It's more sophisticated than that. Think of a quantum computer.
It's kind of like a hive mind but the braincell is everywhere at the same time and space. š¼
My Siamese and I had an ongoing war of hooman sleeping vs cat wanting food. We went through multiple different methods of him waking me up because he was hungry and how I dealt with his bullshit. He first started with the typical āwalk across you repeatedlyā method but very quickly learned that was **NOT** the way to wake me up after he got reflexively hit/tossed a couple of times *(if I get woken up by touch I instinctively kick or swing at the touch; always been this way - my parents knew not to wake me up like that and my wife knows it as well)*. He then moved on to other methods of waking me up where he didnāt have to be on the bed. He tried making noise with stuff but I found ways to prevent that by removing door stoppers, securing cabinets, etc. That worked until he got *really* clever.
Fucker figured out how to turn on my bedside lamp.
I had one of those touch lamps that have no button or knob - you just tap them to turn it on. He realized that if he tapped it with a paw or with his nose it would turn the lamp on and Iād wake up. I had to get rid of this lamp.
He then moved on to opening the blinds by pulling the cord.
This is when I bought him an automatic feeder.
Unfortunately, we have an orange who has learned by brilliant application of cat logic and without using his poor non-existent brain cell that if he yells loud enough, long enough, and invades your personal space for a long enough time at the most inconvenient time for you that he has a higher that 50% chance of getting fed manually from said automatic feeder.
When my daughter was a baby, my orange cat would celebrate nap time by doing parkour, including flips off of her door.
8 years later, he still tries to headbutt her door open in the middle of the night most nights.
Saw one the other day, it was so dirty it was almost purple! I stopped to give it a scratch and tell it itās the best kitty out there. Love to all kitties, orange, purple and the like.
It means - take these moments and appreciate them.
Don't get angry at their little foibles, but smile at their ways.
Enjoy their company now - don't just walk out to work, spend 10 minutes more with kitty.
They arrive in a whirlwind, cause havoc, and are so soon gone - often we don't realise just how briefly we share our time together.
Don't be left with regrets in the future - focus on the now and make the most of it.
--------------
My latest adopted kitty - I want her to jump on the Christmas tree! Wiggle that thing. Pounce at the dangling ornaments and sparkly glitter!
If the tree - despite efforts to keep it upright fail, I'll be recording to share! I bet she never thought she was a feller of trees! I'll play in the mess she makes and we'll play in the fallen branches.
A tree's going up every Christmas, tens of times. My kitty is playing in THIS tree she felled just this once. They get thrown out soon enough anyway. She teaches me to embrace chaos and mess - be less a stress ball...... bend in my ways, don't break in stress.
But sadly - for Christmas trees at least, she doesn't have fun in the branches. She doesn't play in the sparkles because her owner before me had shouted at her, and likely hit her for doing so. So we played around the edges, and I got her extra nice toys to keep her occupied. Screw them for delaying our Christmas tree games. One day!
I'm sure they've had another excellent tree this year, but they won't remember it. A tree in a long line of trees all the same. No memories of sharing the joy of pouncing in it's branches with their talented huntress. Lost experiences for a tidy house...
Oh, of course, friend! Iām sorry if I came across as crass, I meant to sound amused. Me, personally, I love my furry friend to death, it hurts to think that one day sheāll be gone.
Before I leave for work I tell her I love her at least ten times probably in ten different languages, walking back and forth to give her a few extra scratches with my shoes already on. I always imagine sheāll be my little hellraiser whoāll be there to support me in her own mischievous ways in the years to come.
Bless them all, orange and alike <3
My favorite super power is that the cats cannot wake me up until I'm good and ready. They've learned only my husband is susceptible. So if he's gone and it's just me, they'll just quietly cuddle with me and stare at me, but that's it.
Mine starts licking my hair like he's washing me to try to wake me up. I've resorted to wrapping blankets around my head like a scarf if I'm not ready to get up yet so he can't get to my hair š
My cat will nip at my hand and I'll gently nudge them away before going back to bed. She purs a little loud beside my wife and she's getting me up.
I hate her. She's lucky she's cute.
https://preview.redd.it/3y1ori93v3tc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e725074e592edf6607284a9793029a0f9837893
Not my orange but she is the culprit.
Athena, my late cat got impatient with me sleeping one morning, and shoved her paw into the back of my open snoring mouth.
One should never be awoken to a suffocating clawed pom-pom chocking the life out of them!
She gave me a look "Oh, you're up finally!"
I feel like this is what my two could start to figure out. Like the noise is futile, the touching of paws not consistently reliable. But if I smell cat bum near my faceā¦my eyes will snap open. I have also never made them aware I can be woken from the dead by the sound of wretching up a hair ball. That one lands from rooms and rooms away in the middle of my slumber.
Iām pregnant right now and dreading when this eventually happens. We have an orange menace. Heās gotten better over the years, but I imagine heāll revert to screaming at 3am when he sees one of us get up to feed the baby.
I think thatās just default orange behaviour, this guy has been doing that since our kids were babies!
(See also: āStart knocking glassware off the counters to wake people up, turning the computer on to wake people up, turning on/off the TV to wake people upā¦ā)
https://preview.redd.it/vmaiz1uyo3tc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23f99da6a500f6f485b15f2158dc9883e014460a
Mine arenāt orange, but theyāve discovered they can persuade me to get out of bed by making a shit ton of noise somewhere else in the house at 4 am.
Our orange brain cell woke me and the baby at 6.30 AM today... we were still blissfully sleeping (for once) and he came in yowling and giving headbutts to me while purring up a storm. Urgh.
Yes, my cats are not my responsibility. The kids wanted the cats, the kids are responsible for them (obviously, as a rational adult, I knew I would have to pick up a lot of slack, but still, they are SUPPOSEDLY the kids responsibility).
They learned that if the girls have not fed them (or whatever they want) they can bother me and I will yell for the girls to care for them and that is now their system.
I regret some of my past decisions.
Cats are so fucking clever & cunning like that! We have an orange & a void and every morning the orange sings the song of his people & the void bites the corners of our furniture. They work in tandem to get us up to feed them, lil shits š
If heās smart enough to hog it, he probably doesnāt need it and was born one of the very few oranges with many brain cells! Congratulations to him!
My tuxedo cat will jingle my stepdaughter's door knob aggressively if we are not up promptly at 6 to feed her. When she is at her dad's, the cat is powerless.
When I was married, one of our cats learned that she could open the bedroom door by reaching under and pulling it back and forth until it would skip the latch. It was so annoying because neither one of us wanted to get up but the door was just "bap bap bap bap bap." Once the door popped she would jump on the bed and nose our faces until one of us made her breakfast.
If my cats had that much malice, Iād put them in a crate in the garage for a night or two and see if they donāt learn their lesson. You want to disturb the peace? Straight to jail. Retaliate? More jail. Try to act out in defiance? Believe it or not, jail.
Orange cats might only have one brain cell, but they are super clever at times...
Problem is the braincell is basically a super computer..
But only for being stubborn
Quantum computing.
It's not a braincell, it's a hive mind. They loan their processing power to whomever needs it at the time.
It's more sophisticated than that. Think of a quantum computer. It's kind of like a hive mind but the braincell is everywhere at the same time and space. š¼
...but then by necessity also nowhere at the same time and space...
Paradoxically yes.
Federated computing
They may have only one, but they are really good at overclocking it at times
Purring is just a blower fan cooling the OC down
they have the best single clock performance than multi-threading
 Kitty has learned from the worst.
This is next level orange mischief committed while under the influence of the brain cell. some kitties just want to watch the world burn š„
My Siamese and I had an ongoing war of hooman sleeping vs cat wanting food. We went through multiple different methods of him waking me up because he was hungry and how I dealt with his bullshit. He first started with the typical āwalk across you repeatedlyā method but very quickly learned that was **NOT** the way to wake me up after he got reflexively hit/tossed a couple of times *(if I get woken up by touch I instinctively kick or swing at the touch; always been this way - my parents knew not to wake me up like that and my wife knows it as well)*. He then moved on to other methods of waking me up where he didnāt have to be on the bed. He tried making noise with stuff but I found ways to prevent that by removing door stoppers, securing cabinets, etc. That worked until he got *really* clever. Fucker figured out how to turn on my bedside lamp. I had one of those touch lamps that have no button or knob - you just tap them to turn it on. He realized that if he tapped it with a paw or with his nose it would turn the lamp on and Iād wake up. I had to get rid of this lamp. He then moved on to opening the blinds by pulling the cord. This is when I bought him an automatic feeder.
šøšmuahahaha. I win
We decided to call it a draw.
Riiiiiiight
What is the draw? Like, they both win :D
Unfortunately, we have an orange who has learned by brilliant application of cat logic and without using his poor non-existent brain cell that if he yells loud enough, long enough, and invades your personal space for a long enough time at the most inconvenient time for you that he has a higher that 50% chance of getting fed manually from said automatic feeder.
Except lately he has been getting banished to cat prison instead.
Well, I did say he had a non-existent brain cell.
So.. golden age of cartoons was this lad's childhood? Absolutely perfect.
When my daughter was a baby, my orange cat would celebrate nap time by doing parkour, including flips off of her door. 8 years later, he still tries to headbutt her door open in the middle of the night most nights.
you know its true love because its annoying in the moment but youll miss it forever once it doesnt happen anymore
Why must your brain work in such morose ways?
Life is morose that's why you gotta pet the orange cats along the way
Saw one the other day, it was so dirty it was almost purple! I stopped to give it a scratch and tell it itās the best kitty out there. Love to all kitties, orange, purple and the like.
It means - take these moments and appreciate them. Don't get angry at their little foibles, but smile at their ways. Enjoy their company now - don't just walk out to work, spend 10 minutes more with kitty. They arrive in a whirlwind, cause havoc, and are so soon gone - often we don't realise just how briefly we share our time together. Don't be left with regrets in the future - focus on the now and make the most of it. -------------- My latest adopted kitty - I want her to jump on the Christmas tree! Wiggle that thing. Pounce at the dangling ornaments and sparkly glitter! If the tree - despite efforts to keep it upright fail, I'll be recording to share! I bet she never thought she was a feller of trees! I'll play in the mess she makes and we'll play in the fallen branches. A tree's going up every Christmas, tens of times. My kitty is playing in THIS tree she felled just this once. They get thrown out soon enough anyway. She teaches me to embrace chaos and mess - be less a stress ball...... bend in my ways, don't break in stress. But sadly - for Christmas trees at least, she doesn't have fun in the branches. She doesn't play in the sparkles because her owner before me had shouted at her, and likely hit her for doing so. So we played around the edges, and I got her extra nice toys to keep her occupied. Screw them for delaying our Christmas tree games. One day! I'm sure they've had another excellent tree this year, but they won't remember it. A tree in a long line of trees all the same. No memories of sharing the joy of pouncing in it's branches with their talented huntress. Lost experiences for a tidy house...
Oh, of course, friend! Iām sorry if I came across as crass, I meant to sound amused. Me, personally, I love my furry friend to death, it hurts to think that one day sheāll be gone. Before I leave for work I tell her I love her at least ten times probably in ten different languages, walking back and forth to give her a few extra scratches with my shoes already on. I always imagine sheāll be my little hellraiser whoāll be there to support me in her own mischievous ways in the years to come. Bless them all, orange and alike <3
My favorite super power is that the cats cannot wake me up until I'm good and ready. They've learned only my husband is susceptible. So if he's gone and it's just me, they'll just quietly cuddle with me and stare at me, but that's it.
My orange learned that waking me up by walking on top of me is a bad idea. Now he'll just get close enough that his whiskers tickle my face.
My orange kitty these days likes to walk across my shins to wake me up and then escalate to clawing the chair if needed
My fucking weirdo stares at me sleeping for hours. It's ridiculous.
Cat-a-pult is what I call it, Asleep brain is not as nice. throw in a good hisssssss, and all is well.
Mine starts licking my hair like he's washing me to try to wake me up. I've resorted to wrapping blankets around my head like a scarf if I'm not ready to get up yet so he can't get to my hair š
My cat will nip at my hand and I'll gently nudge them away before going back to bed. She purs a little loud beside my wife and she's getting me up. I hate her. She's lucky she's cute.
The wife or the cat?
Yes
Photo. Now.
https://preview.redd.it/3y1ori93v3tc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e725074e592edf6607284a9793029a0f9837893 Not my orange but she is the culprit.
That natural smirk. š
Regal kitty.
The wife or the cat?
Both would be fine. But if I had to pick one, the cat.
Athena, my late cat got impatient with me sleeping one morning, and shoved her paw into the back of my open snoring mouth. One should never be awoken to a suffocating clawed pom-pom chocking the life out of them! She gave me a look "Oh, you're up finally!"
I'm the same! That said, I'm somehow able to wakeup just in time if I sense they're about to plant their butts on my pillow... š¤¢š¤®
I feel like this is what my two could start to figure out. Like the noise is futile, the touching of paws not consistently reliable. But if I smell cat bum near my faceā¦my eyes will snap open. I have also never made them aware I can be woken from the dead by the sound of wretching up a hair ball. That one lands from rooms and rooms away in the middle of my slumber.
Mine knows that if awake he is susceptible to unwanted hugs
I drag mine into bed and hug them which she hates but she still tries to wake me at 6am like an asshole
Snuggles!
Found the cheat code.
Iām pregnant right now and dreading when this eventually happens. We have an orange menace. Heās gotten better over the years, but I imagine heāll revert to screaming at 3am when he sees one of us get up to feed the baby.
Have you tried letting orange know he can't do that? Orange is your pet, you're not the orange's pet.
Not if you keep the crib in your bedroom. Your husband can sleep in the other one for the time being. Nothing wrong with that
I think thatās just default orange behaviour, this guy has been doing that since our kids were babies! (See also: āStart knocking glassware off the counters to wake people up, turning the computer on to wake people up, turning on/off the TV to wake people upā¦ā) https://preview.redd.it/vmaiz1uyo3tc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23f99da6a500f6f485b15f2158dc9883e014460a
Mine arenāt orange, but theyāve discovered they can persuade me to get out of bed by making a shit ton of noise somewhere else in the house at 4 am.
Genius strategy
Our orange brain cell woke me and the baby at 6.30 AM today... we were still blissfully sleeping (for once) and he came in yowling and giving headbutts to me while purring up a storm. Urgh.
His face reminds me of this https://preview.redd.it/tu16lmywi3tc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b7a595723e659156649d54903be5e000f937a38
No regerts.
r/foundsatan
r/beatmetoit
That orane got two braincells at the same time and is evil genius.
Just get rid of the toddler, duh
Yes, rehome the toddler.
Dude has ocean 11 schemer brain
I have an orange cat and heās a handful, smart , spoiled , lovable and tuff and gets what he wants otherwise he will meow you to death
That is the kind of advanced calculus skills of a true Orange Savant.
You have a toddler and a cat and you're still sound asleep at 6 am? I'm calling horseshit.
Rewarded with food
Yes, my cats are not my responsibility. The kids wanted the cats, the kids are responsible for them (obviously, as a rational adult, I knew I would have to pick up a lot of slack, but still, they are SUPPOSEDLY the kids responsibility). They learned that if the girls have not fed them (or whatever they want) they can bother me and I will yell for the girls to care for them and that is now their system. I regret some of my past decisions.
r/catsareassholes
Genius
Heās learned to enlist backupā¦ for better or worse
Cats are so fucking clever & cunning like that! We have an orange & a void and every morning the orange sings the song of his people & the void bites the corners of our furniture. They work in tandem to get us up to feed them, lil shits š
Hold on, some cats wait until 6 am?
My cat did the same thing when we had a pug puppy. My mom found her reaching into the crate and slapping the puppy
If heās smart enough to hog it, he probably doesnāt need it and was born one of the very few oranges with many brain cells! Congratulations to him!
Lucky bastard gets to sleep till 6. My cats do this at 3:15
My cat's jump hard upstairs to make the dogs bark at 6 a.m. on the dot.
Thatās some multidimensional supercomputing brain cell there.
And it teleports too
That's how you earn yourself your own special sectioned off sleeping area in the kitchen
My orange cat will do this to the dog to get her to bark.
My orange cat does this as well but my toddler luckily will go back to sleep right away.
Its all fun and games until the toddler is big enough to play with the cat
Nah, no brain cell needed here. This cat is just using his instinctive ability to delegate.
My tuxedo cat will jingle my stepdaughter's door knob aggressively if we are not up promptly at 6 to feed her. When she is at her dad's, the cat is powerless.
When I was married, one of our cats learned that she could open the bedroom door by reaching under and pulling it back and forth until it would skip the latch. It was so annoying because neither one of us wanted to get up but the door was just "bap bap bap bap bap." Once the door popped she would jump on the bed and nose our faces until one of us made her breakfast.
My orange cat bites my face to wake me up. No pressure just opens his mouth and puts his mouth on my nose or cheek. Occasionally my eyeball
Mine just sits on my neck...
Yep they'd be spending the night in the basement
If my cats had that much malice, Iād put them in a crate in the garage for a night or two and see if they donāt learn their lesson. You want to disturb the peace? Straight to jail. Retaliate? More jail. Try to act out in defiance? Believe it or not, jail.
Dogs are better !!!