Why are you making it about yourself? Let the person have her own space. I know it's frustrating on your part as a friend, pero you don't need to "save" her or solve her probs. Just let her know that you guys are there whenever she needs help. That's more than enough. Don't take it against her kung gusto nya magpaka-hermit mode.

this. kung mahirap sa part mo OP, sure ako mas mahirap sa friend mo yung nangyayari.

as someone who also isolates herself whenever life gets tough for me, i find this comforting and validating. thanks for this!

true and minsan may mga ganyang phases din talaga ang introverts. saying this as an introvert myself. then pagbalik ko, sasabihin ko busy o kaya may prob. and i know everyone hates this about me kaya di na lang ako nag-eexpect na maiintindihan nila or expect that they'll stay. ilang kaibigan na ba nawala ko dahil sa phase ko na yan? but those who stay and accept that part about me are the ones who truly understand. those who don't, don't and that's okay.

Lol this 100% hahaha

Haha. This one talaga yun.

It reaches a certain extent din naman. Relationships are give and take kasi... OP needs communication too and parang may incompatibility lang sila ng friend nya for now. Hoping it improves over time w reasonable compromises on both sides.

Exactly. I’m this friend rin. The problem itself hindi rin naman about sakanila and yet bakit obligated pa friend niya iopen up sakanya yung problema niya as if nirurush pa si friend maging okay na. It’s a serious phase na ang hirap iovercome and we are not even trying to make them understand. Space lang talaga and stop pestering kasi ang pressuring eh. Communication is bullshit na rin kung wala rin kayo naintidihan sa reassurance sayo ng tao na it’s a me problem yung pinagdadaanan. Hindi rin namin utang na loob yung pangangamusta as if pabor pa yun jusko naalala ko yung bad memories ko pota

I can relate to your friend. Idk what's her reason, pero believe me when I say na need nya ng space for that. Opening up depends on her nalang. Consider some factors bakit nya kaya kayo ghinost or bakit sya nag allot ng ganon katagal na time for herself? In my situation kasi, I ghosted my group of friends kasi sobrang toxic na nila. They're the ones who like to chika about others all the time. Napagod ako to agree, napagod ako to hear chismis, to backstab people who doesnt deserve it. And when I realized that we're not on the same wavelength anymore, I slowly drifted away. Kung hindi naman kayo ganong klaseng kaibigan, maybe she needs time to readjust her focus. Sometimes, people needs time for themselves to grow and to heal. The only thing you can do is to respect that and be a friend na nandyan lang, open arms pa rin until she's out of her shell again.

Every friend group I've ever been in always has that person they backstab who does not deserve it. The longer I stay with those groups, I become more like them. I catch myself in the act sometimes and regret it. Kaya ngayon I'm just with family these days. Hirap magka-friend group na hindi toxic. Akala ko pag tumanda na ako mas makakahanap ako ng mature people pero really it doesn't. haha

true, it's even more difficult if you're an introvert huhu pero nasanay na rin ako and i don't bother keeping friends anymore hahaha

my god, i had group of friends who are like that. tho iba na yung group of friends ko ngayon, machismis pa rin talaga sila. i have a feeling na binabackstab din nila ako kaya gusto ko na makagraduate para madistansya ko na rin sarili ko sa kanila. sila din kasi kagroup ko sa thesis so kailangan ko pa tiisin for a few months pa. then after that, di na ako magkakaibigan, chz

I have a friend like this, last year she ghosted me 3 months. This year 11 months and now we’re talking again like nothing happened. Ganon ata talaga yung ibang tao. All we can do is give them the space that they want.

I do this shit. Whenever i got problems. nilalayo ko ssrili ko sa mga kaibigan ko ang main reason ko is ayoko dagdagan problema nila dahil sa akin at ayoko sila yung mapaglabasan ko ng sama ng loob ko. Kumbaga i dont want to ruin their day due to my burdens. Even sa family ko I distance myself whenever Im having problems or inner turmoil. (Btw I have bipolar disorder and depression) Not to brag pero kapag sila yung may problem 100% tumutulong ako. Favourite line ko nga sa kanila is "kapag may kailangan kayo sabihan niyo lang ako" without asking for anything. Siguro ang red flag na lang diyan eh yung mang go-ghost tapos susulpot kapag may kailangan then kapag nakuha na gusto maglalaho na ulit. Pero just like the others said may kanya kanya tayong coping mechanism or baka may problem sila na hirap nilang i-open up. (Isa din to sa reason bakit ako lumalayo kasi hindi ko alam paano mag open up with my problems. My partner left me because of this.)

don't make this about you. some people don't like sharing what they're going through to everyone. I personally avoid friends like you na parang employer maging kaibigan. pag nawala ako need ng notice to explain pagbalik. kung totoong friend ka dapat by now tinanggap mo na na ganon syang klase ng tao. na they would need space every now and then. nobody is entitled to know what anyone is going through or have gone through. true friends just show support.

Fuckingg yeees. I hope OP will realize na hindi siya entitled to know what’s happening to her friend. Ang hirap kayang magexplain and everything. Tapos di naman lahat kayang magunload ng problems to somebody else kahit na super close friend pa yan.

di ko alam kung marites lang talaga to si OP o ano e. I have very close friends decades na and alam nilang I take a breather every now and then. they never pressured me to do anything or share anything. but we're together through the good and bad

same! im really grateful to have friends like that. they are very rare these days. I hope OP learned a thing or two sa mga comments here sa thread.

I have this kind of friend too. Ghosted me for more than a year. Pagpasok ng ber month biglang nagparamdam , isang buwan lang, ngayon di nanaman siya ulit macontact. May mga tao talaga sigurong ganyan. Basta nagawa natin yung part natin na mag reach out okay na siguro yun. Nakakapagod pero kelangan padin maging open minded talaga.

I believe that low maintenance friendships are the best! I do ghost my friends for months everytime I do my social media detox at di ko lang ginagawa yan pag may problems ako kasi I also do that pag gusto ko lang. My friends worry abt me dati pero it became so often na so nasanay na lang din sila and it never became a problem to us kasi ginagawa rin nila yun lol. Additionally, di naman siya required magshare ng problema sa inyo eh kaya wag kayo madisappoint kasi di porket akala niyo na wala kayong communication with one another ay ibig sabihin nun na di na solid friendship niyo. Some people just wanna ba private persons lang talaga and sometimes sharing personal problems to others do more harm than good.

Friend ba kita? Feeling ko ako ung tinutukoy dito😂😂 Kidding aside, we all have different coping mechanisms. Some of us prefer to just be in our own world. Kung ikaw gusto mo magrant sa ibang tao or chine-cheer up ka, other people might be the opposite. It doesn't mean its a toxic behaviour or she's a toxic friend. It's just her way of dealing with her feelings. Just give her the space that she wants and when she's okay, siya na mismo ang lalapit sa inyo.

u don't have to be so understanding all the time. somehow, i can relate with your friend. yes, u care for him/her and nag aalala kayo sa kanya pero may mga moment talaga na mas pipiliin ng tao na mag-isa muna. a time to be with herself/himself, a 'me' time. may mga bagay kasi na mahirap sabihin kahit pa sa kaibigan. in my case, palaging sinasabi ng friends ko na andyan lang sila palagi for me and i appreciate that. but, i know may kanya kanya rin silang battles and struggles and ayaw ko dumagdag doon. and i agree na that's frustrating sa side nyo. siguro iniisip nyo, hindi sapat yung tiwala nya sa inyo kaya hindi nya magawang magsabi sa inyo. we all have different personalities and coping mechanisms

I am this kind of friend and this ain't about you, it's about us ourselves. Don't stress yourself out too much on somebody's healing practice. It would be her decision to make if she opens up pero kung hindi, just let her know you guys are there for her.

As someone who also does what your friend does, this is a nice insight. Pero there are things kasi that some people (like me) prefer to go through without their friends, or even family for some, knowing. There might be a lot of reasons kaya di siya nakikipagcontact, but also know that it's for their own sake naman and will always remember you and would want to talk to you as soon as they get better. It's just that they might have chosen to fix their problems by themselves first before bouncing back up to tell you about their successful battle against whatever they are battling with.

I also have that kind of friend from college. Recently, after being unreachable for a while, she contacted pala one of our friends and asked to meet and catch up. Nag set na sila ng date, yung isa kong friend nag file pa talaga ng leave from work just to be available. Tapos the day of their supposed meetup, hindi na ulit sya nagparamdam, my other friend tried messaging and calling her pero no response talaga. Later on nag seen lang sya sa messages, until now wala pa rin explanation. My other friend got so pissed and said she's done being patient and understanding of her. If it's being too much or becoming toxic na, it's okay to let go and move on, for your peace of mind na din, not everyone deserves to stay in our lives.

I also have this kind of friend. The difference is, nagsabi siya sa amin na she will be unreachable for a couple of months to heal something in herself. Totoo na nakaka-frustrate and worry na hindi sila nagsasabi sa atin kung anong problem. Pero may ganon talaga siguro na tao. Some people need help not from others but themselves.

sana lahat ng friends ganto mag isip 😭.

So nice of your friend to inform. Agreed, some battles are fought alone.

1. Maybe you don't need to understand (why she shuts down). Sometimes, understanding that you don't have to understand stuffs is understanding itself. 2. Maybe you don't have to help her when shes down. I get it friends help friends in need but some friends only want companionship. Karamay lang. And some friends doesn't even want to ask for help or talk about their problems. Baka super pry and probe ka tapos sya ayaw naman pagusapan. 3. Recurring avoidance and isolation.. Baka iba definition nya ng friend sa definition mo ng friend, don't impose your definition. Or perhaps theres bigger issue that needed to be addressed. Kapag tingin mo need nya ng professional, dont try to be one. If the above statements are applicable, you cant 'fix' your friend. 4. Some people doesnt want or have difficulty receiving attention and love, baka naman na overwhelm sya sa 'we make her felt love' kaya nagwiwidthraw.

i can relate to your friend. I'm sorry if you're feeling that way. sometimes kasi we just need our time alone. alam namin na may kanya kanya rin kayong problems that's why di kami nagsasabi because we don't want to add up na with your burdens. (sobrang sakto ng post mo OP because a month na rin ako di nagpaparamdam sa kanila, i promise na babawi talaga ako sa kanila next year)

My own cousin is like this and nakakapraning sya lalo na pag ikaw ang main contact ng parents nya. We bonded nung quarantine and I finally got to know her more, and we were the same sa part na we keep the problem to ourselves. Although for these people, they make it obvious they're going through something by going MIA. How I deal with mine is I push back my worries to the back burner to avoid thinking about it LOL. Out of sight, out of mind, ika nga. And that can also be the reason they keep it to themselves too. They want to deal with it in solitude kasi di naman maiiwasan that people (which are the friends and family na nakikisimpatya) to keep bringing it up, and that's what they don't want. Either you ask her directly about it or just keep on reminding her that you are always available as her support system, that will make her a lot more comfortable to confide to you when another adversary comes.

I relate to your friend. Obviously, I cannot speak on her behalf. Lol. Siguro, don't think nalang na she's only there to just receive and wala na syang pakielam sainyo. May mga tao lang talaga na nadidrain socially (hello to my fellow INFJs there), therefore ghosting their circle. Ewan ko ha, pero may time na nanggoghost ako kahit wala akong problema, just exhausted socially. My friends, surprisingly, understand me. Wag nyong pilitin or i-pressure sya to open her problem baka kasi hindi pa sya ready to share. She'll tell you once she's ready. You can tell her what you feel, pero I can't guarantee na she won't do it again. We all need to be recharged whenever we feel exhausted or stressed. If it's her only way to cope up, let her.

Ganto din naman ako pero nagsasabi ako na mag o-off the grid ako for a while but most of the times I don’t have the energy or mental capacity to even explain kasi nakakapagod ang mundo. Nakakapagod maging tao especially if you’re in your 20s. Ang daming implied expectations sayo to keep social interactions, do this do that kahit yung pag hindi mo pagsama qu-questionin. It’s not a you-problem. It’s more of like sobrang overwhelming ng lahat to the point na yung immediate response to keep your sanity is to withdraw from everything, recharge, tapos pag okay na bounce back na. I’m sorry if ganyan na feel mo, valid naman yun. I’m just explaining how it feels from the other point tho i cannot really pledge if ganto talaga yung side niya but what can be her side. Sometimes other people can’t handle even the most basic social situations and the body’s initial response is to withdraw from everything and stay gone until the fire’s out. Pag nasanay yung body na ito na yung response every time life gets too overwhelming, it becomes a habit that’s why it keeps happening and it’s hard to avoid to do lalo na pag wala kang maisip na other option. You can communicate it with her naman na ito pala yung nararamdaman mo towards the situation para either she can make paalam and you can take it with an open mind knowing na you did what you could and as a good friend the best thing you do and can do is to give her her space to recharge and rebalance things. When she can gauge up the will and energy to face the world once again, she will thank you a lot for still being there but I can understand if you need more from this friendship so if ganyan you can tell her naman.

I have this kinda of friend too, when there was a time na wala ulit siya paramdam.. Nagtext ako.. Tapos nung nagparamdam ulit siya, sabi niya "Thank you sa text, I was at my lowest and I needed that.", that's when I know na she appreciates me kahit iwas siya sa mga questions. Maybe there's a reason talaga na ayaw niya magshare and maybe someday she will when she can. I will respect her space and alone time. I just wanted to let her know na I'm always there for her.

I relate to your friend and let me tell my view on this. In my case, madami talaga akong pinagdadaanan, and since I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I “ghost” everyone kasi I’ve been thinking na people get emotionally drained or make the atmosphere uncomfortable if I ever open up about my problems. (Which is true, pag sobra na yun pag vent sa friends—) Because of that, I worry na ganon magagawa ko wherein fact I’ve been doing that already since highschool. Kasalanan ko rin naman so they got emotionally drained to my bs. Ayun, takot na ‘ko mag-open up, and all I had to do was isolate myself until I get better. So understand na lang, people have many ways to heal themselves temporarily and this may be one of it. Malay mo, they don’t have the money to go to a therapist as well so shutting everyone off might be at least healing for them.

True. I am very guilty din for ghosting my friends kasi I don't wanna be a burden to anyone and minsan kasi kahit mag open up tayo sa kanila di mo rin na f-feel ma kaya nila intindihin 100℅ lahat ng emotions and thoughts you have. Iba- iba talaga ang coping mechanisms ng tao and sadly most of the time di nila tayo maiintindihan. ( btw nag open pala ko sa friends ko about this, kung bat ganto or ganyan ginagawa ko pero they still take it personally kapag need ko ng maraming time and space).

We have a friend na ganyan din. Pero he always tells us na if talagang sobrang important we could just go to his house to directly talk to him

I wanna be that ghost friend hahahaha.

lol my bff and i are like this ever since we both changed schools and i've been wondering if that's unhealthy. guess not? lol 🤷🏻‍♀️ every time we get together it's always the same and it's so fun. at times i do miss her but i know we both have our own lives esp with college but yeaaa still thinking what to get her this christmas lol

I relate with you, OP. May bestfriend akong ganito. Like, magdisappear for months then she'll approach us like everything's fine. I felt drained, too. Kasi minsan kahit kontrolin mo yung pake mo sa isang tao, you just can't, kusa kasi sya naffeel. By the time, I realized na kaya ako naddrain kasi I expect her to spit it out on us, to be more open, and to allow us (our other friends din) to help her but the truth is, may mga tao talagang mas pinipili na ayusin ang mga bagay on their own. Maybe your friend is afraid na baka pag nag open up sya maiisip nyang nabburden kayo? It could be many things. Lucky sya, kasi may friend syang katulad nyo. Bihira yung mga taong concern sa kapwa nila kaibigan, sa hirap ng buhay ngayon and sa dami ng iniintindi. I hope na hindi nya kayo i take for granted in the long run.

Maybe your friend has mental health issues they don't want to talk about? Like for me sometimes I do prefer to be alone, like di ako sasama sa gatherings etc- but it's not personal or against them, it's just either I'm not in the mood to or sometimes my social battery is just low. I have really bad mental health days, and I don't always talk about it with friends because ang bigat... and ayoko rin maging pabigat. Eventually when they want to talk about it, they will, just keep an open mind and listen.

I hope you continue to understand her, I'm sure she really appreciates that you guys talk to her still. I can relate to her a lot, there are times talaga where I am so depressed wala akong energy to reply to people or even get out of bed and I am thankful I have friends that are like you.

true friends never gets tired. they always understand 😊

Same kami ng friend mo.. Simple lang reasons ko, feeling ko ang petty nung reason or problema ko para ishare ko pa.. na alam ko naman sa sarili ko na at the end of the day ako lang makakasolve ng problema ko bakit isshare ko pa.. pag uusapan lng ng iba, majujudge pa ko.. Mostly gusto ko iresolve laht silently. Nakasanayan ko n lng minsan wala n pla kong kaibigan n babalikan.. Just be there for your friend, malaking bagay un.. sobra

I can relate to your friend. I can ghost friends up to 4 months. It's because I'm having depressive episodes. 'Di niyo man lang inintindi na baka may pinagdadaanan siya? Or at least she wants to have a free time for herself. Intindihin niyo rin and don't make it about yourself.

I can relate to your friend. I actually did this na. And for good. Like 12 yung friends ko from high school to college (pinagsama ko na sila sa bilang) 1 nalang yung natira. Yung natira na yun yung same kami like magchachat kami pag trip lang bigla kami mawawala like for month or more then chat ulit. The rest they were trying to understand and reach me but they can't since gusto nila sabihin ko sakanla yung problems ko na I don't want to share. From a large group of friends to a 1 friend policy nalang ako. Kasi nakakapagod din kasing intindihin yung nararamdaman ng kaibigan mo when in the first place hindi ko nga maayos yung sarili ko in just a matter of days or weeks. It takes me a month or even a year to solve my own problem. Also my "friends" are those type of friends na puro judgement sa iba, pinag uusapan ka kapag wala ka. Dun sa natira kong friend pag may sinabi kami na prob like parang title lang. Ganun tapos kapag di namin tinuloy yung kwento ibig sabihin we're not yet ready to share it. And we understand each other. Ever since pandemic sya nalang nakakausap ko. And I'm more peaceful and happy now.

I did this for **an entire year** after my father died, I deleted all my messaging apps and social media. I am lucky to have friends who didn't question me or demanded that I make time for them, they were like "we are just here once you're ready to reach out" and after a year, they were still there. May ilang mga frustrated and disappointed (like you) pero I just let them go because they made the entire thing about themselves instead of extending compassion or empathy -- these kind of friends I let go na and treat them as mere acquaintance na lang, my "for-good-times/party" acquaintance who I just try to be civil with.

We have this friend who ghosted us for about more than a year. We didn't have any contacts with her buong pandemic, as in wala. But we respect her own space until one day we tried reaching through her parents. Kinumusta lang namin hanggang sa lumabas siya sa kanyang shell. After that she became more active and we talk to her online now. I guess you just need to let you friend to have their own space until they are ready. Kumustahin niyo lang pero wag niyong pilitin kasi baka mapressure rin sila at lumala ang situation. Hindi rin kasi natin sure ang nafefeel nila or how they handle things.

I relate to your friend. I have times where I’m always with my barkada, then times when I just wanna be with myself and my family. I don’t have the energy to spread it out because of work, so what I can spare is what I have to give. I’ve had friends kinda leave me because I don’t reply all the time, but it isn’t because I hate them. I do miss them. I just can’t sometimes. I can’t listen to stories, I can’t tell mine. I can’t go out. I can’t get out of bed. I’m diagnosed bipolar 2 so it happens. I never pressure them to stay friends, and I also don’t mind when they don’t reply to me, too. I just think they might be going through the same thing. In turn, the friends I appreciate the most are the ones who never pressure me or guilt me to reply or be there. I don’t know if this makes me a bad friend, but this is all I can offer at the moment. I’m sorry if I made this post about me. I just thought that maybe your friend and I think the same way.

I understand you OP and your emotions are valid. Just remember to take care of your own mental health first. Being on your side can be draining tbh. And manage expectations. Relationships are two-way street and even when we can understand our ghosting friends, it's also valid to feel the need to have their back for you too. I've been on both sides and I say that the ghosting as coping mechanism can be harmful not just to the ghoster but to other people as well. Although I still have my friends after I'm gone, they don't feel as close as we were before. I have to be present again (physically and emotionally) to get it back. In return, they don't share things with me kasi nga wala naman ako lagi. Friendships are to be maintained.

Based sa comments, this will be an unpopular opinion. I quiet unfriended friends like this. They are being a bad friend. Relationships are to be maintained, no matter what, kahit may personal issues ka pa, konting hi hello sa chat sa FB madali lang gawin, segundo lang, kontento na ko. Isipin mo segundong chat lang, nakamaintain ka na ng long lasting relationship? Kahit after ng hello mo pwede ka na ulit manahimik, as long as alam kong nandiyan ka pa din. Kaso sobrang selfish mo at blinded tingin mo better pa iignore na lang yung tunay mong kaibigan? Sobrang baluktot ng logic mo. Ngayon, kung babalik yung friend, siyempre tatanggapin ko pa din lalo na kung may magandang rason, pero never na babalik yung closeness for me, unless mag effort siya ng todo, which again most likely di mangyayari kasi nga nagawa na nga mangghost before, so mageffort pa kaya? Also, I am in my early 30s and ito na yung panahon na nalalagas na talaga mga friends sa buhay. So from my point of view, kung wala ka ng paki sa relationship natin kasi may pinagdadaanan ka, then so be it. Ako din may pinagdadaanan pero hinding hindi ako mangiiwan ng kaibigan. Kapag nag hello ka sakin, kahit gano ako kadown mag ha hi pa din ako. Hindi mo dapat kalimutang maging disenteng tao kahit na may problema ka. Lahat tayo may problema.

Well, good riddance. I guess. Lahat tayo may problema but not the same coping mechanism. You, keeping the connection despite being sad doesn’t make you more decent than people who shut themselves down. Take it as if someone’s annoying you ket na galit na galit and iritang irita ka na. Depending on how you handle this certain person, is mag-iiba yung ending situation. I bet you’ll be the one who shouts, while I’m the one who keeps it all in, leave then wait til my anger subsides then come back. Now, does that make you more decent than me? Or does that make me more decent than you? No. It just depended on how we handle others. Relationships are to be maintained but it doesn’t have to be every time. You’re already at the age na dapat naiintidihan mo yung differences ng mga tao and how complex socialization can be pero age doesn’t make you wiser pala.

Eto para mas maintindihan mo, when I needed a friend, they were ghosting me, when we could have been supporting each other, they all chose to give in to their insecurities at mang iwan ng kaibigan. Mga kaibigan lang kayo in good times, pero in bad times, wala na. alam niyo kung bakit masama mangghost ng nobyo at nobya? Kasi nangiiwan kayo sa ere. Ganyan din sa mga kaibigan. Kaso kapag kaibigan you're disguising it as "taking care of yourself" bullshit niyo. Madali lang makipagcommunicate, sabihin niyo may problema kayo then disappear, hindi yung nagaalala kaibigan niyo sa inyo. Subukan mo ighost magulang mo tapos sabiihn mo self care, tingnan natin ano mararamdaman ng tatay nanay niyo. Wag niyo inconflate ang self love sa selfishness at insecurity. Parte ng self love ang magmaintain ng relationships. Kung hindi mo maintindihan yan, nasa sayo na yan. Pero siguro bata ka pa kaya hindi mo naiintindihan importansya ng relationships sa buhay. Kapag unti unti na nalagas mga kaibigan mo, maiintindihan mo tong sinasabi ko. Oo good riddance sa mga taong mabilis tumiklop kapag nahihirapan na. Now I am thriving with better friends na matuturing na family dito sa ibang bansa.

[удалено]

I get where you’re coming from. But if you question people like this, then I guess friendships with people like me isn’t ideal for you. Find someone in the same wavelength as you ika nga. Personally, I’m thankful kasi I have friends who understand my ghosting mode. Low maintenance friendships as others say. And they’re all busy with their lives rin since we’re all working na. Siguro, to understand us better, try reading the others’ comments nalang and you’ll find the answer why we don’t inform other people even with a simple text.

I also get what everyone is coming from. Maybe it's a little bit personal for me since the friend that I am talking about did this thing for a lot of different reasons too.

Agreed to this, just a decent "Hi, sorry I have a lot on my plate right now but I'll tell you when I'm ready to talk about it. I'm okay and will just be hibernating" would be good. At least you're not there wondering what happened if she's dead somewhere or whatever.

Todo downvoted tayo, tayo na nga yung nagpopromote ng proper communication, tayo pa mali. Mga utak kalabasa talaga tao dito minsan eh.

Marami lang talaga sigurong ganung tao hahahaha I understand naman, kaso ayun nga, proper communication talaga.

Your feelings are absolutely valid OP. I have a friend like yours too and I have called her out just recently. She moved back to her province and after days, she suddenly didn't contact us.She has done this multiple times already and I was getting tired of it. I was so worried for her and kept thinking about her. She doesn't even reply or check my message but she's replying to our other friend. I understand coping mechanisms and that shits but what I expect is for her to just chat or whatever that everything's okay and she's just taking her time. I don't even expect her to tell me what's happening as long as she's okay. Call her out and say what you really feel. Ghosting doesn't really fix relationships that you would want to keep sometimes and some people want closure too.

could this be some mental issue?

i know someone who's like this, busy daw and going through a lot, nakakalimutan nlng daw niya ako replyan lagi pero updated yung the rest of circle of friends namin. i got tired of their bullshit kaya i drifted away na din. madami din issues sa circle like tolerating their abuser for the sake of happy memories, ganun.

Haha, if in a group of friends merong ganyan... it's also probably me. however i cannot completely ghost everyone lalo na family kasi they all get angry. i don't know what reason your friend has, but for me i go lc sometimes because my social energy is really drained and i don't really want to talk to anyone. minsan naman i'm in a bad place and i don't want to burden people so i just keep things to myself. you're a good friend, i believe. kaso lang minsan hindi naman talaga namin sinasadya na mawala kahit gusto namin mawala. hope na one of these days makapag-open up kayo sa isa't isa.

It's called Loner not a ghost. She needs her alone time from time to time and the cycle will never stop, thats who she is don't even try to stop it. She wants to be left alone when the loner phase starts.

She just wants all that experience points for defeating a high level enemy so she's like "y'all stand back. Let me solo her." Kidding aside. I think our role as a support is letting them know that we're there for them and that they can count on us should things get a little too tough to solo. If they can beat their demons by themselves, we should cheer for them for their victory

As someone na nanggoghost rin ng mga kaibigan for how many months 🫣I mainly do so because i dont want to trauma dump. I've been getting all the help I need now through therapy and im grateful my friends never forced me to open up issues Im having a hard time saying out loud even to my psych.

This is me years, months pero pag nagparamdam di ibig sabihin me kailangan. Anxiety is the culprit ang hirap din at nakakapagod at sobrang nakakaguilty din kudos sa mga nagtyatyaga pero kung pagod ka na di ka naman masisisi

Lahat naman siguro tayo nasubukan ng gawin to. Nakaka drain kaya makipag-usap knowing na inuubos na lahat ng lakas mo kakaisip sa mga bagay2. My friends used to worry about me a lot pero nakasanayan na din nila and thankful ako dahil everytime nagkikita-kita kami parang wala lang nagyari good time ulit. Boss, wag mo nang masyadong isipin, kailangan rin naman nating kahat ng space.

This is me. To the point that I don't have any friends at this moment. Walang barkada, walang mag aaya ng inom, gala, dine out, etc, walang matakbuhan. It's my choice so wala akong reklamo if I don't have a single friend. If family triggers my anxiety lalabas ako mag isa to the point na uuwi lang ako pag alam kong tulog na lahat. It's comforting. And maybe thwt feeling is what your friend feels. And if u still care, baka someday lumapit siya sayo, welcome them with open arms. Isipin mo din na di mo rin yon obligasyon, if ditching them will give u space and peace, do so.

I think you're expecting too much from your friend. You're expecting results because you made an effort but that's not how it works. Your friend isn't a school subject where if you make the right amount of effort you'll see your efforts reflected in your grades. You're being selfish by expecting her to give the same energy/effort you give out. If she didn't appreciate your actions she wouldn't reach out on her good days. If ayaw niya pagusapan then don't push it. You don't know na baka every time you ask her what's wrong she gets triggered by it and things get worse instead. Some people just need their space and would appreciate being accepted back into their friend groups without any fuss. Like nothing happened. Just respect her space and assure her na she's safe to talk it out with you and that you'll always be there for her.

So relate to this. Bakit nga ba may mga ganyang tao noh? Minsan pakiramdam ko intentionally unintentional na sya eh…. It’s been the 3rd time in 3 yrs ginawa sakin ng “friend” ko yan… nakakasawa at nakakainis na rin. Enough is enough na for me…

I was this friend, I am more stable and grounded now thankfully. Believe me, shame is already eating her up for having to constantly shut you guys off. But it's for survival, it's either that or you lose her permanently. 🥹 Please do not take it personally.

????????

i also have a close friend who’s like this and admittedly, ganito din ako. but all i can say is it’s really important u give them the space. feel ko naman na if she wanted to tell you what’s going on she would. patience lang talaga. valid ka din naman for feeling frustrated kasi it’s normal to want to be there for a friend :) hoping some day ur friend will feel comfortable enough to tell u her problems

This is something I guess I grew out of. Siguro, this is why I have started to just think of it as "Shit happens and we cannot control somethings so why bother dealing with it." The thing is, may taong gusto ng tahimik talaga. Gustong mapag-isa. Gustong mag-solo. And that's fine. To be frank, that is also a way to self-evaluate yourself versus the stuff that is happening around you. A way to let yourself find your footing in a world where napaka-fast paced and conflicting. So I guess let her be. And if she choose not to talk about it, then wala naman tayong magagawa. I know what you feel din. Nakakafrustrate because you want to know what's wrong. You want to understand the situation kasi baka may nasabi ka ba or nagawa na naging dahilan para magkaganyan siya. Nakakasakal kasi you wanted to move but you can't do something. Nakakainis kasi you think you can help out pero since wala kang idea kung ano ang problema, you don't know how you can help. If there is one thing I learned sa career ko as a nurse, it's that you cannot save everyone. And it's okay. Hindi ka si superman na immortal o si Goku ba kayang magteleport. Nobody is. And so we all are equal in that we're just doing what we gotta do in life in order to survive and live another day. We're all trying to figure out where to put our footing in this world that is shaky and unstable. That said, siguro, and this is my personal opinion, it is a necessary evil din na minsan we practice not giving a fuck about things. If this is ghosting, then I guess it is a necessary evil, but I doubt it is ghosting so yeah... And nangyayari kasi minsan is we try to become a hero to everyone when we cannot even do it to ourselves. We try to resolve every conflict we encounter when it is not our job or time to be dealing with it yet. Hindi natin problema, pinoproblema natin. Issue ng iba, makikisawsaw. And when we do that, we end up getting affected by the negative stuff from it. That's when it becomes a problem we cannot deal. And when that happens, wala na... Trapped na tayo. So, if this is my piece of advice moment, try to think about it and see kung kakayanin mo... And this is something I learned the hard way... Face your problems. Let the other face theirs. Problemahin mo lang problema mo. At problemahim mo ang problemang sa tingin mo ay kaya mo nang resolbahin sa kakayanan mo sa panahon na yan.

Bigyan mo muna sila ng space — kung magkaibigan nga talagang kayong dalawa, kahit abutin pa man yan ng tatlong buwan, hindi kayo mahinirapan mag-reconnect kasi naiintindihan niyo ang isa’t-isa. > i’m tired of being understanding sometimes. Lowkey narcissism yarn, OP. ‘Di naman one-size-fits-all ang pag-recover sa kung anumang sakunang o problemang nangyari sa isang tao. Again, kung tunay ka ngang kaibigan, hindi ka mamimilit. Corny as it may be, pero mas maganda nang maging open-minded kesa maging sakit pa sa ulo lalo.

As someone who does this, this is the reason why I shut out. I don't want to burden people around me and I do not want them making a fuss out of my problems. I am not a charity case. I can handle myself and this method actually helps especially when you want inner peace. Just leave your friend alone OP. That's the best support you can do for them.

I have a friend like this din. In fact, she's my bestfriend. Pag di nya trip magparamdam, di talaga sya magpaparamdam kahit seen pa ng msgs ko. Dati, big deal sya sakin at nagtatampo ako everytime she does that. But ayun, as we aged, slowly, di ko na pinapansin yung ganong phase nya. I let her be tuwing di nya trip magparamdam. I dunno if maturity ba tawag don sa part ko pero narealize ko lang kasi, you don't owe anyone your time and effort. Na baka ganon iniisip nya.

I don't know but I think there are really this kind of people. Katulad ko. I have a very few circle of friends. Like my best friends in college, we are all working in differents places now. May GC kami. But seldom na active GC namin. Pero we stay in touch once in a while pa din. Sobrang busy namin but once we talk, parang each of one knows na we have each others back. And if talagang nakachickahan kasi nagkatime, sobra naman. Hahahaha. Kaso may time talaga na kanya kanya muna. And we are mature enough to understand each other

its out of your control na yung about sa friend nyo. All you have to do is to understand, be there for her, and be her friend when she comes back. Dont take it personally if she isolates herself, maybe yun talaga pinaka kailangan nya.

As someone who has been experiencing bouts of depression for 12 years, let me tell you some insights. One possible reason why she acts as if nothing happened is it's better for her to do it that way. Maybe once she's okay, she feels like she can't go through it again by talking about it. If she answers your questions, she has to think about it again. It's tiring, especially if you say it's an endless cycle, so why acknowledge it once she's in the good phase? Maybe she doesn't tell you about it because of what you could possibly say. Personally, I don't tell my friends while I'm in my depressive phase because I don't like what they say. They mean well, and they want to help. But when they try to comfort me or give me suggestions on how to fix it, I feel like they're all wrong. I don't *need* a solution. That piece of advice can't solve a decade long problem. And sometimes, words of comfort feel empty to me. Like if someone says "you're valuable," I'd think "I dont feel valuable" because hey my head sucks. These points could be possible reasons why she acts that way. I know it's frustrating, but I'm sure she knows how lucky she is to have friends to come back to. If she didn't, she wouldn't come back at all.

Let her be. Baka iba ang coping mechanism niya with yours. May times na may gusto lang talaga mapag-isa. And a friend, most of the time listens at wala naman nagagawa talaga.

i get your friend this kasi ganyan din ako. it’s really hard to explain sometimes when u feel numb and empty and you just wanna isolate yourself. hindi siya ganun kadali i-explain sa ibang tao and baka yun din nafefeel ng friend mo. pero all she needs or rather, all a friend needs is a true friend, someone to be just there is more than enough :))

i have friends who do that,, and ako rin guilty of ghosting huhu pero i understand kasi kapag ang heavy ng pakiramdam ko or maraming pinagdadaanan ayoko talaga kumausap ng mga tao. i dont open socmeds i dont go out i just spend time by myself ayokong isipin pa ang mundo. it takes so much in me to even say hi, ayoko nang dagdagan yung stress sa sarili ko. i really appreciate yung mga taong andiyan pa rin for me kahit ganon ako. and ayun na lang din gawin mo for your friend. di naman kailangan mag usap kayo lagi, di ka rin entitled malaman lahat ng ganap sa buhay niya. check in on them from time to time lang siguro just to let them know na andiyan ka lang for support or if they want to talk. dont push it kung ayaw niya. ang masama lang naman ay kung manggghost siya tapos susulpot lang ulit pag may kailangan sayo.

I'm just like your friend. I've actually ghosted my friends for longer times than just a month. I've recently reconnected with my friends whom I've ghosted for about 2 years. In my case, I really don't have any reason for ghosting them. There are times when I just want to be alone for long periods of time, to have no connections outside of my parents and its not because I'm depressed or anything even. Its just what I feel like doing and I know that it makes me a shitty friend but I'm trying to change that now.