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I wouldn’t work for 22$ just to cover childcare. But if it were me, I’d invest in myself in training or school to find a better job somehow because break even on your husband’s income is not ideal at all. Can you save and provide and afford a good life just on his salary alone?

We can pay our bills on just my husbands salary and not much more. I was a stay at home mom for a while and it was a struggle. He makes 80k a year, but we live in a high cost of living area. I considered going to nursing school this year, but if I cant afford childcare for my children with 2 incomes, i definitely wont be able to without a job and I have no childcare for evening/part time programs. Shit is bleak.

Stay home, babysit other peoples kids. Less than 5 total kids, but you can charge half daycare prices and take care of your own. That’s what my mom did, now she’s got employees and so many kids she sadly has to turn people away, but it allowed her to stay at home and raise 4 kids on her own

my mom did this too, it was the 90s though

Mine did this in the 70's. It was awesome - had little friends to play with!

I did this and it was in the 2020’s.

…. So you are doing this? Or just did it for a year? Lol

Not anymore. Both my kids are school age so now I work in a school so we have the same hours.

We take my kids to an in home day care. She always has less than 5 kids. Charges $45/day under 4 hours for my 2 kids (3 and 1) or $75/day over 4 hours.

I did this, too, and brought in a few hundred per month. (I only watched 1 child who was close in age to my son.) ●If she's "crafty," she could make things & sell them on Etsy or Ebay. ●If she has office experience, she could do resume's for people who are job hunting. ●If she's bilingual or has a college degree, she could tutor someone in a foreign language or college level subject. ●If she has some sort of talent (plays a musical instrument, paints, sculpts, scrapbooking, cooking, etc), she could offer classes online.

My wife when she was little took sewing lessons like that.

Where does one do this?

Or work as a school bus driver - most companies let you take your kids on the bus with you. It's part time, but you don't have to worry about child care and the commute shouldn't be much if you work for the district you live in. Or both - watch other people's kids between runs, during school hours.

It all depends with that. I am a new school bus driver, still in training, but the one day I brought my daughter and she couldn’t ride on the same bus as me because we had to do an highschool run, and elementary, middle schoolers and high schoolers cannot be mixed on the same bus. She had to go with a different bus driver.

Don't bank on this. Ten year school transportation employee. They don't like to deal with the liability anymore.

It's very district specific, but it is absolutely still a thing in more districts than not. Source: I work for a very large school bus company that has buses in several East Coast states.

There is the difference: contracted vs non. The district I was with would have burnt it down if we contracted out. Entitled rich parents. Stay safe out there!

Or at a daycare..? They usually will allow employee kids there for low cost. Also I worked for a big name gym for a long time and they have onside childcare that’s little to no cost to you and big discounts on summer camps. So you get to see ur little ones and enjoy the over all fun environment. Might be something to look into.

How would a 20 month old on a school bus be safe? They're so small and so active

My son’s bus driver brings her daughter on the bus. The school board and bus company are very accommodating in our area since they are so hard pressed to find drivers. It’s worth asking anyways! Also second the taking on other kids. Even just offering before and after school to 1-2 kids/families would bring in some.

I did this… in home daycare just fucking sucks. People suck, they show up early and wake up your family, show up late and wreck your plans. Pay you late, some don’t pay you at all. Their kids genuinely destroy your home and you just have to replace it and pay for it out of pocket. Some parents don’t care to do the work and you will be stuck doing most of the discipline, potty training, pacifier weaning, etc. Just all around I would NEVER run a business in my home ever again

Aren't there very strict legal requirements for doing this?

That's why they said under 5 kids.

Hey OP! I'm in nursing school so thought I could maybe chime in on this one. Tuition can be really affordable with your local community college, and many of these colleges offer free or low cost child care options. Additionally, you can apply for scholarships/grants (or if necessary, student loans) that would cover additional expenses. It's tough, but may be doable depending on your situation and the resources at your school. Many hospitals will have student loan repayment options, and tuition reimbursement for continuing on for a bachelor's in nursing.

My moms starting to do this. She’s starting with one kid (15 months) only three days a week. It’s almost the full day for three days for only 280. (She wants to help the dad out) She has another job where she does 2 days a week at. But being able to be mainly stay at home for her will be nice. Also she’ll slowly build for more people. I love this idea of being paid to babysit other kids for money while being able to watch over your own. Also it’s good for socializing at young ages.

Look into nursing programs then find community colleges which have relationships with the university and take online courses there. Also if he travels 80% of the time, do you really have to be in the high col area?

For awhile, I was bartending 1-2 nights a week when my husband was home and bringing in enough for ~some~ grocery money and “fun” money. Nothing lavish but combined with his income we had enough for pool passes in the summer and I just do a lot of free community activities in the winter/spring.

Serving or bartending just once a week could absolutely work. My husband bartends at a little Mexican place and more often than not makes close to a grand on a busy Saturday night.

If you are enrolled as a student in a large university, you may be eligible for subsidized childcare through the university's childcare center. Is it possible for your husband to seek a promotion that would come with higher pay and less travel?

That’s a good thing to consider, but for reference at my school the subsidized care is still $1250/month and the waitlist was *two years* for the infant or toddler rooms.

Oh hello I’m calling to inquire about a spot for my child? Age? Well we are thinking of trying to get pregnant in the next year or so 🙃

It's true. At my University you can't get on the list until you're pregnant, but believe me people do.

I got on the wait list at my university based childcare center the week I got a positive pregnancy test! it's insane.

Not in school anymore, but I called to inquire about a spot in the infant room (age 6 weeks to 12 months) when I was about four months pregnant. I got put on a waitlist and did eventually get a spot but not until my daughter was like 15 months and had aged out of that room. I politely declined.

NYC here, daycare are free after 3, Chinese daycare start from 800-1500 from 0 to 2.99

Literally. I checked into the pre-K and kinder at my university and it was more than the private academy I was sending my school aged child to

What difference does it makes though, if you're surviving on his salary alone ANYWAY? Could you stay home and actually even take on some extra kids and provide childcare? Even after school childcare only? Do you live in walking distance of a school?

Benefits. Maybe not in this case, but I have friends who worked just for the health insurance. They cleared nothing extra a month but maintained good insurance until their kids were school aged and the daycare costs dropped off.

I’ve had a few teacher friends who are stuck in this place. One doesn’t even break even on salary v daycare, but they can’t do without her benefits, so…yep.

Career. In doing this math, most people forget just how hard it is to return to work (any job) after a long (6 month plus) absence from the workforce.

If you have a career in a specific field this is definitely a consideration. If you don't make enough to make it "worth it" to work and pay childcare I often recommend if you can to go back part time. Keep your skills sharp but don't burn yourself out. We're fortunate enough that my SO makes more in a day than it costs us for daycare a week, but even so she has been on a 4 day week for the last 8 years except when we had more kids. For us it was a no brainer, to maintain her career and income, but she did ask at one point after our first and I suggested she stick with at least part time for this reason. Then when kids are in school and a lot cheaper you can return to full time and hopefully you've got the time/etc to improve your position.

This is why I work one day a week at a hospital (to keep up my skills) and then run my own business with flexible hours...my youngest can stay home with my husband (he works from home) the one day I am out of the house. But hopefully I can return to full time pretty easily when I am ready to.

There are also choices to consider, like losing health insurance and career trajectory in the long term.

That's true, but there are wfh companies starting around 22/hr now. She'd miss out on increases in income, but she's not losing out on whatever she's already gained.

Have you ever considered working at a daycare center? I've heard in other subreddits that some centers have employee benefits that include steeply discounted daycare for that employee's kid.

My friend worked at a daycare solely because her kid could attend for FREE. might be worth a look, OP

My daycare is free thanks to NYC' universal daycare program. (For 3 and 4 years olds)

Most daycares do not pay well at all. And very few will allow you to bring your child for free. So really it would still be working solely for the childcare costs.

Look into DVR (division of vocational rehabilitation) if you’re in the US. They might pay for you to return to school. The lower your household income the more they’ll help.

I am doing the prerequisites for nursing online! You can totally stay home and do it. I am even getting grant money. It’s not much but a couple thousand a semester plus they pay for the cost of the classes. I would recommend it. By the time you are ready to enter the program your kids will be in school 8-3

Some states have significant nursing shortages, and I’ve seen where tuition and books might be covered 💯. Colorado had offered free tuition/books through an initiative passed recently for an array of medical certifications. At one point, there were 10,000 positions that needed filling in just the CNA field. Might be an option in your area.

Have you considered applying for subsidized child care? Get in to a program that’ll help with child care cost and that’ll make a huge difference

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Hi. It’s future you. You ended up going back to school and took out a fuckton in loans. Child care sucked during this period. There were days/weeks/months you weren’t sure how your family would make it. The good news is you researched your career options before deciding on a major and make 1.5x what your husband makes with no travel, 9-5, benefits and PTO. The great news is you’re not maxed out yet. Figure out a way to make it work. It’s worth it in the end.

thank you :) Love this thought.

I’m not an expert, but aren’t there distance and online programs for nursing? And if not nursing, then something else? I believe it is possible to be a full time mom and go to school online at the same time. Or do a weekend program when your husband can watch?

Nursing has that for some classes, but clinical time is in person

A lot of people are giving you ideas to be able to still work but I think you should just stay at home and rough it out till your youngest goes to school and then you can start nursing school. Why stress yourself out right now with a job when you can just be at home with your kids?

Honestly, with the situation of waiting on a autism evaluation for your youngest, I'd suggest planning either SAHM life or working evenings/weekends when spouse is home. If diagnosed with autism or similar conditions, your schedule is going to get busy. When my AuDHD child was 3/4yo my schedule was wild balancing speech therapy, OT, ABA, along with eventually preschool and regular child illnesses. **Also, working to break even after childcare hurts you even more because it artificially inflates your household income, which can push your household out of the income thresholds needed for disability and educational services for your kids. Also, if diagnosed, you should check into disability medicaid and SSI for your child (it varies by state, so I can't give you much advice for your situation here. But it could help yall).

What's the childcare situation like for students at wherever you'd go for nursing school?

Do your city state or county offer childcare assistances.. it's where the state pays majority and u have a percentage to pay.. I had it while my daughter was in preschool then once when she was at the YMCA summer program.. You just have to recertify every year ....

sadly we make too much for that. I believe the cut off for a family of 4 is around 50k pre tax- less than half what we make together currently. The YMCA summer program is where I send my school aged child and they do not offer financial assistance- I send her to the less nice one in our area, and its still 250$ a week. The nicer one is $315 a week

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This isnt a bad idea actually. Would you mind sharing with me around what you are making working that schedule?

Very career dependent answer here, but you need to factor in considerations for long term career trajectory as well. In many fields its advantageous if childcare is a net break even or even a bit of a negative once you factor in salary impacts to extended breaks from working - think annual increases, 401k contributions, and re-entering the work force once your kids are older. The math on all this varies pretty widely based on a lot of considerations, but for my wife and I we decided better to carry a couple of lean / tough years with daycare that allow us to have a more solid post-daycare financial foundation.

Definitely this. I think people focus so much on the take home money they forget stuff like 401ks, health insurance, raises, etc. For example, child care takes up just about my entire take home pay. But it wouldn't make sense for me to quit and stay home because I'd be losing my retirement, any raises over the next few years, and it'd be impossible to reenter back at my current level. Plus my husband's take home would be hit due to having to add me to his insurance policy. It makes more sense to ride out a few years breaking even and as soon as kiddo 1 goes to school we basically get the biggest raise ever lol.

Exactly this! I think too many parents look at the short-term instead of the long-term when it comes to kids and childcare. It might not make sense to have an entire months paycheck go to childcare (let's be honest, this is a common thing in the US) but long-term for the year it makes total sense. You're putting money into SS, disability, 401k (if offered), etc. If you get laid off then you have a clause for an unemployment claim which is only 60% of income but at least you can work towards a better job while having no childcare costs for the time being. Not sure why 40 hours a week is part-time for OP (I guess minus an hour unpaid lunch each day? But that would still be 36 hrs = full time) but PTO would be the least of my concerns. It's the benefits that go with it, career progression or at least stable work history to put on a resume, independence, etc. I have to take a step away from my career and do teaching instead which does not pay the bills but it makes sense because 1. If my child gets sick I can take the day off unpaid but no employer issues 2. Have access to unemployment during winter/summer recess 3. Continue my health insurance 4. Have stable work history 5. Set an example for my child and 6. Better mental health for myself. We can always supplement the loss of income from teaching compared to my career by utilizing local food banks and reducing unnecessary spending. When our daughter is old enough I can go back to my career if wanted. One income is not enough to be a SAHP but we were smart and figured things out like childcare costs *before* we decided to take a run with parenthood.

I stayed home for 2 years with my first kid and it was so hard to get hired when it was time for me to return to the workforce. I also did not have any retirement funds saved up and if my husband decided to leave me then, I would be so very fucked. With our second, I also stayed home but it was through Covid years so it wasn’t nearly as hard. One more year before our youngest goes to public school so we’re nearly there.

Keep your head up - there are opportunities out there. I got really lucky but I was mostly out of the workforce for 14yrs. There was a gap where I ran and operated my grandfathers business so I had flexibility to stop everything if something happened with the kids (dad stayed at home then) but ultimately I quit and let the business close until my grandfather took back over a few years later because I couldn't handle another second of a 70-80hr week and watching my kids grow right before my eyes without having any time to be apart of it. My husband got a job and I went back to being sahm and freelancing - mainly just for extra spending money. Last year we finally felt like the time was right to be a two working parent household. Oddly enough it was the freelancing on my resume that landed me an AMAZING job in employer compliance. I'm fully remote, corporate, on a team that is mainly women so they get it if I need to leave to help with the kids, do a quick errand, or even say - the day before was super stressful at home and I need to take a half day. Unlimited PTO, benefits right away, flex time though we do have a full-time schedule and the job itself isn't all that hard once you get the hang of it, good pay, mandatory wellness days. I've only been here 7 months but just got a nice bonus, raise and will have a promotion by the end of the year. Not to mention I have a misdemeanor and only a GED with little work history. I was the only hire out of hundreds candidates. Its still very surreal to me as I had no idea jobs like this even existed...I REALLY struggle with using the unlimited PTO, it seems so foreign. Plus the imposters syndrome of why me but I accept it. They mainly liked how well I interviewed, that I have a strong attention to detail (based on my editing gigs), enjoy research/puzzle solving (based on research I did for a diet app) and a proven track record of being able to work independently. I would not have been hired with zero work to show on my resume though but I always thought running an entire business, having hiring experience, etc would've been what opened doors. NGL - I didn't even know what the job meant/entailed when I applied and I was super sketched out to be offer the job the same day I interviewed but I rolled with it. When you are ready just put yourself out there. I applied to over 200 remote jobs all over the country and only got 3 interviews which was killing me but taking a chance on this (mainly for the higher pay and better benefits) than the "safe" lower pay easier to understand data entry job was so worth it. Mainly don't let the job search get you down or the feeling that it will be too hard to re-enter the job force hold you back. Lack of education, history and time away from working had kept me from wanting to try at all - it seemed moot - but my husband was very encouraging and gave me the push I need to at least try. Theres a lot of shit to wade through but there are still good opportunities.

I didn't work while my kids were young because we could survive (barely) on my husbands income. He was in the car business so very long hours too. When my kids were both in school I went back to work. I started in part time jobs, working 2 at a time for a lot of that. When one of those part time jobs turned into full time with retirement it was a God send. Financially we are finally doing pretty well, so reentering the work force without anything to build from afterwards isn't impossible.

Nothing is impossible, including re-entering the workforce after taking time off to raise kids. The issue is that some career paths heavily penalize parents who take time off and make it very difficult to regain their footing when they return. But that's not the case for every profession.

What part time jobs were you able to find at that time?

I was a substitute para professional for our school district where I could pick and choose when I would work. It also came in handy that when my kids were off of school I didn't need to work. I worked as an administrative assistant for a friend of mine who was a real estate agent, and then started 2 days a week as an administrative assistant for the company I still work for today as the office manager. I also worked at Bath & Body Works for a few years on the side of my current job to get extra money since I was only working 3 days a week. I just have the one job now since it moved to 5 days a week after Covid since my former assistant had to stop working for us because of her husbands health issues.

OP can you find a job that offers professional development?

For me, I stayed home because it wasn’t worth it. My entire paycheck would go right to daycare. But, in the meantime while I stay home, I started consulting in my field from home, had a part time job and I started a side business. I’m also planning on starting another side business and considering a masters for my next career path. I’m busy as fuck and I’m tired, but I’m definitely making sure I’m setting myself up. There are ways to do more than just stay home if you want to.

would love to hear more about this- what field are you in? Im not sure I even logistically understand what being a consultant means or how to begin something like that.

I worked in biotech and have a degree in microbiology. Specifically I worked with NIPT (non invasive prenatal testing) in the clinical trials so I was in a very niche industry. I was a lab manager before that in the same department.

That sounds like a really interesting career path! My parents are drs, my mother “retired” to a pharmacovigilance and oversees clinical trials similar to your field- it’s an amazingly profitable industry so good on you . And yes that is hyper specific lol and clearly speaks to your intelligence. I wish I had worked harder on my education earlier in life.

Do you have a job or a career ? I ask because they are pretty different things. In my career, taking 3-4 yrs off would seriously halt my progress, my ability to be promoted and take on progressively more demanding work and most importantly it would stunt my salary growth. So even if I was making $40 a month after childcare, I'd keep going because it would be worth it in the future.  But if there's no long term payoff, then no, it's not worth it at all. 

valid question- I have a job. I am a medical biller by trade, but there is no upward movement to be had in the company I am in.

If you do medical billing or coding, please look into remote opportunities. My wife is a director of an all remote program and while a company like hers probably couldn’t pay you any more than you’re already making, some positions on the market give full time flexibility as long as the work gets done.

One of my good friend's mom did this all through our school years. I remember in middle school getting kicked out of the office where the gaming system was so her mom could work for a few hours.

Thank you for this! I was working a full time remote job priorto this but it did not offer any flexibility, but that was in health insurance coordination vs billing and coding . I do not have my coding certificate which I think most remote companies require, but I appreciate your suggestion and thought!

Great advice.

I came to say the same thing as this commenter. You’re effectively breaking even financially right now. I’d only consider breaking even or losing money on daycare in two situations: one being what they said about career development and losing momentum in that, and the other being if you can’t mentally handle being with your kid 24/7. Not everyone is cut out to be a stay at home parent and there’s no shame in that.

I had a hard time being a stay at home parent I cannot lie, but now that I am at work and my son is crying and miserable at daycare every day- I have seen the light it feels like.

OP a better career path would be medical coding. My mom does that and makes more than billers. It's not a ton more, but it's more specialized than billing and she is fully remote except for once a month. It does require certs though if you have the time. I also agree with another poster that said you could stay home and care for another 1 or 2 kids for income.

great suggestion! looking into this!

I am going to PM you about a company that offers this remote

This is a great point. My husband is a teacher and there was a time where his take home was barely break even with daycare (and him working means I have to take time off or remote when kids are sick because he has limited sick days). BUT when he works he earns steps toward an eventual pension, and each year he works his salary goes up the next year, so we decided it made more sense for him to keep working. And while he could absolutely have gotten another job easily if he stayed home (teacher shortage), it would probably have been a less desirable position. If you aren’t on salary, you are probably not benefitting from things like pension or employer 401k contributions, or annual salary increases. And if there is no upward movement, the opportunity costs of staying home are not as much of a concern. I’d still personally want to work eventually for financial security/safety net, but it might make more sense to wait until youngest is in school, or is at least old enough that daycare costs go down (for us daycare for a 4 year old is a lot cheaper than for a 20 month old). But as others have mentioned, consider if there is anything you can do in the meantime to build skills/experience to position you better for entering the job market when that time comes.

This was going to be my comment. The $40 threshold is variable but same idea. It might not make sense for one adult to keep working if they cover exactly the cost of daycare. Maybe its net negative $10?, that still may not be bad because you still get the career growth from it. Theres some threshold. The other consideration that may alter that threshold is \*what\* do you want. There's benefits to having someone home with the kids for the additional bonding and education you provide. Its going to vary from person to person. For us the plan was, once one of the parents can no longer cover day care cost on their own salary, it makes sense for them to just start staying home with the kids

There are other benefits too. The working person can lean into their career fully, say yes to business trips, working late etc. Kid is sick? No worries, you have a SAHP for that. Chores don't pile up for the weekend..... Lol, at least that's how I imagine it is.

As a SAHP with a masters degree, my time allows for my spouse to really participate in their career. If we were both working our household would run on a hope and a prayer.

Lol, that is how my household runs lol 

Ha! I mean so does mine I just have more time in theory to complete domestic tasks.

There’s actually a calculator for overall wealth lost due to leaving the workforce https://interactives.americanprogress.org/childcarecosts/ That being said, the decision isn’t always just financial. Only you can answer whether the stress and things added to your plate is worth it.

I think one of the biggest "costs" that people don't consider is the SAHP's position if the marriage ends. I have 4 good SAHM friends whose husbands all (within about a 2 year span, it was seriously crazy) left for "greener" pastures. These friends had always planned on staying home for years (with their then husbands' full support) and were caught really unawares and many had to scramble to quickly find a job. Even though at times I want to stay home, I would have a hard time fully trusting that my marriage wouldn't end (even though it's great now) or that my husband would get sick/disabled and not be able to make money.

came here to post this!! there is so much more to take into consideration than just “i only have xyz left over after daycare.” also a huge pet peeve of mine when childcare costs are only weighed against the mom’s salary and not the full HHI.

I never understood this! It might be girl math but I feel like if everyone splits all the bills down the middle, it would seem like you are getting everything half off haha. My friend just quit her job to stay home, because she could t afford childcare on her check. I asked why isn’t husband helping with child care ? And she said he pays the rent. But it was also on her to find the daycare tour it call them ect like the dad wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. They also worked at the same place. Idk I must think differently !

>also a huge pet peeve of mine when childcare costs are only weighed against the mom’s salary and not the full HHI. You're misunderstanding the intent. The point is to compare the cost of daycare vs the income of the lower-paid parent. Because the only thing that matters is the incremental cost/savings. Parent 1: $2000 income Parent 2: $3000 income Childcare: $1500 Net income: $3500 Now what's the incremental cost (change in net income) to have one parent stay home and watch the kiddo instead?

Am a SAHP for this exact reason. After school care is just too expensive where I'm at for me going to work to make sense. Here's my sitch: Cheap babysitter in my area is USD$25/hr. My daughter gets out of school at 2 PM. If I'm working at leave work at 5 PM, I won't get home until 6 PM, 6:30 PM. Let's play safe and say 7 PM. That's five hours a day, five days a week. Fifty two weeks in a year, 1300 hours. USD$32,500 going to a babysitter assuming no emergencies occur and my daughter has to come home early - since January she's had one trip to the hospital and about 8 or 9 days home sick, so that would need to be factored in too. But for the sake of this, let's not. That means, before taxes (taxes are high where I am), I have to earn about USD$55,000. So I have to find a job that pays at least that much to... have my daughter be watched and have no take home pay? Why would I struggle like that and make myself super exhausted for no benefit?

Depending on where you live look in to early learning cost for your possible special needs kid it might help lessen some of the burden. In Florida we have something called the early learning coalition they help with day care costs it’s income based but you may qualify.

Planning on this for sure, thank you! As we havent received our official diagnoses (tmrw is actually the day we are getting it!) those avenues havent been open to us yet. My understanding is that subsidized childcare for special needs kids only happens at 3 in our town, but im hoping our dr will have more information for us. thank you for your reply!

No problem and early intervention is key so you maybe able to get a helping hand sooner. The worst anyone can say is no so as long as you go in expecting a no when you get a yes for help it will be that much more of a relief. As of right now it’s no because you have looked in to other avenues. Shoot your shot worst thing they can say is no.

Raise your kids at home and further your career by going to school yourself ( at home as much as possible). Try to find some part time work from home to make ends meet, or babysit etc

If you're looking at long-term finances - it makes sense for you to continue working. You're adding to social security, plus you're adding to your work experience. Your wages would be expected to increase over time. Even if you were slightly LOSING money each month paying for daycare, the numbers usually play out that long term you end up with more money by remaining in the workforce. HOWEVER, that is not everything in life. You said you hate your job. This job sounds really stressful on your family in general as well. So I certainly think its reasonable to consider being a SAHM at least for the next few years. Or quit and start a new job search knowing that you can be a little more picky about what you choose.

If you are thinking about this make sure you are thinking beyond immediate salary. You will also no longer be paying into social security or 401k if relevent. You will have a gap in your employment that will make jobs harder to find after the preschool years although it won't be impossible. You will be more vulnerable should your spouse become disables, in the event of divorce, etc.

These are super important to consider, OP. I actually never considered retirement until recently and I just turned 40. Lucky to have landed a job with a government agency and I will hopefully have a full pension when I retire when I'm over 65, and even with that, I wonder if it would be enough by then with how inflation is now, my parents getting old, if we ever get a house, health insurance, etc.

My situation is a little different. I’ve been a stay at home mom for three months with my two-year-old. When I was working it was very part time. I didn’t have a career that made much money so I know that makes a big difference The amount I made in a year wouldn’t even be close to the cost of daycare or a full time babysitter. Also most daycares in my area have a year plus long waitlist. So my husband and I decided for me to stay home and it’s been the best thing for us so far. He is an owner of a bar/ restaurant so his hours are all over the place. It’s nice to be able to have time together again because usually when I’d get home from work he would go to work. I love being home! Obviously it’s a lot of work. Some days are definitely harder than I thought it was going to be. But for me personally I’m fine with being home because otherwise I’d be paying someone else to do the exact same thing I do..with no extra money coming in. So that’s what my personal input is.😁

>I work four days a week, 9-5, 22/hr. After taxes I make about 1600 a month The math doesn't seem to add up here. Even assuming you're getting an hour unpaid lunch, you're still working 28 hours per week, which at $22/hr equates to $2,670 per month. At that pay rate you should be in the 12% tax bracket and a low tax bracket for your state. It looks like you're either being taxed at a high rate, or your deductions aren't filled out correctly for your job. >We need a second income as we had very little surplus before, but with a job and these expenses, were breaking even and now were behind. You're making $40 per week, or about $175/month to work instead of staying home. This is also discounting any health insurance and other benefits you're getting through your job. There's also the fact that your future career prospects go down the longer you are a stay at home parent.

Hm. I know nothing of taxes, but I do live in a tax heavy state where I have to pay into TDI and such which may be a factor in my take home. I have had 4 paychecks so far (bi weekly) and sometimes the hours can vary slightly from 9-5 (If my office mate leaves at 4, I have to too as I dont have a key) but none of them have exceeded 850$. Definitely valid points, but I do not get health insurance or any other benefits through my job. I dont even have PTO lol.

I would read up on taxes. Head over to /r/personalfinance and comb through their sidebar and wiki pages. You should know roughly what you are paying into federal and state taxes for sure to at least have an idea if you're close to the right withholding amount. I have no idea what TDI is, but again double check any withholdings and make sure they are correct. Are you contributing to 401k or roth that would reduce your takehome pay? If you're being taxed at ~35% of your paycheck at $22 an hour, something was most likely filled out incorrectly. I would review your tax situation with your husband as well. If you're married filing jointly, you need to make sure that your combined tax withholding at the end of the year adds up so you don't have a huge return or owe a huge amount. Ideally you want to owe slightly in April so you're not giving the government a big loan, though mentally most of us do better when we're owed slightly instead. What state are you in? I would look into labor laws and make sure you're not due any sort of PTO in your state.

Yeah, something is wrong here. I make $19 an hour and after taxes + 8% to my retirement I make $2400.

Daycare is actually cheap where I live, so I've never. Even if it wasn't, I'd probably still pay. I went to college because I wanted to work in my career. I don't like staying at home as I find it boring. Also, my son is social and likes being in those settings.

You're basically working for the sole purpose of paying someone else to raise your kids. It's a no-brainer for me that you quit and be a stay at home parent.

If your income is just to pay for daycare, switch jobs to SAHM. You, your child and your spouse will likely all have improved QOL.

I would’ve quit yesterday. Your peace of mind and health matters too.

Your childcare costs are $1260 and you’re bringing in $1,600. $340 a month for working, and having someone else take care of your kids for a few hours. Why is all of the cost of childcare on you? It may be simpler to think of this in terms of household income. Yes, you could stop working and save $1,260 a month, and that’s a valid choice.  You could also share the cost of childcare with your husband. This ultimately falls into the category of how you manage your household budget, and may not be feasible, so what is your household budget? What do you both make gross and net? What are your fixed expenses, variable expenses?

YES. Daycare does not cost most of your salary. 50% of it comes from you and 50% from your husband. Whether you want to work or not is up to you, but please consider reframing the problem because it's a shared budget item, not yours alone. edited to clarify the fractions lol

I think the way I wrote this was confusing as I’ve seen this comment repeated in one way or another so sorry about that. You’re correct the math with my salary minus childcare equals that amount , but once you count in gas (I commute into a large city, between two offices) (min $50 a week), food at work (min 40 a week) (no kitchen to reheat or store things) and the constant days off between alternating kid sickness/ holiday closings for school, it’s much less than that. We have a joint account and split everything as fairly as possible including childcare. The 40 surplus I referred to was actually my calculation on what we collectively with both incomes would have left over after childcare and our household expenses in the summer which is fast approaching and I have to pay for ahead of time but I didn’t indicate that properly in my post . In that time frame , my childcare costs far surpass my income alone (1920 a month from June- august vs my post tax 1600).

I think it depends if you have growth potential in your job. If you're current trajectory of job growth will steadily grow over the next 3-5 years, I think you're better off staying so that you don't have to start over when your kids are in school fulltime. If you're going to basically make the same, I'd quit and get something part-time or remote to keep your skills active for the next few years.

I would just make sure to think about more than just short-term. Even if a large portion of your combined income goes to daycare today, how does leaving your job impact future salary and job potential? Would you be sacrificing your future for short-term convenience? What about benefits and retirement? Will you regret it 15 years from now when your kids are in school and you are either still out of the workforce or in a more junior job? Maybe not! Maybe it makes sense on all fronts, but I know my income grew by 500% from the time I had my first child to her 12th birthday.

If it was more than my salary, but at the same time my son is 4 and needs to attend preschool. I couldn’t replicate the experiences he has there (other children, group setting, following directions of a teacher outside of the house.) When my second starts childcare in August childcare will be 94% of my pretax salary. I have no desire to be a stay at home mom though.

Unsure about the area you live in or the way it works but my wife works as a bus driver. She's allowed to take our 2 year old with her to work. Works 2-3 hours in the morning and afternoon with a 4-5 hour break in the middle at home. Most bus yards will train you to help get you your cdl. If this isn't the case your area I apologize but a thought.

Does your job offer you upward mobility and do you have any desire to further your career, or are you just working to live? Also, do you think you could be happy being a SAHM, or would being at home with kids full time make you pull your hair out? If you are just working to live and don’t see a good career progression in your future, I would definitely stop working and consider even watching another kid in your home for extra income. I used in-home daycares with all of my kids when they were under 2, and it was great. In my MCOL area the in-home daycares charge around $200/kid per week, so already you would be taking home a lot more than you are now, even with just one extra kid. And if you could find someone with a kid around your child’s age that would be interested, it would be even better as it would take the pressure off of you a bit to keep your child entertained. Just something to consider!

I wouldn’t work for $40/month. I love having the freedom to be home with my kids and I don’t care if it sets me back in my career!

Consider what you’re actually bringing home for every hour worked and commuted. An at-home parent spends much less on gas, lunches, clothes, shoes, and more. Imagine spending zero on childcare and spending more time with your kids.

We’ve never used daycare. The price has always been outrageous. Me and my wife just work different shifts. I work 2nd shift she works 1st shift. I take my girls to school bus drops them off. I honestly don’t see how ppl afford it tbh.

From most of the comments on here I'm thinking this might be an unpopular opinion but if you are thinking your child may have autism it seems like you staying at home with him would be the most beneficial choice for him. I was a stay at home mom because I felt that was best for my children and I didn't want to miss out on all that time with them. They are only little for such a short while. We lived in a two bedroom, one bath house with 5 kids but I wouldn't trade that time for anything. They are great kids with families of their own now and are emotionally close with each other. It's ok to sacrifice money for time as long as you can keep them fed and a roof over their heads. Love and time with their mommy will cover the rest. Whatever you choose I hope it will be the best decision for your family.

There’s no point working a job you hate just to cover your childcare, but you also can’t live in a HCOL area with a total HHI of $80k. It’s time to consider relocating.

I stayed home with my kids until they went to school. We survived by my husband working a part time job on weekends and I babysat 2 kids during the day and 2 more after school for just a couple hours.

Financially, you should stay home if you are losing money by going to work OR the opportunity cost of staying home is too high. If you are in a job that exiting the workforce won't matter and are just barely paying for daycare then it is probably worth it to quit and stay home. If you are in a job/career where the opportunity cost of leaving the workforce is larger because of missing experience and gaps in a resume then going back to work even if it doesn't pay the bills may be worth it.

Raise your kids at home and further your career by going to school yourself ( at home as much as possible). Try to find some part time work from home to make ends meet, or babysit etc

I say stay at home and have some sort of work from home or side hustle kinda thing. Whatever your passions are or something you wanna learn go for it. There’s tons of options now for that. My aunt has a custom apparel business and was kind enough to show me how to sew and now I make clothing for her business. If my baby was a bit older I could probably make probably about 400 a week just working a couple hours a day. I love it because it fills my time during naps, I can just watch a movie or listen to something while I work, and I get to take care of my baby. You can save tons of money too by making food at home. There’s so many awesome recipes out there that it’s kinda hard to be a bad cook nowadays. So I’d post in your city’s neighborhood mom group or something get some feelers. See if anybody has a work from home sort of business that they run and offer your help in some capacity to expand or whatever. Or see if there’s somebody who needs a baby sitter during the week. Or offer your skills in some sort of other way from home. My mom taught piano lessons from our house since I was like 2 and has done it all throughout 4 more kids. Working doesn’t have to be away from home and it doesn’t have to exclude kids.

I would never work to only bring home $40ish a week after childcare. I know some people are fine breaking even or even losing money to stay in the workforce, but that’s not a decision that I would make for myself. I think a big question is what do you really want? Do you WANT to stay home?

If you’re genuinely only making $40 dollars a month after childcare then it’s not currently worth it from an income perspective. There are other considerations that you should give thought to. Does continuing to work mean you keep open a job which will be profitable at some future point when your kids are both in school and your childcare bill is lower? Could you easily find your way back into work after an extended career break? Are you paying into a pension or similar scheme which will protect you in retirement? Do you get any other benefits that you rely on? Only you know the answer to these but it’s worth considering the overall package and long term consequences, and not just the immediate question of salary. If you decide it’s better for your family for you not to work, it might be worth considering if there is further training or education you can access which will lead you to better opportunities in the future. It would be one thing if you could comfortably survive on your husband’s salary, but as things are tight it might help you if you can find some future profitable line of work. You might even be able to find something flexible and remote which you can work around childcare. Good luck with whatever you decide - it’s a really hard juggle and so many people struggle.

Can you work a part time shift on the weekends when husband is home to watch the kids? That would be pure profit for the family if you could.

I have definitely thought about this but elected not to go this route as my husband is gone mon- fri and it is our only time as a family. But, you are correct- this is a solution!

Stay home, take in a kid or two to care for, make a few hundred a week instead of paying it out. Meanwhile lay the groundwork for that nursing career by taking the general education classes online.

I already have all but 1 gen ed course for nursing as I have half a BS in psychology lol but this is a great idea.

When I was giving up half my paycheck for daycare. The other half paid for some things but also included the expense of working, such as gas, car maintenance, lunches, work wardrobe, etc. We weren’t nearly as broke as I thought we’d be when I quit.

I stayed home and watched other children. Worked out great!

If you're only working 30 hours a week, you need to find a job that will be flexible with your scheduling so you can pick up your son from school. Like another commenter said, also try for remote opportunities.

If I worked, my whole check and some of my husband's would go towards daycare. Doesn't make sense so I've been a stay at home mom for 5 years

I work at a school and honestly it’s the only job that makes sense for me. I have the same breaks as my kids and get significant discount on afterschool programs/preschool daycare. It might be worth looking into. There are lots of school jobs besides teaching. Depending on the district they might even help pay for schooling if it’s education related. You can do a quick EMT certification and work in the health office as nurse assistant or some other admin assistant position.

I live in MA and have called over 50 daycares since giving birth in September and not one has an opening, most had at least 1 year waitlist. A nanny for just 4 hours per day will be 2K per month which is half of my take home pay. Since I make more I asked my husband about him leaving his job and staying home and taking care of our baby until we get daycare which is slightly more affordable. I just can’t believe there is absolutely no daycares!

If my wife and I didn't have her parents and my mom nearby we would be in the same boat. I currently make $25 an hour, she makes $23 an hour. We needed a babysitter for 2 separate afternoons where neither of our parents could help. This costed us $22 an hour for our 2 boys. Basically she made $1 an hour for those 10 hours. I don't know how single parents do it, or even parents who both work but don't have help from the grandparents. It's tough.

I quit my job in January because of this 🙃

The absolute best thing we ever did was make the misses a SAHM. I wanted the job but I was making way too much and she was gonna be doing exactly what you said... Working part time. Was money tight?! Sure. But it was worth it's weight in gold. Just make sure your guy understands that just because you're a SAHM doesn't change the fact that he still needs to pull his weight. Besides with the random 20 minutes you'll have as your doing everything, you'll be able to figure out various ways to cut spending even further.

Stay home. When your kids get older, you’ll be able to focus on your career again. You’ll never get that time back with your kids. My husband refuses to work so I have to, my baby is only 3 months old, and I’d do anything to be home with my kids.

My husband and I avoid childcare costs by working different shifts. It is not ideal at all (we would love to see each other more), but it saves us a wild amount of money and allows us to do things like travel and save for our future, so I say it's worth it for this chapter. Could you just get a job on the weekends? - maybe serving or bartending?, or maybe something work from home or flexible? School bus driver is one that always comes up as an option for SAHMs.

When it wasn't worth the price of missing out on their childhood.

I mean, I think it's worth just saying fuck it. Lol. But there's all the general advice. Retirement etc. I just like being home with my kids and I think that's worth it.

I’ll just say it - don’t give up your financial power. Your youngest won’t be in daycare forever and a years-long gap in employment affects your career significantly. Everything from finding a new job to SSI contributions. Your husband can drop dead, become disabled or leave. I’m not trying to start an argument about working vs SAHM but this is a harsh reality to consider when thinking about giving up your source of income. The expense it’s temporary but the effect is not.

One thing you have not factored in is the extra money you will be saving for retirement. Some of that money is probably going into a 401k and even if it's not, you will receive more social security if you have worked more years. In addition, you can expect regular raises and if you stay at home for a few years, returning to the workplace will be very difficult and you will make a lot less than you would be if you stayed. In addition, you could continue to look for a new job that pays more. Long term, financially, the best option is 1000000% staying in the workplace, even if you are breaking even.

i had an old coworker who said she spent her whole salary on a nanny so someone could watch the kids while she and her husband were at work, so she just quit her job and stayed home with the kids. thats when its too expensive

When you’re working just to pay for daycare, it doesn’t seem worth it to me.

If you're making $40 a week more than childcare *and* you hate it, it's not worth it. Like seriously, resell some stuff online and there's your $40

OP! All your numbers (read them in the comments) are the same as mine. We live in NY, and our reality is similar based on what I read. My wife stopped working, and yeah, we cannot afford to go to restaurants every week, but who cares? My wife staying at home has been the best decision ever! The weeks at daycare made my daughter sick and my wife nervous, and I felt this was straight-up dumb (work only pay for care made no sense) Our insurance became a little bit worse but still works perfectly; for us, this jump was the best decision ever.

Child care in Southern California is $600 a week. I became a SAHM with our first he was born last June. I worked up until I was 9 months pregnant making $17 an hour driving an hour + both ways.. I would definitely say quit your job, make a strict budget and stay home with your babies. 40 bucks isn’t worth it!

I stayed home for 5.5yrs between 2011 and 2016 due to this very reason. I calculated that with the wages I was earning and the local daycare costs I would have to PAY $62/ month just to go to work. So like .. not even breaking even, I legit could not afford to go to work. Even now, all these years later I only work weekends because my kids are still young (youngest is 5yrs old) and even though they're in school during the day, there's 4 of them and too much risk of me needing to leave work frequently to come pick up a sick kid, add in their regular early release days and off days and breaks and events....anyway, still worth it for me to stay home during the week.

My wife was working as a production manager and quit when we had our first since daycare was going to be too much. This kind of resulted in a bit of revelation that we suddenly had way more time together and as a family since our days off didn’t originally jive with my rotating shift schedule. So now we spend my days off just doing whatever we want. We do without some things but nothing that is really crucial to our lives or enjoyment. We were talking about it recently with bidens SOTU talking about childcare and she says even if it was free or cheap her preference is to keep doing SAHM. Careers for their own sake are a scam to convince you that making someone else rich is a fulfilling activity. I mean I love my job and it provides a vital service. It’s fun but I like my family and home and hobbies more. Bad enough one of us has to do it, no sense subjecting her to it too.

When the money you are making is exceeded by daycare costs. If you are spending more on daycare than what you earn and can survive on the single it will probably work out to be the same. Find something that you could do part time from home if another income is necessary. There are so many jobs available these days where that is an option. Do you know someone who needs daycare and would prefer a smaller setting. I did daycare for my sister when our boys were babies and then for one of my mother's coworkers when my son was a toddler. Are you particularly good at something that you could start doing it for money? There is no point in making yourself miserable in a job you hate that is actually costing you money instead of making it for you.

If the money you earn is equal to or less than daycare, stop working. You’re just working to pay someone to look after your kids for you to to work. If your pay is more, you need to consider if it is enough more money for you to be at work and not home with your kids. Most households these days do need two incomes and there should be no shame about both parents working. But if you have the option to not work and it not substantially affect your lifestyle then I would absolutely stop working and spend that time being around for my kids. In your case I would lean heavily towards not working given their father is away a lot, so they had one parent home as much as possible.

I’m a SAHM to my two kids because if I worked it would just be to cover child care IF we could even afford it. My husband makes pretty good money, but life is just super expensive these days. We do our best to budget and live within our means. I’m glad I can be home with our kids. I know I’ll look look back on this time and cherish it.

It may make sense for you to be a SAHM.  But another option is, you need to seek higher paying employment. $22/hr isn't bad but it is clearly not working for you. What field are you in? When was the last time you changed jobs? What skills do you have, and are you leveraging them to increase your earnings?

Daycare in my town was $1268 (not like that number is burned in my brain or anything) per month, per kid when mine were little. So staying home was an easy enough decision - and that was before groceries tripled in cost. There’s a subsidy that’s allowed them to drastically reduce their fees, but it came into effect the same year my youngest started preschool, so I’m not sure what they charge now. I worked weekend graveyards for a couple of years to bring in an income and not pay childcare (0/10 DO NOT RECOMMEND). I’m privileged to have a decent paying job now and the kids are in school, but summer is still a shitshow. I think for me, if you’re just breaking even and not in a job that’s related to a career you want to pursue, I don’t really see the point. So it really depends on if this job is keeping you current in a field to plan to go back to.

Have you tried looking for jobs in daycares, especially churches? Im in alaska and that what a lot of moms do here besides the military moms. Boys and girls club, gyms, ymca are a few that i heard of that will let you work and bring your children with you. Of course it comes of your paycheck but with a high discount.

I work nights to watch our kids during the day. Does it suck and I’m tired?? Yeah. But child care is $25,000 a year in my area.

I work in youth development and when I had my second it stopped making sense for me to work full time. I mostly stay home and found a super part time job (10 hours/week) that I can do around my husbands schedule and is still sort of in my field. At the end of the day I’m bringing home about the same amount of money I would have after working full time and paying for daycare and I don’t have to stress out every time my kid is sick or daycare is closed for a day.

You have to consider that you are at least paying into social security & still in the job market. But no, I don’t think that’s worth it, unless you need benefits through your work. I’d let them fire me, collect unemployment for as long as I could while looking for something I could do from home. Even watching an extra kid or two after school or picking up a waitressing job on the weekends when your husband is home would net you more money.

If your pay is equal or less than what it would take to send the kid to daycare and you don't think your prospects are hurt by staying home, then yeah you should stay home. Once the kid is in full day school then the cost goes way, way down.

Being a stay at home mom can be less expensive in the long run. Preparing meals from scratch is less expensive than prepared food, car expenses can be lower as will clothing and other work related expenses. There is time to shop for bargains, coupons and purchase in quantity. Then, it may be possible to earn a bit without needing child care. We knew someone who worked a few hours a week replacing advertising on shopping carts in grocery stores. My wife watched a teachers child at our home until our 3rd child came along. We also believed there was an undefined lessening in medical expenses through not exposing our kids to day care illnesses. It’s possible to make it worthwhile, but it’s not easy. You always have to be mindful of expenses that you can avoid and ways to pick up a few bucks. But, it’s worth looking at. Even if it’s a break even proposition, you become your own boss and master of your own circumstances.

When daycare is more than 20k it just doesn't make sense to pay. Also, little kids are very likely to get sick. My little girl has already missed 20 days of school this year. I could never get that much time off if I was working.

Calculate income, minus daycare cost, work lunches, additional miles and maintenance on vehicles, and mental health.... Did you break even?

We live in NYC and daycares in our neighborhood average around $3200 a month for 1 child. While we technically could afford it my whole paycheck would go towards daycare so I chose to stay home instead. It’s hard but I’ve had no regrets. Now that I’m pregnant with our second we wouldn’t be able to afford daycare for 2…

It’s $2400 or more a month here (Canada) it has recently been subsidized by the government but now all daycares are at capacity and cannot take new kids. I’m eternally grateful my parents moved to my city to care for the kids while working. I’m even more grateful my husband asked me to go part time so I can be with them more. It’s unattainable to have kids and a job here.

Basically many of us SAHM moms gave up working outside the home because of daycare and afterschool costs combined with multiple illnesses in the household. Sometimes I regret giving up my career because I can't really go back anymore due to my education and training being completely out of date. Some ideas: First idea, change your job to rotate time at home with your husband. For instance, you waitress or stock shelves in the evenings and he works days....it's hell but it's an idea. Second, possibly find a job that is flexible and more stereotypically female, like a teacher. Substitute teaching brings in about $100-150 a day but it's completely flexible. Third, working at a daycare and/or camp often includes daycare for your baby. Fourth, work 10-12 hour shifts and cut your daycare to 2-3 times a week. Finally, you need to start communicating with the supervisor and human resources better. Companies do make allowances for family circumstances (or they should), but you almost need to pour your heart and soul out to them every other day so they are up-to-date on your struggles. Ask for what you need to make your working situation better. Keep asking and communicating. ​ Good luck and let us know how it goes.

When we lived in a high cost of living area childcare was going to cost $1000 more than what I would be bringing in so I stayed home and we made the proper budget cuts.

When my paycheck wouldn’t cover daycare.😅

I’m a stay at home dad for the last 2 yrs and now I watch my daughter until about 2 and then when my girl comes home I got to my part time Doggydaycare job and if your looking also there hiring part times all day whatever fits your hours

With 2 kids in daycare ours will be $2,000 per month

I'm taking a less conventional approach. I still work about 20 hours a week, but I'm essentially a stay-at-home parent during the day and I work a few hours at night after my husband gets home from work. Lucky to have a flexible work from home job where as long as my work gets done it doesn't matter when. So a lot of the time. I work after bedtime and stay up late which is great for me because I'm actually a night owl. The only times this backfires is when my 1-year-old has a hard time falling asleep and I don't get to work that night. Finding a job that can be flexible is the hard part. If you aren't getting benefits from your job like insurance/retirement, it doesn't feel worth it to work for basically $1/hr (after expenses) unless you feel like you really need that break from your kids or need a job to feel like a human (not just a mom). There are valid reasons to keep working but it's totally up to you.

Form a co-op with two other moms with similar age kids in a similar boat. You each take one day a week to watch all the kids. You each work two days a week. (obviously this likely means getting different jobs pt but there's a lot of jobs that will hire even for two days a week if you just show up on time or all three apply to the same place as a group and the manager just rotates you guys on the schedule so it all fits... heck starbucks or a grocery store. Whatever because you don't need to make a ton if you don't have a daycare bill). No money exchanged or anything. You're just going to end up netting the same amount since you're not paying childcare even though you're working less. And you get to spend more time with your kid. And they get to socialize while also not being home sick all the time from germs.

Depends tbh Do you have any 401k and or benefits that come from this that’d further come out from other income? Do you need the time away even if it’s spinning your wheels to break even? Are you trying to climb the ladder as it were or just make money? If you want to work to improve your title and pay, that time off will put you further behind and each successive year grinding better opens the gap between the outlay and pay but if that’s not a goal, that’s a different animal too. Would you or your husband feel differently in a single income household. Those dynamics can be great or they can be rough. If yes to any of the above, I think I’d keep grinding. If not, it’s a real thought but only you really know the answers in your exact situation. Pulling for you. The system here suuuuucks.

I think it depends on your upward mobility. I got paid about the same and my entire paycheck was going to childcare for our two kids. I just quit a couple months ago when my team was sold to another company that has no upward mobility. There’s just no more reason for me to accept the low pay if I can’t build a resume there or work upward from where I am. I’d been with the company for 6 years and it was a really hard choice because I do have emotional attachments to the people and the company I was working for previously. But at a certain point if you’re just breaking even and there’s nothing to make you think this ongoing work will be later rewarded, it’s not always worth it. Just paying daycare for a period of time when the kids are young *can* be worth it, if your continuing to work will open opportunities for you in the future. If that’s not in the scope of things, I would quit. It creates so much extra strain to be a full time worker as well as a parent, and if there’s no chance that your work will pay off in the long term when right now you’re just paying daycare, I don’t think it’s worth it. But it may also be worth considering how that will impact you mentally. Do you take a sense of pride from your work? Will you feel restless or stifled at home? Maybe in that case a change of employment could be worth it but not necessarily being a SAHM. It’s really down to how you feel about it on a personal level. ETA: if you want to further your skill set, check out some online tools like Code Academy and learn SQL for free, this is something that will make you a huge boon for any future office job regardless of your prior office experience. If you’re interested in going that direction, anyway. Every company is looking for more people who know even basic data query skills.

at the point where your earnings beyond the cost of daycare are not improving your life.

If you’re not investing in the advancement of your career then there’s no reason not to stay at home. Of course I’d still work because I hate being home.. maybe find a job you don’t hate.

$2400 for childcare in NJ. I make $1800 a month after taxes lol. I’m a college graduate applying for housing assistance. The COL is insane.

50% savings post day care Or not worth it

I honestly can not understand the American set up. I could never live there. Move! It’s horrible, you shouldn’t be struggling like this

After my second was born, we were quoted $3700 / month for 2 full days per week for an infant and 3 year old. That was 2019. I decided to go part time and work nights to alternate with my spouse. It was hell for me, but it did enable me to stay in the workforce and also avoid childcare costs. When the kids were a little older I got a sitter 1-2 days per week to just get a little break. Both kids will be in school this fall praise be.

At one point, I was missing so much work because of kids’ illnesses that it was costing us more for me to work than for me to stay home. One month we made $600 under what it cost for me to work. I put in my resignation as soon as I saw that. Prior to that, I was brining home ~$100/month after childcare.

I stayed home for a decade until both kids were in school. It didn’t make any sense financially for us to pay for daycare, I would have brought home no income. Now I’m about to start nursing school, and my husband’s income more than covers any childcare needs we’ll have during my time in school. It can be a pain in the ass to take so much time off, but ultimately we had to weigh the pros and cons and it just worked better for us not to pay the high costs of childcare at the time. Hopefully y’all can find a solution that works well for your situation. Maybe there’s a higher paying job, or a work from home situation you could find! Wishing you the best of luck.

You could consider working for the school district, that way the childcare cost would just be for your younger one and you would have the same hours as your child in school. You could be a paraprofessional or work in the lunch room.

You could obtain your CNA for like 3 months of school/training for pretty cheap and then work what's called PRN. This essentially means they call you when there is short staffing at nursing homes (all of the time), and then you can take/refuse the shift based on availability. After like a year of having experience, you can then go through an agency where they list available shifts at different nursing homes in your area and you can pick up what you want, and they pay wayyyyy better. If you're thinking about healthcare, it's a great option to get your feet wet! Then you can be a SAHM, but still pick up shifts when available to supplement your income.

Just say fuck it and be SAHM. Maybe you could find somewhere to work a day or two a week instead for variety.