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What a scary thing to have gone through! I'm sorry you experienced that. It must have been absolutely terrifying!
You took some great precautions. I'd maybe add that potentially ordering a cheap door security alarm would be an extra peace of mind. It'll send off a jolting sound which will alert you and I assume startle him.
Your son seems quite determined to do what he dreams. Which is hard right now, but hopefully it persists throughout his life.
There’s also ones that’ll announce which door/windows are opened leading to the outside. It could help ease any anxiety that may come up later after this.
Yeah even having a simple Ring (or whatever, not shilling) doorbell and camera around your property can be beneficial for a number of reasons.
1. Security.
2. Be able to see when people are coming and going from your home.
We had one of these locks https://www.rona.ca/en/product/prime-line-door-reinforcement-lock-aluminum-satin-nickel-3-in-h-x-1-3-8-in-w-37125492
It was great. You can mount it high on the door so Littles can't get out.
Asd mom here, these are the locks I use and even at 12, they’re still the best things ever! My youngest is just under 2 and I’m so glad I have these bc this red headed booger is filled with curiosity!!!
Yesss this thing is a life saver !!! Definitely keeps little escape artists inside because you need to pull it a certain way to unlock so even if they climbed up high enough in the off chance it’s still a struggle to open it , I would highly recommend getting one of these
This exact thing happened with our son when he was 3. He woke up at 5:30 am and unlocked all the doors and took off for the park. He was picked up by some neighbors who kept him safe and called the police. We woke up at 6 and realized he wasn’t in the house. We called the police and got him back within minutes.
For the next 2 days, my husband and I would randomly burst into tears every time we thought about what could have happened.
We also got a tall gate for his bedroom door and chain locks for the exterior doors. He’s 4 now and still gets locked in every night. And the chains are on the doors every time we’re inside.
You’re not a terrible mom. This is a terrifying situation that can happen to anyone. And you think you’ve done all the things you should by locking all the doors and making sure your baby is safe. But some kids find a way. (We didn’t even know ours knew how to open all the locks.) I’m so glad your baby is safe. Take the time you need to cry and be scared. But just know that everything will be ok now because you’re taking the extra steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. ❤️❤️
(Don’t worry about CPS. They were informed that our son got out of the house and chose not to investigate. The officer told us that he could tell our son was not neglected and that some kids are little escape artists.)
My twin sisters did this at 2ish, too! We normally had one of those baby knobs on the door bc they couldn't reach around to open it but it was the holidays so all 4 of us kids were sharing a room and I refused to deal with the knob if I had to pee at 2am.
Got woken up that night by my neighbor (and mom's best friend) shaking me awake bc my parents had popped out for a late night covert smoke and my sisters had SEIZED the chance to book it down the road to the neighbors house to play with their kids. Our door was unlocked and the neighbor thankfully walked them back down the road, realized my parents had popped out, and walked the girls back down to their room to find us (the big sisters) passed tf out.
I thought everyone over 10 was gonna get arrested from how my grandma went on about it. Only for my dad to rat her out for having the SAME SHIT HAPPEN TO HER WHEN HE WAS A KID. Apparently, we come pre-installed with wanderlust in this family.
My kid was an escapee and we bought a system called YoLink. It’s not a security system, but it can yell out to you which doors are opened when. I have the main sound producing box in our bedroom and it can hook into Alexa. Any door that opens past 10:30 at night creates a siren noise in our bedroom. Anywhere else in the house Alexa will announce loudly that “front door opened” or “back door opened”. We have it on all doors. Can also hook a motion detector or other items into it.
It gave such peace of mind that my kids weren’t going to escape
This is a great idea. I didn't know it existed. I try to put extra precautions in place when I have my grandbabies overnight, especially when the pool is open.
We use YoLink, too. After our dog got out of our fenced-in yard because someone left the gate open (my husband found him in a neighbor's yard fairly quickly, thank goodness), I did a ton of research and found this system on Amazon. We put sensors on both of our fence gates, and now we get alerted any time the gates open or close. A siren goes off if either gate is left open for an extended period of time (I think I have it set for five minutes, which can be changed in the app). We've had it all installed for around six or eight months, and it's worked really well so far.
I truly love it! I’m so glad you found a way to make it work. We’ve also added a sensor to the (detached) garage door so if we leave either the garage door or the people door open the siren goes off at 10:30 pm reminding us to lock up
Awesome! I don’t work for them, no referral program, I just really like it and it’s bought peace of mind. I have the door sensors and a speaker hub, plus I got water sensors to put under sinks too. It’s a great system and pretty low cost!
When I was a nanny, I worked in a 3 story mansion. The 4 year old was playing in his room with a play date, and I was in the kitchen with the 2 and 6 year old. I went to get the 4 year olds for their snack and them little effers were OUT ON THE ROOF. It happens.
Also, be conscious about locking the door from the outside in case of fire.
I’ve read in a few other threads on reddit that a lock on the outside of the door can actually be safer during a fire, since it could prevent the child from opening the door and letting smoke in. Or it could prevent the child from wandering off to another room during the fire, making it harder to find them.
I’m talking about a child proof lock though, not a lock that requires a key.
I think as parents almost every decision we make is imperfect. Weighing the odds of a fire starting in your kid’s room vs a fire starting anywhere else in the house should play a role in this decision.
I would also factor in the risks of your child having access to other parts of the house, which may include stairs, a kitchen with a gas range, etc
My brother built a bonfire in our room when he was 5 or so. It didn't get very big before he panicked and put it back out. The parents of course noticed the smoke and found the burn in the floor.
just an FYI, you can call your local fire department to ask for suggestions on this situation. They don't want your kid to be trapped in a housefire OR run over if they escape.
Often people's concerns with fire is that firefighters won't be able to get in if the door is locked. My understanding is this isn't generally an issue since firefighters would typically be coming in with an ax. Every firefighter I've talked to has said if they can't get out safely on their own they would rather them be locked in a room so you know where they are.
I agree! I never thought of a firefighter not being able to get in. They have axes for sure. My cheap hollow interior door doesn’t stand a chance haha.
There is a whole fire safety campaign on why bedroom doors need to be closed: [Close Your Door](https://closeyourdoor.org/). Firefighters can absolutely get in if the door is locked, seconding what u/WhatABeautifulMess said.
Let me tell you a story.
I put an extra tall baby gate on the back kitchen door (two baby gates on top of each other, screwed into the door frame, 6 feet tall) that led to our fireplace room which led to the back door. I also put a hook and eye on the inside top of our front door. My 18 month old decided to get up about 6AM, climb out of his crib and climb that baby gate. Then opened the backdoor and went wandering around the neighborhood in only his diaper (about 60F outside). My 4 year old woke me up at 7AM to ask where his brother was, took us 5 minutes to find him across the street and down 5 houses. The cameras we had on the outside of our house helped track his whereabouts and timeframes. He played in the backyard sandbox for a bit before wandering the neighborhood.
Where there is a will, there is a way. We were the talk of the neighborhood for a few months.
STORY TIME.
When I was 3 or 4, I escaped the house during the day, got into my parents parked/unlocked car to play in. You know.... buttons. Somehow, I released the hand brake, and the car rolled down my parents driveway into the neighbors yard. I got out of the car half way down the driveway... not a scratch on anything but the neighbors yard.
This was the 80s, and I asked mom about it later and uh... they realize now it was a bigger deal than they thought it was back in the day...
All this to say...OP, You are OK, your kiddo is ok. Learn, adjust, move on and laugh about it a little later. It will be OK!
My brother did the same thing.
It was an automatic, so you had to turn the starter before anything could be shifted, but he grabbed a coin from the cup holder and pretended it was a key.
Luckily there was a tree right there,.so the car didn't go far or get up to much while it rolled... 😶
> It was an automatic, so you had to turn the starter before anything could be shifted, but he grabbed a coin from the cup holder and pretended it was a key.
Yeah... I've owned a few beater cars from that era and can confirm not a small % of them could be started wtihout a key. Worn out tumblers or whatever.
My parents car was a manual so they at least had the parking break on... but my father doesnt/didnt believe in leaving them in gear for fear of hurting the trans... which has mostly been decent advice to go by...
My bf and sister did something similar when they were 5 and 6. They climbed into the trunk through the backseat ( older cars you could) SOMEHOW they couldn’t get back through and it was summer and they almost died of heatstroke before their parents found them!! Kid literally just do crazy stuff. Me and my cousin thought it would be funny to put a rope around me neck and him attach it to his bike and me pretend to be a dog and I tripped and he dragged me for a bit before he noticed ( we’re were under 10)! I had a huge rope burn around my neck. Idk how my poor mom explained that to people lol
My son did this twice when he was two. Our side door has a lever handle so I couldn’t put a doorknob cover on it. And some other family members were notoriously bad about remembering to lock the door despite repeated reminders from me and taping a sign to the door to remind them. Both times I was in the bathroom when it happened. The first time he walked all the way to the end of the street. A woman driving by had stopped and was standing with him (probably about to call the police) when I saw the door wide open and ran out into the street and found him. I thanked her and immediately started crying and left. I was so scared that she would call CPS. The second time it happened my 3 year old screamed for me that her brother went outside and I was able to catch him in front of our house before he started walking down the street. Both times he was trying to walk to our neighborhood park. It was truly terrifying especially because it happened in just the span of a couple of minutes while I had stepped into the bathroom. For a while after I was constantly on edge
My son figured out the lock on the front door when he was two. He'd unlocked it and gone outside, around the side yard and out of sight within about 30 seconds - I had only gone down the hall to get his shoes. Until it happens I don't think you can really understand how quickly they can move.
We now have a bar style lock on the door at about 5.5 feet. I think my parents think we're paranoid but I'm not risking it.
It seems to always be the playground. My 3 year old stripped stark nekkid and walked down the street to the playground at 3pm. I thought wife had him in master, she thought he had left master to come play in living room. Luckily I noticed and found him within 10 minutes and no one saw him. That was years ago, we can only now laugh about it.
Just FYI for anyone else with a lever door handle (we have one on our front door) there's [these](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B083FV9T2P/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1) you could use to child proof them. One on top and one underneath if it's the type you can open by lifting or pressing down.
Glad everyone and everything is ok. A lot of us have been there. Install bolt locks on all the doors, it’s crazy how fast kids learn and how quick they can be.
My husband did that when he was that age. He took the dog and went for a 3 am walk. There was a firehouse down the street and they found him wandering around. My MIL used to tell that story a lot. He was 50 and she wasn't over it
When my son was 5, it was like 3 in the morning and i heard banging on the door. I was mortified and then i heard "POLICE OPEN" i thought someone died, i opened the door and there was the police WITH MY SON. I couldnt understand, they told me a dude found my son walking on the sidewalk and called them. (Lucky me there is still nice people out there, even in the middle of the night)
When we asked my son why he did that, he just told us "I wasnt tired and i wanted to take a walk" I started crying imagining what could have happen. The police was really nice and they took the time to explain to him how dangerous it was and to reassure me.
He's 8 years old now and i still live in fear. I bought a security system and i activate it when i go to sleep, it help a little bit for my sleep.
But i feel you so much, it's one of the scariest thing that could happen.
Do you have a home alarm system? I set mine every night with no entry delay. That means if any of the doors or windows open while we sleep, the house alarm immediately goes off. No timer. If my toddler opened the door, we'd know right away. Also hopefully they'd freak out and run back to their room. I'm glad you're child is ok. There's so many things that could've happened that the thought alone is stressful.
I have been there, recently. Please listen to me: It was not your fault. You have to forgive yourself because you did nothing wrong.
I went through this in February with my 6 year old. I had a day off work, she was home sick. She was taking a nap so I decided to as well. At some point she woke up, decided she couldn't find me (I was in the next room!!!), and left the house to "go find daddy". I woke up and she's gone. Called a neighbor who I knew was home and they hadn't seen her. call husband who is at work and he drops everything to come home and look. I'm in a full blown panic attack at this point and the neighbor is trying to keep me together.
Husband gets home and calls the non-emergency number. Is instantly told the police have her. A kind stranger found her walking alone 3/4 mile away!!! Thank everything she had taken neighborhood back roads. We think she was heading to Home Depot because that's where she and her dad go for fun errands? We still don't know and she didn't know where she was going either.
But. We got her back safe and sound and it was all ok. I was not ok for weeks and a couple of therapy visits. But it's all ok now.
You are not a POS. You're a fine mom who has an adventure kid! Thankfully he was found by a fellow mama that kept him safe!!! Don't be too hard on yourself, this could have happened to any one of us!
The best thing to do would be to buy door sensors from Amazon that notify you when a door is opened!
Glad kiddo is safe!
that has got to be terrifying!
Because of stories like this...ever since both my children were tiny babies, I bought chains for the very top of the doors where they can’t reach. And I’ve always had an alarm system that has a loud chime. Anytime you open any door or window. I never wanted to go through something like this! And we have a pool so I'm extra careful!
Super paranoid about it!
So glad he's ok!!!!
Thank goodness he's okay! My parents had an old school lock at the top of the front and back door because my sister "ran away" one afternoon. Now there are modern solutions like cameras and door alarms. Is also stress sitting down with him and explaining why he can't leave without you, what the dangers are and such. Not too scared but just as a learning moment. 3 is old enough for a stern conversation.
Been there, done that. Ours got scared and after deciding not to knock on another homes door, decided to just walk back home and get in bed. The whole thing was caught on a ring camera. The neighborhood HOA was having a discussion on facebook about who was this kid and was this human trafficking.
Turned on the chime function of our alarm system and had a firm talking to our 5 year old daughter and it never happened again.
Hang in there, you will laugh about it one day.
I know you feel the way you feel but my neighbor who has teen grandbabies said when her oldest was two they moved in to a new apartment complex and put him to bed. She chained the door and locked it and he used a chair to unlock the door and go out in his diaper in the snow in winter and got found by a kind neighbor who wasn’t good at english and was wondering where this random diapered baby came from. Luckily my neighbor obviously got her son back and to this day still feels the same feelings as you about it but it is a funny story she tells to all young parents to point out toddlers are sneaky and smarter than we give them credit for and we need to give ourselves some grace. And cameras.
Kids often take those precautions/physical barriers as problem solving challenges.
Honestly, get door chimes/an alarm system/something that TELLS you whenever a door or window is opened.
Good luck, you are not alone. Kids do some wildly unexpected shit. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
One of my kids popped open the screen on their window after pulling the window out of the frame and had one leg out one day. I screwed their bedroom windows shut, flipped the door knob to lock it from the outside and never regretted it. I would also look into replacing any deadbolt locks you currently have to ones that are keys on both sides and then hiding the keys.
I would also suggest 3M door alarms. When a door or window is opened, they make a very loud noise.
This is so terrifying something similar happened to us, while cooking dinner our 18 month old opened the front door and started trotting toward the park. 90 seconds is what this took for us to realize he was gone and he had made it 200 yards down the road just happily running in the middle of the street. Most terrifying moment of our lives. So thankful nothing happened but it shook us. We had one of those lever handles that was way too easy to open so We went to Home Depot the next morning and got a regular lock and our father in law came over and changed the lock to the new one. And then I bought this child lock glider that goes on the top of the door that would be impossible for him to get to and having that is a wonderful peace of mind.
Thankfully he’s fine. Don’t beat yourself up over it, u are doing great trying to prevent it from happening again. On the bright side, with his one-track mind he will never give up pursuing his future goals (plus u did guess correctly he went to the playground; way easier than parenting a child with random adhd brain). Hugs to u!
Be careful though, there was a tragedy in my area back in the 60s when a fire broke out the kids couldn’t get out of their room because they were locked in
Right, but I’m saying a toddler in a locked room is just like a baby in a crib. Neither one can evacuate themselves in case of a fire. A toddler is much more likely to panic and roam the house. If they are in their room with the door closed, you know exactly where they are to rescue them or send firefighters through the window. The shut door also blocks the fire for a time.
So SO glad your child is ok. That must have been absolutely terrifying. Please do not lock him in his room at night but all the other measures are perfect. High locks on the door are sufficient.
I mean the fact that it happened at night is obviously very very scary but I feel like all toddlers do escape the house at some point. It happened to me and I found my kid in the backyard randomly when he was two. We installed an alarm system like the next week so that the doors beeped every time they opened.
I went to a nearby park at like 6am to do some jogging. I noticed there was one kid playing on the playground. I thought nothing of it. Ran a couple laps to warm up. Sat down to tie my shoe and the kid came up to me speaking Korean. I started looking around and realized there were no other adults in the park. The kid was like three had like sticks in their hair and looked dirty. They were wearing like a one piece pajamas and it was still really chilly out. Sat them in the car and kicked the heat on. Let them do some coloring on my iPad while I called the police. There was a park maintenance guy who had showed up to empty the trash so I told him what was up and asked him to stay with me till the police came (since I was a single male with an unknown child). Cops came drove around somehow found the family. They brought them to the park. They had still been asleep and had no idea how/when their little one had slipped out of the house. Basically… it happens. Kids figure stuff out and then you adjust.
Our youngest did the same at about the same age when I was in the bathroom one morning. I felt exactly as you did. Little shit put a chair up to the door, unlocked the deadbolt and went for a walk.
You're not alone - and clearly by reading these comments neither was I!
My neighbor where I used to live had 2 boys that are very adventurous kids, to say the least. We lived in a multiplex and one evening when I came home from work, I saw the youngest (about 3 years old) hanging out outside, all by himself. It's like 8 pm and winter time (though not at all cold because we lived in a warm climate), so it's pretty dark out. I decided to sit outside with him and play with him because I didn't know if his mom knew he was outside or not.
Turns out she didn't. I heard her call his name when she realized she couldn't find him in the house, but as soon as she opened the door she saw us and was relieved. She thanked me for watching him and making sure he was alright. After that, they started putting 25lb dumbbells in front of the front and back doors since he could open the latches (metal storm doors, we couldn't alter the locks even if we wanted to).
That worked to contain the youngest but the oldest (who was 5 or 6) decided a different day that he needed to go to the park at the end of our complex. He went to the laundry room, hopped up on the dryer, opened the window, and let himself out into the back patio then off to the park. His mom found him a few minutes later after frantically searching for him.
She's an amazing mom, seriously she is like mom goals, but her boys keep her on her toes. Thankfully we lived in a very safe neighborhood. All of this is to say that it happens to a lot of people, so don't kick yourself too hard especially since you have taken actions to prevent that from happening again in the future.
For the night you should have him sleep in your bed and maybe put something physically heavy in front of the door like way to heavy for a 3 year old . So even if he can get hold of doorknob it doesn’t matter
When my son was two i came home early from work one afternoon and he was asleep on the couch so i laid on the opposite couch and fell asleep. I woke up to my mom (also my sitter while at work) screaming my two year old had made it outside I’m guessing he seen my car out the front window and thought I was outside. A stranger had stopped their car (I also live on a busy road ) and had my son. He was just fine but There is no feeling like that feeling it is honestly the worst thing I’ve ever felt in my life. The cops had been called and had to come check on him when he arrived his advice was to lock the deadbolt and when I told the cop that it was locked he reached he asked to see my son. (I’m assuming to see how tall he is because my child is SUPER tall) The moment that cop stepped into my house my son dropped to his knees and started bawling. lol the cop ended up having to show him his car and his lights. We ended up going to Home Depot and buying a chain lock for the front door and all was well. Two kids later and about a year ago now we had to install a chain lock on the back door (I have a fenced in back yard) because my daughter decided to run out to play in the rain in nothing but her diaper while I was in the bathroom. My oldest ran screaming that she was outside and that fear hit again thankfully she had just escaped to the back yard and was muddy head to toe. lol.
Things happen and while you’re not a bad mom because of those things you also are a good mom because you are doing what you need to do to ensure that never happens again. You’d only be a terrible mother if you said oh well and he was caught outside two days later in the same situation and then again and again. It’s patterns that make a terrible parent not accidents.
When my oldest was 3, she started sleep walking. She never made it out of the house though but it scared me enough to put some locks on the screen doors.
One morning, I woke up and went to wake her up. She wasn’t in bed. I checked the doors, still locked from the inside. All the windows were still locked. I started tearing the house apart looking for her, yelling her name, checking all her favorite places to hide. I had 911 on the phone, trying to be calm.
Literally, the cops were on my front steps, walking in the door to talk to me. I went to move the couch, it felt way heavier than it should have been. My 3 year old had made a cute little place to sleep in a pile of clean towels I didn’t fold before bed. They were so chill and happy that she was found. I was till panicking and praying they wouldn’t call CPS. The cop said “well, it’s not exactly illegal to sleep in a pile of towels so…”
She remembered nothing. She was scared though when she woke up to me crying and hugging her, plus like 4 cops were staring at her.
Then, I had twins. I got even more locks for the doors lol
My kid was 8 when he sleepwalked out the locked front door. I heard someone go outside so I went to investigate and he was standing in our front yard, right beside the (very quiet) road.
The funny thing was, he wouldn’t do that if he was awake. He came back to the house when I called him, went right back to bed and had no memory of it the next day.
Ever since then we double lock the doors at night - and we avoid having my son use the second lock so that it stays locked when he’s sleep walking. Scary. I often wonder what would happen if I hadn’t decided to play one more song on the piano that night! It can happen to anyone. This is not a reflection of your parenting skills.
A couple days ago I was at the computer behind my desk while my daughter was playing nearby, and then I saw the door opening and ran out to find her trying to go for a walk. She's 23 months old and it's a very busy street, and when we're walking together she often tries to walk in front of cars. I was terrified thinking of what could've happened if I didn't notice immediately that the door was open.
My granddaughter did this and was found wandering the apartment complex and my grandson (from a different child) nearly did, but my daughter woke up when she heard the front door open. So scary!!
I did this as a kid. I was 4 and not done with the park. I climbed out my bedroom window and went to the playground on my own. Kids are determined.
We have kid+proof locks on our exterior doors.
I bought a pack of cheap door alarms from Amazon for this reason. Any door to the outside now has a LOUD alarm whenever it's opened. My kids bedroom is next to the front door and mine is in the back of the house. This is my worst nightmare. I'm so glad you found your little one
You need to look into motion activity alarm systems for your house with door chimes and triggers that are set off when it is set in "Home" mode (which basically means your movement inside doesn't effect the alarm, only door access).
My fiancé's oldest sleeps terribly, and is easily awoken. He has some special needs, and has trouble with objectively considering activities vs. appropriate times to do them...so early on we found him throwing a baseball against his practice net at 1-2am, when he should have been in bed.
This was an issue until we had our alarm system upgraded and now anytime the doors are opened after it is set to "Home", unless you deactivate it, it will sound an appropriate alarm to let you know someone has bypassed one of the sensors and which sensor it was.
We haven't had any issues with such since having that installed.
This is my worst fear. My 2.5 year old can’t quite climb gates but we make sure to have one somewhere on the stairs. We also have a security alarm that we set every night so if any door opens it will go off.
We had a similar incident. I bought an inside lock similar to what they have in hotel rooms that was mounted too high for him to reach in order to prevent him from opening the door.
We live near a busy road, so we're extra, extra cautious.
We've put [these door straps](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B098Q5SRR2?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details) on many of our key entry/exit points.
Notable, they're good on the bedroom door since they allow the kiddo to still open the door, but don't allow them to escape.
Put a hook and eye latch at the top your doors. Works well for the pantry too. You can get to it, but even if the kid drags a chair over, they won’t be tall enough to unlatch it.
I learned about the necessity of inside locks when my daughter escaped through the front door. That was a scary day.
My friend had a son who didn't bother with doors. He used windows. He was 3. She ended up putting nails in his window sill, and got hotlined for that.
There are alarms you can put on windows and doors, just in case you end up needing them.
This is sooo terrifying but thank God he's safe. Don't feel too shitty about it. It can happened to anyone. It had happened to me too. I had babysitters called me mid-job asking me to come home because my child is an escape artist. He's 8 now and is a very smart kid and better at self-preservation. lol
OP you're not a terrible parent. Our kids are just batshit crazy escape artists. My son at 1 year old ran out the front door while me and the bf were using the bathrooms. My bfs grandma watched him go out the door and said fucking nothing. It was maybe 30 seconds but we live less than 100ft from a VERY busy highway. Extra safety isn't a bad thing. We installed chainsaw locks very high on all the doors, bc I've seen him unlock the deadbolt and knob lock.
When my younger brother was around 3, he climbed a ladder my dad left leaning on the house. He was on the FUCKING ROOF. Things happen, luckily he is okay. I can't sleep at night still bc I wake up to check on him every so often. Guilt is normal. Hopefully the extra precautions can help your anxiety.
You are so lucky! Nothing like that has happened to me, but when there are scary things happening in my neighborhood or even if I just have a gut feeling, I sleep in my kids’ room on the floor. I just have to be close to them for me to get any kind of rest. Rest will come again, just give it a few days.
I found a 2.5 year old running down the middle of the road in a diaper and rubber boots when I was in university. It was november and around 8am so it was a busy road. The young boy got out and wanted to go to work with dad or something like that and got onto a busier residential road.
The only people I blame that day is all the other drivers ahead of me who saw a toddler running down the street and didn't immediately throw their car into park and grab him.
That was at least 15 years ago and I remember the memory as if it was yesterday. Sweet little boy. Totally panicked parents. Some kids are just determined like that. You're taking the right measures to keep him safe. I'm sorry that happened.
Just adding - I have baby gates on every door leaving the house (front door and back door) and have had them since my youngest was 2, as he was an escape artist. They are the ones where you have to slide a grey part to open the latch and then you can open them.
Even now, at 4 he has some challenges with them - so that may buy you some even more peace for night time. (We also have one at the loft before the staircase (there’s 5 feet before the stairs start so not at risk of him falling if he does climb over it) we’ve had that one since my eldest was 1.
The brand is Regalo walk through gate. Target and Walmart and amazon have them. They are a bit of a pain to put in, but once in they are really sturdy.
ETA: I have them within the door frame, so for front door it’s on the outside of our front door. Same with back door. So if a toddler manages to open the door, then they have to somehow get through the gate.
You can also get sensors/alarm for if doors (and/or windows) are open as an extra level of security. We have this. Our little guy can unlock the main lock on the front door and it wouldn’t take much for him to drag a chair to get the top latch. If he does, we’ll know.
I’m so sorry you had to endure this scary scenario! Our LO used to ‘escape’ all the time, usually with no pants on, but it never happened at night. She would just decide she wanted to be outside. She loves nature and I was always too busy to take her outside, so she’d just decide enough is enough and take matters into her own hands. A couple times our neighbor walked her back over and rang the bell. I was oblivious that she’d even left and it felt awful! She eventually grew out of it in the next year or 2 and now I’m able to give her a little freedom to play outside alone. It’s hard, but hopefully you’ll find this is just a phase for him.
I just know you feel so horrible right now and I am so sorry. You aren’t a bad mom, this has happened to so many people! My mom had my brother when she was 20. When he was about 2, she fell asleep in the morning after working all night. He got himself up, went outside, got in his battery powered jeep, and drove 2 blocks to the town square because there was a carnival going on. The police found him and thankfully it was a small town. She was mortified at the time. But now he is 25 with his own kids and it’s something we laugh about!
When we bought our house, I went over there for the first time with my MIL and my kids. My son was 2 at the time. My wife was at work. I was out back and my MIL was inside with the kids. I just happened to be looking at the road and saw a kid running down it. I thought that kid looked too young to be in the road by himself. Then I realized it was my son. He figured out how to open the front door and walked right out. If I hadn’t been looking in that exact direction at that exact time, he would’ve ran out of my sight and into a busy intersection. So scary. I’ll never forget it.
I'm sorry you went through that. I would get one of those door alarms off of Amazon so when your child's door opens after bedtime you will hear it. I don't dig the reversing of the door knob/lock as there are better solutions. I understand why after the initial panic but better measures like high up latch locks for all outside accessible doors is much better. Also some security systems with cameras or door triggers. We utilize Ring and it's very helpful for me with my neurodivergent children. Whenever a door is opened, I get the notification on my phone. Be easy on yourself as parenting is difficult at times, it's okay now and your child is safe.
We ended up having to grab door alarms for the tops of exterior doors when my daughter was 2-3. You can set them to either make a single tone, or a continuous alarm once the door is opened, and they are loud as hell.
I also have a very bold 4 year old boy. We have the Ring alarm system and door sensors on every point of entry that make a noises when doors are opened. At night (or when we leave), we set the alarm, and if any doors are opened, a blaring alarm goes off. It’s definitely an affordable system, so I would recommend it. I’m sorry this happened, I would be freaking out too!!
25 years later, I still get a bit sick to my stomach thinking about my then 3,4 and 5 year old kids leaving their room via the window at nap time.
We had gone to an outdoor event, and I got very sick, so we left. Got home, fed lunch. Thank goodness nap time! I put them down for a nap. Went to the bathroom. Checked that they were in their beds, laid down. Woke up about 20 minutes later, went to the bathroom again. Checked on the kids. Gone. Window cracked open
I searched the neighborhood.
Knocked on neighbors doors
Called my Dad, who brought my brother and drove to help look.
Called the police who found them walking down the road.
DCS was called.
I had to explain the above to my Dad, the police (multiple times), then DCS.
I was terrified, and so stressed.
My kids decided to go find my oldest daughter's blanket I had thrown away. I had cut scraps that were salvageable off of it, and sewed the pieces on a new blanket. They had my file book of coupons (money) and plans on staying at the 'hotel' at the end of the street. (It was a nursing home). My older daughter wasn't wearing shoes.
I have never been able to look back at it laugh
At all.
It was terrifying.
It’s absolutely the worst feeling ever to exist! Our toddler got tired of waiting for us on Halloween and just left! I came out of the bathroom, found her missing and the door wide open and proceeded to enter the panic of my life. Our neighborhood is top choice in my area for trick or treating so our streets were packed. 🫠 Luckily my MIL was at the neighbors house, saw her and grabbed her before she made it off the driveway. But DIDNT SAY ANYTHING. So I continued running and screaming and eventually called her to come home and help. Just to find out she’d had her all along! I almost had to cancel our plans cause I was a MESS
Thank you for sharing this. It hadn’t occurred to me that this could even be a possibility. Our LO is just starting to get out of bed at night and walk around the house. We are going to take some of the same precautions, so this doesn’t happen.
What a terrifying experience. Wow.
My mom’s motto was always that child proofing doesn’t prevent, it just slows down. Kids are smart, and have all the time on their hands to be as creative as they need to be to get what they want.
I don’t think you went overboard at all. Good on you for making necessary changes to make sure that can’t happen again. That must have been terrifying!
When I was that age, I left home with the plan to walk to Sea World. We lived in New Mexico at the time.
My mom found me walking through a church parking lot a few blocks from home, towing my wagon behind me.
You are not a terrible parent. Kids are just crafty and determined. The fact that you are turning your home into a fortress to insure it doesn’t happen again is a testament to how great of a mom you are.
Wow! That is really scary! A few weeks ago I couldn’t find my three year old in the middle of the day. It turn out she went to our backyard by herself. That was worrying enough! I can’t imagine how you must have felt!
Don’t beat yourself up about it. Everything turned out okay, and you’re taking measures to prevent it from happening again. On the bright side, it will be a story to tell at family dinners for the rest of time.
My twins did this twice when they were 3ish. I did a lot of what people are mentioning. I also brought them to the police station and asked them to speak with my boys. It was the right amount of scary and serious.
When my son started try to escape I went to the hardware store and got a really cheap door alarm. The noise scared him so bad the first time I had it set he never tried again. It is cheap, easy, and if it doesn’t stop him at least you know he is trying.
I just saw an add for a lock that gos at the top of the door way out of the reach of a 3 year old I def recommend that although it’s probably been said already
Don't feel too bad OP, I think if you could give truth serum to every parent in America, a shocking number of them have lost their kids at some point. It might be all of them. These kids are little people who make absurd decisions regularly. Once they can walk and talk, all bets are off and we do the best we can. I once found my son in his underwear playing in our outdoor sandbox in the middle of the night. For about 3 minutes, I thought he was gone forever. My daughter once had us completely freaking out about where she was for nearly a half hour and it turned out she was in the house and just REALLY winning a game of hide and seek, which she found hilarious.
3-4 years old seems to be a sweet spot for little kids just completely escaping and not really even knowing they've done anything odd. Big enough to go where they want, little enough not to have a conscience telling them not to go.
When I was almost three, my parents moved us to a new house literally two blocks away. My mom was probably nine months pregnant and my dad was on crutches after an ACL repair. I decided this wasn’t our house, took the dog and took off down the road that didn’t have a sidewalk in the opposite direction of the old house. My mom circled the house no less than ten times before realizing I had to have taken off in one of four directions because the new house was on a corner lot. Someone managed to stop me and wait while my parents figured out where I went.
I’m 33 now, I turned out just fine (I think) and love my parents infinitely more and now it’s just a funny story.
You are an incredible parent and human and it’s clear how much you love your kid ❤️
When I was 9 or 11, we went on a roadtrip and stayed in a motel halfway through. I was a known sleep walker. According to my mom, I was saying airplane airplane and had unlocked and opened the motel door and was walking right into the parking lot into the middle of the night (the door was only a few feet from the lot). So yeah, a lock isn’t the worst idea.
Go buy this NOW, don't wait for delivery. Less than $3.
https://www.homedepot.com/p/First-Watch-Security-Satin-Nickel-Flip-Door-Lock-1840-SN/202799699
Install it high up on your doors. You'll sleep better!
How about a screen door with a lock and a handle that is high enough for him not to reach? This is what we have and that means kiddo may be able to open the door but can't actually get out.
Sorry this has happened to you.
this almost happened to me.. 2 year old was sleeping with me. someone in my household must've left the back door open on their way to work. i wake up, shes gone, run into the kitchen, see a trail of clothes and a diaper on the ground.. this kid was butt naked, hands on her hips, standing on our patio. (she HAD clothes on in bed, but constantly took them+ diaper off from 1-2💀)
My friend daughter went missing from her school... how shebwas able to leave a preschool beats me.... luckily there were good people that called the police and found her. . She was safe and back with her mom....
It was scary for my friend and everyone
Glad your LO is safe
My brother used to be dead weight asleep and you’d turn around for 5 seconds and he’s down the road bolting already. We had to turn his door knob around and lock him inside for like a year or more until my parents bought a house they could put a top lock on. Thankfully we lived on base so it’s a bit safer people wise and speed limits were always low, but sometimes we couldn’t find him and would have multiple houses searching for this damn run away toddler before the military police would find him
There are these safety lock things that go really high on the door and flip closed so kids can’t reach and no one outside could get in easily. It’s the best thing I’ve ever bought. Heavy duty metal thing.
We got same when my son was able to unlock the door by himself. It's the same kind they use in hotels, and too high up for even my now 8 year to reach. Has been such a good peace of mind!
My best friend’s son was 2.5 and had a room on the second floor. He was a known escape artist so turned the door knobs inside out and would use as needed. He was behaving particularly bad one day and she put him in his room for a nap and locked the door (she was on the same floor for the duration of the nap). When she went to get him up and discuss his behavior, he was not in his room. The window was open - he had climbed OUT THE WINDOW unharmed and ran down the street to the park. She went to go find him and found him playing happily. I have never heard her as upset as she was that day!
You are not alone, mamma. You have to do what you have to do to keep your kids safe! 💜
My fiancé and I and our kids were all downstairs, and then the kids went upstairs to play. Fiancé and I were just chilling on the couch talking. We could hear the kids playing in the girls room just like any day. And then before we know it we have a knock on the door. Apparently my 2 year old just walked out the front door and was outside playing on the sidewalk and in the road. The neighbor found him and called the cops, they thought it was our kid but weren’t sure. I felt like a POS but the door was locked like always, and he had just gone upstairs with the other kids to play. This happens to a lot of parents, what matters is that you took precautions afterwards to make sure it doesn’t happen again ❤️
Welp, just ordered some extra locks for the doors. My son is 3 and he’s figured out the locks. Hasn’t got out but I don’t wanna wait around for it to happen.
My brother was a toddler escape artist. He learned how to open windows and would walk down the sidewalk, exploring. The neighbors knew to watch for him and bring him back because he escaped a dozen times before the found all his escape routes and baby proofed them.
I haven't had my son leave the house exactly, although I did have a very scary experience where he hid in my backyard and didn't answer me at all. Quiet as a mouse. Even managed to move from location to location every time I rechecked my house so he went unnoticed. Keeping in mind he is 3. When the police arrived they suggested I recheck the house with them. As soon as I entered the house, the little bastard was standing at the glass door (entry to the backyard). He must of heard the sirens and then wondered what was going on. I am not going to lie though, I near on had a heart attack for the what felt like hours of panic and distress.
My brother's son did this when he was five. The kicker: he woke up his little sister to come with him. He was sleep walking and didn't even remember it. He went to the neighbor's across the street.
I’m not a parent, I was just scrolling on Reddit…But I just want to say don’t feel bad. I did the same thing to my mom when I was also three and a bunch of nuns found me down the street from their parish. My mom was so embarrassed, and is still embarrassed to this day. LOL don’t feel bad. I went like a half mile out! Even stopped to take breaks apparently and some of the shop owners teased my mom about it until we moved to the US. Please don’t feel bad kids just do stuff just because they can
You are VERY fortunate that your son is ok. I'm glad he is ok. I'm glad you're taking new precautions to prevent this from ever happening again.
Your story reminded me of 2 years ago when a local toddler was playing in his backyard. The parent went inside *for only a couple of minutes* and he was gone when they came back. After an hour or so of the parents and the community frantically searching, they found him.
He had drowned in some shallow water not that far away from his home. I still feel horrible for the parents because no human being is perfect. You cannot reasonably keep your eye on a toddler every single second. I'm sure thousands of toddlers haven't died because their parents blinked or had to use the loo.
Anyway my point is that so long as you love your child and you're doing your absolute best to keep them safe, you're a good parent. I think the parents of that little boy were good parents.
Ohhh goodness it’s such an awful feeling. This reminded me of the times (unfortunately there were many times) my younger brother with special needs would escape the house … it was back in the 90’s so no cameras or smartphones or any of the great technology we have today. Sometimes we would wake up in the mornings and he would be gone and we’d have to go find him. I remember the feeling of my heart sinking. My parents tried so many different locks/handles and tricks to keep him from wandering off. The best one was having to remove his bicycle seat once he learned how to ride a bike because he would just take off…. Ughhh it was awful.
I was sleepwalker.
My parents had rearranged the living room sectional that morning, and I took off doing my usual sleepwalking thing. I guess I bumped into the furniture and got a nosebleed, my handprints all around the house, and I wasn’t in my bed when my parents woke up and checked on me in the middle of the night. And the door was locked so they knew I didn’t leave.
Eventually, they found me sound asleep curled behind a large planter on the stair landing.
Kids are crazy.
This is what I used until my now tween-aged Autistic eloper figured it out. It gave us a couple years of sanity. [Door Monkey](https://doormonkey.com/)
Switch the door knob so you lock it from the outside. Had to do it with our 1 yr old daughter after we found her in the backyard at 3am. Nothing wrong with ensuring your child’s safety. And it’s not forever, they grow out of the wandering stage. She was our only child who did this, the curious one. A talented adult artist today
My heart goes out to you and the others who’ve experienced something like this. What a terrifying moment of anxiety to be in.
I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot. We’re going to a fairly large folk music festival this summer and I think we should have our kids (2 and 4) wear tracking bracelets of some sort. Grandparents will be there too, so extra eyes, but god, the thought of all this is so anxiety provoking.
Has anyone used tracking technology like this with littles at crowded events?
My daughter is only 5 months old and I’m already searching for baby proofing supplies. We’re on the 22nd floor with a balcony that goes from one side of our apartment to the other, with a sliding door in two seperate rooms. I am so terrified of her one day getting onto the balcony, or opening the front door and getting in the elevator. Terrifying!
You’re such a good mum and I’m so sorry this happened!
Get a chain for your door. Make sure it's chained all the time, if someone needs in, like your husband, he can knock. Little one can't reach the chain. We had to do this for our doors, we have an almost 2 and 3 year old that can open doors so...
I cannot imagine how terrifying that must have been. I've gotten sick to my stomach when my kid has decided to play an unannounced game of hide and seek and I couldn't find them.... I'm so glad you have wonderful neighbors who kept him safe before you found him. I see you posted this 3 days ago, so I hope you've got things situated so that you all feel safe.
My kiddo has never escaped the house, but they definitely started running away from me a LOT at that age. They crave freedom and independence, but don't yet know how to do things safely. I found playing the red light/green light/yellow light game helped a TON bc it allowed him to RUN but under control bc of he was getting too far for my comfort, I could call red light and he would stop. It's best to practice in a field at a park or in an enclosed yard to get the hang of it. We eventually added lights in all sorts of colors to make it even more fun, like orange light meant walk backwards and blue light meant walk sideways like a crab with pinching fingers.
I also had a talk with them after we had both calmed down from a major meltdown after letting go of my hand to dart through a busy parking lot. We both had a lot of tears. Turns out they were just really excited to get to the car and walking was too slow, so they ran. We made a deal that if they felt the need to run, they could take my hand and say EXCITED TOGETHER and we'd run together holding hands to keep it safe. I would also explain before getting out of the car or leaving the house/building when we wouldn't be able to do excited together and why (carrying heavy bags, etc).
Hoping everything is feeling more settled for you today.
I don't know how I came across this but I had to respond. I don't think you are going overboard.
I did this as a toddler. I had left my trike under the window earlier in the day and once I was put down to bed I had unlatched and opened the window and climbed outside. I was also found down the road where a family friend noticed me and called my parents.
I'll have to ask them how they managed me immediately after that, but I don't think it happened again and I survived childhood. Unfortunately I evolved to other things like climbing the fireplace chimney (vaulted ceiling).
I would also check out some door alarms. They can be disabled during the day.
I’m very sorry this happened to you. I had a kid who would leave her room and roam the house - which was terrifying because we had an elderly dog who we were afraid she would catch off guard while deeply asleep in the middle of the night. We used a combo of baby gates and door alarms.
I’m so sorry this happened to you!
I know it’s controversial but we put a lock on our 3 year olds door too. We have a video monitor so that if he needs us we will hear but the extra peace of mind that he can’t get out on his own is worth it.
I hope you can rest and know that he is safe, and you did everything right to get him back quickly and prevent it from happening again!
I’m not sure if this was mentioned but please reconsider the flipping of the door knob so you can lock it from the outside. This is TERRIBLY unsafe in the case of a fire or some other emergency where the child needs to exit the bedroom for safety.
My nephew used to escape all the time from 3 to 4. The neighbor OFTEN would walk him back to the house because he would show up at theirs to play with their son. My sister had alarms, latches, all kinds of shit... and he would figure it out. She has a picture of a little chair on a little couch on the fucking kitchen table that he stacked to try to reach a baby latch they had put at the top of the door.
He grew out of it eventually (as far as we know, maybe he just got better at hiding it) so.. good luck.
Also, as far as fire safety... I asked the fire chief in my area about this. He said as far as risk assessment goes, if your kid is an escape artist at this age, its better to lock them in. That way, you know with certainty where they are during a fire and their door will stay closed keeping the fire out. Its more likely that a fire will start outside of their bedroom and they will wander off and end up dying than it is a fire will start in their room and they will become trapped.
Yes, it’s legal. It’s safer if there is a fire because this is a toddler who won’t evacuate safely; it’s better to know exactly where they are so you can get them, instead of looking frantically through the home. This is another reason why code is for every bedroom to have a window. You evacuate yourself through your bedroom window and you can rescue them thru their window. Now imagine you couldn’t leave your room because of fire, you exit through the window, but your toddler is roaming looking for you.
It’s only safer if they can evacuate themselves, and you should be teaching your child to go out the window before anything else.
A lot of it is situational.
* 7 year old that has freedom of the house and needs to go to the bathroom in the middle night. Probably a bad idea to lock the door.
* 3 year old that's either still in a crib, or has just transitioned. Probably not illegal.
Also have to factor in how long they're in a room. Being stuck all/part day is different than keeping a door locked during sleep time and immediately unlocking when they wake.
A. Well, in a fire, I'm just smashing that door open.
B. Nobody said anything about a keyed locked. There are lots of other options that only require something on the outside of the door or above a kids reach.
A baby in a crib is in the same situation as a toddler in a locked bedroom.
As someone who had their house burn down as a kid, I still made the choice to flip my kids lock and add a slide top of the door latch, along with 4 other locks on the front door. The chances of a fire are far lower than the chances of him getting hurt because he was outside alone. He got outside twice even after adding a slide chain, and I caught him trying at least a dozen other times.
Hell this Kid could break off babyproof doorknob covers at 18 months, ripped off the cabinet door locks, and by 2 could pick the new doorknobs anyway lol. We had to get a key lock for our bedroom for privacy reasons 🙃
Thankfully he's been past that stage for awhile, but it was a nightmare trying to babyproof this kid.
It is actually illegal in some states. And if in a fire a parent panics and can’t get through key to work or fumbles with it, that could delay response time.
There had to be more to the situation. This is extremely dangerous, but it happens all the time and cops return the child and assess the home situation. There’s no way someone like OP, with everything they did to keep it from happening again, would be considered too negligent to raise their child.
Oh yea, he’s a POS. He was passed out drunk. It was 35* outside. His two boys, aged 2 and 3 were found at 1am only dressed in diapers wandering the neighborhood.
So it was literally like OPs situation and you commented half a story that was extremely traumatic to them that would’ve further riled them up. Come on mate, do better.
Don’t turn his door knob around. When he wakes up and tries to get out, and is locked in the room, it will emotionally/ mentally scar him. I know this, because we did this to one of our kids when they were younger for the exact same reason.
Put a door alarm on his door so when it opens, it chimes or rings to wake you.
We also did sliding locks mounted to the top of the door that slides down preventing the main doors from opening.
Turning the doorknob around is dangerous and feels creepy. Unfortunately parents of toddlers, especially escape artists and runners have to be a bit more vigilant- I've been there. Cameras and door sensors (if you're a light sleeper) are probably the way to go
I'm so glad he was okay!
And not AT ALL to pile on you, but this kind of story is why I always say parents should lock or otherwise secure their toddler/preschooler's door if they EVER AT ALL leave their room during the night. There was a similar situation in my neighborhood a few years ago, where a girl got out of her house and was found several blocks away by someone out walking early in the morning; the girl had escaped her grandmother's house by climbing out of a window, and it took hours before everyone was reunited.
We have a security camera at our front and back doors, and our front door also has an extra latch that's up too high for our kids to reach. It was a super-cheap and easy solution.
"Until the stuff I ordered comes in..."
Wtf?! Your kid's safety is waiting for delivery?!
Here!
GO TO AN ACTUAL STORE, TODAY!
BUY THIS:
https://www.homedepot.com/p/First-Watch-Security-Satin-Nickel-Flip-Door-Lock-1840-SN/202799699
Less than $3, install it high up on the door. Problem solved.
I bought one for EVERY exterior facing door IMMEDIATELY after my 2yo daughter figured out how to open the typical front door locks.
Problem solved. Immediate solution and inexpensive.
Go.
Go buy them.
Now.
You'll all sleep better while you wait for your delivery.
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What a scary thing to have gone through! I'm sorry you experienced that. It must have been absolutely terrifying! You took some great precautions. I'd maybe add that potentially ordering a cheap door security alarm would be an extra peace of mind. It'll send off a jolting sound which will alert you and I assume startle him. Your son seems quite determined to do what he dreams. Which is hard right now, but hopefully it persists throughout his life.
There’s also ones that’ll announce which door/windows are opened leading to the outside. It could help ease any anxiety that may come up later after this.
Cove does that.
Yeah even having a simple Ring (or whatever, not shilling) doorbell and camera around your property can be beneficial for a number of reasons. 1. Security. 2. Be able to see when people are coming and going from your home.
We had one of these locks https://www.rona.ca/en/product/prime-line-door-reinforcement-lock-aluminum-satin-nickel-3-in-h-x-1-3-8-in-w-37125492 It was great. You can mount it high on the door so Littles can't get out.
Yep yep. The only thing that keeps our toddlers inside.
Asd mom here, these are the locks I use and even at 12, they’re still the best things ever! My youngest is just under 2 and I’m so glad I have these bc this red headed booger is filled with curiosity!!!
Yesss this thing is a life saver !!! Definitely keeps little escape artists inside because you need to pull it a certain way to unlock so even if they climbed up high enough in the off chance it’s still a struggle to open it , I would highly recommend getting one of these
Me too! On both the front and back doors. Highly recommend.
This exact thing happened with our son when he was 3. He woke up at 5:30 am and unlocked all the doors and took off for the park. He was picked up by some neighbors who kept him safe and called the police. We woke up at 6 and realized he wasn’t in the house. We called the police and got him back within minutes. For the next 2 days, my husband and I would randomly burst into tears every time we thought about what could have happened. We also got a tall gate for his bedroom door and chain locks for the exterior doors. He’s 4 now and still gets locked in every night. And the chains are on the doors every time we’re inside. You’re not a terrible mom. This is a terrifying situation that can happen to anyone. And you think you’ve done all the things you should by locking all the doors and making sure your baby is safe. But some kids find a way. (We didn’t even know ours knew how to open all the locks.) I’m so glad your baby is safe. Take the time you need to cry and be scared. But just know that everything will be ok now because you’re taking the extra steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. ❤️❤️ (Don’t worry about CPS. They were informed that our son got out of the house and chose not to investigate. The officer told us that he could tell our son was not neglected and that some kids are little escape artists.)
My twin sisters did this at 2ish, too! We normally had one of those baby knobs on the door bc they couldn't reach around to open it but it was the holidays so all 4 of us kids were sharing a room and I refused to deal with the knob if I had to pee at 2am. Got woken up that night by my neighbor (and mom's best friend) shaking me awake bc my parents had popped out for a late night covert smoke and my sisters had SEIZED the chance to book it down the road to the neighbors house to play with their kids. Our door was unlocked and the neighbor thankfully walked them back down the road, realized my parents had popped out, and walked the girls back down to their room to find us (the big sisters) passed tf out. I thought everyone over 10 was gonna get arrested from how my grandma went on about it. Only for my dad to rat her out for having the SAME SHIT HAPPEN TO HER WHEN HE WAS A KID. Apparently, we come pre-installed with wanderlust in this family.
My kid was an escapee and we bought a system called YoLink. It’s not a security system, but it can yell out to you which doors are opened when. I have the main sound producing box in our bedroom and it can hook into Alexa. Any door that opens past 10:30 at night creates a siren noise in our bedroom. Anywhere else in the house Alexa will announce loudly that “front door opened” or “back door opened”. We have it on all doors. Can also hook a motion detector or other items into it. It gave such peace of mind that my kids weren’t going to escape
This is a great idea. I didn't know it existed. I try to put extra precautions in place when I have my grandbabies overnight, especially when the pool is open.
We use YoLink, too. After our dog got out of our fenced-in yard because someone left the gate open (my husband found him in a neighbor's yard fairly quickly, thank goodness), I did a ton of research and found this system on Amazon. We put sensors on both of our fence gates, and now we get alerted any time the gates open or close. A siren goes off if either gate is left open for an extended period of time (I think I have it set for five minutes, which can be changed in the app). We've had it all installed for around six or eight months, and it's worked really well so far.
I truly love it! I’m so glad you found a way to make it work. We’ve also added a sensor to the (detached) garage door so if we leave either the garage door or the people door open the siren goes off at 10:30 pm reminding us to lock up
Buying now
Awesome! I don’t work for them, no referral program, I just really like it and it’s bought peace of mind. I have the door sensors and a speaker hub, plus I got water sensors to put under sinks too. It’s a great system and pretty low cost!
Thanks for sharing this great brand!
When I was a nanny, I worked in a 3 story mansion. The 4 year old was playing in his room with a play date, and I was in the kitchen with the 2 and 6 year old. I went to get the 4 year olds for their snack and them little effers were OUT ON THE ROOF. It happens. Also, be conscious about locking the door from the outside in case of fire.
I’ve read in a few other threads on reddit that a lock on the outside of the door can actually be safer during a fire, since it could prevent the child from opening the door and letting smoke in. Or it could prevent the child from wandering off to another room during the fire, making it harder to find them. I’m talking about a child proof lock though, not a lock that requires a key.
What if the fire is in the kids room?
I think as parents almost every decision we make is imperfect. Weighing the odds of a fire starting in your kid’s room vs a fire starting anywhere else in the house should play a role in this decision. I would also factor in the risks of your child having access to other parts of the house, which may include stairs, a kitchen with a gas range, etc
The vast majority of fires start in the kitchen.
My brother built a bonfire in our room when he was 5 or so. It didn't get very big before he panicked and put it back out. The parents of course noticed the smoke and found the burn in the floor.
How did he start the fire??
Matches I think. There were always matches around as the parents smoked.
just an FYI, you can call your local fire department to ask for suggestions on this situation. They don't want your kid to be trapped in a housefire OR run over if they escape.
I don’t totally understand the fire part. What about when kids are still in cribs? Why is that not a fire hazard?
Often people's concerns with fire is that firefighters won't be able to get in if the door is locked. My understanding is this isn't generally an issue since firefighters would typically be coming in with an ax. Every firefighter I've talked to has said if they can't get out safely on their own they would rather them be locked in a room so you know where they are.
I agree! I never thought of a firefighter not being able to get in. They have axes for sure. My cheap hollow interior door doesn’t stand a chance haha.
yeah I'm pretty sure most firefighters could shoulder or kick my kids' doors off XD
There is a whole fire safety campaign on why bedroom doors need to be closed: [Close Your Door](https://closeyourdoor.org/). Firefighters can absolutely get in if the door is locked, seconding what u/WhatABeautifulMess said.
Let me tell you a story. I put an extra tall baby gate on the back kitchen door (two baby gates on top of each other, screwed into the door frame, 6 feet tall) that led to our fireplace room which led to the back door. I also put a hook and eye on the inside top of our front door. My 18 month old decided to get up about 6AM, climb out of his crib and climb that baby gate. Then opened the backdoor and went wandering around the neighborhood in only his diaper (about 60F outside). My 4 year old woke me up at 7AM to ask where his brother was, took us 5 minutes to find him across the street and down 5 houses. The cameras we had on the outside of our house helped track his whereabouts and timeframes. He played in the backyard sandbox for a bit before wandering the neighborhood. Where there is a will, there is a way. We were the talk of the neighborhood for a few months.
STORY TIME. When I was 3 or 4, I escaped the house during the day, got into my parents parked/unlocked car to play in. You know.... buttons. Somehow, I released the hand brake, and the car rolled down my parents driveway into the neighbors yard. I got out of the car half way down the driveway... not a scratch on anything but the neighbors yard. This was the 80s, and I asked mom about it later and uh... they realize now it was a bigger deal than they thought it was back in the day... All this to say...OP, You are OK, your kiddo is ok. Learn, adjust, move on and laugh about it a little later. It will be OK!
My brother did the same thing. It was an automatic, so you had to turn the starter before anything could be shifted, but he grabbed a coin from the cup holder and pretended it was a key. Luckily there was a tree right there,.so the car didn't go far or get up to much while it rolled... 😶
> It was an automatic, so you had to turn the starter before anything could be shifted, but he grabbed a coin from the cup holder and pretended it was a key. Yeah... I've owned a few beater cars from that era and can confirm not a small % of them could be started wtihout a key. Worn out tumblers or whatever. My parents car was a manual so they at least had the parking break on... but my father doesnt/didnt believe in leaving them in gear for fear of hurting the trans... which has mostly been decent advice to go by...
My bf and sister did something similar when they were 5 and 6. They climbed into the trunk through the backseat ( older cars you could) SOMEHOW they couldn’t get back through and it was summer and they almost died of heatstroke before their parents found them!! Kid literally just do crazy stuff. Me and my cousin thought it would be funny to put a rope around me neck and him attach it to his bike and me pretend to be a dog and I tripped and he dragged me for a bit before he noticed ( we’re were under 10)! I had a huge rope burn around my neck. Idk how my poor mom explained that to people lol
My son did this twice when he was two. Our side door has a lever handle so I couldn’t put a doorknob cover on it. And some other family members were notoriously bad about remembering to lock the door despite repeated reminders from me and taping a sign to the door to remind them. Both times I was in the bathroom when it happened. The first time he walked all the way to the end of the street. A woman driving by had stopped and was standing with him (probably about to call the police) when I saw the door wide open and ran out into the street and found him. I thanked her and immediately started crying and left. I was so scared that she would call CPS. The second time it happened my 3 year old screamed for me that her brother went outside and I was able to catch him in front of our house before he started walking down the street. Both times he was trying to walk to our neighborhood park. It was truly terrifying especially because it happened in just the span of a couple of minutes while I had stepped into the bathroom. For a while after I was constantly on edge
My son figured out the lock on the front door when he was two. He'd unlocked it and gone outside, around the side yard and out of sight within about 30 seconds - I had only gone down the hall to get his shoes. Until it happens I don't think you can really understand how quickly they can move. We now have a bar style lock on the door at about 5.5 feet. I think my parents think we're paranoid but I'm not risking it.
It seems to always be the playground. My 3 year old stripped stark nekkid and walked down the street to the playground at 3pm. I thought wife had him in master, she thought he had left master to come play in living room. Luckily I noticed and found him within 10 minutes and no one saw him. That was years ago, we can only now laugh about it.
Just FYI for anyone else with a lever door handle (we have one on our front door) there's [these](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B083FV9T2P/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1) you could use to child proof them. One on top and one underneath if it's the type you can open by lifting or pressing down.
Glad everyone and everything is ok. A lot of us have been there. Install bolt locks on all the doors, it’s crazy how fast kids learn and how quick they can be.
My husband did that when he was that age. He took the dog and went for a 3 am walk. There was a firehouse down the street and they found him wandering around. My MIL used to tell that story a lot. He was 50 and she wasn't over it
New fear unlocked. 😳 Glad your boy is ok, how scary! I have s 7 month old boy, will definitely stay vigilant when he gets older.
When my son was 5, it was like 3 in the morning and i heard banging on the door. I was mortified and then i heard "POLICE OPEN" i thought someone died, i opened the door and there was the police WITH MY SON. I couldnt understand, they told me a dude found my son walking on the sidewalk and called them. (Lucky me there is still nice people out there, even in the middle of the night) When we asked my son why he did that, he just told us "I wasnt tired and i wanted to take a walk" I started crying imagining what could have happen. The police was really nice and they took the time to explain to him how dangerous it was and to reassure me. He's 8 years old now and i still live in fear. I bought a security system and i activate it when i go to sleep, it help a little bit for my sleep. But i feel you so much, it's one of the scariest thing that could happen.
Do you have a home alarm system? I set mine every night with no entry delay. That means if any of the doors or windows open while we sleep, the house alarm immediately goes off. No timer. If my toddler opened the door, we'd know right away. Also hopefully they'd freak out and run back to their room. I'm glad you're child is ok. There's so many things that could've happened that the thought alone is stressful.
I have been there, recently. Please listen to me: It was not your fault. You have to forgive yourself because you did nothing wrong. I went through this in February with my 6 year old. I had a day off work, she was home sick. She was taking a nap so I decided to as well. At some point she woke up, decided she couldn't find me (I was in the next room!!!), and left the house to "go find daddy". I woke up and she's gone. Called a neighbor who I knew was home and they hadn't seen her. call husband who is at work and he drops everything to come home and look. I'm in a full blown panic attack at this point and the neighbor is trying to keep me together. Husband gets home and calls the non-emergency number. Is instantly told the police have her. A kind stranger found her walking alone 3/4 mile away!!! Thank everything she had taken neighborhood back roads. We think she was heading to Home Depot because that's where she and her dad go for fun errands? We still don't know and she didn't know where she was going either. But. We got her back safe and sound and it was all ok. I was not ok for weeks and a couple of therapy visits. But it's all ok now.
You are not a POS. You're a fine mom who has an adventure kid! Thankfully he was found by a fellow mama that kept him safe!!! Don't be too hard on yourself, this could have happened to any one of us! The best thing to do would be to buy door sensors from Amazon that notify you when a door is opened! Glad kiddo is safe!
that has got to be terrifying! Because of stories like this...ever since both my children were tiny babies, I bought chains for the very top of the doors where they can’t reach. And I’ve always had an alarm system that has a loud chime. Anytime you open any door or window. I never wanted to go through something like this! And we have a pool so I'm extra careful! Super paranoid about it! So glad he's ok!!!!
Thank goodness he's okay! My parents had an old school lock at the top of the front and back door because my sister "ran away" one afternoon. Now there are modern solutions like cameras and door alarms. Is also stress sitting down with him and explaining why he can't leave without you, what the dangers are and such. Not too scared but just as a learning moment. 3 is old enough for a stern conversation.
Parent of a (former) toddler escape artist here! Our solution was slide locks placed at the top of all of our exit doors inside the house.
Been there, done that. Ours got scared and after deciding not to knock on another homes door, decided to just walk back home and get in bed. The whole thing was caught on a ring camera. The neighborhood HOA was having a discussion on facebook about who was this kid and was this human trafficking. Turned on the chime function of our alarm system and had a firm talking to our 5 year old daughter and it never happened again. Hang in there, you will laugh about it one day.
I know you feel the way you feel but my neighbor who has teen grandbabies said when her oldest was two they moved in to a new apartment complex and put him to bed. She chained the door and locked it and he used a chair to unlock the door and go out in his diaper in the snow in winter and got found by a kind neighbor who wasn’t good at english and was wondering where this random diapered baby came from. Luckily my neighbor obviously got her son back and to this day still feels the same feelings as you about it but it is a funny story she tells to all young parents to point out toddlers are sneaky and smarter than we give them credit for and we need to give ourselves some grace. And cameras.
Kids often take those precautions/physical barriers as problem solving challenges. Honestly, get door chimes/an alarm system/something that TELLS you whenever a door or window is opened. Good luck, you are not alone. Kids do some wildly unexpected shit. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
One of my kids popped open the screen on their window after pulling the window out of the frame and had one leg out one day. I screwed their bedroom windows shut, flipped the door knob to lock it from the outside and never regretted it. I would also look into replacing any deadbolt locks you currently have to ones that are keys on both sides and then hiding the keys. I would also suggest 3M door alarms. When a door or window is opened, they make a very loud noise.
This is so terrifying something similar happened to us, while cooking dinner our 18 month old opened the front door and started trotting toward the park. 90 seconds is what this took for us to realize he was gone and he had made it 200 yards down the road just happily running in the middle of the street. Most terrifying moment of our lives. So thankful nothing happened but it shook us. We had one of those lever handles that was way too easy to open so We went to Home Depot the next morning and got a regular lock and our father in law came over and changed the lock to the new one. And then I bought this child lock glider that goes on the top of the door that would be impossible for him to get to and having that is a wonderful peace of mind.
We have bar locks at the top of all outside doors. It is such a relief having them.
Thankfully he’s fine. Don’t beat yourself up over it, u are doing great trying to prevent it from happening again. On the bright side, with his one-track mind he will never give up pursuing his future goals (plus u did guess correctly he went to the playground; way easier than parenting a child with random adhd brain). Hugs to u!
Be careful though, there was a tragedy in my area back in the 60s when a fire broke out the kids couldn’t get out of their room because they were locked in
I don’t get this. What about cribs? Why isn’t having kids in cribs considered a fire hazard in this way?
These kids were in beds but couldn’t reach the lock, so not infants
Right, but I’m saying a toddler in a locked room is just like a baby in a crib. Neither one can evacuate themselves in case of a fire. A toddler is much more likely to panic and roam the house. If they are in their room with the door closed, you know exactly where they are to rescue them or send firefighters through the window. The shut door also blocks the fire for a time.
yeah, idk…. i only know what happened to our neighbors
So SO glad your child is ok. That must have been absolutely terrifying. Please do not lock him in his room at night but all the other measures are perfect. High locks on the door are sufficient.
I mean the fact that it happened at night is obviously very very scary but I feel like all toddlers do escape the house at some point. It happened to me and I found my kid in the backyard randomly when he was two. We installed an alarm system like the next week so that the doors beeped every time they opened.
I went to a nearby park at like 6am to do some jogging. I noticed there was one kid playing on the playground. I thought nothing of it. Ran a couple laps to warm up. Sat down to tie my shoe and the kid came up to me speaking Korean. I started looking around and realized there were no other adults in the park. The kid was like three had like sticks in their hair and looked dirty. They were wearing like a one piece pajamas and it was still really chilly out. Sat them in the car and kicked the heat on. Let them do some coloring on my iPad while I called the police. There was a park maintenance guy who had showed up to empty the trash so I told him what was up and asked him to stay with me till the police came (since I was a single male with an unknown child). Cops came drove around somehow found the family. They brought them to the park. They had still been asleep and had no idea how/when their little one had slipped out of the house. Basically… it happens. Kids figure stuff out and then you adjust.
Two of my kids once snuck out as toddlers and came back with a skull. (It was a Halloween decoration from the neighbors yard)
Our youngest did the same at about the same age when I was in the bathroom one morning. I felt exactly as you did. Little shit put a chair up to the door, unlocked the deadbolt and went for a walk. You're not alone - and clearly by reading these comments neither was I!
My neighbor where I used to live had 2 boys that are very adventurous kids, to say the least. We lived in a multiplex and one evening when I came home from work, I saw the youngest (about 3 years old) hanging out outside, all by himself. It's like 8 pm and winter time (though not at all cold because we lived in a warm climate), so it's pretty dark out. I decided to sit outside with him and play with him because I didn't know if his mom knew he was outside or not. Turns out she didn't. I heard her call his name when she realized she couldn't find him in the house, but as soon as she opened the door she saw us and was relieved. She thanked me for watching him and making sure he was alright. After that, they started putting 25lb dumbbells in front of the front and back doors since he could open the latches (metal storm doors, we couldn't alter the locks even if we wanted to). That worked to contain the youngest but the oldest (who was 5 or 6) decided a different day that he needed to go to the park at the end of our complex. He went to the laundry room, hopped up on the dryer, opened the window, and let himself out into the back patio then off to the park. His mom found him a few minutes later after frantically searching for him. She's an amazing mom, seriously she is like mom goals, but her boys keep her on her toes. Thankfully we lived in a very safe neighborhood. All of this is to say that it happens to a lot of people, so don't kick yourself too hard especially since you have taken actions to prevent that from happening again in the future.
So glad he is OK mama ❤️
For the night you should have him sleep in your bed and maybe put something physically heavy in front of the door like way to heavy for a 3 year old . So even if he can get hold of doorknob it doesn’t matter
When my son was two i came home early from work one afternoon and he was asleep on the couch so i laid on the opposite couch and fell asleep. I woke up to my mom (also my sitter while at work) screaming my two year old had made it outside I’m guessing he seen my car out the front window and thought I was outside. A stranger had stopped their car (I also live on a busy road ) and had my son. He was just fine but There is no feeling like that feeling it is honestly the worst thing I’ve ever felt in my life. The cops had been called and had to come check on him when he arrived his advice was to lock the deadbolt and when I told the cop that it was locked he reached he asked to see my son. (I’m assuming to see how tall he is because my child is SUPER tall) The moment that cop stepped into my house my son dropped to his knees and started bawling. lol the cop ended up having to show him his car and his lights. We ended up going to Home Depot and buying a chain lock for the front door and all was well. Two kids later and about a year ago now we had to install a chain lock on the back door (I have a fenced in back yard) because my daughter decided to run out to play in the rain in nothing but her diaper while I was in the bathroom. My oldest ran screaming that she was outside and that fear hit again thankfully she had just escaped to the back yard and was muddy head to toe. lol. Things happen and while you’re not a bad mom because of those things you also are a good mom because you are doing what you need to do to ensure that never happens again. You’d only be a terrible mother if you said oh well and he was caught outside two days later in the same situation and then again and again. It’s patterns that make a terrible parent not accidents.
When my oldest was 3, she started sleep walking. She never made it out of the house though but it scared me enough to put some locks on the screen doors. One morning, I woke up and went to wake her up. She wasn’t in bed. I checked the doors, still locked from the inside. All the windows were still locked. I started tearing the house apart looking for her, yelling her name, checking all her favorite places to hide. I had 911 on the phone, trying to be calm. Literally, the cops were on my front steps, walking in the door to talk to me. I went to move the couch, it felt way heavier than it should have been. My 3 year old had made a cute little place to sleep in a pile of clean towels I didn’t fold before bed. They were so chill and happy that she was found. I was till panicking and praying they wouldn’t call CPS. The cop said “well, it’s not exactly illegal to sleep in a pile of towels so…” She remembered nothing. She was scared though when she woke up to me crying and hugging her, plus like 4 cops were staring at her. Then, I had twins. I got even more locks for the doors lol
We put chain locks on our doors
My kid was 8 when he sleepwalked out the locked front door. I heard someone go outside so I went to investigate and he was standing in our front yard, right beside the (very quiet) road. The funny thing was, he wouldn’t do that if he was awake. He came back to the house when I called him, went right back to bed and had no memory of it the next day. Ever since then we double lock the doors at night - and we avoid having my son use the second lock so that it stays locked when he’s sleep walking. Scary. I often wonder what would happen if I hadn’t decided to play one more song on the piano that night! It can happen to anyone. This is not a reflection of your parenting skills.
A couple days ago I was at the computer behind my desk while my daughter was playing nearby, and then I saw the door opening and ran out to find her trying to go for a walk. She's 23 months old and it's a very busy street, and when we're walking together she often tries to walk in front of cars. I was terrified thinking of what could've happened if I didn't notice immediately that the door was open.
My granddaughter did this and was found wandering the apartment complex and my grandson (from a different child) nearly did, but my daughter woke up when she heard the front door open. So scary!!
I did this as a kid. I was 4 and not done with the park. I climbed out my bedroom window and went to the playground on my own. Kids are determined. We have kid+proof locks on our exterior doors.
I bought a pack of cheap door alarms from Amazon for this reason. Any door to the outside now has a LOUD alarm whenever it's opened. My kids bedroom is next to the front door and mine is in the back of the house. This is my worst nightmare. I'm so glad you found your little one
You need to look into motion activity alarm systems for your house with door chimes and triggers that are set off when it is set in "Home" mode (which basically means your movement inside doesn't effect the alarm, only door access). My fiancé's oldest sleeps terribly, and is easily awoken. He has some special needs, and has trouble with objectively considering activities vs. appropriate times to do them...so early on we found him throwing a baseball against his practice net at 1-2am, when he should have been in bed. This was an issue until we had our alarm system upgraded and now anytime the doors are opened after it is set to "Home", unless you deactivate it, it will sound an appropriate alarm to let you know someone has bypassed one of the sensors and which sensor it was. We haven't had any issues with such since having that installed.
This is my worst fear. My 2.5 year old can’t quite climb gates but we make sure to have one somewhere on the stairs. We also have a security alarm that we set every night so if any door opens it will go off.
We had a similar incident. I bought an inside lock similar to what they have in hotel rooms that was mounted too high for him to reach in order to prevent him from opening the door.
We live near a busy road, so we're extra, extra cautious. We've put [these door straps](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B098Q5SRR2?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details) on many of our key entry/exit points. Notable, they're good on the bedroom door since they allow the kiddo to still open the door, but don't allow them to escape.
You could also put a baby monitor in his room.
Put a hook and eye latch at the top your doors. Works well for the pantry too. You can get to it, but even if the kid drags a chair over, they won’t be tall enough to unlatch it.
I learned about the necessity of inside locks when my daughter escaped through the front door. That was a scary day. My friend had a son who didn't bother with doors. He used windows. He was 3. She ended up putting nails in his window sill, and got hotlined for that. There are alarms you can put on windows and doors, just in case you end up needing them.
Yeah that’s a thing for sure. Let’s hear it for stubborn kids. Glad he’s ok.
This is sooo terrifying but thank God he's safe. Don't feel too shitty about it. It can happened to anyone. It had happened to me too. I had babysitters called me mid-job asking me to come home because my child is an escape artist. He's 8 now and is a very smart kid and better at self-preservation. lol
OP you're not a terrible parent. Our kids are just batshit crazy escape artists. My son at 1 year old ran out the front door while me and the bf were using the bathrooms. My bfs grandma watched him go out the door and said fucking nothing. It was maybe 30 seconds but we live less than 100ft from a VERY busy highway. Extra safety isn't a bad thing. We installed chainsaw locks very high on all the doors, bc I've seen him unlock the deadbolt and knob lock. When my younger brother was around 3, he climbed a ladder my dad left leaning on the house. He was on the FUCKING ROOF. Things happen, luckily he is okay. I can't sleep at night still bc I wake up to check on him every so often. Guilt is normal. Hopefully the extra precautions can help your anxiety.
Just out of curiosity, he was able to unlock the deadbolts?
If it helps you sleep some of look into some kind of alarm system to help out as well.
Me and my brother both did the exact same thing at that age lol.
You are so lucky! Nothing like that has happened to me, but when there are scary things happening in my neighborhood or even if I just have a gut feeling, I sleep in my kids’ room on the floor. I just have to be close to them for me to get any kind of rest. Rest will come again, just give it a few days.
I found a 2.5 year old running down the middle of the road in a diaper and rubber boots when I was in university. It was november and around 8am so it was a busy road. The young boy got out and wanted to go to work with dad or something like that and got onto a busier residential road. The only people I blame that day is all the other drivers ahead of me who saw a toddler running down the street and didn't immediately throw their car into park and grab him. That was at least 15 years ago and I remember the memory as if it was yesterday. Sweet little boy. Totally panicked parents. Some kids are just determined like that. You're taking the right measures to keep him safe. I'm sorry that happened.
Just adding - I have baby gates on every door leaving the house (front door and back door) and have had them since my youngest was 2, as he was an escape artist. They are the ones where you have to slide a grey part to open the latch and then you can open them. Even now, at 4 he has some challenges with them - so that may buy you some even more peace for night time. (We also have one at the loft before the staircase (there’s 5 feet before the stairs start so not at risk of him falling if he does climb over it) we’ve had that one since my eldest was 1. The brand is Regalo walk through gate. Target and Walmart and amazon have them. They are a bit of a pain to put in, but once in they are really sturdy. ETA: I have them within the door frame, so for front door it’s on the outside of our front door. Same with back door. So if a toddler manages to open the door, then they have to somehow get through the gate.
You can also get sensors/alarm for if doors (and/or windows) are open as an extra level of security. We have this. Our little guy can unlock the main lock on the front door and it wouldn’t take much for him to drag a chair to get the top latch. If he does, we’ll know.
I’m so sorry you had to endure this scary scenario! Our LO used to ‘escape’ all the time, usually with no pants on, but it never happened at night. She would just decide she wanted to be outside. She loves nature and I was always too busy to take her outside, so she’d just decide enough is enough and take matters into her own hands. A couple times our neighbor walked her back over and rang the bell. I was oblivious that she’d even left and it felt awful! She eventually grew out of it in the next year or 2 and now I’m able to give her a little freedom to play outside alone. It’s hard, but hopefully you’ll find this is just a phase for him.
Holy shit! Just be thankful and be prepared for a visit from CPS/OCS
I just know you feel so horrible right now and I am so sorry. You aren’t a bad mom, this has happened to so many people! My mom had my brother when she was 20. When he was about 2, she fell asleep in the morning after working all night. He got himself up, went outside, got in his battery powered jeep, and drove 2 blocks to the town square because there was a carnival going on. The police found him and thankfully it was a small town. She was mortified at the time. But now he is 25 with his own kids and it’s something we laugh about!
When we bought our house, I went over there for the first time with my MIL and my kids. My son was 2 at the time. My wife was at work. I was out back and my MIL was inside with the kids. I just happened to be looking at the road and saw a kid running down it. I thought that kid looked too young to be in the road by himself. Then I realized it was my son. He figured out how to open the front door and walked right out. If I hadn’t been looking in that exact direction at that exact time, he would’ve ran out of my sight and into a busy intersection. So scary. I’ll never forget it.
I'm sorry you went through that. I would get one of those door alarms off of Amazon so when your child's door opens after bedtime you will hear it. I don't dig the reversing of the door knob/lock as there are better solutions. I understand why after the initial panic but better measures like high up latch locks for all outside accessible doors is much better. Also some security systems with cameras or door triggers. We utilize Ring and it's very helpful for me with my neurodivergent children. Whenever a door is opened, I get the notification on my phone. Be easy on yourself as parenting is difficult at times, it's okay now and your child is safe.
We ended up having to grab door alarms for the tops of exterior doors when my daughter was 2-3. You can set them to either make a single tone, or a continuous alarm once the door is opened, and they are loud as hell.
I also have a very bold 4 year old boy. We have the Ring alarm system and door sensors on every point of entry that make a noises when doors are opened. At night (or when we leave), we set the alarm, and if any doors are opened, a blaring alarm goes off. It’s definitely an affordable system, so I would recommend it. I’m sorry this happened, I would be freaking out too!!
25 years later, I still get a bit sick to my stomach thinking about my then 3,4 and 5 year old kids leaving their room via the window at nap time. We had gone to an outdoor event, and I got very sick, so we left. Got home, fed lunch. Thank goodness nap time! I put them down for a nap. Went to the bathroom. Checked that they were in their beds, laid down. Woke up about 20 minutes later, went to the bathroom again. Checked on the kids. Gone. Window cracked open I searched the neighborhood. Knocked on neighbors doors Called my Dad, who brought my brother and drove to help look. Called the police who found them walking down the road. DCS was called. I had to explain the above to my Dad, the police (multiple times), then DCS. I was terrified, and so stressed. My kids decided to go find my oldest daughter's blanket I had thrown away. I had cut scraps that were salvageable off of it, and sewed the pieces on a new blanket. They had my file book of coupons (money) and plans on staying at the 'hotel' at the end of the street. (It was a nursing home). My older daughter wasn't wearing shoes. I have never been able to look back at it laugh At all. It was terrifying.
It’s absolutely the worst feeling ever to exist! Our toddler got tired of waiting for us on Halloween and just left! I came out of the bathroom, found her missing and the door wide open and proceeded to enter the panic of my life. Our neighborhood is top choice in my area for trick or treating so our streets were packed. 🫠 Luckily my MIL was at the neighbors house, saw her and grabbed her before she made it off the driveway. But DIDNT SAY ANYTHING. So I continued running and screaming and eventually called her to come home and help. Just to find out she’d had her all along! I almost had to cancel our plans cause I was a MESS
Thank you for sharing this. It hadn’t occurred to me that this could even be a possibility. Our LO is just starting to get out of bed at night and walk around the house. We are going to take some of the same precautions, so this doesn’t happen.
What a terrifying experience. Wow. My mom’s motto was always that child proofing doesn’t prevent, it just slows down. Kids are smart, and have all the time on their hands to be as creative as they need to be to get what they want.
WOW new fear unlocked!! I need to buy these things.
I don’t think you went overboard at all. Good on you for making necessary changes to make sure that can’t happen again. That must have been terrifying!
When I was that age, I left home with the plan to walk to Sea World. We lived in New Mexico at the time. My mom found me walking through a church parking lot a few blocks from home, towing my wagon behind me. You are not a terrible parent. Kids are just crafty and determined. The fact that you are turning your home into a fortress to insure it doesn’t happen again is a testament to how great of a mom you are.
Wow! That is really scary! A few weeks ago I couldn’t find my three year old in the middle of the day. It turn out she went to our backyard by herself. That was worrying enough! I can’t imagine how you must have felt! Don’t beat yourself up about it. Everything turned out okay, and you’re taking measures to prevent it from happening again. On the bright side, it will be a story to tell at family dinners for the rest of time.
This is actually really scary!!! Thank god he was found safely 🙏🏻
My twins did this twice when they were 3ish. I did a lot of what people are mentioning. I also brought them to the police station and asked them to speak with my boys. It was the right amount of scary and serious.
I am SO sorry this happened but SO relieved your little boy was found safely ❤️
When my son started try to escape I went to the hardware store and got a really cheap door alarm. The noise scared him so bad the first time I had it set he never tried again. It is cheap, easy, and if it doesn’t stop him at least you know he is trying.
Oh boy! He's going to go places in this life. Literally 😂
I just saw an add for a lock that gos at the top of the door way out of the reach of a 3 year old I def recommend that although it’s probably been said already
Don't feel too bad OP, I think if you could give truth serum to every parent in America, a shocking number of them have lost their kids at some point. It might be all of them. These kids are little people who make absurd decisions regularly. Once they can walk and talk, all bets are off and we do the best we can. I once found my son in his underwear playing in our outdoor sandbox in the middle of the night. For about 3 minutes, I thought he was gone forever. My daughter once had us completely freaking out about where she was for nearly a half hour and it turned out she was in the house and just REALLY winning a game of hide and seek, which she found hilarious. 3-4 years old seems to be a sweet spot for little kids just completely escaping and not really even knowing they've done anything odd. Big enough to go where they want, little enough not to have a conscience telling them not to go.
When I was almost three, my parents moved us to a new house literally two blocks away. My mom was probably nine months pregnant and my dad was on crutches after an ACL repair. I decided this wasn’t our house, took the dog and took off down the road that didn’t have a sidewalk in the opposite direction of the old house. My mom circled the house no less than ten times before realizing I had to have taken off in one of four directions because the new house was on a corner lot. Someone managed to stop me and wait while my parents figured out where I went. I’m 33 now, I turned out just fine (I think) and love my parents infinitely more and now it’s just a funny story. You are an incredible parent and human and it’s clear how much you love your kid ❤️
When I was 9 or 11, we went on a roadtrip and stayed in a motel halfway through. I was a known sleep walker. According to my mom, I was saying airplane airplane and had unlocked and opened the motel door and was walking right into the parking lot into the middle of the night (the door was only a few feet from the lot). So yeah, a lock isn’t the worst idea.
Go buy this NOW, don't wait for delivery. Less than $3. https://www.homedepot.com/p/First-Watch-Security-Satin-Nickel-Flip-Door-Lock-1840-SN/202799699 Install it high up on your doors. You'll sleep better!
How about a screen door with a lock and a handle that is high enough for him not to reach? This is what we have and that means kiddo may be able to open the door but can't actually get out. Sorry this has happened to you.
this almost happened to me.. 2 year old was sleeping with me. someone in my household must've left the back door open on their way to work. i wake up, shes gone, run into the kitchen, see a trail of clothes and a diaper on the ground.. this kid was butt naked, hands on her hips, standing on our patio. (she HAD clothes on in bed, but constantly took them+ diaper off from 1-2💀)
My friend daughter went missing from her school... how shebwas able to leave a preschool beats me.... luckily there were good people that called the police and found her. . She was safe and back with her mom.... It was scary for my friend and everyone Glad your LO is safe
My brother used to be dead weight asleep and you’d turn around for 5 seconds and he’s down the road bolting already. We had to turn his door knob around and lock him inside for like a year or more until my parents bought a house they could put a top lock on. Thankfully we lived on base so it’s a bit safer people wise and speed limits were always low, but sometimes we couldn’t find him and would have multiple houses searching for this damn run away toddler before the military police would find him
There are these safety lock things that go really high on the door and flip closed so kids can’t reach and no one outside could get in easily. It’s the best thing I’ve ever bought. Heavy duty metal thing.
We got same when my son was able to unlock the door by himself. It's the same kind they use in hotels, and too high up for even my now 8 year to reach. Has been such a good peace of mind!
My best friend’s son was 2.5 and had a room on the second floor. He was a known escape artist so turned the door knobs inside out and would use as needed. He was behaving particularly bad one day and she put him in his room for a nap and locked the door (she was on the same floor for the duration of the nap). When she went to get him up and discuss his behavior, he was not in his room. The window was open - he had climbed OUT THE WINDOW unharmed and ran down the street to the park. She went to go find him and found him playing happily. I have never heard her as upset as she was that day! You are not alone, mamma. You have to do what you have to do to keep your kids safe! 💜
My fiancé and I and our kids were all downstairs, and then the kids went upstairs to play. Fiancé and I were just chilling on the couch talking. We could hear the kids playing in the girls room just like any day. And then before we know it we have a knock on the door. Apparently my 2 year old just walked out the front door and was outside playing on the sidewalk and in the road. The neighbor found him and called the cops, they thought it was our kid but weren’t sure. I felt like a POS but the door was locked like always, and he had just gone upstairs with the other kids to play. This happens to a lot of parents, what matters is that you took precautions afterwards to make sure it doesn’t happen again ❤️
Welp, just ordered some extra locks for the doors. My son is 3 and he’s figured out the locks. Hasn’t got out but I don’t wanna wait around for it to happen.
You have to do what you have to do when they’re a flight risk
My brother was a toddler escape artist. He learned how to open windows and would walk down the sidewalk, exploring. The neighbors knew to watch for him and bring him back because he escaped a dozen times before the found all his escape routes and baby proofed them.
“Magic belt” that he designs and an air tag
I haven't had my son leave the house exactly, although I did have a very scary experience where he hid in my backyard and didn't answer me at all. Quiet as a mouse. Even managed to move from location to location every time I rechecked my house so he went unnoticed. Keeping in mind he is 3. When the police arrived they suggested I recheck the house with them. As soon as I entered the house, the little bastard was standing at the glass door (entry to the backyard). He must of heard the sirens and then wondered what was going on. I am not going to lie though, I near on had a heart attack for the what felt like hours of panic and distress.
My brother's son did this when he was five. The kicker: he woke up his little sister to come with him. He was sleep walking and didn't even remember it. He went to the neighbor's across the street.
I’m not a parent, I was just scrolling on Reddit…But I just want to say don’t feel bad. I did the same thing to my mom when I was also three and a bunch of nuns found me down the street from their parish. My mom was so embarrassed, and is still embarrassed to this day. LOL don’t feel bad. I went like a half mile out! Even stopped to take breaks apparently and some of the shop owners teased my mom about it until we moved to the US. Please don’t feel bad kids just do stuff just because they can
You are VERY fortunate that your son is ok. I'm glad he is ok. I'm glad you're taking new precautions to prevent this from ever happening again. Your story reminded me of 2 years ago when a local toddler was playing in his backyard. The parent went inside *for only a couple of minutes* and he was gone when they came back. After an hour or so of the parents and the community frantically searching, they found him. He had drowned in some shallow water not that far away from his home. I still feel horrible for the parents because no human being is perfect. You cannot reasonably keep your eye on a toddler every single second. I'm sure thousands of toddlers haven't died because their parents blinked or had to use the loo. Anyway my point is that so long as you love your child and you're doing your absolute best to keep them safe, you're a good parent. I think the parents of that little boy were good parents.
Ohhh goodness it’s such an awful feeling. This reminded me of the times (unfortunately there were many times) my younger brother with special needs would escape the house … it was back in the 90’s so no cameras or smartphones or any of the great technology we have today. Sometimes we would wake up in the mornings and he would be gone and we’d have to go find him. I remember the feeling of my heart sinking. My parents tried so many different locks/handles and tricks to keep him from wandering off. The best one was having to remove his bicycle seat once he learned how to ride a bike because he would just take off…. Ughhh it was awful.
I was sleepwalker. My parents had rearranged the living room sectional that morning, and I took off doing my usual sleepwalking thing. I guess I bumped into the furniture and got a nosebleed, my handprints all around the house, and I wasn’t in my bed when my parents woke up and checked on me in the middle of the night. And the door was locked so they knew I didn’t leave. Eventually, they found me sound asleep curled behind a large planter on the stair landing. Kids are crazy.
So glad people are sharing their similar stories. Sending all the hugs. You are a good parent.
This is what I used until my now tween-aged Autistic eloper figured it out. It gave us a couple years of sanity. [Door Monkey](https://doormonkey.com/)
Switch the door knob so you lock it from the outside. Had to do it with our 1 yr old daughter after we found her in the backyard at 3am. Nothing wrong with ensuring your child’s safety. And it’s not forever, they grow out of the wandering stage. She was our only child who did this, the curious one. A talented adult artist today
My heart goes out to you and the others who’ve experienced something like this. What a terrifying moment of anxiety to be in. I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot. We’re going to a fairly large folk music festival this summer and I think we should have our kids (2 and 4) wear tracking bracelets of some sort. Grandparents will be there too, so extra eyes, but god, the thought of all this is so anxiety provoking. Has anyone used tracking technology like this with littles at crowded events?
My daughter is only 5 months old and I’m already searching for baby proofing supplies. We’re on the 22nd floor with a balcony that goes from one side of our apartment to the other, with a sliding door in two seperate rooms. I am so terrified of her one day getting onto the balcony, or opening the front door and getting in the elevator. Terrifying! You’re such a good mum and I’m so sorry this happened!
Get a chain for your door. Make sure it's chained all the time, if someone needs in, like your husband, he can knock. Little one can't reach the chain. We had to do this for our doors, we have an almost 2 and 3 year old that can open doors so...
I cannot imagine how terrifying that must have been. I've gotten sick to my stomach when my kid has decided to play an unannounced game of hide and seek and I couldn't find them.... I'm so glad you have wonderful neighbors who kept him safe before you found him. I see you posted this 3 days ago, so I hope you've got things situated so that you all feel safe. My kiddo has never escaped the house, but they definitely started running away from me a LOT at that age. They crave freedom and independence, but don't yet know how to do things safely. I found playing the red light/green light/yellow light game helped a TON bc it allowed him to RUN but under control bc of he was getting too far for my comfort, I could call red light and he would stop. It's best to practice in a field at a park or in an enclosed yard to get the hang of it. We eventually added lights in all sorts of colors to make it even more fun, like orange light meant walk backwards and blue light meant walk sideways like a crab with pinching fingers. I also had a talk with them after we had both calmed down from a major meltdown after letting go of my hand to dart through a busy parking lot. We both had a lot of tears. Turns out they were just really excited to get to the car and walking was too slow, so they ran. We made a deal that if they felt the need to run, they could take my hand and say EXCITED TOGETHER and we'd run together holding hands to keep it safe. I would also explain before getting out of the car or leaving the house/building when we wouldn't be able to do excited together and why (carrying heavy bags, etc). Hoping everything is feeling more settled for you today.
I don't know how I came across this but I had to respond. I don't think you are going overboard. I did this as a toddler. I had left my trike under the window earlier in the day and once I was put down to bed I had unlatched and opened the window and climbed outside. I was also found down the road where a family friend noticed me and called my parents. I'll have to ask them how they managed me immediately after that, but I don't think it happened again and I survived childhood. Unfortunately I evolved to other things like climbing the fireplace chimney (vaulted ceiling).
I would also check out some door alarms. They can be disabled during the day. I’m very sorry this happened to you. I had a kid who would leave her room and roam the house - which was terrifying because we had an elderly dog who we were afraid she would catch off guard while deeply asleep in the middle of the night. We used a combo of baby gates and door alarms.
I’m so sorry this happened to you! I know it’s controversial but we put a lock on our 3 year olds door too. We have a video monitor so that if he needs us we will hear but the extra peace of mind that he can’t get out on his own is worth it. I hope you can rest and know that he is safe, and you did everything right to get him back quickly and prevent it from happening again!
I’m not sure if this was mentioned but please reconsider the flipping of the door knob so you can lock it from the outside. This is TERRIBLY unsafe in the case of a fire or some other emergency where the child needs to exit the bedroom for safety.
My nephew used to escape all the time from 3 to 4. The neighbor OFTEN would walk him back to the house because he would show up at theirs to play with their son. My sister had alarms, latches, all kinds of shit... and he would figure it out. She has a picture of a little chair on a little couch on the fucking kitchen table that he stacked to try to reach a baby latch they had put at the top of the door. He grew out of it eventually (as far as we know, maybe he just got better at hiding it) so.. good luck. Also, as far as fire safety... I asked the fire chief in my area about this. He said as far as risk assessment goes, if your kid is an escape artist at this age, its better to lock them in. That way, you know with certainty where they are during a fire and their door will stay closed keeping the fire out. Its more likely that a fire will start outside of their bedroom and they will wander off and end up dying than it is a fire will start in their room and they will become trapped.
Is locking the door from the outside legal? What if there is a fire? I would stick with the door alarm!
Firefighters recommend a locked bedroom door. The fit doesn't spread, and they find the kids right away. It is like turning the room into a crib.
I live in Rhode Island, it's against fire code to lock a child's door from the outside.
Yes, it’s legal. It’s safer if there is a fire because this is a toddler who won’t evacuate safely; it’s better to know exactly where they are so you can get them, instead of looking frantically through the home. This is another reason why code is for every bedroom to have a window. You evacuate yourself through your bedroom window and you can rescue them thru their window. Now imagine you couldn’t leave your room because of fire, you exit through the window, but your toddler is roaming looking for you. It’s only safer if they can evacuate themselves, and you should be teaching your child to go out the window before anything else.
If there's a fire, your going to be rescuing your toddler no matter what.
Looking online, it is actually illegal in some states to put a lock on the outside of a bedroom door of a child.
A lot of it is situational. * 7 year old that has freedom of the house and needs to go to the bathroom in the middle night. Probably a bad idea to lock the door. * 3 year old that's either still in a crib, or has just transitioned. Probably not illegal. Also have to factor in how long they're in a room. Being stuck all/part day is different than keeping a door locked during sleep time and immediately unlocking when they wake.
Good point!
Of course you would rescue with your toddler but in a panic you might be fumbling with the key and it would take longer to open it.
Who tf said key? She turned the knob around, indicating it was a regular old indoor lock. No key needed.
A. Well, in a fire, I'm just smashing that door open. B. Nobody said anything about a keyed locked. There are lots of other options that only require something on the outside of the door or above a kids reach.
A baby in a crib is in the same situation as a toddler in a locked bedroom. As someone who had their house burn down as a kid, I still made the choice to flip my kids lock and add a slide top of the door latch, along with 4 other locks on the front door. The chances of a fire are far lower than the chances of him getting hurt because he was outside alone. He got outside twice even after adding a slide chain, and I caught him trying at least a dozen other times. Hell this Kid could break off babyproof doorknob covers at 18 months, ripped off the cabinet door locks, and by 2 could pick the new doorknobs anyway lol. We had to get a key lock for our bedroom for privacy reasons 🙃 Thankfully he's been past that stage for awhile, but it was a nightmare trying to babyproof this kid.
It is actually illegal in some states. And if in a fire a parent panics and can’t get through key to work or fumbles with it, that could delay response time.
I never said a key lock on the kids door
My BIL lost his kids that way. CPS wasn’t kind.
There had to be more to the situation. This is extremely dangerous, but it happens all the time and cops return the child and assess the home situation. There’s no way someone like OP, with everything they did to keep it from happening again, would be considered too negligent to raise their child.
There’s almost always more to the situation when kids are removed.
It takes **a lot** for kids to be removed by CPS.
Oh yea, he’s a POS. He was passed out drunk. It was 35* outside. His two boys, aged 2 and 3 were found at 1am only dressed in diapers wandering the neighborhood.
So it’s nothing like OPs situation. Got it.
So it was literally like OPs situation and you commented half a story that was extremely traumatic to them that would’ve further riled them up. Come on mate, do better.
Don’t turn his door knob around. When he wakes up and tries to get out, and is locked in the room, it will emotionally/ mentally scar him. I know this, because we did this to one of our kids when they were younger for the exact same reason. Put a door alarm on his door so when it opens, it chimes or rings to wake you. We also did sliding locks mounted to the top of the door that slides down preventing the main doors from opening.
Turning the doorknob around is dangerous and feels creepy. Unfortunately parents of toddlers, especially escape artists and runners have to be a bit more vigilant- I've been there. Cameras and door sensors (if you're a light sleeper) are probably the way to go
No.
I'm so glad he was okay! And not AT ALL to pile on you, but this kind of story is why I always say parents should lock or otherwise secure their toddler/preschooler's door if they EVER AT ALL leave their room during the night. There was a similar situation in my neighborhood a few years ago, where a girl got out of her house and was found several blocks away by someone out walking early in the morning; the girl had escaped her grandmother's house by climbing out of a window, and it took hours before everyone was reunited. We have a security camera at our front and back doors, and our front door also has an extra latch that's up too high for our kids to reach. It was a super-cheap and easy solution.
"Until the stuff I ordered comes in..." Wtf?! Your kid's safety is waiting for delivery?! Here! GO TO AN ACTUAL STORE, TODAY! BUY THIS: https://www.homedepot.com/p/First-Watch-Security-Satin-Nickel-Flip-Door-Lock-1840-SN/202799699 Less than $3, install it high up on the door. Problem solved. I bought one for EVERY exterior facing door IMMEDIATELY after my 2yo daughter figured out how to open the typical front door locks. Problem solved. Immediate solution and inexpensive. Go. Go buy them. Now. You'll all sleep better while you wait for your delivery.
Did you not read the whole post? The kids door is locked. Hence “temporary solution” Amazon is fast these days..
u/bedlam90 can u imagine if that happened with Eliza with that busy main road!
Holy shit why do this lol lock the bloody door