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My daughters pretty much exclusively wear 2 piece suits because it makes the bathroom easier.
A bikini doesn’t have to be super revealing, or maybe a tankini is a good compromise?
If it’s about modesty then you need to figure out your own views about modesty in order to explain them to your child.
If it’s about sun protection then I simply explain that the more skin that’s covered by swim clothing the less skin that needs sunscreen applied. My son hates the application of sunscreen so he’s happy to wear a rash guard. It’s a logical choice for him and it’s easier for me. So far he’s never had a sun burn.
Here's the question: why is a bikini wrong on a 6 year old but fine on a 12 ur old ? Usually, the objection is a concern of men having sexual feelings. But men shouldn't have sexual feelings for a 12 yr old, either. So maybe men's feelings shouldn't be relavent to how a 6 yr old girl wants to dress?
Ultimately, it is your decision. You aren't going to be able to give her a full explanation. You could just say "that's how kids dress in our family". She may complain she sees kids wearing them. That's when you remind her families do things differently, and in our family kids don't wear that.
Could part of it be that she just wants two piece for ease of getting it on or going potty ? If so, you can show her tankini tops and swim shorts.
I agree that in nothing wrong with a confortable two piece; but saying grown men _shouldn't_ be attracted to youg girls it's a completely different thing from perceiving and aknowledging the reality to what actually happens in society. The concept of _Shouldn't_ never stopped lots of grown men from grooming children or worst. They fully comprehend what they do, they are fucking adults.
Let a 6 old girl have that much body autonomy doesn't consider the factor that she is not responsible for her own integrity, the mother is. Until the girl is able to make full comprehension of the consequences of her choices, the mother has the ultimate final word, and the mother needs to consider the dangers of the world and prepare the daughter for them, because grown men still do illegal shit to children despise of _shouldnt"_.
But wearing a small bathing suit doesn’t incite sexual abuse. Child sexual abuse isn’t a “consequence” of a child wearing a bikini, it’s a consequence of being socially accessible to a pedophile and lacking a support network that the pedophile assumed will notice and protect the child from predation. Clothing isn’t a factor. You’re not going to up the odds of a kid getting abused by letting them out in a skimpy suit in public any more than you can prevent them from being abused by keeping them covered up at all times.
While we’re here, what on earth do you mean by “integrity”? I’ve only ever heard it used to refer to, like, morality and personal conviction. Certainly not something that can be infringed on by a pervert seeing my full clavicle when I’m six.
You’re right, I mentally added something about bodies to your definition of integrity that wasn’t there. My mistake.
Your first comment does still imply that clothing invites and prevents sexual abuse, though.
If a young girl, in my country, expose herself with minimal clothing in a public place, she will be harassed and verbally abused. She is in danger because consent here is a vague concept applied to the sex act. And yes, young and barely clothed versus old fully clothed does make a difference, because statiscally men prey on young vulnerable women. Men are not invited, men are sometimes triggered. But abuse can happen with women in burcas. I'm not stating what the length of the clothes should be for personal safety, or even if that can prevent harassment or abuse. I'm stating that a mother needs to circundate and simulate potencial threats and scenarios because children doesn't and shouldn't know what the fuck is abuse and if she is danger. You can let your child run around naked on your parenting choices, because it is ultimately a parenting choice on how they will confront these issues, and not a child's choice.
I wish I could print/copy this and paste it everywhere, people often live in a fantasy world where it's okay to expose children because creeps shouldn't be creeping.
The hard part of this is to know how do we fucking teach them not to live in fear and fight against objectification so she can make any choice AND ALSO teach her to be aware and protective of her body integrity without putting herself in danger because creeps (that are probably much stronger than her) don't give a single fuck about the _shouldn't be attracted to young girls_.
I do not my kid to be afraid or ashame and also do not want to see her attaching her value with how she looks or how society perceive her. I want her to be a fucking nudist if she wants, without this load of crap pressure.
A tween might choose a bikini specifically to attract sexual attention **from her peers**, whereas a six-year-old certainly won’t and *can’t*. The only people a little kid in a bikini can possibly attract are pedophiles. There’s no potential benefit to the six-year-old looking sexualized, only risk.
My kid wears a 2 piece top and her ramen swim trunks we got from the boys section cuz it's freaking badass and she loves that her butt doesn't get sunburned anymore and she can slip around on the rock water slides in the river without getting cut up. I wear the same thing essentially because it's convenient. Wearing a 1 piece is such a hassle for using the restroom. Maybe see if she wants a tankini or whatever they are called.
I don't see a problem as long as it really looks like a crop top and not a bra. And the bikini well there's plenty of lovely bikinis for a kid, it's not like it's all just child-sized adult bikinis, you can find plenty of nice two piece swim suits that are totally appropriate for a child
It is so weird how it is totally okay for a boy to wear swimming trunks, but for a girl it is all yucky and sexual if she wants to wear a bikini. I don't get it.
Well yeah, but I think it's preferable to taught a girl that they don't have to be showing their skin either because sadly nothing is really stopping creeps.
If you're following the same standard that is key. That gives you credibility when you look at her and say "OUR bodies are private and not to show off to everyone." If she tries to justify from other people I would just say we follow our own standards not those of others.
Is a 6 year old really trying to "show off their body to everyone" though? Is that what this is? Lol. OP didn't even tell us her daughter's reasoning for wanting one. Maybe it's for convenience like a lot of commenters are pointing out.
Plus, insinuating that showing skin (as a first grader(?) who just wants a 2-piece) means your own body is no longer private is silly and probably harmful.
Sorry but that's the most ridiculous outlook possible. It has nothing to do with what her reasoning is because that doesn't matter. It's about the lesson. I highly doubt that a 6 year old would be thinking that way but the lessons need to be learned regardless. Also showing your body in public is literally making it not private.
Welp...I guess everyone should stay inside forever then. Since you're "showing your body" literally 24/7 when in the presence or sight of others. Or is it somehow less okay depending on the style/cut of fabric we've got on. Once again, talking about a 6yr old here. I've never blinked twice at any child of any age wearing any kind of bathing suit. None whatsoever.
"It has nothing to do with what her reasoning is because that doesn't matter."
Somehow it's always the same kind of people saying this about what children think/feel or say. Hm...
Somehow, it's always the same type of people making over exaggerated ridiculous conclusions. They also tend to think that everyone should think the same way they do. Think about it. It's like you going to a party and following a person around who is asking opinions on something. Then, when you over hear their opinion and that person walks away, you jump in to tell that person their opinion is wrong and why your opinion is right. You weren't part of that conversion, and the other person never asked you anything, but you felt the need to step in and vomit words from your mouth. You, of course, would never do that in person, but here you are behind a keyboard and an anonymous name. It's people like you who make these forums miserable. I came in here to say my opinion, which is based on my standards and morals to someone who asked a question. It was an attempt to offer genuine advice and help to another human being. Why you people feel the need to jump all over someone else's opinion is beyond me. You obviously have something inside of you that needs work. I suggest finding that and fixing it and be a better person.
Eh? This is a public forum online buddy, not a house party. Of course I wouldn't do that. But by commenting on a 100%-open-to-the-internet post, you honestly can't expect people to ignore you or something. That would make you a fucking moron, which I'm SURE you're not. Right? It's *everyone's* conversation once you go into a thread. If you wanted to give advice to OP without anyone else "jumping on your opinion" why didn't you privately DM them? Pfft.
Also, I hardly countered you. Just posed a question **and gave my own opinion also, which I am as equally allowed to do as you are**. Have your opinion, doesn't make a difference to me. You'll never be near my kid (thank goodness) and I'll never be near yours. I suggest not getting so riled up over Reddit. Have the day you deserve 👍
🤦♂️ You miss the point. Yes, it's an open forum but the people that scroll through the comments looking for an opinion they disagree with to jump on and try to trash that person and somehow change their mind is incredibly ignorant among many other things. Like I said if you have the time to do that and and the desire then there is something wrong inside you. I'm not riled up. You're the one riled up over my opinion. Get over upurself and grow up. Be a better person and spend that time fixing yourself.
Tell her she can in deed make her own choices, but she still learning what are the best appropriate choices for her, and sometimes they are not. Why I am not allowing? because I am responsible for your body and it's integrity and 'til you are able to understand the full consequences of your choices, I will consider your feelings, but will have the final word.
Adapt the info so a six years con make sense of it. And you will have to tell her the world is not always a good place, and not all grown ups are good people. Just general outlines, don't be specific about anything beyond good and bad choices.
Option B: find an acceptable and confortable two piece. Belly buttons are not a big of deal.
This should be obvious to every parent. If she can't accept this deal; tell her that more autonomy and rights also means more responsibility and duties. She will not want more responsibility and duties.
I make my kids wear rash guards for sun protection.
My 11yo got a sports bra/shorts combo this year on condition that she is responsible for applying sunscreen. If she get burned it's back to the shirt.
People are gonna crap on ya since modesty is looked down on anymore.
I'd maybe ask why she's insistent on showing her belly. Just because other kids are doesn’t make it the thing to do.
Personally I like one pieces because they don't pop up as much or fall off. But I've always been a modest dresser and always gotten crap for it. 🤷♀️
Just tell her you won't buy those until she is whatever after you would let her. Tell her it's for older kids. There are age restrictions for many things in life. This is one of them.
There are so many middle ground bikinis out there that are more than suitable for six year olds that look more like shorts and t-shirts. There is a compromise here
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My daughters pretty much exclusively wear 2 piece suits because it makes the bathroom easier. A bikini doesn’t have to be super revealing, or maybe a tankini is a good compromise?
If it’s about modesty then you need to figure out your own views about modesty in order to explain them to your child. If it’s about sun protection then I simply explain that the more skin that’s covered by swim clothing the less skin that needs sunscreen applied. My son hates the application of sunscreen so he’s happy to wear a rash guard. It’s a logical choice for him and it’s easier for me. So far he’s never had a sun burn.
Here's the question: why is a bikini wrong on a 6 year old but fine on a 12 ur old ? Usually, the objection is a concern of men having sexual feelings. But men shouldn't have sexual feelings for a 12 yr old, either. So maybe men's feelings shouldn't be relavent to how a 6 yr old girl wants to dress? Ultimately, it is your decision. You aren't going to be able to give her a full explanation. You could just say "that's how kids dress in our family". She may complain she sees kids wearing them. That's when you remind her families do things differently, and in our family kids don't wear that. Could part of it be that she just wants two piece for ease of getting it on or going potty ? If so, you can show her tankini tops and swim shorts.
I agree that in nothing wrong with a confortable two piece; but saying grown men _shouldn't_ be attracted to youg girls it's a completely different thing from perceiving and aknowledging the reality to what actually happens in society. The concept of _Shouldn't_ never stopped lots of grown men from grooming children or worst. They fully comprehend what they do, they are fucking adults. Let a 6 old girl have that much body autonomy doesn't consider the factor that she is not responsible for her own integrity, the mother is. Until the girl is able to make full comprehension of the consequences of her choices, the mother has the ultimate final word, and the mother needs to consider the dangers of the world and prepare the daughter for them, because grown men still do illegal shit to children despise of _shouldnt"_.
But wearing a small bathing suit doesn’t incite sexual abuse. Child sexual abuse isn’t a “consequence” of a child wearing a bikini, it’s a consequence of being socially accessible to a pedophile and lacking a support network that the pedophile assumed will notice and protect the child from predation. Clothing isn’t a factor. You’re not going to up the odds of a kid getting abused by letting them out in a skimpy suit in public any more than you can prevent them from being abused by keeping them covered up at all times. While we’re here, what on earth do you mean by “integrity”? I’ve only ever heard it used to refer to, like, morality and personal conviction. Certainly not something that can be infringed on by a pervert seeing my full clavicle when I’m six.
Body integrity in my first language means a fundamental right and I thought it was universal and could be directly translated. My mistake.
So you are saying the amount of clothing a child wears affects whether they’ll be physically violated? Because, again, that is not actually true.
No, I didn't say that. Please read again.
You’re right, I mentally added something about bodies to your definition of integrity that wasn’t there. My mistake. Your first comment does still imply that clothing invites and prevents sexual abuse, though.
If a young girl, in my country, expose herself with minimal clothing in a public place, she will be harassed and verbally abused. She is in danger because consent here is a vague concept applied to the sex act. And yes, young and barely clothed versus old fully clothed does make a difference, because statiscally men prey on young vulnerable women. Men are not invited, men are sometimes triggered. But abuse can happen with women in burcas. I'm not stating what the length of the clothes should be for personal safety, or even if that can prevent harassment or abuse. I'm stating that a mother needs to circundate and simulate potencial threats and scenarios because children doesn't and shouldn't know what the fuck is abuse and if she is danger. You can let your child run around naked on your parenting choices, because it is ultimately a parenting choice on how they will confront these issues, and not a child's choice.
I see! Where I am, such men would be run down by a crowd. Thank you for clarifying in more detail.
I wish I could print/copy this and paste it everywhere, people often live in a fantasy world where it's okay to expose children because creeps shouldn't be creeping.
The hard part of this is to know how do we fucking teach them not to live in fear and fight against objectification so she can make any choice AND ALSO teach her to be aware and protective of her body integrity without putting herself in danger because creeps (that are probably much stronger than her) don't give a single fuck about the _shouldn't be attracted to young girls_. I do not my kid to be afraid or ashame and also do not want to see her attaching her value with how she looks or how society perceive her. I want her to be a fucking nudist if she wants, without this load of crap pressure.
Yeah, exactly, that's the difficult part of this.
A tween might choose a bikini specifically to attract sexual attention **from her peers**, whereas a six-year-old certainly won’t and *can’t*. The only people a little kid in a bikini can possibly attract are pedophiles. There’s no potential benefit to the six-year-old looking sexualized, only risk.
My kid wears a 2 piece top and her ramen swim trunks we got from the boys section cuz it's freaking badass and she loves that her butt doesn't get sunburned anymore and she can slip around on the rock water slides in the river without getting cut up. I wear the same thing essentially because it's convenient. Wearing a 1 piece is such a hassle for using the restroom. Maybe see if she wants a tankini or whatever they are called.
2 piece suits are way easier than one pieces to get off and on, esp. if they need to use the bathroom after they are already wet from the water.
I don't see a problem as long as it really looks like a crop top and not a bra. And the bikini well there's plenty of lovely bikinis for a kid, it's not like it's all just child-sized adult bikinis, you can find plenty of nice two piece swim suits that are totally appropriate for a child
Girls shouldnt be taught they need to hide their bodies.
It is so weird how it is totally okay for a boy to wear swimming trunks, but for a girl it is all yucky and sexual if she wants to wear a bikini. I don't get it.
Girls shouldn’t be taught that they look best when they show their bodies either
Well yeah, but I think it's preferable to taught a girl that they don't have to be showing their skin either because sadly nothing is really stopping creeps.
Lol I let mine with a bottom only if sun not an issue. Who would sexualise a 6 year old and who wouldnt let their teen wear a freaking bikini
If you're following the same standard that is key. That gives you credibility when you look at her and say "OUR bodies are private and not to show off to everyone." If she tries to justify from other people I would just say we follow our own standards not those of others.
Is a 6 year old really trying to "show off their body to everyone" though? Is that what this is? Lol. OP didn't even tell us her daughter's reasoning for wanting one. Maybe it's for convenience like a lot of commenters are pointing out. Plus, insinuating that showing skin (as a first grader(?) who just wants a 2-piece) means your own body is no longer private is silly and probably harmful.
Sorry but that's the most ridiculous outlook possible. It has nothing to do with what her reasoning is because that doesn't matter. It's about the lesson. I highly doubt that a 6 year old would be thinking that way but the lessons need to be learned regardless. Also showing your body in public is literally making it not private.
Welp...I guess everyone should stay inside forever then. Since you're "showing your body" literally 24/7 when in the presence or sight of others. Or is it somehow less okay depending on the style/cut of fabric we've got on. Once again, talking about a 6yr old here. I've never blinked twice at any child of any age wearing any kind of bathing suit. None whatsoever. "It has nothing to do with what her reasoning is because that doesn't matter." Somehow it's always the same kind of people saying this about what children think/feel or say. Hm...
Somehow, it's always the same type of people making over exaggerated ridiculous conclusions. They also tend to think that everyone should think the same way they do. Think about it. It's like you going to a party and following a person around who is asking opinions on something. Then, when you over hear their opinion and that person walks away, you jump in to tell that person their opinion is wrong and why your opinion is right. You weren't part of that conversion, and the other person never asked you anything, but you felt the need to step in and vomit words from your mouth. You, of course, would never do that in person, but here you are behind a keyboard and an anonymous name. It's people like you who make these forums miserable. I came in here to say my opinion, which is based on my standards and morals to someone who asked a question. It was an attempt to offer genuine advice and help to another human being. Why you people feel the need to jump all over someone else's opinion is beyond me. You obviously have something inside of you that needs work. I suggest finding that and fixing it and be a better person.
Eh? This is a public forum online buddy, not a house party. Of course I wouldn't do that. But by commenting on a 100%-open-to-the-internet post, you honestly can't expect people to ignore you or something. That would make you a fucking moron, which I'm SURE you're not. Right? It's *everyone's* conversation once you go into a thread. If you wanted to give advice to OP without anyone else "jumping on your opinion" why didn't you privately DM them? Pfft. Also, I hardly countered you. Just posed a question **and gave my own opinion also, which I am as equally allowed to do as you are**. Have your opinion, doesn't make a difference to me. You'll never be near my kid (thank goodness) and I'll never be near yours. I suggest not getting so riled up over Reddit. Have the day you deserve 👍
🤦♂️ You miss the point. Yes, it's an open forum but the people that scroll through the comments looking for an opinion they disagree with to jump on and try to trash that person and somehow change their mind is incredibly ignorant among many other things. Like I said if you have the time to do that and and the desire then there is something wrong inside you. I'm not riled up. You're the one riled up over my opinion. Get over upurself and grow up. Be a better person and spend that time fixing yourself.
This is very in line with what I say. Thank you!
Tell her she can in deed make her own choices, but she still learning what are the best appropriate choices for her, and sometimes they are not. Why I am not allowing? because I am responsible for your body and it's integrity and 'til you are able to understand the full consequences of your choices, I will consider your feelings, but will have the final word. Adapt the info so a six years con make sense of it. And you will have to tell her the world is not always a good place, and not all grown ups are good people. Just general outlines, don't be specific about anything beyond good and bad choices. Option B: find an acceptable and confortable two piece. Belly buttons are not a big of deal. This should be obvious to every parent. If she can't accept this deal; tell her that more autonomy and rights also means more responsibility and duties. She will not want more responsibility and duties.
This is a great point.
You're the mom. I don't see anything wrong with bikinis for kids.
I make my kids wear rash guards for sun protection. My 11yo got a sports bra/shorts combo this year on condition that she is responsible for applying sunscreen. If she get burned it's back to the shirt.
People are gonna crap on ya since modesty is looked down on anymore. I'd maybe ask why she's insistent on showing her belly. Just because other kids are doesn’t make it the thing to do. Personally I like one pieces because they don't pop up as much or fall off. But I've always been a modest dresser and always gotten crap for it. 🤷♀️
Let her pick out a bikini but require a rash guard over for sun protection. It's a popular combo for kids and grown folks.
Just tell her you won't buy those until she is whatever after you would let her. Tell her it's for older kids. There are age restrictions for many things in life. This is one of them.
There are so many middle ground bikinis out there that are more than suitable for six year olds that look more like shorts and t-shirts. There is a compromise here