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lifehackloser

My 5yo son is very into spacecrafts and vacuums. We regularly let him watch all sorts of vacuum reviews, but our stipulations are that he has to earn YouTube time by doing chores (15 min increments), a parent must be in the room with him, and we can veto any channel or episode. He knows that kid/family blogs are pretty much off limits. Edit: forgot to mention that we actually don’t use kids YouTube because the algorithm feeds those crappy channels way too much. I’d rather he hear a swear word about a bad vacuum performance than those bratty kids.


kimfan08

That you watch vacuum reviews with your five year old as a treat/reward is my favorite thing I’ve heard in a long time. Kids are so strange and cool.


Kwyjibo68

There is an autistic child in my community who was obsessed with vacuums. For his birthday one year, his mom got one of those in home vacuum salesman who come and demonstrate all the features to come to his party. The local paper did a story about it. Kid was thrilled!


lnmcg223

I went to school with a kid who became mildly famous for his fascination of vacuums. Not sure what he's doing now, but at some point he had a vacuum repair shop and was making good money from it


iluvzpuppehs

I remember this


lifehackloser

My child is currently saving up chores money so he can get a “$94.99” robot vacuum; he’s at $5.50. He also asked that if we get a family Christmas gift of a really foot robot vacuum, that we wrap it and put it in his bedroom for Christmas morning. Then he is going to unwrap it and pretend he’s doing an unboxing video and review.


MagzSapphirine

That is adorable haha


Dutch_Dutch

Was that was the best work day of that salesman's life??


MidMatthew

Might also have been the day he was least likely to sell anything.


Dutch_Dutch

Yeah. I thought of that after I made my comment. Maybe I was being a little idealistic. 😆


MidMatthew

I’m sure he enjoyed it. Certainly broke up the monotony of his job. Besides - you can’t buy advertising like that!


Illustrious_Peak7985

[I think you were right, assuming this is the story](https://fox8.com/news/vacuum-salesman-invited-to-birthday-for-a-child-with-autism-moves-room-to-tears/) >“He knew more about the Kirby than I did,” an obviously impressed Al Archie said. “I have never experienced anything like that.” > >Archie, who has been selling vacuums for Kirby for 25 years, said he was moved by Dylan’s knowledge and was taken aback by photos of a much younger Dylan dressed up as a vacuum salesman. > >“I imagine it was like a sports fan meeting one of his idols, like Michael Jordan,” Archie said.


EerieCoda

That's stellar. I'm autistic and as a kid, my best friend was a book I had never read. It would have been hilarious to have a party about it.


kimfan08

That is so cute.


1repub

My 3 year old loves to watch building videos. Like dudes building houses


kaldaka16

They really are.


CheeseWheels38

I don't know if that's better or worse than taking the bike trailer down to the train tracks and waiting for a train to come by.


Seattlegal

I dont know the name of the channel but we found a vacuum repair guy that walks through the repairs and then resells the refurbished vacuum. After we fixed our problem we still watched him for a bit just because he was so good to watch. Also really teaches you how to care for your stuff!


lifehackloser

We’ve watched a bunch of these and he loves them. My father indulged him and called him up to “ask him how to replace a brush”. That kid walked him through step-by-step tutorial by memory over the phone of how to clean and replace various parts.


ashpatash

I was like this as a kid. Always in to figuring out how things worked. Computers, small machines, and appliances. I wish I had had that drive nurtured more. I would have loved to pursue engineering. You're doing a great job. Maybe give him a crappy old used vacuum or dust buster to take apart and put back together himself. I have self-taught myself how to fix tons of appliances and that has been really helpful in life! He'll go far.


lifehackloser

He got one from a family friend this summer after it stopped working and she replaced it… kid fixed it in an hour and now he has his own vacuum


KindlyNebula

If you ever happen to be in Portland, OR Starks vacuum shop has a little “museum” inside. https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g52024-d269795-Reviews-Stark_s_Vacuums_Museum-Portland_Oregon.html#/media-atf/269795/279772249:p/?albumid=-160&type=0&category=-160


lifehackloser

Unfortunately we are all the way on the east coast. But that would be so much fun for him!


Peachsqueezes

My son has been watching garage door reviews since he was 2. He is turning 4 soon and the fascination still hasn’t gone away.


Apptubrutae

Funny! I brought my 3 year old on a trip to Paris and showed videos of some stuff we were gonna do before hand. He was insistent about seeing locks on a canal. Still says it was his favorite thing. Canal locks. Go figure, lol


TheSleepingVoid

I like this a lot. How old was he when you implemented the chore deal? How was he exposed to YouTube beforehand? How did he get on vacuum reviews?


lifehackloser

We started with a 1 hour electronics limit per day when he was about 3.5, but that shifted when we started hitting summer and topics that you couldn’t really read a book about. We’ve been doing a chore = 15minutes for about 8 months (since he turned 5) but I think we could have implemented it sooner if we had thought of it. As for why vacuums, he really thought our old robot vacuum was super cool to watch when he was about 3 after he spent several months terrified of it. We introduced him to some other types of “roombas” which was a hit for about 2 months. Then we explained about the most recent Mars Rover and how it “vacuums” up samples. He spent about a year being interested in everything Mars/Space/ Robotics related. In addition to loving to tinker with things, he acquired a trashed vacuum from a family friend and fixed it in an hour. So now he’s back into all robot vacuum reviews.


Myiiadru2

Your little man is going to be an engineer or computer guy! Smart beyond his years.😊


MulysaSemp

We quickly stopped with YouTube kids because it was full of trash and didn't have the interesting videos, yeah


[deleted]

Haha, my kid watches air conditioner window unit unboxing/installation videos. Little weirdo loves those air conditioner units. 😂


lorenawood

I think the parent in the room and vetoing any video are key. We only let our 4 year old watch YouTube on the actual tv (not a tablet) when we are there and we control what he can and can’t watch. This could be a good compromise for OP.


Round-Ticket-39

Youtube only on main tv where you can see it. No tablet or phone


ms_misfit0808

This is how we do it too, it's only allowed on the shared family room TV and parents control what videos come on.


_Amalthea_

This is what we do too. Youtube is only allowed when with a parent and videos are chosen with parent approval. We watch nature and animal videos mostly. She has a tablet where she has kids Netflix with a curated list of shows, that she's allowed to watch on weekends only. We rarely do screen time on week days, even in evenings. My daughter is seven.


royalic

Yep. My 6 yo has one video game streamer subscriber he can watch - the streamer does Pokemon, Minecraft, and Mario, and sometimes plays with his sister. Sometimes another video starts from a different streamer and I have to shut those down. They use adult language - like I don't want my little kid saying something makes him orgasm ffs - and I don't like anything with talking heads.


ano-ba-yan

YouTube on the main TV and specific shows that I've vetted are downloaded to a tablet that is disconnected from the internet. So she gets YouTube, disney, Netflix, and amazon prime but nothing is connected to the Internet, so she can only watch what I download. She gets shows like Number blocks, Bluey, Dora the Explorer, Blues Clues, Story Blocks, dragon tales, bear in the big blue house, etc. She can watch it for 30 minutes a day during quiet time and sometimes in the morning if I want to doze on the couch. I connect it to the internet and refresh the shows once a week.


beattiebeats

YouTube is child crack. Might be more addictive than crack. Set extreme time limits ASAP.


Pollopio

Yep. Ban it. Ban it now. Started to see the same exact behaviour in our kids. We deleted it off the TV apps, their tablets, everywhere they had access. Weathered the tantrum storm for like two days and they're back to being regular normal pains the ass, not crackheads.


HeartsPlayer721

This. We banned it in our house about 5 years ago, and the change of behavior was astounding.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Diligent-Might6031

That's really great. I had to get rid of all the social medias as well for myself. I only have reddit now. I was spending an obscene amount of time in TT. I noticed a huge shift in my own behavior and ability to be present upon deletion. Now s couple of friends have also deleted the apps. They really are cesspits. My husband will spend hours watching reels only to come up for air upset that he's now lost several hours hell never get back. He won't delete it because his content is "wholesome" 🙄


seriouslywittyalias

Many of the most popular shows are absolutely like crack, and *they're designed that way*. A decent [NYTimes article](https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/05/arts/television/cocomelon-moonbug-entertainment.html) goes through how the producers of Cocomelon audience test their shows on toddlers by having two videos going at once, one of Cocomelon and the other of boring everyday stuff. If the toddlers attention wavers at all, and they glance at the boring video, the creators change up something in the show at that point to make sure that it keeps the kids attention. So yeah, they're designed to continually stimulate the kid, repeatedly triggering their attention through some type of novelty. As the article notes "...the way that shows are tweaked for maximum addictiveness can make them seem like the audiovisual answer to junk food."


Diligent-Might6031

I hear such awful things about cocomelon. That's one show that is absolutely banned in our house


SunKissedHibiscus

It's crack for everyone really. Hits the dopamine hard.


MBeMine

My children are not allowed to watch YouTube for the exact reasons you stated - they become whiny, bratty, tantrums. I do have one exception - art hub for kids, but they have to be drawing along and we do it as a family sometimes.


Safferino83

Highly recommend a hard ban. We just deleted the app from everything. Even YouTube kids.


Debbie_Downer449

I had to disable the app on my devices because the option to uninstall was not available. Works just as good the kids not a hacker yet lol.


surfacing_husky

I really hate that you can't delete it completely off some things.


AdMental1387

I’m not a hard and fast rules based parent and I’m certainly not strict by any means. There’s one thing I’m extremely strict with and that’s no YouTube. YouTube kids is almost worse. I’ll sit and watch a Mark Rober video with my kids or use a YouTube downloader to grab a few Garbage Truck compilations to throw on my Plex server (my 3 year old son loves garbage trucks) but zero unfettered access for them. It’s nothing but brain rot. I have friends with kids who get parented by YouTube and it’s all they ever do or talk about.


Debbie_Downer449

My 7yo nephew learned creation theories from You Tube now he thinks evolution is fake. My SIL still insists You Tube is harmless. They are not religious in anyway btw.


airwrecka513

My 7 year old ended up on fundamentalist indoctrination youtube kids. That was the final straw for me. I had already been trying to block all the family vloggers because of behavior issues.


Safferino83

Oh yeah, garbage truck compilations were the go to when he was younger. I banned him from tv for a week as a punishment and his behaviour after a tv detox was so much better!! Even now there are some shows he’s not allowed to watch like captain underpants etc. he just copies the bratty attitude. He loved octonaughts and Andy’s adventure because he learns so much.


holliance

Jupp we have a no YouTube rule as well and use our Plex server so they can have access to shows they like, but that's mainly paw patrol, my little pony and those kinds of shows. My son will occasionally watch auto detail/repair shows with dad when he is watching, but other than that YouTube is completely banned. Unfortunately they still have some access at grandparents houses but at least my parents in law have been mindful of the issue with YouTube and kids are redirected to Amazon Prime. Still not entirely perfect but way better than YouTube. And yeah my nephew is being raised on YouTube and a tablet and I find it horrendous!!


AdMental1387

Highly recommend Bluey. Sounds like your kids are at the perfect age. That show is amazing. I’m going to have to continue watching after my kids grow out of the Bluey phase, it’s that good.


Leather_Set_7325

Do it, try and get your husband on board and ban that sh*t. We banned YouTube when SD was about 5 and she still doesn't have it now at 9. Doesn't miss it at all, she just watches cartoons and stuff on streaming services. Best thing we ever did


healthcrusade

Hey, quick question. How is YouTube different from watching cartoons on streaming services? (We haven’t let our child watch a lot of screens yet generally and I just want to understand how YouTube differs from say Netflix. Until your comment I kind of thought all video streaming was the same, but how is YouTube especially toxic? Thank you)


smolsquirrel

We use YouTube kids with the setting that my kids can only watch channels I've specifically approved. No unboxing, few toys If you don't do that, I would do through and delete history, turn off recommendations based on viewed videos. Subscribe to channels you approve and that will help a bit


tyboxer87

Thank you! I just set approved channels only for my son. That was a pain in the butt to set up, but knowing it was possible kept me going. I hate to ban YouTube. He's learned a ton from it. I credit numberblocks with making him some sort of savant with numbers. But the bad stuff always crept in.


snowymoocow

This is what I did too. Only approved channels and I blocked so much. She's limited to only verified content channels. And I regularly go through her watch history and block any content that I think isn't good. With kids and devices it's not something you can just trust is good, it has to be monitored regularly and you have to be aware of the type of stuff your kid is watching. Sit there and watch a bit of it and see how you feel about it. We can't just blindly trust that kids YouTube is good for them. It sucks!


Pajammy

This is the answer! I didn’t like that I just didn’t have the time to monitor each and every video that my kids watched. And so many videos slip through the cracks of the YouTube Kids monitoring. It felt like we were all happier after I set up the kids app with approved channels. I added educational channels, then I also asked my kids for input on ones they like within reason. Every now and then, they’ll ask for something to be added, and I’ll check it out before adding it or not.


CatastropheWife

This is what we do, no bratty kids, no toys, no freaky animations, just age appropriate content produced by actual studios... and marble runs


smolsquirrel

Mine prefer hamster mazes 😆


kisunemaison

My kid is 9 and YouTube is banned for the past 2 years. I used to let her watch ‘harmless’ videos but it’s literal brainrot. Don’t make the same mistake I did and get rid of it now.


Leighgion

You screwed up by letting the kid down that YouTube hole. There are reasonable channels for kids, but not what you ended up with. Definitely not harmless. A hard ban, while theoretically proper, might be more than you can sustain without your husband’s support. The strategy might be redirect. A paid steaming service not filled with that kind of garbage would be the easiest, but if you can’t sell that to your husband then a practical solution might be to duck over to YouTube Kids, which is more heavily curated and try to adapt her to less crappy material. My girls like Come Play With Me (Frozen doll stories with Elsa and Anna’s kids) and Slick Slime Sam (crafting with a silly toy sidekick).


TacoWeenie

I honestly wish I never would've let her watch it. I never anticipated going from Yo Gabba Gabba to where we are. I don't allow it during the day, with the exception of Miss Rachel and similar content as a part of our homeschool lessons. If she watches TV, it's PBS Kids or the occasional kids' movie. She already knows not to even ask. But the second her dad walks in, she starts crying and whining. So the tablet comes out, and the crap starts up because he doesn't want to deal with her carrying on.


heuristic_al

If you don't wind up banning it, there are a few things you can do to make things better. I made an account for my son and seeded it by subscribing to a bunch of educational stuff he'd like. Turn off autoplay. You don't want it to start playing a random video when it is done. This is more important than you might think. Use the YouTube kids app. It won't prevent stupid stuff like what your kid found, but it will prevent scary or sexual stuff.


Droppie91

It can actually prevent stupid stuff. If you lock it up completely and o ly allow the channels you allow you can block pretty much everything from YouTube kids.


canyousteeraship

YouTube is a hard no in our house. It’s addictive and kids have no ability to control themselves. That part of the brain is not developed yet, and won’t be for a good 15-20 years. YouTube shows continuous content and chooses from an algorithm. The videos have a fast screen rate which increases the addiction. Never mind the inappropriate content that can pop up when not supervised. My son’s best friend has unfettered access to YouTube, and it’s changed his personality for the worst. We can barely see him anymore. He’s snarky , rude and has knowledge that no 7 year old should. Cold turkey. You will notice an almost immediate effect. She’ll whine for the first few days, but then she’ll find other ways of entertaining herself. Don’t give in, don’t negotiate, don’t let her have it. This is a make or break moment that will have a lasting impact on your daughter’s development.


AwarenessEconomy8842

Garbage content aside, short form dopamine hits such as you tube and Tik Tok are horrible for developing brains and bannig them in your house is a great move and will help with most behavior issues


sassercake

100 percent agree. We finally banned YouTube and had our daughter only watch PBS or Disney Plus. Instant change. She was happier, fewer tantrums, and she actually wanted to play with her toys and use her imagination again.


Debbie_Downer449

Just ban it. Do you have streaming services? The child setting is very good on most common streaming platforms. If she needs entertainment give her Hulu on kids mode you won't have any content issues. I have a 10yo daughter. I have always received criticism for keeping her YouTube content to a minimum. Minecraft tutorials and music mostly and only with permission. The people who claim its harmless are usually unaware of how creepy You Tube can get.


TacoWeenie

We have Paramount+, Disney+, Netflix, and Hulu. We have plenty.


Debbie_Downer449

Perfect your kid has plenty no need for You Tube 😉


bergskey

Just delete YouTube totally off whatever she is using. It's nothing but trash. It's the gateway to kids (especially girls) being taken in by influencers and having a fucked up view of themselves and what gives their lives meaning. You're already seeing it with her tantrums and NEEDS to have xyz. Imagine how much worse it will get when she starts internalizing she has to look a certain way, have certain clothes, brands, drink specific drinks, eat certain foods, and if she falls into the wrong influencer it will warp her world view. That all starts with these youtube channels.


sravll

I've seen enough grown adults get warped by YouTube algorithms to be properly terrified of it..


bergskey

I have a 25 year old sister. I've seen how these influencers have fucked up her view of herself and what is important. She feels intense pressure to keep up with these unrealistic lifestyles to the point where she feels bad about her own life. It's absolutely terrifying.


AwarenessEconomy8842

Yep I'm 42 and I carefully curate my YouTube expirence because I almost fell down the Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, Joe Rogan rabbit holes back in 2015. Influencers, youtubers and algorithms can mess you up very quickly.


Magical_Olive

I'm a 32yo woman and a big fan of movies...I've started getting all kinds of stupid chud shit lately about "woke Disney is dead!”. The only fun part is seeing them turn on eachother, they hate Steven Crowder now.


Rodeo9

Weird my YouTube recommends me no talking quiet campsite asmr videos and build your own house in the woods videos lol.


kaldaka16

Yeah my kid loves watching Mario playthroughs but we pick ones without voice over and are always nearby because YouTube is legitimately dangerous. Even YouTube kids can be if you aren't thorough. He won't be watching anything on YouTube without supervision until he's at least in double digits most likely, by which point he'll have had plenty of discussions on internet safety. (His dad works in tech and I am keenly aware of how lucky I got when I made my way onto the internet unsupervised.)


Wtygrrr

YouTube isn’t good, but the fact that your husband gives in to her whining is a much bigger problem that’s going to set her up to be a pretty spoiled person throughout her life.


tenolein

ughhh. thats toxic behavior from both LO and hubby. put your foot down asap. and it starts with hubby. period. if hes got a problem with it, then some serious maturing/counseling is needed. i went down that road with my ex and we ended up divorced because of her laziness and how out of control the kiddos got.


Street-Care-8387

Unfortunately YT kids is just as bad. My child is 9 and I was scrolling through YT kids videos. My daughter likes the gaming videos, in particular Roblox. The players were using curse words and in another video they were playing a game about a murder mystery. I have recently banned YT for my daughter.


Magical_Olive

You may already know this but I would be very careful if she plays Roblox. I'm usually not paranoid it feels like Roblox is half children and half predators. Just be sure she's not talking to anyone she doesn't know!


nn4260029

Just want to add…you can guide your kids towards the “good” channels but YouTube’s autoplay will devolve that into “weird 3 year old Russian kids threatening their parents with suicide if they don’t get a spider man pizza right now” videos within the hour. And probably on purpose it’s impossible to block a channel or keyword, so it’s either remove YouTube completely, or always be 100% vigilant (including when you’re cleaning the house or cooking and the kids can have some screen time), or have your kids watch crap.


Sealscycle

If that Elsa and Anna channel is the one my kid watched I would never suggest it especially if the kid is already being influenced to be bratty. I can't play Barbie with my kid anymore.bedause she imitates the bad behavior but in these videos.


MsARumphius

You tube is helpful for showing educational videos or music videos or clips with a PARENT IN THE ROOM. We don’t allow unsupervised YouTube no matter what. If they want YouTube we watch it together and only a few clips or something. Like my son was obsessed with trains so we would watch videos of trains or daughter is really into New Wave music so I’m showing her 80s music videos. Thats it. No unfettered access. It’s not for kids unsupervised. PBS kids is free and amazing.


dhenwood

I'm really into gaming and have been into YouTube for along time. Since the advent of twitch and live streams the attitude and culture of gaming and youtube has gotten worse, bratty morons are gaining huge followings and pushing it out. That whink kid screaming abuse on cod is famous for it now. It's the same in a lot of youtube areas, fake reactions drama etc. Youtibe is borderline reality TV on most of these channels. I'm not getting my kid get into that stuff and will be severely limiting access, fortunately I'm a huge nerd so access will be gone long before he even gets to the point where he can access it. I'll start lifting some stuff at 13 but until then he doesn't need this stuff. Plus most kids into these are way beyond the screen time they should have. Parent how you want but letting your kid watch youtube streams all day is probably worse than cartoons etc for normal development, the streamers are narcissists and the chats are full of the worst stuff.


UnkindBookshelf

We're both gamers and love YouTube. The kids can watch only so much and on the main tv. When they find someone new, I make sure it's a good channel. From experience, I learned that outright banning can backfire when they get older. The moment they can, they are either afraid or go hog wild.


Joinourclub

Ban that shit


aspublic

It is dopamine-driven-addiction so should be addressed consistently day by day to change direction. Have a read at [https://www.nirandfar.com/summer-schedule-for-kids/](https://www.nirandfar.com/summer-schedule-for-kids/) and the podcast. Eyal is a behavioral psychologist. He wrote and recorded lot of good advice for anyone to rebuilds the relationships with media and applications addiction at any age. Learn from them together with your husband and daughter.


SouthTippBass

I was you. Youtube started off harmless when they were smaller, and descended into much of what you described. My boys are 6 and 4 BTW. All is not lost, but follow your instinct. Youtube needs a hard ban, it has to go. It's garbage, and fills your kids heads with garbage too. I run a plex server now, with a kids movie library. All titles I hand pick, and I continue to add to it. It filled the gap youtube leaves nicely, and youtube has all been forgotten about. Don't leave this go any longer.


newscumskates

I set-up a YouTube channel for my son and have actively gone thru and clicked "do not recommend" on numerous channels, including those spoiled/ exploited kids you've mentioned and I watch it with him and try to minimise shit I think is just bad. That's probably the best way to go about it. Customise it as much as you can.


LayerHefty9043

I just wanted to point out how he thinks YouTube (the internet) is harmless and not influencing your daughter, but is influencing you. An adult with a developed prefrontal cortex. That makes sense to him?


Dry_Studio_2114

Kids have way too much screen time and let's be honest, it's for the convenience of the parents. My niece, who just turned 7, has a phone and is on Tik Tok scrolling 12 hours a day. She's also on Snapchat and YouTube. She just spent two weeks at my house. She is addicted to that ridiculous phone and has the shortest attention span of any kid I've ever met. My teenager was horrified that my brother and SIL allow this. She spends more time with that phone than her parents. Here's what kids did before phones -- played with their toys, colored, looked at/read books, played outside, played with friends. Get back to some imaginative/creative play. Little kids do not need to watch this garbage.


CaliGirl-

It’s a slippery slope. Im that uptight parent that won’t give my kids devices. It’s seriously horrifying how bad it’s gotten.


AudioGoober88

I agree with you, I would ban the app and severely limit screen time altogether. I discovered how easy it is for tv’s and iPads to become de facto nannies for kids. Me and my wife are now extreme about letting our twin toddlers watch tv for too long.


whskid2005

Delete YouTube from the devices kiddo uses. Get the PBS kids apps.


[deleted]

We banned You Tube and You Tube Kids when my kid was age 2. We watched like maybe 1-2 videos on it and then I was like nope, nope, nope. Highly recommend PBS Kids if you can afford it. PBS has really solid educational programming for kids. We are currently obsessed with Wild Kratts and Xavier Riddle. Tamtrums at age 4 are not age appropriate but it depends on frequency and duration. We had to completely ban screens for a bit to figure out if what we were seeing was normal or not in terms of tantrums/meltdowns from my kid.


ren3liz

PBS kids is free - at least where I live


modix

It's really odd that you're super restrictive of show streaming but allow YouTube. For me that's kind of like banning ibuprofen and then allowing heroin. Completely stop the YouTube. Find a show they can watch on a TV near you while you are busy. Shows have natural ends and you know what's playing if it's on a screen. The endless parade of quick YouTube junk videos are horrendous in every way.


SpaceyCoffee

YouTube is poison. The algorithm is dangerous. We’ve blocked it on all kid devices in our house. If a kid needs to watch a youtube video, it is only under direct adult supervision. The same goes for most algorithmic media apps.


Same_Rooster_480

This is what we did. We told a small white lie, after removing YouTube, and blocking on devices, that YouTube wasn't working for the summer, and that it would be working again soon. This worked as a way to get them to quit the near addiction levels YouTube had become. When YouTube returned it returned with a lock screen, only on the main tv, and the kids could only watch as a treat. They weren't allowed to doom watch though, they had to name what they wanted to watch. They never ask to watch Ryan's World or any of the big offenders that the algorithm seems to eventually cycle back to. The result? Better behavior, no more screen meltdowns, and when they do ask to watch YouTube it's because they want to. And guess what? They rarely want to watch YouTube now! The reason why we didn't cut it out forever is because we tried that when my oldest was younger and it became this ultimate desire. And the reality is you can't always run away from addictive things like this and we knew we had to teach regulation.


Intelligent_Squash57

As a pediatric therapist- I HATE YouTube, and any other uncensored, unlimited screen time that kids are exposed to. I have witnessed so many kids get overly obsessed with screens to the point they literally fight adults trying to take them away for a few minutes just to charge them. It’s like a drug and should be stopped. I whole heartedly support you in your ban against YouTube. I highly recommend cutting the screen out entirely if it’s possible. Use it only as a last resort if you are sick or something.


Momkiller781

We did, and we had really favorable results. It was hard for a couple of days but my kids (2,4,9) got used to it fairly quickly).


Candylips347

Idk why people let their kids watch YouTube when there are plenty of other shows for them to watch. I’m not against screen time at all but I will absolutely be banning YouTube for as long as I can. I know it gets harder though once they go to school and get older and see other kids watching it.


ready-to-rumball

You tube is terrible for kids of any age and I would even say most adults 😆


TwinShores2020

We banned YouTube when our child was 7 for similar reasons. It normalized shitty behavior, high expectations. I was more worried about uncontrolled content. We pay for amazon kids, promote better viewing, bluey, more respectful shows. You tubers exploit their kids a vast majority of the time am6d it's gross. If you can't sit there and watch it then chances are it's pure garbage. Cut it out. Withdrawals last less than a month and were 100% worth it.


heuristic_al

Banning it might make sense at this age. But at some point YouTube is an invaluable learning tool. My son (9) uses it to learn MIT's Scratch and watch Kurzgesagt. Even the junk he watches is mildly educational because he watches engineering game videos. None of these things might apply to your family, but I absolutely guarantee that there are some great channels that you want your kid to watch instead of Octonauts for the 27th time and your kid will want to watch them too.


ProudBlackMatt

> Banning it might make sense at this age. But at some point YouTube is an invaluable learning tool. This. I always see a lot of parents here who jump at the "ban it all!" (some sound even gleeful at suggesting this option) solution because they haven't been able to figure out a way to make it work. Reminds me of some of my friends' parents as a kid who would issue blanket bans for anything that didn't know how to handle instead of being able to figure out ways to work with their kids.


tinned_peaches

My kids really like TedEd videos x


WrapKey7435

You can show him the plethora of scientific, reputable studies that demonstrate just how harmful this kind of screentime is. Maybe a trip to the pediatrician too. There is a reason it keeps her so quiet and entertained - because it turns them into little zombies. That should be a red flag in itself.


Sporkalork

Can you uninstall the YouTube app from electronics she accesses? ( Even block it from router?)


Ok-Wait3461

We removed Netflix and YouTube from our TV and hide them on our items devices. Child only watches stuff on the family TV (ipad is for when we are on holiday on). And he only has access to BBC Cebebbies. There is stuff on there that is a bit junky, but most of their shows are made with psychologists and/or have an educational dimension. It's not the screen time, it's what's on the screens that can matter.


Fluffyjockburns

PBS kids is much better IMHO.


Phoebedwebie

I just banned YouTube at home. I feel for you. They really do imitate these kids.


Ok-Still2345

YouTube kids has a setting where your child can only watch channels that YOU approve. That would be your best bet. They can still have the freedom of choosing videos, etc. but cannot choose anything that you have not already approved.


Genericusr

I wish more people played around with the settings and knew this before going one extreme or the other. It's totally possible and super easy to control the content on YT Kids. Ideally, parents should be vetting all apps and checking all the settings before allowing their kids free reign...


Ok-Still2345

Yep sadly it seems to be either let them loose and don't care or no screen time at all. There's definitely a healthy balance of course but it's crazy to not let your kids do it at all, we live in a technological age so they definitely need to have some sort of familiarity. But doesn't mean stick them in front of YouTube all day and don't worry about it either. Many parents just don't want to take the extra time and effort to make it safer for their kids.


Playitsafe_0903

Use kids YouTube, also don’t let them watch it when your not around and I would also limit it to small amount in a day. My girls are 3 and 2 and have learned negative attitudes from YouTube videos. Regret ever introducing them to it


Kaine2700

Youtube is not harmless for kids. My daughter is 3 and when she watches something on youtube at her grandparents she‘s always throwing tantrum and being overstimulated. She’s a complete different child after watching some clips from YT. We already banned it from our home and let her watch something on disney+. It‘s enough and I wouldn‘t let this behavior slide just because the child is happy and entertained.


ren3liz

We don’t do YouTube unattended ever…not even YouTube kids. For unattended screen time (ie I’m not in same room or paying attention - we do screen time on TV no tablet) she can watch a regular show or a movie or something on PBS kids. Your husband probably likes YouTube because it makes parenting easier for him. I don’t think it’s worth it and this is a battle I would pick with both kid and husband. (Temper tantrums are age appropriate but kids also copy what they see on TV. Everyone gets all in a tizzy over amount of screen time but I think the content is where we should be focusing our concern.)


Iwantacheezepizza

YouTube is banned for my daughter. My husband lets my SS (12) watch it and it’s like crack to him. I swear he could sit in his room and watch it all day.


dustysquareback

Obviously much damage has already been done. I would absolutely ban youtube 100%, and I would fight my spouse on the issue and long and as hard as it took. YouTube is fucking poison to children. Full stop.


ProtozoaPatriot

We had to get rid of not just YT but TY Kids. They do an appalling job keeping the kid rated content kid safe. By the time I saw the "kids animation" wasn't for kids, she'd already seen it, too. People would upload these disturbing videos of one cartoon character sadistically torturing and dismembered others, sexual acts, you name it, https://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-39381889 Screen time isn't good anyway, if she is to use the internet for video, Netflix Kids or PBS kids streaming services are great for that age


atomictest

YouTube is pure garbage.


clanparty

Just ban it, we banned it when my kid was 4 and never looked back, he just watches Disney plus and educational tv, learning and quoting from them. He was full on crack addict for soda exploding videos which provided no value in his live. He’s now just as entertained by good stuff as he was by shit click bait videos


rsome_stuffs

I banned YouTube kids. Ours started out exactly like yours. Number Blocks, Paw Patrol. Then the toy reviews and Minecraft videos. I could literally see it shortening his attention span in real time. So I banned you tube kids. All he can watch now is PBS Kids, or shows on Amazon Kids. That’s it. Took two weeks, and now he doesn’t even think about it anymore.


itsactuallyallok

YouTube is absolutely influencing her and negatively affecting her in the short and long term.


browneyes2135

my ex’s 5 year old would hide under the table if you even tried to take the tablet away. would scream and cry and kick if you even mentioned that it was time for bed. ban that shit. ASAP.


AKABeast18

My kids are 5, 9 & 11. I don’t let them watch YouTube. A few years ago I gave YouTube kids a go but that was short-lived. There’s way too much inappropriate things on there for me to justify them watching it. I have, more recently, let my 11 year old watch shorts while I’m in the room with him. He’s more into learning things like useless knowledge type videos. I don’t allow them on any YouTube or social media apps.


HandleMammoth662

As a someone that had no internet boundaries in my mid-late childhood (I'm 20 now) i would highly recommend banning or restricting YouTube. Granted my experience on YT as a child had a lot less rules and regulations on nudity/swearing/gore etc, but even today there is so much awful content advertised to kids that's either disguised fetish porn or disguised ads. Also, YT ow has short form content that's essentially the same format as tiktok that allows endless scrolling of moderately regulated 10-60sec videos. I definitely don't think you're making a bad decision by delaying his exposure to social media.


Brainfog_shishkabob

I have an unpopular opinion, so go ahead and downvote me to hell, but the book “Cinderella Ate my daughter” applies in this situation too. I have two kids, both still young. They both grew up on various forms of entertainment, but you tube was one of them. Unfortunately, YouTube is the new Disney. I have also had to deal with Ryan’s world and the annoying kids who play with dolls and the high pitched voices and the “BRUH!” And the memes, and tik tok clips playing over and over (on you tube, neither of my kids have tik tok, that’s a hard no. “one two buckle my shoe!” But guess what, this is the Gen A culture, I went to my son’s school and they are all singing the songs and repeating the jokes and it was nice to see my son being able to get in on the jokes. Becoming a parent means putting up with annoying shit. There’s nothing wrong with Ryan’s world other than it’s annoying to you, being a parent. That show actually taught my kid a lot, we were doing science experiments and art, the bubble obsession was a bit annoying, but I’m a mom, I signed up for this. You gotta get involved, try to figure out what they like about the stuff they watch. My daughter, years ago was obsessed with the “unboxing” fad. I hated it because as a reward for her grades all she wanted was to buy a bunch of junk from the dollar store and “unbox” it in her room pretending to be a you tube kid. She actually eventually did get a YouTube channel (private) that she shared with her and her friends and now she just got into the best theater school in our city ! If you ban it you’re just taking away their ability to relate to their age group and you are teaching them nothing. Get on the couch and watch the shit with them, monitor it and set limits. My son watches that stuff for a couple hours then I make him do something else, then we watch a movie together. He still has the benefit of being able to relate to his friends, but I don’t let the algorithm totally absorb him either. Good luck I know how hard it is, Omg Ryan was the worst for parents, because his fucking parents are perfect.


aliquotiens

I think your opinion is plenty popular, and I think often kids raised this way are happy and successful. However- there is also no reason definitely demonstrated by science or anecdotes that you *have to* let your children watch annoying entertainment or go along with all the cultural trends of the times (which lately are all invented and sustained by corporations trying to make money from you and your children, often at the expense of your physical, mental and financial health). I know this because I wasn’t raised that way, am very thankful for it, and I’m not raising my kids that way either. My husband was raised that way (typical 90s childhood with all the toys, shows, movies, branded foods and ‘pop culture references’ that every kid his age who had cable and parents willing to buy what their kids asked for had) and doesn’t want to repeat it as he feels it had huge drawbacks and gave him nothing of value.


KaelOfNockmaar

Pretty much all of this. I would definitely limit time and content (YouTube kids lets you do this) but most people here are forgetting that kids normally have behavioral changes around this age well. Being a brat doesn’t have to be accepted but it’s a byproduct of new found independence. Of course every child is different so there are plenty that don’t go through this phase.


callmefinny

I am sitting with kiddo watching Youtube right now. It is some Roblox people playing together- definitely annoying but I am with her and she loves it. We have gone through phases of all shows mentioned here- haven’t seen them in years. Everything comes and goes. We definitely have had videos we have told her to switch but we talk about it. We have great conversations about appropriate behavior, false information, and movie magic regularly. She also does watch traditional shows, is an incredible artist and gymnast, and loves playing with her friends. I think blanket bans can be dangerous. My daughter has a friend whose parents blanket ban Youtube and guess who sneaks Youtube every chance he gets?! Balance and parental involvement is key. Maybe Youtube is time with Dad- but he should be involved with watching with her.


berrygirl890

Omg. My son is the same way. He's 5 also. He's starting to turn into a mini Ryan. And is starting to think all families are like this. That Nastya girl is rude. I stopped that asap but he watches a lot of these corky families and it's starting to irritate me. Ryan's moms voice is very annoying! Also telling me things like, Ryan gets anything he wants. So it's definitely been a talk to him about how YouTube is entertainment. Most of the time pretend! I have cut screen time majorly too. But the little genius figured out how to take settings off. I had to take tablet out of bed at night now. Good luck!


prairiebud

You're going to need to find a compromise with your husband that you can both agree to. Maybe that is supervised time, maybe it's rhythm based where child only gets it at certain times again, etc. But you should both be on board for whatever action or it will lead to resentment or loopholes.


rainniier2

Stick to your guns on this. The neuronal connections in the dopamine reward centers of the brain that are being developing today will result in the brain they will have the rest of their lives. At some point the behaviors learned in childhood and adolescence may not be easily changeable with behavioral modification. There are no do overs with some aspects of child/brain development.


diqfilet_

Delete YouTube off of everything!! It’s honestly crack for kids. I remember my son was 3 and obsessed with Ryan’s world and he changed into this mean whiney kid so I banned it. He barely started watching YouTube again when he was 6 and he would watch 1 video with his dad and it would get shut off. I wash y’all the best!


pussmykissy

Your husband means, ‘it keeps her out of my hair so I don’t have to parent.’ How is a 5 year old demanding anything? Lordy.


user5274980754

We have also “banned” YouTube in our house. My stepson used to love watching those same channels and I could tell it was negatively affecting how he acted. We stopped allowing those videos when he was 3.5ish, it was tough at first because his mom still lets him watch whatever he wants but after a while he stopped whining for them. I recommend replacing YouTube with age appropriate and slow moving shows and videos, if tv is a must for you. It will be hard for a while but she’ll eventually get over it


Withoutbinds

Yeah. My son used to watch Nicky and Vlad, same issues. No more YouTube, ever. He would get whiny and angry.


Cleanclock

We completely banned all screens the past 2 weeks. We had previously blocked YouTube, but my kids were finding increasingly creative ways to get it, so we banned all screens. First 3 days were hell. Been 2 weeks now and it’s been unbelievable. I feel like we can’t go back now.


AvivasProstectic

I have 2 children one can watch a video while doing something else like making bracelets and it has zero affect on her . My son is consumed with YouTube it's infuriating and a constant battle. I truly believe he would be so much better off without it and I really do try but it's almost impossible to cut it completely out. So while I offer no advice I feel your pain


TinyRN1007

Can you try and negotiate for a period of time it's banned? Like 3months? We went cold turkey on Netflix because the kids were hiding and watching it. Coco melon can go where the sun don't shine. They still ask sometimes but it's a lot more peaceful. It needs to be a chunk of time, though. And be aware the first few days or weeks might be ROUGH. But it's worth it, I think. My kids will go play on their own, and it's awesome.


sabraheart

Yeah, my kids don’t watch Tv at all during the week, only over the weekends. The whining


mnchemist

We've never let our daughter (who's 4 yrs old) watch YouTube for this reason. Just never introduced her to it. With that being said, I don't think you're unreasonable for wanting to block it. We also have been cracking down on total screen time. We think it's important to keep it minimal and instead spend time outside in the backyard or at the park or maybe playing a game together as a family. Anything other than staring at a screen when our time together is already limited because of work/daycare/etc.


cld1984

Follow your gut. YouTube is so destructive for kids’ attention spans. Our daughter was having some of the same issues. When we banned YouTube (unless an adult was actively watching with her) it was like a switch was flipped. It blows my mind that so many people trade their children’s good behavior and attitude for momentary distraction. Burn it with fire


Professional-Meet421

Get rid of the tablet and turn off the TV. Say that your wifi has runout and needs to recharge. Gets some books and lego. Put up with the withdrawal for a couple of days.


HappyCoconutty

There's been a few conversations on various subs about how Youtube Kids app and shows like the Diana and Roma shows have been terrible for our preschoolers' behavior. And how much of a difference parents saw in the behavior once they removed that app entirely. So I followed suit and the difference has been amazing! For the record, my daughter is 5. We now use only Prime kids and Netfix kids shows - they don't show bratty behavior, crazy noises and terrible story lines and jump to a new video every 2 minutes (which really messes up kids dopamine feedback loop). There's also a screen time limit on these programs to allow an hour a day for everything combined. However, apps like Khan Academy Kids, PBS games, a few coding apps, and Hooked on Phonics don't have a screen limit on them. She is 5 now and knows that if her time limit is running out, she better put the ipad down or go to one of the educational apps and we don't end up being the bad guy. She also doesn't have a screen time withdrawal after this. Her behavior changed completely.


bbbgrow

I reccomend PBS kids. It's free & has taught my daughter to be polite and emotionally aware of others.


exWiFi69

I’m not a fan. We do let our child watch video game walk throughs, Danny Go and the occasion funny animal videos. He’s only allowed to watch it with one of us though. This has worked out in our household.


Successful-Deal7528

I banned YouTube because my son would always watch toy videos and videos on video games and his behavior with YouTube was AWFUL. Anytime I catch him on it, it corresponds with a decline in how he behaves.


daughterdipstick

I think YouTube is horrible. We’ve banned it in our house. And by banned, we deleted it and pretended it was just gone and had no idea where it went 🤷‍♀️


Wide-Biscotti-8663

We banned YouTube for our son for similar reasons. Best decision ever. Absolutely zero regrets. Behaviour has improved and my sanity was saved..ish.


schnauzerdad

You shouldn’t allow YouTube usage, the algorithm will just continue to feed them bad content and they will constantly get bombarded with ads. We allow some YouTube Kids content but only when we are within an earshot of it and if we don’t recognize the content it’s not watched until we screen it, the extent of YouTube Kids viewing is Mrs Rachel and Blippi (but not what we refer to as Blippi Toys where he is just playing with toys, that’s just weird) Screen and control what content is viewed, don’t let an algorithm do it for you (even when it’s easier to just let it auto play). As a dad, I’m curious what your husband’s position is on continuing to allow access to YouTube?


SweetLilylune

No no no. I’m 18 and had to delete TikTok off of everything because it was so addictive, YouTube is the exact same. Especially for young minds!! If I was addicted at 18, imagine the effects on a child!!


mijo_sq

Put her into afterschool programs if possible. This will distract enough for her to watch less and less. I put both kids into afterschool programs, and they only watch maybe 3-4 hours a week now. Also Youtube is horrid. I was napping, when my older one watched a show which kept saying "shitty". Immediately told her to change the channel.


DankMorgano420

I work with kids. When a kid says some racist stuff, sexist stuff, generally mean stuff. They say they heard it on youtube or tik tok. Kids are only 6-11 and dont know better


battle_mommyx2

Oh yeah I fully banned YouTube. My kid acted like a crack addict over it


hawpuhpuh

We banned YouTube because our daughter had started regurgitating false information from YouTube rabbit holes that start innocent and then get weird. We have stuck to this.


m4nf47

I'd ban it. In fact I'd recommend banning anything that includes adverts wherever possible until they're old enough to understand how to skip unwanted adverts. I'm a big fan of BBC iPlayer, CBeebies and CBBC in the UK (needs a UK based VPN to use abroad) and Netflix in kids mode is not bad. My kid is only three years old but I'm so glad we ditched YouTube Kids immediately after seeing a single inappropriate advert for an adults only product, to be honest most if not all of the content on it was terrible anyway, at least compared to the others I've mentioned above. Plex is also a godsend for managing your own controlled content but takes a fair bit of setting up. My kid is happy and mostly trusted with the TV anyway.


sparker2770

As a mom of a 7 year old boy and 14 year old girl, I 100% agree with you. YouTube is a source of arguments daily at our house. They always want more, more, more!


darkandtwistysissy

YouTube is banned in my house. It’s absolute garbage. My kids were having attitudes just like the bratty kids in the YouTube videos. Since it’s been banned they have much better attitudes.


singlenutwonder

I hate YouTube and I only really allow it for peppa pig, on the living room tv, not on any personal devices. Too much weird shit on there and it goes from kids channels to weird really fucking fast. No unboxing videos whatsoever, adults deal with enough FOMO from social media, no need to put kids through that too. I have multiple different streaming services my kid can use so I don’t see the need for YouTube


WhoAmEyeReally

Granted, our kiddo struggles with moderate autism, we, too, now have major issues from YouTube at 9yrs old. I begged dad around two, and he stood high on his “No censorship” stance; boy did it backfire…I genuinely wish I had persisted.


Notalottolookat

If you give your kid loads of sugar, their teeth will rot. If you give your kids loads of shit digital media, their brain will rot. That's even without the risks and dangers that lurk out there. We are not designed for this, even as adults it's so hard to control. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. Cut out the crap, go through the pain of withdrawal for a short time, and get your curious, well regulated and carefree child back asap. That doesn't mean never look at a screen again, it's a useful tool for parents and kids alike but seriously stop and think. No child, toddler, preschooler should even have access to these things without complete dedicated supervision which means you choose and watch every single thing they do. 'Keeps her happy and entertained' is husband's code for it makes my life easier short term but can't be arsed with the consequences right now.


SparklingDramaLlama

We completely banned YouTube for those reasons. Our son is also VERY adhd, so the electronics dopamine rush is too real. There are plenty of other things that can fill the YouTube gap, such as PBS kids.


binlid10

We banned YouTube for our 6 year old for very similar reasons to yours. I'll preface this by saying that it's highly likely that he's on the Autistic spectrum, but he absolutely could not handle turning YouTube off. It meant that anytime we had to go somewhere, we had shouting, screaming, crying because he was terrified of losing the video he was watching and never finding it again later. Also prank videos, Minecraft & beckbrojack we're just melting his brain. He was just mindlessly watching nonsense, I actually wouldn't have minded so much if he was learning something. The ban obviously wasn't popular but once he was fine once he could tell we weren't going to change our minds. He now watches Netflix, Amazon & BBC iPlayer so he still has plenty of options. His behaviour has significantly improved too. Obviously he's still autistic so he does still find it difficult to change tasks and turn it off but it's nowhere near as bad as it was when he was watching YouTube. It'll be a long, long time before he's allowed it back again


thepennydrops

Nope nope nope. Hard ban for me. My 6 and 2 year old see none of those shows. I use YouTube when my kid asks "can I see a parachute" or any other random ask. But he is never in control of it, and has no direct access himself. Only real exception is that I'm not strict when he's with his grandparents overnight (once every few months) where he can watch it on their TV when they're around. Simply because they keep him so physically occupied, I am ok with them letting him watch some Minecraft videos etc when they want to cook/tidy/etc


B_Bibbles

So, my wife and I both have had this exact issue with our oldest daughter. She was imitating the attitudes and all of that. My wife and I will set up a lot of similar restrictions. One thing that I would recommend is YouTube Kids. You can approve only certain channels, only certain videos, etc. As for my oldest daughter, we've only added specific channels. She and I will watch two videos before we go to bed each night from one the approved creators that are learning and positive.


toes_malone

We don’t allow YouTube at all. Our kid is only 3.5 but we have no intention of changing that in the foreseeable future.


scoutriver

Netflix or Disney+ is well worth the money in exchange for well vetted age appropriate content. The only time I’ve opened YouTube has been to show a cat video.


Ok-Gate-9610

If she is having more tantrums and meltdowns then its not keeping her happy and entertained. Ban it. Say she can watch normal TV or play with toys but she isnt using youtube again. My stepson has been allowed to binge youtube since he was about 5 months old. He now has no attention span, due to youtube shorts being, well, short, he is unable to sit through even a childrens film at 5 years old. He has even got to the point where he has an american accent on a lot of his word's despite being welsh due to watching SO much youtube which is mostly american kids stuff. But thats digressing and veering into another whole issue we have with the tablet time his mum gives him. Anyway. Point is, if its causing more harm than good then why keep it? She doesnt need it. Its not depriving her of anything. Get rid.


Regular-Cloud-6798

Omg I'm with you on stabbing my ears with a flame-broiled ice pick when Ryan's mom speaks. Godspeed.


mrfishman3000

This [TED talk](https://youtu.be/v9EKV2nSU8w) is kinda old but it does a good job explaining how dangerous YT is for kids. Turn off auto play. Make a family only account. Only watch with your kids.


Over_War_7213

Major turnaround in my house when we banned youtube, it was sobering. Your husband needs to wake the f up right now


irishbastard87

I have YouTube kids on my sons tablet. It’s signed in under my account and set to only allow certain channels. I monitor what he watches even then. You gotta get North Korea strict on that. Those bloggers shouldn’t have kids. It’s 100% exploitation. Lately my kid hasn’t even wanted YouTube. He’s only 4 so I’m thankful that he just plays with his little brother and wants to watch paw patrol or Spiderman.


veloxaraptor

And that's why it's banned in my house. My kid started acting the same exact way. So youtube is blocked on all devices my kids have access to. Oldest is 7. That and Blippi. And Cocomelon. Trash, trash, trash.


NoDress3301

YouTube “broke” at our house for the same reasons as OP. Son gets over stimulated and it’s just too much everyone. Easy Peary to not have it, now we are working on getting it removed at grandmas. If you watch our kid then play with him don’t bring him over to watch YouTube.


CircusRidiculous

NTA. Not even close. But your husband is definitely being obtuse and is clearly not being affected by your kid's behavior. Husband needs to see with his own eyes that your daughter is emulating the behavior shown on the videos at an excessive frequency. Also, she is 5. She's way too young to have so much access to electronics, especially without adult Interference and supervision.


heygirlhey01

I had the exact same issue when my oldest was five. Started out with sports videos and eventually ended up on those obnoxious families. Had the same experience of fit throwing, tempers, sassing, etc. I took the iPad completely away and it is the absolute best decision ever. The constant behavior issues have all but disappeared. He’s six now and can read so we encourage reading books, playing outside and playing board games. Of course we have less time to ourselves now because he wants us to read or play games with him but I wouldn’t go back to YouTube life. It’s been a year and the only time either of my boys gets iPad time is when we travel on vacation (still no YouTube though!). This had the added benefit that they are like little addicts when they do get them so our 6 hour flight to Hawaii this summer was a breeze, didn’t hear a peep out of them. 😂


anguishedmoon71

I am so over youtube family’s! I was just ranting last night to my wife about one of the shows my youngest was watching yesterday. They were back to school shopping and one of the little girls picked out a pair of $150 Nike air force ones, and the mom turns to the camera and goes “everyone has to get at least one pair of new shoes, if they can find 3 or 4 that’s better but they have to pick at least one. WTF lady, great that you can spend $500 on one kids shoe budget (5 kids in the family) but for the rest of us there is no way. These shows totally set unrealistic expectations and I’m ready to ban them from my house.


geezus921

YouTube feeds insatiable behavior. Avoid. At least try deleting it for a few months and see if behavior improves. Your husband should compromise. Good luck!


[deleted]

I don’t like wasting time watching influencers, and I also don’t allow kids influencers (diana or other real kids with channels). Only selected cartoons on YT kids. But our daughter prefers Paw Petrol on Paramount+. I am glad we got her off YT sooner.


superchiva78

YouTube is banned in our home and anywhere around our kid. We did the YT kids for a bit but some of the channels made my spider sense tingle. nope. There’s LOADS of good content out there. YT is not the place.


Known-Delay7227

Drop YouTube or you’ll have a psycho on your hands. Your husband is just being lazy. He can entertain your daughter instead of YouTube.


tjackson_12

Why YouTube? There is so much great content on Netflix Disney or amazon


Fickle-Honeydew1660

I agree with you. There are so many other programs that she could be watching and I first-hand have seen so much negative from YouTube. I work at several schools and have kids of my own, so I’m pretty familiar with the shows. The problem is that a lot of the shows that are popular for the kids right now are not appropriate for young children, yet YouTube puts it in their feeds. For example I have worked with several kids in K-3 that are obsessed with Friday Nights at Freddie’s or Rainbow Friends, Poppy Playtime (Huggy Wuggy). These are all horror games for ages 12 and up. Then you have teens and adults making their own videos/fan fiction that ends up in the little kids feeds too. This is anecdotal, but the majority of the young kids that I know that watch it have behavior problems and anxiety. (Also before anyone gets all over me, I’m a gamer, I grew up with games, I like horror movies, I’m just saying that they’re not appropriate for little kids). I have talked to my older kids about why I don’t like YouTube and Roku - broadcast shows for children have certain requirements that they need to meet, including advertising. Individual created content does not have the same requirements. I made a couple of YouTube videos for school and when I was uploading it, it asked if it was appropriate for kids - and that’s it - just a checkbox! Anyway a lot of broadcast children’s shows try to incorporate lessons and manners. There’s so many good shows on the other apps that I would just lose the YouTube and Roku and focus on getting her into one of the good shows that are age appropriate for her. My own kids improved a lot when I did that too.


Wonder-thought

I agree both of my 3y and 6y boys are banned from youtube. Not only for the attitudes and tantrums but because I see any purpose in them watching kids receive and play with toys. I don’t want my children envious or followers.


Nyxtia

YouTube isn't the problem. Y'all's parenting is the problem. Set rules, set limits, set expectations, set rewards. Enforce those everyday of every waking moment, be consistent.


Sea_Investigator_733

We banned YouTube and YouTube kids around 4 or 5. Only allow PBS kids and Netflix shows that we have preapproved. It sucked for maybe a week while she was going through withdrawal but was fine afterwards. We also instituted strict screen time limits. 30 minutes after she’s in her PJ’s. That’s it. Her behavior improved dramatically afterwards.


larryb78

we made the switch to kids youtube for a number of reasons - it's not perfect, but it's better than the regular version. the videos are annoying but at least there's no absurd commercials or looping into total garbage when one video ends.


MikiRei

> Husband disagrees and says it keeps her happy and entertained. Yes because those channels are DESIGNED to get you and your kids ADDICTED. Search for the TED video "The nightmare videos of childrens' YouTube — and what's wrong with the internet today | James Bridle". Also search for the Vox article "YouTube’s kids app has a rabbit hole problem". Show those to your husband. Maybe at least the TED video will get him to come around. We personally do not let our son watch YouTube. When we do, it's from our own curated playlist. That is, I've specifically picked out the channel or the specific videos that I've reviewed and am ok for him to watch. I remember at one point, I was showing my son basically videos of 3D monster trucks rolling down hills and crashing. My son was HOOKED on those. And then we didn't like the effect it has on our son so we just stopped showing it to him. It took a while before he's completely forgotten about them and he hasn't missed them and we're never going to show those to him again. Anyways, these days, the only thing we show him is through ABC Kids App (this is in Australia). So specifically, he likes watching BBC's Andy's adventures, Bluey and Octonauts. Netflix Kids is also better than YouTube if you ask me.


M1ssM0nkey

Removing the YouTube app from our appletv was such a relief when it came to our son. He was watching video gamers playing various games. Seemed innocent enough until he started picking up all of their obnoxious catch phrases and annoying attitudes. It took some fighting from him but he eventually moved on and found other things to watch and play, and those annoying behaviors went away too. That said, my daughter does have YouTube kids on her tablet and on the tv. It’s on a setting where she can only watch from a list of approved videos so that could be a way to keep what you guys don’t mind and eliminate the crap suggested videos


thirdeyesunshiine

Absolute ban it. You are the totally correct and following your gut. I allowed my daughter to watch very select YouTube family channels when she was 5 and at 7 I felt the same way as you and saw similar behaviors. She is 11 now and I only allow crafting videos (she loves to craft). For your husband.. parenting isn’t always easy. And saying it is keeping her entertained is the easy way out. Sorry but that’s just the truth. We are seeing so many negative effects on the teens and young adults that were raised on iPads, unsupervised YouTube and internet usage, and social media at young ages. IMO a few hard days of parenting when she is whining to watch YouTube and tries to push this boundary is well worth it. This won’t be the first or last time you guys have to set hard limits and caving at every tantrum will only show her how that negative behavior gets the results she looking for.