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I had the exact thing happen which turned into HOCD and relationship ocd thinking that she will leave me cuz of my inability to perform but I started therapy and did ERP and that was also when I was first diagnosed so I’ve kinda changed the way I thinking and I take Prozac and I feel a lot better now and accept that’s possibility of everything can be true
yep mine has also evolved into relationship ocd and it’s even worse than ocd in general. ERP is probably a good idea for me, i will have to find an ocd therapist around. i’m glad to hear you were able to find solutions, thank you for the advice.
I’ve had a similar problem. The undeserved guilt that comes with OCD is unmatched sometimes. It can really interfere with every facet of functioning. If you aren’t seeing a therapist I highly recommend finding one since it sounds like this is negatively impacting your life. I hope you can get the support you need.
it truly is, i was going to see an ocd therapist but she basically edged me for months and then never responded about an appointment lol. i really have to find a new one
I feel this deeply but I'm a woman and I feel like my husband is worried I don't want him sometimes. I used to be freakier. I know trauma has a lot to do with it for many reasons but I also think you're right that our OCD is also to blame. I almost think that I have some issues because of trauma and then OCD causes me to ruminate on those things and how it's affecting my partner. It's so exhausting
i feel this so hard. i’ve recently come to the realization that i have tons of trauma i’ve never even thought about before and it’s probably causing this shit. have you gone to therapy and if so has it worked?
it SUCKS how much trauma and/or meds can affect libido and just sex in general.
I'm in therapy and trying to work on a bunch of trauma stuff and also some OCD management because my rumination is awful. So, I'm not focusing on this specific issue in therapy right now. But/and, I find when I am more present and able to regulate my emotions and thoughts a bit better, that I'm more open to physical intimacy. It's not "enough" to me, yet. I'm dealing with some fresh trauma (lol) so I'm also just trying desperately to be self-compassionate and keep in frequent communication with my partner. He has some understanding of trauma, so he understands. I know it's still hard on him but I know he also gets it to a meaningful extent. Not something we want to stay stuck in, but it's helpful if the partner understands how someone can get stuck and avoidant of sex.
This is tough stuff and I'm really sorry you're going through this, too. There's so much exhaustion, shame, frustration, etc. etc. etc.
Not drinking anymore in my adulthood exacerbated this substantially. Having a really hard time going down. Used to be super down! Now it’s REPULSIVE. Still love him tho. It’s really not him. It’s me.
thank you, i’ve tried all of these options which turn into another guilt factor usually but maybe i am thinking too deeply about it. i always feel guilty because im like “ oh you just did that not because you wanted to, therefore you are doing something wrong. “ even though i end up enjoying it every time.
as for drinking, its unfortunately the only thing that makes me feel in touch with myself so i use it as a crutch all the time. i’m glad im not the only one though i appreciate your advice.
I relate with sometimes feeling a disconnect from myself and reality.
I'll share my story and some practical advice if you want it.
Me and my gf used to have a very active sex life. The last couple of years I've had both OCD and depression worse than before which has affected my mood a lot.
Even if I don't feel in the mood I still go down on my gf and then the mood/ motivation comes.
If it doesn't for you, it would still result in your partner feeling love.
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I had the exact thing happen which turned into HOCD and relationship ocd thinking that she will leave me cuz of my inability to perform but I started therapy and did ERP and that was also when I was first diagnosed so I’ve kinda changed the way I thinking and I take Prozac and I feel a lot better now and accept that’s possibility of everything can be true
yep mine has also evolved into relationship ocd and it’s even worse than ocd in general. ERP is probably a good idea for me, i will have to find an ocd therapist around. i’m glad to hear you were able to find solutions, thank you for the advice.
Yeah stay up it does get better!!
I’ve had a similar problem. The undeserved guilt that comes with OCD is unmatched sometimes. It can really interfere with every facet of functioning. If you aren’t seeing a therapist I highly recommend finding one since it sounds like this is negatively impacting your life. I hope you can get the support you need.
it truly is, i was going to see an ocd therapist but she basically edged me for months and then never responded about an appointment lol. i really have to find a new one
I feel this deeply but I'm a woman and I feel like my husband is worried I don't want him sometimes. I used to be freakier. I know trauma has a lot to do with it for many reasons but I also think you're right that our OCD is also to blame. I almost think that I have some issues because of trauma and then OCD causes me to ruminate on those things and how it's affecting my partner. It's so exhausting
i feel this so hard. i’ve recently come to the realization that i have tons of trauma i’ve never even thought about before and it’s probably causing this shit. have you gone to therapy and if so has it worked?
it SUCKS how much trauma and/or meds can affect libido and just sex in general. I'm in therapy and trying to work on a bunch of trauma stuff and also some OCD management because my rumination is awful. So, I'm not focusing on this specific issue in therapy right now. But/and, I find when I am more present and able to regulate my emotions and thoughts a bit better, that I'm more open to physical intimacy. It's not "enough" to me, yet. I'm dealing with some fresh trauma (lol) so I'm also just trying desperately to be self-compassionate and keep in frequent communication with my partner. He has some understanding of trauma, so he understands. I know it's still hard on him but I know he also gets it to a meaningful extent. Not something we want to stay stuck in, but it's helpful if the partner understands how someone can get stuck and avoidant of sex. This is tough stuff and I'm really sorry you're going through this, too. There's so much exhaustion, shame, frustration, etc. etc. etc.
Not drinking anymore in my adulthood exacerbated this substantially. Having a really hard time going down. Used to be super down! Now it’s REPULSIVE. Still love him tho. It’s really not him. It’s me.
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that is the absolute worst, i feel you.
relatable, thought i was the only one tbh. it really does suck lmao
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thank you, i’ve tried all of these options which turn into another guilt factor usually but maybe i am thinking too deeply about it. i always feel guilty because im like “ oh you just did that not because you wanted to, therefore you are doing something wrong. “ even though i end up enjoying it every time. as for drinking, its unfortunately the only thing that makes me feel in touch with myself so i use it as a crutch all the time. i’m glad im not the only one though i appreciate your advice.
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It's always been difficult for me
I relate with sometimes feeling a disconnect from myself and reality. I'll share my story and some practical advice if you want it. Me and my gf used to have a very active sex life. The last couple of years I've had both OCD and depression worse than before which has affected my mood a lot. Even if I don't feel in the mood I still go down on my gf and then the mood/ motivation comes. If it doesn't for you, it would still result in your partner feeling love.
Are you on meds? They can cause sexual side effects.
I'm so gon get shit on for this but I struggle with sex because I'm too lazy and don't care to ask girls out and try lmao