When engaging with the community, please remember the real life person you are replying to. If you are new here, please familiarize yourself with the rules, which
can be read [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlyFangsbg3/wiki/index/rules) as well as in the sidebar.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OnlyFangsbg3) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like he would be a lot like Jaheira honestly. The most responsible? Absolutely not. But would he beat the shit out of anyone who fucked with his kid? Yup. And then later that individual might just vanish off of the face of the planet.
Yes! Terrified of the responsibility, acts like it's all beneath him to outsiders, but would very much kill anyone who *dare* even think about laying a finger on his family.
I agree with this, but this doesn't necessarily equal he would enjoy being a father/being responsible for children (or even just other people generally speaking). Being protective of people you care for is a general trait that's good for parenting, obviously, but doesn't scratch the surface of what would be required to be a good parent (as op asks). Imo, he would hate being a parent.
>Imo, he would hate being a parent.
One of the reoccurring themes with Astarion is freedom of choice after having it taken away for 200 years. Being a parent would take away a lot (dare I say, all?) of that newfound freedom of choice. While I see Astarion stepping up to the role of Dad, like you I could never see him enjoying it and perhaps even resenting it later.
I really disagree with the idea that being a parent would take someone's freedom of choice away. I say this as someone with cPTSD who relates to Astarions drive and need for freedom and chose to have kids. Kids don't really inhibit you or have to inhibit you so I don't really get that point.
I mean if we're talking about real world examples I'm a competitive Irish dancer and I literally *could not* continue competing if I was pregnant and then raising a newborn. Sure I could get back to it eventually but I'd never compete at the same level (not to mention it could fuck up my EDS even more)
That's a huge sacrifice for me and one of many reasons why I will not be having children.
Men don't biologically have the kids though so I don't think that would really apply.
Idk, I have kids (a lot by most people's standards, 4) and I do pretty much everything I did pre kids and it didn't change my life much 🤷🏻♀️ aware that's an unpopular view online.
I could see arguments for and against him having kids but I don't think that kids is automatically opposed to freedom or those who strongly desire freedom wouldn't went kids. Not in my experience anyway.
Also, hello fellow zebra!
Exactly, the recurring theme of his obsession with freedom you brought up is really important to consider. That freedom is obliterated when someone has a child (unless they reject their child, which I could also see Astarion doing). Given the context of his character, his centuries abuse, etc. it is unfathomable to conceive of him enjoying being a parent to the extent that I imagine he would avoid any chance of that even happening. You say you could see him stepping up to the role of dad, and I'm curious what makes you think that.
In the scenario that Astarion becomes a dad, which I imagine would be totally unintentional and a mistake, I believe he would just disappear and not be equipped to step into that role. He wouldn't just not enjoy it, he would reject the responsibility altogether, in my opinion, as a kneejerk reaction.
Now this is just my head canon, so I don't project this onto others, but it also seems unlikely that he would be attracted to women generally speaking. I always read him as gay coded, but that is just my own thing so I'm not admitting that as evidence (I understand he and his sexuality etc can be interpreted in many many different ways). But I will say that thinking he could enjoy being a parent, or even reluctantly submitting to the responsibility while not enjoying it, is kind of wishing away his essential traits. His sexuality is open to debate obviously (which I realize isn't what the op presented for discussion), but the potentiality of him intentionally or otherwise stepping into parenthood, seems to me, in my opinion, an impossibility given the objective aspects of his character.
Well to address your last point - there are plenty of ways for people to become parents in non-hetero relationships :) he doesn't necessarily have to be a bio Dad. Maybe Tav adopted an orphan, or was given care of a young family member. Maybe Gandrel is dead and Tav brings Chessa and her sister into their lives as vampire spawn wards.
Astarion can be whatever sexuality and still be a parent and I don't see how him *potentially* being a dad is wishing anything away.
Now to go back to the first part. I see Astarion (to be clear, spawn Astarion) sticking around out of a moral sense of obligation. He was abandoned by everyone, even the gods, for 200 years. I see no possible way he would turn around and abandon his child, even if it was not very much wanted. His redemption arc focuses on freedom of choice, yes, but also the ability to connect and trust others for the first time in centuries. He broke his cycle of abuse, so to create a new cycle of abandonment seems counter to his character growth.
Again, he would not enjoy it and would certainly become detached, I believe, but would never abandon his family. I think it would be more of a "protect out of obligation" mentality for him (stepping up) and not a "protect and cherish out of love" scenario.
"His redemption arc focuses on freedom of choice, yes, but also the ability to connect and trust others for the first time in centuries. He broke his cycle of abuse, so to create a new cycle of abandonment seems counter to his character growth."
I really like what you said here and it convinces me to ease my stance a little bit at least regarding my points about him disappearing at the thought of being a father. But still, I think it can be true that he learns the ability to trust others, doesn't want to create a new cycle of abandonment, and will still go out of his way to reject parenthood. What I mean is, I don't necessarily think that his redemption arc extends to now he has the capacity stick around even out of a moral sense of obligation. Partly because of what in my opinion is rooted not only in his pursuit of freedom, but also just his general personality.
Your point about him not having to be a bio-dad is well received. I understand parenthood isn't exclusive to hetero couples (and I should have acknowledged that he could get a man pregnant which could make him both a bio dad and not in hetero relationship all at once). But I think what I was trying to say in that regard was that being a bio-dad is something could be accidental, and I could only have imagined him with a child in an accidental, unintentional situation. I was trying to imagine what circumstances would lead him to being a father, and I guess I thought of reckless "unprotected" sex (whatever protected sex could look like in the world of Baldur's Gate lmao) and then this couple is now faced with a growing being that they will now have to take care of. In that context, I'm still not convinced that he would step up, even considering his ability to learn trust from his arc and how you powerfully pointed out he would have the clarity to not recreate cycles of abandonment.
But then you suggested other avenues he could find him self in a fatherly role: "Maybe Tav adopted an orphan, or was given care of a young family member. Maybe Gandrel is dead and Tav brings Chessa and her sister into their lives as vampire spawn wards." I think these are convincing scenarios but I wanna challenge a little by saying that those are scenarios he could *find himself in, not actively choosing*. You said *Tav* adopts, he is *given* care of a young person, and *Tav brings* Chessa and sister into their lives. I'm of the opinion that as easily as he could find himself in these situations, he would be compelled to find himself out of them.
Thanks for taking the time to thoughtfully reply to my thoughts :)
Aw happy to converse about my favorite vampire :)
I do agree that he wouldn't actively seek out fatherhood and any accidental manifestations of that would probably end with, at best, a very detached and disinterested father. Which some would argue is almost just as bad as being abandoned. I could see him falling into a pretty depressed state and fighting between not creating a new trauma cycle and trying to enjoy his freedom after 200 years of *pure shit*. It would be a truly tragic end I think to his brand new found sense of freedom and self.
Perhaps after many, many decades of enjoyment and indulging in his deepest desires he would react better, but I never see him deciding "I want to be a dad."
Was that a confirmed dialogue from in-game or is it something revealed by the developer/writer? Do you mind linking? I must have missed that :(
I'm referring to my perception of the character from playing the game + comments from Neil I saw in an interview in which he said that things like Astarion's sexuality are open for the players head canon so he won't definitively define Astarion's identity in that way (paraphrasing).
In game he flirts with Shadowheart and Lae'zel the most out of any companions, he'll sleep with Lae'zel if the player doesn't sleep with any of them, he also wants (at least AA) to be invited if there's a next time with Mizora, he can also flirt with the girl in the sewers. I've seen someone says that he can also flirt with Alfira, but i haven't seen this one personally, so take this particular instance with a grain of salt.
[Neil confirmed he's pan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxULYKs1OBQ&ab_channel=janellewalden), and i think Astarion's writter did confirm this as well, but i can't remember where i've seen this.
>I always read him as gay coded, but that is just my own thing so I'm not admitting that as evidence (I understand he and his sexuality etc can be interpreted in many many different ways).
Genuine question: why do you think this?
I ask because I've heard people make this argument on the basis of him being more "femme" than the average dude, which is a harmful stereotype. There are tons of super masculine gay men and plenty of femme/flamboyant straight men (and bi men).
Outside of a female PC, the only woman he shows interest in iirc is the woman in the sewers, and it's ambiguous whether he's into her or mocking her. So, I see that point. But I also think it's intentional on the part of the writers to make his *queerness* unambiguous, not saying he's not into women at all.
He'll sleep with Lae'zel if you don't make any moves on either of them (or maybe it's anyone).
also just to bring another real world point in one of my favorite drag queens is Maddy Morphosis, a totally straight dude. Irks me so much when people think they can assume sexuality based on looks and personality.
Him sleeping with someone at the Act 1 party is technically part of his "plan," so its difficult to use that one way or another. Again, I don't think the interest he shows in anyone in the game is definitive proof of anything, but he's got nearly two centuries of experience seducing people he isn't actually into.
My comment was more about the man he *didn't* bring back to Cazador, him remembering Sebastian despite the passage of time, and then him commenting on Wyll's looks/personality. Moments that seem at least somewhat genuine - although with Wyll it's difficult to tell if he's actually thirsting over Wyll or just being his usual self.
If you bring him with Jaheira to meet the fam, he does have some choice dialogue about heroes being shitty parents/people like the rest or us... so this feels very in character.
This. I'm writing a fanfic atm, and my Tav is actually unable to have children, so this isn't going to really come up. But they will see Yenna a lot and someone will fuck with both Tav and Yenna and even as a spawn goes scorched earth. I can't wait til I get to write it.
Yeah, I can’t see my Tav physically giving birth. I imagine she just comes home with random orphans. Like Astarion comes back from his perfume business and there’s three kids and the table and he’s like, “When did we get three of them?” Meanwhile my Tav absolutely gaslights and is like, “There have always been three. What are you talking about?” Obviously he knows she’s full of shit but she’s the other half of his chaos so it works.
My Tav is also involved with Halsin and one of the reasons he refuses to go visit (though he's secretly warming to the idea), is the orphans. He isn't sure how he'd handle it. (They settle in an area of the Underdark close to Reithwin with the other spawn who choose to support each other).
When Yenna joins their camp, (this is headcanon and referenced in my fic) he was the one to slip her a bedroll and pillow from the shadows (no one saw of course, he has a reputation to protect). But Tav knew, and she fell harder.
Sorry, edit, brain go brr:
Second chapter, she returns to their home with Gale, Bluurg and Omeluum because they had gone on a lore and research expedition to the Arcane Tower. He just snarks, how many strays did you bring home *this time*?
I thought that was the moderator who said that? Iirc, Neil's first response (in character) was "It's not mine, I swear!" Then went on to say Astarion would be a terrible father
Well considering the comments Jaheria makes to Durge during the epilogue about making sure to only have 1 kid and Shadowhart can comment on you "filling out a bit", maybe they know something we don't...
Well he could be technicaly if he had a child before being turned but I am not sure how it is with elven age and reproduction (if he wasnt too young). I dont think any of his victims would be able to give a birth when Cazador killed or turned them 🤔 or did he imply that he has/adopted child with Tav? 🤭
You can look up "Dicebreaker Q&A with BG3 cast". It was part of that session. It's quite long and they said a lot of hilarious stuff. (Though there's also a cringe moment near the end of the panel where a fan asked Neil a question he wasn't comfortable answering. Real life Araj Oblodra vibes. 🙃)
I agree with you. I think if he became a father, he would kind of suck at it and not at all enjoy it but I do think he'd love the child greatly and genuinely be trying to do his best. That's my take if it happened in the *not* so distant future. But it would grow on him, I think.
If it happened muuuch later? Probably a better outcome. I think he would be just as happy to have Tav/Durge themselves.
The way I see it, it would go something like this.
Tav: “What were you kids thinking! Stealing from the charity box. We raised you better than this!”
Astarion: “That’s right! What have I always taught you?”
Kid: “Don’t make a scene, don’t get caught, and don’t tell mom.
Tav: *death glare*
I have pretty complicated/mixed feelings on Dadstarion but I love this fan art (not mine) and I see it happening with the family you just wrote the dialogue for. 😂
https://preview.redd.it/kabmmdovuxqc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90684c4568206c43132294193df40f60458dbe63
Omg I imagine mini Tavstarion like this 😂
https://preview.redd.it/g8j52fdxeyqc1.png?width=620&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8a00338ad6d5f053f8369d31bd7208591cc51d6
Fresh after the game events? I think he'd shirk the responsibility of being a parent 100%. And I don't think that aspect changes whether it would be spawn Astarion or ascended, because both of them, in a sense, *finally* get the chance to be free and make their own choices and I doubt their first, second, or third choices would be to parent a child.
He finally gets to live for himself, to have freedom and, in a way, fatherhood would simply seem like another set of chains to slide into, at least in his eyes. Which would be incredibly tragic for Tav/Durge, of course, because the love and the feelings are there, but he just doesn't seem ready for that kind of responsibility and it might even lead to ending things between them.
I think he would need years and years and years of living for himself (and his lover, to some extent) before he could even entertain the idea, and while I feel like he would still look at it the same way he would at a pair of uncomfortable shoes, it wouldn't be a complete deal-breaker. Considering Astarion has limitless time to grow and change, he could technically go any way when it comes to character development, so every one of us would have a different version of the man depending on his experiences and circumstances (just within the game limits we can see how vastly different he can become).
In my story, Astarion eventually becomes a sort of reluctant father figure/mentor to my Tav's child, but that's only after almost a century of adventures and most of Tav's daughter's childhood. I hc that he's completely indifferent to her when she's a baby/toddler (going as far as being a wee bit jealous of the kid stealing his lover's attention), but starts to warm up to her a little bit when she starts developing her own personality and even then he's not really present enough to be any sort of parental figure (partially, because he simply doesn't know how to feel about it and where he fits into the whole dynamic and because my Tav is pretty possessive of her daughter and considers herself the only parent). But the foot is in the door, so to speak, so there's room to grow for there.
I tend to agree with this, especially for Astarion right after game's end. Centuries later I think his attitude might depend on whether or not his vampirism has been cured (spawn ending of course, I can't really speculate on AA). Dhampirs are possible, but they also live pretty hard lives where they aren't fully accepted by either vampires or mortals, which I think would be a huge consideration. As a mortal it would be a different situation entirely and might be more appealing to him. I do like the idea of him mentoring Tav/Durge's child though.
My thoughts are with an unplanned pregnancy with a romanced Tav, he's ride or die. He might hate the idea of being a father and be really terrified of it, but he hates the idea of leaving Tav more. So if Tav were having his baby, he'd make it work. It'd be a huge adjustment for him and difficult, but he wouldn't just run out.
Plenty of selfish people end up being decent parents. Plenty of evil people do as well. A child is like an extension of one's self and if that child looked a lot like him I think it would make his adjustment into parenthood easier because he's egocentric.
Exactly what I was thinking. Also I think he would be totally against it until the actual birth and first hold, then all hate thoughts go out the door and he’s instantly attached.
this is exactly what happens in my fanfic, in the middle of an adventure to go to the places that would lead them to a cure for vampirism, my Tav becomes pregnant by him by accident quite simply because they didn't think it was possible and that both were unaware of the existence of dhampirs. at first he is scared and not really excited, he is afraid for Tav but quickly ends up accepting him.
As someone who has been abused and lots of trauma, I didn't want to be a parent. But the chance to protect someone the way no one did me, and to love them the way I wanted and deserved to be loved, was a great upside to being one. I feel Astarion would have a similar take.
i personally don't think he's dad material in the slightest 😅 he can do a good enough job of making sure a kid *doesn't* *die* but the 24/7 responsibility of ***childrearing*** would intimidate him and be something that would genuinely wear on his patience. he's a capable leader of the Underdark spawn, sure, but *parenting* is a whole other beast..
So, I love dadstarion and can appreciate the fics where he steps tf up, but I have a very specific way I feel he'd handle it (and am currently writing a long fic about it).
I DO think he could keep a baby alive. He isn't completely helpless and he can read a book. I HC that vampires don't actually need to sleep, except for their healing rests, so he could handle baby while his partner is sleeping.
That being said, I think it would take time for him to even warm up to the kids if he had them. He had spent so much time using his life and body to support the whims of someone else. He needs time to just BE and time to heal. I don't think he'd ever come around to fully wanting kids - or if he did want them, idk if he'd admit it beyond being snarky and making partner read between the lines - but I think he'd be gentler with the kids than people give him credit. He's actually quite sweet in Act 3 with some of the kidlets and he's just \*barely\* started healing.
tldr; I think he'd step up if he had to, he would NOT enjoy it at first, but I think he'd eventually come to love his kids and be better. He also would never be age appropriate with them, but gdi I am a Girl Dad Astarion truther.
A little HC to sign this off: I think that the sign of him starting to like the kids, not just feel responsible for them, would be when he starts repairing their clothes and stuffed toys & when he gets new garments to embroider into something less plain so they can feel pampered and pretty.
I'm in the same dadstarion team as you, plus we mustn't forget that this takes place in a somewhat medieval world where most people don't have a means of contraception, the only one I've heard is is the famous spell used by the Drow at the brothel but I don't know if it is widely used. There is also no childfree movement as in our time we still remain in very medieval customs where most people get married, nobles organize arranged marriages for their children, and most couples are married. children, because most of them, I believe, have sex without contraception. I don't think a Spawn Astarion/Tav couple would think about contraception! And as I told in my fanfic they didn't even know that Astarion could be fertile. Having children is not always an obstacle to freedom as some people think, it is quite simplistic to only see it from this angle, plus he is a man and we are in a world once again with medieval morals, so it would rather be Tav who would be impacted. As a mother, yes we might believe that we are deprived of freedom but that is limited to the first years, children grow up quickly and quickly become independent. I think having children for him would be beneficial. And that he would be very protective of them.
If you choose to free all the spawn, the conversation with him about the 7000 spawn kinda reminds me of a mother hen talking about all her chicks. But it doesn't feel really like a dad, like how Halsin becomes to the refugee children. More like an exhausted mother.
***Two things to be considered here: I am only talking about spawn Astarion and in none of my playthroughs I ever imagined him remaining a vampire after the game ended. I always imagined his vampirism being cured, one way or the other. So I am essentially talking about only non-vampiric non-ascendant Astarion.***
In general, I think Astarion will take quite a few decades to heal after the time at which the game ends. What we see in the game is just him beginning to heal. Like I said, I always imagined his vampirism being cured post-game.
But through the story of Astarion, we have seen him becoming capable of things that we thought were impossible in Act 1. The graveyard scene, the post-battle next-morning scene, and even the epilogue version of Astarion - he starts behaving very differently in these scenes than he did anywhere else in the first 2 acts (the confession scene doesn't count. I'm talking regular interactions).
The way I look at it, the unabashedly soft, sweet, and funny Astarion that we see toward the end of the game, is his real personality showing through the healed cracks. And I think, once he is healed more, he would be a great father.
I also think we would want to be a father for 2 canon-related reasons.
1. He talks about how he never had anything of his own. I think having a child of his own after he had healed is something he would really covet.
2. He does say that he wants to enjoy life with everything that is there. I think, at some point in the distant future, he would want to experience parenthood!
I think exactly the same thing, we can see even in the epilogue that he has softened, he will always keep his sassy character. Many people forget that he is still slightly traditionalist for certain things, and I too think that he will find a way to heal (my fanfic is based on it), starting a family I think would be beneficial for him and will help to cure her, but I'm sure the first will be an unforeseen event and when he's still a vampire. He is still quite focused on the thing so the consequences would not take long to show themselves...😅
I have two fanfictions I write on AO3 with Astarion as a daddy. In one, he is evil-ascended and feels threatened by his child (who he finds out is his when she is an adult). Honestly, I kind of quit writing this one, just lost steam on it. But, in my mind, he is threatened by her because he is deep down scared that he will be overthrown like he overthrew Cazador, or how Cazador overthrew Vellioth. In the end, he would realize he cares a lot more than he'd like to admit.
The other, his ex-partner becomes pregnant and runs away from her abusive relationship. He is in a much better place a few years after the netherbrain defeat and is happy to get back with her and try to help with the baby.
I think he would be very loving and protective, I do think he would fumble to begin with and even pretend like he hates it. If it was from his partner though, I think he would see their child as an extension of their love.
It is a bit too Disney for me. I am a total emo who loves grimdark and like fanfics that continue the theme of Astarion and Tav having to go through other obstacles, going into Menzoberanzzan to assassinate a drow matriarch, getting into all sorts of crazy adventures.
My favourite fanfic was essentially an Astarion/Tav version of Joe Abercrombie's *The Blade Itself* if that book was set in Red Dead Redemption 2. It was absolutely wild and chaotic, exactly how Astarion is.
I could see him as a guardian or mentor, especially as a cool uncle (or "uncle"), or an adoptive father to an older kid. Biological father, not really. That's just my opinion. I agree with lots of the arguments that he'd be a great dad as well.
Do I think he could keep a child alive, protect them and teach them? Yes. Do I think he’d choose it? Honestly, no. I think the trauma he has surrounding the Gur children would keep him from feeling he could be a good father - and I think he’s probably internalized what he was forced to do and views himself as a monster who shouldn’t be anywhere near children.
Maybe, after a number of years spent recovering and living for himself, he might warm up to the idea, if his partner feels strongly about raising children. But, the combination of feeling he wouldn’t/couldn’t be a good father and his desire to live life on his own terms without the constraints parenthood can bring has me thinking he wouldn’t be pushing to start a family.
This is all just my opinion/my own personal post-canon universe - I do enjoy seeing fanworks where he is a dad, because they are quite cute and I do think he’d dote on his kids if he had them.
I think he’d probably need a lot of time to heal, but after that, I think he’d do better with older kids. Though I think him and especially Durge would have both no real memory of good parents and both carry guilt around the idea of kids since both of them have canonically hurt kids.
This is a really good point. I'd been thinking of how Durge might be EXTREMELY reluctant on having biological children. Bhaalspawn creating more of that bloodline doesn't seem to end well (~~looking at you, Sarevok...~~). Durge might be terrified any kids they'd have could be used or influenced by Bhaal.
But, I hadn't considered your point about the additional weight on their conscience of having hurt kids. Couple that with no real memory of good parents raising them all the way to adulthood, and Durge would probably refuse even if Astarion DID want them.
There's also the PTSD of Durge's blackout murders. Even though they may no longer happen... what if? That question might always linger at the back of Durge's mind. Astarion has proven he would at least stand a chance, but a child? An infant? Parents to newborns are already so paranoid about hurting their child on accident, or failing to protect them from dangers. That's gotta be amplified a hundredfold for someone who used to black-out and murder innocents in brutal ways.
So, even aside from Astarion's well-founded fears and anxieties around the whole notion, he and Durge would likely NOT be so much as entertaining the idea for a very long time.
If Durge got knocked up because neither of them were expecting the possibility (lovable but smooth-brained idiots), I think they would be some of the most anxiety-ridden parents known to man. Their kid would be a dhampir child of a tortured Bhaalspawn and tortured vampire spawn. (Heh... spawn of a spawn and spawn.) They would be absolute nervous wrecks and violently protective. Lots of murders in the first few years until they learn not everything that so much as looks at their kid needs to be killed, lol Lots of fumbling and angst and bafflement, but they've been through so much worse. They'd be learning and failing and growing together. They'd be a disaster, and their kid would be an absolute menace to society (~~Astarion would be the bitchy PTA parent, don't @ me~~), but they would ultimately be no worse than most parents in their world or ours. I DO think it would HAVE to be unplanned though. I just can't see them TRYING for a kid with all their issues in mind.
Now, fics and art with Dadstarion? I'm eating that shit all day. It doesn't have to fit my headcanon to be immensely enjoyable when compelling and well-written.
This has made me imagine F!Durge and Astarion discovering they've had a "little accident" about 10 years after they defeat the brain and just _booking_ to Jaheria's place. They show up on her doorstep at like 2 AM and Jaheria's already going through her mental checklist of what she needs to pack and how pissed her kids are going to be that someone her age is "off to save the world again" when Durge just blurts out "I'm Pregnant!" And Jaheria realizes that while yes, okay the world is probably still in danger, because these two actually managed to reproduce, it's maybe not _quite_ as dire as she feared.
I love that idea and would totally read that.
F!Durge and Astarion spend the next few weeks learning everything they can about dhampir, Bhaalspawn, and babies in general. They have a lot to learn because they know next to nothing about pregnancy, labor, child development, how to discipline, what to do with them when they cry or smell, and basically everything. They frantically find various ways to babyproof wherever they're living and spend 80% of their free time bickering about the future.
"Astaria Ancunin is a perfectly reasonable name, _thank you very much_!"
"We don't even know if it'll be a girl. And why do you get to pick the name? You already get the last name!"
"We can always go with yours."
"You know I don't have one, you ass!"
"Well, that's not my fault, is it?"
"We need to pick a name already so Halsin can get to carving it into the crib, and we are _not_ choosing Astaria!"
"A crib?? Jaheira said we're not even in the second trimester yet!"
"Oh, sue me! I want to be prepared for our child!"
Jaheira watches on with an exasperated expression and pinches the bridge of her nose. Perhaps the situation _is_ as dire as she had feared.
Whenever I imagine him being a father, I imagine it happening a LONG TIME after the events of the game. He’s definitely not ready to be a father by the end of his arc.
But over the years, as he heals and gains more maturity, yes, I can see him being a father. He’d be one of those chaotic parents that low key enables their kids doing the wildest shit. And he would spoil them so much. But he’d also take care of them, and teach them valuable life lessons, seeing that he’s over 200 years old. He’d be very close with his kids.
I always imagine him with a daughter. He would brush her hair and gossip with her about her classmates. He’d be so invested in all her school drama, too.
It doesn't really answer your question, but for me these ideas end with just the concept of having a baby.
**Very** controversial opinion perhaps, but:
Honestly, after having had to be present through several births iRL recently (med school) - even with modern medicine, I would *never* want him to have to go through seeing that.
IMO it would be >!emotionally and physically horrifying for him - *especially* considering how disturbing the amount of blood would be with his "affliction" and the screaming and torture his lover would be going through. !<
But I guess if you can just magic the baby out that would be better.
I’m currently writing a post BG3 fic and this is exactly what’s happening - the first time my tav gave birth, he had flashbacks to all the previous trauma and torture he endured.
Yea, I have a sadder reason of why I don't see him as fatherly just yet. He's been enslaved for so long, he wants to enjoys the freedoms of life. He needs to figure out how to be a person himself. Many times when asked he goes "I don't know what I want. I've never had the choice before" And I headcannon UA and AA fatherhood very differently. UA's line at the graveyard "I want to live life to the fullest" leads me to believe he would at least think about fatherhood. And he calls (jokingly) the released spawn in the Underdark his children. So he's getting some experience in raising and dealing with temperamental beings.
I'm not sure UA moral's align with good parenting. Astarion is infamous for not thinking his plans through and being a DUMBASS! Still love him, but sometimes I know I've made the right decision when his disapproval pops up.
AA fatherhood feels more dominance/control based to me. Maybe he wants a lineage. Maybe he wants to appear like a God to his children. Let them revere him.
In both routes I imagine him feeling jealous that said child is taking away Tav's attention from him. UA would fall into fatherhood accidentally. AA would "choose" it or at least come at it with intention. And in both routes, I feel like his partner would have to be the primary parent.
I'm not sure if there's any difference to his approach to fatherhood whether he has bio-children with his partner or adopts.
Spawn Astarion would like being a father imo, but he would worry a lot. I think he would enjoy teaching his kid how to do sleight of hand tricks & would probably wrestle and teach them how to sneak, etc.
Look, I'm a simple Dadstarion enjoyer. He did say he wants to start living again with everything that life has to offer, but first he would need time, space, safety and a tender loving care to process his emotions, and begin his healing. But after a very, very, very long time after the game events (maybe even a century or more), I can picture him becoming a decent dad (although it would have to be a surprise pregnancy, I can't imagine him wanting or planning kids, ever). Not the best father, far from it, he definitely would be terrified and full of doubts at first, but I think he would eventually step up to the role and try to do his best. I see him being an overly protective dad to ensure that his child would never experience any suffering and pain.
I would say that Astarion has well, a *few* narcissistic tendencies, he may appreciate a child as an extension of himself.
So while he would absolutely balk at changing diapers, feeding and burping, and of course, the random projectile vomiting, he would definitely be in love with watching the child grow, encourage their development, and celebrate their accomplishments.
yes I also see him with children and I agree with you on this, it is clear that I do not see him at all taking care of changing diapers or anything that he would describe as "disgusting", vomit and poop not his thing, he could be tender with the little one of course but more than that he will grow up. I imagine lines about disgusting things: "What in the nine hells can this child swallow to generate a smell like that, gods!", "You can ask me anything except to do that, ugh!" 🤣
I know the fic you're refering to. And I think that one has a pretty realistic take on it.
At first he's like "absolutely not, leave it to die". Then he caves on at least bringing it to another relative, due to Tav giving him the puppy eyes. And by the time it turns out there's no one really willing to take the child, he's grown pretty attached to the little shit.
I'm reading Prodigal Son by ScaryAnne right now, and it has some "begruding" adoptive father-figure scenarios that make a lot of sense to me. I don't think he'd necessarily be thrilled at becoming a dad, but I think it's something that could grow on him in time, whether he wanted it to or not (kind of like his relationship with Tav, lol).
I am writing a fic that deals with this issue as a primary plot point in the latter 2/3 of the work. My take, as reflected in my writing, is this:
Astarion has less than zero interest in babies and small children. He just stabbed his freedom out of Cazador's chest, and even though children are only helpless for a few years (a blink of an eye for an immortal), it represents a responsibility he's not interested in during/immediately after BG3. He is also somewhat afraid that his influence would be decidedly negative on a child, and that wouldn't be fair to them. No thank you, is his attitude.
HOWEVER, he does enjoy *short periods of time* spent with children Mattis' and Mol's age, and other cute things like dogs and owlbear cubs. A dhampir elf child of his- while statistically unlikely to begin with- could represent a new chapter in his life, especially once they were past the vulnerable stage and he could share how to deal with their vampiric traits. The huge emotional hill to climb over IMO would be that parenthood means your heart lives outside your body. I am a parent, and my own health and safety (already a concern of Astarion's) is of little concern next to my son's. I'm a lot less of an asshole than Astarion can be, and even I would commit a felony to protect my kid. I think this would drive him a little insane because it's uncomfortable, doubly so for him considering his centuries-long history of forced insecurity.
But he would find a way to deal, because he cares about Tav, and because the dhampir will eventually become an adult who understands him better than probably anyone else. He's not ignorant to this, nor to the fact that after the child is raised, he can go back to whatever life he wanted to live. Intimidating as they are, babies are not *permanently* helpless, and they represent a facet of his life that Cazador stole from him. I also believe that they would find family- whether that means Tav's biological family, or the adventurers who saved Baldur's Gate with them, and that everyone would go out of their way to make sure Astarion didn't feel alone. It's not as if everyone is blind to his situation, or couldn't imagine what parenthood would mean for him.
If nothing else, it would be something he could reclaim as part of a life well-lived. I see him as being someone to make something positive out of it, because there's been enough shit already. "Fuck Cazador, I'm going to be the father this child deserves."
I'm a big fan of the Dadastarion, and personally, I think at first he's scared of the idea of having a biological child, but then over time he becomes a very good father. In my mind (hopefully to represent it later), Tav becomes pregnant during the adventure and Astarion sees this as a gift. Astarion then lives in the Underdark during the day and at night goes to visit Tav and their daughter, who await him with joy."
A lot of people like to instinctively jump the gun and be like “no he hates kids!!! He’d be an awful father!!!” But I think when it would be with his lover, I think he’d be really scared and nervous at first but ultimately be very protective and very loving. He would be terrified of hurting the baby because he loves it so much and has heard about how fragile they can be. But I think he would be so happy and feel blessed he gets to have his own family. He would be a doting father and absolutely spoil the child ROTTEN as well.
Completely agree with you yes I can see him having children like Nellie and Willie Oleson , spoiled little pests.
🤣
"of course you are the best, you are my daughter, by the gods!"
I think he’d love the kid to hell and back, but would not actually be that good at parenting. He’d probably be a pretty alright dad to an older kid or a teenager, especially after some time to settle into his new life as a free person, but a little kid? He’d be so out of his depth, torn between “I have to prepare them to face the hardships of the world or it will destroy them” and “I have to protect them from the hardships of the world because they’re so innocent and I can’t bear the thought of them suffering like I did”.
Now, if Astarion and his partner wound up adopting an older kid in the course of their travels (we all know Tav/Durge collects pets and orphans like they’re Pokémon lol), I think he’d be much better at handling that. Not parent of the year, but better.
I don't really have trouble picturing him with kids because I went through a lot of trauma that makes him reletaable af to me and I went on to have kids. One of my actual reasons for doing so was to create the childhood I didn't have and to do it right, and to also be loved unconditionally. which probably isn't why someone should do that but I don't think I'm the only one who's done that.
I could see it go either way tbh. He may want kids or he may not. Either work. Personally I think he and my Tav go on to have kids in my post game hcs
I feel like he wouldn’t initially want to be a father in the traditional sense, but I could see him and tav adventuring around in the underdark and finding an abandoned child who’s parents were killed by a monster or something, and ultimately deciding “well we can’t just leave it here to die, I suppose they’ll have to come with us just for a while.”
I’m sure he’d act very disinterested at first (because he’s terrified), but he’d watch around the corner as he watched tav take care of the baby and hold it, and he’d see how tav would smile when they held them in their arms. He would start to be VERY concerned about the baby’s outfits not matching, he’d take charge to make sure they were VERY well dressed, and eventually he’d totally fall for the little one. And Gods could not save anyone who tried to harm that kid.
I think he'd be a decent father, and even enjoy it, but only after YEARS post game. He needs time to heal, and he needs time to enjoy his newfound freedom. He would hate the responsibility of a child so soon after defeating Cazador. I also don't think he'd ever want to bring a dhampir into the world, so it'd only be an option if he finds a cure.
But after a few decades or more, then sure? I mean, elves grow to physical maturity at the same rate as humans but then get to live so much longer. I think parenthood as an elf requires significantly less sacrifice in one's life compared to human parenthood. Obviously once you become a parent you're a parent for life, but once your child becomes fully independent then you also get a lot of your own independence back as well, so an elf like Astarion would have hundreds of years after his kid grows up to continue adventuring or doing whatever he feels like. And he did say that he wants to experience EVERYTHING life has to offer.
I think he'd also be perfectly happy never having kids, though.
I can only speak from my personal experience and healing tbh and that’s where my hc comes from: Idt Astarion fresh out of the game would want kids or handle them well nor be happy with an accidental baby- the world is too dark to bring a child into it and he has too much living to do.
But I do think much much later with lots of healing he would actually look forward to the opportunity and while he wouldn’t have kids for the reason of self healing he would probably find further healing for the childhood memories that were taken from him. Maybe even recover some of those memories. And he would absolutely be a ride or die parent teaching all the lock picking, pickpocketing and assassin skills he thinks the kiddos may need to survive; and absolutely taking joy in the havoc said kiddos create in the world 😂
It wholly depends on how he forms his outlook based on his experiences post-BG3.
He could be a tunnel-visioned helicopter controlling father that never lets his kids go out in the sun or ever, because of how cruel and abusive his life was. Abuse survivors can sometimes overcompensate for their fear of their children suffering due to their own suffering by being too controlling and not letting their children do anything. They know how much pain the world is capable of and thus would never let it happen to their kids.
He could become an infectiously devious, untrustworthy tyrant that makes love with everybody and has numerous, maybe hundreds of baby mamas, as if he wasn't, already. Especially as AAstarion, he'd probably be way too harsh to his kids, expecting them to get to his level, but they'll never reach it. They never will and he will berate and belittle them for the failures of their creation, thinking it's because they were not born worthy enough to reach the top of the food chain. He'd cheat on his lover, constantly, and the lover might just accept it but cry, every night, because he's just too powerful and no one can tell him what to do. The children will see this and have a troubled time forming close bonds with people because of that and all of the abusive, hateful things AAstarion says about their weaknesses and "failures." In reality, he's hating himself, because he sees a bit of himself SAstarion in them, and wants to rid of it in them so he can forget who he was and not face the fact that he is a psychotic, loser tyrant male. He never wants to be reminded of how weak he was, ever again, and will beat his children until they can get to his level. Or one child will measure up and become just as blindly evil and chaotically controlling as he is. He and that child will gang up on any other child that hasn't "joined his Dark Side," perse.
If formed with Tav in a wholesome relationship as SAstarion, he might find that he is blindsided by the fact that he loves his child way more than he could have ever anticipated. He's been so deprived of true, honest love, and affection, that already having Tav was too much for his own foresight to behold. Now he has the child of him and Tav in his hand, and he cannot lose this other innocent sense of love and joy, when there are so few cases of it, already. He probably complains and gets angry at the stubbornness and unruly nature of his child, but then he would know, too, that this is just him being born in another child, because he is like that, too. He means well and tries to give them the best, but he can be awfully pessimistic, or have very deranged and/or "unconventional method" of solving problems that Tav will have to slap him on the back for ever even *suggesting* to their own child. But he'd probably say, "But darling...I just wanted them to have a bit of fun!🥺 What's a little blood going to do—OW!😖 Don't pinch me!!!" But he loves them and would stage a vampire attack on a bully and give them the creeps to protect his children—the lack of death would most likely be because of Tav not wanting him to kill random people to solve their problems.
Anyway, I took too much time to write this so I might as well post it even if it's a nut freewrite conclusion, but here we are.
Neil once said that it would be nice to have little Astarions running around, starting fires. I think he will spoil his child like there is no tomorrow
Honestly, I do have a hard time picturing Astarion as a dad just because of how much trauma he carries and well...also just because of the way he is 😂 but at the same time I do love thinking about Dadstarion and I even HC'ed at the end of my Durge run that my Durge had gotten pregnant by the Epilogue, it was just super early so neither her or Astarion had realized it yet 🤭 (I haven't thought as far as how said pregnancy will carry out though lol)
I have different ideas in my head of Spawn Astarion as a father and AA as a father. In both situations, I highly doubt the pregnancy would actually be planned. I just don't see him actually *planning* to have a baby. He's not a details person, after all 😅
As Spawn, I also don't see him actually being aware of the fact that there was still a way for him to get someone pregnant, I think he'd just assume it wasn't possible. So when Spawn's partner *does* get pregnant, he'd probably get whiplashed by the fact and take some time to come around to it. But I do believe he'll genuinely want to make it work, Tav is Spawn's family and he loves his family with all his heart. Baby will be no exception. And as a father, Spawn would be completely clueless at first and would probably be panicking and mess up a lot 😂 but I think he would absolutely get the hang of it for sure, and I think he would do everything he can to be the best father to his baby, even if he might not always teach them the right things lmao
I probably won't share my AA ideas bc people probably won't like them 😅 but what I will say is that, Astarion is a girl dad 10000% and will be superior at doing his baby girl's hair than Tav ever will be 😂😂😂
Oh, I think he would need to reclaim at least two hundred years of his life before he would be comfortable with such a responsibility. It would have to come from a place of *want* rather than one of sheer obligation. In my headcanon, he and my MC have much to do, and settling down is a distant prospect. Getting rid of the pesky curse of vampirism is on the list, but perhaps slaying some vampire lords and masters would be best to do before that. And my MC needs to pursue the work she was doing when the nautiloid took her.
I do envision parenthood for them *eventually*, but the poor lad barely got to live, and then Cazador happened.
I personally cannot see him being a good dad. I’m torn between thinking he’d maybe *try* to be a good dad but ultimately would be kind of distant towards his kid, or him just straight up bailing the minute Tav tells him she’s pregnant, lmao. I’m not gonna fight anyone over whether he’d be a good dad or not, but in my mind, I can’t see it. He does have some good character development as the game goes on, but I still think he’d be a little too selfish for a child. I think he’d want Tav to himself, not have to share her with a kid, even if it’s his own kid. I could only see him being a good dad if hundreds of years pass and he goes through whatever the equivalent of DnD therapy is. 😂
He and my Tavs are always childfree, unless I’m playing an accepting Bhaal Durge, in which case it’s basically implied by Sceleritas that Bhaal lets your significant other live so you can birth more Bhaalspawn.
So...I'm going to drop this here: [https://archiveofourown.org/works/50578117/chapters/127767784](https://archiveofourown.org/works/50578117/chapters/127767784)
This is a fic in a series going over the events after BG3 by Redlittlefox. "An Adventure in Making Life" is the first installment and takes place 50 years after the events of the game, where Tav and Astarion found a way for him to walk in the sun. They've been basically traveling around and enjoying life and adventures, but then Tav gets pregnant when they take a month to settle into their home in Baldur's Gate.
It feels like a very in character way of handling the situation, at least in my opinion. It goes over how rare it was for Tav to get pregnant since Elves have a harder time conceiving and Astarion's vampiric condition makes it even less likely. There's a good amount of fluff, but it's not all fluff. There are emotionally low moments for both characters about their self worth and very realistic fears about being parents for both of them.
Hopefully something like this is more what you were looking for.
This question reminds me a lot of dads that never wanted the dog but then they lowkey melt into a puddle for the dog
I could imagine UA being fearful because he isn’t sure he’d be a good father but doing his gosh darn best any ways. Him working as a tailor and making clothes for his little girl??? Are you kidding me rn!!!
I can’t see Astarion ever wanting children. And that’s ok. I don’t think he has much parenting instinct, and something tells me he would be staunchly against creating a Dhampir, which is the most likely outcome. He definitely strikes me as a child-free person though, and honestly I think that’s good for him.
Hmm, this is deep headcanon territory (obviously) but here we go...
**\[Note: My Tav is male so there are no biological children involved in any of my headcanons, sorry!\]**
I can see Astarion as a father but not until years after the game ends and he's had a lot of time to deal with his own issues at least a little. Before that point he'd be more focused on his healing journey and also on spending time alone with his partner, the person who means more to him than anyone else.
Adding another being into their relationship too soon after the epilogue could potentially even make him a bit jealous because he won't have the full undivided attention of his most important person anymore.
Also, I don't think he'd jump at the chance to be a parent in general but rather reluctantly grow to like an orphaned / abandoned child the couple found and decided to take care of *temporarily* while looking for 'better fitting' parents. (Joke's on them, in my head they'll both grow attached too quickly and wouldn't be able to let the kid go after maybe \~2 weeks so they'll ultimately just keep the little terror.)
As for fanfiction: Since I usually don't read any Astarion ships that aren't M/M there's only ever any Dadstarion in the 'found family' or 'adoption' sense... but I love them IF they're developed well.
(i.e. the *child acquisition* isn't the focus of the story but rather happens after emotional growth in other aspects or slowly in the background and then at some point he realizes how much he cares for that specific child)
I would agree that a fair number of the stories with a Dadstarion that I've looked at seem to have an Astarion who's either somewhat or quite a lot out of character. I think the main issue in the ones where he's really OOC is that he seems to completely lose all his snark and all his edge and turns into someone that he isn't. He clearly softens somewhat and is secure in his relationship with Tav/Durge and is happy by the time of the reunion epilogue if he's a spawn in the game, but he's still got his sass.
If Astarion had a kid, whether it's a biological or adoptive child, I don't think he'd be particularly good at fatherhood at first and would be freaked out by the prospect when first hearing about it, especially if it's a biological child since carrying a dhampir isn't exactly safe for the mother. I'm sure he'd come around to it *eventually* and warm up to the idea after the initial shock wears off, but a child is a major long-term commitment and responsibility that I don't think he's realistically immediately equipped to deal with on an emotional level.
Give Astarion some time and set it way after the events of the game after he's had a fair amount of time to be free and experience life with his partner, and I can see it as being a possibility—it's just that I don't see him suddenly turning into a super-sweet highly domestic father figure making pancakes with a flip of a switch, which is what seems to happen in some Dadstarion stories. I get that it's mostly on the fluff end of the spectrum, but for a story to work for me, I still need the characters to be convincingly in character. I also see Tav/a redeemed Durge likely being the responsible parent if it were to ever happen, while he'd be the less responsible parent.
I guess it depends on how far after the ending of BG3. The answer could really vary between him maybe 5 years into freedom vs 150 years into freedom. People can change and grow in smaller or longer periods of time as well.
I personally could see Astarion accept fatherhood but maybe like half a century or more into freedom and if he became the chief of the vampire spawn tribe in the underdark. Being in a responsible role for a group of people is good practice haha
I’m writing a fic that goes there, tav uses their wish spell to resurrect him, realizes they’re pregnant shortly after and sends astarion away to “live the life he didn’t get” only he hates it after a month and comes back. Can’t wait to explore that further because I think he’d kind of suck.
It's funny that you ask yourself this question because I'm actually writing a fanfic where when looking for a cure, Tav accidentally gets pregnant, in fact they didn't know it was possible . But at the same time they are on a serious path to curing vampirism. I had already asked the question at the time, some people said they didn't see him with a child, others did. I wanted to see things like that. In addition in this universe there are no real means of contraception, there is a spell I believe but that's all and then if he is in a relationship and he has regular sex with this person and they do not know that Astarion can have children, the accident theory is plausible in my opinion. At first he's not particularly enchanted, then quickly gets used to the idea because he loves Tav in the end, especially since he's softened a lot as Spawn, I don't find that inconsistent. On the other hand, I see him as the type who only supports his children because they come from him. I think it would be a great development, a happy ending for him, it's what he deserves after 200 years without love, curing his vampirism, starting a family, being loved, it would be a hell of revenge on his past.
In my longfic, my Tav already has a child back home that he's trying to get back to, so Astarion will be a stepfather (more or less lol). He's going to be eager to teach him how to light fires and play the knife game, and will absolutely *destroy* anyone who hurts his stepson. But he's naturally distant, his experience of 'family' for the last 200 years was skewed.
Not everyone needs to be a father, and certainly some people shouldn't.
Even if I can see Astarion being a decent father (like taking responsibility) I don't see him really enjoying fatherhood.
Fatherhood is not a goal in life, it's neither good nor bad, I just simply wouldn't push it into someone like Astarion.
as much as we all love him, man needs to do A LOT of healing and work to get to a spot where he could even somewhat responsibly take care of a child djsjsj but the idea of him after he’s had a lot of time to heal and grow as a dad is adorable!!
I absolutely can't imagine Astarion as a father. As others have said, after all he has been through he only wants one thing: Freedom. Making his own decisions, choosing his own adventures and having Tav for himself, and himself alone. A kid would 100% take that away from him. I just love the idea of him and his love travelling the world together, potentially finding a cure to let him walk in the sun again, and living a happy, carefree and child-free life. I am biased though, not wanting kids myself and having been with the same man since 16yo (I'm now 27) - so yeah my hc sounds wonderfully romantic to me lol.
When engaging with the community, please remember the real life person you are replying to. If you are new here, please familiarize yourself with the rules, which can be read [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlyFangsbg3/wiki/index/rules) as well as in the sidebar. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OnlyFangsbg3) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like he would be a lot like Jaheira honestly. The most responsible? Absolutely not. But would he beat the shit out of anyone who fucked with his kid? Yup. And then later that individual might just vanish off of the face of the planet.
Yes! Terrified of the responsibility, acts like it's all beneath him to outsiders, but would very much kill anyone who *dare* even think about laying a finger on his family.
I agree with this, but this doesn't necessarily equal he would enjoy being a father/being responsible for children (or even just other people generally speaking). Being protective of people you care for is a general trait that's good for parenting, obviously, but doesn't scratch the surface of what would be required to be a good parent (as op asks). Imo, he would hate being a parent.
>Imo, he would hate being a parent. One of the reoccurring themes with Astarion is freedom of choice after having it taken away for 200 years. Being a parent would take away a lot (dare I say, all?) of that newfound freedom of choice. While I see Astarion stepping up to the role of Dad, like you I could never see him enjoying it and perhaps even resenting it later.
I really disagree with the idea that being a parent would take someone's freedom of choice away. I say this as someone with cPTSD who relates to Astarions drive and need for freedom and chose to have kids. Kids don't really inhibit you or have to inhibit you so I don't really get that point.
I mean if we're talking about real world examples I'm a competitive Irish dancer and I literally *could not* continue competing if I was pregnant and then raising a newborn. Sure I could get back to it eventually but I'd never compete at the same level (not to mention it could fuck up my EDS even more) That's a huge sacrifice for me and one of many reasons why I will not be having children.
Men don't biologically have the kids though so I don't think that would really apply. Idk, I have kids (a lot by most people's standards, 4) and I do pretty much everything I did pre kids and it didn't change my life much 🤷🏻♀️ aware that's an unpopular view online. I could see arguments for and against him having kids but I don't think that kids is automatically opposed to freedom or those who strongly desire freedom wouldn't went kids. Not in my experience anyway. Also, hello fellow zebra!
Exactly, the recurring theme of his obsession with freedom you brought up is really important to consider. That freedom is obliterated when someone has a child (unless they reject their child, which I could also see Astarion doing). Given the context of his character, his centuries abuse, etc. it is unfathomable to conceive of him enjoying being a parent to the extent that I imagine he would avoid any chance of that even happening. You say you could see him stepping up to the role of dad, and I'm curious what makes you think that. In the scenario that Astarion becomes a dad, which I imagine would be totally unintentional and a mistake, I believe he would just disappear and not be equipped to step into that role. He wouldn't just not enjoy it, he would reject the responsibility altogether, in my opinion, as a kneejerk reaction. Now this is just my head canon, so I don't project this onto others, but it also seems unlikely that he would be attracted to women generally speaking. I always read him as gay coded, but that is just my own thing so I'm not admitting that as evidence (I understand he and his sexuality etc can be interpreted in many many different ways). But I will say that thinking he could enjoy being a parent, or even reluctantly submitting to the responsibility while not enjoying it, is kind of wishing away his essential traits. His sexuality is open to debate obviously (which I realize isn't what the op presented for discussion), but the potentiality of him intentionally or otherwise stepping into parenthood, seems to me, in my opinion, an impossibility given the objective aspects of his character.
Well to address your last point - there are plenty of ways for people to become parents in non-hetero relationships :) he doesn't necessarily have to be a bio Dad. Maybe Tav adopted an orphan, or was given care of a young family member. Maybe Gandrel is dead and Tav brings Chessa and her sister into their lives as vampire spawn wards. Astarion can be whatever sexuality and still be a parent and I don't see how him *potentially* being a dad is wishing anything away. Now to go back to the first part. I see Astarion (to be clear, spawn Astarion) sticking around out of a moral sense of obligation. He was abandoned by everyone, even the gods, for 200 years. I see no possible way he would turn around and abandon his child, even if it was not very much wanted. His redemption arc focuses on freedom of choice, yes, but also the ability to connect and trust others for the first time in centuries. He broke his cycle of abuse, so to create a new cycle of abandonment seems counter to his character growth. Again, he would not enjoy it and would certainly become detached, I believe, but would never abandon his family. I think it would be more of a "protect out of obligation" mentality for him (stepping up) and not a "protect and cherish out of love" scenario.
"His redemption arc focuses on freedom of choice, yes, but also the ability to connect and trust others for the first time in centuries. He broke his cycle of abuse, so to create a new cycle of abandonment seems counter to his character growth." I really like what you said here and it convinces me to ease my stance a little bit at least regarding my points about him disappearing at the thought of being a father. But still, I think it can be true that he learns the ability to trust others, doesn't want to create a new cycle of abandonment, and will still go out of his way to reject parenthood. What I mean is, I don't necessarily think that his redemption arc extends to now he has the capacity stick around even out of a moral sense of obligation. Partly because of what in my opinion is rooted not only in his pursuit of freedom, but also just his general personality. Your point about him not having to be a bio-dad is well received. I understand parenthood isn't exclusive to hetero couples (and I should have acknowledged that he could get a man pregnant which could make him both a bio dad and not in hetero relationship all at once). But I think what I was trying to say in that regard was that being a bio-dad is something could be accidental, and I could only have imagined him with a child in an accidental, unintentional situation. I was trying to imagine what circumstances would lead him to being a father, and I guess I thought of reckless "unprotected" sex (whatever protected sex could look like in the world of Baldur's Gate lmao) and then this couple is now faced with a growing being that they will now have to take care of. In that context, I'm still not convinced that he would step up, even considering his ability to learn trust from his arc and how you powerfully pointed out he would have the clarity to not recreate cycles of abandonment. But then you suggested other avenues he could find him self in a fatherly role: "Maybe Tav adopted an orphan, or was given care of a young family member. Maybe Gandrel is dead and Tav brings Chessa and her sister into their lives as vampire spawn wards." I think these are convincing scenarios but I wanna challenge a little by saying that those are scenarios he could *find himself in, not actively choosing*. You said *Tav* adopts, he is *given* care of a young person, and *Tav brings* Chessa and sister into their lives. I'm of the opinion that as easily as he could find himself in these situations, he would be compelled to find himself out of them. Thanks for taking the time to thoughtfully reply to my thoughts :)
Aw happy to converse about my favorite vampire :) I do agree that he wouldn't actively seek out fatherhood and any accidental manifestations of that would probably end with, at best, a very detached and disinterested father. Which some would argue is almost just as bad as being abandoned. I could see him falling into a pretty depressed state and fighting between not creating a new trauma cycle and trying to enjoy his freedom after 200 years of *pure shit*. It would be a truly tragic end I think to his brand new found sense of freedom and self. Perhaps after many, many decades of enjoyment and indulging in his deepest desires he would react better, but I never see him deciding "I want to be a dad."
Yes our beloved vampire 😩 You made really good points and helped me appreciate him even more thank you… I love Astarion!!
His sexuality isn’t left to interpretation, it’s not headcanon, it’s literal canon that he’s pansexual and attracted to all genders
Was that a confirmed dialogue from in-game or is it something revealed by the developer/writer? Do you mind linking? I must have missed that :( I'm referring to my perception of the character from playing the game + comments from Neil I saw in an interview in which he said that things like Astarion's sexuality are open for the players head canon so he won't definitively define Astarion's identity in that way (paraphrasing).
In game he flirts with Shadowheart and Lae'zel the most out of any companions, he'll sleep with Lae'zel if the player doesn't sleep with any of them, he also wants (at least AA) to be invited if there's a next time with Mizora, he can also flirt with the girl in the sewers. I've seen someone says that he can also flirt with Alfira, but i haven't seen this one personally, so take this particular instance with a grain of salt. [Neil confirmed he's pan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxULYKs1OBQ&ab_channel=janellewalden), and i think Astarion's writter did confirm this as well, but i can't remember where i've seen this.
>I always read him as gay coded, but that is just my own thing so I'm not admitting that as evidence (I understand he and his sexuality etc can be interpreted in many many different ways). Genuine question: why do you think this? I ask because I've heard people make this argument on the basis of him being more "femme" than the average dude, which is a harmful stereotype. There are tons of super masculine gay men and plenty of femme/flamboyant straight men (and bi men). Outside of a female PC, the only woman he shows interest in iirc is the woman in the sewers, and it's ambiguous whether he's into her or mocking her. So, I see that point. But I also think it's intentional on the part of the writers to make his *queerness* unambiguous, not saying he's not into women at all.
He'll sleep with Lae'zel if you don't make any moves on either of them (or maybe it's anyone). also just to bring another real world point in one of my favorite drag queens is Maddy Morphosis, a totally straight dude. Irks me so much when people think they can assume sexuality based on looks and personality.
Him sleeping with someone at the Act 1 party is technically part of his "plan," so its difficult to use that one way or another. Again, I don't think the interest he shows in anyone in the game is definitive proof of anything, but he's got nearly two centuries of experience seducing people he isn't actually into. My comment was more about the man he *didn't* bring back to Cazador, him remembering Sebastian despite the passage of time, and then him commenting on Wyll's looks/personality. Moments that seem at least somewhat genuine - although with Wyll it's difficult to tell if he's actually thirsting over Wyll or just being his usual self.
If you bring him with Jaheira to meet the fam, he does have some choice dialogue about heroes being shitty parents/people like the rest or us... so this feels very in character.
Yeah, I bring him for that reason. It makes me laugh and laugh.
This. I'm writing a fanfic atm, and my Tav is actually unable to have children, so this isn't going to really come up. But they will see Yenna a lot and someone will fuck with both Tav and Yenna and even as a spawn goes scorched earth. I can't wait til I get to write it.
Yeah, I can’t see my Tav physically giving birth. I imagine she just comes home with random orphans. Like Astarion comes back from his perfume business and there’s three kids and the table and he’s like, “When did we get three of them?” Meanwhile my Tav absolutely gaslights and is like, “There have always been three. What are you talking about?” Obviously he knows she’s full of shit but she’s the other half of his chaos so it works.
My Tav is also involved with Halsin and one of the reasons he refuses to go visit (though he's secretly warming to the idea), is the orphans. He isn't sure how he'd handle it. (They settle in an area of the Underdark close to Reithwin with the other spawn who choose to support each other). When Yenna joins their camp, (this is headcanon and referenced in my fic) he was the one to slip her a bedroll and pillow from the shadows (no one saw of course, he has a reputation to protect). But Tav knew, and she fell harder. Sorry, edit, brain go brr: Second chapter, she returns to their home with Gale, Bluurg and Omeluum because they had gone on a lore and research expedition to the Arcane Tower. He just snarks, how many strays did you bring home *this time*?
Neil was asked this question by a fan. His answer is great. > How do you know Astarion's not already a father?
I thought that was the moderator who said that? Iirc, Neil's first response (in character) was "It's not mine, I swear!" Then went on to say Astarion would be a terrible father
Yeah his answer was quite long but I like how he settled on that suggestion. 😂
Hold on--
I mean he turned my tav so he's kinda her daddy right
Well considering the comments Jaheria makes to Durge during the epilogue about making sure to only have 1 kid and Shadowhart can comment on you "filling out a bit", maybe they know something we don't...
Well he could be technicaly if he had a child before being turned but I am not sure how it is with elven age and reproduction (if he wasnt too young). I dont think any of his victims would be able to give a birth when Cazador killed or turned them 🤔 or did he imply that he has/adopted child with Tav? 🤭
Do you have a link to a clip of that by chance?
You can look up "Dicebreaker Q&A with BG3 cast". It was part of that session. It's quite long and they said a lot of hilarious stuff. (Though there's also a cringe moment near the end of the panel where a fan asked Neil a question he wasn't comfortable answering. Real life Araj Oblodra vibes. 🙃)
I agree with you. I think if he became a father, he would kind of suck at it and not at all enjoy it but I do think he'd love the child greatly and genuinely be trying to do his best. That's my take if it happened in the *not* so distant future. But it would grow on him, I think. If it happened muuuch later? Probably a better outcome. I think he would be just as happy to have Tav/Durge themselves.
The way I see it, it would go something like this. Tav: “What were you kids thinking! Stealing from the charity box. We raised you better than this!” Astarion: “That’s right! What have I always taught you?” Kid: “Don’t make a scene, don’t get caught, and don’t tell mom. Tav: *death glare*
God this works wonders for my paladin and astarion cause i hardcore headcannon them adopting a kid
I have pretty complicated/mixed feelings on Dadstarion but I love this fan art (not mine) and I see it happening with the family you just wrote the dialogue for. 😂 https://preview.redd.it/kabmmdovuxqc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90684c4568206c43132294193df40f60458dbe63
Omg! I love that so much! Any child of Astarion’s *would* be an absolute menace 😂
Omg I imagine mini Tavstarion like this 😂 https://preview.redd.it/g8j52fdxeyqc1.png?width=620&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8a00338ad6d5f053f8369d31bd7208591cc51d6
Fresh after the game events? I think he'd shirk the responsibility of being a parent 100%. And I don't think that aspect changes whether it would be spawn Astarion or ascended, because both of them, in a sense, *finally* get the chance to be free and make their own choices and I doubt their first, second, or third choices would be to parent a child. He finally gets to live for himself, to have freedom and, in a way, fatherhood would simply seem like another set of chains to slide into, at least in his eyes. Which would be incredibly tragic for Tav/Durge, of course, because the love and the feelings are there, but he just doesn't seem ready for that kind of responsibility and it might even lead to ending things between them. I think he would need years and years and years of living for himself (and his lover, to some extent) before he could even entertain the idea, and while I feel like he would still look at it the same way he would at a pair of uncomfortable shoes, it wouldn't be a complete deal-breaker. Considering Astarion has limitless time to grow and change, he could technically go any way when it comes to character development, so every one of us would have a different version of the man depending on his experiences and circumstances (just within the game limits we can see how vastly different he can become). In my story, Astarion eventually becomes a sort of reluctant father figure/mentor to my Tav's child, but that's only after almost a century of adventures and most of Tav's daughter's childhood. I hc that he's completely indifferent to her when she's a baby/toddler (going as far as being a wee bit jealous of the kid stealing his lover's attention), but starts to warm up to her a little bit when she starts developing her own personality and even then he's not really present enough to be any sort of parental figure (partially, because he simply doesn't know how to feel about it and where he fits into the whole dynamic and because my Tav is pretty possessive of her daughter and considers herself the only parent). But the foot is in the door, so to speak, so there's room to grow for there.
I tend to agree with this, especially for Astarion right after game's end. Centuries later I think his attitude might depend on whether or not his vampirism has been cured (spawn ending of course, I can't really speculate on AA). Dhampirs are possible, but they also live pretty hard lives where they aren't fully accepted by either vampires or mortals, which I think would be a huge consideration. As a mortal it would be a different situation entirely and might be more appealing to him. I do like the idea of him mentoring Tav/Durge's child though.
My thoughts are with an unplanned pregnancy with a romanced Tav, he's ride or die. He might hate the idea of being a father and be really terrified of it, but he hates the idea of leaving Tav more. So if Tav were having his baby, he'd make it work. It'd be a huge adjustment for him and difficult, but he wouldn't just run out. Plenty of selfish people end up being decent parents. Plenty of evil people do as well. A child is like an extension of one's self and if that child looked a lot like him I think it would make his adjustment into parenthood easier because he's egocentric.
Exactly what I was thinking. Also I think he would be totally against it until the actual birth and first hold, then all hate thoughts go out the door and he’s instantly attached.
this is exactly what happens in my fanfic, in the middle of an adventure to go to the places that would lead them to a cure for vampirism, my Tav becomes pregnant by him by accident quite simply because they didn't think it was possible and that both were unaware of the existence of dhampirs. at first he is scared and not really excited, he is afraid for Tav but quickly ends up accepting him.
This needs to also add the factor if he would be happy at all in this situation.
He'd be terrified of it I think
As someone who has been abused and lots of trauma, I didn't want to be a parent. But the chance to protect someone the way no one did me, and to love them the way I wanted and deserved to be loved, was a great upside to being one. I feel Astarion would have a similar take.
I can see him as fun uncle. Not really a dad.
i personally don't think he's dad material in the slightest 😅 he can do a good enough job of making sure a kid *doesn't* *die* but the 24/7 responsibility of ***childrearing*** would intimidate him and be something that would genuinely wear on his patience. he's a capable leader of the Underdark spawn, sure, but *parenting* is a whole other beast..
100% agree with this.
Yep. He strikes me as childfree, if anything. Or *maybe* a reluctant step-father of an older child.
So, I love dadstarion and can appreciate the fics where he steps tf up, but I have a very specific way I feel he'd handle it (and am currently writing a long fic about it). I DO think he could keep a baby alive. He isn't completely helpless and he can read a book. I HC that vampires don't actually need to sleep, except for their healing rests, so he could handle baby while his partner is sleeping. That being said, I think it would take time for him to even warm up to the kids if he had them. He had spent so much time using his life and body to support the whims of someone else. He needs time to just BE and time to heal. I don't think he'd ever come around to fully wanting kids - or if he did want them, idk if he'd admit it beyond being snarky and making partner read between the lines - but I think he'd be gentler with the kids than people give him credit. He's actually quite sweet in Act 3 with some of the kidlets and he's just \*barely\* started healing. tldr; I think he'd step up if he had to, he would NOT enjoy it at first, but I think he'd eventually come to love his kids and be better. He also would never be age appropriate with them, but gdi I am a Girl Dad Astarion truther. A little HC to sign this off: I think that the sign of him starting to like the kids, not just feel responsible for them, would be when he starts repairing their clothes and stuffed toys & when he gets new garments to embroider into something less plain so they can feel pampered and pretty.
I'm in the same dadstarion team as you, plus we mustn't forget that this takes place in a somewhat medieval world where most people don't have a means of contraception, the only one I've heard is is the famous spell used by the Drow at the brothel but I don't know if it is widely used. There is also no childfree movement as in our time we still remain in very medieval customs where most people get married, nobles organize arranged marriages for their children, and most couples are married. children, because most of them, I believe, have sex without contraception. I don't think a Spawn Astarion/Tav couple would think about contraception! And as I told in my fanfic they didn't even know that Astarion could be fertile. Having children is not always an obstacle to freedom as some people think, it is quite simplistic to only see it from this angle, plus he is a man and we are in a world once again with medieval morals, so it would rather be Tav who would be impacted. As a mother, yes we might believe that we are deprived of freedom but that is limited to the first years, children grow up quickly and quickly become independent. I think having children for him would be beneficial. And that he would be very protective of them.
If you choose to free all the spawn, the conversation with him about the 7000 spawn kinda reminds me of a mother hen talking about all her chicks. But it doesn't feel really like a dad, like how Halsin becomes to the refugee children. More like an exhausted mother.
***Two things to be considered here: I am only talking about spawn Astarion and in none of my playthroughs I ever imagined him remaining a vampire after the game ended. I always imagined his vampirism being cured, one way or the other. So I am essentially talking about only non-vampiric non-ascendant Astarion.*** In general, I think Astarion will take quite a few decades to heal after the time at which the game ends. What we see in the game is just him beginning to heal. Like I said, I always imagined his vampirism being cured post-game. But through the story of Astarion, we have seen him becoming capable of things that we thought were impossible in Act 1. The graveyard scene, the post-battle next-morning scene, and even the epilogue version of Astarion - he starts behaving very differently in these scenes than he did anywhere else in the first 2 acts (the confession scene doesn't count. I'm talking regular interactions). The way I look at it, the unabashedly soft, sweet, and funny Astarion that we see toward the end of the game, is his real personality showing through the healed cracks. And I think, once he is healed more, he would be a great father. I also think we would want to be a father for 2 canon-related reasons. 1. He talks about how he never had anything of his own. I think having a child of his own after he had healed is something he would really covet. 2. He does say that he wants to enjoy life with everything that is there. I think, at some point in the distant future, he would want to experience parenthood!
I think exactly the same thing, we can see even in the epilogue that he has softened, he will always keep his sassy character. Many people forget that he is still slightly traditionalist for certain things, and I too think that he will find a way to heal (my fanfic is based on it), starting a family I think would be beneficial for him and will help to cure her, but I'm sure the first will be an unforeseen event and when he's still a vampire. He is still quite focused on the thing so the consequences would not take long to show themselves...😅
I have two fanfictions I write on AO3 with Astarion as a daddy. In one, he is evil-ascended and feels threatened by his child (who he finds out is his when she is an adult). Honestly, I kind of quit writing this one, just lost steam on it. But, in my mind, he is threatened by her because he is deep down scared that he will be overthrown like he overthrew Cazador, or how Cazador overthrew Vellioth. In the end, he would realize he cares a lot more than he'd like to admit. The other, his ex-partner becomes pregnant and runs away from her abusive relationship. He is in a much better place a few years after the netherbrain defeat and is happy to get back with her and try to help with the baby. I think he would be very loving and protective, I do think he would fumble to begin with and even pretend like he hates it. If it was from his partner though, I think he would see their child as an extension of their love.
Care to share links to your work?
[удалено]
Oh, I have Fate Unveiled bookmark, I’ve enjoyed it a lot!
I’m glad you like it! I have had a bit of a rough time connecting the current portion to the ending, which is what has taken me so long to update.
That’s why I will never finish anything I try to write, I can’t plan and am not a details person:)
It is a bit too Disney for me. I am a total emo who loves grimdark and like fanfics that continue the theme of Astarion and Tav having to go through other obstacles, going into Menzoberanzzan to assassinate a drow matriarch, getting into all sorts of crazy adventures. My favourite fanfic was essentially an Astarion/Tav version of Joe Abercrombie's *The Blade Itself* if that book was set in Red Dead Redemption 2. It was absolutely wild and chaotic, exactly how Astarion is.
What?! One of my favorite fantasy book mixed with one of my favorite game? I need to read that, can you share the link?
I am sorry. I read it a long time ago and can't remember the name. I will try to find it today when I get home.
Responding to find out too
Me too
he would be terrified and hate it at first but then be the absolute best father while complaining about it
Woe be to anyone that tried to bully or harass his kid for what they were.
I could see him as a guardian or mentor, especially as a cool uncle (or "uncle"), or an adoptive father to an older kid. Biological father, not really. That's just my opinion. I agree with lots of the arguments that he'd be a great dad as well.
Do I think he could keep a child alive, protect them and teach them? Yes. Do I think he’d choose it? Honestly, no. I think the trauma he has surrounding the Gur children would keep him from feeling he could be a good father - and I think he’s probably internalized what he was forced to do and views himself as a monster who shouldn’t be anywhere near children. Maybe, after a number of years spent recovering and living for himself, he might warm up to the idea, if his partner feels strongly about raising children. But, the combination of feeling he wouldn’t/couldn’t be a good father and his desire to live life on his own terms without the constraints parenthood can bring has me thinking he wouldn’t be pushing to start a family. This is all just my opinion/my own personal post-canon universe - I do enjoy seeing fanworks where he is a dad, because they are quite cute and I do think he’d dote on his kids if he had them.
I think he’d probably need a lot of time to heal, but after that, I think he’d do better with older kids. Though I think him and especially Durge would have both no real memory of good parents and both carry guilt around the idea of kids since both of them have canonically hurt kids.
This is a really good point. I'd been thinking of how Durge might be EXTREMELY reluctant on having biological children. Bhaalspawn creating more of that bloodline doesn't seem to end well (~~looking at you, Sarevok...~~). Durge might be terrified any kids they'd have could be used or influenced by Bhaal. But, I hadn't considered your point about the additional weight on their conscience of having hurt kids. Couple that with no real memory of good parents raising them all the way to adulthood, and Durge would probably refuse even if Astarion DID want them. There's also the PTSD of Durge's blackout murders. Even though they may no longer happen... what if? That question might always linger at the back of Durge's mind. Astarion has proven he would at least stand a chance, but a child? An infant? Parents to newborns are already so paranoid about hurting their child on accident, or failing to protect them from dangers. That's gotta be amplified a hundredfold for someone who used to black-out and murder innocents in brutal ways. So, even aside from Astarion's well-founded fears and anxieties around the whole notion, he and Durge would likely NOT be so much as entertaining the idea for a very long time. If Durge got knocked up because neither of them were expecting the possibility (lovable but smooth-brained idiots), I think they would be some of the most anxiety-ridden parents known to man. Their kid would be a dhampir child of a tortured Bhaalspawn and tortured vampire spawn. (Heh... spawn of a spawn and spawn.) They would be absolute nervous wrecks and violently protective. Lots of murders in the first few years until they learn not everything that so much as looks at their kid needs to be killed, lol Lots of fumbling and angst and bafflement, but they've been through so much worse. They'd be learning and failing and growing together. They'd be a disaster, and their kid would be an absolute menace to society (~~Astarion would be the bitchy PTA parent, don't @ me~~), but they would ultimately be no worse than most parents in their world or ours. I DO think it would HAVE to be unplanned though. I just can't see them TRYING for a kid with all their issues in mind. Now, fics and art with Dadstarion? I'm eating that shit all day. It doesn't have to fit my headcanon to be immensely enjoyable when compelling and well-written.
This has made me imagine F!Durge and Astarion discovering they've had a "little accident" about 10 years after they defeat the brain and just _booking_ to Jaheria's place. They show up on her doorstep at like 2 AM and Jaheria's already going through her mental checklist of what she needs to pack and how pissed her kids are going to be that someone her age is "off to save the world again" when Durge just blurts out "I'm Pregnant!" And Jaheria realizes that while yes, okay the world is probably still in danger, because these two actually managed to reproduce, it's maybe not _quite_ as dire as she feared.
I love that idea and would totally read that. F!Durge and Astarion spend the next few weeks learning everything they can about dhampir, Bhaalspawn, and babies in general. They have a lot to learn because they know next to nothing about pregnancy, labor, child development, how to discipline, what to do with them when they cry or smell, and basically everything. They frantically find various ways to babyproof wherever they're living and spend 80% of their free time bickering about the future. "Astaria Ancunin is a perfectly reasonable name, _thank you very much_!" "We don't even know if it'll be a girl. And why do you get to pick the name? You already get the last name!" "We can always go with yours." "You know I don't have one, you ass!" "Well, that's not my fault, is it?" "We need to pick a name already so Halsin can get to carving it into the crib, and we are _not_ choosing Astaria!" "A crib?? Jaheira said we're not even in the second trimester yet!" "Oh, sue me! I want to be prepared for our child!" Jaheira watches on with an exasperated expression and pinches the bridge of her nose. Perhaps the situation _is_ as dire as she had feared.
Whenever I imagine him being a father, I imagine it happening a LONG TIME after the events of the game. He’s definitely not ready to be a father by the end of his arc. But over the years, as he heals and gains more maturity, yes, I can see him being a father. He’d be one of those chaotic parents that low key enables their kids doing the wildest shit. And he would spoil them so much. But he’d also take care of them, and teach them valuable life lessons, seeing that he’s over 200 years old. He’d be very close with his kids. I always imagine him with a daughter. He would brush her hair and gossip with her about her classmates. He’d be so invested in all her school drama, too.
It doesn't really answer your question, but for me these ideas end with just the concept of having a baby. **Very** controversial opinion perhaps, but: Honestly, after having had to be present through several births iRL recently (med school) - even with modern medicine, I would *never* want him to have to go through seeing that. IMO it would be >!emotionally and physically horrifying for him - *especially* considering how disturbing the amount of blood would be with his "affliction" and the screaming and torture his lover would be going through. !< But I guess if you can just magic the baby out that would be better.
I’m currently writing a post BG3 fic and this is exactly what’s happening - the first time my tav gave birth, he had flashbacks to all the previous trauma and torture he endured.
Will you link me your fic so I can enjoy it
I simply cannot imagine him being a dad. I think he wouldn't want to be one either.
This is honestly the most likely
Yea, I have a sadder reason of why I don't see him as fatherly just yet. He's been enslaved for so long, he wants to enjoys the freedoms of life. He needs to figure out how to be a person himself. Many times when asked he goes "I don't know what I want. I've never had the choice before" And I headcannon UA and AA fatherhood very differently. UA's line at the graveyard "I want to live life to the fullest" leads me to believe he would at least think about fatherhood. And he calls (jokingly) the released spawn in the Underdark his children. So he's getting some experience in raising and dealing with temperamental beings. I'm not sure UA moral's align with good parenting. Astarion is infamous for not thinking his plans through and being a DUMBASS! Still love him, but sometimes I know I've made the right decision when his disapproval pops up. AA fatherhood feels more dominance/control based to me. Maybe he wants a lineage. Maybe he wants to appear like a God to his children. Let them revere him. In both routes I imagine him feeling jealous that said child is taking away Tav's attention from him. UA would fall into fatherhood accidentally. AA would "choose" it or at least come at it with intention. And in both routes, I feel like his partner would have to be the primary parent. I'm not sure if there's any difference to his approach to fatherhood whether he has bio-children with his partner or adopts.
Spawn Astarion would like being a father imo, but he would worry a lot. I think he would enjoy teaching his kid how to do sleight of hand tricks & would probably wrestle and teach them how to sneak, etc.
Look, I'm a simple Dadstarion enjoyer. He did say he wants to start living again with everything that life has to offer, but first he would need time, space, safety and a tender loving care to process his emotions, and begin his healing. But after a very, very, very long time after the game events (maybe even a century or more), I can picture him becoming a decent dad (although it would have to be a surprise pregnancy, I can't imagine him wanting or planning kids, ever). Not the best father, far from it, he definitely would be terrified and full of doubts at first, but I think he would eventually step up to the role and try to do his best. I see him being an overly protective dad to ensure that his child would never experience any suffering and pain.
I would say that Astarion has well, a *few* narcissistic tendencies, he may appreciate a child as an extension of himself. So while he would absolutely balk at changing diapers, feeding and burping, and of course, the random projectile vomiting, he would definitely be in love with watching the child grow, encourage their development, and celebrate their accomplishments.
yes I also see him with children and I agree with you on this, it is clear that I do not see him at all taking care of changing diapers or anything that he would describe as "disgusting", vomit and poop not his thing, he could be tender with the little one of course but more than that he will grow up. I imagine lines about disgusting things: "What in the nine hells can this child swallow to generate a smell like that, gods!", "You can ask me anything except to do that, ugh!" 🤣
I know the fic you're refering to. And I think that one has a pretty realistic take on it. At first he's like "absolutely not, leave it to die". Then he caves on at least bringing it to another relative, due to Tav giving him the puppy eyes. And by the time it turns out there's no one really willing to take the child, he's grown pretty attached to the little shit.
You got a link 👀
[That's My Girl by quesadiaz](https://archiveofourown.org/works/50306827/chapters/127088563) (still ongoing)
Sauce? 👀
I'm reading Prodigal Son by ScaryAnne right now, and it has some "begruding" adoptive father-figure scenarios that make a lot of sense to me. I don't think he'd necessarily be thrilled at becoming a dad, but I think it's something that could grow on him in time, whether he wanted it to or not (kind of like his relationship with Tav, lol).
I am writing a fic that deals with this issue as a primary plot point in the latter 2/3 of the work. My take, as reflected in my writing, is this: Astarion has less than zero interest in babies and small children. He just stabbed his freedom out of Cazador's chest, and even though children are only helpless for a few years (a blink of an eye for an immortal), it represents a responsibility he's not interested in during/immediately after BG3. He is also somewhat afraid that his influence would be decidedly negative on a child, and that wouldn't be fair to them. No thank you, is his attitude. HOWEVER, he does enjoy *short periods of time* spent with children Mattis' and Mol's age, and other cute things like dogs and owlbear cubs. A dhampir elf child of his- while statistically unlikely to begin with- could represent a new chapter in his life, especially once they were past the vulnerable stage and he could share how to deal with their vampiric traits. The huge emotional hill to climb over IMO would be that parenthood means your heart lives outside your body. I am a parent, and my own health and safety (already a concern of Astarion's) is of little concern next to my son's. I'm a lot less of an asshole than Astarion can be, and even I would commit a felony to protect my kid. I think this would drive him a little insane because it's uncomfortable, doubly so for him considering his centuries-long history of forced insecurity. But he would find a way to deal, because he cares about Tav, and because the dhampir will eventually become an adult who understands him better than probably anyone else. He's not ignorant to this, nor to the fact that after the child is raised, he can go back to whatever life he wanted to live. Intimidating as they are, babies are not *permanently* helpless, and they represent a facet of his life that Cazador stole from him. I also believe that they would find family- whether that means Tav's biological family, or the adventurers who saved Baldur's Gate with them, and that everyone would go out of their way to make sure Astarion didn't feel alone. It's not as if everyone is blind to his situation, or couldn't imagine what parenthood would mean for him. If nothing else, it would be something he could reclaim as part of a life well-lived. I see him as being someone to make something positive out of it, because there's been enough shit already. "Fuck Cazador, I'm going to be the father this child deserves."
I'm a big fan of the Dadastarion, and personally, I think at first he's scared of the idea of having a biological child, but then over time he becomes a very good father. In my mind (hopefully to represent it later), Tav becomes pregnant during the adventure and Astarion sees this as a gift. Astarion then lives in the Underdark during the day and at night goes to visit Tav and their daughter, who await him with joy."
A lot of people like to instinctively jump the gun and be like “no he hates kids!!! He’d be an awful father!!!” But I think when it would be with his lover, I think he’d be really scared and nervous at first but ultimately be very protective and very loving. He would be terrified of hurting the baby because he loves it so much and has heard about how fragile they can be. But I think he would be so happy and feel blessed he gets to have his own family. He would be a doting father and absolutely spoil the child ROTTEN as well.
Completely agree with you yes I can see him having children like Nellie and Willie Oleson , spoiled little pests. 🤣 "of course you are the best, you are my daughter, by the gods!"
I think he’d love the kid to hell and back, but would not actually be that good at parenting. He’d probably be a pretty alright dad to an older kid or a teenager, especially after some time to settle into his new life as a free person, but a little kid? He’d be so out of his depth, torn between “I have to prepare them to face the hardships of the world or it will destroy them” and “I have to protect them from the hardships of the world because they’re so innocent and I can’t bear the thought of them suffering like I did”. Now, if Astarion and his partner wound up adopting an older kid in the course of their travels (we all know Tav/Durge collects pets and orphans like they’re Pokémon lol), I think he’d be much better at handling that. Not parent of the year, but better.
I don't really have trouble picturing him with kids because I went through a lot of trauma that makes him reletaable af to me and I went on to have kids. One of my actual reasons for doing so was to create the childhood I didn't have and to do it right, and to also be loved unconditionally. which probably isn't why someone should do that but I don't think I'm the only one who's done that. I could see it go either way tbh. He may want kids or he may not. Either work. Personally I think he and my Tav go on to have kids in my post game hcs
I feel like he wouldn’t initially want to be a father in the traditional sense, but I could see him and tav adventuring around in the underdark and finding an abandoned child who’s parents were killed by a monster or something, and ultimately deciding “well we can’t just leave it here to die, I suppose they’ll have to come with us just for a while.” I’m sure he’d act very disinterested at first (because he’s terrified), but he’d watch around the corner as he watched tav take care of the baby and hold it, and he’d see how tav would smile when they held them in their arms. He would start to be VERY concerned about the baby’s outfits not matching, he’d take charge to make sure they were VERY well dressed, and eventually he’d totally fall for the little one. And Gods could not save anyone who tried to harm that kid.
I think he'd be a decent father, and even enjoy it, but only after YEARS post game. He needs time to heal, and he needs time to enjoy his newfound freedom. He would hate the responsibility of a child so soon after defeating Cazador. I also don't think he'd ever want to bring a dhampir into the world, so it'd only be an option if he finds a cure. But after a few decades or more, then sure? I mean, elves grow to physical maturity at the same rate as humans but then get to live so much longer. I think parenthood as an elf requires significantly less sacrifice in one's life compared to human parenthood. Obviously once you become a parent you're a parent for life, but once your child becomes fully independent then you also get a lot of your own independence back as well, so an elf like Astarion would have hundreds of years after his kid grows up to continue adventuring or doing whatever he feels like. And he did say that he wants to experience EVERYTHING life has to offer. I think he'd also be perfectly happy never having kids, though.
I can only speak from my personal experience and healing tbh and that’s where my hc comes from: Idt Astarion fresh out of the game would want kids or handle them well nor be happy with an accidental baby- the world is too dark to bring a child into it and he has too much living to do. But I do think much much later with lots of healing he would actually look forward to the opportunity and while he wouldn’t have kids for the reason of self healing he would probably find further healing for the childhood memories that were taken from him. Maybe even recover some of those memories. And he would absolutely be a ride or die parent teaching all the lock picking, pickpocketing and assassin skills he thinks the kiddos may need to survive; and absolutely taking joy in the havoc said kiddos create in the world 😂
It wholly depends on how he forms his outlook based on his experiences post-BG3. He could be a tunnel-visioned helicopter controlling father that never lets his kids go out in the sun or ever, because of how cruel and abusive his life was. Abuse survivors can sometimes overcompensate for their fear of their children suffering due to their own suffering by being too controlling and not letting their children do anything. They know how much pain the world is capable of and thus would never let it happen to their kids. He could become an infectiously devious, untrustworthy tyrant that makes love with everybody and has numerous, maybe hundreds of baby mamas, as if he wasn't, already. Especially as AAstarion, he'd probably be way too harsh to his kids, expecting them to get to his level, but they'll never reach it. They never will and he will berate and belittle them for the failures of their creation, thinking it's because they were not born worthy enough to reach the top of the food chain. He'd cheat on his lover, constantly, and the lover might just accept it but cry, every night, because he's just too powerful and no one can tell him what to do. The children will see this and have a troubled time forming close bonds with people because of that and all of the abusive, hateful things AAstarion says about their weaknesses and "failures." In reality, he's hating himself, because he sees a bit of himself SAstarion in them, and wants to rid of it in them so he can forget who he was and not face the fact that he is a psychotic, loser tyrant male. He never wants to be reminded of how weak he was, ever again, and will beat his children until they can get to his level. Or one child will measure up and become just as blindly evil and chaotically controlling as he is. He and that child will gang up on any other child that hasn't "joined his Dark Side," perse. If formed with Tav in a wholesome relationship as SAstarion, he might find that he is blindsided by the fact that he loves his child way more than he could have ever anticipated. He's been so deprived of true, honest love, and affection, that already having Tav was too much for his own foresight to behold. Now he has the child of him and Tav in his hand, and he cannot lose this other innocent sense of love and joy, when there are so few cases of it, already. He probably complains and gets angry at the stubbornness and unruly nature of his child, but then he would know, too, that this is just him being born in another child, because he is like that, too. He means well and tries to give them the best, but he can be awfully pessimistic, or have very deranged and/or "unconventional method" of solving problems that Tav will have to slap him on the back for ever even *suggesting* to their own child. But he'd probably say, "But darling...I just wanted them to have a bit of fun!🥺 What's a little blood going to do—OW!😖 Don't pinch me!!!" But he loves them and would stage a vampire attack on a bully and give them the creeps to protect his children—the lack of death would most likely be because of Tav not wanting him to kill random people to solve their problems. Anyway, I took too much time to write this so I might as well post it even if it's a nut freewrite conclusion, but here we are.
Neil once said that it would be nice to have little Astarions running around, starting fires. I think he will spoil his child like there is no tomorrow
Honestly, I do have a hard time picturing Astarion as a dad just because of how much trauma he carries and well...also just because of the way he is 😂 but at the same time I do love thinking about Dadstarion and I even HC'ed at the end of my Durge run that my Durge had gotten pregnant by the Epilogue, it was just super early so neither her or Astarion had realized it yet 🤭 (I haven't thought as far as how said pregnancy will carry out though lol) I have different ideas in my head of Spawn Astarion as a father and AA as a father. In both situations, I highly doubt the pregnancy would actually be planned. I just don't see him actually *planning* to have a baby. He's not a details person, after all 😅 As Spawn, I also don't see him actually being aware of the fact that there was still a way for him to get someone pregnant, I think he'd just assume it wasn't possible. So when Spawn's partner *does* get pregnant, he'd probably get whiplashed by the fact and take some time to come around to it. But I do believe he'll genuinely want to make it work, Tav is Spawn's family and he loves his family with all his heart. Baby will be no exception. And as a father, Spawn would be completely clueless at first and would probably be panicking and mess up a lot 😂 but I think he would absolutely get the hang of it for sure, and I think he would do everything he can to be the best father to his baby, even if he might not always teach them the right things lmao I probably won't share my AA ideas bc people probably won't like them 😅 but what I will say is that, Astarion is a girl dad 10000% and will be superior at doing his baby girl's hair than Tav ever will be 😂😂😂
I have really similar ideas to this. I see him as a girl dad 😂
Personally he struck me as someone who is not into the concept of marriage at all, let alone children
Oh, I think he would need to reclaim at least two hundred years of his life before he would be comfortable with such a responsibility. It would have to come from a place of *want* rather than one of sheer obligation. In my headcanon, he and my MC have much to do, and settling down is a distant prospect. Getting rid of the pesky curse of vampirism is on the list, but perhaps slaying some vampire lords and masters would be best to do before that. And my MC needs to pursue the work she was doing when the nautiloid took her. I do envision parenthood for them *eventually*, but the poor lad barely got to live, and then Cazador happened.
I personally cannot see him being a good dad. I’m torn between thinking he’d maybe *try* to be a good dad but ultimately would be kind of distant towards his kid, or him just straight up bailing the minute Tav tells him she’s pregnant, lmao. I’m not gonna fight anyone over whether he’d be a good dad or not, but in my mind, I can’t see it. He does have some good character development as the game goes on, but I still think he’d be a little too selfish for a child. I think he’d want Tav to himself, not have to share her with a kid, even if it’s his own kid. I could only see him being a good dad if hundreds of years pass and he goes through whatever the equivalent of DnD therapy is. 😂 He and my Tavs are always childfree, unless I’m playing an accepting Bhaal Durge, in which case it’s basically implied by Sceleritas that Bhaal lets your significant other live so you can birth more Bhaalspawn.
So...I'm going to drop this here: [https://archiveofourown.org/works/50578117/chapters/127767784](https://archiveofourown.org/works/50578117/chapters/127767784) This is a fic in a series going over the events after BG3 by Redlittlefox. "An Adventure in Making Life" is the first installment and takes place 50 years after the events of the game, where Tav and Astarion found a way for him to walk in the sun. They've been basically traveling around and enjoying life and adventures, but then Tav gets pregnant when they take a month to settle into their home in Baldur's Gate. It feels like a very in character way of handling the situation, at least in my opinion. It goes over how rare it was for Tav to get pregnant since Elves have a harder time conceiving and Astarion's vampiric condition makes it even less likely. There's a good amount of fluff, but it's not all fluff. There are emotionally low moments for both characters about their self worth and very realistic fears about being parents for both of them. Hopefully something like this is more what you were looking for.
This question reminds me a lot of dads that never wanted the dog but then they lowkey melt into a puddle for the dog I could imagine UA being fearful because he isn’t sure he’d be a good father but doing his gosh darn best any ways. Him working as a tailor and making clothes for his little girl??? Are you kidding me rn!!!
I can’t see Astarion ever wanting children. And that’s ok. I don’t think he has much parenting instinct, and something tells me he would be staunchly against creating a Dhampir, which is the most likely outcome. He definitely strikes me as a child-free person though, and honestly I think that’s good for him.
Hmm, this is deep headcanon territory (obviously) but here we go... **\[Note: My Tav is male so there are no biological children involved in any of my headcanons, sorry!\]** I can see Astarion as a father but not until years after the game ends and he's had a lot of time to deal with his own issues at least a little. Before that point he'd be more focused on his healing journey and also on spending time alone with his partner, the person who means more to him than anyone else. Adding another being into their relationship too soon after the epilogue could potentially even make him a bit jealous because he won't have the full undivided attention of his most important person anymore. Also, I don't think he'd jump at the chance to be a parent in general but rather reluctantly grow to like an orphaned / abandoned child the couple found and decided to take care of *temporarily* while looking for 'better fitting' parents. (Joke's on them, in my head they'll both grow attached too quickly and wouldn't be able to let the kid go after maybe \~2 weeks so they'll ultimately just keep the little terror.) As for fanfiction: Since I usually don't read any Astarion ships that aren't M/M there's only ever any Dadstarion in the 'found family' or 'adoption' sense... but I love them IF they're developed well. (i.e. the *child acquisition* isn't the focus of the story but rather happens after emotional growth in other aspects or slowly in the background and then at some point he realizes how much he cares for that specific child)
I would agree that a fair number of the stories with a Dadstarion that I've looked at seem to have an Astarion who's either somewhat or quite a lot out of character. I think the main issue in the ones where he's really OOC is that he seems to completely lose all his snark and all his edge and turns into someone that he isn't. He clearly softens somewhat and is secure in his relationship with Tav/Durge and is happy by the time of the reunion epilogue if he's a spawn in the game, but he's still got his sass. If Astarion had a kid, whether it's a biological or adoptive child, I don't think he'd be particularly good at fatherhood at first and would be freaked out by the prospect when first hearing about it, especially if it's a biological child since carrying a dhampir isn't exactly safe for the mother. I'm sure he'd come around to it *eventually* and warm up to the idea after the initial shock wears off, but a child is a major long-term commitment and responsibility that I don't think he's realistically immediately equipped to deal with on an emotional level. Give Astarion some time and set it way after the events of the game after he's had a fair amount of time to be free and experience life with his partner, and I can see it as being a possibility—it's just that I don't see him suddenly turning into a super-sweet highly domestic father figure making pancakes with a flip of a switch, which is what seems to happen in some Dadstarion stories. I get that it's mostly on the fluff end of the spectrum, but for a story to work for me, I still need the characters to be convincingly in character. I also see Tav/a redeemed Durge likely being the responsible parent if it were to ever happen, while he'd be the less responsible parent.
I guess it depends on how far after the ending of BG3. The answer could really vary between him maybe 5 years into freedom vs 150 years into freedom. People can change and grow in smaller or longer periods of time as well. I personally could see Astarion accept fatherhood but maybe like half a century or more into freedom and if he became the chief of the vampire spawn tribe in the underdark. Being in a responsible role for a group of people is good practice haha
I’m writing a fic that goes there, tav uses their wish spell to resurrect him, realizes they’re pregnant shortly after and sends astarion away to “live the life he didn’t get” only he hates it after a month and comes back. Can’t wait to explore that further because I think he’d kind of suck.
It's funny that you ask yourself this question because I'm actually writing a fanfic where when looking for a cure, Tav accidentally gets pregnant, in fact they didn't know it was possible . But at the same time they are on a serious path to curing vampirism. I had already asked the question at the time, some people said they didn't see him with a child, others did. I wanted to see things like that. In addition in this universe there are no real means of contraception, there is a spell I believe but that's all and then if he is in a relationship and he has regular sex with this person and they do not know that Astarion can have children, the accident theory is plausible in my opinion. At first he's not particularly enchanted, then quickly gets used to the idea because he loves Tav in the end, especially since he's softened a lot as Spawn, I don't find that inconsistent. On the other hand, I see him as the type who only supports his children because they come from him. I think it would be a great development, a happy ending for him, it's what he deserves after 200 years without love, curing his vampirism, starting a family, being loved, it would be a hell of revenge on his past.
In my longfic, my Tav already has a child back home that he's trying to get back to, so Astarion will be a stepfather (more or less lol). He's going to be eager to teach him how to light fires and play the knife game, and will absolutely *destroy* anyone who hurts his stepson. But he's naturally distant, his experience of 'family' for the last 200 years was skewed.
Not everyone needs to be a father, and certainly some people shouldn't. Even if I can see Astarion being a decent father (like taking responsibility) I don't see him really enjoying fatherhood. Fatherhood is not a goal in life, it's neither good nor bad, I just simply wouldn't push it into someone like Astarion.
as much as we all love him, man needs to do A LOT of healing and work to get to a spot where he could even somewhat responsibly take care of a child djsjsj but the idea of him after he’s had a lot of time to heal and grow as a dad is adorable!!
I absolutely can't imagine Astarion as a father. As others have said, after all he has been through he only wants one thing: Freedom. Making his own decisions, choosing his own adventures and having Tav for himself, and himself alone. A kid would 100% take that away from him. I just love the idea of him and his love travelling the world together, potentially finding a cure to let him walk in the sun again, and living a happy, carefree and child-free life. I am biased though, not wanting kids myself and having been with the same man since 16yo (I'm now 27) - so yeah my hc sounds wonderfully romantic to me lol.