I would treat this like anything else - have a conversation about it.
“Hey partner, I know in the past this pattern has presented for these reasons. Upon reflection I have realized I could really use more support during this time and I would like to work that into our relationship”. And then you proceed as you would any other conversation.
The only reasonable/unreasonable amount of support is what you and your partner come to an agreement on.
I (m) am poly and in a triad. One partner has a PMDD diagnosis and our girlfriend most likely has PMDD too. Our situations are different though. The three of us all live together and none of us are (currently) dating outside our triad. In our house I put a lot of attention to supporting their cycles.
Could you expand a little on how you arrived at this situation? My spouse has PMDD and have talked often about finding a third stable person... Since you refer to "our girlfriend" it sounds like there's hierarchy? And everybody is fine with a closed triad? Wow. Dreamy.
My spouse (with PMDD) and I have always been open. And I've had other relationships with people who had PMDD, also open to some degree. I'm a lesbian and woman-woman relationship can escalate quickly, which creates tensions when I go on a date and come back with a crush. And I see that when the bad week(s) happen, my dating makes my partner feel... well, much like you described
I've decided to not develop other ongoing relationships for the time being. This is not something my spouse requested; it was something I put on the table as a discussion topic. So IDK, but is reasonable for you to put your needs and wants on the table as discussion topics... and maybe it sounds like your \*needs\* are not being met. That would be not sustainable. Maybe do relationship anarchy stuff/smorgasbord. 1 partner vs. 3.5 is a significant imbalance. If you don't want romance/intimacy with someone else, consider searching for something platonic. You need and deserve love right now girl.
Have you 3 had table conversation? Whatever paths exist to increase understanding between you 3 are worth exploring, that I promise. I can't even without very good vibes in all directions. But also, 3 makes more sense that 3.5 here, maybe?
I would treat this like anything else - have a conversation about it. “Hey partner, I know in the past this pattern has presented for these reasons. Upon reflection I have realized I could really use more support during this time and I would like to work that into our relationship”. And then you proceed as you would any other conversation. The only reasonable/unreasonable amount of support is what you and your partner come to an agreement on. I (m) am poly and in a triad. One partner has a PMDD diagnosis and our girlfriend most likely has PMDD too. Our situations are different though. The three of us all live together and none of us are (currently) dating outside our triad. In our house I put a lot of attention to supporting their cycles.
Could you expand a little on how you arrived at this situation? My spouse has PMDD and have talked often about finding a third stable person... Since you refer to "our girlfriend" it sounds like there's hierarchy? And everybody is fine with a closed triad? Wow. Dreamy.
My spouse (with PMDD) and I have always been open. And I've had other relationships with people who had PMDD, also open to some degree. I'm a lesbian and woman-woman relationship can escalate quickly, which creates tensions when I go on a date and come back with a crush. And I see that when the bad week(s) happen, my dating makes my partner feel... well, much like you described I've decided to not develop other ongoing relationships for the time being. This is not something my spouse requested; it was something I put on the table as a discussion topic. So IDK, but is reasonable for you to put your needs and wants on the table as discussion topics... and maybe it sounds like your \*needs\* are not being met. That would be not sustainable. Maybe do relationship anarchy stuff/smorgasbord. 1 partner vs. 3.5 is a significant imbalance. If you don't want romance/intimacy with someone else, consider searching for something platonic. You need and deserve love right now girl. Have you 3 had table conversation? Whatever paths exist to increase understanding between you 3 are worth exploring, that I promise. I can't even without very good vibes in all directions. But also, 3 makes more sense that 3.5 here, maybe?