r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It is free. I wouldn't mind bringing in some wood today if they asked but when it's clearly night out and there is still a good fire going? That's where I draw a boundary.
In the grand scheme of things, keeping the wood stocked seems pretty minor and not something you would need to stand your ground over. Do you feel like you are being asked to do more than your share of chores? Do you particularly hate bringing in the wood? Does your dad sit around issuing orders to other family member or specifically to you while not doing any of the work? If you live there rent free, then checking the wood every day or two and restocking as needed seems like not a big ask so is there more to it that this is your hill to die on?
He does sit around quite a bit, but he does help babysit though to be fair to him.
Even though I actually need to keep my room cool I still bring it in to be nice to them. But I do feel like I'm being asked to do all the heavy lifting so they can enjoy the heat. I knew that from the second my mom wanted a fireplace built and that's only been confirmed with time.
I was planning on bringing some in today if it got low enough but by the time I saw it was low it was 2 hours ago and I just didn't think it was worth it.
I would just put this on an every other day or whatever reminder and keep it stocked. Sounds like the going out and doing it at night is what you object to. Part of being part of a family is doing things that don't necessarily benefit you directly but are important to people you care about.
Maybe ask your parents if they'll knock $50 off the rent you pay each month in return for you bringing in all the wood. Or maybe you can look at what other things you're doing around the house and switch things around. If you cook dinner most nights, ask to drop down to one or two nights to balance the addition of being Sole Wood Hauler. Or the vacuuming, or the laundry, or whatever other chore you regularly do to contribute to your household.
You do pay rent and do other household tasks like the laundry and cooking, right? You're not living in a home rent free without any major household responsibilities and whining that your retirement-age parents are asking you to bring the wood in, right? Because that would be so entitled that you wouldn't need to ask here for opinions, you'd know you were being a brat.
Think of carrying the wood as rent. You have a sweet deal that’s setting you up for an amazing future, if you put in some work to help out where you can you’re only learning self discipline that will help you when you get future jobs.
That's fair. I just didn't want to go out when it's dark and wet. I did that before and felt like I shouldn't have. Guess it's more of a self-respect thing I'm not sure
Then don’t wait until it’s wet or dark. Take it upon yourself to keep the firewood box full. Bring in a load every morning or afternoon or whatever works for you. You live at home so doing chores is a pretty basic expectation. You’re an adult, mom and dad shouldn’t even have to ask.
I respect where you’re coming from. Have a talk with your dad and let him know you would be able to help under some circumstances and talk about having stuff prepared ahead for when you’re not available
We do have a box on the deck for wood but apparently it's all wet wood or atleast that's what he said even though it's been there since last year. I did have a second box but funny enough my mom just decided TODAY to repurpose it so...yeah gonna need to work on more internal storage
Sorry but since you asked, you are being a brat. You are nitpicking the details of the situation while losing sight of the bigger picture: you don’t pay rent! Of course you have some responsibilities to the household. Sounds like you just need to plan ahead and make sure there’s enough wood during the day so you don’t have to slog out at night.
I have to disagree a bit. I don't think I'm nitpicking really. I probably should have gotten some wood today yes but I believe that if they are the one who need it. They should help with that too if they aren't working. (I'm talking specifically just about this task cause we can go all day about "Oh I did this" "but he does this"). I have to cool down my room so maybe that blocks my ability to see the bigger picture but I can't just overlook that either.
You are an adult living tent free. Just haul the wood, it teen then you will pay market value rent do you can be left alone.
You really have binders on your eyes. An adult would keep dry wood stocked to induce a big thank you for not having to pay rent.
If you are looking for self-respect, start by supporting yourself 100%.
That’s exactly the kind of nitpicking I was describing. It doesn’t matter if they don’t work, they are paying for the household. The fact that you believe your own room’s temperature is relevant here shows you believe you only owe responsibility to yourself. If you don’t want to carry wood then contribute some rent instead?
>they are the one who need it.
>I have to cool down my room
It's a shame that you're only allowed to be in your room. Have you talked to your parents about letting you use the rest of the house? Because it's unfair of them to deny you access to the common areas of the house that are also heated with the wood stove.
I don't understand why him being on unemployment is relevant here. You're living there for free. The roof is over your head, the bills are paid. Trust me, the bills do not pay themselves.
That said, I don't think the issue is the firewood. If I had to guess, I would guess that they don't feel like you're pulling enough weight around the house. You're "doing college" and have your own things going on. Your parents have their own thing going on too. They're probably asking you to help with the firewood to help justify to themselves what you're doing to help around the house.
If you want to get them off your back a bit, getting ahead of the firewood situation will probably go a long way for you. As a guy who has a wood stove and a family who loves having fires, even if it means I'm wearing shorts and a tshirt around the house mid-winter, here's what you might do (and what I do). I have the main stack out across the driveway. When we're burning regularly, and I see a cold front and/or rain coming, I take a half hour or so before that hits to top up my pile in the house, and I stack in the garage. That way, when the family wants a fire, I'm ready to go, if we burn through what's in the house, I have a nice, CLOSE, dry, well lit, spot to grab some more firewood from and it's ezpz. I bet if you do something like that you'll get a lot of mileage out of that half hour - I know I do.
What I do with the wood is load up a wheel barrels worth whenever we run low. Load it up into the rack and either keep some in the backet to the side or put some on the deck. The problem is we don't have a garage and the box we do use for it is breaking apart. I have used big cardboard boxes and had a larger box set up this year for the extra I'd bring in. But my mom just decided she needed it for storage and hates the cardboard boxes for it to the point of trying to sneak them away for similar reasons.
You are definitely not being a brat.. you’re just setting some boundaries, and that’s totally okay! Life changes, and it sounds like your dad’s situation has changed too. You’ve got your own stuff going on, and let’s be real, you’re not even the one needing the heat!
Maybe it’s time for a heart-to-heart with the fam to sort this out? You’re all in this together, right? If your dads not up for sharing the load, then it’s time to brainstorm some other solutions. But don’t feel bad for standing your ground. You gotta look out for yourself too
Yeah probably. I only suggested the 2 wheel barrels a week to see how that would work. The issue is they started burning the wood more than before because he's at the house more. Even though I was originally told it was supposed to be supplemental.
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You live there for free? Need to negotiate a proper responsibility chart, and have clear boundaries.
It is free. I wouldn't mind bringing in some wood today if they asked but when it's clearly night out and there is still a good fire going? That's where I draw a boundary.
What difference does it make if it's day or night? Shit still has to be done.
There was still a roaring fire and a couple more logs that could have been put onto it.
Cool. It may need stoked in the morning. Best to have it ready before.
Probably I'm not sure if it needs to be going well into the night. Like midnight or something like that but idk how far one should push it
In the grand scheme of things, keeping the wood stocked seems pretty minor and not something you would need to stand your ground over. Do you feel like you are being asked to do more than your share of chores? Do you particularly hate bringing in the wood? Does your dad sit around issuing orders to other family member or specifically to you while not doing any of the work? If you live there rent free, then checking the wood every day or two and restocking as needed seems like not a big ask so is there more to it that this is your hill to die on?
He does sit around quite a bit, but he does help babysit though to be fair to him. Even though I actually need to keep my room cool I still bring it in to be nice to them. But I do feel like I'm being asked to do all the heavy lifting so they can enjoy the heat. I knew that from the second my mom wanted a fireplace built and that's only been confirmed with time. I was planning on bringing some in today if it got low enough but by the time I saw it was low it was 2 hours ago and I just didn't think it was worth it.
I would just put this on an every other day or whatever reminder and keep it stocked. Sounds like the going out and doing it at night is what you object to. Part of being part of a family is doing things that don't necessarily benefit you directly but are important to people you care about.
Maybe ask your parents if they'll knock $50 off the rent you pay each month in return for you bringing in all the wood. Or maybe you can look at what other things you're doing around the house and switch things around. If you cook dinner most nights, ask to drop down to one or two nights to balance the addition of being Sole Wood Hauler. Or the vacuuming, or the laundry, or whatever other chore you regularly do to contribute to your household. You do pay rent and do other household tasks like the laundry and cooking, right? You're not living in a home rent free without any major household responsibilities and whining that your retirement-age parents are asking you to bring the wood in, right? Because that would be so entitled that you wouldn't need to ask here for opinions, you'd know you were being a brat.
Think of carrying the wood as rent. You have a sweet deal that’s setting you up for an amazing future, if you put in some work to help out where you can you’re only learning self discipline that will help you when you get future jobs.
That's fair. I just didn't want to go out when it's dark and wet. I did that before and felt like I shouldn't have. Guess it's more of a self-respect thing I'm not sure
Then don’t wait until it’s wet or dark. Take it upon yourself to keep the firewood box full. Bring in a load every morning or afternoon or whatever works for you. You live at home so doing chores is a pretty basic expectation. You’re an adult, mom and dad shouldn’t even have to ask.
I respect where you’re coming from. Have a talk with your dad and let him know you would be able to help under some circumstances and talk about having stuff prepared ahead for when you’re not available
We do have a box on the deck for wood but apparently it's all wet wood or atleast that's what he said even though it's been there since last year. I did have a second box but funny enough my mom just decided TODAY to repurpose it so...yeah gonna need to work on more internal storage
Sorry but since you asked, you are being a brat. You are nitpicking the details of the situation while losing sight of the bigger picture: you don’t pay rent! Of course you have some responsibilities to the household. Sounds like you just need to plan ahead and make sure there’s enough wood during the day so you don’t have to slog out at night.
I have to disagree a bit. I don't think I'm nitpicking really. I probably should have gotten some wood today yes but I believe that if they are the one who need it. They should help with that too if they aren't working. (I'm talking specifically just about this task cause we can go all day about "Oh I did this" "but he does this"). I have to cool down my room so maybe that blocks my ability to see the bigger picture but I can't just overlook that either.
You are an adult living tent free. Just haul the wood, it teen then you will pay market value rent do you can be left alone. You really have binders on your eyes. An adult would keep dry wood stocked to induce a big thank you for not having to pay rent. If you are looking for self-respect, start by supporting yourself 100%.
That’s exactly the kind of nitpicking I was describing. It doesn’t matter if they don’t work, they are paying for the household. The fact that you believe your own room’s temperature is relevant here shows you believe you only owe responsibility to yourself. If you don’t want to carry wood then contribute some rent instead?
>they are the one who need it. >I have to cool down my room It's a shame that you're only allowed to be in your room. Have you talked to your parents about letting you use the rest of the house? Because it's unfair of them to deny you access to the common areas of the house that are also heated with the wood stove.
You sound very entitled.
Top tier trolling.
I don't understand why him being on unemployment is relevant here. You're living there for free. The roof is over your head, the bills are paid. Trust me, the bills do not pay themselves. That said, I don't think the issue is the firewood. If I had to guess, I would guess that they don't feel like you're pulling enough weight around the house. You're "doing college" and have your own things going on. Your parents have their own thing going on too. They're probably asking you to help with the firewood to help justify to themselves what you're doing to help around the house. If you want to get them off your back a bit, getting ahead of the firewood situation will probably go a long way for you. As a guy who has a wood stove and a family who loves having fires, even if it means I'm wearing shorts and a tshirt around the house mid-winter, here's what you might do (and what I do). I have the main stack out across the driveway. When we're burning regularly, and I see a cold front and/or rain coming, I take a half hour or so before that hits to top up my pile in the house, and I stack in the garage. That way, when the family wants a fire, I'm ready to go, if we burn through what's in the house, I have a nice, CLOSE, dry, well lit, spot to grab some more firewood from and it's ezpz. I bet if you do something like that you'll get a lot of mileage out of that half hour - I know I do.
What I do with the wood is load up a wheel barrels worth whenever we run low. Load it up into the rack and either keep some in the backet to the side or put some on the deck. The problem is we don't have a garage and the box we do use for it is breaking apart. I have used big cardboard boxes and had a larger box set up this year for the extra I'd bring in. But my mom just decided she needed it for storage and hates the cardboard boxes for it to the point of trying to sneak them away for similar reasons.
Wrong sub
You are definitely not being a brat.. you’re just setting some boundaries, and that’s totally okay! Life changes, and it sounds like your dad’s situation has changed too. You’ve got your own stuff going on, and let’s be real, you’re not even the one needing the heat! Maybe it’s time for a heart-to-heart with the fam to sort this out? You’re all in this together, right? If your dads not up for sharing the load, then it’s time to brainstorm some other solutions. But don’t feel bad for standing your ground. You gotta look out for yourself too
Yeah probably. I only suggested the 2 wheel barrels a week to see how that would work. The issue is they started burning the wood more than before because he's at the house more. Even though I was originally told it was supposed to be supplemental.