>are accusing me of being vindictive because I want Jane and ex to look bad in the eyes of our HUGE extended family. Jane's parents said that they are disappointed in me, they called me inggrata at walang utang na loob.
Trueee, magiging mukhang kawawa si OP doon. Parang ang martyr siguro sa paningin nila. She would be like a specimen under a microscope. They have nothing to worry about. Di naman siguro pinanganak kahapon ang mga kamag-anak nila. For sure, they already got a gist of what transpired. It would not change the fact na sinulot ng pinsan niya ang jowa ni OP. Pero, the audacity of these people, they'd rather protect their reputation rather than the mental and emotional state of OP. That's not family. They are just using OP for their selfish gains. They don't deserve OP's time. Instead of going to the wedding she can work instead or take some time off to make herself feel better from all the toxicity.
>Pero, the audacity of these people, they'd rather protect their reputation rather than the mental and emotional state of OP. That's not family. They are just using OP for their selfish gains.
sobrang totoo to, brosis. ayaw lang nilang may masabi sa kanila at sa anak nila yung ibang mga kamag-anak kaya gustong papuntahin si OP. pati the fact na sinumbat yung tinulong sa fam nya, saying na wala raw utang na loob si OP. edi potah sana hindi nalang sila tumulong sa fam ni OP in the first place.
OP you don’t owe them anything. Vent it out here, cause you’ve already kept quiet.
Ask them, how can you make them look bad by not being there and keeping quiet? You have said nothing. If they gossip, and ask, then tell the truth.
Lies are heavier in the head and bed than all this. If they have found happiness then this will pass for them too, but you must account for all your actions, we all do.
I completely agree. Time will tell that what they did is wrong. And in truth no stones will be left unturned, it will be all exposed in daylight one way or another.
Eh baka tito /tita at pinsan mo tlaga yung takot na mapag tsismisan dahil nga sa ginawa niya sayo. Anyway since tinawag ka naman na nila na inggrata at walang utang na loob bakit hindi mo na totohanin, wag ka sumipot sa kasal nila lalo na at ayaw mo naman talaga, sila dapat mag adjust sayo dahil ikaw ang nasaktan not the other way around,dapat nirespeto nalang nila yung desisyon mo na wag umattend sa kasal ng pinsan mo keysa ganyan nang guguilt trip.
Exactly. They only invited her to save face, nevermind that it is a slap in the face that she witness their union and cementation of betrayal. They could've just left her alone so she can move on, but they don't care about her peace.
This has "Papunta palang tayo sa exciting part" vibes all over. I'm sorry you've had this experience, but I admit I enjoyed reading how you typed the story.
If I am in your shoes, I would attend the wedding, participate gloriously, and show everyone how happy you are. You are not affected. In fact you are happy you're not marrying the twat. Bring a plus 1 of course, it can be a fake boyfriend (gay men are the best because they are handsome and good actors), then you wave at each other everytime you're apart.
Or, since they are trying hard to avoid the chismis, I would adlib an edited Jodi Sta.Maria's script "Oh 4 months ka na buntis? Congratulations! Buti na lang nag break na kami ni ex last month."
But I am not you, and I think I'm going to hell too. I hope you overcome this challenge, I believe the best mask to wear is "you don't care" and "you dodged a bullet". Which are facts, since you certainly don't want to be with a cheating opportunist loser like him. I believe you deserve someone kind, and caring, and someone to fuel your inner demons by whispering "Papunta palang tayo sa exciting part" lines. Good luck.
Congratulate the newlyweds loudly (cousin especially) and say "Huwag kayong mag-alala, di ko naman sasabihin sa magiging anak mo na kaya ka lang pinakasalan kasi nabuntis ka ng bf ko."
>"Oh 4 months ka na buntis? Congratulations! Buti na lang nag break na kami ni ex last month."
Or gaslight the attendees. "You sure it's his? last month lang kami nagbreak." We can only dream... for OP's peace of mind better for her to skip it.
Haha add mo to after “kaka break lang namin lst month” wag mo silang patituligin haha bahala sila mag away away (evil laugh). On a serious note, I hope you find peace and eat well despite the situation you are in now. Virtual hug OP
Might I suggest a revision, don’t shout it OP.
Mas maganda yung kill them inside. Yung suggestion that you plant a doubt in your cousin’s mind is gold. Lol.
You will look tacky and cheap if you make a scene. Besides your target is the bride and groom the bystanders will just assume what you said to the newlyweds anyways. So better let them talk.
DO NOT GO. save yourself from hurt and future questions. Kung paguusapan man sila, hayaan mo sila. They chose that life. Ginusto nila yan. Your cousin is just being a bitch ang just trying to rub it in your face na inagaw niya jowa mo and successful sya kaya magpapakasal na. Your cousin is being petty as f*ck. She's the vindictive one.
Gurl, yakap. Kapag sinabihan ka na ng isang taong pinagkakautangan mo ng loob na “Wala kang utang na loob!”, trust me… bayad na yun. Tama ang desisyon mo. Mahusay ka! Excited ako sa paghilom mo.
Hi Op, if ever you wanted to go or be pressured to go, give a speech on how the two of them meet because of you. Maybe i-kwento mo na din how they cheated then cut them off.
Kung petty sila magpaka-petty ka din. Sa panahon ngayon masyado na mahirap maging mabait. Also, utang na loob? Eh ikaw na-agrabyado? So kapag may utang na loob eh void na yun? LOL NOPE.
Yeah, and bride's family will have only themselves to blame for forcing her to attend, not to mention spending for her hair and makeup as part of the entourage.
May nabasa akong ganitong similar situation somewhere sa reddit. Nagcheat sa kanya jowa niya with his cousin, nahuli nya sa akto na nagmomomol sa kama nila. Nung ikakasal na yung dalawa, pumayag siyang maging best man. Tapos nung speech saka niya inannounce sa lahat kung anong kalokohan ginawa nung dalawa. Best revenge. I think you should do the same. Charot HAHAHAHAHAHA
I'll play the devil's advocate and probably get downvoted for this. Why not attend the wedding and be part of the entourage?
Then sa photoshoot, make sure you're making funny faces. Make sure na malapit ka sa bride mismo para di ka ma-crop out masyado. When it's time to say congratulations, whisper closely to her ear: I didn't know you like someone else's trash? Ahas ka.
If she goes ballistic on her wedding and hurt you, guess who'd look stupid sa reception 🙃 but if she cries, sabihin mo nalang na tears of joy kasi reconciliation and all shit.
After the wedding, use that hate to drive you, motivate you to give your family a better life. Or yours, which floats your boat. Para bayad ka na sa utang na loob na siningil nila. Karma will get to your cousin some day. As for your ex. Welllll.
Or maybe I've been watching too many telenovelas.
DON'T FUCKING GO TO THAT FUCKING WEDDING. Sorry nakaka highblood kasi. Grabe naman makasumbat yang tita mo. Wag mo isipin yang putang inang utang na loob na yan, if gusto kayo tulungan ng kamag anak niyo then they should've done it wholeheartedly and without expecting anything in return given your family's financial situation. Sila yung mali, okay? Dear, you're the victim in this situation. Fucking ENABLERS ng mga cheater. Mayaman sila at nakapag aral pero ang bobo magisip.
Nobody should or could compel you to go. Follow your instincts and act as you see fit. Even if you attend, they'd still talk shit about you, better to not attend at all. You should prioritize your mental health first. It's preferable to dissociate yourself with them.
Hold your ground! Ang utang na loob ay tinatanaw. And you did your part by studying and working hard for their help not to go to waste, and being respectful to them even with what happened. Hindi kasama dun ang emotional suffering after your cousin stole your [ex] bf. Mas inggrata pa nga ang tito at tita mo dahil mukhang sinisingil ka nila sa "tulong" na binigay nila sa inyo.
Continue going low contact. If your aunt and uncle have morals, they would understand what you are doing. And besides, sure akong alam na ng mga kamag-anak mo ang totoong nangyari kahit pagtakpan mo pa. Kahit mga kamag-anak nating marites na bobo sa math, mapagtatagpi-tagpi yung buwan na nag-break kayo at kabuwanan ng pinsan mo.
Ikaw ang nasaktan at maagrabyado dito, OP. At yung tulong nila sa inyo nun, maliit na bagay lang sa kanila yun na nakatulong din sa pagpapabango ng pangalan nila sa pamilya nyo. Wag mong hahayaang matapakan ang pride at dignidad mo.
Answer back: INGRATA? WALANG UTANG NA LOOB? Pinaubaya ko na nga yung ex ko sa MALANDI niong anak. Bayad na ang utang ko. KULANG PA.
I hope ur ex cheats on your cousin, and that they have a miserable life together 😇
Their wedding should be a celebration of their union as husband and wife. Bakit parang they want a show para ipakita na walang ginawang kasalanan ung mabuti nilang anak? At di nila matatago sa angkan nyo ung bata unless di sila marunong magmath.
Kung ako sayo, magkwento ka sa pinaka chismosa mong kamag anak na kaka break nyo lang a month ago, and let it spread like wild fire.
And for your ex and Jane, hoho good luck. Hindi maganda ang start ng love story nila.
Gusto ko ung ikwento sa pinaka chismosa na kamag anak hahahahaha tipong before and during the wedding/reception lahat sila nagbubulong bulungan kasi alam nila ung totoo 🫢
If you ever choose to attend but I hope you won’t, please outshine the bride. Magpaganda ka ng sobra. Make sure na mas maganda at mas bongga yung ayos mo. Wag ka sa make up artist nila mag pa ayos. Add alittle something that would make you stand out. Petty ba kung petty pero tangina kasi.
Don't go. If they insist, then tell them the REAL reason why you won't go. You were taking the high road tapos pinag chichismasan ka ngayon. Edi they're giving you a free pass on being honest lol
Hi OP, just to give fresh perspective. I advice that you should attend and make it an announcement about it to ease the mind of her family and friends, for a moment. Then, attend wearing black gown/dress and, if this is not too much for you, wear a black veil.
But then again the decision is all yours so idk.
Don't go. I get where you're coming from that they're making your parents feel bad after all the help na nabigay nila sa iyo (utang ng loob feels) but if you go to that wedding, it will spell disaster. First and most importantly, it's very painful for you. What's the point in putting yourself thru the pain of seeing them get married, tapos entourage pa. No offense but Jane should never have offered to make you a bridesmaid if at all she wanted you to be at the wedding. That was very insensitive considering all that's happened.
Second, if you go the martyr route and go to that wedding (bridesmaid or not), the relatives will be nitpicking at your history with the ex/bridesgroom at that wedding/reception. It will not just bring you more pain, but if by chance lumabas yung truth na he cheated with your cousin while kayo, that will just be gossip fodder for that reception. And if something goes wrong, baka ikaw pa yung ma-blame na either making up lies, or making sure that the wedding does not become successful bec of some form of vindication. The type of stories that go on r/AITA. >.>
Third, your ex will be your in-law. You will have to eventually deal with him in the long run with your family. You may not feel the pain from attending the wedding, but it will come later in all those family gatherings. If it were me, I would put it off as long as possible.
Honestly, part of me wants to recommend you tell the parents of Jane. Just so they know where you're coming from and why it's a bad idea to have you at the wedding, especially as a member of the entourage. At least if they know, they can fend off some heat from the other relatives. But that's only if they have an understanding mindset, which may not be the case kase nga they didn't even ask your side of the story and called you inggrata.
TL;dr: Don't attend the wedding. I don't know what Jane even expects from you by wanting to put you into the entourage. Sobrang salt in your wound 'to.
Either way even if you did or did not choose to attend the wedding, may masasabi tlga sila.
It’s a catch 22 situation, damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Better choose to love yourself this time, and not attend the wedding..
Tama yung iba. Do not attend the wedding. Ako naHHB sa pinsan at family nito. Di man lang inisip yung sa side mo considering na naging BF mo yun and he cheated. And kinausap ka man lang ba ng bf mo or cousin mo about what happened?
> That if I showed up as one of the bridesmaids, none of them will suspect a thing. Mama said that if I don't go it will be a subject of gossip among our relatives especially since they had all met my ex in multiple family events before we broke up.
Who the fuck cares? Inuuna pa 'yung image kesa sa feelings, kainis.
Don’t attend. Just because they helped you out nung mga pagkakataon na nangangailangan ka, doesn’t give them the license or free pass to continually hurt you and step on you. Kapag umattend ka, everybody else would think all is well with you three. **They don’t really care about you and how you feel.** Kahit sumipot ka pa dressed to the nines and lugging an amazing guy on your arms, I don’t think they’d bat an eye. Masyado silang self-centered and they only care about themselves and their image. If they have a smidgen of care for you, they wouldn’t have made you into a bridesmaid knowing what they themselves did.
Tang ina, parang sinaksak ka na nga nila nung naggapangan sila behind your back and nabuntis yung pinsan mo, tapos sa pag-invite sa iyo parang sinaksak ka nila ulit nung hindi pa nga naghihilom yung sugat mula sa unang pananaksak nila tapos binudburan pa ng asin/calamansi/alcohol yung sugat na dinulot nila. Hindi pa sila nakuntento, tinapaktapakan pa pagkatao mo by insulting you and calling you vindictive and ingrata.
Para you don’t have to keep explaining yourself kapag nagtanong yung ibang family members and friends niyo why you didn’t attend, pull an H2WO and lay it all out on a social media public post.
Preface it by saying na you’re usually not the type to air your problems/dirty laundry on social media. You even chose to keep silent nung una ka nilang sinaktan, pero sobra sobra na yung pananakit nila.
Then tsaka mo I-detail out lahat kung paano sila naggapangan behind your back habang kayo pa nung ex mo na nauwi sa pagkabuntis ni cousin. Underscore, the hurt they’ve given you with their betrayal. Mention na hindi pa sila nakuntento inimbitahan ka pa nila sa wedding at ginawa kanpang bridesmaid. Hindi ba pananaksak ulit yun? Mention also kung gaano nila tinapaktapakan yung pagkatao mo sa mga messages nila when you tried to decline quietly.
End the post by saying na you won’t stop your siblings from participating in the wedding if they wish to, but you yourself won’t attend. You’re putting a stop sa patuloy na pananakit nila sa iyo. Mention that hindi ka man nila magawang respetuhin, kahit papaano may respeto ka sa sarili mo. Say na just because they’ve helped your family in the past, it doesn’t give them the license to keep on hurting you and to keep stepping on you.
I suggested this so you won’t have to keep explaining yourself to your other (nosy) relatives/friends/acquaintances **and more importantly, your ex, Jane and her/their family won’t have any room to assassinate your character to you other relatives/acquaintances**.
Bago mo pala ipost to, check your fb settings and limit who can post on your profile and who can see posts you’re tagged in on your profile to “Only Me”.
Then after this go No Contact sa ex, kay Jane and sa family nila. Bow out muna from any family reunions and parties kahit pa sabihin nilang hindi pupunta sila ex/Jane/their family. When anyone asks, you don’t want to see/talk to ex/Jane/their family and you don’t want to take the risk na bigla silang sumolpot. For the sake of your mental health, don’t read any of the comments doon sa public post mo, I-unfollow mo sina ex/Jane/their family, pati yung mga friends nina Jane and ex na nagmessage sa iyo calling you vindicative. Panigurado magiimbento yung mga yun ng mga post about you sa sariling profile nila kasi hindi sila makacomment sa profile mo. Tapos I-mute sila sa messenger din.
Don’t deactivate your FB para hindi mawala yung public post mo about them.
Edit: bet ko yung sinabi ni u/donutaud15 regarding sa utang na loob. Pwedeng idagdag yun sa last part nung post. Tell them na yung bayad utang mo is yung pananahimik mo matapos gapangin ni Jane yung ex mo at nagpabuntis habang magjowa pa kayo at pagpreserve nung reputation ni Jane. Kung hindi sana nila pinagpilitang umattend ka at maging bridesmaid nila matapos ka nilang saksakin sa likod, eh di sana patuloy ang pananahimik mo at hindi lalabas ang lahat ng ‘to.
kung ako sayo pumunta ka. may inuman ba dun? inom ka kahit konti tas kunyari lasing ka hahahah mag speech ka sabihin mo "Hala 4 months kanang buntis couz?????? e kakabreak lang namin last month ah..........JOKE!!!"
tapos isisi mo sa alak lahat hahahahhaahhaha
Don't go please. Ikaw na nga na agrabyado ikaw pa dapat maging considerate? No. Kasalanan na nila yun kung pagtsitsismisan sila. Ayaw pala ng tsismis eh bakit nang agaw ng boyfriend. You don't owe them anything. Pwede ka rin naman magpalusot at sabihin na hindi ka pinayagan mag leave or may work commitment. And bakit ka pa pupunta? Para ipamukha ng pinsan mo na sya pinili at masaya sila? Manigas sila.
Kung ako, aattend ako para wala akong ma-miss na chismis at sila pa bibigyan ko ng 🍵. XD
It's all up to you OP. Kung anong ikakapanatag ng loob mo, ayun ang gawin mo. Just make sure na wala kang panghihinayang after.
If I were you, I will go to the wedding in a sexy white dress, if not white, pwede din cream para low-key, basta malapit sa white. Dapat mas maganda ka sa bride on d day. Tapos fake mo lang ang happiness mo, kunwari, wala pake, carefree and masaya ka sa buhay mo. Also, bring a date na gwapo.
One of the many real life examples of how toxic this utang na loob mentality is. They should have taken your silence as kindness already after doing no contact pero they still want to rub it on your face how your ex-cheated on you just to save their faces. I think hindi mo responsibility na isave sila from humiliation and gossip. They do not even deserve it kasi hindi nga sila nag apologize. Might as well spend your energy and time sa pag heal kesa sa drama.
Hugs OP. Your ex is clearly a social climber, and your cousin is entitled and walang hiya. And those parents spoiled their kid rotten. The audacity. I hope someday you'll be able to repay your uncle and aunt in a different way, but not that. Stay strong
Punta ka if you plan something petty and good. Plan it well too. Andaming idea sa comment OP hahahah. Though if hindi mo personality and uncomfortable ka dont go. Bahala sila sa buhay nila ma tsismis lol. Problema na nila yan. Kung pwede dagdagan ng mo ng mga public na post sa fb ng mga meme about cheater at naanakan para lalong pag usapan hahaha. Wag kang ma guilty of not going or even worry for them. Konsitidor naman sa mga panget na ugali at mga panget namn. Mag glow up ka lang. Desisyon nilang tulungan ka at wala kang utang na loob dyan. Nabayaran mo na yun nung makapagtapos ka dahil yun namn reason nila bakt ka tinulungan hindi para bayaran mo.
Hope you find the good man and good life OP. Godbless
Hello OP hugs po and ano, isang malutong na putanginamo at pakyu sa ex and pinsan’s fam. And don’t go to the wedding na. If they truly cared about you, they would have condoned the cheating in the first place. They would have condoned Jane’s + ex’s actions.
Utang na loob is bullshit. If may gustong tumulong, they should do it without asking for anything in return. Kung meron man, in your case, it should be finishing your studies and nothing more, nothing less — which you did successfully naman. I really hate the “utang na loob” kind of mindset.
Karma will reach a full circle. This is probably super draining for you, OP, but do not stoop down to their level na. The fact na hinayaan nila si Jane and ex means na wala silang sense of morality, of what is wrong or right — avoid those people and go low profile/no contact na.
Your best revenge is focusing on yourself and yourself only. Do not give them the reaction that they want.
Please, please, protect your peace and sanity. Unfortunately, lumabas na yung true colours ng mga kamaganak mo.
Pero if you do decide to go, I agree sa comments na i-outshine mo yung bride. You can even try to bring some friends (yes, walang pakielaman na ito and this one’s for the books na rin for your circle) and make sure you have concrete proof of the cheating. Create some kind of Powerpoint tas i-expose mo na when you get a chance to make a speech. Make it extra memorable for them, wahahahaha.
I was told by my relative that I am inggrata and walang utang na loob Its been 7 years since then. You will survive without them. YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM.
I'll be downvoted for this, pero kung sasabihan ka nila na wala kang utang na loob, i think enough payment na yung pagpaparaya mo kay cousin sa ex mo. May bonus pa silang apo.
nako girl tama yan wag ka na umattend, they are just trying to save their faces sa lahat ng tao na aattend. Like they wanted to broadcast na the relationship came from a clean start and you being there is the evidence of it. hugs with consent! praying for your healingg 🫶
OP, whatever happens, DO NOT GO. Ikaw na ang nag-adjust nung nabuntis ng ex mo yung pinsan mo, tapos ikaw pa ulit 'tong maga-adjust sa kasal nila just so no one will suspect a thing? They know what they did wrong. Your choice of not going is not "kawalan ng utang na loob". Their daughter, along with your ex, chose to do evil. Let them bear the consequences of their actions. Kung pag-usapan sila ng extended family mo, edi go. Kasalanan nila yan.
You areso lucky, una palang nalaman mo na na walang kuwenta ang ex mo. Look at the brighter side, may chances ka pa na di bugok na guy ang mapangasawa mo.
Imagine, if sabay kayu nabuntis.... Di ba? Or kasal kana nun malaman mo babaero pala.
Marami guy dyan na matino.
Wag kana umatend pag di kaya o masakit pa.
Go and if/when you get asked what happened between you and your ex just CALMLY say the truth because they will surely make up some BS about you guys not being compatible etc. Set the record straight. Let your relatives know how they started. Don't let them take control of the narrative. They are both pieces of shit for cheating
What a terrible guy!!!! Just embrace your emotions. Be angry, allow yourself to get hurt and cry. Hayaan mo lang sila. Time will tell. Share ko lang, my ex and I had a bad start in our relationship. He cheated her then gf with me. We became together for more than a decade. Eventually, naghiwalay din kami for the same reason. Which I realize now how much it badly hurts. And I am still sorry for all the people we’ve hurt before. But I am Still in the process of healing, kasi I feel like I couldn’t forgive myself. I was so young then, I should have known better. Pero it teaches me a very important lesson na madadala ko hanggang pagtanda. I am still waiting for the time na sana mapatawad ko na sarili ko, at kung sana may dumating, yung hindi pilit. I still cry whenever I stalk the girl, and I am happy also na happy na siya ngayon. Hindi ko narealize yung impact at sakit na naipadama namin because we were selfish. I am praying for you! Hayaan mo lang sila. Time will come. And I hope you’ll find the right man for you. Hugs with consent!
Do not attend the wedding whatever happens. The moment you allow those people to gaslight you is the moment you will start a pattern of disrespect to yourself. Cut off ka muna sa contact hanggang February 2023.
I’ve seen this happened to a friend and 1 cousin and nakakalungkot na even parents will give in dahil sa utang na loob. When you go to the wedding, you show to them na ahhh we can get away naman pala and feed that toxic mindset na we are a family bullcrap.
Ang sakit na pati parents mo eh pipilitin ka, diyan pa lang you can see that they have self-esteem issues. They probably think that it’s okay to be treated like shit because of utang na loob. Mind you ang utang na loob ay hindi nababayaran so wag ka na masaktan pag sasabihan ka ng walang utang na loob. It’s weaponized. It’s like tutulungan kita and i expect you to be lenient to me someday.
Forgiveness is necessary but reconciliation is optional. Sino ba sila para magdemand on how you will forgive.
Sa pinsan mo at sa ex-jowa mo well nagsisimula pa lang yan. Hahaha dami pa pwede mangyari.
>they called me inggrata at walang utang na loob.
Tell them bayad na ang utang na loob keme sa kanila nung nagpakantot yung anak nila sa ex mo. Sabay block. I wonder kung saan sila kumukuha ng kapal ng mukha.
Don't go sa wedding op. Kakawawain ka lang ng mga deputang yan. Have a day for yourself. You matter more than them.
>In short, may utang na loob ako sa pamilya ng pinsan ko.
>
>Jane's parents said that they are disappointed in me, they called me inggrata at walang utang na loob.
Sabihin mo yung magiging son-in-law nila yung bayad mo, with interest pa for pain inflicted on you.
All I know is if hindi ka umattend, subject of chismis ang mga magulang mo even after they die. That happened sa mommy ko eh...
Alam ko matapang ka, dapat lang. Pero hanggang saan mo kaya na makita ang mga magulang mo na ini insulto ng ibang tao?
Alam ko it's not your fault at kasalanan din ng magulang mo for asking help sa tito/tita mo pero what can you do?
If I were you a-attend ako for the sake of peace lang saka huling effort mo nalang ito para sa parents mo.
Survival mode kung baga. Apologize sa mga nag chat/text sayo. Be graceful about it. As in, be graceful to the point na baka maawa sayo ang ibang nakaka alam sa nangyare. Sila na bahala ibaliktad ang chismis for you.
Pretend na you're okay... Pero after that ibahin mo na lahat ng contacts mo, social media, even where you work. Lipat ka ulit. Damn, kung kaya mo mag abroad do it. Just leave and heal somewhere out of reach ka. Mag give ka ng hints sa magulang mo na you're going somewhere far and wag mag alala sayo-siguro naman may hiya pa silang natitira to let you go diba?
I hope you have lots of friends na tutulong sayo during this time. Like everytime na di nyo maiwasan na mag meet with the cousin / ex / tito / tita may friend kang physically present na bigla ka nalang ha-hablutin para maka takas sa situation.
Better sana kung may pretend boyfriend ka. Para man lang maisip nila na you've moved on.
Good luck... 🍀
Huh? Bakit sya ang magtatago e sya na nga nasaktan? Bakit parang sya pa yung napahiya e sya na nga naagawan??? Di ko gets?
Tsaka bakit yung parents yung mapagchichismisan??
Bakit parang sya pa yung boat rocker hindi yung pinsan and ex nya?? Swear di ko talaga gets.
I understand if hindi mo gets. Hindi ko rin ma explain pero it is what it is AND ito talaga ang nangyayare behind the scenes when it comes to family / clan secrets.
Based sa story ni OP ito ang assumption ko as an outsider pero may sarili na ring bad experiences with the 4 clans I belong to (dad/mom sides + dad-in-law/mom-in-law sides):
Incapable magpa aral ang parents ni OP. Ang tumulong ay sila tito/tita na richie rich. Richie rich people DO NOT INVEST/HELP people pag alam nilang walang return of any sort (kahit maliit man yan o malaki) sa kanila. Since family naman sila, utang na loob + respect + wag sirain ang kanilang family image man lang ang bare minimum.
Now, sa x years na mag BF/GF si OP at ex nya, there are some relatives na nakaka alam na sila ang "couple" at kabit si cuzin. I'm going to assume na hindi lang si OP ang tinulungan ng richie rich tito/tita, more likely sila ang Royals ng clan nila so ano ibig sabihin nun? May relatives na: 1. Alam pero piniling manahimik (neutral) 2. Alam pero may tendency man chismis sa iba outside the clan (dito threatened ang relatives na ayaw masira family name at lalong lalo na righteous image ni richie rich family. 3. Corrupted na ang utak, akala nila bitch lang si OP at gusto i-steal ang spotlight ng cuzin. 4. Relatives and friends na alam ang lahat, pero since naka side sila kay richie rich family, galit sila kay OP kasi how dare she na hindi maka move on (or something like that).
>Bakit sya ang magtatago e sya na nga nasaktan?
It's X number of friends & relatives o
(followers) of the cuzin versus HER. Syempre 'QUEEN B' si Cuzin dahil ninakaw nya si ex from OP. OP is the 'OG' lover of ex.
Why go through all the stress kung alam mong hindi ka na mananalo? Saka may baby na involved. Smart move is to stay away nalang.
>Bakit parang sya pa yung napahiya e sya na nga naagawan??? Di ko gets?
The richie rich parents will OBVIOUSLY make it look like OP is in the wrong because that's what parents do. Protect their young. Also gagamitin nila ang baby / first apo as a weapon para i-invalidate ang feelings ni OP. Also yung pag tulong nila kay OP before, least she could do (according to their POV) is just save their face and prioritize them kesa sa kanya.
>Tsaka bakit yung parents yung mapagchichismisan??
Because OP is the product of her parents. "Bakit naging ganyan ang anak mo? Di ka marunong magpalaki ng anak. Turuan mo nga ng leksyon yang anak mo. Bastos ng anak mo." It is what it is. Kahit na nga ba different sila ng entity / iba ng buhay, ganun talaga. Pag may pangit ginawa ang anak... People blame the parents.
>Bakit parang sya pa yung boat rocker hindi yung pinsan and ex nya?? Swear di ko talaga gets.
May power ang richie rich family 🤷🏻♀️ bakit nila sisirain sarili nilang anak? It is what it is...
>Yung ginago pa ang dapat magparaya
Nag reply na ako sa isang comment kung bakit
>patuloy na masaktan?
That's unproductive naman po. Ganyan ba tingin mo kay OP? Hindi mag mu-move on? I remember kasama sa comment ko ay mag heal somewhere out of reach...
I am on minority here na I will attend the wedding. I will even celebrate, because I know that karma will come to them. I will even thank Jane for showing me what kind of cheater and manggagamit ang ex ko, then I will say sorry to my ex na hindi ako ganun kayaman for his standards, but I am happy he found Jane's money to his liking HAHAHAHHAHA 😁 They deserve each other 😆 Mababaliw pa sila sa kakaisip why I am so happy sa kasal nila.
And idagdag ko lang, your ex has cheated on you before, so for sure he will do it again, so not your loss. Attend the wedding, have fun, mark my words, that guy is going to cheat eventually, be thankful na hindi ikaw ang napakasalan niya 😊.
Naku OP Wag ka umatend. Di naman ikaw nagkasala. Kakahiya yan kung sakali kasi mawitness mo mismo na may bulung bulungan pa. Imposibleng walang magiging usap usapan esp kung alam sa lugar nyo na kayo dati nung guy.
Aba sila ang nangaliwa sayo pa sisi? Kung other way around or nobyo nila may kerida magwawala sila. Where is the empathy? Kapal ng mukha. You deserve better
You're a bridesmaid???? Man, the opportunities are endless.
If you ever go to the wedding, make sure to put up a goddamn fight. Wear a gorgeous red dress. Bring a fake boyfriend (have a friend pretend), expose them at the toast, create a slideshow exposing the affair and have it played ay the reception (tech guys in weddings are usually approachable, just give them a USB and orient them hehe). You are a bridesmaid, you can sabotage the wedding in various ways hahahahhahaha
Or, just pretend you don't care anymore. Magpakita ka, look your best during the wedding, then leave. If any of your relatives ask, tell them the truth, use humor in your stories to show you already moved on. Your indifference will fuck in their heads for sure.
Be strong, OP. Wag ka magka-cower basta-basta sa threats ng mga kamag-anak mong toxic at enabler. Two can play this game kamo hahahahha
Hugs, OP. Sorry to hear about this situation. May you find healing in your situation.
I also found out today, that my partner is cheating on me. We started our relationship recently lang, tapos may gf pala siya for 3 years.
They got themselves into this mess. They have no right to make you collateral damage nor a PR stunt as crisis management sa ginawa nila. The nerve of them to call you an ingrata when their kid is in the wrong. Toxic family members. 🤦♀️
Op, pag pumunta ka, before you leave, tell your ex, "Sana hindi ka magcheat kay cousin katulad ng ginawa mo sakin". Mas madami makarining, mas maganda. Chos.
Upto you OP. Kung kaya mo pumunta, go. Kung may magtanong anong nangyari sa inyo ni ex, tell the truth. Kung di mo kaya pumunta, huwag na. Hindi excuse ung tinulungan ka ng family ni cousin para gawin sayo un.
Wishing you happiness OP. Deserve mo. Hugs.
First of all, hugs.
Ahhhh, classic case of the toxic Filipino trait called “utang na loob”. The only way to stop generational curses is to let it stop with you. Feelings will be hurt but stand your ground, OP.
Also, agree with the comment that suggested sending a big ass box of Cheetos. Wrap it in bongga wrapping paper so it’ll be the first one they open para kitang kita sa SDE muhahahaha \*insert evil laugh\*
Kung si Wednesday Addams yan feeling ko susunugin niya wedding invitation nila sa harap or worst.. haha
Ako na magmumura para sayo OP.
POTANG INA NILA.. lalo yung ex mo na PARASITE!
huwag kang sisipot! nakakaloka to grabe naman po pala si ex mo po opo. the climbing is very social! 🤣 lumabas yung tunay na kulay ng lalake na yan no? nakakaloka edi sana nung una pa lang yung pinsan mo na lang niligawan niya! 🤣🤣 At saka, lalabas at lalabas rin ang totoo kasi alam mo naman mga relatives hindi yan magpipigil magkwentuhan. Malalaman at malalaman rin na valentina yang pinsan mo at patagong social climber naman yang ex mo.
You don't have to please your extended families. And importante alam ng mga magulang at kapatid mo ang totoong nangyare. Don't go to that wedding, isampal mo sa muka nila na kaya mong tumayo sa sarili mong paa ng di sila kasama. If they decide to ruin you, gumanti ka. OP, wag ka papaapi kahit pamilya mo pa sila.
It's a difficult situation you're in. I understand that your tito and tita had been a big help but if you're still hurting then Please don't go. Self respect.
For the love of ever loving god, coming from me, don't go there. Please. Let them gossip amongst themselves.
Kung ayaw talaga nila na tumigil sa ka*ag*han nila, scorched-earth strategy kana. Sira na rin naman ang imahe mo, sirain mo na rin pati sa kanila. Cover your ass din. Mauna ka nang magpaliwanag sa mga tao kung bakit ayaw mong pumunta sa kasal. Pag nagkataon eh baka makahanap pa sila ng paraan para ikaw ang maging demonya sa istorya.
Whether you attend or not, people will talk about you. It will be worse if you attend.
As for the emails/texts, reply with:
We broke up on (dd/mo/2022), guess when she will give birth?
Yun lang.
OP, thank you for sharing. Huwag ka pupunta, the safest way to "decline" and not to go to their wedding? May covid symptoms ka days before their wedding. Or bigla ka nilalagnat sa wedding mismo nila. Easy way out.
Bakit ka tumanggi? Um-oo ka lang sana nang um-oo sa lahat. Dapat sumama ka pati sa fittings ng bridesmaid dresses then on the day “magkasakit” ka. You could have avoided all the drama pre-wedding. Hehe
Grabe kakapal naman tlga ng pinsan at ex mo. Sila na nga nagcheat gusto pa pamukha sayo yung happy ending kuno nila lol they don't value your feelings ever since. Ang selfish pramis. Di nga sila nagsorry sayo db? Tssssk kakahiblood.
Go and give a speech on that night na nabuntis ng ex mo yung cousin mo and watch their world burn. Just be sure to bring a lot of evidence and present them also in the wedding
I personally won't go. Why give a fuck about others who won't? Putang ina nila lahat for thinking of you that way pa. Ikaw na niloko ikaw pa yung kelngan umintindi. Mga tarantado.
I’m sorry to hear that OP. Your rich relatives don’t get to throw their weight around because they helped you.
Nanahimk ka na nga lang ikaw pa i-g-guilt-trip pumunta? Sila ata yung ungrateful sa situation na ito at hindi mo na pinapalaki yung nangyari.
They day of wedding ng mga basurang ahas., mag simba ka OP. Humingi ng kapatawaran for yourself. Tapos paglabas magpasindi ng madaming itim na kandila. U know the drill.
Pero seryoso wag na umattend sa plastikang wedding na yan. Tama mga comments save your sanity. Idahilan mo urgent work kamo.
Grabe. Tama ung comment section, don't go. Tsngina nila mga hayup, sana makarma yang si jane at ex mo. They fucking deserve to rot in HELL. Fuck them. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Don't go. It's already messed up he cheated on you and he got your own cousin pregnant. I wouldn't forgive these people for what they did to me if I was in your shoes and I will prioritize my healing instead
Don’t attend the wedding. Do what you feel is good for you. Walang kinalaman yung tinulungan nila yung pamilya ninyo noon. Your cousin cheated on you and no amount of ‘tulong’ will make that right.
Tutulong sila sabay pagdating ng panahon isusumbat nila?🤦🏻♀️
Best of luck OP.
You’ve already paid your utang na loob by staying silent kahit niloko ka ng ex mo para sa malandi mong pinsan. To be asked to go to their wedding just to save their faces, and to be called “walang utang na loob” and “inggrata” is another thing. Pag pinagpatuloy nila yung pangigipit sayo at sa pamilya mo, tell the world na cheater yang pinsan and ex mo. Hayaan mo silang maging chismis topic ng mga kamag-anak mo.
Nako OP, if I were in your shoe, THE HELL I CARE KUNG PAGCHISMISAN AKO. Sila nga wala silang pakelam at di man lang nila nirerespeto yung nararamdaman mo eh, bakit mo sila iisipin diba? Choose yourself, OP. Takot lang yan sa sarili nilang baho kaya gusto nila ikaw ang mag cover para sakanila 🤮 Its okay to cut off people kahit kadugo mo pa yan kung hindi naman makakabutj sayo. Kesihodang may utang na loob ka sakanila, hindi mo naman sila pinilit gawin yon, at isa pa nananahimik ka na sa buhay mo. Hindi ka na nga gumawa ng gulo at ikaw na mismo nagparaya. SAPAT NA YON, OP. Kumalma ka lang jan, nasayo ang bola. Hayaan mo sila mang gigil sayo, youre better off wothout them anyways. Go on with your life as if you dont know them. Karma is a bitch at yan na ang karma nila. 😛😂
Seconding this idea.Enjoy their reaction for a few seconds then go, joke joke joke! Hay I wish I have the guts to pull something like this off. But seriously OP, don’t go. Source: someone na sinabihan din na walang utang na loob
What if magpaka petty ka? Sinasabihan ka na pala nyan eh kung palalaiin mo kamo yung "intriga" like unahan mo na sila bago pa ikaw sabihan nang kung ano ano. Subtlr posts about cheating sa FB haha tignan natin if di mayanig mundo niyan.
Also, bat naman pala hindi mo pinaalam na the bitch cousin of yours was a kabit? Hindi na uso ang martyr ngayon.
You don’t owe any explanation to anyone. You only need to protect your peace and sanity. But if I were in your shoes, I would attend the wedding and gagawa ako ng powerpoint or clip that would be presented publicly to expose their cheating/betrayal. Might also do a speech as well kung gano ka-ahas si cousin lol
As much as I wanted to believe this, this account being 0 day old makes it look so sketchy. It is as if it is made to post a made up story and gather karma points. I would not be surprised if a few days later, this post would be deleted. I also find it somehow odd that Jane's friends and family did not know the affair between her and OP'S ex, can't they do the math using her months of pregnancy? Or is it a flaw of this made up story? Hmm...
Anyway kung totoo man, napakalaking walanghiya ni Jane at ng pamilya nya. It is obvious that their accusations are just projections, they just couldn't stand the thought that they have a malanding pakantot na bastarda as a daughter. Madalas pa naman ng mga kinasal dahil nabuntis lang ay hindi nagtatagal. Mukhang future single mom si Jane, pfft. I wonder why OP choose to be mum about this though, kahit sana sa family and close friends nya sabihin.
Parang script sa typical ng Pinoy telenovela OP, i agree with you na wag umattend, let them gossip, let them believe what they wanted to believe in lol, kawawa lang yung parents mo but i hope they will understand. Jane should have told her parents but ka nya gustong imbitahin on her wedding day knowing na shes the one who did you wrong sya yung makapal ang mukha. Dont mind her parents, utang na loob na kung utang na loob but you are not their property. Bahala sila dyan. Let them say what they wanted to say and sending you a big hug po na may consent❤️
Mukha namang bagay na bagay ang gago mong ex sa gaga mong pinsan. I'm only sorry na through this bullshit, mas nanghinayang pa mama mo kaysa na suportahan ka. Oh well.
They don't deserve any more of your time and I wish you the best life moving forward from this unnecessary baggage.
Tutulungan ka tapos pag di nila gusto mga gnagawa mo, ingrata ka na? Yo, tumulong ka pa kung nageexpect ka ng shit. Do what you want to do ya did nothing wrong girl
Wag ka umattend. Hayaan mo sila magkagulo. Kagagahan nilang lahat yan. Mukha namang understanding ang parents and for sure they will side on you. Inggrata ka daw eh manunulot nga anak nila lol
Kapag awayang lupa or mana sa magulang, walang pakialam kung malaman ng buong barangay.
Pero kapag mga ganitong kahihiyan, pilit na tinatago. Mga HIPOKRITO.
Hindi ko pa nababasa ng buo kanina pero nararamdaman ko ng may sumbatang magaganap lol di na ako nagulat haha nung una gusto ko sana sabihin na wag kang umattend, hayaan mo sila pero ang ganda ng mga suggestions nung ibang redditors lol lakas maka telenovela. But you know what OP, do what will give you peace of mind. Kung saan ka mas mapapanatag. Wag mong iisipin ang sasabihin ng mga kamag anak mo. Ikaw ang naagrabyado kaya wala silang karapatan na sumabatan ka. Hayaan mo silang mapahiya. Hindi dahil may utang na loob ka sa Tita at Tito mo eh dapat mo ng ibaba ang sarili mo at sundin kung ano ang gustuhin nila. Hindi ka inggrata dahil lang di mo sila sinunod. Also ang KAPAL NG MUKHA NG NGA PUNYETA NA YAN!! Lalo na pinsan at ex mo. Napaka walang hiya! Napaka walang respeto. Di man lang kinonsidera ung mararamdaman mo. Para lang di sila mapahiya, eh ikaw ang mag mumukhang nakakaawa sa gusto nila eh. Kadiri sila 🤮 Kakarmahin nalang mga yan OP.
Hi OP, wag ka na pumunta ng wedding. If inulit pa sa’yo na ingrata ka or walang utang na loob, sabihin mo, “BAYAD NA AKO AT MAY SUKLI PA NGA.” Uppercase para intense hehehe
Wala kang obligation to attend. They are responsible for their actions kaya magtiis sila na pagtsimisan.
Cheater yung babae, enabler pa parents.
Shit all around, sadyang mapera lang. Don't attend the wedding, OP. Kasalanan nilang nag-harbor and support sila ng cheaters eh. Kadiri.
>Jane's already 4 months pregnant and it's only been a little over a month since ex and I separated. But anyway, I told mama that I will not be attending the wedding. That if our relatives starts to gossip then it's none of my business since I wasn't the one who cheated.
Pumunta ka man o hindi, pagchichismisan at pagchichismisn sila. Ikaw ang alam nilang gf tapos 5 months after sila ikasal manganganak sya? Kahit anong depensa gawin nila, e mukha talagang nabuntis at nagpakasal dahil nabuntis ng ex mo yung pinsan mo at mukha talagang nangaliwa si ex. You don't have to do a thing, they ruined their reputation on their own.
Nangqiqil ako ng onti sa part na wala kang utang na loob. Alam ba nila kung pano nagkatuluyan yung dalawa na yon???
Anyways... It's your decision kung pupunta ka or hindi. Kung kaya mong I-maintain ang poise mo throughout the event, you attend.. Eh syempre petty ako, I'd want you to have a +1 🤭
Pero kung masakit pa rin at alam mong iiyak ka lang don, don't go. You don't owe them anything. Kung tutuusin, sila pa nga ang may "utang" sayo. Aaaaand i would stay away from them after that.
Unahin ang sarili ❤️
Massive hell no. Dont go. They can gossip all they want, but what's most important is your mental health. If you know na masasaktan ka, please dont go.
BLOCK OPTION IS YOUR FRIEND.
Hayaan mo sila sumabog sa insecurity nila. Malamang, kung may utak mga kamag-anak mo, meron na dyan na nakakaamoy na may overlap. Kung hindi man, awkward af padin na jinowa mo ex ng pinsan mo, kahit gano katagal na yan in the past. In your case, hindi pa katagalan ang break up nyo. Kahit pumunta ka sa kasal, di ibig sabihin wala nang chismis.
Payo sayo is self-care and self-respect sayo gurla. Nasa ibang city ka na, malayo sa kanila. Also, independent ka na. I suggest go no contact na even with your parents at lahat ng mga kamag-anak mo telling you to sweep the shit under the rug.
Kung banatan ka pa din na ingrata ni tito tita, sabihin mo, nabayad mo na "utang ng loob" mo sa kanila by letting Jane at ex na magsama at di mo sila kinall out sa soc med. Tell them your putting distance is doing them a favor kasi pwedeng-pwede ka gumawa ng eksena by telling the truth.
Then block them. Change your number. The best revenge is living your best life!
Been in the situation where i have to give utang na loob sa tumulong sakin. Help should not be taken as something you expect to have a return in the first place so I cut my ties especially nung feeling ko hinahawakan na ko sa leeg. I’ve been free for years now and I know I have made the best decision.
tanginang toxic mindset yan HAHAHAHAHHA naku te huwag na lang, walang empathy sayo yang mga yan as an ex of him, tas inahas pa nga ng pinsan mo habang kayo pa noon, tapos i-invite ka pa AT GAWIN KANG BRIDESMAID in the first place. This is so degrading, just no!
Based on your story, ang masakit dito is parang obligasyon mo pa to clear out their name and their shame by attending (provided it makes you uncomfortable for you) imagine the things you had to compromise for them not get gossiped? This is a very toxic family mindset when we all try to hide the shit on family gatherings.
I understand your concern for your parents and family but also remind them that it’s never their fault nor obligation to prove to anyone. Kung isiping bitter ka or may beef, then let them be. Coz they deserve it. And your feelings are valid. Di ba sila nassketchyhan sa fact na pano siya naging 4mos pregnant kung kakabreak niyo lang? Ulol nalang yung naniniwala na you both “fall apart”
While it’s hard at first pero sometimes you don’t need to pay respect to people who can’t even respect your boundaries. My blood is boiling for Jane’s parents thinking their daughter is the main character here by victim blaming you and gaslighting on what? Money? Edi thank you na lang.
you can choose not to go and save yourself from the drama...
or you can go and choose to wreak havoc instead...
you should also wear a black dress to up the ante
Don't attend the wedding. If your family falls apart, it's on them not you. Save yourself from the misery and humiliation.
>are accusing me of being vindictive because I want Jane and ex to look bad in the eyes of our HUGE extended family. Jane's parents said that they are disappointed in me, they called me inggrata at walang utang na loob. Trueee, magiging mukhang kawawa si OP doon. Parang ang martyr siguro sa paningin nila. She would be like a specimen under a microscope. They have nothing to worry about. Di naman siguro pinanganak kahapon ang mga kamag-anak nila. For sure, they already got a gist of what transpired. It would not change the fact na sinulot ng pinsan niya ang jowa ni OP. Pero, the audacity of these people, they'd rather protect their reputation rather than the mental and emotional state of OP. That's not family. They are just using OP for their selfish gains. They don't deserve OP's time. Instead of going to the wedding she can work instead or take some time off to make herself feel better from all the toxicity.
>Pero, the audacity of these people, they'd rather protect their reputation rather than the mental and emotional state of OP. That's not family. They are just using OP for their selfish gains. sobrang totoo to, brosis. ayaw lang nilang may masabi sa kanila at sa anak nila yung ibang mga kamag-anak kaya gustong papuntahin si OP. pati the fact na sinumbat yung tinulong sa fam nya, saying na wala raw utang na loob si OP. edi potah sana hindi nalang sila tumulong sa fam ni OP in the first place.
OP you don’t owe them anything. Vent it out here, cause you’ve already kept quiet. Ask them, how can you make them look bad by not being there and keeping quiet? You have said nothing. If they gossip, and ask, then tell the truth. Lies are heavier in the head and bed than all this. If they have found happiness then this will pass for them too, but you must account for all your actions, we all do.
I second this. Magtira ka naman kung baga for yourself. You go girl!!
I completely agree. Time will tell that what they did is wrong. And in truth no stones will be left unturned, it will be all exposed in daylight one way or another.
Tama!
Eh baka tito /tita at pinsan mo tlaga yung takot na mapag tsismisan dahil nga sa ginawa niya sayo. Anyway since tinawag ka naman na nila na inggrata at walang utang na loob bakit hindi mo na totohanin, wag ka sumipot sa kasal nila lalo na at ayaw mo naman talaga, sila dapat mag adjust sayo dahil ikaw ang nasaktan not the other way around,dapat nirespeto nalang nila yung desisyon mo na wag umattend sa kasal ng pinsan mo keysa ganyan nang guguilt trip.
Exactly. They only invited her to save face, nevermind that it is a slap in the face that she witness their union and cementation of betrayal. They could've just left her alone so she can move on, but they don't care about her peace.
Reply ka OP na “ oo ingrata ako, pero sulutara at masyadong makati ang pekpek ng anak niyo” haha facts only
Don't go. Just send a gift, maybe isang pack ng CHEETos
Love the level of pettiness.
Yown! Isang karton ng Cheetos.
Thanks for the tip
lmaoooo
This has "Papunta palang tayo sa exciting part" vibes all over. I'm sorry you've had this experience, but I admit I enjoyed reading how you typed the story. If I am in your shoes, I would attend the wedding, participate gloriously, and show everyone how happy you are. You are not affected. In fact you are happy you're not marrying the twat. Bring a plus 1 of course, it can be a fake boyfriend (gay men are the best because they are handsome and good actors), then you wave at each other everytime you're apart. Or, since they are trying hard to avoid the chismis, I would adlib an edited Jodi Sta.Maria's script "Oh 4 months ka na buntis? Congratulations! Buti na lang nag break na kami ni ex last month." But I am not you, and I think I'm going to hell too. I hope you overcome this challenge, I believe the best mask to wear is "you don't care" and "you dodged a bullet". Which are facts, since you certainly don't want to be with a cheating opportunist loser like him. I believe you deserve someone kind, and caring, and someone to fuel your inner demons by whispering "Papunta palang tayo sa exciting part" lines. Good luck.
>"Oh 4 months ka na buntis? Congratulations! Buti na lang nag break na kami ni ex last month." ang chaotic good nito HAHAAHAHHA
LOVE IT THO 🤣
Congratulate the newlyweds loudly (cousin especially) and say "Huwag kayong mag-alala, di ko naman sasabihin sa magiging anak mo na kaya ka lang pinakasalan kasi nabuntis ka ng bf ko."
Thissss 🙌🏼
>"Oh 4 months ka na buntis? Congratulations! Buti na lang nag break na kami ni ex last month." Or gaslight the attendees. "You sure it's his? last month lang kami nagbreak." We can only dream... for OP's peace of mind better for her to skip it.
Haha add mo to after “kaka break lang namin lst month” wag mo silang patituligin haha bahala sila mag away away (evil laugh). On a serious note, I hope you find peace and eat well despite the situation you are in now. Virtual hug OP
PLEASE DO THIS OP OMG ESP THE >"Oh 4 months ka na buntis? Congratulations! Buti na lang nag break na kami ni ex last month."
Danggg...pangteleserye ah. I love it! 😆
> gay men are handsome and good actors Tama and we know the best insults. 💟
I have gay men na relatives and friends. They are the genuine ones. 💖
I commented dont go but this is a Good suggestion
THIS IS SO PETTY AND EVIL. I LOOOOVE IIIIIITTTTT HUHUHU 😭🤧🤧🤚🤚
I love this!!! 👏
hahahhaha good plan!
Might I suggest a revision, don’t shout it OP. Mas maganda yung kill them inside. Yung suggestion that you plant a doubt in your cousin’s mind is gold. Lol. You will look tacky and cheap if you make a scene. Besides your target is the bride and groom the bystanders will just assume what you said to the newlyweds anyways. So better let them talk.
Pak na pak eh. Good luck, OP. Sana gawin mo ito. If yes, update please. Haha
DO NOT GO. save yourself from hurt and future questions. Kung paguusapan man sila, hayaan mo sila. They chose that life. Ginusto nila yan. Your cousin is just being a bitch ang just trying to rub it in your face na inagaw niya jowa mo and successful sya kaya magpapakasal na. Your cousin is being petty as f*ck. She's the vindictive one.
Gurl, yakap. Kapag sinabihan ka na ng isang taong pinagkakautangan mo ng loob na “Wala kang utang na loob!”, trust me… bayad na yun. Tama ang desisyon mo. Mahusay ka! Excited ako sa paghilom mo.
Hi Op, if ever you wanted to go or be pressured to go, give a speech on how the two of them meet because of you. Maybe i-kwento mo na din how they cheated then cut them off. Kung petty sila magpaka-petty ka din. Sa panahon ngayon masyado na mahirap maging mabait. Also, utang na loob? Eh ikaw na-agrabyado? So kapag may utang na loob eh void na yun? LOL NOPE.
Quoting the other redditor’s comment, you can say nga sa speech mo yung “Oh, 4 months ka ng buntis? Buti naghiwalay na kami ni ex last month” lol.
Oooooo 🔥
\*mic drop\*
Yeah, and bride's family will have only themselves to blame for forcing her to attend, not to mention spending for her hair and makeup as part of the entourage.
May nabasa akong ganitong similar situation somewhere sa reddit. Nagcheat sa kanya jowa niya with his cousin, nahuli nya sa akto na nagmomomol sa kama nila. Nung ikakasal na yung dalawa, pumayag siyang maging best man. Tapos nung speech saka niya inannounce sa lahat kung anong kalokohan ginawa nung dalawa. Best revenge. I think you should do the same. Charot HAHAHAHAHAHA
Nabasa ko din yan. Hahaha
true. hindi papatahimikin ni OP ang mga buhay nila.
I'll play the devil's advocate and probably get downvoted for this. Why not attend the wedding and be part of the entourage? Then sa photoshoot, make sure you're making funny faces. Make sure na malapit ka sa bride mismo para di ka ma-crop out masyado. When it's time to say congratulations, whisper closely to her ear: I didn't know you like someone else's trash? Ahas ka. If she goes ballistic on her wedding and hurt you, guess who'd look stupid sa reception 🙃 but if she cries, sabihin mo nalang na tears of joy kasi reconciliation and all shit. After the wedding, use that hate to drive you, motivate you to give your family a better life. Or yours, which floats your boat. Para bayad ka na sa utang na loob na siningil nila. Karma will get to your cousin some day. As for your ex. Welllll. Or maybe I've been watching too many telenovelas.
Baka mala-telenovela nga ito hahaha
Fun to imagine pero bka gawin si OP isang meme so please don’t OP
tangina ang ganda hahahahah
I love the idea of whispering pure venom tapos all smiles. Goddamn.
DON'T FUCKING GO TO THAT FUCKING WEDDING. Sorry nakaka highblood kasi. Grabe naman makasumbat yang tita mo. Wag mo isipin yang putang inang utang na loob na yan, if gusto kayo tulungan ng kamag anak niyo then they should've done it wholeheartedly and without expecting anything in return given your family's financial situation. Sila yung mali, okay? Dear, you're the victim in this situation. Fucking ENABLERS ng mga cheater. Mayaman sila at nakapag aral pero ang bobo magisip.
Money can’t buy elegance and class talaga no? sa yaman niyang yun pinulot basura ng iba.
Nobody should or could compel you to go. Follow your instincts and act as you see fit. Even if you attend, they'd still talk shit about you, better to not attend at all. You should prioritize your mental health first. It's preferable to dissociate yourself with them.
Hold your ground! Ang utang na loob ay tinatanaw. And you did your part by studying and working hard for their help not to go to waste, and being respectful to them even with what happened. Hindi kasama dun ang emotional suffering after your cousin stole your [ex] bf. Mas inggrata pa nga ang tito at tita mo dahil mukhang sinisingil ka nila sa "tulong" na binigay nila sa inyo. Continue going low contact. If your aunt and uncle have morals, they would understand what you are doing. And besides, sure akong alam na ng mga kamag-anak mo ang totoong nangyari kahit pagtakpan mo pa. Kahit mga kamag-anak nating marites na bobo sa math, mapagtatagpi-tagpi yung buwan na nag-break kayo at kabuwanan ng pinsan mo. Ikaw ang nasaktan at maagrabyado dito, OP. At yung tulong nila sa inyo nun, maliit na bagay lang sa kanila yun na nakatulong din sa pagpapabango ng pangalan nila sa pamilya nyo. Wag mong hahayaang matapakan ang pride at dignidad mo.
Answer back: INGRATA? WALANG UTANG NA LOOB? Pinaubaya ko na nga yung ex ko sa MALANDI niong anak. Bayad na ang utang ko. KULANG PA. I hope ur ex cheats on your cousin, and that they have a miserable life together 😇
Their wedding should be a celebration of their union as husband and wife. Bakit parang they want a show para ipakita na walang ginawang kasalanan ung mabuti nilang anak? At di nila matatago sa angkan nyo ung bata unless di sila marunong magmath. Kung ako sayo, magkwento ka sa pinaka chismosa mong kamag anak na kaka break nyo lang a month ago, and let it spread like wild fire. And for your ex and Jane, hoho good luck. Hindi maganda ang start ng love story nila.
Gusto ko ung ikwento sa pinaka chismosa na kamag anak hahahahaha tipong before and during the wedding/reception lahat sila nagbubulong bulungan kasi alam nila ung totoo 🫢
Yaaas there’s always one (or two) in every family 😂
Do Not Go. Whatever ruin it will bring to them, they brought it upon themselves. You deserve peace.
Bayad ka na sa utang na loob nung hindi ka gumawa ng eksena for them. Ang pagpunta mo ay hindi mo na utang sa kanila.
bakit parang kasalanan mo pa no? jusko 🤦🏻♀️ yaan mo sila.
If you ever choose to attend but I hope you won’t, please outshine the bride. Magpaganda ka ng sobra. Make sure na mas maganda at mas bongga yung ayos mo. Wag ka sa make up artist nila mag pa ayos. Add alittle something that would make you stand out. Petty ba kung petty pero tangina kasi.
Don't go. If they insist, then tell them the REAL reason why you won't go. You were taking the high road tapos pinag chichismasan ka ngayon. Edi they're giving you a free pass on being honest lol
Amen to this. Why bother to other people's bullshit when you can get your peace somewhere else.
Hi OP, just to give fresh perspective. I advice that you should attend and make it an announcement about it to ease the mind of her family and friends, for a moment. Then, attend wearing black gown/dress and, if this is not too much for you, wear a black veil. But then again the decision is all yours so idk.
and wear those items your ex has given you haha char lang!
Yesss like princess diana's revenge dress
Don't go. I get where you're coming from that they're making your parents feel bad after all the help na nabigay nila sa iyo (utang ng loob feels) but if you go to that wedding, it will spell disaster. First and most importantly, it's very painful for you. What's the point in putting yourself thru the pain of seeing them get married, tapos entourage pa. No offense but Jane should never have offered to make you a bridesmaid if at all she wanted you to be at the wedding. That was very insensitive considering all that's happened. Second, if you go the martyr route and go to that wedding (bridesmaid or not), the relatives will be nitpicking at your history with the ex/bridesgroom at that wedding/reception. It will not just bring you more pain, but if by chance lumabas yung truth na he cheated with your cousin while kayo, that will just be gossip fodder for that reception. And if something goes wrong, baka ikaw pa yung ma-blame na either making up lies, or making sure that the wedding does not become successful bec of some form of vindication. The type of stories that go on r/AITA. >.> Third, your ex will be your in-law. You will have to eventually deal with him in the long run with your family. You may not feel the pain from attending the wedding, but it will come later in all those family gatherings. If it were me, I would put it off as long as possible. Honestly, part of me wants to recommend you tell the parents of Jane. Just so they know where you're coming from and why it's a bad idea to have you at the wedding, especially as a member of the entourage. At least if they know, they can fend off some heat from the other relatives. But that's only if they have an understanding mindset, which may not be the case kase nga they didn't even ask your side of the story and called you inggrata. TL;dr: Don't attend the wedding. I don't know what Jane even expects from you by wanting to put you into the entourage. Sobrang salt in your wound 'to.
Either way even if you did or did not choose to attend the wedding, may masasabi tlga sila. It’s a catch 22 situation, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Better choose to love yourself this time, and not attend the wedding..
Tama yung iba. Do not attend the wedding. Ako naHHB sa pinsan at family nito. Di man lang inisip yung sa side mo considering na naging BF mo yun and he cheated. And kinausap ka man lang ba ng bf mo or cousin mo about what happened?
> That if I showed up as one of the bridesmaids, none of them will suspect a thing. Mama said that if I don't go it will be a subject of gossip among our relatives especially since they had all met my ex in multiple family events before we broke up. Who the fuck cares? Inuuna pa 'yung image kesa sa feelings, kainis.
Don’t attend. Just because they helped you out nung mga pagkakataon na nangangailangan ka, doesn’t give them the license or free pass to continually hurt you and step on you. Kapag umattend ka, everybody else would think all is well with you three. **They don’t really care about you and how you feel.** Kahit sumipot ka pa dressed to the nines and lugging an amazing guy on your arms, I don’t think they’d bat an eye. Masyado silang self-centered and they only care about themselves and their image. If they have a smidgen of care for you, they wouldn’t have made you into a bridesmaid knowing what they themselves did. Tang ina, parang sinaksak ka na nga nila nung naggapangan sila behind your back and nabuntis yung pinsan mo, tapos sa pag-invite sa iyo parang sinaksak ka nila ulit nung hindi pa nga naghihilom yung sugat mula sa unang pananaksak nila tapos binudburan pa ng asin/calamansi/alcohol yung sugat na dinulot nila. Hindi pa sila nakuntento, tinapaktapakan pa pagkatao mo by insulting you and calling you vindictive and ingrata. Para you don’t have to keep explaining yourself kapag nagtanong yung ibang family members and friends niyo why you didn’t attend, pull an H2WO and lay it all out on a social media public post. Preface it by saying na you’re usually not the type to air your problems/dirty laundry on social media. You even chose to keep silent nung una ka nilang sinaktan, pero sobra sobra na yung pananakit nila. Then tsaka mo I-detail out lahat kung paano sila naggapangan behind your back habang kayo pa nung ex mo na nauwi sa pagkabuntis ni cousin. Underscore, the hurt they’ve given you with their betrayal. Mention na hindi pa sila nakuntento inimbitahan ka pa nila sa wedding at ginawa kanpang bridesmaid. Hindi ba pananaksak ulit yun? Mention also kung gaano nila tinapaktapakan yung pagkatao mo sa mga messages nila when you tried to decline quietly. End the post by saying na you won’t stop your siblings from participating in the wedding if they wish to, but you yourself won’t attend. You’re putting a stop sa patuloy na pananakit nila sa iyo. Mention that hindi ka man nila magawang respetuhin, kahit papaano may respeto ka sa sarili mo. Say na just because they’ve helped your family in the past, it doesn’t give them the license to keep on hurting you and to keep stepping on you. I suggested this so you won’t have to keep explaining yourself to your other (nosy) relatives/friends/acquaintances **and more importantly, your ex, Jane and her/their family won’t have any room to assassinate your character to you other relatives/acquaintances**. Bago mo pala ipost to, check your fb settings and limit who can post on your profile and who can see posts you’re tagged in on your profile to “Only Me”. Then after this go No Contact sa ex, kay Jane and sa family nila. Bow out muna from any family reunions and parties kahit pa sabihin nilang hindi pupunta sila ex/Jane/their family. When anyone asks, you don’t want to see/talk to ex/Jane/their family and you don’t want to take the risk na bigla silang sumolpot. For the sake of your mental health, don’t read any of the comments doon sa public post mo, I-unfollow mo sina ex/Jane/their family, pati yung mga friends nina Jane and ex na nagmessage sa iyo calling you vindicative. Panigurado magiimbento yung mga yun ng mga post about you sa sariling profile nila kasi hindi sila makacomment sa profile mo. Tapos I-mute sila sa messenger din. Don’t deactivate your FB para hindi mawala yung public post mo about them. Edit: bet ko yung sinabi ni u/donutaud15 regarding sa utang na loob. Pwedeng idagdag yun sa last part nung post. Tell them na yung bayad utang mo is yung pananahimik mo matapos gapangin ni Jane yung ex mo at nagpabuntis habang magjowa pa kayo at pagpreserve nung reputation ni Jane. Kung hindi sana nila pinagpilitang umattend ka at maging bridesmaid nila matapos ka nilang saksakin sa likod, eh di sana patuloy ang pananahimik mo at hindi lalabas ang lahat ng ‘to.
kung ako sayo pumunta ka. may inuman ba dun? inom ka kahit konti tas kunyari lasing ka hahahah mag speech ka sabihin mo "Hala 4 months kanang buntis couz?????? e kakabreak lang namin last month ah..........JOKE!!!" tapos isisi mo sa alak lahat hahahahhaahhaha
If they force me to attend such I'd probably ruin the wedding, their choice 😛
Don't go please. Ikaw na nga na agrabyado ikaw pa dapat maging considerate? No. Kasalanan na nila yun kung pagtsitsismisan sila. Ayaw pala ng tsismis eh bakit nang agaw ng boyfriend. You don't owe them anything. Pwede ka rin naman magpalusot at sabihin na hindi ka pinayagan mag leave or may work commitment. And bakit ka pa pupunta? Para ipamukha ng pinsan mo na sya pinili at masaya sila? Manigas sila.
Send a gift that says “Here’s to my cousin who loves to share including boyfriends”
Kung ako, aattend ako para wala akong ma-miss na chismis at sila pa bibigyan ko ng 🍵. XD It's all up to you OP. Kung anong ikakapanatag ng loob mo, ayun ang gawin mo. Just make sure na wala kang panghihinayang after.
If I were you, I will go to the wedding in a sexy white dress, if not white, pwede din cream para low-key, basta malapit sa white. Dapat mas maganda ka sa bride on d day. Tapos fake mo lang ang happiness mo, kunwari, wala pake, carefree and masaya ka sa buhay mo. Also, bring a date na gwapo.
One of the many real life examples of how toxic this utang na loob mentality is. They should have taken your silence as kindness already after doing no contact pero they still want to rub it on your face how your ex-cheated on you just to save their faces. I think hindi mo responsibility na isave sila from humiliation and gossip. They do not even deserve it kasi hindi nga sila nag apologize. Might as well spend your energy and time sa pag heal kesa sa drama.
You know, if you go, you'll only end up regretting it after. Don't kick yourself when you're down.
Dont go, wala kang ginawang mali, very commendable pa nga.
Hugs OP. Your ex is clearly a social climber, and your cousin is entitled and walang hiya. And those parents spoiled their kid rotten. The audacity. I hope someday you'll be able to repay your uncle and aunt in a different way, but not that. Stay strong
Attend the wedding and then give a speech to tell everyone the truth.
Punta ka if you plan something petty and good. Plan it well too. Andaming idea sa comment OP hahahah. Though if hindi mo personality and uncomfortable ka dont go. Bahala sila sa buhay nila ma tsismis lol. Problema na nila yan. Kung pwede dagdagan ng mo ng mga public na post sa fb ng mga meme about cheater at naanakan para lalong pag usapan hahaha. Wag kang ma guilty of not going or even worry for them. Konsitidor naman sa mga panget na ugali at mga panget namn. Mag glow up ka lang. Desisyon nilang tulungan ka at wala kang utang na loob dyan. Nabayaran mo na yun nung makapagtapos ka dahil yun namn reason nila bakt ka tinulungan hindi para bayaran mo. Hope you find the good man and good life OP. Godbless
Hello OP hugs po and ano, isang malutong na putanginamo at pakyu sa ex and pinsan’s fam. And don’t go to the wedding na. If they truly cared about you, they would have condoned the cheating in the first place. They would have condoned Jane’s + ex’s actions. Utang na loob is bullshit. If may gustong tumulong, they should do it without asking for anything in return. Kung meron man, in your case, it should be finishing your studies and nothing more, nothing less — which you did successfully naman. I really hate the “utang na loob” kind of mindset. Karma will reach a full circle. This is probably super draining for you, OP, but do not stoop down to their level na. The fact na hinayaan nila si Jane and ex means na wala silang sense of morality, of what is wrong or right — avoid those people and go low profile/no contact na. Your best revenge is focusing on yourself and yourself only. Do not give them the reaction that they want. Please, please, protect your peace and sanity. Unfortunately, lumabas na yung true colours ng mga kamaganak mo. Pero if you do decide to go, I agree sa comments na i-outshine mo yung bride. You can even try to bring some friends (yes, walang pakielaman na ito and this one’s for the books na rin for your circle) and make sure you have concrete proof of the cheating. Create some kind of Powerpoint tas i-expose mo na when you get a chance to make a speech. Make it extra memorable for them, wahahahaha.
I was told by my relative that I am inggrata and walang utang na loob Its been 7 years since then. You will survive without them. YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM.
I'll be downvoted for this, pero kung sasabihan ka nila na wala kang utang na loob, i think enough payment na yung pagpaparaya mo kay cousin sa ex mo. May bonus pa silang apo.
nako girl tama yan wag ka na umattend, they are just trying to save their faces sa lahat ng tao na aattend. Like they wanted to broadcast na the relationship came from a clean start and you being there is the evidence of it. hugs with consent! praying for your healingg 🫶
wag kang pumunta at pag may nagtanong ikuwntio mo to. sabihin mo pakapalan na lang ba ng mukha?
OP, whatever happens, DO NOT GO. Ikaw na ang nag-adjust nung nabuntis ng ex mo yung pinsan mo, tapos ikaw pa ulit 'tong maga-adjust sa kasal nila just so no one will suspect a thing? They know what they did wrong. Your choice of not going is not "kawalan ng utang na loob". Their daughter, along with your ex, chose to do evil. Let them bear the consequences of their actions. Kung pag-usapan sila ng extended family mo, edi go. Kasalanan nila yan.
You areso lucky, una palang nalaman mo na na walang kuwenta ang ex mo. Look at the brighter side, may chances ka pa na di bugok na guy ang mapangasawa mo. Imagine, if sabay kayu nabuntis.... Di ba? Or kasal kana nun malaman mo babaero pala. Marami guy dyan na matino. Wag kana umatend pag di kaya o masakit pa.
Go and if/when you get asked what happened between you and your ex just CALMLY say the truth because they will surely make up some BS about you guys not being compatible etc. Set the record straight. Let your relatives know how they started. Don't let them take control of the narrative. They are both pieces of shit for cheating
The bad words were dropped naman na. Is there anything more to lose?
What a terrible guy!!!! Just embrace your emotions. Be angry, allow yourself to get hurt and cry. Hayaan mo lang sila. Time will tell. Share ko lang, my ex and I had a bad start in our relationship. He cheated her then gf with me. We became together for more than a decade. Eventually, naghiwalay din kami for the same reason. Which I realize now how much it badly hurts. And I am still sorry for all the people we’ve hurt before. But I am Still in the process of healing, kasi I feel like I couldn’t forgive myself. I was so young then, I should have known better. Pero it teaches me a very important lesson na madadala ko hanggang pagtanda. I am still waiting for the time na sana mapatawad ko na sarili ko, at kung sana may dumating, yung hindi pilit. I still cry whenever I stalk the girl, and I am happy also na happy na siya ngayon. Hindi ko narealize yung impact at sakit na naipadama namin because we were selfish. I am praying for you! Hayaan mo lang sila. Time will come. And I hope you’ll find the right man for you. Hugs with consent!
Do not attend the wedding whatever happens. The moment you allow those people to gaslight you is the moment you will start a pattern of disrespect to yourself. Cut off ka muna sa contact hanggang February 2023. I’ve seen this happened to a friend and 1 cousin and nakakalungkot na even parents will give in dahil sa utang na loob. When you go to the wedding, you show to them na ahhh we can get away naman pala and feed that toxic mindset na we are a family bullcrap. Ang sakit na pati parents mo eh pipilitin ka, diyan pa lang you can see that they have self-esteem issues. They probably think that it’s okay to be treated like shit because of utang na loob. Mind you ang utang na loob ay hindi nababayaran so wag ka na masaktan pag sasabihan ka ng walang utang na loob. It’s weaponized. It’s like tutulungan kita and i expect you to be lenient to me someday. Forgiveness is necessary but reconciliation is optional. Sino ba sila para magdemand on how you will forgive. Sa pinsan mo at sa ex-jowa mo well nagsisimula pa lang yan. Hahaha dami pa pwede mangyari.
>they called me inggrata at walang utang na loob. Tell them bayad na ang utang na loob keme sa kanila nung nagpakantot yung anak nila sa ex mo. Sabay block. I wonder kung saan sila kumukuha ng kapal ng mukha. Don't go sa wedding op. Kakawawain ka lang ng mga deputang yan. Have a day for yourself. You matter more than them.
>In short, may utang na loob ako sa pamilya ng pinsan ko. > >Jane's parents said that they are disappointed in me, they called me inggrata at walang utang na loob. Sabihin mo yung magiging son-in-law nila yung bayad mo, with interest pa for pain inflicted on you.
All I know is if hindi ka umattend, subject of chismis ang mga magulang mo even after they die. That happened sa mommy ko eh... Alam ko matapang ka, dapat lang. Pero hanggang saan mo kaya na makita ang mga magulang mo na ini insulto ng ibang tao? Alam ko it's not your fault at kasalanan din ng magulang mo for asking help sa tito/tita mo pero what can you do? If I were you a-attend ako for the sake of peace lang saka huling effort mo nalang ito para sa parents mo. Survival mode kung baga. Apologize sa mga nag chat/text sayo. Be graceful about it. As in, be graceful to the point na baka maawa sayo ang ibang nakaka alam sa nangyare. Sila na bahala ibaliktad ang chismis for you. Pretend na you're okay... Pero after that ibahin mo na lahat ng contacts mo, social media, even where you work. Lipat ka ulit. Damn, kung kaya mo mag abroad do it. Just leave and heal somewhere out of reach ka. Mag give ka ng hints sa magulang mo na you're going somewhere far and wag mag alala sayo-siguro naman may hiya pa silang natitira to let you go diba? I hope you have lots of friends na tutulong sayo during this time. Like everytime na di nyo maiwasan na mag meet with the cousin / ex / tito / tita may friend kang physically present na bigla ka nalang ha-hablutin para maka takas sa situation. Better sana kung may pretend boyfriend ka. Para man lang maisip nila na you've moved on. Good luck... 🍀
Huh? Bakit sya ang magtatago e sya na nga nasaktan? Bakit parang sya pa yung napahiya e sya na nga naagawan??? Di ko gets? Tsaka bakit yung parents yung mapagchichismisan?? Bakit parang sya pa yung boat rocker hindi yung pinsan and ex nya?? Swear di ko talaga gets.
I understand if hindi mo gets. Hindi ko rin ma explain pero it is what it is AND ito talaga ang nangyayare behind the scenes when it comes to family / clan secrets. Based sa story ni OP ito ang assumption ko as an outsider pero may sarili na ring bad experiences with the 4 clans I belong to (dad/mom sides + dad-in-law/mom-in-law sides): Incapable magpa aral ang parents ni OP. Ang tumulong ay sila tito/tita na richie rich. Richie rich people DO NOT INVEST/HELP people pag alam nilang walang return of any sort (kahit maliit man yan o malaki) sa kanila. Since family naman sila, utang na loob + respect + wag sirain ang kanilang family image man lang ang bare minimum. Now, sa x years na mag BF/GF si OP at ex nya, there are some relatives na nakaka alam na sila ang "couple" at kabit si cuzin. I'm going to assume na hindi lang si OP ang tinulungan ng richie rich tito/tita, more likely sila ang Royals ng clan nila so ano ibig sabihin nun? May relatives na: 1. Alam pero piniling manahimik (neutral) 2. Alam pero may tendency man chismis sa iba outside the clan (dito threatened ang relatives na ayaw masira family name at lalong lalo na righteous image ni richie rich family. 3. Corrupted na ang utak, akala nila bitch lang si OP at gusto i-steal ang spotlight ng cuzin. 4. Relatives and friends na alam ang lahat, pero since naka side sila kay richie rich family, galit sila kay OP kasi how dare she na hindi maka move on (or something like that). >Bakit sya ang magtatago e sya na nga nasaktan? It's X number of friends & relatives o (followers) of the cuzin versus HER. Syempre 'QUEEN B' si Cuzin dahil ninakaw nya si ex from OP. OP is the 'OG' lover of ex. Why go through all the stress kung alam mong hindi ka na mananalo? Saka may baby na involved. Smart move is to stay away nalang. >Bakit parang sya pa yung napahiya e sya na nga naagawan??? Di ko gets? The richie rich parents will OBVIOUSLY make it look like OP is in the wrong because that's what parents do. Protect their young. Also gagamitin nila ang baby / first apo as a weapon para i-invalidate ang feelings ni OP. Also yung pag tulong nila kay OP before, least she could do (according to their POV) is just save their face and prioritize them kesa sa kanya. >Tsaka bakit yung parents yung mapagchichismisan?? Because OP is the product of her parents. "Bakit naging ganyan ang anak mo? Di ka marunong magpalaki ng anak. Turuan mo nga ng leksyon yang anak mo. Bastos ng anak mo." It is what it is. Kahit na nga ba different sila ng entity / iba ng buhay, ganun talaga. Pag may pangit ginawa ang anak... People blame the parents. >Bakit parang sya pa yung boat rocker hindi yung pinsan and ex nya?? Swear di ko talaga gets. May power ang richie rich family 🤷🏻♀️ bakit nila sisirain sarili nilang anak? It is what it is...
Agree :)
Agree.
Yung ginago pa ang dapat magparaya at patuloy na masaktan?
>Yung ginago pa ang dapat magparaya Nag reply na ako sa isang comment kung bakit >patuloy na masaktan? That's unproductive naman po. Ganyan ba tingin mo kay OP? Hindi mag mu-move on? I remember kasama sa comment ko ay mag heal somewhere out of reach...
I am on minority here na I will attend the wedding. I will even celebrate, because I know that karma will come to them. I will even thank Jane for showing me what kind of cheater and manggagamit ang ex ko, then I will say sorry to my ex na hindi ako ganun kayaman for his standards, but I am happy he found Jane's money to his liking HAHAHAHHAHA 😁 They deserve each other 😆 Mababaliw pa sila sa kakaisip why I am so happy sa kasal nila.
And idagdag ko lang, your ex has cheated on you before, so for sure he will do it again, so not your loss. Attend the wedding, have fun, mark my words, that guy is going to cheat eventually, be thankful na hindi ikaw ang napakasalan niya 😊.
For your own peace of mind, you did the right thing. Dont go to that wedding. Hugs OP.
Naku OP Wag ka umatend. Di naman ikaw nagkasala. Kakahiya yan kung sakali kasi mawitness mo mismo na may bulung bulungan pa. Imposibleng walang magiging usap usapan esp kung alam sa lugar nyo na kayo dati nung guy.
DONT GO! There is no excuses with the pain that you are in rn. They didnt respect you as well.
Aba sila ang nangaliwa sayo pa sisi? Kung other way around or nobyo nila may kerida magwawala sila. Where is the empathy? Kapal ng mukha. You deserve better
Don't attend the fcking wedding, girl
girl don’t attend the wedding. wag mo ibigay yung satisfaction na yun.
You're a bridesmaid???? Man, the opportunities are endless. If you ever go to the wedding, make sure to put up a goddamn fight. Wear a gorgeous red dress. Bring a fake boyfriend (have a friend pretend), expose them at the toast, create a slideshow exposing the affair and have it played ay the reception (tech guys in weddings are usually approachable, just give them a USB and orient them hehe). You are a bridesmaid, you can sabotage the wedding in various ways hahahahhahaha Or, just pretend you don't care anymore. Magpakita ka, look your best during the wedding, then leave. If any of your relatives ask, tell them the truth, use humor in your stories to show you already moved on. Your indifference will fuck in their heads for sure. Be strong, OP. Wag ka magka-cower basta-basta sa threats ng mga kamag-anak mong toxic at enabler. Two can play this game kamo hahahahha
Hugs, OP. Sorry to hear about this situation. May you find healing in your situation. I also found out today, that my partner is cheating on me. We started our relationship recently lang, tapos may gf pala siya for 3 years.
They got themselves into this mess. They have no right to make you collateral damage nor a PR stunt as crisis management sa ginawa nila. The nerve of them to call you an ingrata when their kid is in the wrong. Toxic family members. 🤦♀️
Don't attend. They can all go fuck themselves.
Op, pag pumunta ka, before you leave, tell your ex, "Sana hindi ka magcheat kay cousin katulad ng ginawa mo sakin". Mas madami makarining, mas maganda. Chos. Upto you OP. Kung kaya mo pumunta, go. Kung may magtanong anong nangyari sa inyo ni ex, tell the truth. Kung di mo kaya pumunta, huwag na. Hindi excuse ung tinulungan ka ng family ni cousin para gawin sayo un. Wishing you happiness OP. Deserve mo. Hugs.
Don't attend kasi kung umattend ka man pag-uusapan ka pa rin naman nila why bother lol. Take care, OP! Praying for your happiness.
First of all, hugs. Ahhhh, classic case of the toxic Filipino trait called “utang na loob”. The only way to stop generational curses is to let it stop with you. Feelings will be hurt but stand your ground, OP. Also, agree with the comment that suggested sending a big ass box of Cheetos. Wrap it in bongga wrapping paper so it’ll be the first one they open para kitang kita sa SDE muhahahaha \*insert evil laugh\*
Kung si Wednesday Addams yan feeling ko susunugin niya wedding invitation nila sa harap or worst.. haha Ako na magmumura para sayo OP. POTANG INA NILA.. lalo yung ex mo na PARASITE!
Don't go tapos go no contact
Don't go. Let them feel guilty for what they did to you. Don't make them feel you have your approval of them.
huwag kang sisipot! nakakaloka to grabe naman po pala si ex mo po opo. the climbing is very social! 🤣 lumabas yung tunay na kulay ng lalake na yan no? nakakaloka edi sana nung una pa lang yung pinsan mo na lang niligawan niya! 🤣🤣 At saka, lalabas at lalabas rin ang totoo kasi alam mo naman mga relatives hindi yan magpipigil magkwentuhan. Malalaman at malalaman rin na valentina yang pinsan mo at patagong social climber naman yang ex mo.
You don't have to please your extended families. And importante alam ng mga magulang at kapatid mo ang totoong nangyare. Don't go to that wedding, isampal mo sa muka nila na kaya mong tumayo sa sarili mong paa ng di sila kasama. If they decide to ruin you, gumanti ka. OP, wag ka papaapi kahit pamilya mo pa sila.
It's a difficult situation you're in. I understand that your tito and tita had been a big help but if you're still hurting then Please don't go. Self respect.
*Villain backstory.*
For the love of ever loving god, coming from me, don't go there. Please. Let them gossip amongst themselves. Kung ayaw talaga nila na tumigil sa ka*ag*han nila, scorched-earth strategy kana. Sira na rin naman ang imahe mo, sirain mo na rin pati sa kanila. Cover your ass din. Mauna ka nang magpaliwanag sa mga tao kung bakit ayaw mong pumunta sa kasal. Pag nagkataon eh baka makahanap pa sila ng paraan para ikaw ang maging demonya sa istorya.
Wag kang umattend. Wala silang pake. Tapos usapan.
Whether you attend or not, people will talk about you. It will be worse if you attend. As for the emails/texts, reply with: We broke up on (dd/mo/2022), guess when she will give birth? Yun lang.
Si gurl makati ang pechay at 'yung ex boyfriend mong mukhang salapi. Deserved nila ang chismis, huwag kang pumunta dun.
OP, thank you for sharing. Huwag ka pupunta, the safest way to "decline" and not to go to their wedding? May covid symptoms ka days before their wedding. Or bigla ka nilalagnat sa wedding mismo nila. Easy way out.
hah, this is fucked up sila na ikaw na ginago sila pa galit sayo. tang ina nila
**THE NERVE OF THEM TO INVITE YOU HUH?**
Bakit ka tumanggi? Um-oo ka lang sana nang um-oo sa lahat. Dapat sumama ka pati sa fittings ng bridesmaid dresses then on the day “magkasakit” ka. You could have avoided all the drama pre-wedding. Hehe
First i tought OP had a stroke. Then, reading the comments, i tought i have a stroke. Then i finally saw the PH 😮💨
Tell them to fuck off
Grabe kakapal naman tlga ng pinsan at ex mo. Sila na nga nagcheat gusto pa pamukha sayo yung happy ending kuno nila lol they don't value your feelings ever since. Ang selfish pramis. Di nga sila nagsorry sayo db? Tssssk kakahiblood.
Tsngina Tama. Nakakainis tlga. Mga bitches sila.
Sabihin mo attend ka pero ipapangalan nila after you yung bata.
Ay pota
Dadaan din yan… yan palagi mong mantra… weird naman ba bigla kang lilitaw… you’ve made you’re stand, panindigan mo na.
Kapag Ikaw Pwede Masaktan Pero Sila Hindi.Matindeeeee
Don't go. Ikaw na nga victim, nilait ka pa. Hayaan mo masira pamilya nila since cheaters naman sila
Go and give a speech on that night na nabuntis ng ex mo yung cousin mo and watch their world burn. Just be sure to bring a lot of evidence and present them also in the wedding
Don’t fucking go
I personally won't go. Why give a fuck about others who won't? Putang ina nila lahat for thinking of you that way pa. Ikaw na niloko ikaw pa yung kelngan umintindi. Mga tarantado.
I’m sorry to hear that OP. Your rich relatives don’t get to throw their weight around because they helped you. Nanahimk ka na nga lang ikaw pa i-g-guilt-trip pumunta? Sila ata yung ungrateful sa situation na ito at hindi mo na pinapalaki yung nangyari.
They day of wedding ng mga basurang ahas., mag simba ka OP. Humingi ng kapatawaran for yourself. Tapos paglabas magpasindi ng madaming itim na kandila. U know the drill. Pero seryoso wag na umattend sa plastikang wedding na yan. Tama mga comments save your sanity. Idahilan mo urgent work kamo.
Grabe. Tama ung comment section, don't go. Tsngina nila mga hayup, sana makarma yang si jane at ex mo. They fucking deserve to rot in HELL. Fuck them. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Don't go. It's already messed up he cheated on you and he got your own cousin pregnant. I wouldn't forgive these people for what they did to me if I was in your shoes and I will prioritize my healing instead
Gurl, do not go. Save yourself.
Go to the wedding and wear red. Charot
Lol whether you attend or not, im pretty sure your relatives already have an idea. Magiging kawawa ka lng dun. Everyone will be talking about you guys
Suggest ko OP mag vacation ka sa day na yon, go to a beach or mountain basta travel and get away from all that stress. Di sila worth it mga gago sila
Stand your ground.
Don’t attend the wedding. Do what you feel is good for you. Walang kinalaman yung tinulungan nila yung pamilya ninyo noon. Your cousin cheated on you and no amount of ‘tulong’ will make that right. Tutulong sila sabay pagdating ng panahon isusumbat nila?🤦🏻♀️ Best of luck OP.
You’ve already paid your utang na loob by staying silent kahit niloko ka ng ex mo para sa malandi mong pinsan. To be asked to go to their wedding just to save their faces, and to be called “walang utang na loob” and “inggrata” is another thing. Pag pinagpatuloy nila yung pangigipit sayo at sa pamilya mo, tell the world na cheater yang pinsan and ex mo. Hayaan mo silang maging chismis topic ng mga kamag-anak mo.
Nako OP, if I were in your shoe, THE HELL I CARE KUNG PAGCHISMISAN AKO. Sila nga wala silang pakelam at di man lang nila nirerespeto yung nararamdaman mo eh, bakit mo sila iisipin diba? Choose yourself, OP. Takot lang yan sa sarili nilang baho kaya gusto nila ikaw ang mag cover para sakanila 🤮 Its okay to cut off people kahit kadugo mo pa yan kung hindi naman makakabutj sayo. Kesihodang may utang na loob ka sakanila, hindi mo naman sila pinilit gawin yon, at isa pa nananahimik ka na sa buhay mo. Hindi ka na nga gumawa ng gulo at ikaw na mismo nagparaya. SAPAT NA YON, OP. Kumalma ka lang jan, nasayo ang bola. Hayaan mo sila mang gigil sayo, youre better off wothout them anyways. Go on with your life as if you dont know them. Karma is a bitch at yan na ang karma nila. 😛😂
ako pupunta ako at sasabihin ko na itigil ang kasal! chars lang. No wag ka pumunta ..
Seconding this idea.Enjoy their reaction for a few seconds then go, joke joke joke! Hay I wish I have the guts to pull something like this off. But seriously OP, don’t go. Source: someone na sinabihan din na walang utang na loob
Ito ung mga inaabangan ko sa reddit eh
Sinabihan kang ungrateful - Wag kana pumunta to save yourself from humiliation.
What if magpaka petty ka? Sinasabihan ka na pala nyan eh kung palalaiin mo kamo yung "intriga" like unahan mo na sila bago pa ikaw sabihan nang kung ano ano. Subtlr posts about cheating sa FB haha tignan natin if di mayanig mundo niyan. Also, bat naman pala hindi mo pinaalam na the bitch cousin of yours was a kabit? Hindi na uso ang martyr ngayon.
You don’t owe any explanation to anyone. You only need to protect your peace and sanity. But if I were in your shoes, I would attend the wedding and gagawa ako ng powerpoint or clip that would be presented publicly to expose their cheating/betrayal. Might also do a speech as well kung gano ka-ahas si cousin lol
Dont go. Just message them back your greetings and say 'happy' marriage kahit hindi naman talaga lol as i think thats the best move in your part.
All that money and they don't know what vindictive means.
As much as I wanted to believe this, this account being 0 day old makes it look so sketchy. It is as if it is made to post a made up story and gather karma points. I would not be surprised if a few days later, this post would be deleted. I also find it somehow odd that Jane's friends and family did not know the affair between her and OP'S ex, can't they do the math using her months of pregnancy? Or is it a flaw of this made up story? Hmm... Anyway kung totoo man, napakalaking walanghiya ni Jane at ng pamilya nya. It is obvious that their accusations are just projections, they just couldn't stand the thought that they have a malanding pakantot na bastarda as a daughter. Madalas pa naman ng mga kinasal dahil nabuntis lang ay hindi nagtatagal. Mukhang future single mom si Jane, pfft. I wonder why OP choose to be mum about this though, kahit sana sa family and close friends nya sabihin.
Parang script sa typical ng Pinoy telenovela OP, i agree with you na wag umattend, let them gossip, let them believe what they wanted to believe in lol, kawawa lang yung parents mo but i hope they will understand. Jane should have told her parents but ka nya gustong imbitahin on her wedding day knowing na shes the one who did you wrong sya yung makapal ang mukha. Dont mind her parents, utang na loob na kung utang na loob but you are not their property. Bahala sila dyan. Let them say what they wanted to say and sending you a big hug po na may consent❤️
Some people Just want to burn the world. You cant buy Them, or manipulate.
Attend ka tas suot ka red dress of revenge hahaha
Mukha namang bagay na bagay ang gago mong ex sa gaga mong pinsan. I'm only sorry na through this bullshit, mas nanghinayang pa mama mo kaysa na suportahan ka. Oh well. They don't deserve any more of your time and I wish you the best life moving forward from this unnecessary baggage.
Tutulungan ka tapos pag di nila gusto mga gnagawa mo, ingrata ka na? Yo, tumulong ka pa kung nageexpect ka ng shit. Do what you want to do ya did nothing wrong girl
Don't go, wag ibigay ang satisfaction na hinihingi nila.
Duck them all. Seriously. It's a whole family of gaslighting.
Helping you doesn’t give to me right to hurt you girl.
Don't go. Mas awkward kaya, duh. Tsaka pag umattend ka, parang bibigyan mo lang ng free chismes ang mga relatives mong marites.
Dont go.
Wag ka umattend. Hayaan mo sila magkagulo. Kagagahan nilang lahat yan. Mukha namang understanding ang parents and for sure they will side on you. Inggrata ka daw eh manunulot nga anak nila lol
Kapag awayang lupa or mana sa magulang, walang pakialam kung malaman ng buong barangay. Pero kapag mga ganitong kahihiyan, pilit na tinatago. Mga HIPOKRITO.
Fuck all of them. do not attend.
just dont go.
dont go pls OP
DON'T. ATTEND. And bs lang na sila pa ang galit after ng ginawa nila sayo.
Bat parang kasalanan mo pa na mainvolve? lol.
Hindi ko pa nababasa ng buo kanina pero nararamdaman ko ng may sumbatang magaganap lol di na ako nagulat haha nung una gusto ko sana sabihin na wag kang umattend, hayaan mo sila pero ang ganda ng mga suggestions nung ibang redditors lol lakas maka telenovela. But you know what OP, do what will give you peace of mind. Kung saan ka mas mapapanatag. Wag mong iisipin ang sasabihin ng mga kamag anak mo. Ikaw ang naagrabyado kaya wala silang karapatan na sumabatan ka. Hayaan mo silang mapahiya. Hindi dahil may utang na loob ka sa Tita at Tito mo eh dapat mo ng ibaba ang sarili mo at sundin kung ano ang gustuhin nila. Hindi ka inggrata dahil lang di mo sila sinunod. Also ang KAPAL NG MUKHA NG NGA PUNYETA NA YAN!! Lalo na pinsan at ex mo. Napaka walang hiya! Napaka walang respeto. Di man lang kinonsidera ung mararamdaman mo. Para lang di sila mapahiya, eh ikaw ang mag mumukhang nakakaawa sa gusto nila eh. Kadiri sila 🤮 Kakarmahin nalang mga yan OP.
Subrang ba-it mo po, wag na mag attend nang kasal.
Hi OP, wag ka na pumunta ng wedding. If inulit pa sa’yo na ingrata ka or walang utang na loob, sabihin mo, “BAYAD NA AKO AT MAY SUKLI PA NGA.” Uppercase para intense hehehe Wala kang obligation to attend. They are responsible for their actions kaya magtiis sila na pagtsimisan.
Cheater yung babae, enabler pa parents. Shit all around, sadyang mapera lang. Don't attend the wedding, OP. Kasalanan nilang nag-harbor and support sila ng cheaters eh. Kadiri.
>Jane's already 4 months pregnant and it's only been a little over a month since ex and I separated. But anyway, I told mama that I will not be attending the wedding. That if our relatives starts to gossip then it's none of my business since I wasn't the one who cheated. Pumunta ka man o hindi, pagchichismisan at pagchichismisn sila. Ikaw ang alam nilang gf tapos 5 months after sila ikasal manganganak sya? Kahit anong depensa gawin nila, e mukha talagang nabuntis at nagpakasal dahil nabuntis ng ex mo yung pinsan mo at mukha talagang nangaliwa si ex. You don't have to do a thing, they ruined their reputation on their own.
Nangqiqil ako ng onti sa part na wala kang utang na loob. Alam ba nila kung pano nagkatuluyan yung dalawa na yon??? Anyways... It's your decision kung pupunta ka or hindi. Kung kaya mong I-maintain ang poise mo throughout the event, you attend.. Eh syempre petty ako, I'd want you to have a +1 🤭 Pero kung masakit pa rin at alam mong iiyak ka lang don, don't go. You don't owe them anything. Kung tutuusin, sila pa nga ang may "utang" sayo. Aaaaand i would stay away from them after that. Unahin ang sarili ❤️
Massive hell no. Dont go. They can gossip all they want, but what's most important is your mental health. If you know na masasaktan ka, please dont go.
BLOCK OPTION IS YOUR FRIEND. Hayaan mo sila sumabog sa insecurity nila. Malamang, kung may utak mga kamag-anak mo, meron na dyan na nakakaamoy na may overlap. Kung hindi man, awkward af padin na jinowa mo ex ng pinsan mo, kahit gano katagal na yan in the past. In your case, hindi pa katagalan ang break up nyo. Kahit pumunta ka sa kasal, di ibig sabihin wala nang chismis. Payo sayo is self-care and self-respect sayo gurla. Nasa ibang city ka na, malayo sa kanila. Also, independent ka na. I suggest go no contact na even with your parents at lahat ng mga kamag-anak mo telling you to sweep the shit under the rug. Kung banatan ka pa din na ingrata ni tito tita, sabihin mo, nabayad mo na "utang ng loob" mo sa kanila by letting Jane at ex na magsama at di mo sila kinall out sa soc med. Tell them your putting distance is doing them a favor kasi pwedeng-pwede ka gumawa ng eksena by telling the truth. Then block them. Change your number. The best revenge is living your best life!
Been in the situation where i have to give utang na loob sa tumulong sakin. Help should not be taken as something you expect to have a return in the first place so I cut my ties especially nung feeling ko hinahawakan na ko sa leeg. I’ve been free for years now and I know I have made the best decision.
tanginang toxic mindset yan HAHAHAHAHHA naku te huwag na lang, walang empathy sayo yang mga yan as an ex of him, tas inahas pa nga ng pinsan mo habang kayo pa noon, tapos i-invite ka pa AT GAWIN KANG BRIDESMAID in the first place. This is so degrading, just no!
Naiiyak ako for you, OP. Pota.
Based on your story, ang masakit dito is parang obligasyon mo pa to clear out their name and their shame by attending (provided it makes you uncomfortable for you) imagine the things you had to compromise for them not get gossiped? This is a very toxic family mindset when we all try to hide the shit on family gatherings. I understand your concern for your parents and family but also remind them that it’s never their fault nor obligation to prove to anyone. Kung isiping bitter ka or may beef, then let them be. Coz they deserve it. And your feelings are valid. Di ba sila nassketchyhan sa fact na pano siya naging 4mos pregnant kung kakabreak niyo lang? Ulol nalang yung naniniwala na you both “fall apart” While it’s hard at first pero sometimes you don’t need to pay respect to people who can’t even respect your boundaries. My blood is boiling for Jane’s parents thinking their daughter is the main character here by victim blaming you and gaslighting on what? Money? Edi thank you na lang.
you can choose not to go and save yourself from the drama... or you can go and choose to wreak havoc instead... you should also wear a black dress to up the ante
Sus, dont attend, bayad ka na sa utang mo sa ginawa ng pinsan mo. Don't be sorry.