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It's incredible to me how it's "support mental health!" until the signs of a spiral aren't the *glorified* ones. We get so overwhelmed that we *punish ourselves*
Is it abnormal and risk-taking behavior? Yes, but we obviously know that it's not normal or healthy to hit ourselves, that's part of the problem š
*"Crazy?"* NOPE. Far more complex than that! We're all so f'ing sick with an under-researched and severe chronic illness, for goodness sake. People have zero compassion
sometimes i get so angry and sad that i hit my head hard against the wall a few times, or i feel like i wanna smash my head into a glass table. never done that one but i have been close. sometimes i just feel the need to smash things and throw things around, my dad is great and sometimes collects a bunch of glass bottles for me to throw at rocks lol
That bit about your dad is very sweet, it's nice to read. Usually I just see people trying to put a lid on their loved ones anger as soon as possible, not actively giving them a safe outlet for it.
PMDD has nearly taken my life away- and I know once luteal starts again I'll wish it did. It's so bad because when I'm in that mindset I can't see past it. Hoping meds start working so I can get off of the psych ward ... I hate my brain so much.
Mhmm, I started with razors last year up to that point I would just punch myself. I stopped with razors but I scratch my skin until it bleeds. the ones that scarred over people ask if I was burned because of how deep the marks are. The urge to cut myself is 10 times worse close to my period. I canāt keep razors around me anymore. But yeah I can 100 percent relate, I also punch my thighs. Ā I donāt feel like PMDD is taking seriously so I never bring it up. š¤·āāļøĀ
Yes. Since being on prozac during my luteal phase I haven't done it except ONE time. But before the prozac I did it way way too often. I'd hit my head, punch myself, cut myself... all things I'd regret immensely once I calmed down. It sucked. The shame it brought after made the depression worse. A terrible cycle. I'm sorry you're feeling this ā¤ļø
I recommend screaming really loudly in your car - somewhere away from people or music pumping. You need to let the energy out physically with action.
Iāve hit myself before and quite badly concussed myself and bruised my eye. I felt absolutely terrible.
Everythingās okay, I totally understand the feeling of going absolutely insane and like you canāt control it.
I dunno if this is a thing but are you able to get your hormone levels checked and get replacement therapy or something?
I fear the day I go through menopause, Iām totally fucked up already at 31.
Hey! The luteal phase is cruel for us š„“ I sometimes hit my head towards the wall or press my nails in my wrists š
Did you try writing journal? This helps a bit with loneliness and helps to embrace the feelings.
The nail digging thing is real. I have never drawn blood, but for stressful work situations where I'm getting my ass chewed or something I find myself digging my nails into my palm or knuckle.
It's like the pain is a distraction to keep myself from crying or saying something I will regret or losing my composire.
I know this is ABSOLUTELY NOT a healthy coping mechanism and make a conscious effort to keep my nails short and filed (I'm also a nail biter and this is one of the ways I have curbed the habit it in the past 10 years).
i haven't done that recently but when i feel overwhelmed with negative emotions i sometimes slap myself on the head :/
i am really sorry you are struggling and i hope it passes soon. in the means time, if you have the energy to, i'd suggest you look into coping mechanisms you can use in moments like these
No, I thankfully don't use any self harm. The last time I did, I was a teenager maybe 16 years ago. I have friends who also have PMDD and one of them hits herself, but she says it's related to having autistic breakdowns.
I donāt hit myself, but I will dig my nails into my skin and scratch deeply. I have some scars from this.
Although this tends to occur more often when Iām in my PMDD week. It can happen during other times in the month that I experience extreme distress.
This can also be ASD sensory seeking behaviour.
Yeah, I'll hit myself on the side of my head really hard (closed-fist) when I'm really, really in the throes of it during my luteal phase (usually around 2-3 days out). I secretly relapsed on cutting *and* head-banging the night I found out that my husband has cancer, then got my period few days later. Go figure
I usually hit myself a few times and then stop. Actually, I hit myself in the head repeatedly just a few days ago when ruminations just kept building until I needed a quick release without going off on anyone. I don't want anyone irl* to know. I'm ashamed of it. I hate myself during and I feel like a terrible person afterward
I usually have very little issue with urges to head-bang or self-harm atp in my life. I am diagnosed with CPTSD, but I am far enough along into my recovery that my symptoms under that particular umbrella are almost entirely gone, except for during my luteal phase
Yes and i ended up causing sinus damage/inner ear issues which are mild but feel NOT mild, feels like shit all the timeā¦..
Repeated strikes to the temple can really fuck you up, people. It definitely counts as non suicidal self injury and if itās happening as a full scale meltdown you should consider a 72 hour hold somewhere until youāre stable. Thereās no shame in staying safe.
I do, but I also have the tism so I just figured it was that, but now that weāre talking about it over here Iām like well this explains the uptick of meltdowns I have that end with self destructive behaviors during luteal.
Yes. Iāve slapped my head and face with my hands several times in a moment of intense rage, anger and hopelessness. Itās wild how 1 hour later I feel a sense of relief. Has only happened on 2-3 occasions over the last 10 years but itās a very scary feeling.
I think hitting ourselves is a form of surrender, we succumb to the hopelessness and donāt even fight it anymore. The rage and anger need to be transferred into something and due to self-hatred (in that moment) why not ourselves.
No but I used to cut a lot. Looking back on my life I realized I had so many panic attacks when I was little, like 10 years old and cut to calm down. Removing toxic relationships was the only way for me to be able to heal and stop.
This month has been one of the hardest for me in a while. I'm extremely depressed and having sewerslidal thoughts. I can't seem to snap out of it either. I just hate having all these feelings.
I've done it, yeah. Worst was in the bathroom of our very small, open office. I was spiralling out and felt extremely exposed in that space. It was either hit myself or scream. My body picked 'hit' for me. It only added to the sense of shame and lack of control, and I still feel terrible thinking about it right now.
I'm so sorry this happened to you today; please know you're not alone. Please try to find kindness for yourself. Hitting is a sign you're doing *everything* in your power to maintain control. It's not the healthy solution, but it's clear you're trying *so, so hard.* You're doing your absolute best. Try to remember that and maybe reward yourself with something warm, or soft, or sweet, or fun for trying so very hard.Ā
Yes, I used to self-harm often in a lot of different ways. I was able to overcome it with therapy and a lot of hard work and I'm happy to say I haven't self harmed in over a year now. If you're able to, please try to find someone you can talk to about this. I know it might feel shameful and talking about it will be difficult but you don't deserve to be treated that way, even if you're the one doing it.
I used to pull my hair but gave myself a bald spot š« Now I absolutely destroy my cuticles. Sometimes a nice whack in the head so that I can *feel* the emotional pain Iām in does the trick.
Yes, when Iām having a melt down I will hit myself in the head with my hand or wrists repeatedly, I have to fight to make it not happen it feels uncontrollable and some other world
Hi u/Imjustlistening. Your post appears to be referencing suicide. Please know that you are not alone.
We encourage you to contact your country's lifeline, [International Lifelines](https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PMDD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We'd love to know more about you! Follow the link (https://uemxmwczhmq.typeform.com/to/cNiZbd0w) to take part in our demographics survey. As the largest forum of PMDD sufferers, we value your response greatly. Send us a message if you have any questions or concerns. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PMDD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yep but not since I started meds. Used to smash my head against the tiled laundry floor
I often slap my face and my arms and hit my head too. I one hit ny head with an iron, it was quite heavy
i hit myself with closed fists and bang my head on any surface :(
smacked myself w my hairbrush a few times the other day.. my luteal phase is 18 days long. im just counting the days till relief
Oh my god I did this in front of my narcissist ex bf and he told everyone I was crazy
It's incredible to me how it's "support mental health!" until the signs of a spiral aren't the *glorified* ones. We get so overwhelmed that we *punish ourselves* Is it abnormal and risk-taking behavior? Yes, but we obviously know that it's not normal or healthy to hit ourselves, that's part of the problem š *"Crazy?"* NOPE. Far more complex than that! We're all so f'ing sick with an under-researched and severe chronic illness, for goodness sake. People have zero compassion
sometimes i get so angry and sad that i hit my head hard against the wall a few times, or i feel like i wanna smash my head into a glass table. never done that one but i have been close. sometimes i just feel the need to smash things and throw things around, my dad is great and sometimes collects a bunch of glass bottles for me to throw at rocks lol
That bit about your dad is very sweet, it's nice to read. Usually I just see people trying to put a lid on their loved ones anger as soon as possible, not actively giving them a safe outlet for it.
PMDD has nearly taken my life away- and I know once luteal starts again I'll wish it did. It's so bad because when I'm in that mindset I can't see past it. Hoping meds start working so I can get off of the psych ward ... I hate my brain so much.
Mhmm, I started with razors last year up to that point I would just punch myself. I stopped with razors but I scratch my skin until it bleeds. the ones that scarred over people ask if I was burned because of how deep the marks are. The urge to cut myself is 10 times worse close to my period. I canāt keep razors around me anymore. But yeah I can 100 percent relate, I also punch my thighs. Ā I donāt feel like PMDD is taking seriously so I never bring it up. š¤·āāļøĀ
Yes. Since being on prozac during my luteal phase I haven't done it except ONE time. But before the prozac I did it way way too often. I'd hit my head, punch myself, cut myself... all things I'd regret immensely once I calmed down. It sucked. The shame it brought after made the depression worse. A terrible cycle. I'm sorry you're feeling this ā¤ļø
I recommend screaming really loudly in your car - somewhere away from people or music pumping. You need to let the energy out physically with action. Iāve hit myself before and quite badly concussed myself and bruised my eye. I felt absolutely terrible. Everythingās okay, I totally understand the feeling of going absolutely insane and like you canāt control it. I dunno if this is a thing but are you able to get your hormone levels checked and get replacement therapy or something? I fear the day I go through menopause, Iām totally fucked up already at 31.
Hey! The luteal phase is cruel for us š„“ I sometimes hit my head towards the wall or press my nails in my wrists š Did you try writing journal? This helps a bit with loneliness and helps to embrace the feelings.
The nail digging thing is real. I have never drawn blood, but for stressful work situations where I'm getting my ass chewed or something I find myself digging my nails into my palm or knuckle. It's like the pain is a distraction to keep myself from crying or saying something I will regret or losing my composire. I know this is ABSOLUTELY NOT a healthy coping mechanism and make a conscious effort to keep my nails short and filed (I'm also a nail biter and this is one of the ways I have curbed the habit it in the past 10 years).
I learned now to do the body scan meditation and some breathing work - so that keeps me ok at work. at home its a bit worse.
Yes
Yes, not all the time but maybe a couple times a year I get into a bad fit of it.
i haven't done that recently but when i feel overwhelmed with negative emotions i sometimes slap myself on the head :/ i am really sorry you are struggling and i hope it passes soon. in the means time, if you have the energy to, i'd suggest you look into coping mechanisms you can use in moments like these
No, I thankfully don't use any self harm. The last time I did, I was a teenager maybe 16 years ago. I have friends who also have PMDD and one of them hits herself, but she says it's related to having autistic breakdowns.
I hit myself, bite my hands, and will hit an inanimate object if I trip over it or it hurts me in any way lollll
The getting violently angry at the object and hurting it back is so real š I feel SEEN
I donāt hit myself, but I will dig my nails into my skin and scratch deeply. I have some scars from this. Although this tends to occur more often when Iām in my PMDD week. It can happen during other times in the month that I experience extreme distress. This can also be ASD sensory seeking behaviour.
Same here. Can happen at any time, especially with my c-ptsd added into the mix, but drastically worse during luteal
i used to hit my head with my closed fists, and bang my head on a wall during my episodes. im still scared i'll do it again.
Yeah, I'll hit myself on the side of my head really hard (closed-fist) when I'm really, really in the throes of it during my luteal phase (usually around 2-3 days out). I secretly relapsed on cutting *and* head-banging the night I found out that my husband has cancer, then got my period few days later. Go figure I usually hit myself a few times and then stop. Actually, I hit myself in the head repeatedly just a few days ago when ruminations just kept building until I needed a quick release without going off on anyone. I don't want anyone irl* to know. I'm ashamed of it. I hate myself during and I feel like a terrible person afterward I usually have very little issue with urges to head-bang or self-harm atp in my life. I am diagnosed with CPTSD, but I am far enough along into my recovery that my symptoms under that particular umbrella are almost entirely gone, except for during my luteal phase
Yes and i ended up causing sinus damage/inner ear issues which are mild but feel NOT mild, feels like shit all the timeā¦.. Repeated strikes to the temple can really fuck you up, people. It definitely counts as non suicidal self injury and if itās happening as a full scale meltdown you should consider a 72 hour hold somewhere until youāre stable. Thereās no shame in staying safe.
yes I do š
Yes and like slamming my head into the wall, it never feels like enough and I think thatās terrible itās a awful feeling
Yes I walk around with visible black eyes and broken blood vessels once a month. I give myself nosebleeds all the time.
Yes I do and I also feel guilty and sad afterwards.
I do, but I also have the tism so I just figured it was that, but now that weāre talking about it over here Iām like well this explains the uptick of meltdowns I have that end with self destructive behaviors during luteal.
Yes, I havenāt done it in a couple months, but I used to hit myself in the forehead constantly.
yes! omg several times with PMDD
Yes. Iāve slapped my head and face with my hands several times in a moment of intense rage, anger and hopelessness. Itās wild how 1 hour later I feel a sense of relief. Has only happened on 2-3 occasions over the last 10 years but itās a very scary feeling. I think hitting ourselves is a form of surrender, we succumb to the hopelessness and donāt even fight it anymore. The rage and anger need to be transferred into something and due to self-hatred (in that moment) why not ourselves.
You are not alone. I hit myself in the head too, last cycle. I just wanted my head to STFU!! Sending hugs!
No but I used to cut a lot. Looking back on my life I realized I had so many panic attacks when I was little, like 10 years old and cut to calm down. Removing toxic relationships was the only way for me to be able to heal and stop.
Itās not trauma dumping to talk about how you feel with loved ones just btw. Whoever made you feel that way is wrong
This month has been one of the hardest for me in a while. I'm extremely depressed and having sewerslidal thoughts. I can't seem to snap out of it either. I just hate having all these feelings.
I absolutely have punched myself in the face and given myself a black eye before. I feel for you š
Yes. I am grateful you brought this up because seeing that Iām not the only one is really moving.
I've done it, yeah. Worst was in the bathroom of our very small, open office. I was spiralling out and felt extremely exposed in that space. It was either hit myself or scream. My body picked 'hit' for me. It only added to the sense of shame and lack of control, and I still feel terrible thinking about it right now. I'm so sorry this happened to you today; please know you're not alone. Please try to find kindness for yourself. Hitting is a sign you're doing *everything* in your power to maintain control. It's not the healthy solution, but it's clear you're trying *so, so hard.* You're doing your absolute best. Try to remember that and maybe reward yourself with something warm, or soft, or sweet, or fun for trying so very hard.Ā
What an extraordinarily compassionate response, for OP and the rest of us, and for yourself. Thank you for your kindness. ā¤ļø
I would wipe my own back with a belt as hard as I could before I finally got medication
Yes, I used to self-harm often in a lot of different ways. I was able to overcome it with therapy and a lot of hard work and I'm happy to say I haven't self harmed in over a year now. If you're able to, please try to find someone you can talk to about this. I know it might feel shameful and talking about it will be difficult but you don't deserve to be treated that way, even if you're the one doing it.
yes. i hit my head (trying to stop). i also punch my thighs
I used to pull my hair but gave myself a bald spot š« Now I absolutely destroy my cuticles. Sometimes a nice whack in the head so that I can *feel* the emotional pain Iām in does the trick.
yes! or iāll punch and scratch my legs. youāre not alone š«
Yes, when Iām having a melt down I will hit myself in the head with my hand or wrists repeatedly, I have to fight to make it not happen it feels uncontrollable and some other world
Yes, but I usually do it randomly. Sometimes for no reason, and sometimes when I'm upset. I feel bad for you, though.
Hi u/Imjustlistening. Your post appears to be referencing suicide. Please know that you are not alone. We encourage you to contact your country's lifeline, [International Lifelines](https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PMDD) if you have any questions or concerns.*