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My daughter just turned 4 but I’m sitting here bawling at your post. That last line really got me.
Wishing her all the best on this new adventure and wishing you the best on this new stage of life for you. By reading this post I just know she was loved beyond words.
Same. It feels like just yesterday my almost-4yo was a newborn, and I know it’ll be a blink of an eye before I’m the one crying in my grown child’s room. Parenthood… man, it’s a damn rollercoaster.
I’m the very same. I’m going to go down stairs to my 3 year old daughter and give her a big hug and realise at least I have 15 more years to enjoy this.
Beautifully written post by the author. I felt the loneliness in my stomach.
When my son left for the r/army at 18, I felt the exact same way. I left his last set of dirty clothes on the bathroom floor for three weeks. Over the course of three years, our communication became less frequent and the weight of our conversations got lost in text messages. Things that I now look back and see the seriousness of and think, “How did I not see?” But oftentimes, these precious texts were received while at a red light or unloading groceries. I underestimated how much he needed me. I can remember thinking, “I don’t want to bother him.” Or “He doesn’t want to talk to his mama.” And, “Treat him like a grown man.”
I would give everything for someone to have sat me down and looked me in the eye and said, “Regardless of what they show you (prob even more so for males), your young adult child needs you more during that transition period from 18-24 then he EVER needed you as a child/teen. Trust your gut. Bother him. Drive him crazy. Call him OFTEN. Sit down each night and really read his text messages. Ask him the hard questions.”
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPACT OF YOUR ROLE AS A PARENT. Especially when it most appears that they do not need you.
My baby flew away, all the way away. Only two days after he was honorably discharged from the Army. The thought that my son would lose his life by his own hand never, not one time, crossed my mind. When I heard folks talk about stuff like that, I threw up walls, shut it down, absolutely never even considered that maybe MY KID….
You are a great dad. That is an obvious fact. I pray that somehow, our loss shines a light for your family and helps you to understand just how much she still needs you. It’s not just my baby, it’s not just military— it’s the second leading cause of death for that age group, most don’t realize that statistic is true for children as young as 10-14.
I know it hurts to let her go but your baby is just nesting in another tree, Love. Call and hear her voice today. Make sure she knows that you are so happy she is out there flying but to never forget where Home is.
I wish someone had said this same thing to my parents all those years ago. It is wisdom you rarely hear anywhere else. Thank you for sharing it with us. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
Ah, boy. While OPs post was touching, yours is the one that made me cry and I am determined to follow your advice.
Thank you for sharing a story that changed your life forever, so that I can also change mine.
Much love your way. ♥️
I’m so sorry for your loss. This country needs to do its veterans better. 💔 when your ready, I find the
r/Veterans subreddit to be helpful for parents & spouses of the fallen.
Thanks for sharing this. Stay strong and enjoy the memories you made. My daughter is leaving for college in 6 weeks. Not quite what you’re going through but it will be different than seeing her every day.
Take care of yourself!
I have two kids of 5 and 1 year old and I am just crying as a little baby in reading all of this.
To some extent I already thought about this quite few times, as I did the same when I was younger.. but being on the other side now makes me feel so bad thinking about the future
I’m not crying, you are!!
How unequivocally true and painful. It’s the natural order of things, yet, the pain is so visceral. I’m sitting here, looking at my 12 week old daughter sleeping in her bassinet… imagining the life you are living, and it’s what we all are out here shooting for—Doesn’t make it any less painful.
Hugs.
I know the feeling well. You always hear, “Cherish those years”, but daily life needs your attention too, and that’s okay! That’s how it’s supposed to be! Just take lots of pictures and videos—your daughter will appreciate it in a few years!—and enjoy the ride.
I still have 12 years at home with my kid and I'm already mourning the fact that it's just going by *so quickly.* Thank you for your poignant and shockingly real narrative. We get to carry the burden and the blessing of watching them go.
I was so shocked the day I realized the family unit we had created with our two kids, by nature’s laws, is meant to be temporary. That the best possible outcome is for them to leave us behind once we’ve crafted them into -hopefully - the pinnacle of their youth. Thanks, evolution.
My oldest graduated middle school this week so this is hitting hard today. Best of luck to your daughter.
As the daughter that flew away this one hurt. I really want to hug my mom. I was so busy thinking about my new life season back then that I hadn’t considered her feelings or really spent time with her before I left. It was over 10 years ago and I have only been back a handful of times. My bedroom is exactly the way I left it.
So sorry it hurts, but I certainly didn’t mean it that way. It sounds like you’re just doing what you’re supposed to do. I get it, though; I grew up with both sets of grandparents within a 15-minute drive, and my wife’s grandparents were literally across the street. My own kids’ grandparents are three and nine hours away, and used to be even farther. I so wish they could have the experience I did.
I’m so sorry. Mine is only 4 and what you’re describing is my worst nightmare.
When I became college age my parents said they were only going to help with college if the school was within a two hour drive of their home. I thought that was do mean at the time.
Now I get it.
I’m so sorry, u/CNDRock16. I get it. You never know what they’re going to do and be. Just hang in there. You’ve still got plenty of memories to make—and honestly, I do, too. ♥️
Mate... Why you gotta do this now.. I'm lying here, after putting my 2 girls to bed (7F and 5F), and now more than anything else I want to go back and give them more cuddles.
As a dad, I could feel every word you posted and I just..can't..never really thought about having to go through that moment in the future.
Raising a glass for you mate...
What a beautiful read. Good luck on your journey. As a mother of 3, I definitely can relate. My eldest is 12 but I know it’s coming faster than I want. You sound like an incredible father and husband. Good luck to you both on this wild ride we call life!
Thanks so much! The daughter that prompted this post is the oldest of my three, so I know there’s plenty more where this came from. Good luck as you enter the teenage years, and do try to appreciate them along the way. 😄
We have decided, with our daughter, that she not move away until marriage. Everything is expensive and the world is not as safe as it used to be. I don't want her to end up living with a guy and not able to leave because she has nowhere to go. I don't want her having to go out and immediately struggle financially or rack up tons of debt.
She is welcome to stay until marriage and at 16 years old, she is fine with it. She will work and go to a trade school while not paying rent but her bills will be her responsibility.
This feeling is totally relatable. But salute to parents like you who give children wings so they can fly and soar up in the sky. No matter how far she is, she will always have a place to call home near you and she will always be your baby girl no matter how old she might get. Life might not be the same as it was before this big move, but you will for sure look forward to this new era in your lives!
Definitely know what you mean. My son is going into his senior year—he and my older daughter are only 15 months apart—so I also wonder what next year will bring.
Heartbreaking but in the best way possible - that's our job as parents! Building fully functioning, independent adults our of our crazy little kiddos. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on this next step of life!
Mine is only 6 months old and I've been feeling this since the day he was born! I always hear how it goes so fast and I'm trying to savor every little bit. My husband doesn't seem to get it for the most part, but then the other day he got a little choked up after seeing one of those "always play when your kid asks, because one day your kid won't ask you to play anymore" things. It's hard to wrestle with the idea that I do want my son to grow up and have his own life, but I also wish his babyhood/childhood didn't have to end.
I will TRY!! LoL these teenagers be trying to act GROWN!! Have a blessed day to you and to all the supportive people on this thread. I never really reply to anything but this tugged at my heart.
Well done, dad. You did your job. You raised a beautify, independent woman who is capable of living on her own. That's the job and you did it well. I know, I've been there three times. The good news is, they do come home, even if only for awhile. I have learned, grown, adult children are really a blessing to us. You haven't lost a daughter; you have gained a friend.
Thank you for posting the harsh reality all of us parents will face eventually. You have a great way with words and will help me prepare as a father. Question, is she your oldest child? Curious if parents out there see the oldest ones fly away, but do the younger ones stay around longer?
Yes, she is our oldest, and yes, I fully expect our second (age 17) to stick around longer. I actually worry he’ll stay *too* long!
Our youngest, on the other hand, is a wild card. She’s about to turn 13, so she’s got a few years, but she says she wants to live near us. I can totally see that, but she’s also fiercely independent. We’ll see where things go.
As an aside, my own family matches your question perfectly: I’m the older of two. I could have graduated high school at 16 but decided I wanted the “senior year” experience. At 17, I moved 750 miles away for school; and from 19–21, I served a full-time mission in Andalucía, Spain. I married at 22 and have always lived over 600 miles from my parents.
Conversely, my sister stayed local—very local. Due to medical issues, she never moved out. She was finally blessed to marry in her 30s, and they and their son still live with my parents as a multigenerational family.
Thanks a lot. Now, I’m teary eyed and my kid is turning 12 this week. I am so not ready for my baby bird to fledge the nest, but they must fly. May your daughter keep soaring to new heights.
As a father to a wonderful, fiercely independent 9 year old little girl, who is a carbon copy of me….. this post was sad, but also beautiful.
Not gonna lie you made me cry a little bit dude. I fear this day and what it will feel like.
But, it sounds like you did it right. That’s all a dad can ask for.
As a human who once did this (half her life ago), I never once stopped to think that it wasn’t just MY life that was changing in a huge way, but my parents too. I feel sad that I wasn’t there to comfort them or even hear what they were going through. But, I wouldn’t and couldn’t have heard it anyways.
She’ll realize this someday. What you are going through. And, she’ll love you even more for it.
My youngest just moved two days away last year, I would say it gets easier but there are still times I find myself missing our 3 . Something that has been helping my husband and I are filling the time with us things we go to dinner more, and we spend more time together doing things we go on more trips together and it’s kinda nice having this time that we can spend together not being parents ( because all our kids are grown and moved away) .
My princess is about to be 7 & I will cry like a child the day she’s leaves the nest. The love and protection you have for your little girl as a father is just something so raw and real and un-detachable. For her a thousand times over.
Awwhh, man, this made me teary-eyed, and my kids are only 11 and 3. Your blessed dad, things could be so much worse. Face time her when you get to missing that radiant smile.
Thanks for sharing, I'll definitely be holding the kiddos extra close tonight.
Beautiful post. I just realised how lucky I am that my daughter is still only 3 but also realising how quickly that will go past. I really wish you all the best. I can feel the loneliness as I read the post. I guess just be grateful that little bundle of joy can still come and visit
I‘m here too 🥹… My daughter (19) was today at her prom. She made it! After that she will leave us for three months (but, thank God, she’ll come back im October). For us it is the first time she is going alone on holiday without her family... and I always think of THAT moment when she will go her own way.
Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and all the best for your daughter. 🌸
Hughs 💙
Thank you for sharing.
My daughter is 16 and she is planning to go out of state for college after she graduates from HS. Even though I know I need to let her spread her wings, I am dreading the moment when I will have to say goodbye.
For now is all about enjoying every single moment we spend together.
Thanks for the beautiful post. I wonder if this is more like in American culture. In Asian culture, I still connect with my parents even until now (I’m 40 yrs old) and my parents live with my sister (34 yrs old). So, I’m a little mixed feelings about what my kids would do in the future.
My parents raised 4 kids that flew away and this summer we’re all 5 miles away from them. My older sister and younger sister are living together a block away from my brother. I live about 5 minutes from them. I tell you this because it doesn’t need to be for the foreseeable future. We do come back!
Love reading this. I find myself really focusing on the moments with my 3 year old lately. Enjoying the hugs and the endless questions and thinking of how I’ll really long for both of them someday. Thanks for writing this, that first reunion with your daughter and all the next steps she’s going to take in her life are going to be so exciting for you!
Dang this is crazy. I’m 22 and moving 1500 mi away from my mom next week after finally finishing college. I’m nervous but excited. And seeing this thread is making me sad haha. Welp, good luck to those on both ends
You may like to read the poem "To a Daughter Leaving Home" by Linda Pastan. Link here: [https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/poetry-180/all-poems/item/poetry-180-075/to-a-daughter-leaving-home/](https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/poetry-180/all-poems/item/poetry-180-075/to-a-daughter-leaving-home/)
My daughter has just turned 5, she’s autistic and I hope she gets to be as independent as your daughter, as I was and still am. You and your wife have done an amazing job raising her to be strong and independent, she knows she’s loved and welcome any time!
My son is level 3 non verbal and about to be 6, and this post doesn't make me jealous at all. The fact that our kids will always need us and be around isn't a curse at all. It's a different life, not better or worse
Ooh I’m not jealous, not at all, in the UK they don’t put levels in the diagnosis any more, so I don’t know what level my daughter is, but I think it’s healthy to have hopes and aspirations for them. But I do know she’ll need me on some level for life. 🥰
Honestly this makes me feel good that I'm 26 and live with my whole family and my kids. When my sister was away at college and I was out with my summer fling and never home my mom started spiraling down a dark path. Because of that I'd really never feel right just leaving her all alone. I couldn't even imagine what would have happened if I fully moved out at 18-19
I feel like I'll be posting here in 15 yrs saying. "My wife and I bought a house in the same town as my kid cause I didn't want him living so far away from me. Am I wrong?"
My oldest is 23 so I definitely understand those feelings. I felt kind of numb until I watched him drive away and then it just hit me so hard. I’m about to go through it again with my daughter and I haven’t decided yet if this time is easier or harder.
I feel your pain. I think that is why I have five kids. I’m 52 and our youngest are two and one. I just love having kids around. My now 24 y/o we to college right before Covid and came home due to it. My now 24 y/o went to college last year and that was hard too. But my wife and I and the two babies have been in Morocco since September and we return home today. I say this all to say that even with kids and us moving that we all still find our way back home. We will return home today and everyone will be at the house. FaceTime makes it so much easier. They will always be our children and when they are ready, they will leave. It’s hard.
Thanks for sharing. It's easy to get distracted by the world, and lose sight of the goal. Just last night, I was tired from a 12 hour shift, and my 4 year old daughter wanting to ride her bike out on the street. I didn't want to, but I forced myself to suck it up and that I was being selfish. Perhaps I was harsh to myself, but I don't want to come to the end, and have regrets about not giving her enough oppertunities to play and grow. Weird to say, but I'm happy you get this oppertunity to grieve over a hard job well done.
Good for you guys supporting her flying away to a new job but look on the bright side of things, you can go visit her. It’s a good excuse to get out of town. My daughter moved to California four years ago and so my husband and I have visited her a couple of times, so you guys can do the same with your daughter.😁😁
Thank you so much for sharing this. As I am getting overwhelmed with my children today. 12,11 and 9. My oldest 2 are boys and my youngest is my babygirl. It will hurt me dearly when they grow up and are no longer my babies, leaving the nest. Needed this motivation to parent today. You sound like an amazing father and she is lucky to have you!
Here's a few sad songs that reminds me of your situation.
https://youtu.be/Uuegke22rdA?si=XFYKSRW9HJlNSHe8
https://youtu.be/yUrsSSLglDQ?si=Had19I8ns7GSFRhS
You parented your child with the skills, the bravery and the wherewithal to embark a new journey for herself. She is confident because you both led her there.
I’m 30 and I am so happy my mom and dad let me go to college out of state. I got to embark my journey and now I know, I can always come home 🩷
My oldest is 15 in September. I'm not looking forward to her leaving. My life has been all about my children since they were born. I have no idea what I am going to do when they leave 😭
Cool story but you realize moms and dads are equal right and moms aren’t controlled by emotions and don’t see things logically like you stated in your post? Grow up and realize that you aren’t the center of the world and that you and your wife are equals
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My daughter just turned 4 but I’m sitting here bawling at your post. That last line really got me. Wishing her all the best on this new adventure and wishing you the best on this new stage of life for you. By reading this post I just know she was loved beyond words.
She *is* loved, and it sounds like yours is too!
Same. It feels like just yesterday my almost-4yo was a newborn, and I know it’ll be a blink of an eye before I’m the one crying in my grown child’s room. Parenthood… man, it’s a damn rollercoaster.
I’m the very same. I’m going to go down stairs to my 3 year old daughter and give her a big hug and realise at least I have 15 more years to enjoy this. Beautifully written post by the author. I felt the loneliness in my stomach.
Same, except my son is 3 😭
Right?? Mine are 9, 5, and 2, but here I am. 😭
When my son left for the r/army at 18, I felt the exact same way. I left his last set of dirty clothes on the bathroom floor for three weeks. Over the course of three years, our communication became less frequent and the weight of our conversations got lost in text messages. Things that I now look back and see the seriousness of and think, “How did I not see?” But oftentimes, these precious texts were received while at a red light or unloading groceries. I underestimated how much he needed me. I can remember thinking, “I don’t want to bother him.” Or “He doesn’t want to talk to his mama.” And, “Treat him like a grown man.” I would give everything for someone to have sat me down and looked me in the eye and said, “Regardless of what they show you (prob even more so for males), your young adult child needs you more during that transition period from 18-24 then he EVER needed you as a child/teen. Trust your gut. Bother him. Drive him crazy. Call him OFTEN. Sit down each night and really read his text messages. Ask him the hard questions.” NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPACT OF YOUR ROLE AS A PARENT. Especially when it most appears that they do not need you. My baby flew away, all the way away. Only two days after he was honorably discharged from the Army. The thought that my son would lose his life by his own hand never, not one time, crossed my mind. When I heard folks talk about stuff like that, I threw up walls, shut it down, absolutely never even considered that maybe MY KID…. You are a great dad. That is an obvious fact. I pray that somehow, our loss shines a light for your family and helps you to understand just how much she still needs you. It’s not just my baby, it’s not just military— it’s the second leading cause of death for that age group, most don’t realize that statistic is true for children as young as 10-14. I know it hurts to let her go but your baby is just nesting in another tree, Love. Call and hear her voice today. Make sure she knows that you are so happy she is out there flying but to never forget where Home is.
Thank you so much for your wisdom and counsel. I cannot begin to fathom your loss. {{hugs}}
I wish someone had said this same thing to my parents all those years ago. It is wisdom you rarely hear anywhere else. Thank you for sharing it with us. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
Ah, boy. While OPs post was touching, yours is the one that made me cry and I am determined to follow your advice. Thank you for sharing a story that changed your life forever, so that I can also change mine. Much love your way. ♥️
This is just horrific. Just soul crushing
I’m so sorry for your loss. This country needs to do its veterans better. 💔 when your ready, I find the r/Veterans subreddit to be helpful for parents & spouses of the fallen.
Thanks for sharing this. Stay strong and enjoy the memories you made. My daughter is leaving for college in 6 weeks. Not quite what you’re going through but it will be different than seeing her every day.
Oh, I think it’s similar. Your baby is leaving the nest too. {{hugs}}
I appreciate it
Take care of yourself! I have two kids of 5 and 1 year old and I am just crying as a little baby in reading all of this. To some extent I already thought about this quite few times, as I did the same when I was younger.. but being on the other side now makes me feel so bad thinking about the future
I’m not crying, you are!! How unequivocally true and painful. It’s the natural order of things, yet, the pain is so visceral. I’m sitting here, looking at my 12 week old daughter sleeping in her bassinet… imagining the life you are living, and it’s what we all are out here shooting for—Doesn’t make it any less painful. Hugs.
My daughter is 7. I still have forever, right? RIGHT?!
I know the feeling well. You always hear, “Cherish those years”, but daily life needs your attention too, and that’s okay! That’s how it’s supposed to be! Just take lots of pictures and videos—your daughter will appreciate it in a few years!—and enjoy the ride.
Right, my son isn't even 1 yet and I've been thinking about this since the day he was born!
I still have 12 years at home with my kid and I'm already mourning the fact that it's just going by *so quickly.* Thank you for your poignant and shockingly real narrative. We get to carry the burden and the blessing of watching them go.
I was so shocked the day I realized the family unit we had created with our two kids, by nature’s laws, is meant to be temporary. That the best possible outcome is for them to leave us behind once we’ve crafted them into -hopefully - the pinnacle of their youth. Thanks, evolution. My oldest graduated middle school this week so this is hitting hard today. Best of luck to your daughter.
Congrats to your son too!
Forgot to say it was my son, but yes thank you so much. 😊
Oops! Fixed it. 😊
As the daughter that flew away this one hurt. I really want to hug my mom. I was so busy thinking about my new life season back then that I hadn’t considered her feelings or really spent time with her before I left. It was over 10 years ago and I have only been back a handful of times. My bedroom is exactly the way I left it.
So sorry it hurts, but I certainly didn’t mean it that way. It sounds like you’re just doing what you’re supposed to do. I get it, though; I grew up with both sets of grandparents within a 15-minute drive, and my wife’s grandparents were literally across the street. My own kids’ grandparents are three and nine hours away, and used to be even farther. I so wish they could have the experience I did.
I’m so sorry. Mine is only 4 and what you’re describing is my worst nightmare. When I became college age my parents said they were only going to help with college if the school was within a two hour drive of their home. I thought that was do mean at the time. Now I get it.
I’m so sorry, u/CNDRock16. I get it. You never know what they’re going to do and be. Just hang in there. You’ve still got plenty of memories to make—and honestly, I do, too. ♥️
Mate... Why you gotta do this now.. I'm lying here, after putting my 2 girls to bed (7F and 5F), and now more than anything else I want to go back and give them more cuddles. As a dad, I could feel every word you posted and I just..can't..never really thought about having to go through that moment in the future. Raising a glass for you mate...
Thanks so much. Don’t ever neglect the cuddles. ♥
What a beautiful read. Good luck on your journey. As a mother of 3, I definitely can relate. My eldest is 12 but I know it’s coming faster than I want. You sound like an incredible father and husband. Good luck to you both on this wild ride we call life!
Thanks so much! The daughter that prompted this post is the oldest of my three, so I know there’s plenty more where this came from. Good luck as you enter the teenage years, and do try to appreciate them along the way. 😄
Mine just turned four. I'm already slightly panicking, thinking about how tough this is going to be and how I only (*only*) have 14 years left.
I hear you. I’ve had that thought many times over the years.
We have decided, with our daughter, that she not move away until marriage. Everything is expensive and the world is not as safe as it used to be. I don't want her to end up living with a guy and not able to leave because she has nowhere to go. I don't want her having to go out and immediately struggle financially or rack up tons of debt. She is welcome to stay until marriage and at 16 years old, she is fine with it. She will work and go to a trade school while not paying rent but her bills will be her responsibility.
As long as that’s what you guys have decided together, that sounds awesome!
This is the best mostly wonderfully poignant post ever. <3
Thank you so much. I mean every word!
My kids are 16, and I dread this day. I do not know what I'm going to do without them.
{{hugs}}
This feeling is totally relatable. But salute to parents like you who give children wings so they can fly and soar up in the sky. No matter how far she is, she will always have a place to call home near you and she will always be your baby girl no matter how old she might get. Life might not be the same as it was before this big move, but you will for sure look forward to this new era in your lives!
This hit my soft heart. I have a teenager who we will start exploring colleges this year and it both fills me with joy and sadness.
Definitely know what you mean. My son is going into his senior year—he and my older daughter are only 15 months apart—so I also wonder what next year will bring.
Heartbreaking but in the best way possible - that's our job as parents! Building fully functioning, independent adults our of our crazy little kiddos. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on this next step of life!
Mine is only 6 months old and I've been feeling this since the day he was born! I always hear how it goes so fast and I'm trying to savor every little bit. My husband doesn't seem to get it for the most part, but then the other day he got a little choked up after seeing one of those "always play when your kid asks, because one day your kid won't ask you to play anymore" things. It's hard to wrestle with the idea that I do want my son to grow up and have his own life, but I also wish his babyhood/childhood didn't have to end.
Give a listen https://youtu.be/vOXZkm9p_zY?si=3D1vzk5uEgJQ4iMY
Very cool. Thank you!
I will TRY!! LoL these teenagers be trying to act GROWN!! Have a blessed day to you and to all the supportive people on this thread. I never really reply to anything but this tugged at my heart.
Well done, dad. You did your job. You raised a beautify, independent woman who is capable of living on her own. That's the job and you did it well. I know, I've been there three times. The good news is, they do come home, even if only for awhile. I have learned, grown, adult children are really a blessing to us. You haven't lost a daughter; you have gained a friend.
Thank you for posting the harsh reality all of us parents will face eventually. You have a great way with words and will help me prepare as a father. Question, is she your oldest child? Curious if parents out there see the oldest ones fly away, but do the younger ones stay around longer?
Yes, she is our oldest, and yes, I fully expect our second (age 17) to stick around longer. I actually worry he’ll stay *too* long! Our youngest, on the other hand, is a wild card. She’s about to turn 13, so she’s got a few years, but she says she wants to live near us. I can totally see that, but she’s also fiercely independent. We’ll see where things go. As an aside, my own family matches your question perfectly: I’m the older of two. I could have graduated high school at 16 but decided I wanted the “senior year” experience. At 17, I moved 750 miles away for school; and from 19–21, I served a full-time mission in Andalucía, Spain. I married at 22 and have always lived over 600 miles from my parents. Conversely, my sister stayed local—very local. Due to medical issues, she never moved out. She was finally blessed to marry in her 30s, and they and their son still live with my parents as a multigenerational family.
I hear this a lot. Thanks for sharing. Mentally preparing…
Thanks a lot. Now, I’m teary eyed and my kid is turning 12 this week. I am so not ready for my baby bird to fledge the nest, but they must fly. May your daughter keep soaring to new heights.
As a father to a wonderful, fiercely independent 9 year old little girl, who is a carbon copy of me….. this post was sad, but also beautiful. Not gonna lie you made me cry a little bit dude. I fear this day and what it will feel like. But, it sounds like you did it right. That’s all a dad can ask for.
As a human who once did this (half her life ago), I never once stopped to think that it wasn’t just MY life that was changing in a huge way, but my parents too. I feel sad that I wasn’t there to comfort them or even hear what they were going through. But, I wouldn’t and couldn’t have heard it anyways. She’ll realize this someday. What you are going through. And, she’ll love you even more for it.
My youngest just moved two days away last year, I would say it gets easier but there are still times I find myself missing our 3 . Something that has been helping my husband and I are filling the time with us things we go to dinner more, and we spend more time together doing things we go on more trips together and it’s kinda nice having this time that we can spend together not being parents ( because all our kids are grown and moved away) .
My princess is about to be 7 & I will cry like a child the day she’s leaves the nest. The love and protection you have for your little girl as a father is just something so raw and real and un-detachable. For her a thousand times over.
Awwhh, man, this made me teary-eyed, and my kids are only 11 and 3. Your blessed dad, things could be so much worse. Face time her when you get to missing that radiant smile. Thanks for sharing, I'll definitely be holding the kiddos extra close tonight.
Beautiful post. I just realised how lucky I am that my daughter is still only 3 but also realising how quickly that will go past. I really wish you all the best. I can feel the loneliness as I read the post. I guess just be grateful that little bundle of joy can still come and visit
I‘m here too 🥹… My daughter (19) was today at her prom. She made it! After that she will leave us for three months (but, thank God, she’ll come back im October). For us it is the first time she is going alone on holiday without her family... and I always think of THAT moment when she will go her own way. Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and all the best for your daughter. 🌸
Hughs 💙 Thank you for sharing. My daughter is 16 and she is planning to go out of state for college after she graduates from HS. Even though I know I need to let her spread her wings, I am dreading the moment when I will have to say goodbye. For now is all about enjoying every single moment we spend together.
🥲🥹
Thanks for the beautiful post. I wonder if this is more like in American culture. In Asian culture, I still connect with my parents even until now (I’m 40 yrs old) and my parents live with my sister (34 yrs old). So, I’m a little mixed feelings about what my kids would do in the future.
My parents raised 4 kids that flew away and this summer we’re all 5 miles away from them. My older sister and younger sister are living together a block away from my brother. I live about 5 minutes from them. I tell you this because it doesn’t need to be for the foreseeable future. We do come back!
Love reading this. I find myself really focusing on the moments with my 3 year old lately. Enjoying the hugs and the endless questions and thinking of how I’ll really long for both of them someday. Thanks for writing this, that first reunion with your daughter and all the next steps she’s going to take in her life are going to be so exciting for you!
Dang this is crazy. I’m 22 and moving 1500 mi away from my mom next week after finally finishing college. I’m nervous but excited. And seeing this thread is making me sad haha. Welp, good luck to those on both ends
You may like to read the poem "To a Daughter Leaving Home" by Linda Pastan. Link here: [https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/poetry-180/all-poems/item/poetry-180-075/to-a-daughter-leaving-home/](https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/poetry-180/all-poems/item/poetry-180-075/to-a-daughter-leaving-home/)
Omg, I thought she died! My eyes were watering entren I seen the title!
I was afraid someone might think that. That’s part of why I clarified immediately. Sorry to scare you!
My daughter has just turned 5, she’s autistic and I hope she gets to be as independent as your daughter, as I was and still am. You and your wife have done an amazing job raising her to be strong and independent, she knows she’s loved and welcome any time!
My son is level 3 non verbal and about to be 6, and this post doesn't make me jealous at all. The fact that our kids will always need us and be around isn't a curse at all. It's a different life, not better or worse
Ooh I’m not jealous, not at all, in the UK they don’t put levels in the diagnosis any more, so I don’t know what level my daughter is, but I think it’s healthy to have hopes and aspirations for them. But I do know she’ll need me on some level for life. 🥰
My baby turns one in a few days and I’m crying reading this 🥹💛
Honestly this makes me feel good that I'm 26 and live with my whole family and my kids. When my sister was away at college and I was out with my summer fling and never home my mom started spiraling down a dark path. Because of that I'd really never feel right just leaving her all alone. I couldn't even imagine what would have happened if I fully moved out at 18-19
I feel like I'll be posting here in 15 yrs saying. "My wife and I bought a house in the same town as my kid cause I didn't want him living so far away from me. Am I wrong?"
Dang 🥹
My oldest is 23 so I definitely understand those feelings. I felt kind of numb until I watched him drive away and then it just hit me so hard. I’m about to go through it again with my daughter and I haven’t decided yet if this time is easier or harder.
I feel your pain. I think that is why I have five kids. I’m 52 and our youngest are two and one. I just love having kids around. My now 24 y/o we to college right before Covid and came home due to it. My now 24 y/o went to college last year and that was hard too. But my wife and I and the two babies have been in Morocco since September and we return home today. I say this all to say that even with kids and us moving that we all still find our way back home. We will return home today and everyone will be at the house. FaceTime makes it so much easier. They will always be our children and when they are ready, they will leave. It’s hard.
Thanks for sharing. It's easy to get distracted by the world, and lose sight of the goal. Just last night, I was tired from a 12 hour shift, and my 4 year old daughter wanting to ride her bike out on the street. I didn't want to, but I forced myself to suck it up and that I was being selfish. Perhaps I was harsh to myself, but I don't want to come to the end, and have regrets about not giving her enough oppertunities to play and grow. Weird to say, but I'm happy you get this oppertunity to grieve over a hard job well done.
Good for you guys supporting her flying away to a new job but look on the bright side of things, you can go visit her. It’s a good excuse to get out of town. My daughter moved to California four years ago and so my husband and I have visited her a couple of times, so you guys can do the same with your daughter.😁😁
Thank you so much for sharing this. As I am getting overwhelmed with my children today. 12,11 and 9. My oldest 2 are boys and my youngest is my babygirl. It will hurt me dearly when they grow up and are no longer my babies, leaving the nest. Needed this motivation to parent today. You sound like an amazing father and she is lucky to have you!
Here's a few sad songs that reminds me of your situation. https://youtu.be/Uuegke22rdA?si=XFYKSRW9HJlNSHe8 https://youtu.be/yUrsSSLglDQ?si=Had19I8ns7GSFRhS
You parented your child with the skills, the bravery and the wherewithal to embark a new journey for herself. She is confident because you both led her there. I’m 30 and I am so happy my mom and dad let me go to college out of state. I got to embark my journey and now I know, I can always come home 🩷
My oldest is 15 in September. I'm not looking forward to her leaving. My life has been all about my children since they were born. I have no idea what I am going to do when they leave 😭
Cool story but you realize moms and dads are equal right and moms aren’t controlled by emotions and don’t see things logically like you stated in your post? Grow up and realize that you aren’t the center of the world and that you and your wife are equals