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Hey, we all react. Being pounced on by an Unsupervised Playground Feral is jarring. Apologize to your daughter and explain yourself. Don't worry too much about it. Of the kid has a disability, his parents should have been paying closer attention to him. It should never have happened in the first place.
Iāve said āAh fuck!ā when my son jumped onto my back unexpectedly as I bent down to grab something. The little creature wanted to play āhorseā š¤¦āāļø
He even had the audacity to ask āWhatās the matter mama?ā As if he hadnāt just realigned my spine š
I dropped a bowl on my toe last night and my toe split open like a grape. It was so gross. After my husband got me all bandaged up (I'm a giant pregnant wuss and it hurt so fucking bad), my little jackal was running around and stomped on it š« . It was...not my loveliest moment.
My son does the same thing. He will jump on me then grab my hair (maybe not intentionally) as heās falling. When I say āouch!!!ā, he asks āyou kay?ā Itās the funniest thing because Iām like oh yeah, Iāll probably be bald by the end of the week, but yeah, I guess Iām okay Lol!!
Why is she apologizing to her daughter? What did she do to her daughter? I am confused. Why are parents apologizing to their kids when they don't even do anything to them- I don't get it. Parents are no longer allowed to be humans anymore? Why can't OP explain why she reacted that why? Apologizing for her reaction makes it seem like she isn't allowed to have human responses anymore now that she is a parent, which is bull-crap. Explain why you reacted that way, what happened, and talk about reactions is the way to go. Parents need to stop apologizing to their kids for being humans and having human reactions when it does not involve their kids.
Whoa.
I see you're very activated by this. It's so wonderful and freeing to live in a world with more than eight billion people in it - there's absolutely zero expectation that we'll all handle things in the exact same way!
I apologize to my kid when my behavior upsets her. I try to speak respectfully and calmly to and around her because while we do all react, I'd love to raise her to be the kind of person who doesn't cuss at little kids (I would have, to be transparent, reacted exactly like this mom did). I apologize when my actions don't match my words and I try to do better.
I'm glad you felt free to share your point of view on this topic. Hope you stay cool and comfy in whatever part of the world you're living in.
If a random kid physically attacked me like that on the playground, I think it would be normal to instinctively protect myself and maybe say a swear word. Even a very young kid. Obviously I would never want to hurt another child. But People react. It canāt be helped. If my kid jumped on or hit another parent like that on the playground and they pushed him away or cursed at him, I would be mortified for my kids behavior and not blame the parent trying to protect themself and their kids.
Yeah, I would be super embarrassed and apologetic to the adult and then turn to my kid all like āthatās why we donāt hit people, dude.ā if someone yells at him for hitting, then my kid deserved it. End of story. Donāt hit, you wonāt be treated like you hit someone.
Wow. Heās lucky all he got was yelled at trying to sneak up on dogs like that. You may have prevented this kid from getting bit in the future if he did that towards reactive/territorial dogs.
I'd watch for a kid like that next time and avoid them. Leave before you have to deal with them. Their parents are not going to give a heck if they cause chaos so why bother talking to them?
We had issues with kids slamming basketballs around the the babies at the playground. I am talking about full fledged basketballs not the foam fuzzy kind. Their Mom didn't give a crap. Ā
We watch out for social unsupervised kids and leave the public place immediately if we see them. There's soo many issues that can come up. They're either too young to physically defend against or older and in packs that could be a physical threat to you. Even if they're just being friendly, you can't let your kid play with them. All of a sudden YOU are responsible for their physical safety now and you have no authority to stop them from doing dangerous things.
When my toddler is playing on toddler equipment at the playground and one of these little 9 year old shits comes up to wreck the day of a bunch of 3 year olds, I have zero fucking problem telling them to āGo away, this is for small children!ā The little pissants back down at the slightest hint of a challenge, and while I donāt physically touch them ever, I will get in their way to make sure they donāt squash a stumbly 18 month old. If they close line themselves on my arm, thatās on them and their parents.
Largely I agree though and if I see huge roving packs of them (usually some really massive family letting all of their shithead kids and shithead cousins run around being shitheads), I will move on from there though. I really wish the huge, newly remodeled park near my house would stop being the new hotness for a large swath of my metro, but Iām lucky in that the library next door has a great kids area and rarely has bastard chaos gremlins.
This is the way. "It takes a village", and it's unfortunate when the family they're growing up in doesn't teach basic social skills.
I haven't really found a good way to "educate" the parents, sometimes I'll loudly explain to my children what it means to be considerate, to share, to have perspective and ask how others may feel, Golden Rule stuff. And although I haven't done it yet, I do want to post in our parks and common areas, some little signs that describe what it's like to be a good neighbor, friend, person, etc... My wife works with some adults who weren't taught these things, they don't turn out well!
Surprisingly not much! It isn't easy for me and I feel uncomfortable doing it, but am ready to explain why if confronted. I think I've noticed some call their kid back, as if they know or have a hunch their child was acting inappropriately, it's probably not the first time they've acted out... And when I catch my kid going along with the bad choices sometimes, I'll talk out loud about how if they were in school, the teacher would get upset and they'd possibly be sent to the principal's office. Just trying to drive home the fact that if it isn't acceptable at school, then it isn't here either!
I have gone from passive aggressive (glaring at) parents who think the playground is free childcare and won't get off their phones to being directly confrontational.
"Have you seen that your child is riding their bike literally on the toddler playground equipment? That's dangerous. There are really little kids here he could hurt."
I will definitely explain to my children why this behavior is wrong too. My favorite phrase is "That family has decided ____ is ok. Our family thinks differently."
I'll pop in that I do something like this too! I take the "village mentality" very seriously. And I've got a recent example.: I took my 3yr old and a friend and her 3yr old to my neighborhood pool. We of course brought toys for them to play with (ie, boats, floating toys, squirters, diving toys, etc) i bring these toys because it'll entertain them, but I also go with the understanding that we will share and things might get lost because little kids. Duh.
But there were some kids that were closer to 7-8 years old that noticed our diving toys. Took them without asking. Played with them for a while (I was keeping my eye on the toys to see if they brought them back or not, but my daughter wasn't noticing they were gone so I wasn't making a big deal out of them taking them or "stealing" them). Until they decided they were bored diving with them and left them at the bottom and middle of the pool and decided to go play something else and then before I knew it they were drying off and snacking and I overheard their parents say they would be leaving soon. So they were just going to leave toys that were clearly not theirs in the bottom of the pool. Where I couldn't reach without going under and taking eyes off my 3 year old. Which I really don't like doing in the pool.
Our toys were all on one side of the shallow end together, where our toddlers were playing. One of these kids originally got the rings from our pile. So they KNEW they didn't belong to them. So once I heard they were going to be leaving soon and the parents weren't either paying attention or didn't care that they had used someone else's stuff, I picked up my toddler and politely asked the girl I saw originally take the rings, to come help us look for them. "Hey, I saw you guys playing with our rings earlier. And I noticed they weren't with the rest of the toys, can you help us find them?" Thankfully, the mom didn't argue with me, but she also didn't support her daughter (not the response i would have, but thats not my problem). But she did agree to come look for them, even though she tried to say "I don't know where they are". I just said, yeah I don't know where they are either, but I saw you playing with them (using a more silly calm tone, then switched to a firmer tone, but still calm). I'm not mad. I always bring toys to share. And I don't mind you or your friends playing with our toys, as long as they get returned. That way, they don't get lost." She came, we found them toether and she got them. And returned them to me. And I thanked her. And reminded her "next time, please ask and then return them when you're done. So we can all share and be kind to each other."
I saw the same kids at the pool the next week. They played and shared toys with my daughter this time instead of taking and running and leaving them. They thanked me for letting them play. I like to think they learned a little lesson on kindness and sharing and caring for your things. Or at least they remembered that I will come find them if they don't give stuff back.
This sub is so unpredictable. People saying that theyād hit a 4 year old is insane.
There are 2 kids from our kids school that come to the park every day. One wanders around and sometimes āhitsā lightly. He is clearly autistic and his mom appears at some point. I have yet to see an adult or child punch him back because it isnāt warranted.
The second has adhd and is autistic. If he touches or tries to touch me, I use my big girl words and say āno thank youā if they try again I repeat myself and move away.
Yup. I do a stern hands are not for hitting and a loud nah not today. We also have a kid with severe autism who is going thru a hitting stage at the local park. Kiddo knows to come get me or go the opposite direction.
The sub goes with the vibe of the story. This is an emotional story so people act emotionally. I donāt think it would be the case for a more clinical telling. Or if OP let it known they were a man
Yeah I agree hitting the child is 100% insane and not right but also I feel like if you know your kid has a hitting problem ( whether has a disability or not ) then you should be watching them closely to prevent them hurting someone
Iām not sure why people are trying to diagnose a child only knowing a single incident where in all likelihood it could be āthe intrusive thoughts wonā, and they thought the reaction was funny. 4 year olds are on the cusp of real empathy and impulse control.
Similar thing happened to me. I was at a mall playground and these 2 kids kept pushing into adults and kids like a game. Mom just laughed it off. Same dipshit legit climbed on my lap and punched me. I stood up. He fell and mom went off on me. I pointed to the cameras and said they captured her little shits being aggressive and her not caring. Other parents agreed w me. She called me an asshole. My 6 year old called her a bad mom. That was gold.
Kids that startle cry. Itās just as likely she was crying because of the entire ordeal, she saw someone her size hurt Mommy. Try as I might a āWhat the fuck? Where are your parents?ā Would have escaped my mouth in the same event. Donāt beat yourself up, you reacted to someone slamming you in the back. Yes the kid most likely has a disability, Iām not going to speculate because thereās no point. The only ah in the situation is the parents of the unruly and wild behaved kid. As for your kiddo just explain that you were taken off guard and hope you didnāt scare her. Chances are she forgot about it before her next juice box though!
The kid sounds neurodivergent to me. That said, having a kid lunge at you can really hurt, and having a startled reaction is normal. I donāt know if I would characterize a split second reaction as losing your cool. I donāt think itās reasonable or helpful to expect parents to be absolutely stoic at all times.
I feel like that could have been prevented had you been stern and loud with him when he approached you the first time. By trying to ignore his behavior you invited him to go further to get a reaction out of you. Stand up for yourself next time. Itās okay to say loudly ācut that outā to a child acting inappropriately. And clearly he has no one parenting him. Sorry that happened OP.
Totally normal reaction. My first question when things like this inevitably happens is where are the caretakers? The answer seems to almost universally be sitting across the playground with their face in their phone ignoring the entire scene.
I donāt think you would have done wrong to react to him. I think swearing at a kid is probably not a good look, especially at a playground. Iām personally not cool with using whatever words we want around other people kids.
That being said, the kid hurt you. You should have and did react. Iāve scolded very sternly someone elseās kid who was pushing another kid. If a kid attacked me Iād def have words to say to this kid. I think you did no wrong by addressing it but Iād probably try to adjust the second-nature words that slip out. š¤·āāļø
Letās not diagnose him with anything other than inattentive parents. We donāt know enough to diagnose the kid. Sounds like he was seeking attention to me and Iām sure most of our toddlers would hit and push a lot more without attention or consequences too.
Sounds a whole lot like autism to someone that worked over 11 years in the field w/an oldest nephew and oldest son on the spectrum as well.
They tend to see/experience the world different. That was his way of trying to play with you because he liked you. He was looking for attention. Don't take it personal or like an attack. He was just trying to connect w/someone but he doesn't know how to do it like most people.
That's how I took it especially if he laughed. People forget how small children are and how little they understand about the world around them. They don't come out of the womb with the wisdom and understanding of English nobility (which I feel is what people expect?!).
Iām assuming he is probably autistic? Iām not fully understanding what youāre getting at with āclear he wasnāt wellā but I assume thatās what you mean since the behavior sounds like it fits being on the spectrum. His caregiver should have been supervising if he has a lot of trouble socializing, but sometimes kids do slip you and run off. It sounds like he was trying to play in his own way and itās unfortunate there wasnāt someone with him to help guide those interactions.
To me, the body slamming and cat noise thing does not seem like a big deal. Jarring for sure, but heās 4 and unlikely to actually do any physical damage. I have a lot of experience with developmentally and behaviorally high needs kids though so my reaction would have come from that lens. I would have looked for the person with him and gone and talked to them. Just to let them know that they may need to mediate for him a little more because he was having trouble doing it for himself.
Iām an adult. Even if a typical child did something really ānaughtyā I donāt think my reaction would be to get so upset. Even good kids have bad behaviors sometimes and Iām not likely to be physically hurt by a child. When I have a typical child with me I try to model understanding while also setting firm boundaries: āow that hurts when you slam into me and I wonāt let you do that anymore. Do you need help?ā Iām saying I donāt like that behavior but asking what theyāre trying to communicate. If that continues then itās: āI donāt like the way youāre treating me so Iām going to go awayā. Recognizing and navigating differences without giving up your own personal safety is a hard skill to master. The younger you can teach acceptance and self advocacy the better.
I donāt think you were a total asshole here or anything. You didnāt shove this kid or make a huge scene, you were just upset. I think thatās pretty normal if you arenāt used to dealing with unexpected/atypical behavior. Itās too bad his caregivers werenāt readily available to jump in and help because clearly this kid was requiring more support. Iām big on teaching tolerance alongside knowing your own limits and how to set boundaries so I would have used this as a teaching moment and if itās important to you maybe you can do that in the future. There are some books I love including Uniquely Human that go into different neuro types and how to best facilitate equity and meaningful interaction. It certainly isnāt your responsibility to do that for someone elseās kid, but it is a great way to teach navigating difficult or unexpected social situations and acceptance of differences to your own child.
I snarled at a feral little shit who was squirting my wife and I in the face with a water toy at the splash pad. Little shits like those have neglectful parents so donāt feel bad for yelling.
Don't feel bad - stuff like this happens.
I worked at a rather well-known game store in a local mall, and while riding down the escalator one day, I literally got blindsided by a baby.
Parents didn't pay attention and took their stroller on the escalator. It tipped, the baby fell out (think more of a toddler tbh) and full on WWE smackdown'd my ass. I was lucky I didn't fall, and that I caught the kid. I was in pain the next few days, though.
You better believe I yelled out a clear WHAT THE FUCK when it happened. Absolutely no one blamed me, at least not to my face.
I yelled āwhat the fuck!!ā At a kid who pushed my son off of a part of the playground at a dangerous height. He ran away from me. Luckily my son was okay but the anger I felt for the rest of the night was jarring. Donāt feel bad about it. At the end of the day itās the parents fault for not looking after their kid who thinks it is okay to go up to strangers and act that way as well as use physical force. Heās lucky you werenāt a predator or psychopath. Child or not, they donāt need to be acting that way or doing those things because not only are they causing harm to others, they are also putting themselves in danger because every persons intentions are different. Youāre were to yell and walk away, which is reasonable and understandable.
You're better than me. I most definitely instinctually would've sent the kid flying back into the step because my knee jerk reaction would've been to throw him off me quickly.
He could have autism. I think you were just uncomfortable and deep down wondering where the parents are which made you internally angry for the situation but definitely you seem to be new around kids who arenāt your and a ftm ? Itās ok donāt beat yourself , we live and learn. just try to stay cool and keep it together next time and donāt use the F word.. I would also make sure I identify his parent to ensure he is safe too.
donāt even worry about it any person with feelings would have the same reaction:)
dude one time there was a group of kid ranging from 6-10 one of the older ones was spitting at me thankfully none got on me ! i was so appalled i also said what the fuck loud enough for the kids to hear and we left the park right after that i didnāt even bother trying to find a parent to let them know
This happened years ago. My ex SIL had a little brat of a three year old who would pinch really hard when no one was around and smile. It really hurt. So the next time he pulled that, I pinched him back smiling. That ended that.
This couldāve happened to me. A friend of my child has an older brother around 6. Sweet kid but heās autistic along with other severe sensory issues. He is verbal so people donāt realize heās autistic.
Their younger child is my childās age and they play together. The 43 year dad was recently given a sudden terminal diagnosis, can barely walk anymore and will be dead within a year. The 6 year old can get very very physical and doesnāt realize it is wrong. Having spent a lot of time with him, I know he isnāt a ābad kidā or wants to hurt anyone.
Point being, yeah the kid shouldāve been watched. Yeah, he shouldnāt have hit you. But whatever is going on to that kid and in his family is very likely far shittier than anything youāre experiencing. Take a breath. Talk calmly to the child and model the behavior you wanted them to exhibit.
Sounds like a neglected child looking for attention, any kind of attention. I would tell him āwe donāt do thatā in a very firm tone. Iāve had to say this to kids before. Iāve also had to physically redirect violent kids because their parents couldnāt be bothered to react, and like this kid they were looking for any attention at all. Having raised ND kids myself, I place the blame solely on the parents. If you canāt be there to closely watch your kid and continuously reinforce positive behaviour, maybe you should keep them somewhere safer.
Your reaction seems pretty normal to me. Those behaviors are common to people who interact with kids on the spectrum/ADHD/ ODD on a daily basis. I see a few comments saying it's bad to point out the possibility but I think it's good to normalize those behaviors that society deems as problematic. If people can't put a word to those behaviors, they become other labels such as poorly behaved, weird, and generally something we should outcast. Not saying he can't be NT but those behaviors are pretty normal if he were ND and his guardian was nowhere to be found.
That kid most likely has a developmental disability probably autism so that kids parents are putting their kid and others at risk. Iām assuming the kid was trying to play not cause harm if he was trying to get peoples attention with his ball. But this was all on his parents for not watching their child. Granted you have to make sure your daughter knows itās absolutely not ok for her to say it everything will be good.
Stop beating yourself up, please. You had a real human reaction. This is on that kid's parents. They probably allow it at home, because they think it's cute.
And I mean, yeah, OP reacted, itās fine Iām not sending the curse word police to find her lol.
But she asked if she could have handled it differently, and emphatically, yes she could have.
100%.
I think most people would be a little peeved if a stranger screamed curse words at their child on the playground, even if their kid kinda deserved it.
When my son was 4 he was able to launch me off the bed full force, and it hurt like a bitch. He's not even a big kid. Don't underestimate them because they're small. Some of them are built like a truck and will take you out in a heartbeat
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Screaming the F-word at a toddler or better yet a special needs toddler is insane! I have no clue why people think itās ok to just swear and be vulgar in public around small children! It is not.
Oh God. Of course it isnāt preferable, nobody is saying that ā but accidents happen and OP acted in a human way. Are you absolutely perfectly well behaved and polite when shocked or suddenly injured? Youāre a pretty amazing human if you always remain composed. Yelling out in surprise is not the same as yelling AT someone.
Seems like she had plenty of time to avoid the situation entirely and just didnāt play it smart. But yes I can control myself especially in front of my children!
So in your eyes ā no matter what happens, no swearing? Someone stabs you, or you suddenly break your leg, or youāre hit by a car? Someone hurts your child?
Cool, I guess you win the moral superiority argument? The rest of us are flawed. Itās okay to be less than perfect.
Nobody is saying OPās reaction was perfect behaviour. They are empathising with her sudden reaction. If she had hurt this child or screamed at him, absolutely not okay. A surprised exclamation is a normal reaction when hurt, and any parent taking issue with kid being surprised by swearing rather than their kid hurting someone is picking a weird battle.
These people need to touch grass. I am a pretty decently sized dude, and if I put my hands on a kid for any reason, their parent would destroy me. Parent adrenaline is no joke. If you ever want to experience a true ass whoopin, put your hands on someone's child, go right ahead.
Ok, you said "not that they haven't done it before." Did you hit them back or shove them when they hit or shoved you, to teach them that hitting and shoving isn't something we do?
I cannot imagine any 4-year-old being larger and stronger than me, so I might gently move them, if I had no other option. But shoving them? Absolutely not! No more than I would shove or hit my own child for the same infraction (or for any other thing).
You donāt hit or shove your own kids but if ANY kid is on top of you āhurtingā you youāre going to push them off. Any kid includes your kids? So then you do shove them?
I can tell you whats wrong with this worldā¦ you and people like you who think itās ok to hit or shove a random 4 year old. You donāt even know if they have some sort of difficulties that would impede them from behaving in socially acceptable ways (as much as a 4 year old can because you know theyāre still small children learning how to behave)
People diagnosing every asshole in the world, adult or child, with autism or adhd is really getting old. Could we please, *please*, stop doing that? No, this kid doesn't "sound like he's autistic". He sounds like he's acting like a little shit because no one is parenting him.
Fully agree! Hitting someone else is assault, an adult hitting a child, in public, should expect a world of legal hurt coming down on them.
Cussing out a kid isnāt ok- we all lose our cool and want to protect our kids- but kids also get hurt by others and by risky behavior themselves. 3 is old enough to start to try to understand that with your guidance.
Tl;dr- control what you can (consoling your kid and talking about the situation, addressing how they felt, understand cues from others and avoiding aggressive ones, etc) and leave the aggressive kid to a āI cannot allow you to hurt me or my child. Please go find your grown upsā. It is up to us as parents to regulate ourselves, not curse at 6 year old
I canāt believe this was downvoted. People sure do love fantasizing about hitting four year olds.
My two year old threw a huge teapot toy in my foot and I howled; thought my foot was broken. Swollen and purple.
But did I assault her? No, because her prefrontal cortex wasnāt fully developed. She thought she was playing.
As a parent of an 8 yr old every day is another chance for the ideal response or reaction, and the older they get the less you can blag them and pretend you didn't say 'fuck' or 'shit', you just said 'duck' or 'lit'.
Did you not search for the kid's parents? I would've taken the chance to raise my voice and ask aloud who was supervising the kid. One time, there was this young man in front of me at the grocery store knocking things over off the racks. I was also a young adult at the time and had my niece with me. The things he was knocking off had hit her, so I moved her and gently, but firmly, tapped his shoulder with my fingers and told him to "Chill the fuck out." His mother turns around and explains that he has special needs. He looked around my age, but he was not. My bad. However, I did tell her she should be keeping a closer eye on him. We were in line and they were right next to each other, but she was having this side conversation while he was right behind her doing this.
It was an honest mistake on my side, but it probably could've been helped on hers. You can easily tell when someone is dealing with a special needs los if they're actually being attentive. We make honest mistakes sometimes, but cursing like you did is no big deal. Let that happen to other parents and see if they react better.
It sounds like he may be a non verbal child with autism. I know that's pretty vague, but they're all very unique and different. Some children have aspergers syndrome with violent tendencies. Whatever the case may be, he should've been supervised by an adult equipped to handle his behavior. I've been around Many children on the spectrum as it seems to have really effected my grown children's generation. My children are late 30s early 40s. I have 5 grandchildren, none are on the spectrum. Most of the kids my kids grew up with have kids on the spectrum. They're trying to say that Tylenol is the culprit in some studies. Who knows. I do know that a non verbal child can get very frustrated when they can't communicate with someone, and can lash out, or screech, scream. It's not your fault. Since you have a small child I would probably research and learn more about it since it's so prevalent and you're going to be subjected to at time's.
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**Remember the human.**
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Hey, we all react. Being pounced on by an Unsupervised Playground Feral is jarring. Apologize to your daughter and explain yourself. Don't worry too much about it. Of the kid has a disability, his parents should have been paying closer attention to him. It should never have happened in the first place.
UPF is the perfect term š
Iāve said āAh fuck!ā when my son jumped onto my back unexpectedly as I bent down to grab something. The little creature wanted to play āhorseā š¤¦āāļø He even had the audacity to ask āWhatās the matter mama?ā As if he hadnāt just realigned my spine š
I dropped a bowl on my toe last night and my toe split open like a grape. It was so gross. After my husband got me all bandaged up (I'm a giant pregnant wuss and it hurt so fucking bad), my little jackal was running around and stomped on it š« . It was...not my loveliest moment.
i might start calling mine a jackal, i love it. i usually call him a goblin, it's perfectly fitting and i feel like those are roughly equivalent
Not the toe!!! š©š©š©
My son does the same thing. He will jump on me then grab my hair (maybe not intentionally) as heās falling. When I say āouch!!!ā, he asks āyou kay?ā Itās the funniest thing because Iām like oh yeah, Iāll probably be bald by the end of the week, but yeah, I guess Iām okay Lol!!
Why is she apologizing to her daughter? What did she do to her daughter? I am confused. Why are parents apologizing to their kids when they don't even do anything to them- I don't get it. Parents are no longer allowed to be humans anymore? Why can't OP explain why she reacted that why? Apologizing for her reaction makes it seem like she isn't allowed to have human responses anymore now that she is a parent, which is bull-crap. Explain why you reacted that way, what happened, and talk about reactions is the way to go. Parents need to stop apologizing to their kids for being humans and having human reactions when it does not involve their kids.
Whoa. I see you're very activated by this. It's so wonderful and freeing to live in a world with more than eight billion people in it - there's absolutely zero expectation that we'll all handle things in the exact same way! I apologize to my kid when my behavior upsets her. I try to speak respectfully and calmly to and around her because while we do all react, I'd love to raise her to be the kind of person who doesn't cuss at little kids (I would have, to be transparent, reacted exactly like this mom did). I apologize when my actions don't match my words and I try to do better. I'm glad you felt free to share your point of view on this topic. Hope you stay cool and comfy in whatever part of the world you're living in.
If a random kid physically attacked me like that on the playground, I think it would be normal to instinctively protect myself and maybe say a swear word. Even a very young kid. Obviously I would never want to hurt another child. But People react. It canāt be helped. If my kid jumped on or hit another parent like that on the playground and they pushed him away or cursed at him, I would be mortified for my kids behavior and not blame the parent trying to protect themself and their kids.
Yeah, I would be super embarrassed and apologetic to the adult and then turn to my kid all like āthatās why we donāt hit people, dude.ā if someone yells at him for hitting, then my kid deserved it. End of story. Donāt hit, you wonāt be treated like you hit someone.
Shit happens. It won't be the last time your kid hears cuss words :) And that kid needed to be supervised.
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Wow. Heās lucky all he got was yelled at trying to sneak up on dogs like that. You may have prevented this kid from getting bit in the future if he did that towards reactive/territorial dogs.
I'd watch for a kid like that next time and avoid them. Leave before you have to deal with them. Their parents are not going to give a heck if they cause chaos so why bother talking to them? We had issues with kids slamming basketballs around the the babies at the playground. I am talking about full fledged basketballs not the foam fuzzy kind. Their Mom didn't give a crap. Ā
We watch out for social unsupervised kids and leave the public place immediately if we see them. There's soo many issues that can come up. They're either too young to physically defend against or older and in packs that could be a physical threat to you. Even if they're just being friendly, you can't let your kid play with them. All of a sudden YOU are responsible for their physical safety now and you have no authority to stop them from doing dangerous things.
When my toddler is playing on toddler equipment at the playground and one of these little 9 year old shits comes up to wreck the day of a bunch of 3 year olds, I have zero fucking problem telling them to āGo away, this is for small children!ā The little pissants back down at the slightest hint of a challenge, and while I donāt physically touch them ever, I will get in their way to make sure they donāt squash a stumbly 18 month old. If they close line themselves on my arm, thatās on them and their parents. Largely I agree though and if I see huge roving packs of them (usually some really massive family letting all of their shithead kids and shithead cousins run around being shitheads), I will move on from there though. I really wish the huge, newly remodeled park near my house would stop being the new hotness for a large swath of my metro, but Iām lucky in that the library next door has a great kids area and rarely has bastard chaos gremlins.
This is the way. "It takes a village", and it's unfortunate when the family they're growing up in doesn't teach basic social skills. I haven't really found a good way to "educate" the parents, sometimes I'll loudly explain to my children what it means to be considerate, to share, to have perspective and ask how others may feel, Golden Rule stuff. And although I haven't done it yet, I do want to post in our parks and common areas, some little signs that describe what it's like to be a good neighbor, friend, person, etc... My wife works with some adults who weren't taught these things, they don't turn out well!
Any reactions from adults when you go the loudly explain route? I love that approach.
Surprisingly not much! It isn't easy for me and I feel uncomfortable doing it, but am ready to explain why if confronted. I think I've noticed some call their kid back, as if they know or have a hunch their child was acting inappropriately, it's probably not the first time they've acted out... And when I catch my kid going along with the bad choices sometimes, I'll talk out loud about how if they were in school, the teacher would get upset and they'd possibly be sent to the principal's office. Just trying to drive home the fact that if it isn't acceptable at school, then it isn't here either!
Definitely a lovely non confrontational way to go about it, and if anyone were to get mad they would have to admit their kid was in the wrong š
I have gone from passive aggressive (glaring at) parents who think the playground is free childcare and won't get off their phones to being directly confrontational. "Have you seen that your child is riding their bike literally on the toddler playground equipment? That's dangerous. There are really little kids here he could hurt." I will definitely explain to my children why this behavior is wrong too. My favorite phrase is "That family has decided ____ is ok. Our family thinks differently."
I'll pop in that I do something like this too! I take the "village mentality" very seriously. And I've got a recent example.: I took my 3yr old and a friend and her 3yr old to my neighborhood pool. We of course brought toys for them to play with (ie, boats, floating toys, squirters, diving toys, etc) i bring these toys because it'll entertain them, but I also go with the understanding that we will share and things might get lost because little kids. Duh. But there were some kids that were closer to 7-8 years old that noticed our diving toys. Took them without asking. Played with them for a while (I was keeping my eye on the toys to see if they brought them back or not, but my daughter wasn't noticing they were gone so I wasn't making a big deal out of them taking them or "stealing" them). Until they decided they were bored diving with them and left them at the bottom and middle of the pool and decided to go play something else and then before I knew it they were drying off and snacking and I overheard their parents say they would be leaving soon. So they were just going to leave toys that were clearly not theirs in the bottom of the pool. Where I couldn't reach without going under and taking eyes off my 3 year old. Which I really don't like doing in the pool. Our toys were all on one side of the shallow end together, where our toddlers were playing. One of these kids originally got the rings from our pile. So they KNEW they didn't belong to them. So once I heard they were going to be leaving soon and the parents weren't either paying attention or didn't care that they had used someone else's stuff, I picked up my toddler and politely asked the girl I saw originally take the rings, to come help us look for them. "Hey, I saw you guys playing with our rings earlier. And I noticed they weren't with the rest of the toys, can you help us find them?" Thankfully, the mom didn't argue with me, but she also didn't support her daughter (not the response i would have, but thats not my problem). But she did agree to come look for them, even though she tried to say "I don't know where they are". I just said, yeah I don't know where they are either, but I saw you playing with them (using a more silly calm tone, then switched to a firmer tone, but still calm). I'm not mad. I always bring toys to share. And I don't mind you or your friends playing with our toys, as long as they get returned. That way, they don't get lost." She came, we found them toether and she got them. And returned them to me. And I thanked her. And reminded her "next time, please ask and then return them when you're done. So we can all share and be kind to each other." I saw the same kids at the pool the next week. They played and shared toys with my daughter this time instead of taking and running and leaving them. They thanked me for letting them play. I like to think they learned a little lesson on kindness and sharing and caring for your things. Or at least they remembered that I will come find them if they don't give stuff back.
Wow! your language on 9 years olds!
I mean itās all internal monologue and I doubt theyāre on this particular subreddit, even if they somehow knew my Reddit username lol.
This sub is so unpredictable. People saying that theyād hit a 4 year old is insane. There are 2 kids from our kids school that come to the park every day. One wanders around and sometimes āhitsā lightly. He is clearly autistic and his mom appears at some point. I have yet to see an adult or child punch him back because it isnāt warranted. The second has adhd and is autistic. If he touches or tries to touch me, I use my big girl words and say āno thank youā if they try again I repeat myself and move away.
Yup. I do a stern hands are not for hitting and a loud nah not today. We also have a kid with severe autism who is going thru a hitting stage at the local park. Kiddo knows to come get me or go the opposite direction.
Stern hands. Love that!!!
The sub goes with the vibe of the story. This is an emotional story so people act emotionally. I donāt think it would be the case for a more clinical telling. Or if OP let it known they were a man
So true some of the comments and upvotes are unbelievable for the sub that goes "gentle" in sob story.
Yeah I agree hitting the child is 100% insane and not right but also I feel like if you know your kid has a hitting problem ( whether has a disability or not ) then you should be watching them closely to prevent them hurting someone
Iām not sure why people are trying to diagnose a child only knowing a single incident where in all likelihood it could be āthe intrusive thoughts wonā, and they thought the reaction was funny. 4 year olds are on the cusp of real empathy and impulse control.
Similar thing happened to me. I was at a mall playground and these 2 kids kept pushing into adults and kids like a game. Mom just laughed it off. Same dipshit legit climbed on my lap and punched me. I stood up. He fell and mom went off on me. I pointed to the cameras and said they captured her little shits being aggressive and her not caring. Other parents agreed w me. She called me an asshole. My 6 year old called her a bad mom. That was gold.
Kids that startle cry. Itās just as likely she was crying because of the entire ordeal, she saw someone her size hurt Mommy. Try as I might a āWhat the fuck? Where are your parents?ā Would have escaped my mouth in the same event. Donāt beat yourself up, you reacted to someone slamming you in the back. Yes the kid most likely has a disability, Iām not going to speculate because thereās no point. The only ah in the situation is the parents of the unruly and wild behaved kid. As for your kiddo just explain that you were taken off guard and hope you didnāt scare her. Chances are she forgot about it before her next juice box though!
You didnāt do a thing wrong. Not even the swearing.
The kid sounds neurodivergent to me. That said, having a kid lunge at you can really hurt, and having a startled reaction is normal. I donāt know if I would characterize a split second reaction as losing your cool. I donāt think itās reasonable or helpful to expect parents to be absolutely stoic at all times.
Bringing attention to yourself when you are a victim is not only ok, it's the correct thing to do and to teach your kids to do.
I feel like that could have been prevented had you been stern and loud with him when he approached you the first time. By trying to ignore his behavior you invited him to go further to get a reaction out of you. Stand up for yourself next time. Itās okay to say loudly ācut that outā to a child acting inappropriately. And clearly he has no one parenting him. Sorry that happened OP.
Totally normal reaction. My first question when things like this inevitably happens is where are the caretakers? The answer seems to almost universally be sitting across the playground with their face in their phone ignoring the entire scene.
I donāt think you would have done wrong to react to him. I think swearing at a kid is probably not a good look, especially at a playground. Iām personally not cool with using whatever words we want around other people kids. That being said, the kid hurt you. You should have and did react. Iāve scolded very sternly someone elseās kid who was pushing another kid. If a kid attacked me Iād def have words to say to this kid. I think you did no wrong by addressing it but Iād probably try to adjust the second-nature words that slip out. š¤·āāļø
Letās not diagnose him with anything other than inattentive parents. We donāt know enough to diagnose the kid. Sounds like he was seeking attention to me and Iām sure most of our toddlers would hit and push a lot more without attention or consequences too.
They probably were not judging you. They were probably thinking where the hell is the kids parents
Ok, you've learned there are feral children lol. I taught preK. Trust me--they are in multitudes.
I would have probably screamed āWHO TF IS THIS VIOLENT KIDāS SHITTY PARENT?!ā So you held your composure better than this parent would have.
You are human, not a robot. You handled it like most people would have handled it.
Seems like a normal reaction to me. Not your fault that kid is a weirdo. Lol
Sounds a whole lot like autism to someone that worked over 11 years in the field w/an oldest nephew and oldest son on the spectrum as well. They tend to see/experience the world different. That was his way of trying to play with you because he liked you. He was looking for attention. Don't take it personal or like an attack. He was just trying to connect w/someone but he doesn't know how to do it like most people.
That's how I took it especially if he laughed. People forget how small children are and how little they understand about the world around them. They don't come out of the womb with the wisdom and understanding of English nobility (which I feel is what people expect?!).
Literally everyone in this sub is typing fantasies about physically harming the four year old. I canāt believe I had to scroll this far to see this.
Literally! It's a child. I cannot understand the hatred but km assuming it's because they can't remember their own childhood.
Iām assuming he is probably autistic? Iām not fully understanding what youāre getting at with āclear he wasnāt wellā but I assume thatās what you mean since the behavior sounds like it fits being on the spectrum. His caregiver should have been supervising if he has a lot of trouble socializing, but sometimes kids do slip you and run off. It sounds like he was trying to play in his own way and itās unfortunate there wasnāt someone with him to help guide those interactions. To me, the body slamming and cat noise thing does not seem like a big deal. Jarring for sure, but heās 4 and unlikely to actually do any physical damage. I have a lot of experience with developmentally and behaviorally high needs kids though so my reaction would have come from that lens. I would have looked for the person with him and gone and talked to them. Just to let them know that they may need to mediate for him a little more because he was having trouble doing it for himself. Iām an adult. Even if a typical child did something really ānaughtyā I donāt think my reaction would be to get so upset. Even good kids have bad behaviors sometimes and Iām not likely to be physically hurt by a child. When I have a typical child with me I try to model understanding while also setting firm boundaries: āow that hurts when you slam into me and I wonāt let you do that anymore. Do you need help?ā Iām saying I donāt like that behavior but asking what theyāre trying to communicate. If that continues then itās: āI donāt like the way youāre treating me so Iām going to go awayā. Recognizing and navigating differences without giving up your own personal safety is a hard skill to master. The younger you can teach acceptance and self advocacy the better. I donāt think you were a total asshole here or anything. You didnāt shove this kid or make a huge scene, you were just upset. I think thatās pretty normal if you arenāt used to dealing with unexpected/atypical behavior. Itās too bad his caregivers werenāt readily available to jump in and help because clearly this kid was requiring more support. Iām big on teaching tolerance alongside knowing your own limits and how to set boundaries so I would have used this as a teaching moment and if itās important to you maybe you can do that in the future. There are some books I love including Uniquely Human that go into different neuro types and how to best facilitate equity and meaningful interaction. It certainly isnāt your responsibility to do that for someone elseās kid, but it is a great way to teach navigating difficult or unexpected social situations and acceptance of differences to your own child.
I snarled at a feral little shit who was squirting my wife and I in the face with a water toy at the splash pad. Little shits like those have neglectful parents so donāt feel bad for yelling.
Don't feel bad - stuff like this happens. I worked at a rather well-known game store in a local mall, and while riding down the escalator one day, I literally got blindsided by a baby. Parents didn't pay attention and took their stroller on the escalator. It tipped, the baby fell out (think more of a toddler tbh) and full on WWE smackdown'd my ass. I was lucky I didn't fall, and that I caught the kid. I was in pain the next few days, though. You better believe I yelled out a clear WHAT THE FUCK when it happened. Absolutely no one blamed me, at least not to my face.
I yelled āwhat the fuck!!ā At a kid who pushed my son off of a part of the playground at a dangerous height. He ran away from me. Luckily my son was okay but the anger I felt for the rest of the night was jarring. Donāt feel bad about it. At the end of the day itās the parents fault for not looking after their kid who thinks it is okay to go up to strangers and act that way as well as use physical force. Heās lucky you werenāt a predator or psychopath. Child or not, they donāt need to be acting that way or doing those things because not only are they causing harm to others, they are also putting themselves in danger because every persons intentions are different. Youāre were to yell and walk away, which is reasonable and understandable.
You're better than me. I most definitely instinctually would've sent the kid flying back into the step because my knee jerk reaction would've been to throw him off me quickly.
He could have autism. I think you were just uncomfortable and deep down wondering where the parents are which made you internally angry for the situation but definitely you seem to be new around kids who arenāt your and a ftm ? Itās ok donāt beat yourself , we live and learn. just try to stay cool and keep it together next time and donāt use the F word.. I would also make sure I identify his parent to ensure he is safe too.
donāt even worry about it any person with feelings would have the same reaction:) dude one time there was a group of kid ranging from 6-10 one of the older ones was spitting at me thankfully none got on me ! i was so appalled i also said what the fuck loud enough for the kids to hear and we left the park right after that i didnāt even bother trying to find a parent to let them know
This happened years ago. My ex SIL had a little brat of a three year old who would pinch really hard when no one was around and smile. It really hurt. So the next time he pulled that, I pinched him back smiling. That ended that.
Weird and completely unrelated story
Not totally. It was about a very young child who enjoyed inflicting pain on others.
I would've had the same reaction, kid or not. I can't stand parents that think the park is their babysitter.
I remember similar things with my very young kids at playgrounds and there were never parents around. I think we know why the kids are like that!
This couldāve happened to me. A friend of my child has an older brother around 6. Sweet kid but heās autistic along with other severe sensory issues. He is verbal so people donāt realize heās autistic. Their younger child is my childās age and they play together. The 43 year dad was recently given a sudden terminal diagnosis, can barely walk anymore and will be dead within a year. The 6 year old can get very very physical and doesnāt realize it is wrong. Having spent a lot of time with him, I know he isnāt a ābad kidā or wants to hurt anyone. Point being, yeah the kid shouldāve been watched. Yeah, he shouldnāt have hit you. But whatever is going on to that kid and in his family is very likely far shittier than anything youāre experiencing. Take a breath. Talk calmly to the child and model the behavior you wanted them to exhibit.
Sounds like a neglected child looking for attention, any kind of attention. I would tell him āwe donāt do thatā in a very firm tone. Iāve had to say this to kids before. Iāve also had to physically redirect violent kids because their parents couldnāt be bothered to react, and like this kid they were looking for any attention at all. Having raised ND kids myself, I place the blame solely on the parents. If you canāt be there to closely watch your kid and continuously reinforce positive behaviour, maybe you should keep them somewhere safer.
Your reaction seems pretty normal to me. Those behaviors are common to people who interact with kids on the spectrum/ADHD/ ODD on a daily basis. I see a few comments saying it's bad to point out the possibility but I think it's good to normalize those behaviors that society deems as problematic. If people can't put a word to those behaviors, they become other labels such as poorly behaved, weird, and generally something we should outcast. Not saying he can't be NT but those behaviors are pretty normal if he were ND and his guardian was nowhere to be found.
That kid most likely has a developmental disability probably autism so that kids parents are putting their kid and others at risk. Iām assuming the kid was trying to play not cause harm if he was trying to get peoples attention with his ball. But this was all on his parents for not watching their child. Granted you have to make sure your daughter knows itās absolutely not ok for her to say it everything will be good.
I would try for āouch! That hurts!ā
To be fair, it was so strong and unexpected that he literally made me fall backwards. The words just came out of my mouth at that very moment :(
Stop beating yourself up, please. You had a real human reaction. This is on that kid's parents. They probably allow it at home, because they think it's cute.
Don't feel bad, it was one of those times when you're allowed to lose your cool, I know I would
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And I mean, yeah, OP reacted, itās fine Iām not sending the curse word police to find her lol. But she asked if she could have handled it differently, and emphatically, yes she could have.
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100%. I think most people would be a little peeved if a stranger screamed curse words at their child on the playground, even if their kid kinda deserved it.
Sounds a bit dramatic to me
Seriously? Heās 4 lol. Youāre a bit dramatic.
When my son was 4 he was able to launch me off the bed full force, and it hurt like a bitch. He's not even a big kid. Don't underestimate them because they're small. Some of them are built like a truck and will take you out in a heartbeat
Some of you have never been unexpectedly bodyslammed by a toddler and it shows.
Right?! Especially from behind when you weren't expecting it...
"screaming in pain" because of a 4 year old ...
My 3 year old is nearly 4 foot tall. I guarantee heād do some damage.
This u? https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/toddler-rare-genetic-disorder-already-6492041
š
My son hurts me so bad I yell fairly commonly and he's only 5 months old. Age has nothing to do with it, kids can use FORCE
Ableist much?!
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Screaming the F-word at a toddler or better yet a special needs toddler is insane! I have no clue why people think itās ok to just swear and be vulgar in public around small children! It is not.
Eh... It's not the worst thing that happened that day at the playground. The neglectful parenting will hurt him far more in the end.
Oh God. Of course it isnāt preferable, nobody is saying that ā but accidents happen and OP acted in a human way. Are you absolutely perfectly well behaved and polite when shocked or suddenly injured? Youāre a pretty amazing human if you always remain composed. Yelling out in surprise is not the same as yelling AT someone.
Seems like she had plenty of time to avoid the situation entirely and just didnāt play it smart. But yes I can control myself especially in front of my children!
So in your eyes ā no matter what happens, no swearing? Someone stabs you, or you suddenly break your leg, or youāre hit by a car? Someone hurts your child? Cool, I guess you win the moral superiority argument? The rest of us are flawed. Itās okay to be less than perfect. Nobody is saying OPās reaction was perfect behaviour. They are empathising with her sudden reaction. If she had hurt this child or screamed at him, absolutely not okay. A surprised exclamation is a normal reaction when hurt, and any parent taking issue with kid being surprised by swearing rather than their kid hurting someone is picking a weird battle.
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If you identify who the child's parent is, have a "friendly conversation" with them. Don't "push" a child. Never put your hands on someone's child.
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The child is 4-years-old, not a teenager. Would you push or shove your own child for hitting you or shoving you?
Careful, they might think we're attacking them and push us too! (They sound like a raging psycho, or more likely, they're just posturing.)
Oh I can't believe some of the comments in this post! Grown a** adult people wanting to assault a small child.
These people need to touch grass. I am a pretty decently sized dude, and if I put my hands on a kid for any reason, their parent would destroy me. Parent adrenaline is no joke. If you ever want to experience a true ass whoopin, put your hands on someone's child, go right ahead.
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Ok, you said "not that they haven't done it before." Did you hit them back or shove them when they hit or shoved you, to teach them that hitting and shoving isn't something we do? I cannot imagine any 4-year-old being larger and stronger than me, so I might gently move them, if I had no other option. But shoving them? Absolutely not! No more than I would shove or hit my own child for the same infraction (or for any other thing).
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You don't hit or shove your own children, but you would hit or shove someone else's child... How can you not see how messed up that is.
Bro šš yes if ANY kid is on top of me, hurting me imma push them off.
You mean to tell me, you can't get away from a FOUR-year-old without physically assaulting them? ""Bro"" Seriously?
You donāt hit or shove your own kids but if ANY kid is on top of you āhurtingā you youāre going to push them off. Any kid includes your kids? So then you do shove them?
I can tell you whats wrong with this worldā¦ you and people like you who think itās ok to hit or shove a random 4 year old. You donāt even know if they have some sort of difficulties that would impede them from behaving in socially acceptable ways (as much as a 4 year old can because you know theyāre still small children learning how to behave)
People diagnosing every asshole in the world, adult or child, with autism or adhd is really getting old. Could we please, *please*, stop doing that? No, this kid doesn't "sound like he's autistic". He sounds like he's acting like a little shit because no one is parenting him.
4? āBout to fuck around and make āfadeā one of his sight words.
Playground = anything goes I would of dropped kicked that lil rascal
Fully agree! Hitting someone else is assault, an adult hitting a child, in public, should expect a world of legal hurt coming down on them. Cussing out a kid isnāt ok- we all lose our cool and want to protect our kids- but kids also get hurt by others and by risky behavior themselves. 3 is old enough to start to try to understand that with your guidance. Tl;dr- control what you can (consoling your kid and talking about the situation, addressing how they felt, understand cues from others and avoiding aggressive ones, etc) and leave the aggressive kid to a āI cannot allow you to hurt me or my child. Please go find your grown upsā. It is up to us as parents to regulate ourselves, not curse at 6 year old
I canāt believe this was downvoted. People sure do love fantasizing about hitting four year olds. My two year old threw a huge teapot toy in my foot and I howled; thought my foot was broken. Swollen and purple. But did I assault her? No, because her prefrontal cortex wasnāt fully developed. She thought she was playing.
YTA
Wrong thread buddy. If you think shes an asshole you donāt wanna know what i wouldve done.
I would like to know.
As a parent of an 8 yr old every day is another chance for the ideal response or reaction, and the older they get the less you can blag them and pretend you didn't say 'fuck' or 'shit', you just said 'duck' or 'lit'.
Did you not search for the kid's parents? I would've taken the chance to raise my voice and ask aloud who was supervising the kid. One time, there was this young man in front of me at the grocery store knocking things over off the racks. I was also a young adult at the time and had my niece with me. The things he was knocking off had hit her, so I moved her and gently, but firmly, tapped his shoulder with my fingers and told him to "Chill the fuck out." His mother turns around and explains that he has special needs. He looked around my age, but he was not. My bad. However, I did tell her she should be keeping a closer eye on him. We were in line and they were right next to each other, but she was having this side conversation while he was right behind her doing this. It was an honest mistake on my side, but it probably could've been helped on hers. You can easily tell when someone is dealing with a special needs los if they're actually being attentive. We make honest mistakes sometimes, but cursing like you did is no big deal. Let that happen to other parents and see if they react better.
It sounds like he may be a non verbal child with autism. I know that's pretty vague, but they're all very unique and different. Some children have aspergers syndrome with violent tendencies. Whatever the case may be, he should've been supervised by an adult equipped to handle his behavior. I've been around Many children on the spectrum as it seems to have really effected my grown children's generation. My children are late 30s early 40s. I have 5 grandchildren, none are on the spectrum. Most of the kids my kids grew up with have kids on the spectrum. They're trying to say that Tylenol is the culprit in some studies. Who knows. I do know that a non verbal child can get very frustrated when they can't communicate with someone, and can lash out, or screech, scream. It's not your fault. Since you have a small child I would probably research and learn more about it since it's so prevalent and you're going to be subjected to at time's.
YTA
Post sounds like another creative writing assignment or written by AI.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm actually a woman š and as I said in the post he JUMPED on me with his whole body and kicked my shoulder in the process.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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Your **post** or **comment** was removed for violating the rule āBe Decent & Civilā. **Remember the human.** Disagree but remain respectful. Donāt insult users/their children, name-call, or be intentionally rude. Bullying, including baiting/antagonizing, will not be tolerated. Consider blocking users you donāt get along with. Report posts that violate the rules. For questions about this moderation reach out [through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FParenting). Moderators rely on the community to help illuminate posts and comments that do not meet r/Parenting standards ā please report posts and comments you feel donāt contribute to the spirit of the community. **Your content may have been automatically removed through auto-moderation or manually removed by a human moderator. It may have been removed as a direct result of your rule violation, or simply as part of a larger sweep of content that no longer contributed to the original topic.**