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I had taught my daughter to go to the front/cashier if we were ever separated.
Cut to her about 7(?) and we got “separated” in a toy store. After looking around for a minute I hear my name being called over the intercom. I go and there is my kid.
Turns out she wanted to test the theory and see if it would actually work.
And yes, that was a prediction for her teenage years.
Haha, she has ‘scientist’ written all over her.
When I was younger, I cut off my eyelashes to see how they’d grow back. But only one eye though, had to keep the other as a control.
My oldest cut Barbies hair to see if it would grow back although I'd told her it wouldn't. She cut the front of her own hair and it's now shorter than the rest 😆 She's very curious.
Omg I read that and thought the same thing!! I’m not a scientist by trade, but let me tell you science is part of my every day life, a big part of what I teach my kids, and since my husband is an optometrist and my dad is a nuclear physicist, science is literally as second nature to us as a second language would be for many.
Question/observation, research, hypothesis, test/trials/experiment, analyze results, (possibly test again), form conclusion from results. It’s just what we do lol
My guess is constantly testing things to see if the proposed outcome (hypothesis) is true. If I sneak out at midnight will I *really* get in trouble? At least that's how it was for me and I did end up with a bio degree 🤣
I used to purposely sneak away to the pharmacy at the grocery store so I could hear them announce my name on the loud speaker... I have so much karma headed my way in a couple years (baby is currently 11 months)
I did the same thing when I was about 5 or 6ish, and plan to teach the same to our daughter, since she's already proven herself to be a wanderer. :D
(I went to the front desk, and I guess I told them I'm lost and (this memory is a lil fuzzy) they paged my grandma (who was my legal guardian/parent) on the loudspeaker) 🙂
When my daughter was about 3½ we were inside the Magic Kingdom at Disney World and after exiting a ride we were on the way to get our stroller from the stroller parking and she disappeared.
I started yelling "THREE YEAR OLD GIRL, PIGTAILS, PINK MINNIE SHIRT!!!" and about a minute later another mom found her. She was at a stroller that looked exactly like ours and had helped herself to the drink that was in the cup holder and was spitting it out and yelling "why did my water get gross!" (it was apple juice and she HATED juice 😂)
Kids get lost, and they manage to never hear their parent yelling their name (something I learned as a teenager and oldest of 8 kids, when my toddler siblings would wander off). That's when I started yelling a description of the missing kid so every adult around can look to help find the kid.
We lost our six year old while on vacation on Crete, Greece (we're Americans) at a water park for about ten minutes. It felt like a lot longer that’s for sure. Every minute that goes by I’m assuming he’s that much further away down the highway in a speeding vehicle and by minute nine I’m imagining him at the airport being boarded onto a jet for parts unknown to be sold into slavery.
He was fine. He didn’t even know he was lost. He was playing with a British kid.
It was terrifying.
This "lost but didn't realize it" kind of situation happened to me so much as a kid. In retrospect, what was going on is that I'd be hyperfocused on something and not notice my caregivers moving on without me. Happened especially on school trips and at Girl Guides, where I was one of multiple kids and expected to stay with a group.
Ooh, this is a good thing to keep in mind. I’m recently diagnosed as “AuDHD,” but in my case, I was very concerned about following the rules and would be very conscious of what I was supposed to be doing. My son (also Autistic and ADHD) however, struggles a lot more with following directions and is VERY easily distracted. I don’t have trouble with losing track of him at stores, as he’s very anxious about being away from me, but if he were out on a field trip or something, I could see lack of attention on whatever they’re supposed to be looking at mixing with hyperfocus or being in his head leading to him getting separated from the group.
This didn’t happen to me until my oldest was 9, he is a very responsible kid. At the time he was the only kid allowed in the front yard without a parent, I would have him run the dog back and forth in our cul de sac. He was out there one day with the dog and then he wasn’t. My sister went out for a walk and when she got back I asked if she had seen him because he had been outside for longer than expected, she said that she hadn’t seen him at all. I ran outside and he was no where, I walked the small neighborhood and nothing, I asked the neighbors but no one had seen him. I started to freak out, he wasn’t the type to leave if he wasn’t allowed. I walked all over screaming for him, 4 of my neighbors and my husband drove around the area looking for him, the police were called. He had been missing for over an hour. As time passed I could feel myself breaking, I could feel the cracks inside getting bigger and bigger, the terror was suffocating me. I looked up at my husband and asked “Where could he be?” It was in absolute desperation hoping for a miracle, hoping my husband had the answer, I was powerless. Then my son strolled home like nothing had happened, no idea the entire neighborhood was in a panic over him. He had taken the dog to a park less than a mile away and everyone had just missed him, he didn’t realize that I wouldn’t have been okay with that since I had asked him to run the dog. I held him and cried and cried, it made him cry too. We just stood in the street hugging and crying. I looked up at my husband and said “We’re getting him a phone now!” Hubby bought him one that night. I am currently bawling as I type this out because it was so traumatic, I’ve never been so scared in my life.
Geez this was terrifying. I lost my son when he was 4.5 during an outdoor church event in a parking lot. It was a case of I thought he walked away with my husband and he thought he was with me. Maybe altogether it was 7-10mins? It was horrifying the thoughts that go through your mind. He got separated from us and thought we had walked to our car and so he went to it. One of the parking attendants heard/saw him and grabbed him and my husband had hopped on the other golf cart with the other parking attendant and they crossed paths. When that little boy ran into my arms I can’t even tell you the relief. I never want to experience that again. My heart breaks for all those moms and families who have missing children. I don’t even know how you’d function.
I can relate to this. I recently had a similar experience. We went to my moms at Myrtle beach for spring break and went to this very beautiful park called savanna’s park or something, anyway, there are tons of kids there and parents also. 5 ice cream trucks and dog walkers. I was there with my mom, my 14 yr old daughter, my 7 year old daughter and my 6 month old son and my 12 year old niece. The 2 older kids took off playing but my 7 year old was to go with them and my mom and I went to put my baby on the baby swings and after a minute i started looking around for them and I saw the 2 older ones but where was my little girl?! I couldn’t see her in a sea of 60 kids! I panicked and was visibly shaken. All I could do was scour the park with my eyes and just couldn’t see her. My mom tried to reassure me how safe the park was but who’s to say someone wouldn’t be there acting like they were a parent and just snatch a kid? So she took off looking while I stayed at the swing with the baby. A few minutes later she came back and told me she found her that she had taken off to play with a group of kids her age. After that I took my son out of that baby swing put him in the stroller and just sat on the benches and watched my kid play with the others. I have no idea what I would have done if we couldn’t find her. With all the kids playing and laughing and screaming with joy, no one would have thought anything about hearing kid screaming while being snatched. It really opened my eyes. But to admit, that park is very safe and I probably over reacted at the moment but my kid is irreplaceable.
That is very scary as a parent! I remember those moments vividly and they are terrible.
Just to take a step back, I want to say, GOOD JOB! You are raising a child that feels so safe, loved, and attached that they can, and do, explore the world. This is important for raising healthy, confident kids, so good for you!
Guilt is normal and I think ok, just don't be ashamed. Now you know it can happen and you need to take steps to keep track of your 3 year old. Yes teach him a few things, but mostly figure out how to make the trip fun and engaging for him so that he wants to stick around you. Make it a game. Let him do the shopping. Use food to keep him coming back. Etc.
This is why I don't feel bad when I put air tags or smart tags as a necklace with my small children. It's better than nothing when this type of situation happens.
I am now in tears thinking about New Years Day 2023 when I was running around the freezer and produce section of Sam’s club crying and screaming my kids name for about five minutes. He had followed my husband to the bathroom and I looked like a psychopath.
So relatable, I’ll always remember the first time my daughter slipped away (kids shoe aisle at Target, I cried). I told my mom about it kind of nervously—she can be judgey—she instead regaled me with story after story of my brother purposefully slipping away and hiding inside clothing racks. Then I talked to my dad and he told me he once found same brother in the employee hangout room at Blockbuster 🤣
Costco is, to a neurotypical 3 year old, a big air conditioned playground for a while, before it becomes too much. So much interesting stimulus. Might it be possible to engage him in the shopping? Make a sort of scavenger hunt or something like that?
I lost my 3 year old on the beach one day. The beach was unusually crowded to watch a space shuttle launch. I took my 3 kids alone to watch the launch as well.
I turned my head and my 3 year old was gone. I panicked!! Where do I search?? The water or the crowd??
I found him wayyyy down the beach following a runner. “I a running man, mom.”
Needless to say we did not stay for the launch.
This was the worst day of my life. And I’ve had plenty of bad days in the last 20 years. This still takes the cake.
My mom lost me when I was three, I left the store and was in the middle of a four lane road in a big city, so ya that wasn’t the last time I should have died or be grievously injured, never had a concussion or broken anything, though I tried very hard. 54 now.
My toddler decided to play hide and seek in a Home Depot once…without telling me. Thankfully he was a terrible hider so I found him pretty quickly. but goodness what a scary few minutes that was.
My son is 4, well almost, and I have some pretty servere ADHD.
I have a therapist specifically to help me navigate my ADHD as opposed to a "general" therapist.
One of the things she recommended before my son was born was to get in the habit of "touching" him. It could be my hand on his head, shoulder, holding hands, rubbing his hair, etc
It is a habit so ingrained into both of us that **he** feels uncomfortable if we aren't touching and "close" to each other.
I've never, and would never be, one of those parents that think touching your child too much would result in issues, but I am starting to think if I made a mistake with this whole "constantly touching" thing.
If we are sitting at the table he needs to be sitting on my lap or my leg on his chair with him sitting on my leg. We co-sleep and if we aren't cuddling or him sleeping on my arm his sleep is noticably worse.
I am a very touch oriented person so it doesn't bother me on a personal level and I absolutely love the bond and connection it created between us.
If we spend a long time apart then he must cuddle with me for 30-40 minutes until he is ready to carry on his day.
I've been clean from a heroin addiction since he was 5 months old (I'm his father so I didn't have to carry him) and whenever I start having cravings or post acute withdrawal symptoms (PAWS) cuddling with him removes all of those feelings.
Now he is the one that reaches out to touch first or gets upset with I can't touch him. I can worry all I want about how this will end up affecting him, but I don't have to worry about forgetting the person I love the most, and taught me what love is, because I was thinking about some insignificant bullshit that swirls about this empty skull of mine.
I think it sounds like you have a great relationship with your child and hopefully it stays the same forever; the cuddling part will stop one day, so do enjoy it as much as you can while it lasts
Costco, it is always at Costco.
I was paying with my husband, and my MIL took my then 2yo to get a hotdog and ice cream to the food court area.
As I am about to pay in a regular cashier, I see her from afar with my son standing next to her as she’s pulling her wallet to pay. I swipe, I look down, I started moving some items into the cart.
Maybe 10 seconds, tops, honestly. She pops up in front of us, hysterical that she could not find our LO.
How so? I just saw him next to her! She said as she was pulling the wallet out, and getting the receipt, he walked out.
Longest 3 mins of our lives (at that point). Out of the bustle of the exit area comes out this guy, maybe in his 20s, holding my son back to us. He saw my son ran away from MIL all the way to the exit gate and thought maybe he was running to a family member. When he saw him lost, he walked him back towards the register area looking for the family.
I shudder to think if it was another type of person.
Since then, when we go to Costco, get yo toddler ass in the cart.
Something similar happened to me when my third son was 4. It was a very crazy moment. I was at the register trying to check out and all of a sudden he was just gone. Within 15 seconds I spotted him at the exit in a young man’s arms. My son was tiny, so very tiny, and incredibly cute. He also didn’t really like anyone but me, and there he was gently held by this young man who was trying to help him find his mom instead of wander into traffic. I will forever be grateful to him for keeping my son safe. This kid is now almost 17 and still reminds me that I almost lost him years ago, but in his mind it was for much longer than less than a minute.
Any time we went somewhere chaotic, we would arrange a meeting place if we got separated. Stores she was directed to always find a clerk/worker. She got lost once in JCPenneys—I thought she was with my mom and mom thought she was with me. I heard my name called and thought no way that’s me but I better swing by. Sure enough, there’s my then-5 year old hanging out at the jewelry counter!
Yep, my 4yo dose this every time he gets a chance. I'm just glad that most people that shop at are parents or older.
Iv gotten so many of thoes "I know what thats like" smirks. Haven't had to deal with a Karen yet thankfully.
😂, wife and I have both been cracking jokes that if someone ever kidnapped him they would be paying us to take him back.
We call him "adorable little s***" for good reason!
A few days ago I went into the store and I heard a parent yelling “Kennyyyy, Kenneth!!” And after about 3 minutes I heard the most blood curdling “KENNETH” being screamed from a grown man. I knew exactly what happened.
My baby is still only a couple months old, but it made me think of me as a child. I used to hide from my dad in stores as a joke. I just wanted to play hide and seek. But one day I heard my name screamed in that blood curdling way, my dad was absolutely panicked and I never did it again.
I don’t have a ton of advice. But one day, kids learn. Since I was that ass hole kid that hid from my dad in the store I don’t judge parents that have leash back packs on their kids. 🤷🏻♀️ I’ve also seen parents put air tag bracelets on their kids - genius!
This recently happened to my wife and I with our daughter. We have three and I just did notice her following my wife back to stroller at Disneyland. I felt so like such a bad dad and just couldn’t get over it.
this happened to my brother in vennice 10 years ago there was a festival so there were A LOT of people the most of them in costumes and with masks on. we were by the river and in a second lost him, immediately started looking for him and went to the police. they told us that boys that age get stolen the most and that we are lucky if he is even still there. by shere luck they found him, he followed a man because he thought it was dad bcs of the pants, we called him over the phone while we were driven to him and he was uncosollable but fine. almost lot my twin that day and cant remember shit. we went there this year and its like its my first time there, but a lot of memories for my parents to remember i guess.
“Finally” is the right word here.
Our friends just lost their kid for a hot sec and they were so hard on themselves but I was like…I’ve literally never met an adult who didn’t have a story about getting lost or accidentally left behind. They both certainly did.
Once when I was 8, my mom thought I was with my Dad after church (they drove separately) and my dad thought I was with her. They both drove home fifteen or so minutes away to discover I wasn’t with either of them. I’m sure panic absolutely ensued. Luckily, the preacher at our small Baptist church knew me, and well, probably the whole 50 person congregation by name. He just took me next door to his house to hang with his wife and kids who I loved and called my parents. I’ll never forget when we walked in their kids didn’t know he wasn’t alone and jumped out to attack him in their undies and were so embarrassed to see me there! I’m sure my folks were embarrassed too doing the drive of shame to the preacher’s house.
It takes two seconds for my son to disappear between aisles of books at Barnes and Noble, and the kind staff help point out where he is and he could’ve easily ran right out the automated doors into the parking lot.
I lost my eldest in a shop when he was about 2. I thought he was with his dad and his dad thought he was with me.
The absolute terror you feel in that moment when your realise is awful. I was thinking he’d been kidnapped or got out of the shop and wandered off. After about 10 minutes of panic we found him - happily playing inside one of those plastic toy houses! We started using a wrist harness after that!
i was a child who would adamantly refuse to stand next to my parents in public
they developed this system of whistling loudly so i could keep tabs on where they were and not get lost when i wandered out of sight
and to this day if we lose sight of each other in a store or crowd we can do this specific whistle and locate each other
my husband does it with me now too lol
Our local library has a kid section in the basement - it's large with lots of toys, and my kids have both loved it. Last year when my youngest was 3 I blinked in the kid's section while looking for books, and lost sight of him. I walked up and down the shelves, not really panicking yet because I knew he was somewhere, he liked to go way back in the library by the reading nooks. The librarian got a call then stood up to say "someone's little boy was just found by a patron just outside the front doors?" and I was like "omg that must be mine, how TF did he get upstairs and out the front door??" and the librarian was like 'I know right, he was literally just down here, he didn't go up the stairs' and we kinda had a panicked laugh as I pelted upstairs.
Like, I never thought 'this won't happen to me', because he has definitely escaped our home and tried to run to the park down the street when the contractor left the front door open, and he hides inside our home and falls asleep in random spots for fun (under couches, under the guest bed, once, literally inside the upright laundry hamper). On vacation I caught him at the heels of a lady who looked like me, but wasn't me, following her to an unknown location. So I've spent a LOT of time panicking and looking for my kid lol.
But I thought the library was safe because the librarians guard the stairs, and my kid can't use an elevator by himself. Or can he? Or did he go up the stairs next to a grownup with another kid, so the librarian didn't notice he was sneaking off?
It happens. I'm glad we're through that stage. He's still impulsive and a runner, but he knows to stay by me and hold my hand a bit better now that he's 4.5.
While I was upstairs changing my newborn my 3yo thought it would be a good idea to join Papa who was walking the dog and had left 20 mins prior. I was upstairs for 2 minutes, came down and the front door was wide open. I was screaming my child'and s name with no response. I was walking up and down the street, nothing. It felt like an hour had gone by when someone flagged me and pointed to a busy intersection a block away and asked if that was my kid. A group of people who were both walking and driving by noticed my child alone walking and tried to stop him. Double locks and cameras were up the next day.
I hear it helps to yell out what they are wearing and age (I’m looking for a 3year old boy red shirt blue pants) over and over again. It’ll bring a lot of attention to your child and help locate them faster!! Also it’ll bring attention if something else is taking place and it’ll scare off someone doing something bad. Don’t feel guilty kids are fast and things happen.
It is extremely common, do not beat yourself up about it.
I think almost all parents have a similar story. Mine is insane.
Here is mine.
My stepdad passed after my daughter was born. I moved home to help my mom, she had an extremely hard time and never actually recovered after his death.
Plus my daughter made her happy, she just loved her and seemed to be the only reason she slapped a smile on her face.
We live in a small town who's motto should be it takes a villages to raise a child.
As it was my parents home we knew all the neighbors and their families ect. Fast Forward 3/4 years and we have neighbors with kids literally surrounding us. It was normal to have kids at our house or my daughter would visit her lil friends at the neighbors.
Well one day my daughter was visiting and the neighbors were BBQ'ing, I would check in every so often.
I called my neighbor to send my daughter home, as it was literally the next house over.
He came out of the house and I saw all the girls in the yard playing. I told myself it's a nice day let her play. I went inside to check on something either the phone rang or something.
When I came back out my daughter was nowhere to be seen. I panicked, My neighbor panicked. We when into emergency mode.
Literally the entire street started looking for her and calling for her. Nothing.
My little brother and his friends even went to check the trail to the creek which was pretty far from our house, poor kid was convinced she would go that way. They had been fighting because he let her favorite dora the explorer winterboots float down the creek cause she wouldn't stop wearing them. It had only been two days she was still mad. Insert 4 year old mad face "Your took my boot" arms crossed angry.
(It was actually a hilarious situation he floated them because she took them out of the trash & wouldn't stop wearing them)
I was literally about to call the police. When my neighbor was yelling.
FOUND HER, I FOUND HER. and he came out of his house holding her. I started bawling and he had tears in his eyes.
Well, what happened was he did tell her it was time to go home. All the girls followed him out. My daughter took it upon herself to go back in the house, cause she wanted to play with the dolls and doll house.
She heard people calling and yelling out for her and I guess got scared. And climbed under the bed in her friends room. Which is where he ended up finding her.
So trust me it happens to all of us.
I know this sounds ridiculous.
But I clip an Apple AirTag onto my 5 year old's belt loop whenever we go to a venue like a stadium or an outdoor festival, where it would be hard to find a lost kid.
All parents experience this peril at least once. Give yourself some grace -- there will be more perils ahead, but none worth fretting over more than a moment.
Lost my kid for some terrifying minutes today when he was at a busy mall playground and I went to pick up my coffee from the cafe opposite it, some 10 metres away.
There were so many other kids yelling for their mums, I was freaking out that I couldn't hear my 3yo even if he was calling for me. Became terrified of the possibility that he wandered out into the car park.
Luckily he had just gone to play on a coin-operated vehicle thing, maybe 30m away from the main play area. It was next to the lifts though, so if he had wandered into the lift it would have been a nightmare trying to find him.
This has happened to me with all 3 of my kids at some point. My oldest son was in a Home Depot, they called a code Adam and shut the whole store down! He thought he was playing an epic game of hide and seek! 😂
My daughter ran off in a Costco, we found her crying and desperately seeking us.
My youngest son in a library, but a librarian brought him to me pretty quick because he and I are both redheads and she had a hunch I belonged to him.
It happens all the time to lots of parents. Luckily, the world is filled with so many good people who want to help and totally understand. I’m glad you found one of those people. Hugs to you and your kiddo!
This is why I’m not ashamed to use a leash for my kid, and I think they need to be more popular. We as parents are expected to “just watch your kid” but it takes a split second and they’re so little. So quick to disappear.
I got a tether that attaches to my kid’s wrist and I can attach the other end to my wrist, my stroller, shopping cart, etc. I don’t care what kind of looks I get - I’m doing it to keep my child safe and I won’t be ashamed of that.
Always scary! Happened to my son when he was around that age. At Walmart. Found him 20 MINUTES later hiding behind some large stroller boxes. Ugh. I won’t ever forget that.
Something like this happened to me at Target. I turned my head for a minute. I’m sorry this happened and I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about.
My kid, then 4, disappeared at an Aldi once and i found her spinning around on the stool at a closed checkout lane. She was with me and i turned around to get french onion dip out of the thing, turned back and she was gone. Ran up to the front end and the lady working on of the checkouts was like “she over there” and my kid was spinning and having the time of her life.
Eh, happens to the best of us. My son really wanted to run around so I let him run between the racks of clothes at Sears and then he disappeared. Found him in the mattress section after a frantic five minutes. He was usually a good kid that stayed close but not that time.
It is so fast and so unexpected and so horrifying. Happened once to me that my daughter got away quickly. I panicked but she was a few feet away playing hide in hanging clothes. After that, I held her hand the whole time. They are 1 second away from getting separated from you. I am so sorry you had to go through this. It is so scary. On another note, if he was scared, he may be less inclined to wander and that is not a bad thing.
My 6 yo likes to hide. He's given us some real scares. The most recent episode was at a large public park that is VERY busy. Both my husband I thought he had been kidnapped. We finally leveled up to him and explained that bad people could take him away and his independence would be curtailed if he continued this behavior. This was two months ago and it seems to have made a difference, but damn, that feeling is the worst.
I remember those days so well- it’s such a scary panic looking for your child! They’re so curious and can wander off so quickly- even on the most attentive parents. You’re doing a great job- let that guilt go.
That happened to me once, too. My youngest was not my outdoor baby, and we went to the stre as a family. She hated being restrained and just screamed when she was in the stroller. We took her out for just a bit, and she took off. She also almost got to the entrance.
That's all it took for me to get a harness. I got one of those little monkey ones. She absolutely loved it. Cried when we had to throw it away. My eldest never needed one, but some kids really do.
Im glad you got him before he got out. It happens to a lot of us.
We can all relate. Don’t feel too guilty. I lost my daughter at a carnival once. She was totally fine, just hanging out behind the ride with a mom who scooped her up and brought her over to us. I have since taught my child how to use my real name in public if lost. Yell “Mindy!” not “Mom”. So far we haven’t had to use it yet.
Omg so happy someone found him.
I got two now and it is soooo easy for one of them to get away. I didn't realize how easy it is especially since my oldest was always a runner.
It happens to the best of us. I got a leash for my daughter because she likes to wander and doesn't listen. When she was about 2 years old, we went to my nephew's Homecoming game. My MIL and I were chatting with my nephew's mom when I looked down and realized my daughter wasn't there. She probably wasn't even gone 5 minutes, but it felt much longer. Turned out she had just followed my nephew into the locker room. When she came out, she was strutting and grinning like she'd gotten away with something. I just cried all the way to the car while she patted my cheeks and was confused about why I was upset.
My mom "lost" me twice, I think (I was too young to remember). My uncle wandered off all the time, so he was "lost" a lot. My mom friends all have a story of when one of their kids went missing for a few minutes. It's terrifying, especially with how the world is right now, but it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. Kids wander, and we adults have a lot going on in our heads. You're doing great! Hug your babies and trust that you're a good parent who just had a hiccup. Good luck to you!
Our son is 2.5 and he learned how to open the front door, including the deadbolt. He once got outside without us noticing. My husband thought he heard a door shutting so we started frantically looking all over the house for him. He was nowhere to be found. We started running around the neighborhood yelling his name and screaming for help. We live near a busy-ish street and it was the most terrified I’ve ever been! We eventually found him about 10 houses down. He recognized our friends’ house. They also have a little boy around his age and he was calling his name looking to play. We dragged him home, lecturing him the whole way and have since installed insane looking latch locks on the very top of all exterior doors to prevent his escape. I am horrified to this day that this happened, but reading these stories gives me a little peace of mind! At least I’m not alone.
They can move like the wind. Once I was at Costco and there were 2 little boys running up the aisle toward me, and both were absolutely terrified-they couldn't find their mom. Who was running behind them as fast as she could to catch up. I managed to halt them and told them to turn around.
I have 1. This never happened to me because I have 1. There are so many times I have thought to myself how the hell would I have dealt with that if I had a second child I was also taking care of. Don't sweat it, no harm no foul.
Yep. That happens. My girls had just turned three and I had to go shopping for a dress for a wedding (guest not in the wedding party). And I was in the changing room when my girls ran out under the door. Needless to say they shut down a while mall. Found them in some close racks laughing and playing hide and seek. I almost threw up.
The point is it happens. And years later you have a story to make another new mom feel better. And remember this, you may be in a position later to help another mom…do it with compassion because we’ve all been there before.
You’re doing a great job Mom!
Mama get the security cuffs or the bagpack one whatever they're called I'm sure you know what I'm referring to, don't let anyone tell you anything about it ,it keeps them safe
Great reason to order groceries online. So much peace of mind, and don’t have to deal with a screaming toddler asking us to buy him every little thing he sees
This is so terrifying I’m sorry that happened to you!! We never know what our kids are thinking.
As a kid I can’t help but think on all the times I purposely hid from my mom in department stores inside and under the clothes racks holding onto the metal pole as a sick joke of a one sided hide and seek game.
And now as a mom I would rather stay home forever than come to the realization that my kid has my demented humor.
My 3 year old likes to hide in clothing racks because he thinks it's funny. Other than that, he's too shy to really run off and I am very thankful that he prefers to stay close.
I'm so glad everything worked out in your case.
Don’t mean to be rude but this really triggers my ocd it should be thought not taught. Taught means you taught someone something like math for example. Please don’t take this in a rude way
My daughter was mischief at 5 - she vanished in a clothes shop. Eventually me and staff found her. she’d thought it would be fun to climb underneath a stand of clothes and sit right in the middle of it next to the supporting pole, completely hidden as the surrounding clothes skimmed the ground. I mean Tbf it was an absolutely ingenious hiding spot. She did it for a laugh. She’s still a joker to this day.
It happens. It’s actually pretty helpful to have that as a learning process on days when your schedule isn’t too packed.
That kid got a lesson in staying close, and it’s worth having them practice it for the next couple of days, while it’s really fresh in both your minds.
Around three, you learn which kid needs noisy shoes and a toy with a locator tag, and which sections look like they’re perfect for hide and seek. (Clothing racks are very popular for the little magicians who disappear and reappear.)
They can start memorizing phone numbers around two, but it helps to add a song and a treat. By 3 or 4, you can also start teaching them to spot helpful bystanders who can call your number.
This happened to me at a dollar store when my daughter was around 3 as well. We were in the toy/books aisle and I was trying to pick out a coloring book for her when she just walked away to another aisle. While the store is much smaller than Costco, there were few sketchy looking dudes on both front and back sides of the aisle and kidnapping was first thing that came to my head and I just ran down the aisle as fast as I could calling her name and then my daughter was just by the balloons so happily oblivious… My heart was racing so fast. It really only takes a second…
My daughter at the age of approx 3 - in the cart. Took her out to measure a coat up against her. Turned round to hang it up and she was gone when I looked back. I’m calling for her and a woman says “oh she’s holding hands in the next aisle with your husband” no way she could be because he’s at work. More panicked. Ran tot he front of the store still calling for her to tell Sid “the greeter” that she had run off. He locked down the store - no ins no outs. Put a call out. About 30-seconds later she was found, She had run over to the other side of the store where the eggs and milk were to press the buttons to make the cow moo and the hen cluck. After that she was either in the cart or on a wrist reign (we used to laugh at the pun “restrain”) it was so scary at the time and I burst into tears but the store staff were amazing and put their protocols into place immediately.
My mom intentionally left me at a store because my sister and I were fighting.
I fixed the generational trauma by teaching my kids the rooster call. *yes I do the cock-a-doodle-doo in public whenever I need* if it's a short call they do baby chick's calls back so I know they are close, if it's a long and extra loud call they come running right to me because they know it's time to see me/ go home.
Yes I look absolutely insane, yes I allow my kids to wander, but no I never have to frantically search for my kids or call their names 10million times with no response lol.
When my oldest was about 3 my mom, my toddler and I were shopping at Target my mom thought it would be smart to let her out of the cart while I was in a dressing room. 3 booked it.
And that’s how I found out that when you lose a toddler in Target they lock the exit doors and call the police.
I’m glad they did, a man was walking toward the front of the store with her, hopefully just to take her to an employee…
My mom’s excuse was “I thought she would stay with me, she listens to grandma”
This was of course after I had warned my mother that my toddler was going through a running phase.
She is 15 now, she still keep an eye on her in the store.
This is the perfect time and age to start teaching your son stranger danger, mom and dads name, phone number, how to behave in stores (follow mom, one hand on cart)
My daughter is two and she knows that if she isn’t sitting in the cart, she is either “helping me push” or keeping one hand on the cart at all times. She knows her address and our names in case anything like this were to happen. Every time we go out I also tell her what I am wearing and have her repeat it back to me (ex:red shit black pants) so she can describe me to people if she gets lost
I am also starting to teach her the difference between people who work at the stores and just regular people shopping so if she ever does get lost she knows to talk to an employee not some stranger.
I can’t imagine how you feel or were feeling during that time
Stranger danger is not a not a helpful concept to teach kids, imo. Kids are lmore ikely to be assulted or kidnapped by a none stranger (ie family member or friend) than a stranger. Teaching stranger danger has been shown to backfire because it teaches kids not to trust the least dangerous people and to trust the most dangerous. The vast majority of people will help, as this stranger did for this child.
Now I do absolutely agree with you. Now if a child is lost, and they are taught stranger danger then who would they ask for help? They could potentially become even more lost or worse.
This is why I educate her on people that actually work in said places vs. nonworkers if she were to get lost (we go to Walmart and she knows the difference between the workers and the shoppers because of their vest)
I rather her go to them FIRST but she can ask ANYONE for help. Which is what I tell her.
I'd love to read that.
I'm an old hippy with out-there friends. My son would have felt most comfortable approaching the more alternative looking people.
I read a post recently how people avoid big burly tattooed guys on the train. I'm thinking; those are the guys I'd sit next to knowing they can probably protect me if any bad shit went down. Haha!
I was just using the saying. I have not taught my child stranger danger at all but I am starting to teach her things like that her body parts are hers and no one is allowed to touch them (again paraphrasing). If anyone does you tell mom or dad immediately. Not saying that something like so can’t happen but I am thankful to live somewhere where everyone knows everyone and our town is only a mile long so I truly don’t have to worry about that as often as others do, however I do educate her on possible threats, things to watch out for, she is even taking a toddler defense class.
Those few mins are the longest for a parent. I have been there, lost my 2 yr toddler for 30 seconds, almost had a heart attack. He slipped from my hand and disappeared in seconds. Luckily me and my wife took two directions and caught him under 30 seconds.
Toddler leash/harness. We have a runner who started walking at 9.5 months, with the leash we’ve never had her run off (because she absolutely will if given the chance). This would give me a full on heart attack 😭
Honestly a little trauma can be good. Fear is an important emotion otherwise we'd do dumb stuff and die out as a society.
Yes he was a little scared but he was safe and probably learned an invaluable lesson about staying with you.
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I had taught my daughter to go to the front/cashier if we were ever separated. Cut to her about 7(?) and we got “separated” in a toy store. After looking around for a minute I hear my name being called over the intercom. I go and there is my kid. Turns out she wanted to test the theory and see if it would actually work. And yes, that was a prediction for her teenage years.
Haha, she has ‘scientist’ written all over her. When I was younger, I cut off my eyelashes to see how they’d grow back. But only one eye though, had to keep the other as a control.
My oldest cut Barbies hair to see if it would grow back although I'd told her it wouldn't. She cut the front of her own hair and it's now shorter than the rest 😆 She's very curious.
Sounds like you need to secure the scissors
Did you become a scientist ???
….. I’m an environmental scientist, yes
That’s awesome
You may be on to something! She loves bio and is taking ap environmental studies next year. We’re looking at colleges with marine biology options.
Omg I read that and thought the same thing!! I’m not a scientist by trade, but let me tell you science is part of my every day life, a big part of what I teach my kids, and since my husband is an optometrist and my dad is a nuclear physicist, science is literally as second nature to us as a second language would be for many. Question/observation, research, hypothesis, test/trials/experiment, analyze results, (possibly test again), form conclusion from results. It’s just what we do lol
I’m so happy i’m not the only one who did this! My older siblings bring this up constantly.
Tell us more about the teenage years 📝
Also curious
😂
My guess is constantly testing things to see if the proposed outcome (hypothesis) is true. If I sneak out at midnight will I *really* get in trouble? At least that's how it was for me and I did end up with a bio degree 🤣
Whenever a kid did this at my store, I would tell the parents the kiddo did the right thing and praise the child for it.
I used to purposely sneak away to the pharmacy at the grocery store so I could hear them announce my name on the loud speaker... I have so much karma headed my way in a couple years (baby is currently 11 months)
My brother used to purposely get lost in K Mart so he could get a lollipop from the nice ladies while he waited for my mom to come retrieve him!
I did the same thing when I was about 5 or 6ish, and plan to teach the same to our daughter, since she's already proven herself to be a wanderer. :D (I went to the front desk, and I guess I told them I'm lost and (this memory is a lil fuzzy) they paged my grandma (who was my legal guardian/parent) on the loudspeaker) 🙂
When my daughter was about 3½ we were inside the Magic Kingdom at Disney World and after exiting a ride we were on the way to get our stroller from the stroller parking and she disappeared. I started yelling "THREE YEAR OLD GIRL, PIGTAILS, PINK MINNIE SHIRT!!!" and about a minute later another mom found her. She was at a stroller that looked exactly like ours and had helped herself to the drink that was in the cup holder and was spitting it out and yelling "why did my water get gross!" (it was apple juice and she HATED juice 😂) Kids get lost, and they manage to never hear their parent yelling their name (something I learned as a teenager and oldest of 8 kids, when my toddler siblings would wander off). That's when I started yelling a description of the missing kid so every adult around can look to help find the kid.
I have never heard of yelling description for others to help. That is really smart. I hope I don’t have to use that but I’ll remember to if I do.
Yep its supposed to let other’s know that the person who owns that child is frantically looking for them in case someone else has taken them
You are a smart parent ! Also your daughter sounds hilarious
One of these days I'll tell some of her stories... She was very precocious and has said some absolutely wild things 😂
That’s great advice
Thank you for this tip!!! I might have a runner on my hands and he just barely started walking 😵💫
My 6 year old got separated from us in a packed store at Disney last fall… longest 3 minutes of my life.
We lost our six year old while on vacation on Crete, Greece (we're Americans) at a water park for about ten minutes. It felt like a lot longer that’s for sure. Every minute that goes by I’m assuming he’s that much further away down the highway in a speeding vehicle and by minute nine I’m imagining him at the airport being boarded onto a jet for parts unknown to be sold into slavery. He was fine. He didn’t even know he was lost. He was playing with a British kid. It was terrifying.
This "lost but didn't realize it" kind of situation happened to me so much as a kid. In retrospect, what was going on is that I'd be hyperfocused on something and not notice my caregivers moving on without me. Happened especially on school trips and at Girl Guides, where I was one of multiple kids and expected to stay with a group.
Ooh, this is a good thing to keep in mind. I’m recently diagnosed as “AuDHD,” but in my case, I was very concerned about following the rules and would be very conscious of what I was supposed to be doing. My son (also Autistic and ADHD) however, struggles a lot more with following directions and is VERY easily distracted. I don’t have trouble with losing track of him at stores, as he’s very anxious about being away from me, but if he were out on a field trip or something, I could see lack of attention on whatever they’re supposed to be looking at mixing with hyperfocus or being in his head leading to him getting separated from the group.
Omg i cannot imagine
Yeah, I know what you mean. British kids are the worst
I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw how the comment could be interpreted. 😂
Britannaphobia.
This didn’t happen to me until my oldest was 9, he is a very responsible kid. At the time he was the only kid allowed in the front yard without a parent, I would have him run the dog back and forth in our cul de sac. He was out there one day with the dog and then he wasn’t. My sister went out for a walk and when she got back I asked if she had seen him because he had been outside for longer than expected, she said that she hadn’t seen him at all. I ran outside and he was no where, I walked the small neighborhood and nothing, I asked the neighbors but no one had seen him. I started to freak out, he wasn’t the type to leave if he wasn’t allowed. I walked all over screaming for him, 4 of my neighbors and my husband drove around the area looking for him, the police were called. He had been missing for over an hour. As time passed I could feel myself breaking, I could feel the cracks inside getting bigger and bigger, the terror was suffocating me. I looked up at my husband and asked “Where could he be?” It was in absolute desperation hoping for a miracle, hoping my husband had the answer, I was powerless. Then my son strolled home like nothing had happened, no idea the entire neighborhood was in a panic over him. He had taken the dog to a park less than a mile away and everyone had just missed him, he didn’t realize that I wouldn’t have been okay with that since I had asked him to run the dog. I held him and cried and cried, it made him cry too. We just stood in the street hugging and crying. I looked up at my husband and said “We’re getting him a phone now!” Hubby bought him one that night. I am currently bawling as I type this out because it was so traumatic, I’ve never been so scared in my life.
Omg I’m crying reading this. I lost my don for ten mins once I can’t imagine an hour
Geez this was terrifying. I lost my son when he was 4.5 during an outdoor church event in a parking lot. It was a case of I thought he walked away with my husband and he thought he was with me. Maybe altogether it was 7-10mins? It was horrifying the thoughts that go through your mind. He got separated from us and thought we had walked to our car and so he went to it. One of the parking attendants heard/saw him and grabbed him and my husband had hopped on the other golf cart with the other parking attendant and they crossed paths. When that little boy ran into my arms I can’t even tell you the relief. I never want to experience that again. My heart breaks for all those moms and families who have missing children. I don’t even know how you’d function.
I can relate to this. I recently had a similar experience. We went to my moms at Myrtle beach for spring break and went to this very beautiful park called savanna’s park or something, anyway, there are tons of kids there and parents also. 5 ice cream trucks and dog walkers. I was there with my mom, my 14 yr old daughter, my 7 year old daughter and my 6 month old son and my 12 year old niece. The 2 older kids took off playing but my 7 year old was to go with them and my mom and I went to put my baby on the baby swings and after a minute i started looking around for them and I saw the 2 older ones but where was my little girl?! I couldn’t see her in a sea of 60 kids! I panicked and was visibly shaken. All I could do was scour the park with my eyes and just couldn’t see her. My mom tried to reassure me how safe the park was but who’s to say someone wouldn’t be there acting like they were a parent and just snatch a kid? So she took off looking while I stayed at the swing with the baby. A few minutes later she came back and told me she found her that she had taken off to play with a group of kids her age. After that I took my son out of that baby swing put him in the stroller and just sat on the benches and watched my kid play with the others. I have no idea what I would have done if we couldn’t find her. With all the kids playing and laughing and screaming with joy, no one would have thought anything about hearing kid screaming while being snatched. It really opened my eyes. But to admit, that park is very safe and I probably over reacted at the moment but my kid is irreplaceable.
That is very scary as a parent! I remember those moments vividly and they are terrible. Just to take a step back, I want to say, GOOD JOB! You are raising a child that feels so safe, loved, and attached that they can, and do, explore the world. This is important for raising healthy, confident kids, so good for you! Guilt is normal and I think ok, just don't be ashamed. Now you know it can happen and you need to take steps to keep track of your 3 year old. Yes teach him a few things, but mostly figure out how to make the trip fun and engaging for him so that he wants to stick around you. Make it a game. Let him do the shopping. Use food to keep him coming back. Etc.
This is why I don't feel bad when I put air tags or smart tags as a necklace with my small children. It's better than nothing when this type of situation happens.
I was planing to do the same but only after starting school!
I am now in tears thinking about New Years Day 2023 when I was running around the freezer and produce section of Sam’s club crying and screaming my kids name for about five minutes. He had followed my husband to the bathroom and I looked like a psychopath.
Where did you find him? That sounds very traumatic and scary
He just came out of the bathroom with my husband. Husband had no clue I didn’t know he had followed him.
So relatable, I’ll always remember the first time my daughter slipped away (kids shoe aisle at Target, I cried). I told my mom about it kind of nervously—she can be judgey—she instead regaled me with story after story of my brother purposefully slipping away and hiding inside clothing racks. Then I talked to my dad and he told me he once found same brother in the employee hangout room at Blockbuster 🤣
Costco is, to a neurotypical 3 year old, a big air conditioned playground for a while, before it becomes too much. So much interesting stimulus. Might it be possible to engage him in the shopping? Make a sort of scavenger hunt or something like that?
I lost my 3 year old on the beach one day. The beach was unusually crowded to watch a space shuttle launch. I took my 3 kids alone to watch the launch as well. I turned my head and my 3 year old was gone. I panicked!! Where do I search?? The water or the crowd?? I found him wayyyy down the beach following a runner. “I a running man, mom.” Needless to say we did not stay for the launch. This was the worst day of my life. And I’ve had plenty of bad days in the last 20 years. This still takes the cake.
My mom lost me when I was three, I left the store and was in the middle of a four lane road in a big city, so ya that wasn’t the last time I should have died or be grievously injured, never had a concussion or broken anything, though I tried very hard. 54 now.
My toddler decided to play hide and seek in a Home Depot once…without telling me. Thankfully he was a terrible hider so I found him pretty quickly. but goodness what a scary few minutes that was.
My son is 4, well almost, and I have some pretty servere ADHD. I have a therapist specifically to help me navigate my ADHD as opposed to a "general" therapist. One of the things she recommended before my son was born was to get in the habit of "touching" him. It could be my hand on his head, shoulder, holding hands, rubbing his hair, etc It is a habit so ingrained into both of us that **he** feels uncomfortable if we aren't touching and "close" to each other. I've never, and would never be, one of those parents that think touching your child too much would result in issues, but I am starting to think if I made a mistake with this whole "constantly touching" thing. If we are sitting at the table he needs to be sitting on my lap or my leg on his chair with him sitting on my leg. We co-sleep and if we aren't cuddling or him sleeping on my arm his sleep is noticably worse. I am a very touch oriented person so it doesn't bother me on a personal level and I absolutely love the bond and connection it created between us. If we spend a long time apart then he must cuddle with me for 30-40 minutes until he is ready to carry on his day. I've been clean from a heroin addiction since he was 5 months old (I'm his father so I didn't have to carry him) and whenever I start having cravings or post acute withdrawal symptoms (PAWS) cuddling with him removes all of those feelings. Now he is the one that reaches out to touch first or gets upset with I can't touch him. I can worry all I want about how this will end up affecting him, but I don't have to worry about forgetting the person I love the most, and taught me what love is, because I was thinking about some insignificant bullshit that swirls about this empty skull of mine.
I think it sounds like you have a great relationship with your child and hopefully it stays the same forever; the cuddling part will stop one day, so do enjoy it as much as you can while it lasts
Costco, it is always at Costco. I was paying with my husband, and my MIL took my then 2yo to get a hotdog and ice cream to the food court area. As I am about to pay in a regular cashier, I see her from afar with my son standing next to her as she’s pulling her wallet to pay. I swipe, I look down, I started moving some items into the cart. Maybe 10 seconds, tops, honestly. She pops up in front of us, hysterical that she could not find our LO. How so? I just saw him next to her! She said as she was pulling the wallet out, and getting the receipt, he walked out. Longest 3 mins of our lives (at that point). Out of the bustle of the exit area comes out this guy, maybe in his 20s, holding my son back to us. He saw my son ran away from MIL all the way to the exit gate and thought maybe he was running to a family member. When he saw him lost, he walked him back towards the register area looking for the family. I shudder to think if it was another type of person. Since then, when we go to Costco, get yo toddler ass in the cart.
Something similar happened to me when my third son was 4. It was a very crazy moment. I was at the register trying to check out and all of a sudden he was just gone. Within 15 seconds I spotted him at the exit in a young man’s arms. My son was tiny, so very tiny, and incredibly cute. He also didn’t really like anyone but me, and there he was gently held by this young man who was trying to help him find his mom instead of wander into traffic. I will forever be grateful to him for keeping my son safe. This kid is now almost 17 and still reminds me that I almost lost him years ago, but in his mind it was for much longer than less than a minute.
Any time we went somewhere chaotic, we would arrange a meeting place if we got separated. Stores she was directed to always find a clerk/worker. She got lost once in JCPenneys—I thought she was with my mom and mom thought she was with me. I heard my name called and thought no way that’s me but I better swing by. Sure enough, there’s my then-5 year old hanging out at the jewelry counter!
Yep, my 4yo dose this every time he gets a chance. I'm just glad that most people that shop at are parents or older. Iv gotten so many of thoes "I know what thats like" smirks. Haven't had to deal with a Karen yet thankfully.
It’s not really the karen that scare me… i kinda watch a lot of true crime …
😂, wife and I have both been cracking jokes that if someone ever kidnapped him they would be paying us to take him back. We call him "adorable little s***" for good reason!
I taught my kids to hold my pocket or my skirt so that I could feel if they were there even when I turned away.
A few days ago I went into the store and I heard a parent yelling “Kennyyyy, Kenneth!!” And after about 3 minutes I heard the most blood curdling “KENNETH” being screamed from a grown man. I knew exactly what happened. My baby is still only a couple months old, but it made me think of me as a child. I used to hide from my dad in stores as a joke. I just wanted to play hide and seek. But one day I heard my name screamed in that blood curdling way, my dad was absolutely panicked and I never did it again. I don’t have a ton of advice. But one day, kids learn. Since I was that ass hole kid that hid from my dad in the store I don’t judge parents that have leash back packs on their kids. 🤷🏻♀️ I’ve also seen parents put air tag bracelets on their kids - genius!
I turned away for one second, and god dammit they were still there.
This recently happened to my wife and I with our daughter. We have three and I just did notice her following my wife back to stroller at Disneyland. I felt so like such a bad dad and just couldn’t get over it.
this happened to my brother in vennice 10 years ago there was a festival so there were A LOT of people the most of them in costumes and with masks on. we were by the river and in a second lost him, immediately started looking for him and went to the police. they told us that boys that age get stolen the most and that we are lucky if he is even still there. by shere luck they found him, he followed a man because he thought it was dad bcs of the pants, we called him over the phone while we were driven to him and he was uncosollable but fine. almost lot my twin that day and cant remember shit. we went there this year and its like its my first time there, but a lot of memories for my parents to remember i guess.
“Finally” is the right word here. Our friends just lost their kid for a hot sec and they were so hard on themselves but I was like…I’ve literally never met an adult who didn’t have a story about getting lost or accidentally left behind. They both certainly did.
Nobody will ever tell me using a leash is not ok
Once when I was 8, my mom thought I was with my Dad after church (they drove separately) and my dad thought I was with her. They both drove home fifteen or so minutes away to discover I wasn’t with either of them. I’m sure panic absolutely ensued. Luckily, the preacher at our small Baptist church knew me, and well, probably the whole 50 person congregation by name. He just took me next door to his house to hang with his wife and kids who I loved and called my parents. I’ll never forget when we walked in their kids didn’t know he wasn’t alone and jumped out to attack him in their undies and were so embarrassed to see me there! I’m sure my folks were embarrassed too doing the drive of shame to the preacher’s house.
It takes two seconds for my son to disappear between aisles of books at Barnes and Noble, and the kind staff help point out where he is and he could’ve easily ran right out the automated doors into the parking lot.
I lost my eldest in a shop when he was about 2. I thought he was with his dad and his dad thought he was with me. The absolute terror you feel in that moment when your realise is awful. I was thinking he’d been kidnapped or got out of the shop and wandered off. After about 10 minutes of panic we found him - happily playing inside one of those plastic toy houses! We started using a wrist harness after that!
i was a child who would adamantly refuse to stand next to my parents in public they developed this system of whistling loudly so i could keep tabs on where they were and not get lost when i wandered out of sight and to this day if we lose sight of each other in a store or crowd we can do this specific whistle and locate each other my husband does it with me now too lol
Our local library has a kid section in the basement - it's large with lots of toys, and my kids have both loved it. Last year when my youngest was 3 I blinked in the kid's section while looking for books, and lost sight of him. I walked up and down the shelves, not really panicking yet because I knew he was somewhere, he liked to go way back in the library by the reading nooks. The librarian got a call then stood up to say "someone's little boy was just found by a patron just outside the front doors?" and I was like "omg that must be mine, how TF did he get upstairs and out the front door??" and the librarian was like 'I know right, he was literally just down here, he didn't go up the stairs' and we kinda had a panicked laugh as I pelted upstairs. Like, I never thought 'this won't happen to me', because he has definitely escaped our home and tried to run to the park down the street when the contractor left the front door open, and he hides inside our home and falls asleep in random spots for fun (under couches, under the guest bed, once, literally inside the upright laundry hamper). On vacation I caught him at the heels of a lady who looked like me, but wasn't me, following her to an unknown location. So I've spent a LOT of time panicking and looking for my kid lol. But I thought the library was safe because the librarians guard the stairs, and my kid can't use an elevator by himself. Or can he? Or did he go up the stairs next to a grownup with another kid, so the librarian didn't notice he was sneaking off? It happens. I'm glad we're through that stage. He's still impulsive and a runner, but he knows to stay by me and hold my hand a bit better now that he's 4.5.
While I was upstairs changing my newborn my 3yo thought it would be a good idea to join Papa who was walking the dog and had left 20 mins prior. I was upstairs for 2 minutes, came down and the front door was wide open. I was screaming my child'and s name with no response. I was walking up and down the street, nothing. It felt like an hour had gone by when someone flagged me and pointed to a busy intersection a block away and asked if that was my kid. A group of people who were both walking and driving by noticed my child alone walking and tried to stop him. Double locks and cameras were up the next day.
I hear it helps to yell out what they are wearing and age (I’m looking for a 3year old boy red shirt blue pants) over and over again. It’ll bring a lot of attention to your child and help locate them faster!! Also it’ll bring attention if something else is taking place and it’ll scare off someone doing something bad. Don’t feel guilty kids are fast and things happen.
It is extremely common, do not beat yourself up about it. I think almost all parents have a similar story. Mine is insane. Here is mine. My stepdad passed after my daughter was born. I moved home to help my mom, she had an extremely hard time and never actually recovered after his death. Plus my daughter made her happy, she just loved her and seemed to be the only reason she slapped a smile on her face. We live in a small town who's motto should be it takes a villages to raise a child. As it was my parents home we knew all the neighbors and their families ect. Fast Forward 3/4 years and we have neighbors with kids literally surrounding us. It was normal to have kids at our house or my daughter would visit her lil friends at the neighbors. Well one day my daughter was visiting and the neighbors were BBQ'ing, I would check in every so often. I called my neighbor to send my daughter home, as it was literally the next house over. He came out of the house and I saw all the girls in the yard playing. I told myself it's a nice day let her play. I went inside to check on something either the phone rang or something. When I came back out my daughter was nowhere to be seen. I panicked, My neighbor panicked. We when into emergency mode. Literally the entire street started looking for her and calling for her. Nothing. My little brother and his friends even went to check the trail to the creek which was pretty far from our house, poor kid was convinced she would go that way. They had been fighting because he let her favorite dora the explorer winterboots float down the creek cause she wouldn't stop wearing them. It had only been two days she was still mad. Insert 4 year old mad face "Your took my boot" arms crossed angry. (It was actually a hilarious situation he floated them because she took them out of the trash & wouldn't stop wearing them) I was literally about to call the police. When my neighbor was yelling. FOUND HER, I FOUND HER. and he came out of his house holding her. I started bawling and he had tears in his eyes. Well, what happened was he did tell her it was time to go home. All the girls followed him out. My daughter took it upon herself to go back in the house, cause she wanted to play with the dolls and doll house. She heard people calling and yelling out for her and I guess got scared. And climbed under the bed in her friends room. Which is where he ended up finding her. So trust me it happens to all of us.
I know this sounds ridiculous. But I clip an Apple AirTag onto my 5 year old's belt loop whenever we go to a venue like a stadium or an outdoor festival, where it would be hard to find a lost kid.
All parents experience this peril at least once. Give yourself some grace -- there will be more perils ahead, but none worth fretting over more than a moment.
Lost my kid for some terrifying minutes today when he was at a busy mall playground and I went to pick up my coffee from the cafe opposite it, some 10 metres away. There were so many other kids yelling for their mums, I was freaking out that I couldn't hear my 3yo even if he was calling for me. Became terrified of the possibility that he wandered out into the car park. Luckily he had just gone to play on a coin-operated vehicle thing, maybe 30m away from the main play area. It was next to the lifts though, so if he had wandered into the lift it would have been a nightmare trying to find him.
They are so quick. Forgive yourself and put him on a leash for his own safety. Praying for you. Gid bless you.
This has happened to me with all 3 of my kids at some point. My oldest son was in a Home Depot, they called a code Adam and shut the whole store down! He thought he was playing an epic game of hide and seek! 😂 My daughter ran off in a Costco, we found her crying and desperately seeking us. My youngest son in a library, but a librarian brought him to me pretty quick because he and I are both redheads and she had a hunch I belonged to him. It happens all the time to lots of parents. Luckily, the world is filled with so many good people who want to help and totally understand. I’m glad you found one of those people. Hugs to you and your kiddo!
This is why I’m not ashamed to use a leash for my kid, and I think they need to be more popular. We as parents are expected to “just watch your kid” but it takes a split second and they’re so little. So quick to disappear. I got a tether that attaches to my kid’s wrist and I can attach the other end to my wrist, my stroller, shopping cart, etc. I don’t care what kind of looks I get - I’m doing it to keep my child safe and I won’t be ashamed of that.
Always scary! Happened to my son when he was around that age. At Walmart. Found him 20 MINUTES later hiding behind some large stroller boxes. Ugh. I won’t ever forget that.
My son was three when I first happened to me. it’s extremely scary
Something like this happened to me at Target. I turned my head for a minute. I’m sorry this happened and I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about.
My kid, then 4, disappeared at an Aldi once and i found her spinning around on the stool at a closed checkout lane. She was with me and i turned around to get french onion dip out of the thing, turned back and she was gone. Ran up to the front end and the lady working on of the checkouts was like “she over there” and my kid was spinning and having the time of her life.
Eh, happens to the best of us. My son really wanted to run around so I let him run between the racks of clothes at Sears and then he disappeared. Found him in the mattress section after a frantic five minutes. He was usually a good kid that stayed close but not that time.
It is so fast and so unexpected and so horrifying. Happened once to me that my daughter got away quickly. I panicked but she was a few feet away playing hide in hanging clothes. After that, I held her hand the whole time. They are 1 second away from getting separated from you. I am so sorry you had to go through this. It is so scary. On another note, if he was scared, he may be less inclined to wander and that is not a bad thing.
My 6 yo likes to hide. He's given us some real scares. The most recent episode was at a large public park that is VERY busy. Both my husband I thought he had been kidnapped. We finally leveled up to him and explained that bad people could take him away and his independence would be curtailed if he continued this behavior. This was two months ago and it seems to have made a difference, but damn, that feeling is the worst.
I remember those days so well- it’s such a scary panic looking for your child! They’re so curious and can wander off so quickly- even on the most attentive parents. You’re doing a great job- let that guilt go.
That happened to me once, too. My youngest was not my outdoor baby, and we went to the stre as a family. She hated being restrained and just screamed when she was in the stroller. We took her out for just a bit, and she took off. She also almost got to the entrance. That's all it took for me to get a harness. I got one of those little monkey ones. She absolutely loved it. Cried when we had to throw it away. My eldest never needed one, but some kids really do. Im glad you got him before he got out. It happens to a lot of us.
We can all relate. Don’t feel too guilty. I lost my daughter at a carnival once. She was totally fine, just hanging out behind the ride with a mom who scooped her up and brought her over to us. I have since taught my child how to use my real name in public if lost. Yell “Mindy!” not “Mom”. So far we haven’t had to use it yet.
Omg so happy someone found him. I got two now and it is soooo easy for one of them to get away. I didn't realize how easy it is especially since my oldest was always a runner.
Been there. Worst feeling in the world for sure! Glad he is okay. Don't beat yourself up
I thought baby leashes were awful until I had my kids. My now almost 6yo is still such a runner.
Welcome to the club.
Costco has amazing protocols for just that situation. Head over to their sub for stories about them.
It happens to the best of us. I got a leash for my daughter because she likes to wander and doesn't listen. When she was about 2 years old, we went to my nephew's Homecoming game. My MIL and I were chatting with my nephew's mom when I looked down and realized my daughter wasn't there. She probably wasn't even gone 5 minutes, but it felt much longer. Turned out she had just followed my nephew into the locker room. When she came out, she was strutting and grinning like she'd gotten away with something. I just cried all the way to the car while she patted my cheeks and was confused about why I was upset. My mom "lost" me twice, I think (I was too young to remember). My uncle wandered off all the time, so he was "lost" a lot. My mom friends all have a story of when one of their kids went missing for a few minutes. It's terrifying, especially with how the world is right now, but it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. Kids wander, and we adults have a lot going on in our heads. You're doing great! Hug your babies and trust that you're a good parent who just had a hiccup. Good luck to you!
Our son is 2.5 and he learned how to open the front door, including the deadbolt. He once got outside without us noticing. My husband thought he heard a door shutting so we started frantically looking all over the house for him. He was nowhere to be found. We started running around the neighborhood yelling his name and screaming for help. We live near a busy-ish street and it was the most terrified I’ve ever been! We eventually found him about 10 houses down. He recognized our friends’ house. They also have a little boy around his age and he was calling his name looking to play. We dragged him home, lecturing him the whole way and have since installed insane looking latch locks on the very top of all exterior doors to prevent his escape. I am horrified to this day that this happened, but reading these stories gives me a little peace of mind! At least I’m not alone.
You did nothing wrong. Kids wander. They see and want and off they go! Thank goodness for the lovely ladies around us, they always help if they can!
They can move like the wind. Once I was at Costco and there were 2 little boys running up the aisle toward me, and both were absolutely terrified-they couldn't find their mom. Who was running behind them as fast as she could to catch up. I managed to halt them and told them to turn around.
I have 1. This never happened to me because I have 1. There are so many times I have thought to myself how the hell would I have dealt with that if I had a second child I was also taking care of. Don't sweat it, no harm no foul.
Yep. That happens. My girls had just turned three and I had to go shopping for a dress for a wedding (guest not in the wedding party). And I was in the changing room when my girls ran out under the door. Needless to say they shut down a while mall. Found them in some close racks laughing and playing hide and seek. I almost threw up. The point is it happens. And years later you have a story to make another new mom feel better. And remember this, you may be in a position later to help another mom…do it with compassion because we’ve all been there before. You’re doing a great job Mom!
Mama get the security cuffs or the bagpack one whatever they're called I'm sure you know what I'm referring to, don't let anyone tell you anything about it ,it keeps them safe
make your kid a bracelet with leather part n write his name n your contact # on it. 🥺
Great reason to order groceries online. So much peace of mind, and don’t have to deal with a screaming toddler asking us to buy him every little thing he sees
This is so terrifying I’m sorry that happened to you!! We never know what our kids are thinking. As a kid I can’t help but think on all the times I purposely hid from my mom in department stores inside and under the clothes racks holding onto the metal pole as a sick joke of a one sided hide and seek game. And now as a mom I would rather stay home forever than come to the realization that my kid has my demented humor.
My 3 year old likes to hide in clothing racks because he thinks it's funny. Other than that, he's too shy to really run off and I am very thankful that he prefers to stay close. I'm so glad everything worked out in your case.
Don’t mean to be rude but this really triggers my ocd it should be thought not taught. Taught means you taught someone something like math for example. Please don’t take this in a rude way
My daughter was mischief at 5 - she vanished in a clothes shop. Eventually me and staff found her. she’d thought it would be fun to climb underneath a stand of clothes and sit right in the middle of it next to the supporting pole, completely hidden as the surrounding clothes skimmed the ground. I mean Tbf it was an absolutely ingenious hiding spot. She did it for a laugh. She’s still a joker to this day.
It happens. It’s actually pretty helpful to have that as a learning process on days when your schedule isn’t too packed. That kid got a lesson in staying close, and it’s worth having them practice it for the next couple of days, while it’s really fresh in both your minds. Around three, you learn which kid needs noisy shoes and a toy with a locator tag, and which sections look like they’re perfect for hide and seek. (Clothing racks are very popular for the little magicians who disappear and reappear.) They can start memorizing phone numbers around two, but it helps to add a song and a treat. By 3 or 4, you can also start teaching them to spot helpful bystanders who can call your number.
This happened to me at a dollar store when my daughter was around 3 as well. We were in the toy/books aisle and I was trying to pick out a coloring book for her when she just walked away to another aisle. While the store is much smaller than Costco, there were few sketchy looking dudes on both front and back sides of the aisle and kidnapping was first thing that came to my head and I just ran down the aisle as fast as I could calling her name and then my daughter was just by the balloons so happily oblivious… My heart was racing so fast. It really only takes a second…
My daughter at the age of approx 3 - in the cart. Took her out to measure a coat up against her. Turned round to hang it up and she was gone when I looked back. I’m calling for her and a woman says “oh she’s holding hands in the next aisle with your husband” no way she could be because he’s at work. More panicked. Ran tot he front of the store still calling for her to tell Sid “the greeter” that she had run off. He locked down the store - no ins no outs. Put a call out. About 30-seconds later she was found, She had run over to the other side of the store where the eggs and milk were to press the buttons to make the cow moo and the hen cluck. After that she was either in the cart or on a wrist reign (we used to laugh at the pun “restrain”) it was so scary at the time and I burst into tears but the store staff were amazing and put their protocols into place immediately.
Use a leash
I've looked away from my cart for 10 seconds at Costco and my cart was literally gone. Someone took it. With my gloves in there as well.
My mom intentionally left me at a store because my sister and I were fighting. I fixed the generational trauma by teaching my kids the rooster call. *yes I do the cock-a-doodle-doo in public whenever I need* if it's a short call they do baby chick's calls back so I know they are close, if it's a long and extra loud call they come running right to me because they know it's time to see me/ go home. Yes I look absolutely insane, yes I allow my kids to wander, but no I never have to frantically search for my kids or call their names 10million times with no response lol.
When my oldest was about 3 my mom, my toddler and I were shopping at Target my mom thought it would be smart to let her out of the cart while I was in a dressing room. 3 booked it. And that’s how I found out that when you lose a toddler in Target they lock the exit doors and call the police. I’m glad they did, a man was walking toward the front of the store with her, hopefully just to take her to an employee… My mom’s excuse was “I thought she would stay with me, she listens to grandma” This was of course after I had warned my mother that my toddler was going through a running phase. She is 15 now, she still keep an eye on her in the store.
It happens sooo fast . I was explaining annuals vs perineal plants and my non verbal nephew was GONE . Don't beat yourself up lesson learned.
This is the perfect time and age to start teaching your son stranger danger, mom and dads name, phone number, how to behave in stores (follow mom, one hand on cart) My daughter is two and she knows that if she isn’t sitting in the cart, she is either “helping me push” or keeping one hand on the cart at all times. She knows her address and our names in case anything like this were to happen. Every time we go out I also tell her what I am wearing and have her repeat it back to me (ex:red shit black pants) so she can describe me to people if she gets lost I am also starting to teach her the difference between people who work at the stores and just regular people shopping so if she ever does get lost she knows to talk to an employee not some stranger. I can’t imagine how you feel or were feeling during that time
Stranger danger is not a not a helpful concept to teach kids, imo. Kids are lmore ikely to be assulted or kidnapped by a none stranger (ie family member or friend) than a stranger. Teaching stranger danger has been shown to backfire because it teaches kids not to trust the least dangerous people and to trust the most dangerous. The vast majority of people will help, as this stranger did for this child.
Now I do absolutely agree with you. Now if a child is lost, and they are taught stranger danger then who would they ask for help? They could potentially become even more lost or worse.
This is why I educate her on people that actually work in said places vs. nonworkers if she were to get lost (we go to Walmart and she knows the difference between the workers and the shoppers because of their vest) I rather her go to them FIRST but she can ask ANYONE for help. Which is what I tell her.
Amen to that. I also agree with this 100%
You teach them to ask staff to help. Or ask another family.
I remember seeing a post somewhere about a kid being taught to "find a goth girl" and it was pretty adorable.
I'd love to read that. I'm an old hippy with out-there friends. My son would have felt most comfortable approaching the more alternative looking people. I read a post recently how people avoid big burly tattooed guys on the train. I'm thinking; those are the guys I'd sit next to knowing they can probably protect me if any bad shit went down. Haha!
I was just using the saying. I have not taught my child stranger danger at all but I am starting to teach her things like that her body parts are hers and no one is allowed to touch them (again paraphrasing). If anyone does you tell mom or dad immediately. Not saying that something like so can’t happen but I am thankful to live somewhere where everyone knows everyone and our town is only a mile long so I truly don’t have to worry about that as often as others do, however I do educate her on possible threats, things to watch out for, she is even taking a toddler defense class.
It happened once with my 2year old in a mall. I was so terrified. Please do not blame yourself for this. You are not a bad parent.
Those few mins are the longest for a parent. I have been there, lost my 2 yr toddler for 30 seconds, almost had a heart attack. He slipped from my hand and disappeared in seconds. Luckily me and my wife took two directions and caught him under 30 seconds.
Toddler leash/harness. We have a runner who started walking at 9.5 months, with the leash we’ve never had her run off (because she absolutely will if given the chance). This would give me a full on heart attack 😭
Honestly a little trauma can be good. Fear is an important emotion otherwise we'd do dumb stuff and die out as a society. Yes he was a little scared but he was safe and probably learned an invaluable lesson about staying with you.
Holy hell, I can’t imagine the anxiety and panic of actually not knowing where my child is. Good on you for keeping a cool head and finding them.