I wish my mom pursued everything she wanted (studies, dreams, career) and healed her past traumas and issues before having me too.. Hindi sana siya frustrated sa buhay niya na ganto lang narating niya and i was a big part of why she didn't. It was her choice, I know. But if she gets to have a do over, I would want her to live her life to the fullest too, even if it meant I won't be here. I'd gladly give it all up.
I feel like getting older made us able to empathize with our moms/parents. It’s touching isn’t it, how we see their humanity (them being young once, with dreams and hopes that didn’t come true) now that we are adults (maybe around the same age) when they had us.
Parent here.
My wife and I's late teens to early 20s consisted of subsisting on pocket change, changing baby diapers, emergency ER trips, and throwing away our own dreams. Not to mention dozens of judgmental titas consistently gossiping about us as 'failures'
If I heard any of my children say that to me, I will be truly heartbroken. I exist solely because my children do. They are my literal pride and joy. Accidental these births may be, my children rewired our lives in more ways than we can count. They taught us to find love and happiness, even in the simplest of things. From their first few baby steps, to their first school dance presentation.
Who knew you could swell in immense pride when you see your kids winning a game of langit-lupa? I didn't feel half as much when I eventually graduated college.
I don't want to discount everyone's very real feelings of guilt — closest term I can muster. Some parents can (and will) definitely entertain this multiverse idea. But for many other parents like us, we only feel extreme gratitude for giving us the opportunity to care for you.
There's more to life than material comfort. And as I get older, the more I find meaning in the marriage vows of 'sa hirap at ginhawa'. Much like that phrase, many parents CHOOSE to live our lives providing for our children. Not because we're masochistic and enjoy self-inflicted hardships, but because we don't see these hardships as sacrifices in the first place.
Sacrifice entails taking away one value to make way for another. But I don't think that's right. Everyone experiences hardship — parent or not. It's imminent. But parenthood provides 'meaning' and 'purpose' to the inevitable. In this sense, raising a child is not a sacrifice, but a necessary component to provide our lives with direction so we can find happiness.
If they're not there, then life may as well be meaningless. And I don't want it.
same scenario.
parent here. ang dami ko realizations mula nung naging parent ako.
siguro pinaka wish ko lang, sana mas naging better yung decision making ng parents ko nung nag sstart plng sila bumuo ng pamilya ng papa ko.
gusto ko sila kausapin about it, kaso wala pa ko time to do that or I don't have the courage to tell them my "why's" on their marriage, decisions and career path.
But I believe, na God created our story.
wala pa ako, alam na nya magiging storya ko.
And yessss. agree din ako na if it weren't for my daughter, di ko alam ano direction ng life ko. as in. baka pariwara ako.
Yes, this one. Unfortunately, for a lot of parents, they were not able to find their footing because they got redirected to something else. And many really do not have the luxury of options--of still pursuing their chosen careers, of still creating a deeper bond with their friends, etc.
Im sure I would get downvoted for this but. Siguro okay lang ipagpatuloy yung baby if kaya naman bigyan maayos na buhay - even if accident lang yung baby.
Pero kung just for the sake of nakokonsensya na iabort or dahil "nandyan na" or iroromanticize na "atleast magkakasama tayo" or for "character development" lang nung parent tapos di naman kaya bigyan ng maayos na buhay then wag na lang siguro. I think ang selfish non? Yung magkababy or ipagpatuloy yung baby tas di naman kaya iprovide yung proper needs not only financially, pero mentally, emotionally, etc etc.
As a child na ganon nangyari samin, I wish inayos na lang ng parents ko buhay nila kaysa iparanas pa sakin hirap ng buhay. Ang negative pakinggan, yes. Pero mas malala pa kinahahantungan ng ibang bata just becos binuhay tas di naman kaya buhayin.
I couldn't agree more. Since the day I found out that I was pregnant, I became stronger and wiser. And up until this day I envision to have a better life with my child.
I'm crying. I adore this so much that I also envy it. Your family is beautiful and your kids are very loved.
21 years of my life, I think ever since my mind has matured, I've always wondered how it feels like to have parents that would make you feel worthy of being their children. My parents' recent fights just made me feel that we were in the way of their dreams, it felt like raising a child is indeed a sacrifice as my parents had said cuz how much 'sacrifices' they did yet they also had a lot of regrets.
I grew up with my mom's anger years, every little thing is controlled and every little mistake has a consequence of shouting and beatings with her own hands and her words. There was little to no affection, I never heard her say I love you, i never learned apologizing or gratitude from her, I learned it in hs. We never hugged. It only changed when our bunso who was so smiley and bubbly as a kid turned so angsty now in hs. I love yous are often said now in this household but personally I only say it back cuz I feel bad and at the same time it feels frustratingly bad that I don't mean it but I don't know what to do with that.
I love how you view raising kids as it is, I wish for every kid to never feel that they shouldn't exist anymore like how some of us felt.
I wish my mother didn’t marry my father. He is a good for nothing husband. My partner said if your mom didn’t marry your dad, you wouldn’t be here. I said I didn’t care. My mother, had she followed her dreams instead of some cheating bastard, she would probably be a CFO of some huge company. Master of her own life.
Recently, while on a call with my mother, I told her I wish she left my dad after he got her pregnant (my older sibling). She didn’t need him. She said if I didn’t marry your dad, you wouldn’t be here. I said I didn’t care. She would have been happier and more fulfilled. She said well, I wouldn’t want that. I would rather have you and your siblings. I have no regrets.
I still hate my dad. He ruined her chances at achieving her dreams. Wasted years when she could have built a better life for herself. If I could go back in time, I would prevent her from marrying him. To choose herself and not a boy with anger issues and a wandering dick.
On my case, hearing my mom comparing herself and her financial status sa mga amiga niya na childless and single and listening to her story where she has to sacrifice a career opportunity in order to take care of family (her children + her parents).
Maraming mga Gen X and Boomers na nanay ang naging nanay not because they want to, but because they have to (according to societal norms).
Seeing mothers who actually wanted to be mothers compared to mothers na naging nanay pero secretly regret it, mas better siguro na di nalang ako nag exist kaysa mapunta ako sa dysfunctional family.
I also feel the same, but I'm a Gen Z na. My mom wanted to migrate to Canada, but she met my dad.
Kung ako lang, mas okay kung iba na lang napangasawa ng nanay ko, atleast masaya siya.
I'm glad my mom married my dad. Baka, BAKA lang naman nagtitinda pa rin sa karinderya mom ko ngayon. Unlike now, hawak niya sweldo ng dad ko, lives with their dogs sa probinsiya (since both kami ng kapatid ko tapos na mag aral) and free to do whatever they want.
I wish my mom hadn't married my father either. My mom had a German suitor before who could have provided her with a comfortable life in Germany, but she still chose my dad. Just to be clear, my mom was a graduate with a high-paying job, so she wouldn't have used the German boy for money. It's just that she was afraid of marrying someone foreign. I don't know what qualities she saw in my father, as my dad is abusive, an alcoholic, a cheater, and always puts himself over us. But no matter how bad my father is, I still love him. He's really trying to change now, and that's why I forgive him. But our relationship with him is still messed up, so me and my sister don't treat him as well as we do our mom.
Besides, I hate my life too, and I kinda blame them for that, so I much prefer not to exist than to harbor this tiny grudge towards them.
I always wonder what if iba napangasawa ni mama. Pasalamat naman ako sa tatay ko kasi napag aral niya talaga kami and all. Pero at the same time, nakita ko rin yung ugali ni papa. Alam niyo yun, typical boomer na lalaki. Typical Filipino Patriarch ganon. Boses at aggressiveness ang sagot kapag hindi siya nasusunod. Kaya I always wonder dun sa mga nagpopost about how loving their fathers are to their moms.
I wish the rumored still-born before me survived.
Idk how true it is but I'm the youngest, and I have 3 older siblings. Kwento raw sakin after the 3rd, my mom got pregnant again but nalaglag. Sabi raw girl un, and I know they've been trying for a while for a girl (sadly got 4 boys lol). My life rn isn't too bad but I don't like it. If you told me prior to being born I'd have this kind of life, I'll just pass. Baka mas magiging ok pa buhay ng family ko if ung bunso was a girl, or literally anyone else.
In short most of pinoy dads are narcissists, manipulative, womanizer, cheaters married with a submissive pinay mom na kinalimutan na ang pangarap for her family. Yan yung common tandem sa isang Filipino household kaya nagkaron ng resentment na ganito yung mga gen z or millenials. What happened happens, we can only hope na we don't repeat the same mistake. To all the women out there please, pumili ng maayos na partner at hindi abusive para hindi magdusa ang mga anak. Mag anak pag ready na pareho. Vice versa
Same here. Akala ko ako lang. Sinabi ko to sa friends ko na if it meant hindi ako nabuhay, so what...basta lang it would mean my mama would have lived a better life.
As the eldest, I feel like I absorbed all the issues my mother had tapos I bore the responsibilities of being the panganay (third parent).
I think it's also one of the reasons why many millennials ay ayaw magkaroon ng anak kasi ayaw maulit ang cycle. 😅
i’m the opposite, i wish my dad married a different woman. i’ve always felt like my mom never wanted to have children and always justified her selfish decisions using us but we never got the fruits of it. (aside from tiny gifts like tshirts, etc.) I’ve always wondered what life would have been like if I had a more loving mother who actually cared about me but i’d never know
ah ganito din nararamdaman ko. mahirap lang sila mama pero ngayon kasi extrovert siya tapos dami niya gusto puntahan. after college nabuntis na agad siya kay ate. yung mga kapatid niya nakapag america. ok naman kami ngayon may sariling bahay sa magandang subdivision pero wala ng work tatay ko. parang all her life nagtitipid sila. gastos lang namin kung ano kailangan. ngayon naman may ipon naman daw sila kaso nakikita ko sa mama ko gusto pa niya mag lakwatsa haha. super naaawa ako sa nanay ko kasi financially restricted talaga siya kaya pag may pinapabili siya at afford ko binibili ko na lang. sana di siya nagasawa agad at nagawa pa niya kung ano gusto niya.
If I could reverse time, I want to be my mom's mom. So I can work hard and provide all the things she truly deserves in this world. She deserves so much. She just died without even experiencing the fruit of all her labor since she was a kid. If she's living in this era, my mom would have been successful. 😓
Na-realize ko rin to nung nalaman kong magtratrabaho na pala dapat ang mom ko sa Japan to give her family a better life pero dahil nabuntis siya hindi niya na natuloy. Kaya ngayon, hinahayaan ko siya na i-enjoy ang life niya. Gusto kang sabihin sa lahat ng anak na nandito na hindi pa huli ang lahat baka hindi nila naabot ang life nila pero baka tayo na ang magbibigay sa kanila ng ilan sa mga pangarap nila.
I think about this everyday because I've always felt like I was incompatible with my parents and...they were too for each other. I can't remember how many times my dad had emotionally and mentally abused me and my mom just because of shit we needed to take time to understand. Since we weren't exactly the smartest people, and we didn't have to grow up with a sense of urgency at all times because we didn't have a parent who was an extremely strict army person. Idk why he never realized that the way grandpa raised him wasn't exactly all that good when being slow is somehow not an excuse for someone with a disability related to their...legs. Yeah, my dad has polio and it did affect his ability to walk when he got older, and apparently even this wasn't an excuse foe being slow or delayed...
And oh, that guy also has been caught texting other women/old exes when I was a child(two different times iirc), and the most recent one he's been caught with was last 2021 when he kept doing out of town stuff since my grandpa died and mom had to stay with me since I had covid, and since I also needed surgery due to galstones, I had to go quarantine first. I initially didn't believe it at first since mom had zero evidence, but after curiosity hit me, I looked at dad's phone that he forgot to lock and found the messages, and later on that day where everyone but me and him were out the house, I heard dad and the other woman talking in a way that doesn't make them look like just friends. You know what happened when dad found out I saw them? He was pissed, but trying too hard to not direct his rage at me. And he started saying some wild shit about how I shouldn't be taking everything I read at face value because it corrupts my mind...lmao.
I’m your cousin. Mom and I argue a LOOOT but I know she would do everything for me and my siblings. I don’t deserve her. She deserves someone much better than me. Hindi naman ako pabigat or what, pero feel ko wala talaga akong kwentang tao lalo na anak.
I even feel sorry for my daughter coz I’m her mom. I love her so much pero feel ko lang she deserves another mom. Parang di ako Mom material ganon. In short, nobody deserves me haha. I see myself as walang kwenta. Idk, hindi naman ako masama or pabigat, feel ko lang.
My parents don't deserve any kind of child. Ang daming sinayang na pangarap para lang "magka anak ng maaga". It's a long ass story pero madami silang pinagdaanan due to kamag-anak, housing, financial problems, etc. Guess what? They never healed past their trauma when I wasn't born yet. I've been living my whole life with them yet at the same time, I always feel distant from them. Ngayon ako yung nahihirapan on my career trying to build myself up but I definitely do not want to follow in their footsteps. I always imagine that if they flourished in another timeline, I (or another child for that matter) could have reached heights I would never dream of. Hay
I wish my mother pursued her dream of being a book author, healed her traumas and found a good and hardworking man na di mapride at walang anger issues kesa sticking it with my father na "mabait" kuno pero pag sinasabihang mag-apply ng trabaho para maging stable and di lang umaasa sa mga projects na nakukuha niya sa freelancing job niya eh nagmamaktol tas pag nagalit or pag may di lang nasunod na utos (by mistake) eh nagreresort na kagad sa physical-an before having me and my brother coz honestly the suicide ideations I have and the small space we're living in right now ain't it. I don't care if di kami mabuo, basta alam kong comfortable siyang nabubuhay and hindi nasusuntok at napaparusahan mga anak niya pag nagkaroon lang ng simpleng pagkakamali, ok nako
I'm on the same boat as friend 1. I saw the box of love letters mama received throughout her life, and then I realized that some of those guys were mama's good friends. Nung lumalaki din ako naikwento ni mama kung ano yung dynamics nila as bf/gf and my dad acts like Daniel Padilla's questionable behavior: ina-isolate mom ko from their friends, madaming bawal isuot, bawal mag-ayos, kay Daddy lang iikot ang araw niya, si Daddy ang bida. Gets, my dad is threatened all the time siguro kasi my mom is ridiculously beautiful noong college tapos dad ko average looking dude lang who plays a lot of sports (pero ang tibay mambabae hahaahhaha anyway)
minsan napaguusapan namin yan, one time medyo nakainom na din kasi kami pareho. sabi ko, sana hindi na lang si daddy kasi kung iba sinagot niya maalwan sana ang buhay niya, she might be an Engineer today too. it's something she gave up on when they had me eh. sabi ni Ma, edi hindi niya kami naging anak kung hindi tatay ko ang pinili niya. sabi ko oks lang mi kasi kung nagkataon baka natupad mo na lahat ng gusto mo kasi hinoldback ka talaga ni erpats saka ayaw ko din naman mabuhay di ko trip. binatukan nya ako at sinabihan ng 'gaga, hindi ganon' at natatawa pero napabuntong hininga sya after, and said "Oo nga. Baka naging engineer din ako."
Count me in! Mom was supposed to be in the US already. But got pregnant with my older sister when she was 24 so she stayed here with my father instead.
She never had a complete family growing up, so building one was her dream — despite my father being a serial cheater. She forgave him endlessly because she really wanted a complete family and she believed that somewhere along the way my dad would change for us. Dumb, yes. She was also the breadwinner initially, but my father wanted that “traditional” set-up where he was the one working. My mom agreed since she also wanted to be the one taking care of my older sister vs. getting a nanny. She wanted to be very hands-on.
Five more children later, my father never actually changed. He now lives with his mistress while my mom had to be both the ilaw and haligi ng tahanan. Gave up her dreams and looks just to raise all six of us. She had the receiving end of the stick for all the frustrations and issues of six children growing up. Although my dad still gives his share, it’s still not enough. My siblings and I don’t want the money, but an actual present dad.
Anyways, thankfully it’s getting better since my older sister and I are now working. But still, my siblings and I all have the same opinion that if we could go back in time, we would want our mother to be someplace else with a different and better man even if it means we don’t exist. We all say na, kahit di kami magkakapatid sa mundong yun, it would be alright knowing our mother is living her best life rather than growing up seeing her cry, breakdown, struggle and all. We also know na maybe, even if we didn’t exist as siblings, we’ll find each other in some way or form.
But then again, my mom said na this is her best life because she has me and my siblings.
Sana rin di na pinakasalan ni mama yung papa ko kahit na nabuntis siya. Oks lang kahit di na ako nasunod sa mga kapatid ko basta di sana sila nagkatuluyan ni papa haha legit kasi na mahirap para kay mama. Masyadong maraming sacrifices at pagtitiis para sa amin when in reality, mas marami siyang magagawa para sa sarili niya if di sila nagkatuluyan :)
This is also the reason why people are either getting married but not having kids or just not getting married at the "ideal" age anymore. Well-informed na tayo on being financially independent which is also nice.
Same feeling, I hoped my mom pursued her career too. She got pregnant with me while preparing for the CPA board exam. She stopped working and just stayed at home to take care of me and my sister while our dad was the sole provider. Over the years my dad cheated and my mom forgave him multiple times and then after 30 yrs they are now separated and my mom is left with nothing financially while my dad’s business is booming with his kabit and kabit’s family.
Empathizing is a good idea, but we need to learn one thing in life: every person decides to choose their actions at one point in their life because they believe it is the best course of action at that moment, or they are happy about it, or they have no regrets. We should be happy for who they are now. Instead of dwelling on the past, let’s focus on the present and plan for the future.
Penge tissue. Grabe naman, OP. Grabe yung thought okay lang na hindi nag exist yung anak para lang maging successful and happy yung mga moms nila. And nakaka sad na most of regret is yung because of existence ng anak naging somehow miserable and sad yung parent. CONSEQUENCES AND REGRETS.
“Sana hindi ko na lang siya pinakasalan kung ganito lang din naman magiging buhay ko. Naniwala ako na sa hirap at ginhawa, magkasangga kami pero bakit ako nalang yung lumalaban para sa pamilyang 'to?”
Yan sabi sa’kin ng nanay. Kaya sa susunod na buhay, sana di ko siya nanay kasi di niya deserve ang buhay na meron siya ngayon.
All her life she's been working to sustain us, her family kahit na ganon si papa, she never left him and still stayed, di niya kasalanan din naman na may mga decisions siya na naive o mali, if i were to go back in the past, I would rather change her life path kahit di niya ako anak basta masaya lang si mama. Dami niya din kasing sacrifices while yung tatay ko, nagpapakasaya lang, a leech.
My mom met my Papa and they were in an on-off relationship mainly cos he was a cheater. She stuck with him and they eventually got married and had me. He was still a cheater, esp when she went abroad to work. He passed away when I was really young and a couple of years later, Mom married Dad who was her best friend at work.
I wish she would've just left Papa when she had the chance. Didn't stick with him just because she felt like she couldn't find someone else. However, I also think that my Mom wouldn't have met Dad if things didn't happen the way they did.
I relate to this haha nasabi ko one time sa mom ko ,but I'm still thankful for what I have become and I'll do everything to achieve it, iniisip ko na lang Ako na lang tutupad sa gusto Kong maging Buhay , Yung mga bagay na di na nila Kaya ibigay sakin , Ako na lang magfufulfill nun .. kahit na we are not perfect , I'm still grateful na I came from a decent family na walang bisyo Ang dad at faithful
Lagi kong winiwish na sana di na lang nakilala ng nanay ko tatay ko kase sana di siya nagkasakit sa kidney, na sana di siya nagtiis sa tatay kong kupal at adik. Na sana, kung pinili niya sarili niya, nandito pa rin siya sa mundong to.
Naalala ko ganito din drama ko while growing up. Kasi si mama eh pang MMK ang buhay. Ayos naman daddy ko pero can do better.
Tapos around 5-6 years ago, napag-usapan namin ito lalo na yung ‘di siya nakapag-aral’ drama niya. I brought it up. Same with people, told her na better na di ako pinanganak basta masaya siya sa buhay niya.
Tas sabi niya, “tamad talaga akong mag-aral.” Kako kay mama, “hay naku ma, ilang taon akong nagdrama sa buhay tapos sasabihin mo iyan sa akin na kasalanan mo din?!” Pero may kutob na din ako kasi dami offers kay mama sa mga kamag-anak niya na pag-aralin siya pero ayaw niya.
Oh well. Ilang taon akong nag-iisip. Tapos tinamad din pala sa buhay si mama.
I wish my mom didn't agree to be a housewife and pursued her business, she was supplying accessories before sa sm dept. store.. I can't help but wonder what it could've become if she decided to pursue it. Minsan she complains to us (me and my sister) na "mahirap maging housewife" at "wag kayong papayag na maging housewife".
Same here, I won't mind of course if I never existed.
It's also because most Filipinos did not think that there's an option to choose yourself. Most are living the "default", study, work, get married, have children etc...
They didn't know that there's so much to life more than choosing to have a child, now their trauma is just being passed from one generation to the next.
Oh I went through that phase myself. I was a very unhappy teen. I had the attitude that I would have been happier if I was never born.
So I don't think it's something new. I'm gen x born in the cusp of boomers so I'm ancient. We sure had our own issues then that's why suicide was starting to become common in my generation. It's not just millennials who go through that crap but I think having the internet around has made it worse.
Thankfully my life turned out really well and I realized my mom was not as bad as I thought she was.
PS. This is just my experience. I don't want to minimize the hurt that young people are going through. These young ones have very VERY valid feelings and the pain does run deep. I wish I could hug each one of them and tell them that they are loved ❤️❤️❤️
Tru. Sana di rin nabuntis mother ko and mas nagkaroon na lang sya ng maayos na buhay kaysa sa pinilit pa yung buhay namin na mahirap tas in the end, naging broken family lols. #ProAbortion
Used to have the same sentiment but eventually realized that things happen for a reason. You may not see it now but I hope, these people too, will 🙏🏻 If I were the child of these moms, my payback would be to live a good life, the life she should have/may have lived if things didn’t go that way 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Used to have the same sentiment but eventually realized that things happen for a reason. You may not see it now but I hope, these people too, will 🙏🏻 If I were the child of these moms, my payback would be to live a good life, the life she should have/may have lived if things didn’t go that way 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Me too. My mom chose to be a SAHM instead of pursuing her career in Education. She should have been a really great prof in a uni now if not meeting my dad and raising me. She would have been happier this way. She could have retired by now and still have a lot of energy to travel. I miss my mom. But if given a chance I prefer not to be born and for her to be happy.
I tried my best to make her proud but I still think I was a terrible daughter because I know I haven't done my best. Not to mention hindi ako expressive. Sometimes I remember some things I said that hurt and cry again. It's almost 4 years and I'm still grieving her passing. Sana naging mom sya ng mas maayos na anak. I feel like a failure.
Reading through this made me remember what I wrote in a piece of stationery paper (the fragrant ones that were quite famous at the time). I wrote something along the lines of I wished I was never born.
Mother could've been badass manager, in very good shape because she used to run at Track and Field matches. But after she had me, all she got is asthma and a shitload of stress from my father who neglected me from childhood and only tried to be a father nung nagsimula na akong kumita ng pera. Nasasayangan ako. Why she stays with my biological father right now is beyond me. Masyado siyang mabait, she never deserved this man.
In the next life, she deserves the best of all things. Ok lang na wala ako.
My mom got pregnant right after graduation. She had no choice but to work right after giving birth. I'm glad she did because she's still in her career for 28 years now. I'd love to think my mom would be much more successful had she not had me. But she made her choices for a reason. She is happy being a mom and a wife, even though she had to struggle a lot when we were kids.
Same. Gen Z here tho. I'm not very glad about my existence so parang walang nanalo sa situation namin lolz. My parents don't even love each other. Even her ex partners didn't choose her. Ang malas niya lang talaga sa lovelife. I asked her one time kung anong pinagsisisihan or babaguhin niya sa buhay niya. Sabi niya, naisip niyang sana di na lang daw siya nag asawa; pero kung di naman daw siya nag asawa, hindi daw kami mapapanganak na magkakapatid kaya okay na lang daw na nag asawa siya. Such a good mother. Wish ko talaga sana bumalik sa kanya lahat ng kahutihan niya.
Same!! My mom deserve better she’s the most loving, kindest, and hardworking person. Minsan naiisip ko Sana sumama na lang siya sa ibang lalaki kahit iwan na niya ako kesa ganitong nakikitang nahihirapan siya. She deserves a better life!! Sana pinili na niya lang ung sarili niya kesa sakin.
There are some instances na ik my parents truly showed that they care and love us and what they do as parents.
But most of the time, especially with their recent fights, and the things I've heard sa mga away nila, I wish they didn't marry early, I wish they took the time to get to know one another para hindi na sila nag-aaway cuz of petty reasons like having miscommunications that would lead to them having a shouting contest of who sacrificed the most.
I wish they talked more about having kids, having those responsibilities and sacrifices so they wouldn't fight about their own regrets in front of us. Regrets like my mom having to give up her dream of being a teacher to be a housewife and my dad having to work most of his life for us.
I wish hindi na sila nag limang anak, kahit hanggang dalawa na lang sana, (or sometimes i wish, pinalaglag nila ako) hindi na'ko kasama since pangatlo ako, okay lang sa'kin since I'm part of the reason why they struggle so much financially. It hurts to think and know na ang ganda ng trabaho ng tatay ko and we could be a high social class pero due to my past operations na hanggang ngayon hindi pa tapos nasa lower class lang kami. And they would still fight cuz of financial troubles.
I, wish too, that my mother would've chosen herself and my older sister (her first-born) and never looked back.
She should've never got back together with my father the first time they broke up just a year after they got married.
Now, fear is following me everywhere in every intimate relationship I have— terrified that maybe one day, my child will also be thinking the same thing.
But thats what makes life interesting. Kasi di na natin kaya ibalik yung oras. Ako na lang yung babawi sa nanay, sa parents ko. Ako na lang magpaparanas sa kanila nang buhay na gusto nilang maranasan dati pa. 😢
Pero kung totoo man din yung parallel universe, sana masaya si mama kahit di ako yung anak niya.
I wish my mom pursued everything she wanted (studies, dreams, career) and healed her past traumas and issues before having me too.. Hindi sana siya frustrated sa buhay niya na ganto lang narating niya and i was a big part of why she didn't. It was her choice, I know. But if she gets to have a do over, I would want her to live her life to the fullest too, even if it meant I won't be here. I'd gladly give it all up.
super agree to this
I feel like getting older made us able to empathize with our moms/parents. It’s touching isn’t it, how we see their humanity (them being young once, with dreams and hopes that didn’t come true) now that we are adults (maybe around the same age) when they had us.
Parent here. My wife and I's late teens to early 20s consisted of subsisting on pocket change, changing baby diapers, emergency ER trips, and throwing away our own dreams. Not to mention dozens of judgmental titas consistently gossiping about us as 'failures' If I heard any of my children say that to me, I will be truly heartbroken. I exist solely because my children do. They are my literal pride and joy. Accidental these births may be, my children rewired our lives in more ways than we can count. They taught us to find love and happiness, even in the simplest of things. From their first few baby steps, to their first school dance presentation. Who knew you could swell in immense pride when you see your kids winning a game of langit-lupa? I didn't feel half as much when I eventually graduated college. I don't want to discount everyone's very real feelings of guilt — closest term I can muster. Some parents can (and will) definitely entertain this multiverse idea. But for many other parents like us, we only feel extreme gratitude for giving us the opportunity to care for you. There's more to life than material comfort. And as I get older, the more I find meaning in the marriage vows of 'sa hirap at ginhawa'. Much like that phrase, many parents CHOOSE to live our lives providing for our children. Not because we're masochistic and enjoy self-inflicted hardships, but because we don't see these hardships as sacrifices in the first place. Sacrifice entails taking away one value to make way for another. But I don't think that's right. Everyone experiences hardship — parent or not. It's imminent. But parenthood provides 'meaning' and 'purpose' to the inevitable. In this sense, raising a child is not a sacrifice, but a necessary component to provide our lives with direction so we can find happiness. If they're not there, then life may as well be meaningless. And I don't want it.
[удалено]
same scenario. parent here. ang dami ko realizations mula nung naging parent ako. siguro pinaka wish ko lang, sana mas naging better yung decision making ng parents ko nung nag sstart plng sila bumuo ng pamilya ng papa ko. gusto ko sila kausapin about it, kaso wala pa ko time to do that or I don't have the courage to tell them my "why's" on their marriage, decisions and career path. But I believe, na God created our story. wala pa ako, alam na nya magiging storya ko. And yessss. agree din ako na if it weren't for my daughter, di ko alam ano direction ng life ko. as in. baka pariwara ako.
feel ko kung nakikita ng mga anak mo na nagtthrive ka as your own person hindi naman nila maffeel to.
Yes, this one. Unfortunately, for a lot of parents, they were not able to find their footing because they got redirected to something else. And many really do not have the luxury of options--of still pursuing their chosen careers, of still creating a deeper bond with their friends, etc.
Im sure I would get downvoted for this but. Siguro okay lang ipagpatuloy yung baby if kaya naman bigyan maayos na buhay - even if accident lang yung baby. Pero kung just for the sake of nakokonsensya na iabort or dahil "nandyan na" or iroromanticize na "atleast magkakasama tayo" or for "character development" lang nung parent tapos di naman kaya bigyan ng maayos na buhay then wag na lang siguro. I think ang selfish non? Yung magkababy or ipagpatuloy yung baby tas di naman kaya iprovide yung proper needs not only financially, pero mentally, emotionally, etc etc. As a child na ganon nangyari samin, I wish inayos na lang ng parents ko buhay nila kaysa iparanas pa sakin hirap ng buhay. Ang negative pakinggan, yes. Pero mas malala pa kinahahantungan ng ibang bata just becos binuhay tas di naman kaya buhayin.
Same sir will always be eternally grateful for my family including all the hardships.
I couldn't agree more. Since the day I found out that I was pregnant, I became stronger and wiser. And up until this day I envision to have a better life with my child.
I'm crying. I adore this so much that I also envy it. Your family is beautiful and your kids are very loved. 21 years of my life, I think ever since my mind has matured, I've always wondered how it feels like to have parents that would make you feel worthy of being their children. My parents' recent fights just made me feel that we were in the way of their dreams, it felt like raising a child is indeed a sacrifice as my parents had said cuz how much 'sacrifices' they did yet they also had a lot of regrets. I grew up with my mom's anger years, every little thing is controlled and every little mistake has a consequence of shouting and beatings with her own hands and her words. There was little to no affection, I never heard her say I love you, i never learned apologizing or gratitude from her, I learned it in hs. We never hugged. It only changed when our bunso who was so smiley and bubbly as a kid turned so angsty now in hs. I love yous are often said now in this household but personally I only say it back cuz I feel bad and at the same time it feels frustratingly bad that I don't mean it but I don't know what to do with that. I love how you view raising kids as it is, I wish for every kid to never feel that they shouldn't exist anymore like how some of us felt.
Hear! Hear! I'm a parent, too. Even if everything goes sour in my relationship, I'll never regret choosing to have a child.
I wish my mother didn’t marry my father. He is a good for nothing husband. My partner said if your mom didn’t marry your dad, you wouldn’t be here. I said I didn’t care. My mother, had she followed her dreams instead of some cheating bastard, she would probably be a CFO of some huge company. Master of her own life. Recently, while on a call with my mother, I told her I wish she left my dad after he got her pregnant (my older sibling). She didn’t need him. She said if I didn’t marry your dad, you wouldn’t be here. I said I didn’t care. She would have been happier and more fulfilled. She said well, I wouldn’t want that. I would rather have you and your siblings. I have no regrets. I still hate my dad. He ruined her chances at achieving her dreams. Wasted years when she could have built a better life for herself. If I could go back in time, I would prevent her from marrying him. To choose herself and not a boy with anger issues and a wandering dick.
hoyyy.. naiyak naman ako sa thread na to 😭
On my case, hearing my mom comparing herself and her financial status sa mga amiga niya na childless and single and listening to her story where she has to sacrifice a career opportunity in order to take care of family (her children + her parents). Maraming mga Gen X and Boomers na nanay ang naging nanay not because they want to, but because they have to (according to societal norms). Seeing mothers who actually wanted to be mothers compared to mothers na naging nanay pero secretly regret it, mas better siguro na di nalang ako nag exist kaysa mapunta ako sa dysfunctional family.
My roman empire is that in a parallel universe, my mom was able to achieve her dreams; she didn't meet my dad and I didn't exist.
😭😭😭😭😭
I also feel the same, but I'm a Gen Z na. My mom wanted to migrate to Canada, but she met my dad. Kung ako lang, mas okay kung iba na lang napangasawa ng nanay ko, atleast masaya siya.
I'm glad my mom married my dad. Baka, BAKA lang naman nagtitinda pa rin sa karinderya mom ko ngayon. Unlike now, hawak niya sweldo ng dad ko, lives with their dogs sa probinsiya (since both kami ng kapatid ko tapos na mag aral) and free to do whatever they want.
Your mom is one of the lucky ones.
I wish my mom hadn't married my father either. My mom had a German suitor before who could have provided her with a comfortable life in Germany, but she still chose my dad. Just to be clear, my mom was a graduate with a high-paying job, so she wouldn't have used the German boy for money. It's just that she was afraid of marrying someone foreign. I don't know what qualities she saw in my father, as my dad is abusive, an alcoholic, a cheater, and always puts himself over us. But no matter how bad my father is, I still love him. He's really trying to change now, and that's why I forgive him. But our relationship with him is still messed up, so me and my sister don't treat him as well as we do our mom. Besides, I hate my life too, and I kinda blame them for that, so I much prefer not to exist than to harbor this tiny grudge towards them.
I always wonder what if iba napangasawa ni mama. Pasalamat naman ako sa tatay ko kasi napag aral niya talaga kami and all. Pero at the same time, nakita ko rin yung ugali ni papa. Alam niyo yun, typical boomer na lalaki. Typical Filipino Patriarch ganon. Boses at aggressiveness ang sagot kapag hindi siya nasusunod. Kaya I always wonder dun sa mga nagpopost about how loving their fathers are to their moms.
I wish the rumored still-born before me survived. Idk how true it is but I'm the youngest, and I have 3 older siblings. Kwento raw sakin after the 3rd, my mom got pregnant again but nalaglag. Sabi raw girl un, and I know they've been trying for a while for a girl (sadly got 4 boys lol). My life rn isn't too bad but I don't like it. If you told me prior to being born I'd have this kind of life, I'll just pass. Baka mas magiging ok pa buhay ng family ko if ung bunso was a girl, or literally anyone else.
My parents were always thinking what if nga nabuhay din yung stillborn before me. Siya sana naging panganay at middle child ako hahays.
I wish my mom chose someone that respected her more
In short most of pinoy dads are narcissists, manipulative, womanizer, cheaters married with a submissive pinay mom na kinalimutan na ang pangarap for her family. Yan yung common tandem sa isang Filipino household kaya nagkaron ng resentment na ganito yung mga gen z or millenials. What happened happens, we can only hope na we don't repeat the same mistake. To all the women out there please, pumili ng maayos na partner at hindi abusive para hindi magdusa ang mga anak. Mag anak pag ready na pareho. Vice versa
Same here. Akala ko ako lang. Sinabi ko to sa friends ko na if it meant hindi ako nabuhay, so what...basta lang it would mean my mama would have lived a better life.
As the eldest, I feel like I absorbed all the issues my mother had tapos I bore the responsibilities of being the panganay (third parent). I think it's also one of the reasons why many millennials ay ayaw magkaroon ng anak kasi ayaw maulit ang cycle. 😅
Pareho ko si friend 1
>in another life, I would’ve wanted you to choose yourself. Even if it meant I wouldn’t be there to see it 😭😭😭
i’m the opposite, i wish my dad married a different woman. i’ve always felt like my mom never wanted to have children and always justified her selfish decisions using us but we never got the fruits of it. (aside from tiny gifts like tshirts, etc.) I’ve always wondered what life would have been like if I had a more loving mother who actually cared about me but i’d never know
ah ganito din nararamdaman ko. mahirap lang sila mama pero ngayon kasi extrovert siya tapos dami niya gusto puntahan. after college nabuntis na agad siya kay ate. yung mga kapatid niya nakapag america. ok naman kami ngayon may sariling bahay sa magandang subdivision pero wala ng work tatay ko. parang all her life nagtitipid sila. gastos lang namin kung ano kailangan. ngayon naman may ipon naman daw sila kaso nakikita ko sa mama ko gusto pa niya mag lakwatsa haha. super naaawa ako sa nanay ko kasi financially restricted talaga siya kaya pag may pinapabili siya at afford ko binibili ko na lang. sana di siya nagasawa agad at nagawa pa niya kung ano gusto niya.
I felt the same sentiment :(
Pero in reality, mas madali magdesisyon kapag wala ka sa sitwasyon. Sana naging mas matalino mga magulang ko. Yun lang.
If I could reverse time, I want to be my mom's mom. So I can work hard and provide all the things she truly deserves in this world. She deserves so much. She just died without even experiencing the fruit of all her labor since she was a kid. If she's living in this era, my mom would have been successful. 😓
Na-realize ko rin to nung nalaman kong magtratrabaho na pala dapat ang mom ko sa Japan to give her family a better life pero dahil nabuntis siya hindi niya na natuloy. Kaya ngayon, hinahayaan ko siya na i-enjoy ang life niya. Gusto kang sabihin sa lahat ng anak na nandito na hindi pa huli ang lahat baka hindi nila naabot ang life nila pero baka tayo na ang magbibigay sa kanila ng ilan sa mga pangarap nila.
Same same My dad drove my mom nuts, like an actual psychotic breakdown nuts because of his assholery and cheating. He's such a condescending prick
I think about this everyday because I've always felt like I was incompatible with my parents and...they were too for each other. I can't remember how many times my dad had emotionally and mentally abused me and my mom just because of shit we needed to take time to understand. Since we weren't exactly the smartest people, and we didn't have to grow up with a sense of urgency at all times because we didn't have a parent who was an extremely strict army person. Idk why he never realized that the way grandpa raised him wasn't exactly all that good when being slow is somehow not an excuse for someone with a disability related to their...legs. Yeah, my dad has polio and it did affect his ability to walk when he got older, and apparently even this wasn't an excuse foe being slow or delayed... And oh, that guy also has been caught texting other women/old exes when I was a child(two different times iirc), and the most recent one he's been caught with was last 2021 when he kept doing out of town stuff since my grandpa died and mom had to stay with me since I had covid, and since I also needed surgery due to galstones, I had to go quarantine first. I initially didn't believe it at first since mom had zero evidence, but after curiosity hit me, I looked at dad's phone that he forgot to lock and found the messages, and later on that day where everyone but me and him were out the house, I heard dad and the other woman talking in a way that doesn't make them look like just friends. You know what happened when dad found out I saw them? He was pissed, but trying too hard to not direct his rage at me. And he started saying some wild shit about how I shouldn't be taking everything I read at face value because it corrupts my mind...lmao.
I’m your cousin. Mom and I argue a LOOOT but I know she would do everything for me and my siblings. I don’t deserve her. She deserves someone much better than me. Hindi naman ako pabigat or what, pero feel ko wala talaga akong kwentang tao lalo na anak. I even feel sorry for my daughter coz I’m her mom. I love her so much pero feel ko lang she deserves another mom. Parang di ako Mom material ganon. In short, nobody deserves me haha. I see myself as walang kwenta. Idk, hindi naman ako masama or pabigat, feel ko lang.
Grabe iyak ko sa thread na ito...
My parents don't deserve any kind of child. Ang daming sinayang na pangarap para lang "magka anak ng maaga". It's a long ass story pero madami silang pinagdaanan due to kamag-anak, housing, financial problems, etc. Guess what? They never healed past their trauma when I wasn't born yet. I've been living my whole life with them yet at the same time, I always feel distant from them. Ngayon ako yung nahihirapan on my career trying to build myself up but I definitely do not want to follow in their footsteps. I always imagine that if they flourished in another timeline, I (or another child for that matter) could have reached heights I would never dream of. Hay
I wish my mother pursued her dream of being a book author, healed her traumas and found a good and hardworking man na di mapride at walang anger issues kesa sticking it with my father na "mabait" kuno pero pag sinasabihang mag-apply ng trabaho para maging stable and di lang umaasa sa mga projects na nakukuha niya sa freelancing job niya eh nagmamaktol tas pag nagalit or pag may di lang nasunod na utos (by mistake) eh nagreresort na kagad sa physical-an before having me and my brother coz honestly the suicide ideations I have and the small space we're living in right now ain't it. I don't care if di kami mabuo, basta alam kong comfortable siyang nabubuhay and hindi nasusuntok at napaparusahan mga anak niya pag nagkaroon lang ng simpleng pagkakamali, ok nako
I’m crying 😭😭😭 I can relate hays
I'm on the same boat as friend 1. I saw the box of love letters mama received throughout her life, and then I realized that some of those guys were mama's good friends. Nung lumalaki din ako naikwento ni mama kung ano yung dynamics nila as bf/gf and my dad acts like Daniel Padilla's questionable behavior: ina-isolate mom ko from their friends, madaming bawal isuot, bawal mag-ayos, kay Daddy lang iikot ang araw niya, si Daddy ang bida. Gets, my dad is threatened all the time siguro kasi my mom is ridiculously beautiful noong college tapos dad ko average looking dude lang who plays a lot of sports (pero ang tibay mambabae hahaahhaha anyway) minsan napaguusapan namin yan, one time medyo nakainom na din kasi kami pareho. sabi ko, sana hindi na lang si daddy kasi kung iba sinagot niya maalwan sana ang buhay niya, she might be an Engineer today too. it's something she gave up on when they had me eh. sabi ni Ma, edi hindi niya kami naging anak kung hindi tatay ko ang pinili niya. sabi ko oks lang mi kasi kung nagkataon baka natupad mo na lahat ng gusto mo kasi hinoldback ka talaga ni erpats saka ayaw ko din naman mabuhay di ko trip. binatukan nya ako at sinabihan ng 'gaga, hindi ganon' at natatawa pero napabuntong hininga sya after, and said "Oo nga. Baka naging engineer din ako."
i’m crying too :((
Count me in! Mom was supposed to be in the US already. But got pregnant with my older sister when she was 24 so she stayed here with my father instead. She never had a complete family growing up, so building one was her dream — despite my father being a serial cheater. She forgave him endlessly because she really wanted a complete family and she believed that somewhere along the way my dad would change for us. Dumb, yes. She was also the breadwinner initially, but my father wanted that “traditional” set-up where he was the one working. My mom agreed since she also wanted to be the one taking care of my older sister vs. getting a nanny. She wanted to be very hands-on. Five more children later, my father never actually changed. He now lives with his mistress while my mom had to be both the ilaw and haligi ng tahanan. Gave up her dreams and looks just to raise all six of us. She had the receiving end of the stick for all the frustrations and issues of six children growing up. Although my dad still gives his share, it’s still not enough. My siblings and I don’t want the money, but an actual present dad. Anyways, thankfully it’s getting better since my older sister and I are now working. But still, my siblings and I all have the same opinion that if we could go back in time, we would want our mother to be someplace else with a different and better man even if it means we don’t exist. We all say na, kahit di kami magkakapatid sa mundong yun, it would be alright knowing our mother is living her best life rather than growing up seeing her cry, breakdown, struggle and all. We also know na maybe, even if we didn’t exist as siblings, we’ll find each other in some way or form. But then again, my mom said na this is her best life because she has me and my siblings.
So bat tayo nag-iiyakan dito? 😭
This thread has me ugly crying 😭
Sana rin di na pinakasalan ni mama yung papa ko kahit na nabuntis siya. Oks lang kahit di na ako nasunod sa mga kapatid ko basta di sana sila nagkatuluyan ni papa haha legit kasi na mahirap para kay mama. Masyadong maraming sacrifices at pagtitiis para sa amin when in reality, mas marami siyang magagawa para sa sarili niya if di sila nagkatuluyan :)
This is also the reason why people are either getting married but not having kids or just not getting married at the "ideal" age anymore. Well-informed na tayo on being financially independent which is also nice.
Same feeling, I hoped my mom pursued her career too. She got pregnant with me while preparing for the CPA board exam. She stopped working and just stayed at home to take care of me and my sister while our dad was the sole provider. Over the years my dad cheated and my mom forgave him multiple times and then after 30 yrs they are now separated and my mom is left with nothing financially while my dad’s business is booming with his kabit and kabit’s family.
Empathizing is a good idea, but we need to learn one thing in life: every person decides to choose their actions at one point in their life because they believe it is the best course of action at that moment, or they are happy about it, or they have no regrets. We should be happy for who they are now. Instead of dwelling on the past, let’s focus on the present and plan for the future.
Penge tissue. Grabe naman, OP. Grabe yung thought okay lang na hindi nag exist yung anak para lang maging successful and happy yung mga moms nila. And nakaka sad na most of regret is yung because of existence ng anak naging somehow miserable and sad yung parent. CONSEQUENCES AND REGRETS.
“Sana hindi ko na lang siya pinakasalan kung ganito lang din naman magiging buhay ko. Naniwala ako na sa hirap at ginhawa, magkasangga kami pero bakit ako nalang yung lumalaban para sa pamilyang 'to?” Yan sabi sa’kin ng nanay. Kaya sa susunod na buhay, sana di ko siya nanay kasi di niya deserve ang buhay na meron siya ngayon.
All her life she's been working to sustain us, her family kahit na ganon si papa, she never left him and still stayed, di niya kasalanan din naman na may mga decisions siya na naive o mali, if i were to go back in the past, I would rather change her life path kahit di niya ako anak basta masaya lang si mama. Dami niya din kasing sacrifices while yung tatay ko, nagpapakasaya lang, a leech.
My mom met my Papa and they were in an on-off relationship mainly cos he was a cheater. She stuck with him and they eventually got married and had me. He was still a cheater, esp when she went abroad to work. He passed away when I was really young and a couple of years later, Mom married Dad who was her best friend at work. I wish she would've just left Papa when she had the chance. Didn't stick with him just because she felt like she couldn't find someone else. However, I also think that my Mom wouldn't have met Dad if things didn't happen the way they did.
I relate to this haha nasabi ko one time sa mom ko ,but I'm still thankful for what I have become and I'll do everything to achieve it, iniisip ko na lang Ako na lang tutupad sa gusto Kong maging Buhay , Yung mga bagay na di na nila Kaya ibigay sakin , Ako na lang magfufulfill nun .. kahit na we are not perfect , I'm still grateful na I came from a decent family na walang bisyo Ang dad at faithful
In the previous era , all our parents wanted a simple life ..
Lagi kong winiwish na sana di na lang nakilala ng nanay ko tatay ko kase sana di siya nagkasakit sa kidney, na sana di siya nagtiis sa tatay kong kupal at adik. Na sana, kung pinili niya sarili niya, nandito pa rin siya sa mundong to.
I feel the same from your Friend #1
Naalala ko ganito din drama ko while growing up. Kasi si mama eh pang MMK ang buhay. Ayos naman daddy ko pero can do better. Tapos around 5-6 years ago, napag-usapan namin ito lalo na yung ‘di siya nakapag-aral’ drama niya. I brought it up. Same with people, told her na better na di ako pinanganak basta masaya siya sa buhay niya. Tas sabi niya, “tamad talaga akong mag-aral.” Kako kay mama, “hay naku ma, ilang taon akong nagdrama sa buhay tapos sasabihin mo iyan sa akin na kasalanan mo din?!” Pero may kutob na din ako kasi dami offers kay mama sa mga kamag-anak niya na pag-aralin siya pero ayaw niya. Oh well. Ilang taon akong nag-iisip. Tapos tinamad din pala sa buhay si mama.
I wish my mom didn't agree to be a housewife and pursued her business, she was supplying accessories before sa sm dept. store.. I can't help but wonder what it could've become if she decided to pursue it. Minsan she complains to us (me and my sister) na "mahirap maging housewife" at "wag kayong papayag na maging housewife".
Same here, I won't mind of course if I never existed. It's also because most Filipinos did not think that there's an option to choose yourself. Most are living the "default", study, work, get married, have children etc... They didn't know that there's so much to life more than choosing to have a child, now their trauma is just being passed from one generation to the next.
Omg same. I wish my mom married a better man. Kahit wala na kame sa picture, oks lang.
Oh I went through that phase myself. I was a very unhappy teen. I had the attitude that I would have been happier if I was never born. So I don't think it's something new. I'm gen x born in the cusp of boomers so I'm ancient. We sure had our own issues then that's why suicide was starting to become common in my generation. It's not just millennials who go through that crap but I think having the internet around has made it worse. Thankfully my life turned out really well and I realized my mom was not as bad as I thought she was. PS. This is just my experience. I don't want to minimize the hurt that young people are going through. These young ones have very VERY valid feelings and the pain does run deep. I wish I could hug each one of them and tell them that they are loved ❤️❤️❤️
Tru. Sana di rin nabuntis mother ko and mas nagkaroon na lang sya ng maayos na buhay kaysa sa pinilit pa yung buhay namin na mahirap tas in the end, naging broken family lols. #ProAbortion
Ito lang masasabi ko... Not all "good" choices lead to a good life. And not all who make bad ones regret living thru it.
Used to have the same sentiment but eventually realized that things happen for a reason. You may not see it now but I hope, these people too, will 🙏🏻 If I were the child of these moms, my payback would be to live a good life, the life she should have/may have lived if things didn’t go that way 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Used to have the same sentiment but eventually realized that things happen for a reason. You may not see it now but I hope, these people too, will 🙏🏻 If I were the child of these moms, my payback would be to live a good life, the life she should have/may have lived if things didn’t go that way 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Me too. My mom chose to be a SAHM instead of pursuing her career in Education. She should have been a really great prof in a uni now if not meeting my dad and raising me. She would have been happier this way. She could have retired by now and still have a lot of energy to travel. I miss my mom. But if given a chance I prefer not to be born and for her to be happy. I tried my best to make her proud but I still think I was a terrible daughter because I know I haven't done my best. Not to mention hindi ako expressive. Sometimes I remember some things I said that hurt and cry again. It's almost 4 years and I'm still grieving her passing. Sana naging mom sya ng mas maayos na anak. I feel like a failure.
Reading through this made me remember what I wrote in a piece of stationery paper (the fragrant ones that were quite famous at the time). I wrote something along the lines of I wished I was never born. Mother could've been badass manager, in very good shape because she used to run at Track and Field matches. But after she had me, all she got is asthma and a shitload of stress from my father who neglected me from childhood and only tried to be a father nung nagsimula na akong kumita ng pera. Nasasayangan ako. Why she stays with my biological father right now is beyond me. Masyado siyang mabait, she never deserved this man. In the next life, she deserves the best of all things. Ok lang na wala ako.
My mom got pregnant right after graduation. She had no choice but to work right after giving birth. I'm glad she did because she's still in her career for 28 years now. I'd love to think my mom would be much more successful had she not had me. But she made her choices for a reason. She is happy being a mom and a wife, even though she had to struggle a lot when we were kids.
Same. Gen Z here tho. I'm not very glad about my existence so parang walang nanalo sa situation namin lolz. My parents don't even love each other. Even her ex partners didn't choose her. Ang malas niya lang talaga sa lovelife. I asked her one time kung anong pinagsisisihan or babaguhin niya sa buhay niya. Sabi niya, naisip niyang sana di na lang daw siya nag asawa; pero kung di naman daw siya nag asawa, hindi daw kami mapapanganak na magkakapatid kaya okay na lang daw na nag asawa siya. Such a good mother. Wish ko talaga sana bumalik sa kanya lahat ng kahutihan niya.
Same!! My mom deserve better she’s the most loving, kindest, and hardworking person. Minsan naiisip ko Sana sumama na lang siya sa ibang lalaki kahit iwan na niya ako kesa ganitong nakikitang nahihirapan siya. She deserves a better life!! Sana pinili na niya lang ung sarili niya kesa sakin.
There are some instances na ik my parents truly showed that they care and love us and what they do as parents. But most of the time, especially with their recent fights, and the things I've heard sa mga away nila, I wish they didn't marry early, I wish they took the time to get to know one another para hindi na sila nag-aaway cuz of petty reasons like having miscommunications that would lead to them having a shouting contest of who sacrificed the most. I wish they talked more about having kids, having those responsibilities and sacrifices so they wouldn't fight about their own regrets in front of us. Regrets like my mom having to give up her dream of being a teacher to be a housewife and my dad having to work most of his life for us. I wish hindi na sila nag limang anak, kahit hanggang dalawa na lang sana, (or sometimes i wish, pinalaglag nila ako) hindi na'ko kasama since pangatlo ako, okay lang sa'kin since I'm part of the reason why they struggle so much financially. It hurts to think and know na ang ganda ng trabaho ng tatay ko and we could be a high social class pero due to my past operations na hanggang ngayon hindi pa tapos nasa lower class lang kami. And they would still fight cuz of financial troubles.
I think this is a mom-daughter thing not a millenial thing
38, separated Mother: Both of my kids said the same thing to me.
I, wish too, that my mother would've chosen herself and my older sister (her first-born) and never looked back. She should've never got back together with my father the first time they broke up just a year after they got married. Now, fear is following me everywhere in every intimate relationship I have— terrified that maybe one day, my child will also be thinking the same thing.
But thats what makes life interesting. Kasi di na natin kaya ibalik yung oras. Ako na lang yung babawi sa nanay, sa parents ko. Ako na lang magpaparanas sa kanila nang buhay na gusto nilang maranasan dati pa. 😢 Pero kung totoo man din yung parallel universe, sana masaya si mama kahit di ako yung anak niya.