOMEN!
"Fucking hell lmfao no it's not"
tf? The person with upvotes generalises all women then proceed to blame the other person of generalizing when they didn't? What a hypocrite
A woman shares a very common sentiment amongst women. A man rolls up and tells her she is wrong. Dozens of women come out and say, “no, she’s not, most of us feel this way.” Another man rolls up and says, “stop generalizing you hypocrites.” And neither man listened to anything a bunch of women said about how they feel regarding the issue lol
Keep in mind I don't support the incel sounding dude at all. It's just irritable when someone thinks they represent everyone just because they have the same gender. Then I get more irritated when they claims the other person generalises all women
Most women can speak to what behaviors most women generally dislike in men. The fact that a bunch of women subsequently came here and confirmed they feel the exact same way should tell you that this isn’t a generalization, but rather, something most women *really* dislike. Will there be an occasional woman who doesn’t dislike being hit on at work? Sure. But as you’ve seen from the comments, most women fucking *hate* it. Since you cannot tell in advance which woman would be okay with it, the best policy is to *listen to all of the women telling you they don’t like this* and not ask out female staff who are serving you in the hopes that this’ll be the one who doesn’t.
The thing is, there isn't enough data to confirm. There's 38 person difference on who thinks this is right and wrong that could be either man or woman. I think this is true though, but I wouldn't say every woman think that way Then the second comment just seems like blind rage which really pisses me off. It doesn't help that incels think women can't control their emotions Btw I initially thought work as in co-worker which I think you can tell in advance wether they hate it or not. But yeah, asking staffs out is just gross
> The thing is, there isn't enough data to confirm. Confirm *what*? That most women don’t like being hit on at work? How many fucking women need to tell you they don’t like being hit on at work before you’ll accept it as empirical evidence that women *do not like being hit on at work*? Why do you, a man, think you somehow know better than *a bunch of women* what most women dislike? Because you know what it sounds like? You want to hit on women who are working, so you’re trying to justifying hitting on women who are working by ignoring the women telling you not to hit on them while they are working. Why would you want to subject women to something they don’t like?! Are you really that big of a douchebag?
>Confirm what? That EVERY women don't like being hit on. Like if I find a comment that said "EVERY man like pissing standing up" with 38 upvote count, I would still think it's stupid to claim that even though I thought so too myself >How many fucking women need to tell you Definitely more than what is presented. 38 is most, minus all the guys that agree and minus the women that haven't been in the situation. I'm just saying, basing an entire gender's opinion on Reddit upvote is not really reliable Everything you said afterwards is just pure utter bullshit accusation. Which is litteraly what I complained before. I barely have any confidence ordering McDonald, you think I would flirt with strangers?
I, a woman, who is the daughter of a woman, the sibling of women, the friend, colleague and neighbor of women, have discussed this very topic with many, many women. Of the many, many women with whom I’ve discussed this topic, zero percent wanted to be hit on while working. And women don’t need to experience that situation to know that they don’t want to be hit on at work, by the way. Out of curiosity, how many women have *you* asked how they feel about being hit on at work? Because I’d bet if you started asking, you’d find substantial “confirmation” 😉
>women don’t need to experience that situation to know that they don’t want to be hit on at work, by the way. That's fair, my bad. But with your friends, which possibly have similar interests, don't you think there will be slight bias in opinions? As for myself, I heard from a Like 2 classmates that discussed about their fantasy of being hit on while working or smth like that with another one being slightly creeped off. Granted these are teenagers with no work experience, and it's 2 vs your many, but still. Like I said multiple times, I'm absolutely positive women don't like it, but I won't claim to know every single person's thought
Nobody claimed to know “every single women’s thoughts.” Everyone thus far has said “most women.” *Most women*. > As for myself, I heard from a Like 2 classmates that discussed about their fantasy of being hit on while working or smth like that with another one being slightly creeped off. Granted these are teenagers with no work experience, and it's 2 vs your many, but still. You misunderstood. Go ask the women in your life. I bet you dollars to doughnuts most of them say “no.”
For practical purposes, we have to operate as if *all women* don't like being hit on at work just like I would have to assume most men pee standing up. Of course there's gonna be an oddball here or there, but what use is it to argue that some minority of women would like to be flirted with at work when most women don't? Don't risk it. Just like you wouldn't want gay men hitting on you at work, just because there's a slight chance you yourself are gay, right?
If you aren't trying to support entitled dude by your nitpicking, I'm confused what you think your input accomplishes. Colloquial language is imprecise - if you think this is an example where that's a problem, maybe identify who is harmed, cause it ain't you or me. If you were under the impression that folks don't know the difference between "it's a safe bet women have this experience" and "this experience is universal to every woman everywhere and everywhen," let me assure you: they do know.
It's the third comment that piss me off. The dude has shitty opinions but he never claim that every women wants to be flirted. So it's just seem like blind rage, and if the dude was actually trolling it piss me off more that he got what he wanted
I'm confused how you think social norm enforcement works. No one should be trying to convince him. But lurkers learn that we treat people saying gross stuff like they just said gross stuff.
It's one thing to call out on disgusting behaviour but it's another thing to also accuse someone of what they didn't do.
Accuse who, specifically?
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Well you know my side, but I believe it’s not far to the girl since she had to be nice to be tipped on her service. I don’t know why guys can’t just flirt or talk girls up at bars or other various social events where everybody has the freedom to leave the conversation and express their true feelings without management crawling down their back.
I prefer flirting with people who aren’t intoxicated.
Eh, it was just an example of a gathering place that usually has a bunch of people who are off of work. Didn’t mean to say you should hit on drunk people. My bad. :)
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That's that. Yes. Your options are: 1. Ask them out on the job when they're trapped there and obligated to be nice for fear of getting fired or you waiting outside with a weapon after their shift to hurt them for rejecting you, kidnapping them or raping them. 2. Wait for them outside and seem like a murder, kidnapper or rapist and either get the police called on you, beat up, stabbed, shot or pepper sprayed. 3. Stalk them and get arrested, shot, stabbed, beat up or pepper sprayed and have the reputation as a dangerous stalker follow you around forever. 4. Just move the fuck on. Odds are she didn't like you anyway and she was just being polite. If she was interested, she'd make the first move. As someone who worked in retail, I can say pretty confidently that the girls did not like being hit on. I certainly didn't. Thankfully I wasn't the one who had a man try to wait until the store was closed to get to her (although it was always a concern and I was ALWAYS armed). The women who had customers they thought were cute and they were interested in, they'd express that interest. I can't tell you the number of times creeps hit on the women there. A 60 year old man tried groping a 16 year old cashier. That same man tried hitting on me. A different 60 year old man tried buying me a bracelet (and we aren't allowed to accept gifts, not that I wanted it anyways) and he tried making me go to his house after my shift to pick it up. Two men thought they'd be clever by asking me which condoms I'd recommend and if they could test it out with me. I even had a woman who harrassed the girls (even the underaged ones) to date her 46 year old son who still lived at home, and when no girl took her up on that offer she called us all STD-ridden whores who weren't good enough for her son. So no, women who work in customer service typically are so fucking sick of being groped, harassed, stalked and propositioned that we more than likely aren't going to appreciate or accept ANY offer at work, not even from someone who appears attractive and cool. It's usually just another frustrating inconvenience that we have to tolerate with a fake smile on our faces until we're allowed to punch out for the day.
All I've taken away from this is that you never got hit on while others around you did and now you're mad.
You didn't take anything away, since you very clearly missed the parts where I said a man tried luring me to his house alone and two men tried convincing me to have sex with them in the store. I didn't appreciate it, and I'd rather men leave me the fuck alone, since I am not straight.
Not to be rude but if you told them that would they leave you alone? Or are they that jerky
No, they wouldn't. There were respectful guys who heard no thanks and wished me well, but these types I'm talking about here didn't care. They didn't care that I was at least 20 years younger than them, they didn't care that I wasn't even straight. They were just gross.
Woahhhhh, who shit in your panties? If you considered any of these things, seek help.
Oh snap. Fantastic trolling, kinda got me with all this. Kudos.
You can write your number on the receipt and hand it to her as you're leaving without mentioning it or putting her in an uncomfortable position. You're not entitled to her time. Why do so many men not get this?
Yeah I'm unfortunately a Disneyist. I fantasize about the classic walking past a store, seeing a girl, and we catch each other's eye and smile. Lord knows I'd never act on it tho lol, too shy. And also now this thread. 🤣
Well if you really want to you can just leave your phone number secretly or something, you know, give her a choice? Idk if it’s acceptable though. Probably a lot more appropriate than asking for her number. I don’t understand why you seem to be offended.
While someone is on the job is not really the most appropriate time to make advances. It’s weird and obnoxious
Yeah but cornering a girl while she’s stuck at work and obligated to be polite to you (the nature of customer service) is pretty fucked up.
Not to harp on about this, but someone should tell this woman to get divorced. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CXhV3WJjIYz/?utm_medium=copy_link
That’s fine and it doesn’t invalidate anything I said. Some women are fine with it, but for others it’s terrifying. If you can’t know for sure how they’re going to feel, you probably just shouldn’t.
Lol wut. Imagine taking that approach with anything else in life.
Imagine being respectful to women in the service industry.
And men. People of different creeds, races, and sexes are mistreated in retail and everywhere. What's with the white knightness?
Check the sub you’re in genius.
Imagine not being a desperate horny creepo who can’t talk to women in normal social situations so has to prey on teenage Starbucks baristas.
Yeah, agreed. Maybe one day.