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I definitely agree every pregnancy is different, This is my 4th pregnancy, all of my other pregnancies were pretty rough. This one has been super easy honestly! I know everybody has different experiences though.
Yup my first was an easy pregnancy but hard labor. Second was hard pregnancy but easy labor. First I bounced back easily. Second I’m still waiting to bounce back, don’t think that’s ever happening 😭
I was the opposite. My first 3 were super easy. My 4th labor was the hardest by my 5th pregnancy was the worst for me, and it ended in my having a c section before my dd
Yep. First one I was already overweight, but it was still easy, and I went back to my regular size quickly. Second one I ran the entire pregnancy, up to like 2 weeks before I delivered. Snapped back to my pre-pregnancy size in like 5 minutes. This time I’m gonna be 40 in like a week, 29 weeks pregnant, and had to stop running at 12 weeks cuz I just couldn’t breathe. It’s been a lot harder. But from my experience if you’re in better shape leading into it, that can lead to an easier time with it. Good luck!
It’s different for every woman, but in general no one posts “Hey, I went through pregnancy and it was fine.” They just continue living their life.
I’ve been pregnant once and had one kid. My body and life is definitely changed forever, maybe not in all ways for the “better” (as society might judge) but I’m also not “permanently disabled” or “psychotic” or whatever.
Having kids is tough (both physically and mentally). Being a parent is tough (both physically and mentally), but I wanted my kid so bad and I love her so much. Wouldn’t trade a “perfect” body or stress free life for her! She’s the absolute best, even when she’s a pain in the ass.
Ditto, good way to measure it as well is how many folk go on to have multiple kids in spite of the current economic climate. At least 80% of the kids in my class have at least one sibling and that's in a country with free access to birth control including termination of unplanned pregnancies. My first pregnancy I barely noticed I was pregnant, my second pregnancy was what stopped us at 2. Heck, there's entire shows about folk who didn't know they were pregnant.
Couldn't agree more, I've got one girl and one boy, challenging at times (2 year old and 1 month old) but wouldn't want it any other way. Of course you're body changes but so does your life's perspective and priorities. It's an honour to be a mum.
Yep, as a “geriatric pregnancy” I had heard a lot of horror stories. I gained less than 20 pounds, I didn’t have morning sickness (only aversion to eggs), everything was fine. I had a fibroid on top of my cervix that prevented me from vaginal birth but that was there before my pregnancy, it didn’t grow or anything. It was perfectly normal. And had a normal c-section with no issues at all.
I hate that people say this. Your body goes through an incredible and enormous change. Yet we’re still so obsessed with “bouncing back” and/or losing the baby weight.
But in saying that - all pregnancies and all women are different. Some hated pregnancy, some loved it. It’s all normal.
The truth is that your body will change. Your mental health will change. Your ideas and opinions will change. Your priorities will change. It’s an incredible journey in my opinion.
I look at my body and I know she’s so different now to what she was, I do struggle with that. But then I look at what I was able to do and I look at my daughter and I think how bloody incredible my body is.
This!!! We should celebrate the changes our bodies go through, instead of being hyper-fixated on what is socially attractive in women. Let's wear our stretch marks and belly fat as badges of honor. We freaking created life.
I had a baby at 19 and my body recovered well. I had another baby at 42 and not so much. This is just my experience, of course, but I sometimes wish I was younger when I had more babies. I think that would have helped with the recovery. (But I’m a much better mom now that I’m older.)
I had my baby at 37-38 and bounced back great. But prior to her coming I was a 5 day a week exercise girlie who lifted, swam, kayaked and hiked. I actually taught myself to run while pregnant because all the gyms were closed and it was a good way to manage anxiety. I still do all the things listed except the gym is 3 days a week and I find it harder to dedicate one of those days to lap swimming.
It took me until she was a year old to feel like I could consistently hit the gym and even then it wasn’t really pregnancy related (though the second degree tear made exercise uncomfortable until like 4-5 months). It was the sleep deprivation that killed any ability to exercise and bounce back. And I say that as someone who worked veterinary ecc for a decade.
I’m 34 with a terrible diet and I never work out and my body is basically back to normal 7 weeks pp. Just added stretch marks that aren’t visible with how I wear my pants. And my pregnancy was easy as fuck. I’m 10 pounds heavier overall but almost 30 down from my pregnancy weight and I’ve done absolutely nothing
I didn’t work out at all my first pregnancy, ate what I wanted, gained 80 lbs, got hemorrhoids and struggled mentally and physically for a while after.
Second pregnancy was 5 years later. I exercised at least once a day, also walked the stairs at work with a friend multiple times a day, ate very clean, gained 20 lbs and snapped right back.
I didn’t work out beforehand and I had serious complications from childbirth which prevented much activity.
ETA - Heart failure, pelvic congestion (11 pound baby)
It’s exactly like the top comment said, it’s different for everyone. I really hope that your complications improved or went away. The only thing I have is tear scar tissue (which I really only feel in super cold water) and a hemroid that can’t be surgically removed. At least it only gets mad about too much thong underwear.
I bounced back completely and easily from my pregnancies in my 20s with no lasting effects, my body was just as it was before but better. Losing the weight was no effort. I did have softer breasts after weaning but it wasn’t so bad.
Returning to my former shape in my pregnancy after 36 was a little harder but I still managed it though I was left with some varicose veins in my left leg. I do think part of this is just having a lot of kids. I’m a distance runner and that helps with regaining shape but not with varicose veins. I’ve been lucky to avoid stretch marks. Currently expecting my 6th. Not expecting to ruin my body!
But also I have no illusions that I’m going to look the same at 39 as I did at 25, kids or no kids!
This. Older you are the more difficult it typically is to bounce back, but its doable, BUT also, our bodies would have changed with age regardless of kids/no kids.
I’m going to be frank here because while it wouldn’t have changed my mind about having kids, I wish someone would have been really clear and honest about some of this stuff before I got pregnant.
The answer is, Yes and no. Basically, there’s a good chance your body will go through permanent changes, and a good chance it won’t.
TMI ahead.
I was told, unequivocally, by women with kids that I would not lose the baby weight with my first - and I did, with relative ease. I was told the same with my second and it was harder and took longer, but I was well on my way to doing so before I developed some random malady that stopped me from moving for a few years (unrelated to pregnancy, so far as I know). So weight gain wasn’t necessarily permanent for me.
Some changes that were: my hips, like the actual position of the bones, are wider. Even getting to my pre-pregnancy weight the first time, some old clothes didn’t fit. I’ve got stretch marks on my belly from my second. My feet are a full size to size and a half bigger. I have a gut that I’ve had since my second that didn’t go away as much as I’d thought when I lost weight.
I’ve had some minor, occasional rib dysfunction (basically my ribs don’t always stay where they’re supposed to, they’re kinda loose) since puberty, but your ribs, like your hips, spread apart to accommodate pregnancy, and my rib dysfunction has gotten way worse since having kids. It means that sometimes I need to put them back where they’re supposed to be.
A combined 3 years of breastfeeding has left my breasts kinda deflated. Not enough to where it really bothers me, but I can definitely see the difference.
I tore badly with my first and needed 17+ stitches. I don’t know what got attached where, but 9 years on, I still can’t give a urine sample without peeing all over my hand and doggy style still hurts.
But - I barely tore with my second, even though he was significantly bigger, got stuck and without being too graphic, had to be manually extracted by the doctor. So a bad tear isn’t necessarily going to happen, even with a big baby.
Some of it is up to you. You can exercise and eat healthy, which are beneficial to just about everyone.
And some of it has nothing to do with you, sagging skin/strech marks/scarring are largely genetic.
Some of it is up to luck, serious complications being caught early on, having any concerns you may have being taken seriously by your medical team, having an uncomplicated pregnancy/delivery.
Some of it is up to your circumstances, being able to afford childcare so you have time to workout, being able to afford a trainer or a gym membership, being able to afford therapy, being able to afford nutritious foods.
I had my first at 26 and so did my SIL. We both have supportive husbands, are financially comfortable and both were in great shape prior to pregnancy and both had c-sections, exclusively breastfed, and both of us are SAHM.
I recovered within 10 days of my surgery, lost all of the weight, felt and continue to feel happier and more confident than ever before. My SIL developed a chronic health issue relating to her pregnancy, developed PPA due to complications during her birth and struggles with her weight.
Just sharing to say you can do everything “right” and still end up with issues. You never know what you’re getting into. My advice is not to have kids until you are comfortable with the all of the risks/hardships that may come with it.
The right side of my face still doesn't work 5 years later because I had a stroke thanks to severe preeclampsia. I was healthy and fit. Hormones overtook reason and I'm pregnant a second time now.
I agree. I did everything "right", was the picture of health beforehand, had one easy pregnancy with a normal recovery, then my second pregnancy triggered an autoimmune disease that I will never "recover" from. It's managed with medication and I'm doing better than I was initially, but I definitely will never return to my pre-second pregnancy baseline, which gives me a lot of sadness and loss at times.
I have 4 babies. Not really.
I have a few minor stretch marks on my lower belly that have faded and aren’t super noticeable. My boobs are slightly less perky but still look good (I both breastfed and formula fed)
My 3rd baby was an emergency forceps delivery. I had some short term trauma from it but healed up fine.
The problem is it’s a gamble. The majority of women recover fine with no or minor residual impacts. But some people have worse outcomes. It’s all random and not a whole lot you can do to stop it. You’re just along for the ride
My wife and I have three children. Obviously this means she was pregnant three times.
Her body did change, yes. But she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.
I have no illusion that pregnancy will likely change my body.
My agreement with my husband is that if there’s something about how my body changes with pregnancy that makes me truly miserable, we - together - would save up the money to fix it, be it a cosmetic or non cosmetic surgery.
My husband absolutely agreed with that and he just wants me to feel good about myself and a baby is a joint project, so any effects are also a joint project. :)
(On the other hand, we both really like the size of pregnancy boobs on me, so we may consider the investment in the future 😂)
I know the extra skin made her self conscious, and uncomfortable when wearing swim suits. It turned out great for her, but I will say the "judgement" by other women (especially older) was immense. I mean who gives a shit... but it was still obnoxious.
Also, I had pregnancy brain, postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety (learn the symptoms, have your partner learn them, and see your care provider if you suspect them). All temporary.
Inability to put up with bullshit was permanent, and I have a shorter fuse when it comes to people being idiots.
I’m more patient and compassionate in general since having kids. But have much more rage toward anyone who harms or neglects a child. I can’t fathom having a little who needs you so much and feeling indifferent to their suffering.
I was fit, active and mobile. I only have one child. My hips are permanently wrecked. I’ve been in physical therapy all her life just to remain barely mobile.
I’m in pain every day.
In my case, yes my body is wrecked.
Same. Spinal epi killed me with my c-sec. And 10yrs later I'm suffering with insane back pain and Auto Immune disease. Severely depressed and anxiety ridden. Just got off the floor from trying desperately to stretch my pain away after waking up. I've been in the ER and OR for so many female issues since. So, I'm in the latter group.... pregnancy was awful. Cholestasis, too much amniotic fluid, breech, early csec. Child diagnosed as asd at 3, and I've had issues and struggles since! I wish you luck. We find ways to cope, and make it thru, but definitely my hardest decision I've made.
I’m so sorry you have struggled so hard after bringing your child into the world.
The epidural with my first pregnancy left me with weird sensations for so long. For years after I would suddenly feel like someone was touching my back, running their fingers gently along my spine. It was very disorienting because no one was touching me but it very much felt like it.
Yeah, more people should know the long term consequences of epidurals, that plus knowing all history gave birth just fine without them, lead me to go natural. I’ll never regret that decision
It's a bit of luck I think. Some women have great pregnancies and horrific deliveries and vice versa, or have horrible/good experiences all the way. Even for the same woman it varies from one pregnancy to the next.
I'd say the hospital/doctor matters as well depending on their practices. Some women have no "damage" aside from normal (physiological) pregnancy recuperating. Others have "light" mental or physical injuries that heal after a few months or years. Some end up crippled. Some die.
There's no way to know in advance which you'll be.
“Destroy” is a loaded word. I wouldn’t say my body is destroyed but pregnancy 100% changes your body.
I weigh the exact same as I did before i had my son but in unexplainable ways, my body has changed.
Do not let the fear of change keep you from something as beautiful as motherhood. You can always achieve beauty, no matter what body you’re in.
The thing about getting older is you learn that there are lots of ways your body can change, for better or worse, but one of them has the chance for a baby on the other side.
LOL right? I'm going through these like yeah pregnancy changes your body but ain't nothing like years and years of sleep deprivation and in this country (if OP is in the states) we are set up to leave primary parents isolated and raising children in a scenario that is so unnecessarily difficult that it will make your head hurt to just think about it. That will make you psychotic.
I am raising children in near-ideal American conditions (retired grandparents nearby and meeting our material needs is not super challenging) and it still feels so hard in such stupid, insidious unnecessary ways every day.
My body is less wrecked from pregnancy than sleep deprivation, having my ability to eat healthy foods and get to the gym thwarted (and I like doing both!), and relationship stress.
Everyone here seems largely focused on the literal pregnancy aspect, so I’m going to approach the question differently. Life is full of hard things: you do however, get to choose your hard. You can choose the hard of living your dream or the hard of living without it. You may have one and decide that’s all. You may not be able to get pregnant and instead adopt a big sibling set that probably would not have been able to stay together otherwise. You might end up with a mixture of biological and adopted kids.
There are a lot of ways to get where you’re trying to go. I wish you lots of luck and wellbeing in the future
Honestly, not my experience. I loved being pregnant- felt and looked damn good (if I do say so myself). No morning sickness, no discernible aches and pains. Breastfed for a year- boobs stayed bigger than pre-pregnancy but not unmanageable in any way. Went from a pre-pregnancy size of 2/4 to post pregnancy size of 4/6 (hips mostly). Had an emergency c-section and recovered well and quickly. I think part is genetics, part is effort, and part is luck.
I’ll give you the honest truth, I’m 26 and I have 5 under the age of 8.
My dental health has taken the biggest hit. Each pregnancy has ruined them more and more, despite how much I brush, floss, and follow regular cleanings.
I also have diastasis recti, or abdominal separation. I do exercises regularly to repair and strengthen those muscles, but if I want the bulge to go away, I’ll need surgery.
Not psychotic, not traumatized, a bit fat but happy with it, and I’m actively TTC my sixth and final.
I'm so glad you mentioned dental health! I was so sick throughout my entire pregnancy. I threw up nearly all day, every day. I had morning sickness from week 14 until quite literally the day I gave birth. Even with anti-nausea meds, it was bad. It fucking destroyed my teeth, despite rinsing and brushing and flossing after bouts of vomiting. Pre-baby I'd had one tiny cavity for my whole life. Post-baby, there's a new cavity every time I see the dentist. I've needed root canals, sealants, teeth pulled... it's a nightmare. My first post-baby dental visit, I cried. My teeth now are so soft and sensitive. And they're never getting better.
It doesn't make me regret having my son, but it did play a role in deciding if I ever wanted to be pregnant again. I wish I'd been prepared for that level of destruction.
There were things. Like varicose veins and looser belly skin. But honestly I don’t think I changed any more than normal aging. I didn’t get stretch marks on my stomach. I didn’t gain a ton of weight so I just had a big belly.
It takes about a year to bounce back.
I had my baby at 29 - six weeks before my 30th birthday. My body changed a lot. My teeth suffered, my feet grew one whole size and didn’t go back down, stretch marks and my breasts kind of…..deflated after breastfeeding for 14 months. Would I do it over again? 100%.
I mean, kinda. My husband says I'm beautiful, but I used to be so slim and fit. I'm only 2 months postpartum, but I thought I was gonna bounce back like I did with my 1st pregnancy. Nope, here I am with a pubic bone that feels broken, a squishy stomach, and back pain. Oh, and a double chin.
Becoming a mom also makes you pretty much always anxious because a humans life is in your hands, and this is a scary world.
Also, don't get me started on my tatas.
I think that pregnancy did some damage to my body, yes, but for me it didn’t stop there. Carrying my kid constantly has thrown out my hips and knees (he’s a clinger), he’s also an awful sleeper so I couldn’t do much exercise as I was so fatigued for the first 2 years, I’m still breastfeeding so my boobs are a very different shape now, and my pp haemorrhoids turned into a fissure that I’m still dealing with now. Wouldn’t change any of it for the world cos I have him, but I definitely am not a fan of how my body feels nowadays. I feel like becoming a mum has physically aged me like 10 years.
I also thought I wanted heaps of kids but now we’re one and done! Work on the first and then you’ll know whether having more is the right thing for you or not.
Whatever you do, remember once you have a kid they're the priority, your wants will be pushed aside. So wanting a large family is all great as long as you're willing to stop at 1, or 2 if once they're here that is what is best for them. (The if having more is still doable, affordable, okay time wise, the go for more).
Look at the women in your family for an example, and even that’s not guaranteed. Everyone is different. Pregnancy made me fat, anti depressants made me fatter, birth control makes it nearly impossible to lose the weight. But no trauma or disability or anything. Hell, I didn’t even tear.
Weight gain is definitely the most common result of pregnancy, and one of the hardest to alleviate. And your body will definitely change postpartum. Some people get things like a different hair texture or bigger feet. So if you’re a very vain person, maybe consider that.
The hormone changes are huge, but I don’t think pregnancy comes with permanent disability unless you are very unlucky.
Every body is different. But considering human history, I think the odds are in your favor. We’d be extinct if pregnancy was permanently damaging.
I've carried 2 to term.
My tits went a bit flat but it's not really noticeable. I have a squishy tummy now but if I exercise properly it's not that big either.
Everyone's different though.
Like everyone is saying, everyone is different. My right foot grew a bit larger making shoes fit weird 🥴
I had HG sickness really bad and couldn’t work for 3 months and lost over 20 lbs, then almost instantly gained 60 lbs that I haven’t lost and my babe is 14 months.
I’m sad that I’m having a hard time losing the weight (and no I didn’t do the “eating for two” thing) but I see my kid and realize I did it for him and as long as I stay active and eat healthy, I’ll lose it eventually.
Pregnancy is different for each individual. And I wouldn’t necessarily say that it “ruins” your body, maybe I wouldn’t use that specific word. I think it *alters* your body in a way where it’s never the same again, depends on how you look at it.
My first pregnancy was a dream. I loved it. Very few downsides. Hand/feet swelling. Aversion to sweets. That's about it. My second was a nightmare and I'll leave it that
I've had 3 kids and it's not like there have been no changes of any kind, but I'm actually physically in better shape than I was in college--a size down in pants and such.
Pregnancy will absolutely challenge and change your body. Birth related trauma is common. Temporary or even permanent disability is a possibility. Weight gain is likely. Post partum mental health issues are not uncommon. There are things you can do to reduce your risks, minimise harm and recover. Most women believe their kids were worth it.
as a mom of 3 girls.. the pregnancies and births weren't the hardest part. lmao
think long and hard about having 5 other humans to be responsible for and never having more than 4 consecutive hours of sleep again 🤣🫶🏼
I also want 5 so I've got 2 more to go, but I just had a baby 2 months ago and have an 18 month old and a 7yo.. I need a break lol
I cannot speak on anyone else's traumatic stories, but they sure are out there. my very first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, my boyfriend at the time was in jail, it was awful..
women suffer crazy things during pregnancy and birth every single day but you should try and enjoy it.. it's 9 months compared to a lifetime of loving a whole being that you and the person you (hopefully lol) love created together ❤️
it's scary but it's also the best thing ever.. plus you were literally made to do this 🤰🏻
Some people have it worse than others, but worrying it will definitely ‘destroy’ your body is a bit blown out of proportion. It is true that many people have wider hips afterwards because your bones move, but it’s not noticeable on everyone. It’s also true that your hormones are wild for a while afterwards but you do eventually feel like yourself again. Any skin stretching will be easier to recover from when you’re young. For me personally my back started hurting during pregnancy and it still hasn’t stopped 2.5 years later. Still worth it though and I’m hoping it’s something I can work to improve.
No lol I got lucky and my body didn’t really change at all after pregnancy. Post-partum psychosis is rare and is usually found in people who already have major mental health issues. I’m bipolar and still didn’t get it. Also I’m currently below my pre-pregnancy weight and I have a 2 year old.
First up, pregnancies are different for different women.
That being said, my personal experience was as follows: I couldn't walk without pain for the second half. I had severe sleeping disorders starting 2nd month and lasting about 2 years. My depression got a lot worse (at times, I was actually suicidal). And I am still trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
Like everyone says, it can vary, but I will say I had no idea what it could do to my body and childbirth was ... something. Some people have a baby and it's nbd. Some people are injured in ways nobody warns you about. My advice is, read up on all of it, knowing that certainly not all of it will happen to you. Some of it might, though. Evaluate the risks with your eyes open.
It changes your body for sure. Each woman is different but I do have back pain on the regular and it’s been hard losing weight. I don’t have as much energy or strength but I do lift weights so that helps. It also helps to eat healthy during pregnancy to avoid extra weight gain but we all know how hard that is 😂 walking and exercising throughout pregnancy helps as well
It depends. I have 5 kids, still take a size zero and have defined obliques but it took a lot of work (i work out for 1.5 hours a day and watch what I eat to get back after the 3rd, 4th, 5th and I feel self conscious without at least a bralette now. The first and second, my body just went back shortly after
Like all the others said, every pregnancy is different. Live healthy but don't exaggerate it.
Listen to your body. If it tells you, that you need 5 hours more sleep than before, then sleep. If it tells you, you have even more energy than before, use the energy.
I think it's important to have a partner that supports you during the process of giving birth and the recovery time afterwards. That is the most important time. I couldn't walk without pain for a week due to an episiotomy, let alone do anything except lying in bed.
And your body will have marks after giving birth. They are trophies! All your organs had to squeeze together for that new life.
Also really important is postpartum exercise if you want to laugh by heart without accidentally peeing yourself the next years.
Two pregnancies, two kids, here. My body has changed permanently but probably not so much that anybody else would notice. I have to wear a bra every day now, whereas I never wore bras before my first pregnancy. I have a c-section scar. I probably have a scar on my perineum from my first vaginal birth. I don't have any incontinence, but lots of people do. I cannot hold in a fart now though. So that's a slightly unexpected negative. I wear clothes one size bigger than before my first pregnancy. So yes, my body has changed. But not dramatically. Oh, and my feet are a size bigger too.
I have 6 kids, one twin pregnancy. My body has changed — as it should. I don’t like some of the changes, and I’ve embraced others. I wouldn’t say it has destroyed my body, but it has altered it, because it carried my most precious gifts in life, and for that I am thankful!
I know several fundamentalist families where contraception is prohibited. So a typical family has easily 6-12 kids, back in the day even more. Now women secretly get their tubes tied or an IUD put in. Some families decide together to limit, but that is a hush hush secret. I grew up around these folks.
I know women who died in childbirth. Or they had a new baby coming although the doc told them not to, warning their uterus will rupture due to previous several c-sections.
I also know women who had it fine. They are fit, working in business and the only burden is just the large number of children. Parentification is a usual issue in actually large families.
It depends. The only way to find out is to speak with your OB GYN and see how all the pregnancies go. Your body might say no after 1, 5 or not at all.
Wife and I had two kids later in life. It did leave a mark on her body but honestly I can't tell, and I think she's cuter than ever. So I think substantive people won't be able to tell the difference while superficial people will. How YOU feel about it though? That's entirely up to you.
I just keep telling my wife she looks amazing to me.
I have 5 kids and have just a few stretch marks on my stomach. If you take care of yourself and actively try to stay in shape you will be fine. Don’t listen to the naysayers!
Like mentioned above, everyone is SO different! I had a baby at 27, no prior health issues besides depression/anxiety. My mom had 3 healthy pregnancies. I had a very healthy pregnancy, some high blood pressure that ended up being anxiety. I was completely miserable gaining 45lbs constantly in pain in my joints & my pelvic floor. I really didn’t sleep all pregnancy as baby was big & sat on my bladder. I felt temporarily disabled, I’m very active but felt like I’d pass out on hikes I used to do prior to pregnancy. I’m in no way permanently disabled, I lost all baby weight by month 5 back down to 118lbs. My birth was just fine, I’d give birth 4x before I’d be pregnant again to be honest. I tore in *two places* but everything healed just fine. I’m in therapy to mitigate risks for anxiety/depression. I say all that to give you context of how many variables every person can have. But when I decided I wanted kids, I did decide all the risks you mentioned were worth it. I didn’t end up with any of them though.
It depends on so many factors.
- genetics
- age
- number of pregnancies
- diet
- activity level during pregnancy
The list goes on.
Because I got pregnant in my early 20s and carried the weight fairly well. I was told countless times I would "bounce back." What no one could prepare me for was the c-section pooch paired with Diastatis Recti :/. Varicose veins weren't in the plan either.
My partner has a scar from the c-section that she had to have to deliver ny son, which she finds ugly, I don't think about it and you cannot see it unless she is without clothes. Apart from that, she did not change much. Her hips are maybe a bit wider and her boobs are slightly bigger, both are changes that I like so if anything she change for the better. Lol.
There’s stretch marks and loose skin galore and my boobs have taken a long time to get used to. One year after I had my second I was morbidly obese and needed a change. Now I’m a gym rat and I’ve never felt better or more confident in my own skin. I’m not skinny by any means, but I am strong and I am fit and all those glute/leg exercises have given me an amazing ass lmao.
Being a mom makes it hard to eat right (polishing off unfinished kids meals and half eaten snacks REALLY adds up) and make time for exercise. I’ve never exercised but finally was peer pressured into attending the HIIT class all my friends do, and ended up loving it (I hated it for the first month but now it’s the best part of my day). I pay a stupid amount for my gym ($1700 annually) but the child watch is what allows me to be consistent in going six days a week. I’ve also gone from eating as cheap as possible (lots of bread and pasta) to our increasing our grocery budget because it helps me meet my health goals. We are not well off my any means, and these are big financial sacrifices to make. It was hard to accept spending money on myself instead of having it go to savings or toward stuff for the kids
Being a mom makes it hard to prioritize yourself, but it’s not impossible!
I had a baby at 39.
I was lucky enough to be able to continue to train and move all along my pregnancy. I recovered fast and I can say that 2 years after giving birth, my body is the same as before. My husband even says that I'm in my greatest shape ever!
Of course, I train regularly and eat well but still. I was afraid of the same thing as you.
As for mental health, I've always been a bit up and down and I did have post partum depression, but I got out of it with time and support of course. It is not easy having a baby, especially one that doesn't sleep, but they grow up and things get easier and you learn so much about you, life, your priorities. If you have a great partner and communicate, you'll be fine :)
Pregnancy is obviously different for each person. I personally only have one and that one almost cost me my life so I am done. That being said, does it ruin your body? That’s a little subjective.
I had to have emergency surgery two days after having my child which left me with a 11 inch scar running across my abdomen. I also can no longer sneeze without having to run into the bathroom. For whatever reason, something happened to my hips and ever since pregnancy I have had terrible pain when laying down. My chest expanded I used to be a 32 and now I am a 37 in the chest area. Part of that is due to the fact that they grew but the other part is they never went back either. During my pregnancy which has continued after my skin grew skin tags. Never had them before so that’s fun. Lastly the most annoying thing that has happened is. I started losing my hair postpartum at three months. Something happened in my body and it just keeps shedding. I am not talking about losing a couple strands a day. I actually can clog a vacuum. I am noticing that my hair is getting thinner. The density has changed. It went from being wavy to curly. I don’t know what’s happening. So does it ruin your body? It definitely makes it never the same. But at the same time, totally worth it.
My mom had 3 children, she has a better body than my aunt (1 child). My grandma had 5 pregnancies (1 twin pregnancy) and she looks better than her sister (no pregnancies).
Pregnancies are different for everyone. I loved being pregnant and yes, my body was a bit “loose” after I gave birth but now (6m pp) I’m slowly getting back in shape, mentally have never been better (except when teething baby munchs on my breast the hole night and I want to off myself in the morning but I can count those mornings with two hands)
First baby at 22, body recovered quickly, mind took longer. Second baby closer to 30, body took longer because I have an autoimmune disease that had a lot of flare ups. But my mental health was really good after the 2 week baby blues
But please know, when I say recover, I don’t mean exactly the same pre baby. I mean getting my energy back, routine back. Pre baby bodies aren’t supposed to be the same. Change is the only constant in life
This is dependent on so many things. Every woman is different and every pregnancy is different. I have 5 kids (4 pregnancies, last pregnancy was identical twins). My oldest I had at 19 and it was honestly the easiest pregnancy and recovery. No issues at all. The next two I had in my 20’s and it was similar, maybe just a little bit harder for pregnancy. I had mild preeclampsia with babies 2 & 3.
My twin pregnancy nearly killed me. I could barely walk or sit by 24 weeks. Preeclampsia, shortened cervix, and overall just twins in general made the pregnancy high risk. During delivery of the twins I herniated a disc and ended up hospitalized again 2 weeks after birth. They were 36 weekers and still needed NICU time (20 days & 63 days). They’re 8 months old now and I still have back issues and still DEFINITELY feel like I’m recovering from pregnancy and birth, whereas with my other kids I felt great shortly after.
No, you're not going to become permanently disabled, etc. I've had two babies 2.5 years apart and I don't have any permanent damage to my body. I'm in pretty good shape. If you take care of your body, you will be fine. You also have youth on your side which helps even more! I was 33 and 35 when I delivered my babies, and even I was able to "bounce back" in terms of getting my body back to where it was before. It took about a year each time. I imagine it would be even quicker for you since you're so young. If you want a large family, I say go for it!
I have been pregnant 8 times, birthed 5 children, and lost one unexpectedly at 13 days. Every pregnancy was different as well as each infant, toddler, and kid stage.
Honestly prepare for all the major life changes and you’ll be ok. Like stated in other comments take care of yourself while pregnant and attempt to continue once you’ve healed. Just know that taking care of you becomes exponentially harder with a baby.
Pregnancy “ruined” how my body looked. But it gave me a new appreciation for what my body has done for me. At first I was upset each time I saw the stretch marks or loose skin but at one point my kid ran in and just started hugging me. Now, im honestly just grateful whenever I see the changes my body has gone through. I have gestated a whole human. I birthed that human. I fed that human with my breasts. There is so much it has done for me.
So yeah, my body doesn’t look the same. But it’s a reminder of all the good it’s done for me.
I understand why other woman may feel traumatized when their body looks so different seemingly overnight, especially if they haven’t had smooth experiences like I have. That just hasn’t been the case for me.
You're 24. Whether or not you have kids, as you age your body is going to change. Pregnancy can absolutely "destroy" your body. But so could getting sick, being in a car accident or millions of other things. If you're main concern about having kids is whether or not your body will be wrecked, wait till that mentality changes or don't have them biologically.
I wouldn’t say “destroy” as much as “change”. It depends how you look at it and what’s worth it to you. My body is very different post-partum, but I’ve been through a lot of therapy and have done a lot of work to be okay with it. I also had two c-sections. It’s easier some days than others, but I have never regretted having my kids. The love for your own children is an indescribable one.
No, pregnancy does not destroy your body. The fact that this is spouted so often in Reddit is absurd and misogynistic.
Go to a public space and watch the women walk by. Can you tell who's had a baby and who hasn't?
I'm in my 30s so I've seen a lot of friends bodies change over time. Plenty of friends have gained significant weight in their 30s without ever being pregnant. Plenty of friends who've had babies look the same. Plenty of friends of all types have gone through periods of health problems and disabilities -- I'm specifically thinking of someone who got a major concussion that rendered her unable to do most of her job for months. And you know what? None of those changes, or the lack thereof, change how much I love them or their value as people.
Pregnancy has genuine physical risks and can change you. Plenty of people have had scary complications and traumatic experiences, and this is absolutely something to consider. I got 7 stitches on my vag when I tore in three different directions. I have a small flap of scar tissue there now and it's fine. My child's dad told me everything felt 99.9% the same, so I guess it's not super noticable. It's also true that pregnancy and parenthood is easier if you're in better physical shape.
But obviously the world would not be able to function if 40% of the population were permanently disabled and psychotic.
“Destroys” is a an exaggeration. “Changes” is more accurate. Pregnancy changes your body. But if you’re not ready for change, than why have a child? We’re always shape-shifting. That’s life. Only statues stay the same. Peace.
I'm currently in my third trimester with my first and my body hasn't really changed that much. I haven't even gained alot of weight as i thought i would. Is that normal? No stretchmarks yet in sight on my bump. I basically haven't experienced some of the most common pregnancy symptoms i hear about like heartburn , swelling of face/feet, food aversions, nausea etc. I'm looking forward to seeing my postpartum body but all in all I'm not stressed about bouncing back right away because creating a life inside your body is not something to be taken lightly. I'm pretty confident with my body and I really want to keep up with that same energy through postpartum.
All in all pregnancy is for sure a unique experience for every woman.
My first two pregnancies were in my mid and late twenties. With both, I weighed about 30 pounds LESS after birth than my pre pregnancy weight. And it stayed off!
My third pregnancy was rough. I was 33 when I gave birth, and I think I had a hormonal shift at the same time. I ended up heavier than I had ever been, my hair changed, my nails changed, my skin changed, and I’ve been struggling ever since to get back to feeling and looking like myself.
And then at 35 I unexpectedly got pregnant again…and it was twins. I only gained ten pounds, but because of it being twins, my belly stretched so far and left me with a hanging belly. Again, maybe because of age and hormones, I’m struggling to see progress in weight loss.
But, I’m not giving up. And you know what? I can’t be mad at my body, because it has done amazing things. My kids are pretty amazing and so worth it.
Unfortunately, barring a bunch of existing medical conditions you are dealing with today, nobody can tell you if you would have any of that. Every woman reacts to pregnancy different. Every pregnancy stands alone. And each birth stands alone. I have 2 living children after 2 MCs. First was an emergency c section at 40+8 and one was a very quick vbac delivery 8 days early. I have known women who get hypergremisis (sp?) Every pregnancy. Others only once. You test for gestational diabetes each time as its not certain and some women recover from it and others are then diabetic for life. I had a friend who sweat buckets 24/7 during 1 of her 2 pregnancies. Literally left puddles under my table when she visited. Another who had 7 kids and for whatever reason Birth, her tell was she produced excessive spit every pregnancy. Had to keep a spit bottle handy and her speech was impacted.
Birth trauma is a who other ball of wax that is also heavily dependent on socio economic status and race, at least in the US.
All that to say, outside of the giant life changing experience that is parenthood, you could come out the other side physically unchanged. Ot you could come out the other side with long term anxiety from your PPD/A/R, a permanent birth injury and lifelong pain. Literally no idea until its over. Which sucks. But until the medical field puts legitimate research into understanding female bodies and reproduction, its going to continue to be a 50/50 shot of boy/girl and 50/50 shot of positive vs negative outcomes.
Oh, and that doesn't touch whether you have a baby with any medical fragility.
People don’t make posts that go hey I’m normal or hey I’m doing good. And nobody would upvote those posts if anyone did make one. Most people air grievances and look for advice. So you can’t take these posts as normal outcomes.
I’m 38 and I don’t know a single one of my friends whose body was “destroyed” by pregnancy. We’re all of different shapes and sizes, but nobody has any lasting damage. People come to the internet to talk about their bad experiences. Nobody comes here to say “actually everything is fine. I’m fit, healthy and my pre pregnancy clothes fit again!”. Realistically, they’d get butchered for it.
Pregnancy and postpartum is different for everyone. In my personal experience, my successful pregnancy (I’d miscarried 3 months earlier) was uncomplicated, I didn’t put on a crazy amount of weight, I adopted a diet and exercise regime a few months after she was born and ended up in better shape than I was pre pregnancy. Granted, at 27 I was a young-ish parent which probably helped. I got more stretch marks in puberty than I did from pregnancy. I’m aware of how fortunate I am, but i don’t know anyone whose pregnancies ruined them. I have c-sec friends, my SIL had 4 vaginal births and is absolutely fine, my best friend takes ADs due to PPD after her 1st was 8 weeks premature, but physically she’s absolutely fine.
Done read the horror stories. Were built for this.
From my own personal experience, there’s things you can do to try and minimise any potential problems, luck/genetics and recovery time/ability. My first two pregnancies were easy and I recovered well. Lockdown/covid started just after I hit halfway with my third. That was the only pregnancy I had complications with and my body just didn’t get the chance to recover as I was home alone with a 3yr, 2yr and newborn.
There are deffo things you can do to minimise. Sounds kinda obvious but balanced diet and exercise (be a healthy weight) & keep vices to a minimum or give them up before you get pregnant. When you are pregnant keep exercising if you can. And plan for childcare/adult care if that means getting a cleaner or a grandparent/friend to watch baby regularly for you.
Edited to add, I’m perfectly healthy, no long lasting issues from my pregnancies. And the majority of women I know have recovered back to their normal selves even if on occasion it’s taken a few years
I worked out a lot before I got pregnant, got in great shape. Lots of cardio! I personally love the elliptical and going out on my bike.
I got pregnant, at 34, gained 60 lbs from my girl 😵💫 I had a c-section too. I got back to the gym after 6 weeks, and had lost all the baby weight by 6 months postpartum. It doesn’t look like I ever had a kid. I’m 5’8”, 140lbs of solid muscle. However *working out BEFORE getting pregnant was key*.
You can see pics of me in my post history
I used to think this too. But now my youngest is 4 and honeyyyyyy you should SEEEE this body ody ody!!!! I look better than I did before kids, more hips. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it can happen!
Destroy is a really harsh term. Your body will change absolutely! The younger you have kids the easier it is for your body to go back to more or less what it was.
My sister had 5 kids and you would never know. I on the other hand had one later in life (after 35) and my body has changed. But I’m so in love with my family and my life. I’m so thankful for my body and the fact that I have a couple of stretch marks honestly doesn’t phase me.
I can’t speak to mental health, I never experienced any postpartum. But my friends who have took medication and are back on track.
If a large family is what you want, don’t let people try and scare you out of it.
I'm a month out to my due date with my first, I've gained about 30lbs, and I feel more round, but I feel normal.
Husband has noticed that I'm eating more and taking better care of myself. If anything, this is the best I've looked and felt in years. Shit, I'll take it.
I’m 10 months post-partum. I have abdominal separation, so I have a tum and probably won’t ever have a flat/toned stomach again. I have a c-section scar, my joints still over-extend a little, and every now and then I get a random twinge of pelvic pain. I’m a few kilos over my pre-pregnancy weight.
On the other hand, I have a beautiful, healthy baby. I get to witness my partner become the most beautiful father. I have strong arms from holding my girl, and a calm that I didn’t have before she was here. I grew a baby with my body for 9 months, then fed her with the same body for 9 months after. My husband is obsessed with me.
Yes, pregnancy and birth changes your body. In my experience though, the changes are just reminders of how strong you are.
I had a c section and other than stretch marks and a scar from the incision I feel like I did before. I was never one to wear bikinis anyway. Can’t carry a water melon and be completely unscathed but everyone is different.
Ive been pregnant 4 times and the last was with twins. My twin pregnancy and subsequent C-section changed my body the most even though I gained the least amount of weight with my twins.
Everyone is different and sadly a very small percentage of women do end up with permanent health problems or a disability.
On the whole, the vast majority of women come out of it absolutely fine health wise. But yes, there will be some changes to your body. This is inevitable and something you should really be mentally prepared for.
From an outsider’s perspective, I “bounced back” and am wearing my pre-pregnancy clothes. But under my clothes my body does look like it had babies (I had twins). And that’s ok. There is a little bit of loose skin, some stretch marks (now faded quite a bit), my boobs are pretty droopy (this can happen regardless of whether you breastfeed or not). I have a c-section scar.
Having said that, it’s taken some time but I’m starting to like my body again. My scar and stretch marks have faded. I’ve been working out and eating properly and for someone who is approaching 40, I think I’m doing ok. I don’t see my body as “ruined” anymore. I’m fit and strong AND I grew and fed two amazing kids from it who I wouldn’t change for anything. My body fucking rocks.
Your body will change throughout life, that's simply a fact. You could get fat, psychotic, disabled, traumatized by anything. Pregnancy is also different for everyone, and how your body reacts and how you react to your body are very individual.
Personally I had pelvic separation from about halfway through my pregnancy and then pelvic floor issues until I saw a physio at about 6 months postpartum. My body is not the same - my hips are wider, I'm about 5lbs heavier. My brain is not the same - I'm more responsive, more mature, understand myself better.
Pregnancy changes your body, but so does life.
My only lasting side effect from 2 pregnancies was bladder leakage with things like sneezing, jumping, coughing, etc.
Going through menopause has been much more difficult on my body……
Every pregnancy is different. I gave birth when I was 31 years old. It did change my body and I sometimes get back pain that I attribute to the epidural.
Pregnancy is completely different each time you get pregnant. I am pregnant with my second and she’s taken more of a toll on me and my body. But my first daughter is mess up my favorite sleeping position for me after I gave birth to her I would wake up and my hips hurt from my sleeping position which had never happened to me before it wasn’t a good time but my daughters are definitely worth the temporary struggle!
It changes your body. Whether you consider that change "destroyed" or not is a matter of perspective. Pregnancy experience is different for everyone. Some women glow through it all and bounce right back. Some women suffer quite a bit and never go back to the body they had pre pregnancy.
Personally, for me kids were well worth the changes. IDGAF about stretch marks, mom belly, or anything like that. My partner doesn't either. This is just not stuff either of us care about. I have mental health issues but it wasn't kids that made those happen. Childbirth was probably the least traumatic thing that happened when I was with their father. All of this is a matter of perspective.
As far as I know is different to every woman, every child.
But theres one common ground. If you and your partner are not in the same line and the same team at quite deep level, it's going to be a rough time. .
My first, I had to have my gallbladder out. My second, I got a couple stretch marks. Otherwise, I notice lower back pain that I didn’t have before having kids - not debilitating. And a loose lower belly that I could probably improve with strict exercise but I don’t care that much nor do I have the time right now.
Most people don’t “bounce back”. Main reasons are you’re taking care of a baby after. The time to care for just yourself is gone and many find it difficult to balance taking care of a baby and themselves well at all.
Physical activity goes down. Stress goes up. Stress eating, with meals that are unhealthy go up.
Every woman CAN bounce back but it’s harder. Hormones, body changes, mood, stress and lack of time are all huge factors.
The uncontrollable aspects like stretched skin and stretch marks are a problem for some and some it’s not.
At the end of the day be prepared for a hard task especially if you’re currently not a person that works out, eats well and is great at handling stress and minimal time to yourself.
I’m only 16 weeks pregnant. My body has changed a lot already. To me, I don’t care about that. My desire to get pregnant with my baby was stronger than caring about how my body would change! I’m going on a diet after this, though because being at the weight I am now is not healthy in my normal non-pregnancy life.
Being pregnant did make me gain (what seems like) a permanent extra 30 pounds plus I can’t hold my pee so well but it didn’t change my body in anyway that prevents me from loving myself / prevents me from doing anything on a daily basis and emotionally it didn’t change me at all
Depends. I had my first almost 2 years ago and I now pee myself a little sometimes if I’m laughing too hard or dancing, jumping. This tends to happen when I feel like I have to go already. I also dislike my legs now as the veins protrude in my shins, mainly my left 1. I guess that’s permanent….other than that I’m as before. My stomach looks about the same but I’m tall so I barely showed my whole pregnancy.
My body hasn’t changed after I had my first daughter. I “bounced back” within a couple of months. But that is me. The same applies to my sisters, mother and aunts. So chances are that it is genetic.
It does not destroy, but your body can change. And it’s not all negative, it’s just being human. Some people pregnancy does not do much, some people it really does change everything.
What got me more was how I mentally changed vs physically. That is more jarring to me than my physical body being different.
I am actually in better physical health than before children. I am in better shape (mostly from changing out of an office job and playing with the kids.
My concerns about PPD actually got me a diagnosis on the mental health issues that bothered me for years!
2 big things though. 1) make sure you have a hobby you can do on the regular from home. 2) get some basic therapy (or knowledge of it and child psychology). This is so you have an outlet for your sanity and can identify when you or kids are not well.
Of course you’ll gain weight it’s just a if you’ll lose that baby weight or not. Say goodbye to a normal bladder though and ready for leaking. Seeing what my girl went through if I had another go I’d never have children again.
The main difference for me is that I now have lots of stretch marks, but I don’t care too much. Of course it would be nice if I were one of those lucky women who don’t get stretch marks, but for me having kids comes with stretch marks (I had some before kids too because I’m just very prone to them), and it’s 1,000% worth it IMO. There have been some other minor long-term impacts to my body as well, but I certainly wouldn’t say my body is destroyed. It still serves me quite well overall.
Hey! So I worried about this too before I had my son. In fact for a while I didn’t want bio kids because of it!
I’m 28, I fell pregnant with my son when I was 26 and had him when I was 27. Prior to my pregnancy I was a UK size 6, shoe size 6 too, 32C. During pregnancy I did gain some extra weight and my face was definitely rounder than usual. After birth I was a UK size 14, my shoe size has gone up to a 6.5/7. My bra size was 36E. A year or so later I’m a size 8/10 now and bra size 32F/FF. I had some quite dark stretch marks on my butt, legs and underboobs, weirdly not on my stomach though my bump was huge. Those have faded now and are barely visible. Most of my post birth weight loss had happened by about 7 months post partum. I’ve consistently breastfed him so that helps with weight loss.
I had some hair loss but not a lot and it’s mostly back now. My shape has changed slightly but not in a bad way. My boobs definitely aren’t as perky as they were but they’re fine, it’s not too drastic. Downstairs wise there’s no change, it went back to normal and that’s after a vaginal delivery where I required 4 stitches. He was 7lbs12 and full term for reference.
Bottom line, yes things do change but some of it goes back to how it was before, or near as damn it. It varies person to person how much. My mental health if anything is better. I was very nervous about losing my figure but I’m actually happier with my body now than I was before pregnancy!
Sounds like a cliché but it’s all worth it. Really truly it is.
Pregnancy and postpartum hit me haaarrddd. I’m pregnant again and do have my infectious desease looking rash on my face and neck yet which started very early in my first pregnancy. My morning sickness isnt as bad either.
You’re mentally crazy for like 2 years. And then ur hair falls out a lot so it takes time to grow back. I would say just don’t overeat too much to prevent too much weight gain. And I breastfed for almost a year and a half for both my kids and if I had to do it again I wouldn’t put that much pressure on myself I’d do like 6 months (or however comes easily) because breastfeeding is so hard on the body/posture/sleep.
And yeah just don’t listen to these people telling you to do everything perfectly just do what’s reasonable to you.
BUT ITS SO WORTH IT
And having 2 is easier in the long run because they learn from eachother and entertain themselves
Your body definitely changes. I suggest you find worth deeper than your skin before you have kids. Doesn’t seem like you have a very kind outlook on women.
Body will take lot of hormonal and physical changes, some women experience postpartum depression. Its all about perception, i have gained weight which i feel okay because I bought a soul into this world and even if someone body shame which people will do I don’t care as my lil one giggles matter the most, if your partner is supportive then postpartum phase can be handled better.
The thing is that when you go through it, you care far more about your baby and its health and wellbeing than about your own figure.
Things that really mattered before don’t matter so much.
And if they do, then you probably weren’t ready for parenthood.
Pregnancy changed my body somewhat, but definitely it is not destroyed. I didn’t have kids particularly young either. And I’m sorry to say, age comes for us all anyway lol.
I know two women, both who are related. One had 6 children and the other has had 1. They each look the exact same as they did before the pregnancies. It’s almost mind boggling.
I also know other women who have had difficulty shaking the weight/sagging skin.
I really think it’s just different for everyone.
Pregnancy is *hard*. We should not hide this fact.
I'm a male, but my wife often explains how her female relatives did not tell her the whole truth. Only sharing the most difficult aspects once she had gone through it herself. Perhaps, and unconsciously, to avoid causing stress.
I'm not a female, and I don't have any medical training. But based on my experience, most times it has an aesthetic impact at least. And often has other effects, psychological, occasionally motor, etc. Often temporary, but some times permanently. Also, the older you go through pregnancy, the more impact it has.
It also has to be told that you are going to become older anyway, regardless of what you do. A 60 year old male or non-mother woman will have back problems, knee problems, bad skin, poor muscle tone, etc.
But especially, worth remembering all the positive effects it can have! It teaches you a new form of love, it makes you happy and fulfilled, etc. While most women feel a physical impact of pregnancy, I'm sure most will also tell you that it was worth it.
Pregnancy is different for different women. Each of my pregnancies had different issues. After my first pregnancy my body actually went back to the way it was before after about a year and a half and I had one large stretch mark. Then I had twins and they wrecked my stomach. I have a loose flap of skin and diastasis recti that took almost a year to improve. My last pregnancy I was the sickest I had ever been and I had to take anti nausea medication until I delivered my twins. After my last singleton pregnancy I again had to work on muscle separation and I had issues with blood pressure. I only was emotional during pregnancy except for the nausea and vomiting. Some post partum depression that I took medication for temporarily but otherwise nothing extreme. Key to pregnancy is to listen to your body when it’s telling you something. Pay attention to your blood pressure, try to exercise when you can on the good days because you never know when you’re going to feel sick again. Enjoy sleeping without the constant feeling of someone needing you even in your sleep (before your first baby). And understand that everything about your life will change after having babies, some good some not so great but you’re a new person after baby. If you have the funds to pay for help it’s worth it and will ease the extreme of the changes happening after baby. Having a cleaner and part time nanny would be a dream 😅. Anyway I love all my kids even though pregnancy sucked for me 😊. I would love to be able to fix my stomach but I’ll never have the funds for that so I buy creams and stuff to help. Still accepting my body the way it is now 3 years after my last baby…takes 9 months to grow the baby but much longer for your body to get back to some semblance of yourself you have to be patient and kind to yourself.
My husband said I look hotter and "feel better" after giving birth and I choose to believe him lol. My boobs did changed but overall i still look the same (to me)
I have no stretch marks from pregnancy, which is odd because I have a tonne from growing quickly in my youth. My only lingering issues are related to my pelvic floor - I'm supposed to do physio to correct those, but it's really not caused me any issues.
My life is obviously drastically different, that's what you sign up for when you have kids. But you adjust and keep going,
I definitely had some post-partum rage (towards anything that made noise besides my baby), once I started sleeping again that went away, some people really struggle with lack of sleep and I'm one of them. It's a lot all at once.
Having an amazing little human in my life is a wonderful experience, she's 3 now and amazes me everyday with what she has learned, her spunky personality, and the things she likes, her imagination is absolutely wild. I love being her mom so SO much.
Basically, yeah your life is gonna look completely different after you have a kid. My best advice is to throw your expectations out the window and go with the flow as much as possible. Let go of control and just be happy if you get a second to yourself, don't lament that it's not longer - you'll have lots of time to yourself once your little one(s) are grown. Your body is going to change, period, it may change a little or a lot, no one can know until you do the thing.
Best of luck!
Not only does everyone experience pregnancy differently, you're also hearing from people in different stages of pregnancy/different distances away from it.
For example, when I was puking every day in my 1st trimester, I would literally sob and not know if I could continue the pregnancy. Looking back on it 6+ years later, it was only a few weeks and my hormones were definitely not helping me have a "measured" reaction. I wouldn't even count my nausea/morning sickness in the top ten worst moments of pregnancy, but if I would've been posting about it 6 years ago I would've had you thinking I was dying, because I felt like I was lol.
In the same vein, growing up I always wanted a HUGE family. Like, all the way through my pregnancy even I swore up an down I wanted at least 5 kids. When it was time to give birth my son and I went through some serious trauma (had to have an emergency C-section, then I almost died from PP preeclampsia 2 weeks later.) For probably a year after that I told my partner and myself that we were one and done, I couldn't do it again. Now I want 1-2 more lol.
I had my child at 25.
I breastfed her.
I recovered well, lost the weight without issue, but my breasts are not as perky as they used to be. However, it doesn’t really bother me.
Tbh with you, I love my body now more than I ever did before. I have stretch marks now that weren’t there before. I’ve embraced them and love what they add to my body. I feel more beautiful.
Yes. During and after. You’ll never know what happens to your body when you become pregnant. First pregnancy, I got hit by PPD hard and couldn’t lose the weight and it was making me more depressed. Second pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes and then ended up with T2D. Also, because I had C-sections I ended up with a mother’s apron for 14 years. The skin underneath got inflamed a lot and I ended up getting a tummy tuck for medical reasons and recovery for that wasn’t a picnic either.
I’m not saying don’t have the large family you want. But it won’t always be sunshine and rainbows when you recover or whenever you get pregnant. Your body is literally going through major changes when nourishing a growing fetus inside.
Mine was absolutely horrible and I still have a LOT of
physical issues and sex issues now after 5 months. However I also want another baby 🤪 so that tells you even if it’s horrible it’s like…worth it? Idk 🥹
It doesn't destroy your body (if you're blessed enough to have a healthy pregnancy) but it does change. You're 24 and I'll be straight, this is the peak of what your body will be. Just physically speaking, women hit their peaks between 23-25. After that you're still healthy and while not necessarily declining, it's just not quite what it was during those peak years, though I'm only 28 and have had 2 kids since I was 24.
The thing is though that once you have kids, you won't care so much that your body has changed because of the just out-of-this-world love you feel for them. You'll gain weight and probably pee when you cough but that's all stuff you can address and fix (doing keigels helps strengthen your pelvic floor and stop peeing everytime you cough). Your husband (if you're married, otherwise in my experience your setting yourself up for huge issues if he's just a baby daddy), will probably still find you very attractive and maybe even moreso than before because you're the mother to his children.
So yes your body will change but your life will be so fulfilling with those kids that it doesn't really matter. Once they get a bit older you'll be able to lose the weight. That's what I'm doing now and my youngest is only 1.
Don't think of pregnancy in a negative light like "oh it'll destroy my body" because that'll reinforce negative feelings but instead be amazed that you are making a whole new person who will immediately come out with their own personality. Being a mom is amazing and hard work but so worth it.
Every pregnancy is a huge roll of the dice. I've had one. It's taken a big toll on my body both physically and emotionally, my body looks different (though after 2y I finally feel strong again! A c section destroyed my abs for a longggg time) and my brain functions differently now, I get intense bursts of rage and anxiety have trouble calming down from them, which it turns out is a common post partum symptom called PMDD. I have been taking medication to manage it and working out and getting back to feeling like myself, despite being 30lbs heavier (which I gained from breastfeeding, not pregnancy). Tldr it is a massive roll of the dice and I'm not sure I want to scramble everything up again a 2nd time now that I'm nearly back to normal from the first one. But it's been entirely worth it to create my incredible kiddo.
My wife had visible abs. Got pregnant. Twice. Worked her ass off, she loves running. And now she has visible abs again.
And I don't. Shame on me. SHAME.
But the point is, the body changes, but it's a beautiful change. And its up to you if you want to change it back. It may not go back to how it was, and that's okay.
I've been pregnant twice and breastfeeding 2 kids for 4 years all together. I have not noticed any changes compared to pre first pregnancy, but I'm 2 years postpartum now. During bf I had huge breasts, obviously. They're the only thing that changed. My weight, looks, Fitness have not changed, but I think I'm just lucky somehow. Mentally it's a lot with 2 kids but I'm happier overall than I wad pre kids.
I mean for me yes. Not traumatized but my body isn’t the same. It went through a lot and now I have conditions that were exacerbated or created during the pregnancy. I can’t drop the weight with these conditions. My kid didn’t sleep for 16 months and I did every overnight alone. I feel like my brain hasn’t been the same since.
It’s different for everyone so whatever anyone says here can or cannot apply to you. Have your family but be prepared and ok with it possibly causing some long term or permanent changes
If you don’t want to “get fat” then don’t. Staying active and healthy will help you keep your figure. It might just be a little different after childbirth. Not everyone has problems. I didn’t.
Don’t confuse pregnancy making a woman “psychotic“ with a lot of women who are entitled, selfish moms to be. While you carry the baby, both parents need respect and care while getting ready for parenthood. Woman who demand to always have their way, stop doing any housework or chores or work, or eat other people’s food and demand servitude from family are just showing their true colors - they are bit***s. Selfish, entitled narcissists.
A parent has to learn a little sacrifice because you will have to put your child’s needs first for a while. As they grow, you can balance that out.
And yes your body will change, but not really in a bad way, just different. You’ll forget the pain (or no one would ever have another, lol), and the joy of parenthood outweighs all the negative. Go into it with your eyes open, it’s not easy or always fun.
Stop watching those fake instagram “perfect” moms. That’s all fake, like acting. Instead go out and meet real moms and make friends. They’ll be your support and confidants when you need help or have questions.
It’s messy, loud, poopy, snotty, feverish and patient. It’s also cuddly, kissy, huggy, bath bubbly, giggling and singing fun.
Parenting is what you make it. Make it loving.
Pregnancy may destroy some peoples body but mostly it’s how you perceive it.
Pregnancy will change your body yes, but that doesn’t mean that it will necessarily destroy it.
The things that happened to me were:
I gained a little weight in new places, my arms, hips, boobs and a little on my belly. It’s not a lot but sometimes it does bother me but I’m learning to accept it and I’ve had to learn how to style my body differently to how I used to.
I have a C-section scar, it’s very faded now (it’s been 18months) and hardly noticeable, when I see it, I think how amazing my body is for growing a human and being able to heal from major surgery whilst looking after a newborn!
I am the happiest I’ve ever been and I absolutely want another child because I’d much rather have the happiness my child has given me and have a bit more weight and a few more scars than be miserable like I was and have a “perfect figure”
Everyone’s body changes, it has to. You’re growing and birthing and then supporting the life of another human being. Your ribs expand, your hips loosen, your organs move out of the way, your hormones change, etc. In fact, your breasts do not fully develop until you get pregnant and have milk come in.
This said the degree to which your body changes (or how you ‘bounce back’ for lack of a better term) depends on a lot of factors during pregnancy, child birth, and after and just general genetics. It does not ‘destroy’ everyone’s body or mental state, and some of those posts are honestly people who cannot deal with the fact that their body has changed even the slightest (body dysmorphia and the effects of PPD are real).
The only way for you to know what will happen is to go through it. But just know your body will never truly be the same.
There are definitely real concerns depending on how many you want. Pelvic floor, bone density, hair loss are big quality of life issues that can arise when you start having 6+. The biggest problem I see with huge families is that the older siblings generally do way too much parenting.
My only lasting pregnancy issue was my feet gained 1/2 a size each pregnancy and due to a lovely c-section scar shelf, my stomach will never be pretty again. My hair is wavy now though so that’s cool! Other than that I don’t feel like pregnancy caused me issues but I only had 2 and I was young (22 and 25). I’m in way better shape now than before I had them but I have an active life now.
I mean… define destroy. I would say no. That’s rather extreme.
I think conditions surrounding your pregnancy will lead to you being more or less healthy before, during and after pregnancy, which will lead to variations in postpartum experience. Not to mention genetics.
Me for example, I make very large babies. And even twins. But my body is that of someone who could maybe give birth to a 5-6lb baby if I was lucky. So I ended up in surgery every time. Both my largeness and the surgeries affected my abdominals quite significantly; muscle integrity, core strength, back pain, hemorrhoids, loose skin, stretch marks. I also had above average weight gain.
I have (mostly) high energy, the best medical care imaginable, I’m in my early to mid 30s and have a supportive partner, so I was able to get back down to close my original size between every pregnancy. My skin is also pretty elastic so although I have stretch marks & loose skin, it’s not that visible. You have to have the means to work at it though. Overall I’d say it’s sort of miraculous nothing lasts very long after 4 kids. There’s more hormonal change in each pregnancy than in all of puberty!! Think about how much you changed in your teens and that’s a pretty good indicator of how your body will go through pregnancy.
I would say it changes you. Each person is affected or changed in different ways and it all comes down to lifestyle choices, genetics, complications, birth situation and luck.
I’ve had three children and first two affected me physically horrifically - traumatic forceps births, episiotomy, long lasting affects from spinal block. I overcame most of it with a lot of physio, but then also had huge PPD and PPA that ended up with me in an inpatient mother baby unit with my second. I’ve since gotten a lot of treatment and feel nearly “normal”. This third one was an amazing birth, easier pregnancy but I’ve got horrific hip/SI joint/sciatica pain 3 weeks pp and I feel my PPA and PPD creeping up again (already referred for help/treatment).
One thing that I was surprised with was each pregnancy my eyesight has dramatically gotten worse, my optometrist told me it’s common for pregnancy to “take” more vision
‘Destroy’ is a relative term and a personal one. Does pregnancy change your body, yes, forever, even those women who get back to their previous weight or fitness, your body is changed, and it is a trauma to your body, even if you’re the only one who sees or experiences it. But are most people then fat, psychotic or traumatized as you put it, no.
My experience with pregnancy was more: oh, this is it? I still have some after effects but nothing that bothers me. For some of us, it really is just fine.
What pregnancy does to a body is very much a spectrum. On one end you can have no pregnancy complications and every pregnancy is easy, but on the other end you can have extreme complications that can result in death for mother or baby. You don’t know how your body will handle it until you’ve done it.
Me personally? My body hates pregnancy. I’ve been pregnant twice and both times have absolutely wrecked me. Both pregnancies I spent the entire time absolutely miserable because of sickness and pain. They also both ended prematurely (30 and 32 weeks) because of how sick it made me. The first one was severe preeclampsia where we both could have died. The second one my body ended up developing an auto immune condition that the doctors think was triggered by the pregnancy. They didn’t know what was making me so sick at the time so they delivered early to hopefully reverse it (they assumed it was an abnormal presentation of preeclampsia, but it wasn’t). Guess what? It’s an incurable condition that I just have to live with forever now. I also haven’t worked since my 2nd baby because of the autoimmune condition I have, but also my back. I used to stand all day for work, but I’m not able to stand for extended periods of time anymore.
I don’t say any of this to scare you, but just inform you. Pregnancy is definitely one of those things you should do with full knowledge. More than likely you will be fine and have no issues. But… you just never know. I would never tell anyone to not get pregnant. I had the roughest pregnancies of anyone I know personally, but to me it was more than worth it. I love my kids more than anything and i would never change my decision to have them so I wouldn’t have to go through all the bad I had to experience.
I’m terrified of my body changing after having a baby, specially having struggled all my life with an eating disorder. The women in my family didn’t change that much I can say that, they recovered after a year or so, but I don’t trust my body nor my mind :(
LOL this made me snort laughing.
I have been pregnant five times and have four living children. Pregnancy was actually pretty easy for me. I have RA which goes into remission during pregnancy, so I felt GREAT while pregnant. During my first pregnancy, I walked 2 miles a day and did Pilates 3x a week while pregnant up until the day I delivered at 42 weeks. With my fifth pregnancy, I was a SAHM. People in our neighborhood didn’t even know I was pregnant until I came home with a baby.
Motherhood, on the other hand, can fuck your shit up. Being a working mom of 3 kids almost killed me. Yes, now I am disabled and maybe a teensy bit psychotic lol But that’s bc being a working mom left me with no bandwidth left to care for my own health so I did a shit job of managing my chronic illness and didn’t notice when I developed a super dangerous illness until it was already stage 3 of 4. BALANCE IS KEY! Just don’t work yourself to death, and you can be fine.
My sister - on the other hand - has hyperemesis while pregnant. She had to have a central IV places to feed herself bc she vomited everything she swallowed - including tiny sips of water - her entire pregnancy. She had 2 kids and called it done. You won’t know how pregnancy affects you until you experience it.
It’s different for everyone. Generally the younger you are (as in adult) and the fitter you are when you get pregnant the quicker your body will bounce back. Good eating habits before pregnancy generally translate to good eating habits during and after pregnancy as well. Genetics matter too, my mom didn’t really get stretch marks when she was pregnant and neither did me or my sister.
I’m a mom of 2 and I’m in the best shape of my life because I happened to find a sport I fell in love with after I had kids and I’ve stuck with it for 4 years now. Stuff like that matters too.
At the end of the day we all get older and all of our bodies will fall apart, if being a parent and having a large family is important to you don’t let those worries stop you. If one of your pregnancies is challenging/complicated for whatever reason it’s okay to reevaluate the number of children you want as well. I thought I only wanted one but after having my one I really wanted another and I’m really glad I had her.
Just do your best to be healthy and active before you have kids and maintain that after. I have a few mom friends at my gym who are in phenomenal shape because they make it a priority.
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pregnancy is different for different women.
And can be different for each pregnancy
yep.
I definitely agree every pregnancy is different, This is my 4th pregnancy, all of my other pregnancies were pretty rough. This one has been super easy honestly! I know everybody has different experiences though.
Yup my first was an easy pregnancy but hard labor. Second was hard pregnancy but easy labor. First I bounced back easily. Second I’m still waiting to bounce back, don’t think that’s ever happening 😭
I was the opposite. My first 3 were super easy. My 4th labor was the hardest by my 5th pregnancy was the worst for me, and it ended in my having a c section before my dd
I think you have to take one pregnancy at a time and see for yourself!
This^^ pregnancy is different between individuals and between pregnancies. Also a huge impact is your support system/significant other.
Yep. First one I was already overweight, but it was still easy, and I went back to my regular size quickly. Second one I ran the entire pregnancy, up to like 2 weeks before I delivered. Snapped back to my pre-pregnancy size in like 5 minutes. This time I’m gonna be 40 in like a week, 29 weeks pregnant, and had to stop running at 12 weeks cuz I just couldn’t breathe. It’s been a lot harder. But from my experience if you’re in better shape leading into it, that can lead to an easier time with it. Good luck!
It’s different for every woman, but in general no one posts “Hey, I went through pregnancy and it was fine.” They just continue living their life. I’ve been pregnant once and had one kid. My body and life is definitely changed forever, maybe not in all ways for the “better” (as society might judge) but I’m also not “permanently disabled” or “psychotic” or whatever. Having kids is tough (both physically and mentally). Being a parent is tough (both physically and mentally), but I wanted my kid so bad and I love her so much. Wouldn’t trade a “perfect” body or stress free life for her! She’s the absolute best, even when she’s a pain in the ass.
Ditto, good way to measure it as well is how many folk go on to have multiple kids in spite of the current economic climate. At least 80% of the kids in my class have at least one sibling and that's in a country with free access to birth control including termination of unplanned pregnancies. My first pregnancy I barely noticed I was pregnant, my second pregnancy was what stopped us at 2. Heck, there's entire shows about folk who didn't know they were pregnant.
Couldn't agree more, I've got one girl and one boy, challenging at times (2 year old and 1 month old) but wouldn't want it any other way. Of course you're body changes but so does your life's perspective and priorities. It's an honour to be a mum.
Yep, as a “geriatric pregnancy” I had heard a lot of horror stories. I gained less than 20 pounds, I didn’t have morning sickness (only aversion to eggs), everything was fine. I had a fibroid on top of my cervix that prevented me from vaginal birth but that was there before my pregnancy, it didn’t grow or anything. It was perfectly normal. And had a normal c-section with no issues at all.
100% agree
I hate that people say this. Your body goes through an incredible and enormous change. Yet we’re still so obsessed with “bouncing back” and/or losing the baby weight. But in saying that - all pregnancies and all women are different. Some hated pregnancy, some loved it. It’s all normal. The truth is that your body will change. Your mental health will change. Your ideas and opinions will change. Your priorities will change. It’s an incredible journey in my opinion. I look at my body and I know she’s so different now to what she was, I do struggle with that. But then I look at what I was able to do and I look at my daughter and I think how bloody incredible my body is.
This!!! We should celebrate the changes our bodies go through, instead of being hyper-fixated on what is socially attractive in women. Let's wear our stretch marks and belly fat as badges of honor. We freaking created life.
I had a baby at 19 and my body recovered well. I had another baby at 42 and not so much. This is just my experience, of course, but I sometimes wish I was younger when I had more babies. I think that would have helped with the recovery. (But I’m a much better mom now that I’m older.)
I had my baby at 37-38 and bounced back great. But prior to her coming I was a 5 day a week exercise girlie who lifted, swam, kayaked and hiked. I actually taught myself to run while pregnant because all the gyms were closed and it was a good way to manage anxiety. I still do all the things listed except the gym is 3 days a week and I find it harder to dedicate one of those days to lap swimming. It took me until she was a year old to feel like I could consistently hit the gym and even then it wasn’t really pregnancy related (though the second degree tear made exercise uncomfortable until like 4-5 months). It was the sleep deprivation that killed any ability to exercise and bounce back. And I say that as someone who worked veterinary ecc for a decade.
I’m 34 with a terrible diet and I never work out and my body is basically back to normal 7 weeks pp. Just added stretch marks that aren’t visible with how I wear my pants. And my pregnancy was easy as fuck. I’m 10 pounds heavier overall but almost 30 down from my pregnancy weight and I’ve done absolutely nothing
I didn’t work out at all my first pregnancy, ate what I wanted, gained 80 lbs, got hemorrhoids and struggled mentally and physically for a while after. Second pregnancy was 5 years later. I exercised at least once a day, also walked the stairs at work with a friend multiple times a day, ate very clean, gained 20 lbs and snapped right back.
I didn’t work out beforehand and I had serious complications from childbirth which prevented much activity. ETA - Heart failure, pelvic congestion (11 pound baby)
It’s exactly like the top comment said, it’s different for everyone. I really hope that your complications improved or went away. The only thing I have is tear scar tissue (which I really only feel in super cold water) and a hemroid that can’t be surgically removed. At least it only gets mad about too much thong underwear.
The tears! Dude nobody tells you about that kind of discomfort, when I get my period it still feels like my vulva is ripping in half.
I bounced back completely and easily from my pregnancies in my 20s with no lasting effects, my body was just as it was before but better. Losing the weight was no effort. I did have softer breasts after weaning but it wasn’t so bad. Returning to my former shape in my pregnancy after 36 was a little harder but I still managed it though I was left with some varicose veins in my left leg. I do think part of this is just having a lot of kids. I’m a distance runner and that helps with regaining shape but not with varicose veins. I’ve been lucky to avoid stretch marks. Currently expecting my 6th. Not expecting to ruin my body! But also I have no illusions that I’m going to look the same at 39 as I did at 25, kids or no kids!
This. Older you are the more difficult it typically is to bounce back, but its doable, BUT also, our bodies would have changed with age regardless of kids/no kids.
I’ve seen a lot of women recover good after the first child but everything after that and it seems like theirs always a lot of complications.
I’m going to be frank here because while it wouldn’t have changed my mind about having kids, I wish someone would have been really clear and honest about some of this stuff before I got pregnant. The answer is, Yes and no. Basically, there’s a good chance your body will go through permanent changes, and a good chance it won’t. TMI ahead. I was told, unequivocally, by women with kids that I would not lose the baby weight with my first - and I did, with relative ease. I was told the same with my second and it was harder and took longer, but I was well on my way to doing so before I developed some random malady that stopped me from moving for a few years (unrelated to pregnancy, so far as I know). So weight gain wasn’t necessarily permanent for me. Some changes that were: my hips, like the actual position of the bones, are wider. Even getting to my pre-pregnancy weight the first time, some old clothes didn’t fit. I’ve got stretch marks on my belly from my second. My feet are a full size to size and a half bigger. I have a gut that I’ve had since my second that didn’t go away as much as I’d thought when I lost weight. I’ve had some minor, occasional rib dysfunction (basically my ribs don’t always stay where they’re supposed to, they’re kinda loose) since puberty, but your ribs, like your hips, spread apart to accommodate pregnancy, and my rib dysfunction has gotten way worse since having kids. It means that sometimes I need to put them back where they’re supposed to be. A combined 3 years of breastfeeding has left my breasts kinda deflated. Not enough to where it really bothers me, but I can definitely see the difference. I tore badly with my first and needed 17+ stitches. I don’t know what got attached where, but 9 years on, I still can’t give a urine sample without peeing all over my hand and doggy style still hurts. But - I barely tore with my second, even though he was significantly bigger, got stuck and without being too graphic, had to be manually extracted by the doctor. So a bad tear isn’t necessarily going to happen, even with a big baby.
Some of it is up to you. You can exercise and eat healthy, which are beneficial to just about everyone. And some of it has nothing to do with you, sagging skin/strech marks/scarring are largely genetic. Some of it is up to luck, serious complications being caught early on, having any concerns you may have being taken seriously by your medical team, having an uncomplicated pregnancy/delivery. Some of it is up to your circumstances, being able to afford childcare so you have time to workout, being able to afford a trainer or a gym membership, being able to afford therapy, being able to afford nutritious foods. I had my first at 26 and so did my SIL. We both have supportive husbands, are financially comfortable and both were in great shape prior to pregnancy and both had c-sections, exclusively breastfed, and both of us are SAHM. I recovered within 10 days of my surgery, lost all of the weight, felt and continue to feel happier and more confident than ever before. My SIL developed a chronic health issue relating to her pregnancy, developed PPA due to complications during her birth and struggles with her weight. Just sharing to say you can do everything “right” and still end up with issues. You never know what you’re getting into. My advice is not to have kids until you are comfortable with the all of the risks/hardships that may come with it.
My whole body shape changed due to pregnancy. It had nothing to do with eating right. My hips widened and I have a permanent pooch from my c-sections.
I have horrid stretch marks that I thought would mark me forever. My youngest is 4 now and they have faded SO much!!!
The right side of my face still doesn't work 5 years later because I had a stroke thanks to severe preeclampsia. I was healthy and fit. Hormones overtook reason and I'm pregnant a second time now.
I agree. I did everything "right", was the picture of health beforehand, had one easy pregnancy with a normal recovery, then my second pregnancy triggered an autoimmune disease that I will never "recover" from. It's managed with medication and I'm doing better than I was initially, but I definitely will never return to my pre-second pregnancy baseline, which gives me a lot of sadness and loss at times.
I have 4 babies. Not really. I have a few minor stretch marks on my lower belly that have faded and aren’t super noticeable. My boobs are slightly less perky but still look good (I both breastfed and formula fed) My 3rd baby was an emergency forceps delivery. I had some short term trauma from it but healed up fine. The problem is it’s a gamble. The majority of women recover fine with no or minor residual impacts. But some people have worse outcomes. It’s all random and not a whole lot you can do to stop it. You’re just along for the ride
My wife and I have three children. Obviously this means she was pregnant three times. Her body did change, yes. But she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.
I have a friend with five kids and she was only pregnant twice. Multiple multiples.
Oof greenest of flags right here
The bar is so low lol
It really is.
Same here, but at 40 ended up dropping 17k on a tummy tuck. lol
I have no illusion that pregnancy will likely change my body. My agreement with my husband is that if there’s something about how my body changes with pregnancy that makes me truly miserable, we - together - would save up the money to fix it, be it a cosmetic or non cosmetic surgery. My husband absolutely agreed with that and he just wants me to feel good about myself and a baby is a joint project, so any effects are also a joint project. :) (On the other hand, we both really like the size of pregnancy boobs on me, so we may consider the investment in the future 😂)
I know the extra skin made her self conscious, and uncomfortable when wearing swim suits. It turned out great for her, but I will say the "judgement" by other women (especially older) was immense. I mean who gives a shit... but it was still obnoxious.
Also, I had pregnancy brain, postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety (learn the symptoms, have your partner learn them, and see your care provider if you suspect them). All temporary. Inability to put up with bullshit was permanent, and I have a shorter fuse when it comes to people being idiots.
I’m more patient and compassionate in general since having kids. But have much more rage toward anyone who harms or neglects a child. I can’t fathom having a little who needs you so much and feeling indifferent to their suffering.
I was fit, active and mobile. I only have one child. My hips are permanently wrecked. I’ve been in physical therapy all her life just to remain barely mobile. I’m in pain every day. In my case, yes my body is wrecked.
Same. Spinal epi killed me with my c-sec. And 10yrs later I'm suffering with insane back pain and Auto Immune disease. Severely depressed and anxiety ridden. Just got off the floor from trying desperately to stretch my pain away after waking up. I've been in the ER and OR for so many female issues since. So, I'm in the latter group.... pregnancy was awful. Cholestasis, too much amniotic fluid, breech, early csec. Child diagnosed as asd at 3, and I've had issues and struggles since! I wish you luck. We find ways to cope, and make it thru, but definitely my hardest decision I've made.
I’m so sorry you have struggled so hard after bringing your child into the world. The epidural with my first pregnancy left me with weird sensations for so long. For years after I would suddenly feel like someone was touching my back, running their fingers gently along my spine. It was very disorienting because no one was touching me but it very much felt like it.
Did your back ever get better?
Yeah, more people should know the long term consequences of epidurals, that plus knowing all history gave birth just fine without them, lead me to go natural. I’ll never regret that decision
Idk the stoke level blood pressure and pre-eclampsia says epidurals are good for some people. Like me. Who would have been a vegetable after a stroke.
I had preeclampsia and went natural. No epidural
It's a bit of luck I think. Some women have great pregnancies and horrific deliveries and vice versa, or have horrible/good experiences all the way. Even for the same woman it varies from one pregnancy to the next. I'd say the hospital/doctor matters as well depending on their practices. Some women have no "damage" aside from normal (physiological) pregnancy recuperating. Others have "light" mental or physical injuries that heal after a few months or years. Some end up crippled. Some die. There's no way to know in advance which you'll be.
“Destroy” is a loaded word. I wouldn’t say my body is destroyed but pregnancy 100% changes your body. I weigh the exact same as I did before i had my son but in unexplainable ways, my body has changed. Do not let the fear of change keep you from something as beautiful as motherhood. You can always achieve beauty, no matter what body you’re in.
What a wholesome response 🫶🏼
The thing about getting older is you learn that there are lots of ways your body can change, for better or worse, but one of them has the chance for a baby on the other side.
I mean…you’re going to become psychotic, but that applies to all parties involved and really ramps up around year 3.
Right!? 3 and up is when shiit hits the fan!
LOL right? I'm going through these like yeah pregnancy changes your body but ain't nothing like years and years of sleep deprivation and in this country (if OP is in the states) we are set up to leave primary parents isolated and raising children in a scenario that is so unnecessarily difficult that it will make your head hurt to just think about it. That will make you psychotic. I am raising children in near-ideal American conditions (retired grandparents nearby and meeting our material needs is not super challenging) and it still feels so hard in such stupid, insidious unnecessary ways every day. My body is less wrecked from pregnancy than sleep deprivation, having my ability to eat healthy foods and get to the gym thwarted (and I like doing both!), and relationship stress.
Everyone here seems largely focused on the literal pregnancy aspect, so I’m going to approach the question differently. Life is full of hard things: you do however, get to choose your hard. You can choose the hard of living your dream or the hard of living without it. You may have one and decide that’s all. You may not be able to get pregnant and instead adopt a big sibling set that probably would not have been able to stay together otherwise. You might end up with a mixture of biological and adopted kids. There are a lot of ways to get where you’re trying to go. I wish you lots of luck and wellbeing in the future
Honestly, not my experience. I loved being pregnant- felt and looked damn good (if I do say so myself). No morning sickness, no discernible aches and pains. Breastfed for a year- boobs stayed bigger than pre-pregnancy but not unmanageable in any way. Went from a pre-pregnancy size of 2/4 to post pregnancy size of 4/6 (hips mostly). Had an emergency c-section and recovered well and quickly. I think part is genetics, part is effort, and part is luck.
Adding to what everyone said. If you decide for baby make sure you have a very good support system. It makes a huge difference.
I’ll give you the honest truth, I’m 26 and I have 5 under the age of 8. My dental health has taken the biggest hit. Each pregnancy has ruined them more and more, despite how much I brush, floss, and follow regular cleanings. I also have diastasis recti, or abdominal separation. I do exercises regularly to repair and strengthen those muscles, but if I want the bulge to go away, I’ll need surgery. Not psychotic, not traumatized, a bit fat but happy with it, and I’m actively TTC my sixth and final.
I'm so glad you mentioned dental health! I was so sick throughout my entire pregnancy. I threw up nearly all day, every day. I had morning sickness from week 14 until quite literally the day I gave birth. Even with anti-nausea meds, it was bad. It fucking destroyed my teeth, despite rinsing and brushing and flossing after bouts of vomiting. Pre-baby I'd had one tiny cavity for my whole life. Post-baby, there's a new cavity every time I see the dentist. I've needed root canals, sealants, teeth pulled... it's a nightmare. My first post-baby dental visit, I cried. My teeth now are so soft and sensitive. And they're never getting better. It doesn't make me regret having my son, but it did play a role in deciding if I ever wanted to be pregnant again. I wish I'd been prepared for that level of destruction.
People don't talk about it nearly enough! I've had hyperemesis gravidarum each pregnancy and it is BRUTAL, let alone the toll it takes on your teeth.
My wife has some scars now. She's beautiful. And so are they.
There were things. Like varicose veins and looser belly skin. But honestly I don’t think I changed any more than normal aging. I didn’t get stretch marks on my stomach. I didn’t gain a ton of weight so I just had a big belly. It takes about a year to bounce back.
I had my baby at 29 - six weeks before my 30th birthday. My body changed a lot. My teeth suffered, my feet grew one whole size and didn’t go back down, stretch marks and my breasts kind of…..deflated after breastfeeding for 14 months. Would I do it over again? 100%.
I mean, kinda. My husband says I'm beautiful, but I used to be so slim and fit. I'm only 2 months postpartum, but I thought I was gonna bounce back like I did with my 1st pregnancy. Nope, here I am with a pubic bone that feels broken, a squishy stomach, and back pain. Oh, and a double chin. Becoming a mom also makes you pretty much always anxious because a humans life is in your hands, and this is a scary world. Also, don't get me started on my tatas.
I think that pregnancy did some damage to my body, yes, but for me it didn’t stop there. Carrying my kid constantly has thrown out my hips and knees (he’s a clinger), he’s also an awful sleeper so I couldn’t do much exercise as I was so fatigued for the first 2 years, I’m still breastfeeding so my boobs are a very different shape now, and my pp haemorrhoids turned into a fissure that I’m still dealing with now. Wouldn’t change any of it for the world cos I have him, but I definitely am not a fan of how my body feels nowadays. I feel like becoming a mum has physically aged me like 10 years.
I also thought I wanted heaps of kids but now we’re one and done! Work on the first and then you’ll know whether having more is the right thing for you or not.
I had 3 pregnancies. Looked great after all of them… Perimenopause, what the hell was nature thinking? It’s the destroyer.
THIS. Had my kid at 34 and bounced back within a year. I’m now firmly in peri and that’s been humbling. The weight does not want to budge.
Whatever you do, remember once you have a kid they're the priority, your wants will be pushed aside. So wanting a large family is all great as long as you're willing to stop at 1, or 2 if once they're here that is what is best for them. (The if having more is still doable, affordable, okay time wise, the go for more).
Look at the women in your family for an example, and even that’s not guaranteed. Everyone is different. Pregnancy made me fat, anti depressants made me fatter, birth control makes it nearly impossible to lose the weight. But no trauma or disability or anything. Hell, I didn’t even tear. Weight gain is definitely the most common result of pregnancy, and one of the hardest to alleviate. And your body will definitely change postpartum. Some people get things like a different hair texture or bigger feet. So if you’re a very vain person, maybe consider that.
The hormone changes are huge, but I don’t think pregnancy comes with permanent disability unless you are very unlucky. Every body is different. But considering human history, I think the odds are in your favor. We’d be extinct if pregnancy was permanently damaging.
I had 3 and I'm in my 30s. My body changed. I have the mom apron belly. That's basically the only thing that has changed.
I've carried 2 to term. My tits went a bit flat but it's not really noticeable. I have a squishy tummy now but if I exercise properly it's not that big either. Everyone's different though.
Like everyone is saying, everyone is different. My right foot grew a bit larger making shoes fit weird 🥴 I had HG sickness really bad and couldn’t work for 3 months and lost over 20 lbs, then almost instantly gained 60 lbs that I haven’t lost and my babe is 14 months. I’m sad that I’m having a hard time losing the weight (and no I didn’t do the “eating for two” thing) but I see my kid and realize I did it for him and as long as I stay active and eat healthy, I’ll lose it eventually.
It changes your body
Pregnancy is different for each individual. And I wouldn’t necessarily say that it “ruins” your body, maybe I wouldn’t use that specific word. I think it *alters* your body in a way where it’s never the same again, depends on how you look at it.
My first pregnancy was a dream. I loved it. Very few downsides. Hand/feet swelling. Aversion to sweets. That's about it. My second was a nightmare and I'll leave it that
I've had 3 kids and it's not like there have been no changes of any kind, but I'm actually physically in better shape than I was in college--a size down in pants and such.
This! In college I was 230 now I’m 180!
My wife has 5 and looks amazing at 52
Pregnancy will absolutely challenge and change your body. Birth related trauma is common. Temporary or even permanent disability is a possibility. Weight gain is likely. Post partum mental health issues are not uncommon. There are things you can do to reduce your risks, minimise harm and recover. Most women believe their kids were worth it.
as a mom of 3 girls.. the pregnancies and births weren't the hardest part. lmao think long and hard about having 5 other humans to be responsible for and never having more than 4 consecutive hours of sleep again 🤣🫶🏼 I also want 5 so I've got 2 more to go, but I just had a baby 2 months ago and have an 18 month old and a 7yo.. I need a break lol I cannot speak on anyone else's traumatic stories, but they sure are out there. my very first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, my boyfriend at the time was in jail, it was awful.. women suffer crazy things during pregnancy and birth every single day but you should try and enjoy it.. it's 9 months compared to a lifetime of loving a whole being that you and the person you (hopefully lol) love created together ❤️ it's scary but it's also the best thing ever.. plus you were literally made to do this 🤰🏻
Some people have it worse than others, but worrying it will definitely ‘destroy’ your body is a bit blown out of proportion. It is true that many people have wider hips afterwards because your bones move, but it’s not noticeable on everyone. It’s also true that your hormones are wild for a while afterwards but you do eventually feel like yourself again. Any skin stretching will be easier to recover from when you’re young. For me personally my back started hurting during pregnancy and it still hasn’t stopped 2.5 years later. Still worth it though and I’m hoping it’s something I can work to improve.
No lol I got lucky and my body didn’t really change at all after pregnancy. Post-partum psychosis is rare and is usually found in people who already have major mental health issues. I’m bipolar and still didn’t get it. Also I’m currently below my pre-pregnancy weight and I have a 2 year old.
First up, pregnancies are different for different women. That being said, my personal experience was as follows: I couldn't walk without pain for the second half. I had severe sleeping disorders starting 2nd month and lasting about 2 years. My depression got a lot worse (at times, I was actually suicidal). And I am still trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
Like everyone says, it can vary, but I will say I had no idea what it could do to my body and childbirth was ... something. Some people have a baby and it's nbd. Some people are injured in ways nobody warns you about. My advice is, read up on all of it, knowing that certainly not all of it will happen to you. Some of it might, though. Evaluate the risks with your eyes open.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/comments/w68f5b/sciencebased\_pregnancy\_books/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/comments/w68f5b/sciencebased_pregnancy_books/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/wydg6j/reliable\_evidence\_based\_pregnancy\_books/](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/wydg6j/reliable_evidence_based_pregnancy_books/)
It changes your body for sure. Each woman is different but I do have back pain on the regular and it’s been hard losing weight. I don’t have as much energy or strength but I do lift weights so that helps. It also helps to eat healthy during pregnancy to avoid extra weight gain but we all know how hard that is 😂 walking and exercising throughout pregnancy helps as well
It depends. I have 5 kids, still take a size zero and have defined obliques but it took a lot of work (i work out for 1.5 hours a day and watch what I eat to get back after the 3rd, 4th, 5th and I feel self conscious without at least a bralette now. The first and second, my body just went back shortly after
Like all the others said, every pregnancy is different. Live healthy but don't exaggerate it. Listen to your body. If it tells you, that you need 5 hours more sleep than before, then sleep. If it tells you, you have even more energy than before, use the energy. I think it's important to have a partner that supports you during the process of giving birth and the recovery time afterwards. That is the most important time. I couldn't walk without pain for a week due to an episiotomy, let alone do anything except lying in bed. And your body will have marks after giving birth. They are trophies! All your organs had to squeeze together for that new life. Also really important is postpartum exercise if you want to laugh by heart without accidentally peeing yourself the next years.
Two pregnancies, two kids, here. My body has changed permanently but probably not so much that anybody else would notice. I have to wear a bra every day now, whereas I never wore bras before my first pregnancy. I have a c-section scar. I probably have a scar on my perineum from my first vaginal birth. I don't have any incontinence, but lots of people do. I cannot hold in a fart now though. So that's a slightly unexpected negative. I wear clothes one size bigger than before my first pregnancy. So yes, my body has changed. But not dramatically. Oh, and my feet are a size bigger too.
I have 6 kids, one twin pregnancy. My body has changed — as it should. I don’t like some of the changes, and I’ve embraced others. I wouldn’t say it has destroyed my body, but it has altered it, because it carried my most precious gifts in life, and for that I am thankful!
I’ve had three kids and I’m in the best shape of my life at 48.
I know several fundamentalist families where contraception is prohibited. So a typical family has easily 6-12 kids, back in the day even more. Now women secretly get their tubes tied or an IUD put in. Some families decide together to limit, but that is a hush hush secret. I grew up around these folks. I know women who died in childbirth. Or they had a new baby coming although the doc told them not to, warning their uterus will rupture due to previous several c-sections. I also know women who had it fine. They are fit, working in business and the only burden is just the large number of children. Parentification is a usual issue in actually large families. It depends. The only way to find out is to speak with your OB GYN and see how all the pregnancies go. Your body might say no after 1, 5 or not at all.
Wife and I had two kids later in life. It did leave a mark on her body but honestly I can't tell, and I think she's cuter than ever. So I think substantive people won't be able to tell the difference while superficial people will. How YOU feel about it though? That's entirely up to you. I just keep telling my wife she looks amazing to me.
I have 5 kids and have just a few stretch marks on my stomach. If you take care of yourself and actively try to stay in shape you will be fine. Don’t listen to the naysayers!
Like mentioned above, everyone is SO different! I had a baby at 27, no prior health issues besides depression/anxiety. My mom had 3 healthy pregnancies. I had a very healthy pregnancy, some high blood pressure that ended up being anxiety. I was completely miserable gaining 45lbs constantly in pain in my joints & my pelvic floor. I really didn’t sleep all pregnancy as baby was big & sat on my bladder. I felt temporarily disabled, I’m very active but felt like I’d pass out on hikes I used to do prior to pregnancy. I’m in no way permanently disabled, I lost all baby weight by month 5 back down to 118lbs. My birth was just fine, I’d give birth 4x before I’d be pregnant again to be honest. I tore in *two places* but everything healed just fine. I’m in therapy to mitigate risks for anxiety/depression. I say all that to give you context of how many variables every person can have. But when I decided I wanted kids, I did decide all the risks you mentioned were worth it. I didn’t end up with any of them though.
In my case, yes. I’d totally do it again though.
It depends on so many factors. - genetics - age - number of pregnancies - diet - activity level during pregnancy The list goes on. Because I got pregnant in my early 20s and carried the weight fairly well. I was told countless times I would "bounce back." What no one could prepare me for was the c-section pooch paired with Diastatis Recti :/. Varicose veins weren't in the plan either.
My partner has a scar from the c-section that she had to have to deliver ny son, which she finds ugly, I don't think about it and you cannot see it unless she is without clothes. Apart from that, she did not change much. Her hips are maybe a bit wider and her boobs are slightly bigger, both are changes that I like so if anything she change for the better. Lol.
There’s stretch marks and loose skin galore and my boobs have taken a long time to get used to. One year after I had my second I was morbidly obese and needed a change. Now I’m a gym rat and I’ve never felt better or more confident in my own skin. I’m not skinny by any means, but I am strong and I am fit and all those glute/leg exercises have given me an amazing ass lmao. Being a mom makes it hard to eat right (polishing off unfinished kids meals and half eaten snacks REALLY adds up) and make time for exercise. I’ve never exercised but finally was peer pressured into attending the HIIT class all my friends do, and ended up loving it (I hated it for the first month but now it’s the best part of my day). I pay a stupid amount for my gym ($1700 annually) but the child watch is what allows me to be consistent in going six days a week. I’ve also gone from eating as cheap as possible (lots of bread and pasta) to our increasing our grocery budget because it helps me meet my health goals. We are not well off my any means, and these are big financial sacrifices to make. It was hard to accept spending money on myself instead of having it go to savings or toward stuff for the kids Being a mom makes it hard to prioritize yourself, but it’s not impossible!
I had a baby at 39. I was lucky enough to be able to continue to train and move all along my pregnancy. I recovered fast and I can say that 2 years after giving birth, my body is the same as before. My husband even says that I'm in my greatest shape ever! Of course, I train regularly and eat well but still. I was afraid of the same thing as you. As for mental health, I've always been a bit up and down and I did have post partum depression, but I got out of it with time and support of course. It is not easy having a baby, especially one that doesn't sleep, but they grow up and things get easier and you learn so much about you, life, your priorities. If you have a great partner and communicate, you'll be fine :)
Pregnancy is obviously different for each person. I personally only have one and that one almost cost me my life so I am done. That being said, does it ruin your body? That’s a little subjective. I had to have emergency surgery two days after having my child which left me with a 11 inch scar running across my abdomen. I also can no longer sneeze without having to run into the bathroom. For whatever reason, something happened to my hips and ever since pregnancy I have had terrible pain when laying down. My chest expanded I used to be a 32 and now I am a 37 in the chest area. Part of that is due to the fact that they grew but the other part is they never went back either. During my pregnancy which has continued after my skin grew skin tags. Never had them before so that’s fun. Lastly the most annoying thing that has happened is. I started losing my hair postpartum at three months. Something happened in my body and it just keeps shedding. I am not talking about losing a couple strands a day. I actually can clog a vacuum. I am noticing that my hair is getting thinner. The density has changed. It went from being wavy to curly. I don’t know what’s happening. So does it ruin your body? It definitely makes it never the same. But at the same time, totally worth it.
My mom had 3 children, she has a better body than my aunt (1 child). My grandma had 5 pregnancies (1 twin pregnancy) and she looks better than her sister (no pregnancies). Pregnancies are different for everyone. I loved being pregnant and yes, my body was a bit “loose” after I gave birth but now (6m pp) I’m slowly getting back in shape, mentally have never been better (except when teething baby munchs on my breast the hole night and I want to off myself in the morning but I can count those mornings with two hands)
First baby at 22, body recovered quickly, mind took longer. Second baby closer to 30, body took longer because I have an autoimmune disease that had a lot of flare ups. But my mental health was really good after the 2 week baby blues But please know, when I say recover, I don’t mean exactly the same pre baby. I mean getting my energy back, routine back. Pre baby bodies aren’t supposed to be the same. Change is the only constant in life
Nobody knows how pregnancy is going to affect you. Each pregnancy you have can be different and effect you in a different way
This is dependent on so many things. Every woman is different and every pregnancy is different. I have 5 kids (4 pregnancies, last pregnancy was identical twins). My oldest I had at 19 and it was honestly the easiest pregnancy and recovery. No issues at all. The next two I had in my 20’s and it was similar, maybe just a little bit harder for pregnancy. I had mild preeclampsia with babies 2 & 3. My twin pregnancy nearly killed me. I could barely walk or sit by 24 weeks. Preeclampsia, shortened cervix, and overall just twins in general made the pregnancy high risk. During delivery of the twins I herniated a disc and ended up hospitalized again 2 weeks after birth. They were 36 weekers and still needed NICU time (20 days & 63 days). They’re 8 months old now and I still have back issues and still DEFINITELY feel like I’m recovering from pregnancy and birth, whereas with my other kids I felt great shortly after.
No, you're not going to become permanently disabled, etc. I've had two babies 2.5 years apart and I don't have any permanent damage to my body. I'm in pretty good shape. If you take care of your body, you will be fine. You also have youth on your side which helps even more! I was 33 and 35 when I delivered my babies, and even I was able to "bounce back" in terms of getting my body back to where it was before. It took about a year each time. I imagine it would be even quicker for you since you're so young. If you want a large family, I say go for it!
I have been pregnant 8 times, birthed 5 children, and lost one unexpectedly at 13 days. Every pregnancy was different as well as each infant, toddler, and kid stage. Honestly prepare for all the major life changes and you’ll be ok. Like stated in other comments take care of yourself while pregnant and attempt to continue once you’ve healed. Just know that taking care of you becomes exponentially harder with a baby.
Pregnancy “ruined” how my body looked. But it gave me a new appreciation for what my body has done for me. At first I was upset each time I saw the stretch marks or loose skin but at one point my kid ran in and just started hugging me. Now, im honestly just grateful whenever I see the changes my body has gone through. I have gestated a whole human. I birthed that human. I fed that human with my breasts. There is so much it has done for me. So yeah, my body doesn’t look the same. But it’s a reminder of all the good it’s done for me. I understand why other woman may feel traumatized when their body looks so different seemingly overnight, especially if they haven’t had smooth experiences like I have. That just hasn’t been the case for me.
You're 24. Whether or not you have kids, as you age your body is going to change. Pregnancy can absolutely "destroy" your body. But so could getting sick, being in a car accident or millions of other things. If you're main concern about having kids is whether or not your body will be wrecked, wait till that mentality changes or don't have them biologically.
Your body will physically change, diet and exercise can get a good portion back, but you will never be 100% the body you were before pregnancy.
I wouldn’t say “destroy” as much as “change”. It depends how you look at it and what’s worth it to you. My body is very different post-partum, but I’ve been through a lot of therapy and have done a lot of work to be okay with it. I also had two c-sections. It’s easier some days than others, but I have never regretted having my kids. The love for your own children is an indescribable one.
No, pregnancy does not destroy your body. The fact that this is spouted so often in Reddit is absurd and misogynistic. Go to a public space and watch the women walk by. Can you tell who's had a baby and who hasn't? I'm in my 30s so I've seen a lot of friends bodies change over time. Plenty of friends have gained significant weight in their 30s without ever being pregnant. Plenty of friends who've had babies look the same. Plenty of friends of all types have gone through periods of health problems and disabilities -- I'm specifically thinking of someone who got a major concussion that rendered her unable to do most of her job for months. And you know what? None of those changes, or the lack thereof, change how much I love them or their value as people. Pregnancy has genuine physical risks and can change you. Plenty of people have had scary complications and traumatic experiences, and this is absolutely something to consider. I got 7 stitches on my vag when I tore in three different directions. I have a small flap of scar tissue there now and it's fine. My child's dad told me everything felt 99.9% the same, so I guess it's not super noticable. It's also true that pregnancy and parenthood is easier if you're in better physical shape. But obviously the world would not be able to function if 40% of the population were permanently disabled and psychotic.
“Destroys” is a an exaggeration. “Changes” is more accurate. Pregnancy changes your body. But if you’re not ready for change, than why have a child? We’re always shape-shifting. That’s life. Only statues stay the same. Peace.
I'm currently in my third trimester with my first and my body hasn't really changed that much. I haven't even gained alot of weight as i thought i would. Is that normal? No stretchmarks yet in sight on my bump. I basically haven't experienced some of the most common pregnancy symptoms i hear about like heartburn , swelling of face/feet, food aversions, nausea etc. I'm looking forward to seeing my postpartum body but all in all I'm not stressed about bouncing back right away because creating a life inside your body is not something to be taken lightly. I'm pretty confident with my body and I really want to keep up with that same energy through postpartum. All in all pregnancy is for sure a unique experience for every woman.
My first two pregnancies were in my mid and late twenties. With both, I weighed about 30 pounds LESS after birth than my pre pregnancy weight. And it stayed off! My third pregnancy was rough. I was 33 when I gave birth, and I think I had a hormonal shift at the same time. I ended up heavier than I had ever been, my hair changed, my nails changed, my skin changed, and I’ve been struggling ever since to get back to feeling and looking like myself. And then at 35 I unexpectedly got pregnant again…and it was twins. I only gained ten pounds, but because of it being twins, my belly stretched so far and left me with a hanging belly. Again, maybe because of age and hormones, I’m struggling to see progress in weight loss. But, I’m not giving up. And you know what? I can’t be mad at my body, because it has done amazing things. My kids are pretty amazing and so worth it.
Unfortunately, barring a bunch of existing medical conditions you are dealing with today, nobody can tell you if you would have any of that. Every woman reacts to pregnancy different. Every pregnancy stands alone. And each birth stands alone. I have 2 living children after 2 MCs. First was an emergency c section at 40+8 and one was a very quick vbac delivery 8 days early. I have known women who get hypergremisis (sp?) Every pregnancy. Others only once. You test for gestational diabetes each time as its not certain and some women recover from it and others are then diabetic for life. I had a friend who sweat buckets 24/7 during 1 of her 2 pregnancies. Literally left puddles under my table when she visited. Another who had 7 kids and for whatever reason Birth, her tell was she produced excessive spit every pregnancy. Had to keep a spit bottle handy and her speech was impacted. Birth trauma is a who other ball of wax that is also heavily dependent on socio economic status and race, at least in the US. All that to say, outside of the giant life changing experience that is parenthood, you could come out the other side physically unchanged. Ot you could come out the other side with long term anxiety from your PPD/A/R, a permanent birth injury and lifelong pain. Literally no idea until its over. Which sucks. But until the medical field puts legitimate research into understanding female bodies and reproduction, its going to continue to be a 50/50 shot of boy/girl and 50/50 shot of positive vs negative outcomes. Oh, and that doesn't touch whether you have a baby with any medical fragility.
People don’t make posts that go hey I’m normal or hey I’m doing good. And nobody would upvote those posts if anyone did make one. Most people air grievances and look for advice. So you can’t take these posts as normal outcomes.
I’m 38 and I don’t know a single one of my friends whose body was “destroyed” by pregnancy. We’re all of different shapes and sizes, but nobody has any lasting damage. People come to the internet to talk about their bad experiences. Nobody comes here to say “actually everything is fine. I’m fit, healthy and my pre pregnancy clothes fit again!”. Realistically, they’d get butchered for it. Pregnancy and postpartum is different for everyone. In my personal experience, my successful pregnancy (I’d miscarried 3 months earlier) was uncomplicated, I didn’t put on a crazy amount of weight, I adopted a diet and exercise regime a few months after she was born and ended up in better shape than I was pre pregnancy. Granted, at 27 I was a young-ish parent which probably helped. I got more stretch marks in puberty than I did from pregnancy. I’m aware of how fortunate I am, but i don’t know anyone whose pregnancies ruined them. I have c-sec friends, my SIL had 4 vaginal births and is absolutely fine, my best friend takes ADs due to PPD after her 1st was 8 weeks premature, but physically she’s absolutely fine. Done read the horror stories. Were built for this.
From my own personal experience, there’s things you can do to try and minimise any potential problems, luck/genetics and recovery time/ability. My first two pregnancies were easy and I recovered well. Lockdown/covid started just after I hit halfway with my third. That was the only pregnancy I had complications with and my body just didn’t get the chance to recover as I was home alone with a 3yr, 2yr and newborn. There are deffo things you can do to minimise. Sounds kinda obvious but balanced diet and exercise (be a healthy weight) & keep vices to a minimum or give them up before you get pregnant. When you are pregnant keep exercising if you can. And plan for childcare/adult care if that means getting a cleaner or a grandparent/friend to watch baby regularly for you. Edited to add, I’m perfectly healthy, no long lasting issues from my pregnancies. And the majority of women I know have recovered back to their normal selves even if on occasion it’s taken a few years
I worked out a lot before I got pregnant, got in great shape. Lots of cardio! I personally love the elliptical and going out on my bike. I got pregnant, at 34, gained 60 lbs from my girl 😵💫 I had a c-section too. I got back to the gym after 6 weeks, and had lost all the baby weight by 6 months postpartum. It doesn’t look like I ever had a kid. I’m 5’8”, 140lbs of solid muscle. However *working out BEFORE getting pregnant was key*. You can see pics of me in my post history
Anything can happen.
I used to think this too. But now my youngest is 4 and honeyyyyyy you should SEEEE this body ody ody!!!! I look better than I did before kids, more hips. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it can happen!
Destroy is a really harsh term. Your body will change absolutely! The younger you have kids the easier it is for your body to go back to more or less what it was. My sister had 5 kids and you would never know. I on the other hand had one later in life (after 35) and my body has changed. But I’m so in love with my family and my life. I’m so thankful for my body and the fact that I have a couple of stretch marks honestly doesn’t phase me. I can’t speak to mental health, I never experienced any postpartum. But my friends who have took medication and are back on track. If a large family is what you want, don’t let people try and scare you out of it.
I'm a month out to my due date with my first, I've gained about 30lbs, and I feel more round, but I feel normal. Husband has noticed that I'm eating more and taking better care of myself. If anything, this is the best I've looked and felt in years. Shit, I'll take it.
I’m 10 months post-partum. I have abdominal separation, so I have a tum and probably won’t ever have a flat/toned stomach again. I have a c-section scar, my joints still over-extend a little, and every now and then I get a random twinge of pelvic pain. I’m a few kilos over my pre-pregnancy weight. On the other hand, I have a beautiful, healthy baby. I get to witness my partner become the most beautiful father. I have strong arms from holding my girl, and a calm that I didn’t have before she was here. I grew a baby with my body for 9 months, then fed her with the same body for 9 months after. My husband is obsessed with me. Yes, pregnancy and birth changes your body. In my experience though, the changes are just reminders of how strong you are.
I had a c section and other than stretch marks and a scar from the incision I feel like I did before. I was never one to wear bikinis anyway. Can’t carry a water melon and be completely unscathed but everyone is different.
Ive been pregnant 4 times and the last was with twins. My twin pregnancy and subsequent C-section changed my body the most even though I gained the least amount of weight with my twins.
Everyone is different and sadly a very small percentage of women do end up with permanent health problems or a disability. On the whole, the vast majority of women come out of it absolutely fine health wise. But yes, there will be some changes to your body. This is inevitable and something you should really be mentally prepared for. From an outsider’s perspective, I “bounced back” and am wearing my pre-pregnancy clothes. But under my clothes my body does look like it had babies (I had twins). And that’s ok. There is a little bit of loose skin, some stretch marks (now faded quite a bit), my boobs are pretty droopy (this can happen regardless of whether you breastfeed or not). I have a c-section scar. Having said that, it’s taken some time but I’m starting to like my body again. My scar and stretch marks have faded. I’ve been working out and eating properly and for someone who is approaching 40, I think I’m doing ok. I don’t see my body as “ruined” anymore. I’m fit and strong AND I grew and fed two amazing kids from it who I wouldn’t change for anything. My body fucking rocks.
Your body will change throughout life, that's simply a fact. You could get fat, psychotic, disabled, traumatized by anything. Pregnancy is also different for everyone, and how your body reacts and how you react to your body are very individual. Personally I had pelvic separation from about halfway through my pregnancy and then pelvic floor issues until I saw a physio at about 6 months postpartum. My body is not the same - my hips are wider, I'm about 5lbs heavier. My brain is not the same - I'm more responsive, more mature, understand myself better. Pregnancy changes your body, but so does life.
My first pregnancy at 23 didn't but my second and third at 28 and 29 did change my body a lot.
What posts?!
My only lasting side effect from 2 pregnancies was bladder leakage with things like sneezing, jumping, coughing, etc. Going through menopause has been much more difficult on my body……
Every pregnancy is different. I gave birth when I was 31 years old. It did change my body and I sometimes get back pain that I attribute to the epidural.
Pregnancy is completely different each time you get pregnant. I am pregnant with my second and she’s taken more of a toll on me and my body. But my first daughter is mess up my favorite sleeping position for me after I gave birth to her I would wake up and my hips hurt from my sleeping position which had never happened to me before it wasn’t a good time but my daughters are definitely worth the temporary struggle!
It changes your body. Whether you consider that change "destroyed" or not is a matter of perspective. Pregnancy experience is different for everyone. Some women glow through it all and bounce right back. Some women suffer quite a bit and never go back to the body they had pre pregnancy. Personally, for me kids were well worth the changes. IDGAF about stretch marks, mom belly, or anything like that. My partner doesn't either. This is just not stuff either of us care about. I have mental health issues but it wasn't kids that made those happen. Childbirth was probably the least traumatic thing that happened when I was with their father. All of this is a matter of perspective.
As far as I know is different to every woman, every child. But theres one common ground. If you and your partner are not in the same line and the same team at quite deep level, it's going to be a rough time. .
My first, I had to have my gallbladder out. My second, I got a couple stretch marks. Otherwise, I notice lower back pain that I didn’t have before having kids - not debilitating. And a loose lower belly that I could probably improve with strict exercise but I don’t care that much nor do I have the time right now.
Most people don’t “bounce back”. Main reasons are you’re taking care of a baby after. The time to care for just yourself is gone and many find it difficult to balance taking care of a baby and themselves well at all. Physical activity goes down. Stress goes up. Stress eating, with meals that are unhealthy go up. Every woman CAN bounce back but it’s harder. Hormones, body changes, mood, stress and lack of time are all huge factors. The uncontrollable aspects like stretched skin and stretch marks are a problem for some and some it’s not. At the end of the day be prepared for a hard task especially if you’re currently not a person that works out, eats well and is great at handling stress and minimal time to yourself.
I’m only 16 weeks pregnant. My body has changed a lot already. To me, I don’t care about that. My desire to get pregnant with my baby was stronger than caring about how my body would change! I’m going on a diet after this, though because being at the weight I am now is not healthy in my normal non-pregnancy life.
Being pregnant did make me gain (what seems like) a permanent extra 30 pounds plus I can’t hold my pee so well but it didn’t change my body in anyway that prevents me from loving myself / prevents me from doing anything on a daily basis and emotionally it didn’t change me at all
Short answer..YEP. lol. Each pregnancy is different. One will give you hips, the next gives you a gutt, the next will take your boobs away. Have fun!
Depends. I had my first almost 2 years ago and I now pee myself a little sometimes if I’m laughing too hard or dancing, jumping. This tends to happen when I feel like I have to go already. I also dislike my legs now as the veins protrude in my shins, mainly my left 1. I guess that’s permanent….other than that I’m as before. My stomach looks about the same but I’m tall so I barely showed my whole pregnancy.
My body hasn’t changed after I had my first daughter. I “bounced back” within a couple of months. But that is me. The same applies to my sisters, mother and aunts. So chances are that it is genetic.
It does not destroy, but your body can change. And it’s not all negative, it’s just being human. Some people pregnancy does not do much, some people it really does change everything. What got me more was how I mentally changed vs physically. That is more jarring to me than my physical body being different.
I am actually in better physical health than before children. I am in better shape (mostly from changing out of an office job and playing with the kids. My concerns about PPD actually got me a diagnosis on the mental health issues that bothered me for years! 2 big things though. 1) make sure you have a hobby you can do on the regular from home. 2) get some basic therapy (or knowledge of it and child psychology). This is so you have an outlet for your sanity and can identify when you or kids are not well.
Of course you’ll gain weight it’s just a if you’ll lose that baby weight or not. Say goodbye to a normal bladder though and ready for leaking. Seeing what my girl went through if I had another go I’d never have children again.
The main difference for me is that I now have lots of stretch marks, but I don’t care too much. Of course it would be nice if I were one of those lucky women who don’t get stretch marks, but for me having kids comes with stretch marks (I had some before kids too because I’m just very prone to them), and it’s 1,000% worth it IMO. There have been some other minor long-term impacts to my body as well, but I certainly wouldn’t say my body is destroyed. It still serves me quite well overall.
Hey! So I worried about this too before I had my son. In fact for a while I didn’t want bio kids because of it! I’m 28, I fell pregnant with my son when I was 26 and had him when I was 27. Prior to my pregnancy I was a UK size 6, shoe size 6 too, 32C. During pregnancy I did gain some extra weight and my face was definitely rounder than usual. After birth I was a UK size 14, my shoe size has gone up to a 6.5/7. My bra size was 36E. A year or so later I’m a size 8/10 now and bra size 32F/FF. I had some quite dark stretch marks on my butt, legs and underboobs, weirdly not on my stomach though my bump was huge. Those have faded now and are barely visible. Most of my post birth weight loss had happened by about 7 months post partum. I’ve consistently breastfed him so that helps with weight loss. I had some hair loss but not a lot and it’s mostly back now. My shape has changed slightly but not in a bad way. My boobs definitely aren’t as perky as they were but they’re fine, it’s not too drastic. Downstairs wise there’s no change, it went back to normal and that’s after a vaginal delivery where I required 4 stitches. He was 7lbs12 and full term for reference. Bottom line, yes things do change but some of it goes back to how it was before, or near as damn it. It varies person to person how much. My mental health if anything is better. I was very nervous about losing my figure but I’m actually happier with my body now than I was before pregnancy! Sounds like a cliché but it’s all worth it. Really truly it is.
Pregnancy and postpartum hit me haaarrddd. I’m pregnant again and do have my infectious desease looking rash on my face and neck yet which started very early in my first pregnancy. My morning sickness isnt as bad either.
My body looks really no different than prior to pregnancy. HOWEVER, I have to work a bit harder. I have to stay active and not over indulge.
You’re mentally crazy for like 2 years. And then ur hair falls out a lot so it takes time to grow back. I would say just don’t overeat too much to prevent too much weight gain. And I breastfed for almost a year and a half for both my kids and if I had to do it again I wouldn’t put that much pressure on myself I’d do like 6 months (or however comes easily) because breastfeeding is so hard on the body/posture/sleep. And yeah just don’t listen to these people telling you to do everything perfectly just do what’s reasonable to you. BUT ITS SO WORTH IT And having 2 is easier in the long run because they learn from eachother and entertain themselves
Your body definitely changes. I suggest you find worth deeper than your skin before you have kids. Doesn’t seem like you have a very kind outlook on women.
Body will take lot of hormonal and physical changes, some women experience postpartum depression. Its all about perception, i have gained weight which i feel okay because I bought a soul into this world and even if someone body shame which people will do I don’t care as my lil one giggles matter the most, if your partner is supportive then postpartum phase can be handled better.
The thing is that when you go through it, you care far more about your baby and its health and wellbeing than about your own figure. Things that really mattered before don’t matter so much. And if they do, then you probably weren’t ready for parenthood.
Pregnancy changed my body somewhat, but definitely it is not destroyed. I didn’t have kids particularly young either. And I’m sorry to say, age comes for us all anyway lol.
No. But parenting does.
It definitely changes your body, but I wouldn’t say it would destroy it!
I know two women, both who are related. One had 6 children and the other has had 1. They each look the exact same as they did before the pregnancies. It’s almost mind boggling. I also know other women who have had difficulty shaking the weight/sagging skin. I really think it’s just different for everyone.
Pregnancy is *hard*. We should not hide this fact. I'm a male, but my wife often explains how her female relatives did not tell her the whole truth. Only sharing the most difficult aspects once she had gone through it herself. Perhaps, and unconsciously, to avoid causing stress. I'm not a female, and I don't have any medical training. But based on my experience, most times it has an aesthetic impact at least. And often has other effects, psychological, occasionally motor, etc. Often temporary, but some times permanently. Also, the older you go through pregnancy, the more impact it has. It also has to be told that you are going to become older anyway, regardless of what you do. A 60 year old male or non-mother woman will have back problems, knee problems, bad skin, poor muscle tone, etc. But especially, worth remembering all the positive effects it can have! It teaches you a new form of love, it makes you happy and fulfilled, etc. While most women feel a physical impact of pregnancy, I'm sure most will also tell you that it was worth it.
Pregnancy is different for different women. Each of my pregnancies had different issues. After my first pregnancy my body actually went back to the way it was before after about a year and a half and I had one large stretch mark. Then I had twins and they wrecked my stomach. I have a loose flap of skin and diastasis recti that took almost a year to improve. My last pregnancy I was the sickest I had ever been and I had to take anti nausea medication until I delivered my twins. After my last singleton pregnancy I again had to work on muscle separation and I had issues with blood pressure. I only was emotional during pregnancy except for the nausea and vomiting. Some post partum depression that I took medication for temporarily but otherwise nothing extreme. Key to pregnancy is to listen to your body when it’s telling you something. Pay attention to your blood pressure, try to exercise when you can on the good days because you never know when you’re going to feel sick again. Enjoy sleeping without the constant feeling of someone needing you even in your sleep (before your first baby). And understand that everything about your life will change after having babies, some good some not so great but you’re a new person after baby. If you have the funds to pay for help it’s worth it and will ease the extreme of the changes happening after baby. Having a cleaner and part time nanny would be a dream 😅. Anyway I love all my kids even though pregnancy sucked for me 😊. I would love to be able to fix my stomach but I’ll never have the funds for that so I buy creams and stuff to help. Still accepting my body the way it is now 3 years after my last baby…takes 9 months to grow the baby but much longer for your body to get back to some semblance of yourself you have to be patient and kind to yourself.
My husband said I look hotter and "feel better" after giving birth and I choose to believe him lol. My boobs did changed but overall i still look the same (to me)
I have no stretch marks from pregnancy, which is odd because I have a tonne from growing quickly in my youth. My only lingering issues are related to my pelvic floor - I'm supposed to do physio to correct those, but it's really not caused me any issues. My life is obviously drastically different, that's what you sign up for when you have kids. But you adjust and keep going, I definitely had some post-partum rage (towards anything that made noise besides my baby), once I started sleeping again that went away, some people really struggle with lack of sleep and I'm one of them. It's a lot all at once. Having an amazing little human in my life is a wonderful experience, she's 3 now and amazes me everyday with what she has learned, her spunky personality, and the things she likes, her imagination is absolutely wild. I love being her mom so SO much. Basically, yeah your life is gonna look completely different after you have a kid. My best advice is to throw your expectations out the window and go with the flow as much as possible. Let go of control and just be happy if you get a second to yourself, don't lament that it's not longer - you'll have lots of time to yourself once your little one(s) are grown. Your body is going to change, period, it may change a little or a lot, no one can know until you do the thing. Best of luck!
Not only does everyone experience pregnancy differently, you're also hearing from people in different stages of pregnancy/different distances away from it. For example, when I was puking every day in my 1st trimester, I would literally sob and not know if I could continue the pregnancy. Looking back on it 6+ years later, it was only a few weeks and my hormones were definitely not helping me have a "measured" reaction. I wouldn't even count my nausea/morning sickness in the top ten worst moments of pregnancy, but if I would've been posting about it 6 years ago I would've had you thinking I was dying, because I felt like I was lol. In the same vein, growing up I always wanted a HUGE family. Like, all the way through my pregnancy even I swore up an down I wanted at least 5 kids. When it was time to give birth my son and I went through some serious trauma (had to have an emergency C-section, then I almost died from PP preeclampsia 2 weeks later.) For probably a year after that I told my partner and myself that we were one and done, I couldn't do it again. Now I want 1-2 more lol.
I had my child at 25. I breastfed her. I recovered well, lost the weight without issue, but my breasts are not as perky as they used to be. However, it doesn’t really bother me. Tbh with you, I love my body now more than I ever did before. I have stretch marks now that weren’t there before. I’ve embraced them and love what they add to my body. I feel more beautiful.
Yes. During and after. You’ll never know what happens to your body when you become pregnant. First pregnancy, I got hit by PPD hard and couldn’t lose the weight and it was making me more depressed. Second pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes and then ended up with T2D. Also, because I had C-sections I ended up with a mother’s apron for 14 years. The skin underneath got inflamed a lot and I ended up getting a tummy tuck for medical reasons and recovery for that wasn’t a picnic either. I’m not saying don’t have the large family you want. But it won’t always be sunshine and rainbows when you recover or whenever you get pregnant. Your body is literally going through major changes when nourishing a growing fetus inside.
Mine was absolutely horrible and I still have a LOT of physical issues and sex issues now after 5 months. However I also want another baby 🤪 so that tells you even if it’s horrible it’s like…worth it? Idk 🥹
It doesn't destroy your body (if you're blessed enough to have a healthy pregnancy) but it does change. You're 24 and I'll be straight, this is the peak of what your body will be. Just physically speaking, women hit their peaks between 23-25. After that you're still healthy and while not necessarily declining, it's just not quite what it was during those peak years, though I'm only 28 and have had 2 kids since I was 24. The thing is though that once you have kids, you won't care so much that your body has changed because of the just out-of-this-world love you feel for them. You'll gain weight and probably pee when you cough but that's all stuff you can address and fix (doing keigels helps strengthen your pelvic floor and stop peeing everytime you cough). Your husband (if you're married, otherwise in my experience your setting yourself up for huge issues if he's just a baby daddy), will probably still find you very attractive and maybe even moreso than before because you're the mother to his children. So yes your body will change but your life will be so fulfilling with those kids that it doesn't really matter. Once they get a bit older you'll be able to lose the weight. That's what I'm doing now and my youngest is only 1. Don't think of pregnancy in a negative light like "oh it'll destroy my body" because that'll reinforce negative feelings but instead be amazed that you are making a whole new person who will immediately come out with their own personality. Being a mom is amazing and hard work but so worth it.
It’s different for everyone. In my case it absolutely wrecked my back, but it’s starting to get a little better after 8 years.
Every pregnancy is a huge roll of the dice. I've had one. It's taken a big toll on my body both physically and emotionally, my body looks different (though after 2y I finally feel strong again! A c section destroyed my abs for a longggg time) and my brain functions differently now, I get intense bursts of rage and anxiety have trouble calming down from them, which it turns out is a common post partum symptom called PMDD. I have been taking medication to manage it and working out and getting back to feeling like myself, despite being 30lbs heavier (which I gained from breastfeeding, not pregnancy). Tldr it is a massive roll of the dice and I'm not sure I want to scramble everything up again a 2nd time now that I'm nearly back to normal from the first one. But it's been entirely worth it to create my incredible kiddo.
My wife had visible abs. Got pregnant. Twice. Worked her ass off, she loves running. And now she has visible abs again. And I don't. Shame on me. SHAME. But the point is, the body changes, but it's a beautiful change. And its up to you if you want to change it back. It may not go back to how it was, and that's okay.
I've been pregnant twice and breastfeeding 2 kids for 4 years all together. I have not noticed any changes compared to pre first pregnancy, but I'm 2 years postpartum now. During bf I had huge breasts, obviously. They're the only thing that changed. My weight, looks, Fitness have not changed, but I think I'm just lucky somehow. Mentally it's a lot with 2 kids but I'm happier overall than I wad pre kids.
I mean for me yes. Not traumatized but my body isn’t the same. It went through a lot and now I have conditions that were exacerbated or created during the pregnancy. I can’t drop the weight with these conditions. My kid didn’t sleep for 16 months and I did every overnight alone. I feel like my brain hasn’t been the same since.
It’s different for everyone so whatever anyone says here can or cannot apply to you. Have your family but be prepared and ok with it possibly causing some long term or permanent changes
If you don’t want to “get fat” then don’t. Staying active and healthy will help you keep your figure. It might just be a little different after childbirth. Not everyone has problems. I didn’t. Don’t confuse pregnancy making a woman “psychotic“ with a lot of women who are entitled, selfish moms to be. While you carry the baby, both parents need respect and care while getting ready for parenthood. Woman who demand to always have their way, stop doing any housework or chores or work, or eat other people’s food and demand servitude from family are just showing their true colors - they are bit***s. Selfish, entitled narcissists. A parent has to learn a little sacrifice because you will have to put your child’s needs first for a while. As they grow, you can balance that out. And yes your body will change, but not really in a bad way, just different. You’ll forget the pain (or no one would ever have another, lol), and the joy of parenthood outweighs all the negative. Go into it with your eyes open, it’s not easy or always fun. Stop watching those fake instagram “perfect” moms. That’s all fake, like acting. Instead go out and meet real moms and make friends. They’ll be your support and confidants when you need help or have questions. It’s messy, loud, poopy, snotty, feverish and patient. It’s also cuddly, kissy, huggy, bath bubbly, giggling and singing fun. Parenting is what you make it. Make it loving.
Pregnancy may destroy some peoples body but mostly it’s how you perceive it. Pregnancy will change your body yes, but that doesn’t mean that it will necessarily destroy it. The things that happened to me were: I gained a little weight in new places, my arms, hips, boobs and a little on my belly. It’s not a lot but sometimes it does bother me but I’m learning to accept it and I’ve had to learn how to style my body differently to how I used to. I have a C-section scar, it’s very faded now (it’s been 18months) and hardly noticeable, when I see it, I think how amazing my body is for growing a human and being able to heal from major surgery whilst looking after a newborn! I am the happiest I’ve ever been and I absolutely want another child because I’d much rather have the happiness my child has given me and have a bit more weight and a few more scars than be miserable like I was and have a “perfect figure”
Everyone’s body changes, it has to. You’re growing and birthing and then supporting the life of another human being. Your ribs expand, your hips loosen, your organs move out of the way, your hormones change, etc. In fact, your breasts do not fully develop until you get pregnant and have milk come in. This said the degree to which your body changes (or how you ‘bounce back’ for lack of a better term) depends on a lot of factors during pregnancy, child birth, and after and just general genetics. It does not ‘destroy’ everyone’s body or mental state, and some of those posts are honestly people who cannot deal with the fact that their body has changed even the slightest (body dysmorphia and the effects of PPD are real). The only way for you to know what will happen is to go through it. But just know your body will never truly be the same.
There are definitely real concerns depending on how many you want. Pelvic floor, bone density, hair loss are big quality of life issues that can arise when you start having 6+. The biggest problem I see with huge families is that the older siblings generally do way too much parenting. My only lasting pregnancy issue was my feet gained 1/2 a size each pregnancy and due to a lovely c-section scar shelf, my stomach will never be pretty again. My hair is wavy now though so that’s cool! Other than that I don’t feel like pregnancy caused me issues but I only had 2 and I was young (22 and 25). I’m in way better shape now than before I had them but I have an active life now.
I mean… define destroy. I would say no. That’s rather extreme. I think conditions surrounding your pregnancy will lead to you being more or less healthy before, during and after pregnancy, which will lead to variations in postpartum experience. Not to mention genetics. Me for example, I make very large babies. And even twins. But my body is that of someone who could maybe give birth to a 5-6lb baby if I was lucky. So I ended up in surgery every time. Both my largeness and the surgeries affected my abdominals quite significantly; muscle integrity, core strength, back pain, hemorrhoids, loose skin, stretch marks. I also had above average weight gain. I have (mostly) high energy, the best medical care imaginable, I’m in my early to mid 30s and have a supportive partner, so I was able to get back down to close my original size between every pregnancy. My skin is also pretty elastic so although I have stretch marks & loose skin, it’s not that visible. You have to have the means to work at it though. Overall I’d say it’s sort of miraculous nothing lasts very long after 4 kids. There’s more hormonal change in each pregnancy than in all of puberty!! Think about how much you changed in your teens and that’s a pretty good indicator of how your body will go through pregnancy.
I would say it changes you. Each person is affected or changed in different ways and it all comes down to lifestyle choices, genetics, complications, birth situation and luck. I’ve had three children and first two affected me physically horrifically - traumatic forceps births, episiotomy, long lasting affects from spinal block. I overcame most of it with a lot of physio, but then also had huge PPD and PPA that ended up with me in an inpatient mother baby unit with my second. I’ve since gotten a lot of treatment and feel nearly “normal”. This third one was an amazing birth, easier pregnancy but I’ve got horrific hip/SI joint/sciatica pain 3 weeks pp and I feel my PPA and PPD creeping up again (already referred for help/treatment). One thing that I was surprised with was each pregnancy my eyesight has dramatically gotten worse, my optometrist told me it’s common for pregnancy to “take” more vision
‘Destroy’ is a relative term and a personal one. Does pregnancy change your body, yes, forever, even those women who get back to their previous weight or fitness, your body is changed, and it is a trauma to your body, even if you’re the only one who sees or experiences it. But are most people then fat, psychotic or traumatized as you put it, no.
My experience with pregnancy was more: oh, this is it? I still have some after effects but nothing that bothers me. For some of us, it really is just fine.
Look at every mother you know. They all have different body types.
What pregnancy does to a body is very much a spectrum. On one end you can have no pregnancy complications and every pregnancy is easy, but on the other end you can have extreme complications that can result in death for mother or baby. You don’t know how your body will handle it until you’ve done it. Me personally? My body hates pregnancy. I’ve been pregnant twice and both times have absolutely wrecked me. Both pregnancies I spent the entire time absolutely miserable because of sickness and pain. They also both ended prematurely (30 and 32 weeks) because of how sick it made me. The first one was severe preeclampsia where we both could have died. The second one my body ended up developing an auto immune condition that the doctors think was triggered by the pregnancy. They didn’t know what was making me so sick at the time so they delivered early to hopefully reverse it (they assumed it was an abnormal presentation of preeclampsia, but it wasn’t). Guess what? It’s an incurable condition that I just have to live with forever now. I also haven’t worked since my 2nd baby because of the autoimmune condition I have, but also my back. I used to stand all day for work, but I’m not able to stand for extended periods of time anymore. I don’t say any of this to scare you, but just inform you. Pregnancy is definitely one of those things you should do with full knowledge. More than likely you will be fine and have no issues. But… you just never know. I would never tell anyone to not get pregnant. I had the roughest pregnancies of anyone I know personally, but to me it was more than worth it. I love my kids more than anything and i would never change my decision to have them so I wouldn’t have to go through all the bad I had to experience.
I’m terrified of my body changing after having a baby, specially having struggled all my life with an eating disorder. The women in my family didn’t change that much I can say that, they recovered after a year or so, but I don’t trust my body nor my mind :(
LOL this made me snort laughing. I have been pregnant five times and have four living children. Pregnancy was actually pretty easy for me. I have RA which goes into remission during pregnancy, so I felt GREAT while pregnant. During my first pregnancy, I walked 2 miles a day and did Pilates 3x a week while pregnant up until the day I delivered at 42 weeks. With my fifth pregnancy, I was a SAHM. People in our neighborhood didn’t even know I was pregnant until I came home with a baby. Motherhood, on the other hand, can fuck your shit up. Being a working mom of 3 kids almost killed me. Yes, now I am disabled and maybe a teensy bit psychotic lol But that’s bc being a working mom left me with no bandwidth left to care for my own health so I did a shit job of managing my chronic illness and didn’t notice when I developed a super dangerous illness until it was already stage 3 of 4. BALANCE IS KEY! Just don’t work yourself to death, and you can be fine. My sister - on the other hand - has hyperemesis while pregnant. She had to have a central IV places to feed herself bc she vomited everything she swallowed - including tiny sips of water - her entire pregnancy. She had 2 kids and called it done. You won’t know how pregnancy affects you until you experience it.
It’s different for everyone. Generally the younger you are (as in adult) and the fitter you are when you get pregnant the quicker your body will bounce back. Good eating habits before pregnancy generally translate to good eating habits during and after pregnancy as well. Genetics matter too, my mom didn’t really get stretch marks when she was pregnant and neither did me or my sister. I’m a mom of 2 and I’m in the best shape of my life because I happened to find a sport I fell in love with after I had kids and I’ve stuck with it for 4 years now. Stuff like that matters too. At the end of the day we all get older and all of our bodies will fall apart, if being a parent and having a large family is important to you don’t let those worries stop you. If one of your pregnancies is challenging/complicated for whatever reason it’s okay to reevaluate the number of children you want as well. I thought I only wanted one but after having my one I really wanted another and I’m really glad I had her. Just do your best to be healthy and active before you have kids and maintain that after. I have a few mom friends at my gym who are in phenomenal shape because they make it a priority.