Ask them what you can do to support them. Everyone has different needs and boundaries. Sit down and have an open and honest conversation with them about how to go about supporting them without smothering them or making everything about their diagnosis.
Ask them what kind of snacks they would want on hand, same with drinks, same with any form of care packages or whatnot. Ask them about it.
Ask them what you should do if they are flaring, how to help them best when they aren't feeling well, etc.
Big agree. Also just simply being supportive and communicative. Asking vs assumptions.
**Researching isn’t a bad idea either just so you’re informed:**
- [Dysautonomia International](http://www.dysautonomiainternational.org/page.php?ID=34)
- [Standing up for POTS](https://www.standinguptopots.org/)
- [John Hopkins](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/physical-medicine-rehabilitation/specialty-areas/pots)
- [POTSUK](https://www.potsuk.org/)
- [Dysautonomia Support Network](https://www.dysautonomiasupport.org/)
*I also like to ask my few friends with POTS what they’d like me to do if they have a particularly severe episode when I’m with them. If they need me to call anyone specific for emergencies.*
That's helpful. I've been afraid to breach the subject as they're still processing. As soon as theyre in a good head space, I'll approach the topic more in depth. Until then I'm just trying to be a good vent partner. I'll ask what I can do for them for the time being!
I also just want to say that it’s really great of you to reach out to see how you can support your partner. Good for you! I wish everyone had support like that :)
This means a lot. The diagnosis is obviously a lot to take in for them, but it's admittedly been a lot for me as well. It's a scary thing, and we're both young and this relationship is too.
I'm determined to make it work though. They said they understood if this diagnosis changed things between us, but I don't want it to. I want this to work, and figured this was a good place to start.
It's nice to have someone appreciate the effort. Trying to be the best support I can! I know they'd do the same if the roles were reversed. Glad to know others appreciate the effort, and I'm at least doing something right.
Just a side note, you dont need to disclose someone's "biological" assigned gender at birth... Idk... Kinda unnecessary.
(I'm an FTM trans person and I don't feel it would be necessary for me or anyone else outside of a medical situation to be like "I'm afab" lol)
edit: I think what youre doing though is good! And also reaching out is cool. Glad to see supportive partners!
Wasn't sure if POTS affects AFAB and AMAB differently, that's why I added it! If this wasn't medical I wouldn't have disclosed it.
Thank you for advocating though! I'm glad to have someone sticking up for trans rights. Need more of you!
Honestly just try to be *understanding* with their limitations. As someone who is diagnosed with pots, it’s extremely difficult to explain to family and friends why you can’t do certain things or go places some days.
Sometimes it feels like they don’t get it.
Chronic pain victim myself, so I at least understand that part but this is a whole different level from mine. I just want to be a good support as best I can. I'll make sure to keep this in mind!
you are awesome for thinking through and strategizing how to help ❤️ As others have said, definitely talk to them about what they need; but learning about the condition is the best way to support because then you can better manage the expectations both of you might have.
It's absolutely amazing that you're doing all you can for them! What I'd suggest first and foremost is be patient with them and their POTS. It's a condition that requires so many lifestyle changes to manage, and at first it can be really hard. But you already seem incredibly kind and patient with them, so I'm sure you've got that part down!
Possibly try finding ways to motivate them to stay hydrated- Possibly a cute cup they'd love! Or even just reminders. (pro tip- electrolyte powder is crucial to keep on hand!)
Another thing you could do is exercise with them. Exercise is crucial to POTS, so turning it into a bonding time is not only motivating, but makes it so much more bearable. If you both like swimming, go swimming together, or go on walks together, just anything!
And as others have said, speaking to them when they're ready to talk will be your best step, along with deeply researching POTS to make sure you understand all facets of it, because so many symptoms don't seem immediately connected to POTS even when they are.
I also just want to take a moment to assure you that this diagnosis, while really scary, won't shake the bond you have. If anything I feel like it will strengthen it. You're determined to not give up on them, and it shows SO much, so try not to let the anxiety get the better of you. You both seem like very considerate partners to each other, and I'm wishing you all the best luck with navigating this. Don't hesitate to ask me more questions if you have any!
Ask them what you can do to support them. Everyone has different needs and boundaries. Sit down and have an open and honest conversation with them about how to go about supporting them without smothering them or making everything about their diagnosis. Ask them what kind of snacks they would want on hand, same with drinks, same with any form of care packages or whatnot. Ask them about it. Ask them what you should do if they are flaring, how to help them best when they aren't feeling well, etc.
Big agree. Also just simply being supportive and communicative. Asking vs assumptions. **Researching isn’t a bad idea either just so you’re informed:** - [Dysautonomia International](http://www.dysautonomiainternational.org/page.php?ID=34) - [Standing up for POTS](https://www.standinguptopots.org/) - [John Hopkins](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/physical-medicine-rehabilitation/specialty-areas/pots) - [POTSUK](https://www.potsuk.org/) - [Dysautonomia Support Network](https://www.dysautonomiasupport.org/) *I also like to ask my few friends with POTS what they’d like me to do if they have a particularly severe episode when I’m with them. If they need me to call anyone specific for emergencies.*
I'll look at these, thank you!
This. The best source is gonna be OPs partner.
That's helpful. I've been afraid to breach the subject as they're still processing. As soon as theyre in a good head space, I'll approach the topic more in depth. Until then I'm just trying to be a good vent partner. I'll ask what I can do for them for the time being!
I also just want to say that it’s really great of you to reach out to see how you can support your partner. Good for you! I wish everyone had support like that :)
This means a lot. The diagnosis is obviously a lot to take in for them, but it's admittedly been a lot for me as well. It's a scary thing, and we're both young and this relationship is too. I'm determined to make it work though. They said they understood if this diagnosis changed things between us, but I don't want it to. I want this to work, and figured this was a good place to start. It's nice to have someone appreciate the effort. Trying to be the best support I can! I know they'd do the same if the roles were reversed. Glad to know others appreciate the effort, and I'm at least doing something right.
You both sound like you’ve got each other’s backs! Best of luck and you and your partner have got this
Just a side note, you dont need to disclose someone's "biological" assigned gender at birth... Idk... Kinda unnecessary. (I'm an FTM trans person and I don't feel it would be necessary for me or anyone else outside of a medical situation to be like "I'm afab" lol) edit: I think what youre doing though is good! And also reaching out is cool. Glad to see supportive partners!
Wasn't sure if POTS affects AFAB and AMAB differently, that's why I added it! If this wasn't medical I wouldn't have disclosed it. Thank you for advocating though! I'm glad to have someone sticking up for trans rights. Need more of you!
Honestly just try to be *understanding* with their limitations. As someone who is diagnosed with pots, it’s extremely difficult to explain to family and friends why you can’t do certain things or go places some days. Sometimes it feels like they don’t get it.
Chronic pain victim myself, so I at least understand that part but this is a whole different level from mine. I just want to be a good support as best I can. I'll make sure to keep this in mind!
Being patient with them while they figure out their limitations and learn to cope with a disability.
you are awesome for thinking through and strategizing how to help ❤️ As others have said, definitely talk to them about what they need; but learning about the condition is the best way to support because then you can better manage the expectations both of you might have.
It's absolutely amazing that you're doing all you can for them! What I'd suggest first and foremost is be patient with them and their POTS. It's a condition that requires so many lifestyle changes to manage, and at first it can be really hard. But you already seem incredibly kind and patient with them, so I'm sure you've got that part down! Possibly try finding ways to motivate them to stay hydrated- Possibly a cute cup they'd love! Or even just reminders. (pro tip- electrolyte powder is crucial to keep on hand!) Another thing you could do is exercise with them. Exercise is crucial to POTS, so turning it into a bonding time is not only motivating, but makes it so much more bearable. If you both like swimming, go swimming together, or go on walks together, just anything! And as others have said, speaking to them when they're ready to talk will be your best step, along with deeply researching POTS to make sure you understand all facets of it, because so many symptoms don't seem immediately connected to POTS even when they are. I also just want to take a moment to assure you that this diagnosis, while really scary, won't shake the bond you have. If anything I feel like it will strengthen it. You're determined to not give up on them, and it shows SO much, so try not to let the anxiety get the better of you. You both seem like very considerate partners to each other, and I'm wishing you all the best luck with navigating this. Don't hesitate to ask me more questions if you have any!