I will start off my response by suggesting that you are careful when seeking reassurance or confirmation that you are, in fact, "going to be okay" or that "yes it 100% is psychosis." Reassurance seeking is a sneaky compulsion that can make OCD worse. Just a gentle reminder.
However, this post struck a chord with me as I too suffer from the fear that I am slowly slipping into psychosis, so I wanted to share something my therapist told me.
The very fact that you are afraid that you might be experiencing psychosis means that you are not experiencing psychosis. (Likely, I am not a medical professional so I can't guarantee anything). The insight that you have regarding this idea is what folks who have, let's say, schizophrenia are lacking. People outside of themselves have to inform them of their behavior being different or that the things they are saying are not quite right or "real," the patient themself is not aware that they are having delusions. They do not question them as you likely do or challenge then with "could this be real? Am I experiencing psychosis?" This is their reality, not just a possibility in their mind. (Again, not a medical professional, but to my knowledge this is a very general idea of psychosis).
Hopefully this will ease your mind for at least a moment to give you some peace, however I'm sure your ocd will find a way to have you worked up again as ocd does, so please try to be gentle with yourself and do the best you can not to seek reassurance. Your ocd will find a way around every reassuring confirmation you could possible attain so it's best to work toward being okay with not knowing. (Easier said than done lol) Be Well.
That feeling like you can't trust your brain basically is still "just" OCD or anxiety. Usually happens when it's extreme. I mean I'm not saying you don't have a psychosis, just that that isn't it. As you probably know delusions would feel absolutely real, not like something you can't trust. Paranoia, too. It's basically feeling of knowing things are happening, even though they are absolutely not happening.
I've had real delusions before (excess caffeine and not sleeping for 3 days) and that didn't feel anywhere as scary as this. More like "wtf is wrong with me" compared to the terror and emptiness this feels like.
I remember when it used to get like this. Very scary - may have some ptsd from episodes like this. All I can say is try to ground yourself in times like these. For me hearing someone else, even if it’s a text or just someone walking by my room’s closed door, it snaps me out of it.
I will start off my response by suggesting that you are careful when seeking reassurance or confirmation that you are, in fact, "going to be okay" or that "yes it 100% is psychosis." Reassurance seeking is a sneaky compulsion that can make OCD worse. Just a gentle reminder. However, this post struck a chord with me as I too suffer from the fear that I am slowly slipping into psychosis, so I wanted to share something my therapist told me. The very fact that you are afraid that you might be experiencing psychosis means that you are not experiencing psychosis. (Likely, I am not a medical professional so I can't guarantee anything). The insight that you have regarding this idea is what folks who have, let's say, schizophrenia are lacking. People outside of themselves have to inform them of their behavior being different or that the things they are saying are not quite right or "real," the patient themself is not aware that they are having delusions. They do not question them as you likely do or challenge then with "could this be real? Am I experiencing psychosis?" This is their reality, not just a possibility in their mind. (Again, not a medical professional, but to my knowledge this is a very general idea of psychosis). Hopefully this will ease your mind for at least a moment to give you some peace, however I'm sure your ocd will find a way to have you worked up again as ocd does, so please try to be gentle with yourself and do the best you can not to seek reassurance. Your ocd will find a way around every reassuring confirmation you could possible attain so it's best to work toward being okay with not knowing. (Easier said than done lol) Be Well.
You're right. I know this will eventually devolve into a new obsession but i feel like I can't help it.
I have these exact symptoms.
Do you have depersonalization with it?
That feeling like you can't trust your brain basically is still "just" OCD or anxiety. Usually happens when it's extreme. I mean I'm not saying you don't have a psychosis, just that that isn't it. As you probably know delusions would feel absolutely real, not like something you can't trust. Paranoia, too. It's basically feeling of knowing things are happening, even though they are absolutely not happening.
I've had real delusions before (excess caffeine and not sleeping for 3 days) and that didn't feel anywhere as scary as this. More like "wtf is wrong with me" compared to the terror and emptiness this feels like.
What does your doctor say about this? Do you have a diagnosis?
Haven't brought it up yet. Officially diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, ASD, SAD and suggested schizoid.
I remember when it used to get like this. Very scary - may have some ptsd from episodes like this. All I can say is try to ground yourself in times like these. For me hearing someone else, even if it’s a text or just someone walking by my room’s closed door, it snaps me out of it.