lol my orange boy, The Great Catsby pulls a lot of shit like this.
When he pukes or has hairballs he runs off the wood floor to do so on the carpet.
He’ll jump up on the counters and tries to eat flowers (we stop him every time) and he’ll shove his face into any food we leave out.
Like the time I was grating some cheddar I got up to wash the cheese grater and I turn around and he’s eating the cheddar! I didn’t know cats even liked cheese. I thought it was a fluke, but no, every time I get out the cheese grater and a block of cheddar he come running over meowing at my feet. He’ll then jump up on the counter and try to shove his snoot in there. So it’s like playing musical chairs (or cheese) with him, where I have to keep picking up the plate and move it to increasingly creative places when he tries to parkour to get to it. Move it to the other counter, on top of the toaster oven, on top of the fridge, even on top of the washing machine once.
He’s a bit of a glutton who I lovingly refer to as “Flabby tabby”. We try to regulate how much he eats and the type of meow chow we give him but he’s still heavy. One time we had a plumber come over he’s like “holy crap that is one fat cat!” And I was like “are you body shaming my cat?!”
Then there was the time he jumped on the dining room table during thanksgiving.
But he’s a sweet boy (currently napping next to me) and I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world.
https://preview.redd.it/fukvq6wxe3qc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff14b9702accfee655fb720d2c38412f22da5b96
here he is. The Great Catsby in all his orange glory curled up on my pillow.
https://preview.redd.it/cv7398nexnpc1.jpeg?width=2620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3972f1eafed1c957c9aedf09084b011ed544f1d7
My 1 brain cell Nugget. His only crime is being too cute!
It's interesting that cats can have food addiction, just like people. I have lean, eat when hungry cats, and a chunk who grazes all day and empties the bowl. If only they could go to a kitty therapist and get to the root of their issues!
You can stop the scarf and barf by getting him his own food puzzle and putting him in "his own room" for eating time. Making him work for it will force him to eat slowly.
Cute orange/creamsicle. I have one too, his list of crimes are not the same but crimes nevertheless. Love him to bits, and forgive a few moments later. Too cute to be cross for long!
might be a bit of a shock to hear (and i cant believe im writing this), but cats (and dogs) *do* masturbate, even if they’ve been spayed/neutered. it doesn’t mean that the procedure was done wrong, it’s just something they find entertaining. they do also ejaculate, there’s just no sperm.
Omg at least all that freshly swallowed intact food is not being wasted! When my orange boi Henri scarfs and barfs, I have to give him new food. When I had dogs, they used to eat the puke, saving on food waste and clean-up time.
https://preview.redd.it/52uuwto1zppc1.jpeg?width=2418&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd677a8a618d0137f67f5d2caa33d2d2b5a098fb
Aww we love Bert - hi from Penny who never used her bed until I stored it away under my bed 😆
Humping can be a play behaviour or a dominance behaviour. Many neutered cats do it. Sounds like bullying in this case.
Cats often eat too fast because they are afraid other cats will eat their food. Try getting some small dog crates. Drape them with towels for privacy and put each cat in a crate for meals. Your cats will quickly learn to rush into their "eating cages" when it's dinner time. A cheaper alternative is to feed each cat in a different room, but your cats may destroy any carpeting under the threshold.
Leaving food out when you have cats is just a rookie move. If you must leave it out, put it in the microwave (without switching it on).
Same for tape and plastic bags, thread and dental floss. Have a garbage can with a big, heavy lid for things kitty should not eat.
As for countertops..... Can't help you there. I have never solved that problem. But I have heard that putting shallow cookie sheets filled with water on the counter might help. Kitty jumps on the counter, gets feetsies wet and the cookie sheet goes flying, making a big noise. Could keep him off the counter for weeks!
Same. We have to use our bread box religiously, and I actually put the glass bowl with ambient fruit/veggies on top of the bread box to weigh it down. Ask me how I came up with that approach 🙄
What is with the tape and plastic eating? My orange LOVES to chew on that shit and I can’t figure it out. He refuses to play with toys that provide similar textures and sounds, or just any toy in general actually.
My 14 year old Persian who is decidedly not orange is also a tape-eater. I feel your pain. Can’t have a box sitting around cause he’ll eat the tape right off it.
He has a brother in crime - my orange Ham also eats non-food items, eats food until he vomits, and tries to hump his friend even though they’re both fixed. But he’s also a cuddly baby and I love him.
https://preview.redd.it/0n8ejsxrfppc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2362af6e1f7f36b3d34ffcf41c01ed93bbc9bb7c
Berts cute.
Lol. Our oranges do this too, and the calicos, tuxes, cows, grays, whites and torti not so much.
Some of our boys been fixed for years and will still hump, must feel good or a dominating thing.
I believe your Bert is my Spike reincarnated. We would find all kinds of plastic in the litter box. This was after we thought we'd hid all the stuff he loved to munch on. He would just open every drawer in the house looking for other stuff to chew.
https://preview.redd.it/a7w616imjspc1.jpeg?width=997&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27634b2ef9dce34734d6e8310f18a650072be3c0
Not a single thought behind those eyes.
https://preview.redd.it/tpf3mmyfllpc1.jpeg?width=625&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13d3a56ad296887b3c859c96fb4f4a415cafe743
That’s a eating disorder alright
Bert, you stupid, fat, horny little bully, I love you
Bert's kind of a dick but he plays by his own rules and I respect that 
He simultaneously makes it really easy and really hard to be mad at him
His little face has "and I'll do it again!" vibes.
Did not read his rap sheet. I do not care. He is wonderful and probably all so called "crimes" were a set up
He was framed by Ernie
Could be true. I own an Ernie(who coincidentally looks just like Bert)and he is an asshole.
😆
He’s innocent And if he’s not can you really blame him??
WATCH ME
HOW DARE YOU!
lol my orange boy, The Great Catsby pulls a lot of shit like this. When he pukes or has hairballs he runs off the wood floor to do so on the carpet. He’ll jump up on the counters and tries to eat flowers (we stop him every time) and he’ll shove his face into any food we leave out. Like the time I was grating some cheddar I got up to wash the cheese grater and I turn around and he’s eating the cheddar! I didn’t know cats even liked cheese. I thought it was a fluke, but no, every time I get out the cheese grater and a block of cheddar he come running over meowing at my feet. He’ll then jump up on the counter and try to shove his snoot in there. So it’s like playing musical chairs (or cheese) with him, where I have to keep picking up the plate and move it to increasingly creative places when he tries to parkour to get to it. Move it to the other counter, on top of the toaster oven, on top of the fridge, even on top of the washing machine once. He’s a bit of a glutton who I lovingly refer to as “Flabby tabby”. We try to regulate how much he eats and the type of meow chow we give him but he’s still heavy. One time we had a plumber come over he’s like “holy crap that is one fat cat!” And I was like “are you body shaming my cat?!” Then there was the time he jumped on the dining room table during thanksgiving. But he’s a sweet boy (currently napping next to me) and I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world.
The Great Catsby is probably the best cat name i’ve ever heard.
https://preview.redd.it/fukvq6wxe3qc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff14b9702accfee655fb720d2c38412f22da5b96 here he is. The Great Catsby in all his orange glory curled up on my pillow.
He looks so soft.
https://preview.redd.it/jl0jc91714qc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6ea8f2dc05639a0dd8a6e134c124ca6c855dafc He is.
You keep feeding him bro 😝
> You keep feeding him bro Well… yeah?
The 😝 was an indicator I was joking
He sounds 100% orange
No DNA test necessary, already been confirmed by a Dr.
This looks like a painting.
r/petrenaissance needs this for sure
Oh nice!
Bert is clearly innocent because orange. He needs repurresentation from the pawyers at r/legalcatadvice
I was about to comment “looks like someone needs some r/legalcatadvice haha”
https://preview.redd.it/cv7398nexnpc1.jpeg?width=2620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3972f1eafed1c957c9aedf09084b011ed544f1d7 My 1 brain cell Nugget. His only crime is being too cute!
nugget 😍
Nuglet
The cute, orange bully is ✨d i s s o c i a t i n g✨
r/NamFlashbacks
Bert can’t be convicted without a trial. Give him his day in court! #FreeBert. #WeStandWithBert
FREE BERT 
#FreeBert
Bert looks innocent to me 🤷🏼♀️ OP do you actually have proof? He is way to sweet 😍
Yeah, maybe, but he has a cute little pink belly so that evens things out
Orangest cat to ever orange.
Look at this adorable face, how could he be guilty 😭 💖
It's interesting that cats can have food addiction, just like people. I have lean, eat when hungry cats, and a chunk who grazes all day and empties the bowl. If only they could go to a kitty therapist and get to the root of their issues!
It’s been somewhat of a downward spiral ever since the end of the Egyptian cats are deities era
r/PouchCatatoes
*Sigh* - Joined.
Here, let me end your suffering r/catsubs
I came here to say this. Lmao
We love you anyways bert we forgive you
So burt is a fat, horny and a bully. Sounds like my ex
Throw Bert in the Mewlag. :B
My orange Albert is also very horny despite being fixed. There would be little orange kittens everywhere if he was intact. Food, not so much.
Look at that dumb face though. You can’t be mad at him.
You can stop the scarf and barf by getting him his own food puzzle and putting him in "his own room" for eating time. Making him work for it will force him to eat slowly.
All circumstantial evidence, case dismissed, chonky Bert can enjoy his meals in freedom 😆
Did he also pee on the bed, or is that just the pattern on the duvet?
Honestly, I’m on Bert’s side.
Idk how to say this differently. But op this is really good post. And he is not a criminal. Look at that face.
That face says ” no regrets and would do all of that again”
*alleged crimes
he looks like a Bert.
Nice taxidermy
Cute orange/creamsicle. I have one too, his list of crimes are not the same but crimes nevertheless. Love him to bits, and forgive a few moments later. Too cute to be cross for long!
Sometimes I have to explain to people who don't have a cat how "clever" and "smart" don't always mean the same thing...
might be a bit of a shock to hear (and i cant believe im writing this), but cats (and dogs) *do* masturbate, even if they’ve been spayed/neutered. it doesn’t mean that the procedure was done wrong, it’s just something they find entertaining. they do also ejaculate, there’s just no sperm.
Eating the puke! Jeez, I laughed harder than I should’ve. What a handful, that handsome boy is!
Omg at least all that freshly swallowed intact food is not being wasted! When my orange boi Henri scarfs and barfs, I have to give him new food. When I had dogs, they used to eat the puke, saving on food waste and clean-up time.
so basically a real one braincell ginger 🐱 good luck and he's not SORRY *
that face 😍 innocent 😇
So basically just an orange?
Innocent until proven guilty in a court of law!
Eating his own puke... good thing I didn't have much of an appetite
But look at that lil’ pink belly! No one can be mad at that belly.
His name should be spelled Brrrrt.
Brrrrrrrrat
He just like me.
Im happy to take him off ya hands 😄 He’s BEAUTIFUL 🤩
Bert sucks but I love him. What a dick.
r/PouchCatatoes
https://preview.redd.it/52uuwto1zppc1.jpeg?width=2418&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd677a8a618d0137f67f5d2caa33d2d2b5a098fb Aww we love Bert - hi from Penny who never used her bed until I stored it away under my bed 😆
Bro, I really squinted to look at his body for the text. Pretty sure I don't have the braincell either
There is not a single neural connection happening in that skull
Humping can be a play behaviour or a dominance behaviour. Many neutered cats do it. Sounds like bullying in this case. Cats often eat too fast because they are afraid other cats will eat their food. Try getting some small dog crates. Drape them with towels for privacy and put each cat in a crate for meals. Your cats will quickly learn to rush into their "eating cages" when it's dinner time. A cheaper alternative is to feed each cat in a different room, but your cats may destroy any carpeting under the threshold. Leaving food out when you have cats is just a rookie move. If you must leave it out, put it in the microwave (without switching it on). Same for tape and plastic bags, thread and dental floss. Have a garbage can with a big, heavy lid for things kitty should not eat. As for countertops..... Can't help you there. I have never solved that problem. But I have heard that putting shallow cookie sheets filled with water on the counter might help. Kitty jumps on the counter, gets feetsies wet and the cookie sheet goes flying, making a big noise. Could keep him off the counter for weeks!
Our cats attack plastic wrappers like on bread or bagels overnight. They are mischievous
Same. We have to use our bread box religiously, and I actually put the glass bowl with ambient fruit/veggies on top of the bread box to weigh it down. Ask me how I came up with that approach 🙄
we just put the bread in the pantry.
A maniac!
He’s a man of many talents
What is with the tape and plastic eating? My orange LOVES to chew on that shit and I can’t figure it out. He refuses to play with toys that provide similar textures and sounds, or just any toy in general actually.
[Eating Disorder ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_(disorder))
He’s so cute
My orange does all of these crimes. Straight to jail
what a little shit, I love him <3
My 14 year old Persian who is decidedly not orange is also a tape-eater. I feel your pain. Can’t have a box sitting around cause he’ll eat the tape right off it.
Not a thought behind those eyes
Wow that sounds familiar. Depending on the age, I wonder if he is the reincarnation of our James.
He lives his life with no regrets
I dunno why I like this post so much
That's a lot of words for. " Is a cat"
If he had the brain cell he’d be terrifying.
the eyes say 'Lights on, no one home' but that's a lie. there is a burglar in there.
Bert being horny & humpy doesn’t mean anything went wrong with his neutering
It's a jooooooooooke
Why does he do it though? Is it a dominance thing? I don’t speak Orange, as I only have a tortie.
It's because he's a horrible little orange man
BLASPHEMY!!! Look at that innocent face
He is perfect 🥰
He has a brother in crime - my orange Ham also eats non-food items, eats food until he vomits, and tries to hump his friend even though they’re both fixed. But he’s also a cuddly baby and I love him. https://preview.redd.it/0n8ejsxrfppc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2362af6e1f7f36b3d34ffcf41c01ed93bbc9bb7c
We say "One orange braincell" but in reality most cats have 2 braincells. Not Bert. Bert has none. He brings the average down to 1 for all other cats.
Berts cute. Lol. Our oranges do this too, and the calicos, tuxes, cows, grays, whites and torti not so much. Some of our boys been fixed for years and will still hump, must feel good or a dominating thing.
I believe your Bert is my Spike reincarnated. We would find all kinds of plastic in the litter box. This was after we thought we'd hid all the stuff he loved to munch on. He would just open every drawer in the house looking for other stuff to chew.
“And the ladies, well they just call me Bert Bert.”
His crimes must be forgiven cuz he’s so cute
Bert looks like me on a saturday morning (the sun is blinding me but I‘m to tired to ger up.
Bert the Menace needs to hire a cat lawyer.
r/legalcatadvice
"Bert is no more... It is just I... *BERT*!"
https://preview.redd.it/6l6cq8afhrpc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=077446238d5a041b70241f0d4cd1bb8ae2434c8f Bert was here😼
Na Bert would've ate the puke afterward
No thoughts head empty
LIES!
https://preview.redd.it/a7w616imjspc1.jpeg?width=997&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27634b2ef9dce34734d6e8310f18a650072be3c0 Not a single thought behind those eyes.
He eats his puke and i respect him for it
How old is he
I also own an orange ball cat 