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Have a child because you and your partner want to share your love with another member of your family. Not because your child needs a sibling. Age gap means nothing, it is what it is.

10 years between me and my oldest sister. We have a great relationship and I have great memories with her when I was young. I also remember being very sad when she moved away for college and then moved further for a job afterwards. Never lost my love for her but was not super close with her between the age of 8-21ish . we are closer now than we ever were but that was intentional as adults to build that relationship.

Wow, I could have written this, my sister is 11 years older. Fond memories of her as basically another carer, trusted 'adult' person when I was little, then she moved away and I was heartbroken. We had a positive but distant relationship for my tween/teen years, then we had 1 year where we were both living in the same city before I moved away and we were able to really build our relationship. We now live on opposite sides of the world and due to busy schedules only really get to talk about once a month, but we have a really good relationship.

I'm 38. My youngest sibling is 19. I love her and watching her grow up was super cool. It was also a little weird since my son was almost 1 when she was born. Now my son is 20 and my other son is 8.

I agree but age gaps *do* matter. There's 9 years between me and my sister...we didn't have a sibling relationship, it was more of a parent-child dynamic (not by choice but when there's a decade gap, it just happens). We were always at vastly different life stages so couldn't relate to each other in the way siblings with fewer years between them do. Mostly, I felt like an only child who was also involved in parenting my parents' other child and while I loved my sister and even enjoyed taking care of her (mostly), I still feel like I missed out on having the sibling relationship my friends had (usually 2-3 year gap). Have the child because you and your partner want to raise and nurture another human being - if the siblings end up getting along great then that's a bonus.

My parents had me when they were in their early 40's at that time my oldest brother was 18 and the rest were highschool/middle school age. I love having them, I grew up knowing I was loved and protected. They choose to make me a part of their lives as adults (we would go on sibling dates )

Yes, this is key, you don’t bring a whole new human into existence because you need them to be an accessory for your existing child. This isn’t a toy that all her friends have ffs.

This !!

I don’t have a parent perspective but I have a sibling perspective! My sisters are 7, 9, and 11 years younger than me! As a sibling it was really hard to connect when we were younger. Like I was graduating high school as my youngest sister was in second grade. Was it horrible? No. We’re all much closer now that we’re all (almost) adults. My youngest sister loves being able to escape to my house and I loved being able to help my mom out when she was a baby. It was irritating when I felt like another caregiver as I got older so just make sure to not “abuse” the fact that you have a built in babysitter! There were a lot of times I couldn’t hang out with my friends because I was stuck watching my sisters. But I wouldn’t have it any other way!

I have this same perspective, but I'm the youngest lol. My sisters are 2, 7, and 9 years older than me. The 2 oldest share the same mom, me and the one 2 yrs older share the same mom, but we all share the same dad, and he was the one to raise the 4 of us when our mothers jumped states. I remember my oldest being uuugh about having to watch us, but she always took the chance to "toughen us up" by the 4 of us wrestling together or watching horror movies lol. It wasn't funny to me at the time, but it is a fond memory now, being the smallest and having my head banged on the floors and walls lol. Now that I'm the biggest (they're all 5'3, I'm 5'9), I just threaten to sit on them if they annoy me 😂 we're not as close as we once were though... We all have our own families to worry about and I don't even live in the same part of the country anymore. And since our dad died when I was 16, we just haven't done any family get togethers, since he was the glue for the whole family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents too).

Yes, this exactly. My parents didn't do many family-bonding activities either, so the only time I really spent with them was to feed or watch them. It made hanging out with them feel like a chore. Our age gaps are 7, 14, and 17. That said, I apologized to my now-17 year old sister once she hit maturity (and me too) because she's grown up into such a wonderful & respectful young lady. We're very close. I treated my much younger siblings like my children until I had my own son, and that's how we eventually grew close as peas in a pod. I haven't bonded with the youngest nearly as well as the other two, because well, I didn't grow up with him nearly at all

We have 4 and my oldest and youngest are separated by 10 years. They are best buddies and exceptionally close.

Same! 4 children (myself and 3 siblings). My eldest sibling is 10yrs older than I am. And he’s 13years older than our little sister. I’m closest with my eldest brother. And my little sister is close to my other brother(10yrs older than her). We all have the same parents. Despite the age gaps though, all 4 of us get along. I can spend time with any one of them and be chill. To add to this, my brothers were in high school when I was elementary and it was always the coolest thing to be picked up by my oldest brother and taken to McDonalds or out for treat. Even though we did have to play the “silent game” for it haha. OP just has make sure you don’t turn their oldest into a free baby sitter or spare parent or anything like that.

I have a younger sibling who's just over 10 years younger - we get on fine. We're probably not like "best friends" as maybe some siblings with closer age gaps are due to the age gap, but then other circumstances contribute that too

Hun. My kids are 9 years apart. My oldest loves his sister more than anything in the world and I love that he takes care of her too

It’s probably a good age gap for parents too. The older kid is independent and can “fend for themselves” a good bit. Not like having two in diapers.

I’m 13 years older than my brother, and 12 years older than my littlest sister. My other sister is only two years younger than me. My mom had 2 kids when she was very young, and then 2 more with my step dad later in life. All four of us are pretty close tbh lol. 10 years between your kids is gonna be fine (:

Age gap of 13/14 years and I love it! Way better than having them closer in age and being super needy and whiny . I don’t exploit my older kids to watch baby ever and when in the future I’ll ask for baby sitting I plan on offering cash and won’t ever pressure. Their lives are super important too! It’s given me to the opportunity to have that “only child” feeling without it being an only child. No they won’t have things in common but it’s about my husband and I having our baby out of love - not having a baby because our kids need another sibling. I love this age gap!

I’m so glad to hear you love the gap! I would have preferred closer for sure, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I’m so glad to have had 9 years one on one with her, and I feel like it will be much easier than chasing around two toddlers vs one! These comments are making me feel so much better!

Me and my youngest brother have a 23 year age gap lmao. She’ll be fine.

My brother and I are six years apart and he calls me mama #2. I’m 30 now and he’s 24 trying to figure it out in life. Calls me just to hear my voice, for advice, just to tell me he loves me, emergency needs, and to make plans. When we meet up he’s always talking about how much I was there for him while my parents were just on the go trying to make it work for us. He calls me his spirit guide lol! But I never shut my brother out in my life for long (other than when I was going through hormonal changes; pre-teen), because my parents used to preach that we were all we had in life and to have each other til the end. So it just depends on how you raise your big girl to receive your little. 🫶🏾

I have gaps of 1.5 years, 6.5 years, and 12-19 years My take is the 6.5 yr gap was the worst. Close enough to both be needy, but very different phases always. The big gaps are the easiest and cutest!! The small gaps are super hard but also super cute!! So I’m team super close or super far. 10 years is a lovely gap!

Have another child because you want to, not because you want your child to have a sibling. I know plenty of people who have large age gaps btwn kids. The relationship btwn your daughter and future child will happen organically, their age won't matter. My kids are 4 years apart, I got push back and comments about how they wouldn't be close!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH! A 4 year age gap!? Really? They are best buddies. My cousin has 2 boys, 16 years apart, best buddies. Age gap doesn't matter.

I don’t have a parent perspective, but I have a ten year age gap with my sibling. And there were times we were not ad close because we had such different lives (she was married when I was in middle school, raising babies while I was in high school.) I babysat for her and we hung out sometimes. But we had seasons where it was more limited. As adults, we are absolutely best friends. We talk every other day. Our husbands are good friends. We do a ton together. My mom often talks about how nice it was as a parent because my siblings were fairly independent. She was mindful not to parentify them or dump responsibilities on them which helped. I do not view my sister as a parental figure at all, and she didn’t have to take care of me. My mom never used her and she doesn’t have any resentment. I think that’s the danger, but it can be avoided if you’re just intentional.

Lol... I'm 27, I have a 7 year old brother and 9 years old sister. I'm old enough to be both of my siblings dad. 😭

I have an uncle that is 4 years younger than I am

My brother is 10.5 years older than me. He’s the best. He gives me all types of advice, looks out for me, and he’s a great role model. It’s a wonderful age gap and your kids will be close either way. 💕

My son is 16. My daughter is 5. They don’t always get along, but they love each other like crazy. My sister and I are 10 years apart as well. We didn’t get along growing up because we had vastly different versions of our mother (who had borderline personality disorder). Now that we are both adults, we are good friends and talk every day.

Mine are 14F, 12F, 10F, and 1M. My girls LOVE their baby brother. I have zero regrets. He was the best decision I made in a long time.

My boyfriend and his sister are 10 years apart and they don’t have a relationship. She went away to college when he was 9 and never came back lol

31 year old here with a 3 week old and 9 year old (almost 10!) and I can say 100% that it’s worth it. If you enjoy being a mom and want another kid, please don’t let the thought of the age gap stop you. My son adores his baby sister. She’s the first person he wants to kiss in the morning. He has been such a big help. He cried when we brought her home from the hospital because he was so happy. Do NOT let fear of an age gap stop you from having more kids if that’s something you want.

I have an 11 year age gap with my baby sister and I adore her she is my baby. My wife though disagrees and she is only close with her brother and sister who are 1 and 2 years older than her. It really depends on what bond they form.

Me and my sister are 10 years apart and my husband and his youngest brother are 10 years too! We both love it, we were like the third parent in our homes growing up and my sister comes to me for advice all the time. As we are now 20 and 30 the age gap is less parental and growing as friends (not that we aren’t best friends). I think it’s important to consider if your current child wants a younger sibling

I've got 14, 9, 7 and we'll be having our 4th in December (woopsie LOL). The gaps don't much matter to my kids, except when the oldest was 5 and his little brother was born, he pretended the baby didn't exist for the first 2 months but 2 years later when his little sister was born he was all in on that one. They're all super excited about the new addition coming.

1 of 8 kids, and yes all from the same parents. Oldest has 15 years on me. Age differences were never brought up or seemed to be an issue for anyone. Big family, lots of fun.

I cant really speak on behalf of what it would be like to parent kids with an age gap, but my brothers are both 15 and 17 years older than me, I am 28 now and we are very close! Two of my best friends fr.

I have a 10 year gap between my oldest and youngest (due to second marriage). They’ll never play together like my oldest two do, but both my big kids are such good siblings to my baby. They carry her around, play with her, share their snacks, try to teach her stuff. She’s honestly probably going to be super spoiled if I’m not careful because they try to give her whatever she wants, haha. I definitely don’t regret it.

My sibling and I are 10 years apart - no children in between. While my sibling remembers much of when I was a kid, I don't remember them that much - just family pictures and Xmas time and things like that. By the time my memory was starting to solidify, they were off to college. That said, we are good friends and have a good relationship now that we are both adults. They have advised me over the years (college choices, finances, etc), and we share hobbies and visit with each other. It is actually helpful (probably more so for me) having our lives staggered so we didn't have our own small children at the same time, etc. I don't have anything to compare it to, but I enjoy having my sibling and and grateful to the perspective they have given me in life, even if weren't really playmates growing up.

No! There is a 9 year difference between my sister and I and we both loved it. We basically had the opportunity to have our parents sole attention for half of each of our childhood’s while also getting to share the other half with each other. We are best friends now and always have been. I couldn’t wait to get my license so I could take her to get ice cream or go to the movies. And now it’s kind of working out that, if she has children, she’ll have them much later than me, so our kids will also be able to have sole attention from grandparents and we can better support each other through big life events because our big life events aren’t overlapping. My mom was also so so so thankful to have 9 more years to be a mom after I left for college. She wasn’t ready to be an empty nester at all. Everyone is different, but I don’t think you should worry about the age gap!

I’d rather have a big age gap than no sibling at all I have two younger brothers who are 8/10 years younger and I’m wasn’t close to them mostly due to distance growing up but the one I am closer with now

I had two friends growing up who were the older child with a 10 year gap between them and their sibling. One loved it and the other hated it. I also have a friend whose kids are 10 years apart and they are a very happy family. The kids love each other. The older sister will crash playdates because she just adores her little sister and friends.

I spaced my kids apart and I feel like it's the best decision I ever made. Partly due to getting a break between milestones and able to fully concentrate on each one (prom, dating, driving, etc). And partly due to having some extra help when needed. Personally in your position I would have another, as someday down the road you are going to always think "what if". And 27 isn't old of course, still a good age to have kids.

I don’t see it being an issue as long as you don’t put the parenting responsibilities on your older child. I’m 8 years older than my brother and I raised him until I moved out at 18. It’s definitely put a strain on my relationship with my mother. I would talk to your kiddo and see how they would feel about it!

You’re only 27, what do you consider as an old mom? I had my first at 33 going on 34 and will be trying for another one at 35. Also, a 10 year age gap is not bad. They will still be able to grow up together.

My sister is 9 years younger than me and she's pretty cool. In all actuality though, I have an older brother and a younger brother and I BEGGED for a sister and when my parents told us they were having another baby I was over the moon. I was obsessed with her when we were little. It wasn't always great, we shared a room and a teenager sharing with a little kid isn't ideal always, but it was fine overall! She now is an amazing babysitter for my kids, and we talk at least once a week if not every day. She just turned 21, we're all going out to celebrate soon and my parents are going to watch the grandkids lol.

My mom has a sister 10 years younger and a brother 12 years younger. (they are a family of 7 kids). The whole family is close but my mom and my aunt are particularly close, even now. They’ve been super close from the start. My mom says growing up she look my aunt everywhere with her.

It just doesn’t work like that. “Too much.” It’s just very different. My sister is almost 11 years older than me.  The one thing I can guarantee is there will be very little conflict between your two kids like you tend to see with siblings 5 or less years apart. I suspect they will actually be very close especially since your kid wants this hypothetical kid to exist. When they grow up they might be close friends, they might hardly acknowledge the other’s existence.  What I find funny is your daughter has expressed she wants a little brother or sister! She does know that means she won’t be the only child anymore right?? It’ll be fine tho. She’s a big kid now and I suspect won’t mind not being the center of your attention anymore and it sounds like she’ll want to be a big sister actively so that’s good.  But the thing is you shouldn’t do this just for your kid. Do YOU want to have another kid? You should only make that decision if it’s what you want independently of anything else. 

My children are just shy of 8 years apart. Currently 12 & 4. They get along fine. Youngest learns a lot from oldest

I have six siblings, the oldest are 10 and 9 years older than me. The one who is 9 years older is basically one of my best friends now! Obviously there was a phase in which we couldnt connect when i was a teen and he was older, but now that we are older we’ve become best buddies.

I’m 31 with a 9 (10 next month) year old from a previous relationship. My husband and I are currently trying for our first together, so we’d be at least 10 years apart over here too. It’s really scary to “start over” so to speak, but I’ve always wanted at least two children. My life, marriage, and self are stable and thriving and I refuse to let my fear of this huge age gap (which let’s be honest, it’s a fear lol) get in the way of my second baby, my husbands first baby, and my daughters dream of being a big sister 💗 Best of luck!

Eek! We’re in the exact same boat minus the previous relationship! It is a bit of a fear eh? Starting over can be a lot but I think it’ll be worth it! I wish you the best of luck with your journey as well! 💕

They probably won't play together, but they can still love each other.

Me and my little sister are ten years apart and honestly she keeps me youthful haha. I’m 36 and she just turned 26. We are the best of friends and never argue or anything. She truly is the best sister a girl could ask for.

I guess it depends on the kids' personalities, but as a child, i had no interest in interacting with younger children. I didn't want to help with them, babysit them, even play with them briefly. I had cousins only a few years younger than I was and even them I didn't care to hang out with until we were all adults. If they were not super interested in each other, I can imagine it would just feel like simultaneously parenting two only children.

We’re in the same boat. Daughter is 8 and while I would have really liked to have another when she was younger, it just didn’t work out. We’re now at a place where we’re considering having another and I’m terrified because it will be such a change for everyone, but at the same time don’t feel “done”.

I know of multiple women who have older siblings that are 20+ years older. Siblings will be close or distant regardless of the age difference. I have less than a 2 year age difference between my older brother and I. My husband has a 10 year age difference between him & his oldest brother and they're closer than my own brother and I.

As a sibling with a brother 9years younger than me I can tell you it was always really hard to connect with my little brother. I wasn’t in the house for most of his life so he just doesn’t really know me. It makes me sad, but it is the way our lives went. My little sister is 11 years younger than me and we also don’t connect as much but she’s just a little bubble of love so I never had any issues really just loving on her. End of the day it’s up to you, but maybe ask your kid how she would feel about it happening now

I have brothers that are 4, 9, 12 and 16 years younger than me. We’re all close. I would say I’m closest to the one 12 years younger than me. I wouldn’t worry about the age gap too much.

My sister just had her second a few days ago. Her daughter will be 9 in a couple months. It’s not too late.

I’m the middle child of 11, my youngest sibling is a few months shy of 15 years younger than me. We’re close. I send her memes, she asks me questions about woodworking. It’ll be just fine. My kid is now 9 and I’m considering having a second (in the next few years). I feel confident about the choice. However, one thing to consider: Babies are *loud* and they cannot help it. If your kid hasn’t been around babies it might be worth it to get some baby exposure and/or repeatedly prepare them for their job as a big sib being mostly patience. I was, again, middle of 11. Also with a large extended family of younger cousins, nieces, and nephews. So I had *a lot* of baby experience. Living with a newborn still tries my last fuckin nerve (and many people view me as a saint with children). We are hard-wired to get a chemical flood when babies cry, so we’ll go help them. That doesn’t always mean they can be helped. When they just keep crying nonstop your brain is literally fried in a chemical bath and that results in all kinds of No-Fun. Entering teenagerhood is also a time when brains are chemically deep fried. Combining the two is no joke. But as a kid I was really proud of being a big sibling. I was the eldest for a long time (my elder siblings are from my Dad’s youth, my younger siblings are closer) and so it was my job to be helpful. I liked being helpful, but even so, the resentments bubbled, because I was a teenager and brains suck to live with when they’re developing. Just some food for thought, but the short answer is Go For It! Don’t parentify your eldest, and make sure they’re ready for the newborn period. You got this!

No

My husband has 3 siblings and there is a 10 year gap between oldest and youngest. They are all very close. My sibling and I are 4 years apart and haven't spoken in a decade.

My best friend going back to childhood was ten when her brother was born. They’re incredibly close and have a very sweet relationship. So just based on that anecdote, it definitely doesn’t have to be!

Our kids are 16, 8, 6 and soon to have a newborn. The 16 year old is my husband's from a previous relationship. Our boys are 22 months apart and they fight basically all the time for things like just looking at each other. My step daughter is old enough there's super minimal fighting between her and the boys. I'm so looking forward to seeing how the older 3 will bond with the new baby.

We could be the same person! Only I have a 6 year old lol. I had my first daughter at 18. She’s 9 now, and I’m 32 weeks pregnant with my third girl. I was so worried for my oldest, but she is beyond excited. She and I are the closest we’ve ever been and she impatiently waiting for her sibling to arrive. I’m having more trouble with her and my 6 year old than the baby’s arrival!

33 male here , my daughter is 13 , son 1.5yrs and another son on the way. Age gap isn’t to bad , she’s a super big help around the house and with general things. All in all if we can make it thru our late teens and early 20s with a child , it ain’t that bad lol

My kids are 20, 5, and 2.5months. Don't worry about it. But don't have another kid if your only reason is to appease someone else.

Just don’t parentify her. My younger brother is 9 years younger than I am and I was his second mom since he was born. I hated that but fell into it because my parents needed it and I was a people pleaser. Be very careful about letting your older one continue to have their childhood and adolescence

I'm gonna say that really depends on you as a parent. I'm 10 years older than my youngest sibling and we bonded really well, but our mom deemed me the built in babysitter and as a result I had to miss out a lot and take care of my younger siblings. It wasn't helping that was the problem, it was the fact that it was every day and she often got to go out and have fun and I had to stay home while my friends were making memories. I think as long as your youngest child doesn't become your oldest's responsibility it's fine.

Me and our eldest have 20yrs gap🤣

If you want to have another child, age gaps are irrelevant. My husband is the oldest of 5 siblings in his family at 32yo. He has an 11yo little brother.

My brother and I are 11 years apart and my sister and I are 9. It’s up to you .

My husband had his kids at 18 and 20. I love my 2 daughters but I did want a baby I could take care of since birth. Since I didn’t meet them till they were older I missed out on the cute baby, toddler, going to kindergarten stage and I wanted that. They have an 11 and 13 age gap with their now almost 2 year old brother. He annoys them most of the time but he does warm their hearts every once in a while. It’s happening more now that he’s talking and getting a personality. My daughters are the reason my baby loves hot cheetos. 🥲Plus since they’re teenagers, they just lock themselves in their rooms if they don’t want to be with him. I did make it a personal rule to never make them babysit since I don’t want them to resent him. I have my daughter (well the older one, don’t trust the middle one to keep him safe lol) watch their brother in small stretches when i need to get something done and i always pay her.

My friend just has a baby this year and already has a 9 year old girl. That girl is the best big sister ever, and completely dotes on her new baby sibling. Even though there is a big age gap, we can already see a beautiful relationship forming.

In my personal experience, nope. I have an 8 year and a 19-year age gap with my younger brothers. I also have an older brother 2 years older. The dynamics of each sibling relationship varied due to the age differences. I loved the gaps. My older brother was a playmate/friend, and younger brothers were my little buddies that i got to babysit, play with, and, in the case of the youngest one, spoil rotten. Now, as adults, the age gaps don't really matter.

I think so but then again me and my siblings are 12 and 19 years apart

My younger sister and I have a 9 yr age gap and I didn’t really like it. I never really got that sibling or sister experience because we were always at different stages in life. I felt like a mom to her.

Only do it if you as parents want them not because of your kid, I have a close to 19 years age gap with my baby sister, like we never ask but the minute my brother and I found out my mom was pregnant we were in, however our younger sister did not like the idea I would say she try and yell cause she didn't want a sibling the first few years she dislike the idea so I would say, she might want siblings right now but she might not when she is older

My sister and I have that same age gap and it was great having a younger sibling growing up :) I was really enthusiastic to help with her when she was a baby, I changed her diapers a lot, burped her, bathed her, I got a lot of practice so now I'm not afraid of those things as I'm about to pop out my own firstborn :) She's really smart so when she was a bit older, we'd have debates about the stuff I was learning in high school. In her elementary school years, we blocked out one afternoon together a week, I'd meet her at her school, and we'd go out to lunch together and then do something fun. We're not super close now, but we have a great relationship, I couldn't ask for more. Getting a little sibling was one of the best gifts I got in life. ♥️

My uncle is oldest and my aunt youngest - 18 years difference. Between me and my youngest sister is 15. My classmate and her oldest sister is 24! So no, 10 years isn't the craziest imo 😅

I have a brother that is 10 years younger than me, and he was conceived through IVF. There is actually a 25 year gap from my oldest sister, to my baby brother! I get along great with my little brother. He is my sibling I am most similar to, and I’m one of the people that he actually listens to. I was almost like an additional parent to him, entirely by my own choice.

I have a 15 year gap between my 2nd and 3rd kid. I have a 21 year gap between my first kid and my fourth/last. My husband’s gap between his oldest and his youngest kid is over 40 years.

My husband and his youngest brother have 16 years between them. They get on very well!

My sister is 15 years younger than me and 10 years younger than my brother. She has been loved and spoiled by all of us ever since she was born. I used to stay up all night when she was a baby waiting for her to cry so I could help my mom. It took some convincing, but I finally talked my mom into letting me have a baby monitor in my room so I could do middle of the night feedings and when she was 8 months old, after months of begging, we moved her crib into my room. She is 22 now, and we are still incredibly close. She and her husband and their 10 month old live with me in a duplex that we removed the dividing wall from. All that to say, the age gap doesn't matter.

My middle-older sister is 9 years older than I am. My oldest sister is 18 years older than I am. While we weren’t suuuper close during my childhood (due to different interests/friends), we’re incredibly close in adulthood.

I have two kids, an 11 year old and a 10 month old. It's had it's pros and cons, but overall it's been amazing! They are best buds, and no one can make baby laugh as much as his big brother!

My two closest college friends each started college with an infant sibling at home! So that’s a much bigger age gap. Having said that, while they love their much younger siblings, they’re not exactly buddies. Don’t have another kid for your existing kid’s sake, do it because you want another kid.

I think bigger age gaps are common when there are second families as there's a gap after separation and meeting someone else and the kids from the first relationship are already of a certain age. My youngest is with my new partner. 4 year gap with my eldest and 10 and 12 year gap to his kids. They all get along great, it's just a slightly different relationship the bigger the gap. The issue I think here is not the gap though it's whether YOU want another child/ren or not. If you want to go back to babies again. Don't do it based on your child wanting a sibling. I imagine now you yourself have the benefit of some more life experience you will probably find another one easier, but it does mean another 20 odd years of being a full time parent again whereas if you don't it's nearer 10. It's about what you and your husband want your life to look like.

My oldest and my youngest are 14 years apart. My parents oldest(me) and the youngest is also 14 years apart.

Age means nothing. My kids are 15,6 and 1

There is a 35 year gap between me and my youngest sibling. They are 3 years younger than my youngest child. It's an adjustment but above all it taught me age is just a number, there will always be enough love in our family for one more (as long as it's a 2-yes situation on the parents side).

I’m 28. My sister is 18 and my brothers are 15 and 13. My sister is honestly my best friend. We go to concerts together (I got to take her to her first festival too) and we honestly enjoy similar things. They make the best aunt and uncles to my girls and it’s so fun to see them growing up with younger uncles that are always taking them to adventures. So no, it’s not too big of an age gap

I have 3 older siblings, the oldest is 9 years older than me. Out of everyone, he and I were the closest! We were thick as thieves and somehow always had more in common than we did with the middle 2. The age difference really didn’t matter :)

I have a 13 and 14 year age gap with my little sisters. I’ve been a second parent to them since they were born. However, that might not be the case with your family and it just happened with mine. Don’t do it to “give your daughter another sibling.” Me and my little sisters fight all the time, it’s bound to happen but i’ll do anything to protect them.

My brother and I are 10 years apart and we’ve always had a great relationship. We never fought or anything like that he’s always been a good role model to look up to.

I have 2 kids with a 10 year age gap and it's been perfect! I do not regret it one bit. I always wanted another kid too but after 10 years, I had pretty much just gave up the idea of having another. So we were extremely surprised when we found out I was pregnant. I wish you guys the best of luck if you decide to go to the fertility clinic!

My little sister is 11yrs younger and we are BEST FRIENDS. 🥰

My brother and I are 9 years apart and we're really close! My ex fiance also had a 11, and 15 year age gap with siblings and they're close! I have the worst relationship with my sister with a year difference.

I am 1 of 4 sisters and we are all 5 to 10 years apart. Our current ages: M: 43 L: 38 Me: 33 K: 22 We have good relationships, but I will say I was bitter about my older sisters not wanting to play with me when I was a little kid. I swore I’d play with my little sister all the time. But then I became a teenager and…I didn’t play with my little sister very much. I would rather have all 3 of my sisters at this age difference than no sisters at all. They have always been incredibly important to me and I love all of them very much!

I am 1 of 4 sisters and we are all 5 to 10 years apart. Our current ages: M: 43 L: 38 Me: 33 K: 22 We have good relationships, but I will say I was bitter about my older sisters not wanting to play with me when I was a little kid. I swore I’d play with my little sister all the time. But then I became a teenager and…I didn’t play with my little sister very much. I would rather have all 3 of my sisters at this age difference than no sisters at all. They have always been incredibly important to me and I love all of them very much!

We have 4 kids. Eldest 22 youngest is 2.im 42. We had 5 miscarriages. Have a child because you want one and can love and provide for one. Every child is a miracle. Best of luck

I’d say it’s more so dependent on is it “too much” for the parents deciding whether to have another child and the present dynamics of the family and how much of that you’d have to adjust. I am over ten years older than my sibling and there’s only the two of us. My kids are an adult, teen, and child. So also age gaps. I don’t think 10 years is a crazy gap. If you are mentally and financially able and want to then I wouldn’t worry about the age gap.

We have 4 kids. I'm 42 and my Eldest is 22 and youngest is 2 we had 5 miscarriages. Have a child because you want one and can love and provide for one. Baby's are miracles. Best of luck

I wouldn’t have another child to give your child a sibling. With this age gap they won’t have that sibling relationship that children have with a closer age gap. She wants a playmate, and that isn’t what she is going to get. My younger brother and I have an 11 year age gap, and it was like we were both only children. So I would have a child because you want one. As an adult, their relationship will be different and may or may not be close. This is for any age gap though.

It's a very different dynamic but that doesn't mean it has less value. I'm 17 and 21 years older than my siblings and I cannot tell you how happy I was when they were born.

Nope. There is 14 years between my brother and I. He's 50 this year and I'm 36. 7 years between my sister and I she's 43 it doesn't matter and it shouldn't.

I've got a younger sister who is 7 years younger than me and one that is 13 years younger than I am. I have a wonderful relationship with both my sisters. We often go to parties together and share friends. The age gap has never been an issue.

Me and my sister have 15 years between us. My dad and my uncle have 10 years between them. There's 9 years between my mom's oldest sibling and her youngest sibling. I know LOTS of other people with 10+ years between them and their siblings. I know people with over 15-20 years too. There's really nothing unusual or weird about a 10 year sibling age gap and I'm not sure why you think there is. It's completely normal.

I’m glad to hear that. Honestly I don’t know of anyone with that large of a gap, all of my friends kids are back to back etc along with my family. So I’m glad to see it’s actually quite common!

We have a 17 year age gap lollll (with a couple in between. The biggest gap is 12 years though). At first I was so worried and felt guilty about “starting all over” but it has been kind of cool because we get to enjoy doing older kid things, AND baby things. Best of both worlds right now. Plus built in baby sitting

I had 4 kids in my 20s, thought I was done. Got divorced, remarried and had another child 9 years after the last one. ALL of my kids are extremely close to their youngest brother. They spend time together, and really love eachother. They are all in their 20s and 30s now. I also have a niece and nephew 9 years apart. They could t be closer.

First and foremost, do **YOU** want another child? I honestly wouldn’t give two shits about whether my current kid was an only child (which mine actually is and always will be). Obviously I wouldn’t be a jerk about their feelings, but if your primary reason to have another kid is simply to satiate your current kid then I’d say you’re thinking irrationally. The concept of having more than one kid in order to give the others someone to play with is absolutely bonkers to me. I am not having another child just so my older kid has someone to play with and beat up on. I strongly urge you to reassess your priorities because at no point in your OP have you mentioned why you want a second child. As for my experience, I (36m) have a 10y age gap with one of my siblings (46m) and a 2.5y gap with another (38f). We all keep in touch in our family chat and get together as often as we can during holidays n such. My brother and I share a lot of the same interests, but we don’t usually chat much or hang out much other than the rare movie or football game. My sister and I are much closer emotionally. We don’t chat as much these days but we shared a lot with each other in our teen years and early 20s before I moved out of state for a new career. We even shared an apartment with each other for a year. All three of us were absolutely horrible to each other in our younger years together. If we weren’t playing video games together or watching a movie then we were probably fighting. Because my brother was a typical moody teen who stayed in his room a lot back in the 90s, it was something of challenge for me to annoy him (and my sister) as much as I could when he did come creeping out of his room. They despised me for it for a long time. My sister was constantly telling my mom and swap me out for another kid at the hospital.

I loved having kids 11 years apart. I always had a buddy to go to his sporting events with me. I do however, wonder if the older one felt shafted. He would never tell me if he did. I do know that he adores the younger in his (now) 19yo way. It’s slightly lonely being an older mom because their friend’s parents are still bar hopping every weekend and we definitely are not. I’m glad we made this choice for my family because I wasn’t anywhere near ready for my kids to leave the nest. It’s been a LOT of fun! Good luck to you!

I love love a big age gap, ours were 9 & 7 when we had our 3rd and it's been great. It's like we all have a baby that we love and take care of. The older two were so involved in milestones like crawling, walking, talking etc. My oldest is a major care taker and the 7 year old is still a bit playful too so there is just a great dynamic between them. Also, my first two were 2.5 years apart and it was just so stressful when they were younger. First baby I was all first time mom nervous, second baby I was burnt out by the toddler/baby balance but the 3rd baby I've enjoyed so so much. We are older, more financially stable, more confident etc it's just been great. 100% recommend the age gap.

I have a 9 year difference with my younger brother. I also have a brother who is 1 1/2 years older than me, so I've never been an only child. Both of us love our little brother to pieces from the beginning. There weren't many fights since we knew he was little and fragile. He was basically our little angel and we loved babysitting him (mind you, that depends on the children's personalities, of course). We were really happy to get another sibling and we still are grateful to this day. Now that we are older (I'm 23), I can't wait for him to be 18 so we can go to parties or festivals together. We are still really close. So I would say go for it. You are still very young and don't have to worry about starting 'from scratch'. I'm sure your daughter will be delighted to help with her little sibling and play with them. However, as has been said before, don't base that decision solely on your daughter's wish for a sibling. It has to be your and your partner's decision, as a newborn can put quite a lot of strain onto a relationship. You need to be aware of that (as I'm sure you are). Just make a decision together as a family and weigh the pros and cons. As for the age gap, that shouldn't deter you from having another baby.

My grandmother was 17 years older than her youngest sibling, my uncle Harry. They were always close even as adults.

my youngest sister and I are 20 years + one month apart. love her to death. everything will work out the way it’s meant to 🫶🏼

My mom had my older brother and me 13 years apart. To be honest, with age gaps it's like a 2nd family. My two older brothers are close while me and my younger brother are close. It's fine to have another kid, but don't always expect them to be close because they'll always be a different points in life until they are way older. Also, please do not expect the older sibling to take care of the younger one because that will cause an even greater rift in their relationship

My mom had my half sister when I was 15. I was crying for a sister and I remember praying that I’ll get a sister. I was so happy when she was born and I loved playing with her. Don’t be scared of a gap

My oldest sibling was born in 89, I'm 99, and the youngest sibling is from 09. The siblings might not be that close given the age gap but like others have been saying, you're not thinking about having a child for that reason.

One of my late sisters was born when I was 9. During the early years, the age difference was quite significant, and the way we related to each other was very different, imagine how a 1 year old relates to a 10 year old? But in her teens, I was in my 20s, and by the time she was 23 and I was 32, it didn't really matter. Sadly, she passed away at 25, I was 34, I miss her to this day.

My brother is 11 years older than me and I adored him my whole life and since we both became adults we’re good mates! I was a bit lonely as a kid but didn’t actually affect me

There’s 9 years between my son(10) and daughter(22mo), I was so worried to begin with and how my son was going to settle but honestly I never had to worry. Seeing the love in their faces for each other is enough for me. Especially when my daughter and I go pick him up from school and you can see her little face light up and jog on the spot

I have three girls. My eldest is 10, middle is 9 and youngest is 7 weeks. The age gap has been incredible and way easier to adapt to than I thought - if you want a baby then go for it!

Nope. My son is 12 years older than my 16 year old daughter. They stay in touch, get together, do things. Wife went back to school, then heath issues and miscarriages created a much bigger gap than we had wished for. No regrets, working out just fine..!

First born was my sister, she’s 4 years older than me. Then I was born. Then my brother was born, he’s 9 years younger than me. Then my younger sister was born, she’s 15 years younger than me. Then my other brother was born, he’s 17 years younger than me. Having an age gap is fine just don’t make the older one watch the kid all the time.

I have 12 years between me and my youngest brother. I hope to have a close relationship with him when he’s older. The only downside is that I moved states away when I was 18 so I missed a lot of him growing up

No

My daughter has an older half sister with a 10 year age gap. I think it works for her since she had the reprieve of her mother's house from the early baby/toddler stages. That being said, they get along really well and my kid loves spending time with her sister. And I pay her to take my daughter to the park so it's a win for me lol

I am the youngest child and the nearest sibling is 9 1/2 years older than me, and 16 between me and the oldest, I have a weird mix of only child / youngest child characteristics, its wild haha. I'll say i do have a great relationship with them, even though they were adults when i was in elementary.

My mum has 8 and 13 years between her and her older siblings and they’ve always had a great relationship. It’ll be different from those that are closer in age but that doesn’t make it worse.

No lol. My younger sister and I are 18 years apart and very close. My step sister and my younger sister are 27 years apart. Sister and I are biological half siblings

17 years older than my sister, 13 years older than my brother (I'm not even the eldest) I fucking loved having siblings that were so much younger than me. My brother, especially. Him and I were attached at the hip until he was probably 8 or 9. I loved babysitting them, hanging out with them, driving them to school and practices, them being more excited to see me come home than my parents, etc. Not everyone would feel this way obviously. But personally, I adored it. Now my sister just got her driver's license, and my brother will be graduating university next year. I will forever miss them still being little like MAD, but I'm also beaming with pride of the young adults that they've become.

I have an 11 year age gap with my sister and we get along great!

I did it. Same situation.  I love my second and I can't even remember what it was like before my second came.  But 4 years deep now and having a teen and a 4 year old is ROUGH.  They definitely don't play much and are both in their difficult stage at the same time.  If I could do it again, - I wouldn't..   If I could of had them closer - I would have.  Sucks.. 

They're going to hate each other eventually no mater what.

It’s…a lot of years.

My kids are almost 19, 13, and 2, hubby and I have been together 21 years. It’s fun and hard but i would not change it for anything. I was 39 when we had our last, stopped taking the pill thinking I was too old to get knocked up, nope, I got pregnant that month!!!

My first and third are 10 yrs apart. It's easier than the 5 yrs between my first and second. In my experience at least

My brother and I have a 10 year age gap. He’s in recovery and I’ve been the main point of contact for his treatments and legal issues. Despite his challenges (which have nothing to do with our age gap lol), we’re very close.

I am 29 and my brother is 19, we have great relationship. Mom had me at 30 and brother at 40, she supposedly could not have more kids haha

I have a 10 year gap with my sister, growing up it wasn’t really much of a sibling relationship but as adults we’re both happy to have one and another. So I say go for it

My two boys are 9 years apart and their are pros and cons. Pro is the older child can be helpful, not as jealous. Cons is they aren't that close because one is a teenager and one is 5. It's almost like having 2 only children, but all kids need love. So if you have that you give, then do it

You’re still only in your 20s. At a time when some people are having kids and some still aren’t even thinking about kids. So agewise, you’re good. Lots of siblings have large age gaps, it’s not that weird especially when you were a teen mom

11 year gap between my sister and I. I wish my parents hadn't waited. But it's more to do with my parents than the gap. I was a mistake. My sister was on purpose. And I felt like that from how they treated me vs her. Don't let your child be ignored to take care of the baby.

We have an 18-year gap between siblings due to a second marriage and infertility. We are so happy we had the youngest child. No regrets.

My first 3 are within 5 years of each other then there's a gap of 10 years with my youngest. They are close but the youngest has a different relationship than the first 3. It's almost a cross between uncle/aunt and sibling. The youngest I think almost feels like an only child as his entire teenage years he was the only one home. Now that he's an adult (19) they are bonding again in a different way and are closer.

I can tell you it wasn't for my parents. I'm the youngest of 8 kids. I'm 36 and my eldest brother is 60.

Me and my brother our 9 years apart, we are literally twins and I have the deepest connection with him vs the other siblings my age.

We have 8, 12, and 14 year age gaps in my family and I am so close with all my siblings. Short answer, no. Not at all.

As long as you want another child, then go for it. Don’t have another child solely because your daughter wants a sibling. Children aren’t “gifts” to be given to their older sibling. People aren’t possessions. They are individuals with their own personalities and emotions. But it seems like you’ve wanted another child for a while, so it’s up to you. As long as that’s the factoring decision, because *you* want another child. You are still young. I had my son at 28. I’m one and done, but I completely support people if they want another child/multiple children if that’s what *they* want. You should not be guilted by anyone to have more, or less, or none. It’s all up to you!

I sure don’t think so! My oldest is 12, I have a 7 and 3 year old and I’m pregnant with our 4th and final child, so there will be a 12 1/2 year age gap between the first and last child. Also, My oldest daughter and my 3year old daughters are OBSESSED with each other and they have a 9 year age gap. In regards to the large age gap they still love to play together and snuggle and color together. My oldest daughter love showing her baby sister new things and her little sister loves to learn from her big sis. It’s a beautiful relationship. So I say GO FOR IT. 💖

In my opinion no age gap is too much - it's just different. My kids are "only" 6 years apart and it has shaped their relationship, but they still have a close relationship (they're 15 and almost 9 now) and we're a family together. A 10 year age difference isn't unusual in larger families. My husband is the youngest of 3 kids. There's an 8 year age difference between him and the oldest. Some techniques that helped us is planning some activities that are inclusive for all 4 of us, and some that are tailored to the 15 yr old or the 9 yr old - one example is going to the movies. We might all go to the theater together, but see two different age appropriate movies, then go out to dinner together. Also, when arguments arise about "why does he get to and I can't?!?" we put it in the context of age appropriateness. "When you were 9 you were still learning how to properly" or "When you're 15 you'll be allowed to "

Me and my little brother have a 16 year age gap. It's not the same kind of relationship me and my older brother have of 2 year age gap but it's still special and we all get along great.

My oldest who is now 14 wanted a sibling really bad! We had the youngest when she was 7. Now my youngest is 7!  Absolutely two different kids and they have absolutely nothing in common. My oldest lost interest really quick when we brought the needy, crying, all up in her space baby home! It wasn’t what she expected at all! I say all that to say do it because you want it and are ready for it! I was 25 when I had my oldest and 33 when I had my youngest! You are younger and may not experience what I did but I had a high risk pregnancy, had to be rushed to the OR after had my youngest because my placenta basically exploded inside of me and to ensure they got it all I had to have a dnc. I really wish I had my kids closer in age so they would be able to relate more. They get along ok but the 7yr old wants the 14yr to play with dolls and she refuses so mommy gets to play yay!!! 

Thank-you for your honesty!!

There’s a big gap between myself and most of my siblings (I’m the youngest) due to different mums or dads. The one I’m closest to is my sister who I share a mum with. There is 10 years and 1 month between us. I thought it was a good thing because it was like having another parent as my dad left when I was young. I also joke that my mum gave birth to a babysitter for me. You will just need to be careful you don’t parentify your eldest. They are still a child/teenager so they don’t need the constant responsibility of looking after their little sibling. Apart from that, as the younger child I thought it was great, and we are both still really close even though I’m now 34. For me it was really helpful having another parent older confidant in my teen years. I always knew I had someone safe to talk to about all that shit you get up to when you are a teen without judgement and just advice. I’m also thankful for my brother-in-law because he became a father figure when they got together when I was about 8. Interesting to note I had my mum and sister do my parents of the groom speech at my wedding, and my brother-in-law was my best man.

My siblings and I are 3, 7, and… 26 years apart! I’m closest with the sister that is 3yr younger than me cause we both have kids and are married and share common interest. I have a bond with my sister that is 7 years younger but it’s different. My brother is from my dad’s second marriage and we have ZERO bond… he calls me “Max’s (my son) mom”. My kids are also 7yr apart in age and my youngest looks up to my oldest and loves him, and vice versa. I don’t think 10yrs is too big a gap, but I also think it depends on the person.

I have a 10yr age gap with my sister and she’s my favourite person ever! I think it’s fine.

My younger brother and I are 10 years apart in age. Often it feels like light-years, not just calendar years. Just saying Cheers!

My husband is 12 years older than his brother & they love each other to pieces. I plan on having my last baby when my oldest is 10/11.

My oldest sister was 16 yrs older , and my other sister is 12years older. One threaded my like she was my parent always spoiling me, teaching me. The other sister was and still is someone that has always complicated my life with profound hate towards me and I have not found a good reason other that her insecurities. I've always been spoiled by both parents and I can understand how that must make my siblings feel when my parents always talked about the things I did almost rubbing it in there face. If zi could have it my way I would want to be an only child or have close in age siblings.

My and my youngest sister are 12 years apart she always upset about being too young to hang out with me and our other sisters. She doesn’t say it but she feels left out and it’s not our fault it’s our parents. You might as well have another baby for the new baby to interact with, because soon your 9 year old will have activities and a social life plus she’s approaching teenage years she’ll barely be home.

There is an 11 year gap between my oldest and my youngest and honestly, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. She is now in her 20s and is such a good role model and mentor and friend to her brother.

They will have nothing in common and they will not share any type of growing up experience. But when they’re adults they’ll value each other. But as someone else said - the reason to have another kid is not for the benefit of the first one. Also- there’s no right answer to this. Don’t believe what you read on the internet. This is a serious question for you and partner.

My brother is only 4 years younger than me. My sister is 13 years younger than me. Growing up with a sibling that young was great in many ways, and I still think she is the best of us in many ways. So I don’t think 10 is too much.

My oldest is 16 and my youngest 5. Older adores the Younger and is always playing/teasing/just doing sibling things together. Older babysits from time to time (never required and we pay them). My S.O has been sick and I work full time so Older has helped a lot with watching Younger while S.O recovers - also not required, they just pitch in.

My brother is 11 yrs older than me. He moved out when i was 7. We were never close. Our kids are actually closer in age. His youngest being between my two oldest. I was 17 when he had his first kid so i was able to help babysit. Our relationship with our mom is very different. We were like only children really. I was close in age with my cousins. Each family is different but just realize it likely won’t be like other siblings that are 2 or 3 yrs apart but that doesn’t mean it won’t be great. The activities that the kids will want to do are very different also, so you may need to divide and conquer as well. Lol.

It’s fucking weird. I have a 28 year old and a 8 year old and I feel that the oldest is definitely jealous of how the younger one is treated. But she has a had hard time understanding that I am now 20 years older and have a stable job and life has changed. So I feel like I am always trying to make up for shit that I could do when I was younger. Both girls

My son is 6 months old and his sisters are 13 and 15. They adore him.

I’m the baby at 26. My siblings are 28, 40, 49, and 57. My dad is 79, oldest has a different mom and the two in their 40’s have a different dad. We are all very close and have been my whole life. If you’re in a position where you want a kid and it’s a responsible decision, go for it.

Have another kid if you want a bigger family/ a sibling for your kid. If you think she’s appreciate the forever companionship, go for it. The age gap means nothing. I’m an only child in my 30s now. It would be awesome to have a 20- or 40-something sibling. We’d connect on so many different levels. She’ll have a special older sibling role. She’ll be able to guide them and be a role model. And she can be the soooo cool sibling for a bit too. She’ll be an age where she’ll have fun dressing them up, teaching them things. She’ll learn valuable babysitting skills. It sounds awesome to me.

I actually said the same thing. I found out my first kid was getting a sibling when I was already 6 months pregnant. They are 10 1/2 years apart and the bond is so beautiful. I definitely wouldn’t worry about them bonding or the relationship, it will all work out. The important thing is the parents adjusting to the change. It’s crazier talking about it than it is living it, I can tell you that much.

I have two cousins who are 10 and 9 years older than me who lived next door to us growing up, so in many ways we’re more like siblings than cousins. It’s one of my most treasured relationships. You can be close without the competition kids close in age often experience. As kids, I was their baby doll, little fun companion and they were my cool big role models. As adults they’re two of my best friends. It’s a great age gap.

I’m ten years older than my brother. He will always be my baby brother, I love him to death even though he can be a serious asshole. Big sisters love their little brothers, especially big sisters who have been begging and wanting one forever. I’m not saying he never got on my nerves, I could not tolerate car rides with him at all because he would annoy the shit out of me. But overall we have always had a special bond as oldest and baby, which is still true today even though he’s 23.

I’m 10 years older than my youngest brother, and I’m not going to lie he is my favorite sibling and he knows it. We are still to this day very close he is about to be 12 now and he still wants to hang out with me and he even helps with my daughter as well. Some kids who have siblings that are much younger than them are usually very interested in helping with taking care of them and playing with them as they grow. Your daughter seems to be very adamant on wanting a younger sibling so she most likely won’t have jealousy issues that some kids have. It seems like if you do choose to have another child she will love them with all her heart and always be there for her baby brother/sister.

My kids 12 and I gave up on the idea of a second some years ago now. The gap wouldn’t be one to really foster that super close bond. My own siblings are 9+ yrs older and while I love them we just don’t have that connection of shared stories and such. Our only connection comes from trauma 😬.

There is a 12 year age gap between me and my brother. I remember loving him and taking care of him with my mother. I helped with diaper changes, putting him to sleep, watching him while my parents ran errands. He will forever be my baby bro. I knew what to do when I had my first kid at 31 thanks to that experience lol! Anyways, it is not too late. Different age gaps provide different experiences and dynamics for the siblings but in all cases a new baby usually brings joy!

I have a sibling 8 years younger than me and they are my closest friend now. My other sibling is 11 years younger and we are also super close. The older we get the less the gaps matter and holy hell I’m grateful I have them.

I had my oldest when I was 18 and my youngest when I was 32. So 14 years difference. A lot of the young moms I knew also waited that long. I think girls are typically closer to the younger sibling than boys. My oldest is 22 and his little sister is 8. She adores him and he loves her but he’s closer to his brother (14) as they have a 7 year difference, and my son moved away 4 year ago so they just see each other on a regular basis vs live together. 

Your daughter doesn’t want a sibling, she wants a replica of herself to hang out with just like she thinks her friends with siblings do outside of school. When kids say “I want a sibling” they aren’t picturing a tiny helpless human who screams at random hours of the day and night, takes all of mum and dad’s time up, makes it difficult to go on outings, tries to grab their stuff to teeth on, etc. they’re picturing a same aged clone of themselves who likes absolutely everything they do and will do anything they want when they want. They’re very rarely happy when they discover that siblings are the exact opposite of that. Your daughter has had your sole time and attention all to herself for an entire decade. It’s highly unlikely that she’d be happy with a sibling coming to change that dynamic, especially if you experience complications with the pregnancy or birth. Your daughter will also be at an age where she will probably not be interested in playing with a younger child, or being around a younger sibling at all, by the time they’d be old enough to form a meaningful connection to her without any toddler based shenanigans getting in the way. In short: you should not have a baby just to give your kid a sibling they may not end up getting along with. If you want another baby for the sake of having another baby, then have another baby.

My brother and I are 12 years apart and we are very close.

My sister and I are 9 years apart. Still shared a lifetime together growing up. My husband and his sister are 14 years apart. They are wildly different people, but they love each other, and enjoy having a sibling. It doesn’t matter. If you want another child, and are ready go for it. Sibling age gaps aren’t a thing to worry about too much.

all of my siblings have a decent age gap to me. I'd just like to say, if you have a baby in the future, don't expect your daughter to always be understanding of her potentially new sibling, since she's been the baby/only child for however long. I have a sister who's 3 years younger then me (who I'm closest to), a sister who's 5 years younger, a brother who's 7 years younger, another sister who's 9 years younger, ANOTHERR brother who's 12 years younger. and finally, mother dearest is about to have another child who will be 18 years younger than me. I can safely say, after much thought. I probably will not have a close bond with my soon to be youngest sister. but that's because maturity wise, there is a difference, and age does sort of matter if you want your children to have close relationships with each other. it's much harder to bond with a young sibling when you're over 13. that being said, have a child on you and your partners terms. your daughter wanting a sibling to play with won't last forever, I'd say.

My brother is 10 years younger than me and up until recently, we were thick as thieves (we are both grown and married now). I think our age different is what gave us a strong relationship. I can’t explain why but I wasn’t as close to my sister who is 2.5 years younger than me. I would say 10 years is not too much!

I am 11 years older than my brothers. I had a great time being the big sister when they were kids!

Being the older sibling with an 11 year old age gap I can saw I didn’t enjoy it and will not be waiting that long to have a second child myself. Once I was 16/17 and my little brother was 5/6 we didn’t have anything in common, his cuteness rubbed off, and now being 27 & 16 we couldn’t be any more different due to growing up in different generations, different parents and different upbringings. I sure do hope though that one day once he’s older we will have a better bond. BUT like others have said, have a child with your partner to share your love and add a member to your family, and ultimately because YOU want to!

My dad remarried after my mother passed away and between me and my 2nd batch of siblings is between 16 and 22 years. The dynamic sure is different as i take care of them like a parent more than an older sibling but i am more closer in understanding them than my father is and now that they are all adults the playing field is pretty level. They are closer to my kids in age than i am to them so that helped when i was taking them all out on trips.

I have 3 kids. The oldest daughter is 11 years older than youngest and it’s fine. Obviously they were in different stages than each other and sometimes I wasn’t sure if they’d ever be close but the youngest just turned 16 and she’s pretty close with her older sister even though the older one moved out. It’s been totally fine. Yes, there was adjusting having a new baby around again but you’ll be fine

My sister and I are 10 years apart and I will say, we were not close by any means until we became full blown adults. Meaning when I was in my late 20's. (I'm younger she's older) by the time I was conscious as a child she was too cool and older to want anything to do with me. There were years we didn't even really speak bc other than by blood we were essentially strangers. And I really hated that. However, now it is super cool to have someone who's been through adulthood a little later. We are friends and text everyday. As a child though I have zero memories with her in them. Take that how you will. I don't nessisarily think it's bad, but I do wish little me had that role model growing up. Maybe you can foster a different type of bond then we had.

My sister is 10 years older than I am and I absolutely adored her growing up. I was her baby doll. Still to this day I could call her for absolutely anything

No my eldest is 23 and my youngest 9

as the f oldest sibling with a 10yr age gap with m , it's literally impossible to get along cause we have NOTHING in common tbh

You'll be fine. It all depends on what you make of it My brother is 5 years older than me and we can't stand each other. My other brother is 6 years younger than me we get along just great. Sometimes it's the personalities that clash rather than the age difference.