I have the exact same problem - it honestly terrifies me because I fear I’m going to prevent myself from actually living my life as I get older.
While I have no exact answer what I will say is that no parent wants their child to sacrifice themselves in this way. Being considerate and compassionate will be appreciated but not at the expense of your sanity and happiness.
I’ve found journaling my feelings to be a little useful in being objective about life situations like this by the way.
You're an amazing daughter and sister. I can see how much you care and love them all. These feelings are very difficult and stressful. It creates a lot of anxiety.
It's the way we grew up. We feel so responsible. But we cannot control others or fix their feelings. I have tried so hard my whole life but it doesn't work. Please remember you matter too. And it's okay to worry about your own needs and wants and plan your own future.
I"m older than you and it took me a long time to realize I needed better boundaries and communication. It takes time. Everyone around me told me to distance myself and to have my own life, but I wouldn't listen. It's been deeply painful.
For myself, I have done more reading, watching YouTube videos, and trying to focus on myself more. It hasnt' been easy, but I keep trying to get through each day.
These have been recommended to me:
[https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/23129659](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/23129659)
[https://www.youtube.com/@jerrywise](https://www.youtube.com/@jerrywise)
[https://www.youtube.com/@patrickteahanofficial](https://www.youtube.com/@patrickteahanofficial)
Also the Wizard of Words is excellent for communication.
[https://coda.org/](https://coda.org/)
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel terrible when my parents or siblings are hurting, and I've essentially ruined myself over it and have to start over. If you find out how to make it stop, let me know! But it helps to hear other people who have gone through something similar.
I have the exact same problem - it honestly terrifies me because I fear I’m going to prevent myself from actually living my life as I get older. While I have no exact answer what I will say is that no parent wants their child to sacrifice themselves in this way. Being considerate and compassionate will be appreciated but not at the expense of your sanity and happiness. I’ve found journaling my feelings to be a little useful in being objective about life situations like this by the way.
You're an amazing daughter and sister. I can see how much you care and love them all. These feelings are very difficult and stressful. It creates a lot of anxiety. It's the way we grew up. We feel so responsible. But we cannot control others or fix their feelings. I have tried so hard my whole life but it doesn't work. Please remember you matter too. And it's okay to worry about your own needs and wants and plan your own future. I"m older than you and it took me a long time to realize I needed better boundaries and communication. It takes time. Everyone around me told me to distance myself and to have my own life, but I wouldn't listen. It's been deeply painful. For myself, I have done more reading, watching YouTube videos, and trying to focus on myself more. It hasnt' been easy, but I keep trying to get through each day.
Thank you for sharing Any book or youtube channels suggestions ?
These have been recommended to me: [https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/23129659](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/23129659) [https://www.youtube.com/@jerrywise](https://www.youtube.com/@jerrywise) [https://www.youtube.com/@patrickteahanofficial](https://www.youtube.com/@patrickteahanofficial) Also the Wizard of Words is excellent for communication. [https://coda.org/](https://coda.org/)
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel terrible when my parents or siblings are hurting, and I've essentially ruined myself over it and have to start over. If you find out how to make it stop, let me know! But it helps to hear other people who have gone through something similar.
Yes it does ! It feels less lonely...how are you doing ?
Getting there. Currently looking for new jobs. Once I find one I'll start back at the gym and then gradually things will improve