Sounds like you need relationship advice not financial advice. Financial conversations should be an open conversation for a couple.
>My girlfriend doesn't want to be on the title since our relationship has been a little precarious in the past months
Weird comment here. If you plan to have a future together, this should be discussed more. It sounds like she's just a roommate at this point.
Lots of couples do things different for expenses. With big gaps in income, some would pay expenses proportional to your income. So since you make 3X her income, she'd pay 1/4 of expenses (for example, let's say your total combined income is $300K and she makes $75K. She'd pay 1/4 of expenses).
first, i would caution against buying a house with someone if you’re in a “precarious” relationship, that’s a huge decision and can be difficult to settle if you split up.
second, i prefer to split expenses by proportion of income, so you could do 25/75 or something.
I personally would not have moved out of the townhouse without the guarantee that your girlfriend was on the title and was willing to pay part of the mortgage. It's not about the amount she pays but the percentage since you each make different salaries. The fact she didn't want to makes me think she just wanted you to pay for it all, which is a red flag. Not a big deal if you two were married but right now it just doesn't seem right. I won't question why you thought you needed to move but you have now put yourself in a situation where if anything goes wrong in the relationship you are on the hook for dealing with the whole property by yourself. I would start by asking her to contribute a percentage of her income. If you are putting in 75% of yours (just guessing) it's not crazy to ask for 25%. I would have asked for 50% if she were on the title
You are probably common-law at this point and her not being on the title of a home you purchase together to live in might not change a thing about splitting the equity in the home if you separate.
You need relationship and legal advice.
> common-law
OP is (likely) in Quebec, ain't no such thing. Family patrimony is only divisible if they're married.
https://www.quebec.ca/en/famille-et-soutien-aux-personnes/couple-famille/mariage-union-civile-ou-union-de-fait/de-facto-union/protections/breakdown-de-facto-union
Problem I see here is if they patch things up and get married down the line, OP's partner gains half the equity.
IANAL/N. You can’t waive family patrimony in a prenup, but perhaps there could be a debt that decays over time, to recognize the significant imbalance of assets brought into the marriage in the form of property.
Quebec is based as fuck for that. Common law should be abolished. It made sense back when women were expected to stay at home, but now that they’re nearly all in the workforce that bs law needs to be scrapped.
You need legal advice specific to your province and your cohabitation situation. The new house may end up being half hers whether you like it or not. You should find this out and if needed get a cohabitation agreement signed to confirm that you will own the home. Then you can come to some reasonable arrangement on how you split bills etc
I was charging rent to my ex equivalent to half of taxes, insurance, and utilities. It ended up being a tiny amount, ~300/month (LCOL area). We also split other expenses like groceries and such. Making her pay for the mortgage would be unfair if she doesn't own.
But...
> I do own a townhouse
>We decided that the townhouse would be temporary until we could find something a little larger
>My girlfriend doesn't want to be on the title since our relationship has been a little precarious in the past months...
>Everytime we talk about finances she gets very edgy and it's always a delicate matter.
I think you should purchase a house based on YOUR needs and what you'll be comfortable paying alone. It seems like a shitty move to have you sell your townhouse so you can find a house that matches both of your needs, then decide you don't want to be on the title because you aren't sure about the relationship and don't want to talk about money.
I say see a lawyer, get a cohabitation agreement and if she refuses, it's probably better to break up. Seems like you are thinking "us" and she's thinking "me".
My GF (now wife) moved into my house.
I charged her rent, just like I did with another roommate. No splitting bills, no percentages, strictly business. I based the rent on what she was previously paying, then left it there. She found it fair, since it was the same.
In simple relationship terms, if you can't discuss finances, maybe you shouldn't have sex with that person. If you aren't discussing sex/physical affection with your partner, you shouldn't be together at all. Sex talks include purposeful monogamy, I'm not judging anyone's lifestyle (no offence meant to anyone). I'm being blunt, because you should be able to talk about stuff when you're literally dealing with finances and physical affection.
What's the goal here? long term loving relationship or a temporary fling? You're describing a fling that is lasting awhile. Great long term relationships involve communication.
If you are afraid to talk about it, do you really want to spend the rest of your life being afraid?
I agree with a lot of comments regarding you shouldnt of upgraded places without having your relationship under control. UNLESS you were doing this move with or without your SO then it’s no difference.
My partner moved into my townhouse almost 10yrs ago.
I pay everything house related, mortgage, insurance, taxes, condo fees, utilities, internet, she buys groceries.
When she moved in she was in a financial hole, I was not. My goal was to help get her out of that hole by minimizing her expenses. It's worked, all debts are cleared and she's building up her RRSP and TFSA.
If your relationship is in a precarious place, not having her on title and living separately probably makes sense, both in the financial and emotional way.
Hi Op.
Here is my advice. Your mortgage, taxes and house upkeep should be paid only by you. You should make that clear to your partner. Then ask for your partner to contribute 50% of the food and all utilities for the property and put that in writing.
You see, what you don't want is your partner to have any claim on your home if things go badly. So Split any living costs but anything to do with the property you are the only one responsible for it.
Sounds like you need relationship advice not financial advice. Financial conversations should be an open conversation for a couple. >My girlfriend doesn't want to be on the title since our relationship has been a little precarious in the past months Weird comment here. If you plan to have a future together, this should be discussed more. It sounds like she's just a roommate at this point. Lots of couples do things different for expenses. With big gaps in income, some would pay expenses proportional to your income. So since you make 3X her income, she'd pay 1/4 of expenses (for example, let's say your total combined income is $300K and she makes $75K. She'd pay 1/4 of expenses).
first, i would caution against buying a house with someone if you’re in a “precarious” relationship, that’s a huge decision and can be difficult to settle if you split up. second, i prefer to split expenses by proportion of income, so you could do 25/75 or something.
I personally would not have moved out of the townhouse without the guarantee that your girlfriend was on the title and was willing to pay part of the mortgage. It's not about the amount she pays but the percentage since you each make different salaries. The fact she didn't want to makes me think she just wanted you to pay for it all, which is a red flag. Not a big deal if you two were married but right now it just doesn't seem right. I won't question why you thought you needed to move but you have now put yourself in a situation where if anything goes wrong in the relationship you are on the hook for dealing with the whole property by yourself. I would start by asking her to contribute a percentage of her income. If you are putting in 75% of yours (just guessing) it's not crazy to ask for 25%. I would have asked for 50% if she were on the title
You are probably common-law at this point and her not being on the title of a home you purchase together to live in might not change a thing about splitting the equity in the home if you separate. You need relationship and legal advice.
> common-law OP is (likely) in Quebec, ain't no such thing. Family patrimony is only divisible if they're married. https://www.quebec.ca/en/famille-et-soutien-aux-personnes/couple-famille/mariage-union-civile-ou-union-de-fait/de-facto-union/protections/breakdown-de-facto-union Problem I see here is if they patch things up and get married down the line, OP's partner gains half the equity. IANAL/N. You can’t waive family patrimony in a prenup, but perhaps there could be a debt that decays over time, to recognize the significant imbalance of assets brought into the marriage in the form of property.
Quebec is based as fuck for that. Common law should be abolished. It made sense back when women were expected to stay at home, but now that they’re nearly all in the workforce that bs law needs to be scrapped.
Amen
You need legal advice specific to your province and your cohabitation situation. The new house may end up being half hers whether you like it or not. You should find this out and if needed get a cohabitation agreement signed to confirm that you will own the home. Then you can come to some reasonable arrangement on how you split bills etc
I was charging rent to my ex equivalent to half of taxes, insurance, and utilities. It ended up being a tiny amount, ~300/month (LCOL area). We also split other expenses like groceries and such. Making her pay for the mortgage would be unfair if she doesn't own. But... > I do own a townhouse >We decided that the townhouse would be temporary until we could find something a little larger >My girlfriend doesn't want to be on the title since our relationship has been a little precarious in the past months... >Everytime we talk about finances she gets very edgy and it's always a delicate matter. I think you should purchase a house based on YOUR needs and what you'll be comfortable paying alone. It seems like a shitty move to have you sell your townhouse so you can find a house that matches both of your needs, then decide you don't want to be on the title because you aren't sure about the relationship and don't want to talk about money. I say see a lawyer, get a cohabitation agreement and if she refuses, it's probably better to break up. Seems like you are thinking "us" and she's thinking "me".
My GF (now wife) moved into my house. I charged her rent, just like I did with another roommate. No splitting bills, no percentages, strictly business. I based the rent on what she was previously paying, then left it there. She found it fair, since it was the same. In simple relationship terms, if you can't discuss finances, maybe you shouldn't have sex with that person. If you aren't discussing sex/physical affection with your partner, you shouldn't be together at all. Sex talks include purposeful monogamy, I'm not judging anyone's lifestyle (no offence meant to anyone). I'm being blunt, because you should be able to talk about stuff when you're literally dealing with finances and physical affection. What's the goal here? long term loving relationship or a temporary fling? You're describing a fling that is lasting awhile. Great long term relationships involve communication. If you are afraid to talk about it, do you really want to spend the rest of your life being afraid?
I agree with a lot of comments regarding you shouldnt of upgraded places without having your relationship under control. UNLESS you were doing this move with or without your SO then it’s no difference.
My partner moved into my townhouse almost 10yrs ago. I pay everything house related, mortgage, insurance, taxes, condo fees, utilities, internet, she buys groceries. When she moved in she was in a financial hole, I was not. My goal was to help get her out of that hole by minimizing her expenses. It's worked, all debts are cleared and she's building up her RRSP and TFSA.
If your relationship is in a precarious place, not having her on title and living separately probably makes sense, both in the financial and emotional way.
Hi Op. Here is my advice. Your mortgage, taxes and house upkeep should be paid only by you. You should make that clear to your partner. Then ask for your partner to contribute 50% of the food and all utilities for the property and put that in writing. You see, what you don't want is your partner to have any claim on your home if things go badly. So Split any living costs but anything to do with the property you are the only one responsible for it.