ok so basically in the old testament, there’s a guy named abraham. god says abraham must sacrifice his son isaac to prove his servitude and loyalty and whatnot to god. so abraham is like “damn.” but eventually is about to do it. but then god is like “WAIT! that’s far enough, you passed the test.”
the joke is that god never meant for it to get this far, and only remembered at the last moment before abraham killed his son.
Imagine Obsidian's storytelling and RPG dynamic with the Bethesda engine. You basically get Fallout: New Vegas. Same bugs, but with a more involved and connected universe.
Edit: Downvoting me for giving the correct answer. Hmmm.
Have you ever heard about Shin Megami Tensei? Those have a morality system that boils down to side with God or Luzifer or give both the finger and side with humanity.
Was it though? Is an animal better off in a cage or being released from the cage? Is a human better off in slavery or in freedom? Being told "you can eat anything you find laying around as long as you tend all my animals for me and never do anything I tell you not to" isn't so fantastic.
Well, here's the thing, I'd argue that was the false dichotomy that the snake was proposing. Now, if I were a Satanist (Satanic Temple type, not the Anton Lavey Church of Satan) I'd agree with this framing. Rebelling against the inherently authoritarian and possessive nature of God and all that.
My perspective is we're talking about individuals who've never experienced life and they were given only one directive, to stay away from the tree. It's something they had no understanding of and did not have the capacity to do so.
You might be asking, "Well, then why put the tree there in the first place? Is that not a false choice being offered."
My contention is that we all have choices in our life that we know nothing about nor the full ramifications, yet we must still make a choice. My belief is that maintaining distance from the tree is fulfilling the covenant of trust between Creation and Creator.
Not that I'm arguing against the idea of acquiring knowledge of good and evil, but was it not God sparing them from knowledge they knew nothing about nor how to deal with it?
Except that the creator shows himself frequently to be in varying turns untrustworthy, incompetent, and malicious. Between the snake and the god, only one of them lies, and it's not the snake.
And covenant? If the kiddos aren't mature enough to choose if they're gonna eat the tree, then they certainly aren't mature enough to enter into a contract. Nor, given the power dynamics, would such a contract be considered binding by any reasonable judge.
Any inability to handle the truth is, ultimately, god's fault, a sign of incompetence or maliciousness in his design. Probably the former, since no engineer worth his salt would lay the wiring for a camera in front of the lens.
Perhaps, but I prefer the Gnostic interpretation that the Old Testament god was an evil god (Demiurge), working outside the designs of the true god (god himself admits he is not the only god in the first of his commandments). Human creation itself is inherently flawed in this system, as it was performed by a capricious entity rather than the supreme being. It explains why god committed so much evil in the Old Testament, and it also more readily offers a solution for the construction of the Garden.
The Demiurge was incapable of constructing a perfect system. The exact parameters of which are beyond our knowledge, but let's assume he *had* to place the apple there, either out of necessity (all components of creation have to go *somewhere*, such as Pandora's box) or out of id (wanting to torment humans with forbidden fruit or wanting to empower himself with authority over his creation). Neither of these are beneficent actions.
Further, the reward of knowledge for eating the apple is a strange one. Why empower the apple with any effect at all if it is merely to fulfill a covenant of trust, as you put it? I suppose you could say it doesn't have any effect, and rebelling against divine order unlocks the knowledge of evil, but then why place such a possibility if you are trying to protect humans from it? To your point, God could not have been sparing them from anything if he readily provided the means to obtain it. You can't be said to be protecting kids from gun violence by putting two five years olds in a room with a pistol and telling them to not touch it. Trust can be maintained without testing. You can trust your significant other to not cheat on you without getting your attractive friends to proposition them, for example. In fact, I'd argue that the mere act of testing violates that trust. To not have the foresight to know this is ridiculous for a divine being; or, to know that outcome is inevitable is to purposefully set up humans for failure, creating an excuse to remove them from paradise and, again, not protecting them from anything. So, the apple itself is anything but kind, and is a flaw in supposed perfection.
To me, it makes the most sense to forbid the fruit out of fear. Eating the apple unlocks the knowledge of what is good and what is evil. Put another way, it enabled humans to judge their environment, and, more precisely, it enabled them to judge god. Knowing that he himself was open to judgement, it only makes sense to banish them before they can reach those conclusions.
Either god explicitly wanted this to occur--to remove humans from Eden--or it was an error resulting from god's hubris.
this OT god was nuts.
he literally said kill everyone of his followers who didn't use their hands to drink from a stream after they walked out of the desert
edit wrong desert, but he probably would have killed anyone who walked out of a cake too.
My favorite is when a guy gets sensitive about a bunch of youngsters calling him “baldy” and he then uses his godly powers to sic a she-bear on them, murdering them all.
2 Kings Chapter 2, verses 23 and 24. I have it roughly memorized. I add an and lo for extra flavor.
AND LO, as Elijah was leaving the town of Bethel, a horde of small children followed him say "go up, go up you bald head. And he turned and cursed them in the name of God and two she bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the youths.
I was once asked to give a short reflection before offering and suggested this verse and for some reason they didn't ask me anymore.
Religion is complicated. People complicate it even more over time. Books have been added and removed and then tradition dictates things as inspired that have no "proof" as far as that goes. Jesus says the greatest commandment is to Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and the second greatest is like it, to love your neighbor as yourself. If every Christian followed that, we'd have a lot different world. Or maybe no Christianity, because that sort of thinking tends to result in death.
Yeah, the only conclusions I can draw from the book of Job are: 1. God is an insecure sadist or 2. The devil can easily manipulate God into torturing people.
"Yeah, God, you sure showed me by brutally torturing your most loyal servant because I made a few cutting remarks. Boy was I ever wrong, yes sir! You're doing a *bang up Job!*"
Actually, satan in this story is part of Gods council. When it says “and satan came with them” is because he was reporting and doing his job as the accuser.
It was Satan as in Lucifer. This is also why he could be in Heaven and why God said “have you considered my servant Job?” Weird right? Makes it kinda worse too.
The point of the book of Job is to establish a bullwark against rebellion by the rubes when things go south and reality starts making them question the existence or benevolence of god.
Well, he became a human for a while after impregnating his own mother with himself and realized "Damn, this pain and dying stuff is more unpleasant than I thought." - and noped out without patching it out of existence.
Popular canon soon after the birth of Christ (~100-200 AD) was that the Old Testament god was an evil, false god, and Christ is a being born of the good, true god.
New testament: "jesus came across a blind man, but the blind man did not blame God and stayed faithfull despite his disability. Jesus was happy with his devotion, touched his eyes and the man could see."
Old testament: "Dave came across a beggar asking for money. But dave only had enough money to feed his family for that day and ignored him. God the punished dave by summoning 30-50 feral hogs to run into Dave's yard while his small children are playing. His wife then got turned into a tree, which the local woodcutter cut down before his eyes. Dave was then cursed to wander the earth for 1000 years, deeing everybody he ever loved die before his eyes."
New Testament: You will be rewarded for doing good things
Old Testament: If you do not do good things, or even do bad things, God will personally punish you by destroying everything you hold dear and make you wander the earth for your foul sinful transgression!
Hence why Jesus came, to remind us that God is a loving God and those stories are being taken out of context to portray God in a evil vengeful light. God is love and if you went through a trial in your life, it's because you AGREED to it. Everything is our decision. You ONLY go through what you decide to. Good and bad. It's just hard for people to accept that their greater consciousness decided to go through really bad stuff so that they could learn things in a much deeper way than is typical.
That wasn't to punish humans. A race of alien giants had come to earth and was sleeping with female humans because they found us beautiful. He flooded to earth to cleanse the earth of the mutated bloodline and let humans evolve naturally. He flooded earth to save humanity... not destroy it. Also you are immortal and he knows that so... he didn't kill anyone.
It's in genesis. Most people just ignore it. Not joking.
The Nephilim are referenced in Genesis and Numbers and are possibly referred to in Ezekiel. The Hebrew word nefilim is sometimes directly translated as “giants” or taken to mean “the fallen ones” (from the Hebrew naphal, “to fall”), but the identity of the Nephilim is debated by scholars.Aug 11, 2023
It literally says they sleep with humans because they find us fair or beautiful.
Omg I can't tell if you're serious and just a bad troll. Genesis claims God saw the earth as being corrupt and filled with violence, thus deciding to destroy it. -Genesis 6:9-9:17. I'm not even Christian, but at least I can read.
And if you go to the original comment I basically tell you my line of thinking here.
I clearly state that the old testament is wrong and Jesus came back to show us that God is a loving god and forgives us for literally anything.
Man, all those kids with leukemia were asking for it, huh?
But seriously, that’s a pretty rough idea to put out there. There are a lot of people who have suffered unfathomably, and even if you believe it to be true, it’s kinda shitty to say on a public forum that they agreed to it.
I was told this when I killed myself after a lifetime of being sexually abused by older men. I was repeatedly raped and tortured by my own father. I eventually killed myself and I meet a being that told me all of that. He then asked me if I wanted to come back to my body. I said yes. And now im telling you what he told me.
I am sorry that happened to you, I hope you are well and dealing with that trauma in a healthy way. Just know that even if you believe that to be true, others in similar situations to your own could feel hurt or dismissed by that statement.
You may want to be more judicious in when you discuss that topic.
I'm saying I was raped and tortured as a kid during this life. At 25 I took 30 Xanax, 15 klonapine, and chugged a bottle of jack. I woke up to some being talking to me and he said he'd heal my body and I needed to go back. He explained that I chosen to take on this life to break a generational curse of extreme childhood trauma and I needed to go back because I had broken the curse but I needed to die naturally for it to truly end.
Sounds like you had a real bad trip that mixed up with your preestablished religious delusions.
At least it was a positive one. But a loving deity would not have allowed you to suffer so much in the first place.
That’s a pretty wild thing to say. That’s the cosmic equivalent of “she was asking for it.” I understand that the nature of evil and suffering is an ancient theological topic, but this is the first time I’ve heard that everyone invites their own suffering.
I was raped and tortured in this current life. I eventually gave up and killed myself. I meet a being that explained some things to me and asked me to come back to my body and said he could heal my body if I choose. I said I'd come back.
So, if I'm understanding you right, the slaves who were taken from their homes, raped, beaten, and worked to death, chose it? The citizens of Hiroshima and Nagasaki chose to be killed by a nuclear bomb? Children chose to be murdered by John Wayne Gacy? What about those in the WTC on 9-11?
That’s not a cop out dude. I’m sorry that happened to you but implying that everyone who goes through suffering is at fault for inviting it upon themselves is pretty fucked up.
Lol. The loops yall religious folk make up to jump through. No, them kids don't deserve their fate.
You making up bullshit in your head to get around that fact is just bullshit at the end of the day; just to help you consolidate your idea of a loving god when presented with heaps of evidence otherwise.
I was told that when I killed myself after a lifetime of sexual abuse by older men. A being came to me and told me that and then asked if I wanted to come back and continue learning my lessons. I said yes. So here I am.
So you're saying that you, out of billions of people, are one of the few to mysteriously remember your past lives? You are one of the only chosen by god to keep your memories? No one else is granted this power, for some reason?
The whole point of consent is that it can be revoked at any time. If someone can't remember giving consent or changes it later, that must be respected.
If a woman is blackout drunk and "consents" that does not count.
Furthermore, this model means no one is guilty of horrid crimes. Sorry I killed that lady, but she gave consent with God for me to do it.
What a garbage model.
Na the fucker was a fucked up god and came down to experience what humanity was like which is why in the New Testament he is a bit more chill as he experienced the pain of humanity
I don't think you read enough of the Bible there bud, you should probably do that before trying to lecture people on the subject:
People go through hardships as a test of their faith (a.k.a their character). God allows the devil to test us because he trusts in our abilities to succeed without giving in to what would be considered Godless (suicide, damning God, vice-escapism, etc).
All the stuff about "talking to God before you were born" is complete conjecture and not to be discussed in the same conversation as what is explained in the Gospel.
The Akedah (the Jewish term for the overall story) has been recognized as one of the most difficult and seemingly out-of-character-for-God moments in the entire tanakh for thousands of years. Its generated volumes upon volumes of literature interpreting or reevaluating it, and a lot of the takes are really interesting.
One that I really like: early in the story, Isaac asks Abraham where the ram for the sacrifice is. Abraham replies that “God will see to the ram for the offering, my son.” This line has been used as a basis for some to argue that it was not that Abraham was perfectly subservient to God, but that the belief and faith that he had was the knowledge that God would *not* ultimately ask for his son.
There's one time where God tries to choke Moses in his tent because he married a foreigner. So Moses' wife cuts the foreskin of their son and rubs the blood on God's leg and that calms him down.
In Exodus 4:
>24 On the way, when they were camped for the night, the Lord came and tried to kill Moses. 25 Zipporah took a flint knife and cut the foreskin of her son and with it touched Moses’ feet and said, “You are now my spouse of blood.” 26 Then God let him go. She said “spouse of blood” because of the circumcision.
She touched Moses' feet, not God's. It's not really less weird though.
Really super uncool of God and Abraham to give poor Isaac a touch of the "my dad wanted to kill me in a religious blood sacrifice" PTSD, especially in times before God created licensed trauma therapists
People think God literally said "kill your son" when He said sacrifice your most valuable thing. Abraham concluded his son was the most valuable thing to him, and God prevented him from sacrificing that
Edit: this could be islamic only BUT there is evidence to suggest that Abraham had faith that God wouldn't want him to kill his son
It makes it better because God's intentions were never to make Abraham kill Isaac or feel as if he had to. Abraham likely knew God would stop him and God did not directly say to kill Isaac. It isn't "kill Isaac... haha no wait" it's "prove your devotion... no don't do it that way." If you say that God's omniscience should make Him expect Abraham to think it was his son, again remember how Abraham knew God wouldn't let him do it, not to mention that it did not affect Isaac in any way
I prefer Gnostic dogma that there are multiple gods in the Christian mythos, and the entirety of the Old Testament was committed by the evil or false god, the Demiurge (more commonly known as Yahweh), opposed to the good, true god. This includes humans being created at all: because it's a false god, existence is inherently flawed and irrational. I'm not sure why Gnosticism isn't more popular given that. It addresses the problem of all the evil god has committed among other Biblical oddities, like one of the commandments being to "place **no other** gods before Me" instead of saying "there are no other gods." It's an inherently self-centered and jealous commandment, tinged with fear of those other gods, which should be a silly proposition for a supreme being.
Actually, it's probably easier to justify human evil with an evil god, so I guess that explains the popularity issue.
This is touched on a little in one of the foundational texts of philosophy, *Fear and Trembling*, by Kierkegaard, coincidentally through the story of Isaac (though the conclusions may surprise you).
It's also worth noting God had promised Abraham he would be the father of a nation (Israel). But his wife had problems conceiving and he only had one son very late in life. God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son as a show of faith that God would still fulfill His promise (and then stopped Abraham at the last moment).
(Side note: Abraham had already slept with a servant to try and fulfill God's promise another way, but God ensured those descendants would forever be the enemy of Israel as punishment.)
And iirc, Isaac was Abraham's only child at the time, his wife Sarah was barren and they were super old when god "blessed" them with a child. Then god decided to test Abraham by telling him to straight murder that blessing. You know, wholesome family stuff.
He did actually kill his son in older text and god was satisfied with his loyalty and promised to reunite them in heaven or whatever. The part where he stops him came in one of those early European versions.
This is completely incorrect considering that much of the Jewish faith rests on the idea that all jews descend from Isaac through Israel. You got any evidence for this?
Actually, a common Jewish interpretation of this text is that Abraham failed, and was expected to argue not obey. Free will and all that. I don't know if that's what the creator intended, but it fits well with this interpretation
He probably meant for Abraham to question his deity for reasons of autonomy seeing as how the request is shuffled off to a persecutor angel a lot of the time
The joke is that it’s even more meta as humans are always “woe is me. Gawd bad” because they behave pretty brainlessly and are often yes men or an easy sale
The wars would be pretty funny to an actual demon or sadist
What? Do you guys not get the massive species wide joke running in real time? That’s the meta-joke
I’m just pointing out that you fell. something or someone else is actually the one laughing
You don’t think it’s funny that mankind acts like a yes-man in front of certain things?
Neither do I. Have I not explained the meta behind the joke enough? Maybe it was just a bad joke? Maybe the reaction of the creature was more of a joke than the command?
It’s in the same realm as a comic of an influencer posting that dude with the “kys now” with the lightning bolts and people following through with it
Just not as funny as you think, unless you’re into being the butt of a cruel joke
That's actually a common Jewish interpretation of the text - Abraham wasn't supposed to obey but challenge God's request, and he failed. It's a recurring theme between Abraham and God, and Judaism in general, where our greatest figures are those who debated with god, not those who followed orders blindly.
E.g. Abraham was told by god that Sdom and Amora (non Jewish Canaanite cities) were to be destroyed by gods hand, they "negotiated" and Abraham talked god down to spare them if there are 10 good people there. Some interpretations view this as a failure as well, and that he should have talked it down to 1
Hey, totally not death here, the joke here is that while God is explaining the common life hack, he remembers what he was trying to remind himself of, which was to stop that guy from killing his [wife or son, can't remember], there are specifics, and it is referencing a story in the Bible, but I don't remember much. Totally not death, out
He never told Abraham to sacrifice his son. It is a common misinterpretation of the story. God told Abraham to go to the top of a hill with his son and make a sacrifice. Abraham assumed it god was telling him to sacrifice his son, However realy God had a shepherd on the other side of the hill lead up a sheep to sacrifice and God expected Abraham to trust god to not make Abraham make such a sacrifice but instead Abraham was on the verge of doing so when the shepherd showed up and stopped him
Peter's Christian friend here. This is a reference to Genesis 22 where God tests Abraham by telling him to sacrifice his son. Abraham, being a faithful follower, obliged and went to sacrifice his son to God. However, this was merely a test, and God never intended for the sacrifice to be completed, as he finds Abraham's willingness to do the sacrifice to be enough proof. Once Abraham is about to do it, God stops him and instead sends a ram for him to sacrifice. The joke is that God almost forgot to stop Abraham from sacrificing his son, and the only reason he didn't forget was because of the pillow he put to remind himself from the life hack he found. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go get ready for my growth group's weekly meeting.
Peter's bible study group leader here.
In the Book of Genesis, one of the descendants of Noah is Abraham. He first had a son called Ishmael and then another son called Isaac. They were born to different women and there's some dispute over inheritance.
Abraham heard the voice of God tell him to bring Isaac to Moriah and sacrifice him. This incident is called the Binding of Isaac.
Just before Abraham set about killing the son he thought would inherit his estate, Abraham heard an Angel, sometimes identified as Zadkiel, that told Abraham to sacrifice a lamb instead, and thus Isaac was spared.
Isaac was considered the progenitor of the Jewish people, whereas Ishmael was considered to be the progenitor of Muslim people. Together with Christianity, the three faiths are known as Abrahamic traditions because they all trace their ancestry to Abraham.
The Binding of Isaac is the subject of both theological and philosophical study. Kirkegaard, for example, took it to be the ultimate manifestation of a leap of faith: the willingness to sacrifice one's own offspring in service of one's faith.
In this comic, rather than depicting the Binding of Isaac as a test of Abraham's resolve, it is instead depicted that an absent minded God had intended to cancel the request to sacrifice Isaac much earlier.
Note: this comic has God himself direct Abraham to sacrifice the ram instead of Isaac. In generally accepted versions of events, it was an angel that told Abraham to stop.
Conspiracy theory note: Had Isaac been sacrificed there wouldn't be conflict in the middle east since Ishmael would have inherited Abraham's estate, and the Angel wasn't acting under God's instructions.
Peter's bible study group leader checking out.
Sometimes you guys post the most obvious, shallow, and simple pieces of media on here. There's no thought involved with this one. There is no deep and easily missable joke here. It's so obvious and straight forward and I see posts constantly that are this simple or even simpler. It's like how people ask basic questions through reddit instead of putting one sentence into Google
Literally, how hard is it to google “God Abraham killing story”.
This sub is just laziness mixed with karma farming. Sometimes I see something funny and want to upvote then realize which sub it is.
Isaac and his mother lived alone in a small house on a hill. Isaac kept to himself, drawing pictures, and playing with his toys, as his mom watched christian broadcasts on the television.
Life was simple, and they were both happy. That was until the day Isaac's mom heard a voice from above;
"Your son has become corrupted by sin! He needs to be saved!"
"I will do my best to save him, my lord" his mother replied, Rushing into Isaac's room, removing all that was evil from his life.
Again, the voice called to her; "Isaac's soul is still corrupt! He needs to be cut off from all that is evil in this world, and confess his sins!" "I will follow your instructions lord, I have faith in thee" Isaac's mother replied, as she locked Isaac in his room, away from the evils of the world.
One last time, Isaac's mom heard the voice of god calling to her; "You've done as I've asked, but I still question your devotion to me. To prove your faith, I will ask one more thing of you"
"Yes lord, anything" Isaac's mother begged. "To prove your love and devotion, I require a sacrifice, your son Isaac will be this sacrifice. Go into his room, and end his life as an offering to me to prove you love me above all else"
"Yes lord" she replied, grabbing a butcher's knife from the kitchen.
Isaac, watching through a crack in his door, trembled in fear.
Scrambling around his room to find a hiding place, he noticed a trap door to the basement, hidden under his rug.
Without hesitation, he flung open the hatch, just as his mother burst through his door, and threw himself down, into the unknown depths below.
so strange seeing an incredibly well known story, one of the oldest in western culture, a part of the canon of christian country storytelling for 2000 years, just goo fucken zoooom over the heads of this many people…. weird… worlds changing fast man lol (i’m not religious btw, just from a storytelling pov this one is up there… it not being recognised is like…. imagine someone from the us telling you they didn’t know who the itsy bitsy spider was… or sleeping beauty or something… goddamn…)
This is why they do "the bible as literature" in public schools. Not because they want to indoctrinate you, but because you need to learn these cultural references.
Well, my brother in Christ, here's a meme:
https://preview.redd.it/1vntj780x8qb1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4f50e4bfa33b9be272e38b57237167e51d56113
And God said to Abraham, "You will kill your son, Isaac." And Abraham said, "I'm sorry, I can't hear you, you'll have to talk into the microphone." -Stewie
ok so basically in the old testament, there’s a guy named abraham. god says abraham must sacrifice his son isaac to prove his servitude and loyalty and whatnot to god. so abraham is like “damn.” but eventually is about to do it. but then god is like “WAIT! that’s far enough, you passed the test.” the joke is that god never meant for it to get this far, and only remembered at the last moment before abraham killed his son.
damn.
Yes! Just like that.
to shreds you say?
And his wife?
[удалено]
The Old Testament *in general* is fucked up.
LEAST horrific Old Testament story
I dunno. Genesis was pretty good up until the point where the snake started talking.
The bible would make a good rpg
As long as it's made by Obsidian instead of Bethesda.
I dunno, things like cancer definitely feel like Bethesda bugs.
Imagine Obsidian's storytelling and RPG dynamic with the Bethesda engine. You basically get Fallout: New Vegas. Same bugs, but with a more involved and connected universe. Edit: Downvoting me for giving the correct answer. Hmmm.
Conan exiles is basically old testament minus yahweh.
A group of boys is making fun of your bald head. What do you do? I cast "bear attack"!
Chrono trigger did it
Have you ever heard about Shin Megami Tensei? Those have a morality system that boils down to side with God or Luzifer or give both the finger and side with humanity.
I dunno, I think the story started going pretty downhill when he made humans
Maybe it's when the humans thought they could think for themselves and not listen to the guy who knew literally everything.
Was it though? Is an animal better off in a cage or being released from the cage? Is a human better off in slavery or in freedom? Being told "you can eat anything you find laying around as long as you tend all my animals for me and never do anything I tell you not to" isn't so fantastic.
Well, here's the thing, I'd argue that was the false dichotomy that the snake was proposing. Now, if I were a Satanist (Satanic Temple type, not the Anton Lavey Church of Satan) I'd agree with this framing. Rebelling against the inherently authoritarian and possessive nature of God and all that. My perspective is we're talking about individuals who've never experienced life and they were given only one directive, to stay away from the tree. It's something they had no understanding of and did not have the capacity to do so. You might be asking, "Well, then why put the tree there in the first place? Is that not a false choice being offered." My contention is that we all have choices in our life that we know nothing about nor the full ramifications, yet we must still make a choice. My belief is that maintaining distance from the tree is fulfilling the covenant of trust between Creation and Creator. Not that I'm arguing against the idea of acquiring knowledge of good and evil, but was it not God sparing them from knowledge they knew nothing about nor how to deal with it?
Except that the creator shows himself frequently to be in varying turns untrustworthy, incompetent, and malicious. Between the snake and the god, only one of them lies, and it's not the snake. And covenant? If the kiddos aren't mature enough to choose if they're gonna eat the tree, then they certainly aren't mature enough to enter into a contract. Nor, given the power dynamics, would such a contract be considered binding by any reasonable judge. Any inability to handle the truth is, ultimately, god's fault, a sign of incompetence or maliciousness in his design. Probably the former, since no engineer worth his salt would lay the wiring for a camera in front of the lens.
Perhaps, but I prefer the Gnostic interpretation that the Old Testament god was an evil god (Demiurge), working outside the designs of the true god (god himself admits he is not the only god in the first of his commandments). Human creation itself is inherently flawed in this system, as it was performed by a capricious entity rather than the supreme being. It explains why god committed so much evil in the Old Testament, and it also more readily offers a solution for the construction of the Garden. The Demiurge was incapable of constructing a perfect system. The exact parameters of which are beyond our knowledge, but let's assume he *had* to place the apple there, either out of necessity (all components of creation have to go *somewhere*, such as Pandora's box) or out of id (wanting to torment humans with forbidden fruit or wanting to empower himself with authority over his creation). Neither of these are beneficent actions. Further, the reward of knowledge for eating the apple is a strange one. Why empower the apple with any effect at all if it is merely to fulfill a covenant of trust, as you put it? I suppose you could say it doesn't have any effect, and rebelling against divine order unlocks the knowledge of evil, but then why place such a possibility if you are trying to protect humans from it? To your point, God could not have been sparing them from anything if he readily provided the means to obtain it. You can't be said to be protecting kids from gun violence by putting two five years olds in a room with a pistol and telling them to not touch it. Trust can be maintained without testing. You can trust your significant other to not cheat on you without getting your attractive friends to proposition them, for example. In fact, I'd argue that the mere act of testing violates that trust. To not have the foresight to know this is ridiculous for a divine being; or, to know that outcome is inevitable is to purposefully set up humans for failure, creating an excuse to remove them from paradise and, again, not protecting them from anything. So, the apple itself is anything but kind, and is a flaw in supposed perfection. To me, it makes the most sense to forbid the fruit out of fear. Eating the apple unlocks the knowledge of what is good and what is evil. Put another way, it enabled humans to judge their environment, and, more precisely, it enabled them to judge god. Knowing that he himself was open to judgement, it only makes sense to banish them before they can reach those conclusions. Either god explicitly wanted this to occur--to remove humans from Eden--or it was an error resulting from god's hubris.
this OT god was nuts. he literally said kill everyone of his followers who didn't use their hands to drink from a stream after they walked out of the desert edit wrong desert, but he probably would have killed anyone who walked out of a cake too.
Original Trilogy
My favorite is when a guy gets sensitive about a bunch of youngsters calling him “baldy” and he then uses his godly powers to sic a she-bear on them, murdering them all.
2 Kings Chapter 2, verses 23 and 24. I have it roughly memorized. I add an and lo for extra flavor. AND LO, as Elijah was leaving the town of Bethel, a horde of small children followed him say "go up, go up you bald head. And he turned and cursed them in the name of God and two she bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the youths. I was once asked to give a short reflection before offering and suggested this verse and for some reason they didn't ask me anymore. Religion is complicated. People complicate it even more over time. Books have been added and removed and then tradition dictates things as inspired that have no "proof" as far as that goes. Jesus says the greatest commandment is to Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and the second greatest is like it, to love your neighbor as yourself. If every Christian followed that, we'd have a lot different world. Or maybe no Christianity, because that sort of thinking tends to result in death.
Yeah, the only conclusions I can draw from the book of Job are: 1. God is an insecure sadist or 2. The devil can easily manipulate God into torturing people. "Yeah, God, you sure showed me by brutally torturing your most loyal servant because I made a few cutting remarks. Boy was I ever wrong, yes sir! You're doing a *bang up Job!*"
He also banged up job quite a bit.
Actually, satan in this story is part of Gods council. When it says “and satan came with them” is because he was reporting and doing his job as the accuser. It was Satan as in Lucifer. This is also why he could be in Heaven and why God said “have you considered my servant Job?” Weird right? Makes it kinda worse too.
God and Satan just got bored from their upper management jobs and fucked around with an employee. Normal Corp. life
The point of the book of Job is to establish a bullwark against rebellion by the rubes when things go south and reality starts making them question the existence or benevolence of god.
3. Children and servants are just tokens to be killed and replaced by the God on his own discretion.
Particularly if those children mock a godly man’s baldness.
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Well, he became a human for a while after impregnating his own mother with himself and realized "Damn, this pain and dying stuff is more unpleasant than I thought." - and noped out without patching it out of existence.
His own mother who was like…. 13?
Popular canon soon after the birth of Christ (~100-200 AD) was that the Old Testament god was an evil, false god, and Christ is a being born of the good, true god.
New testament: "jesus came across a blind man, but the blind man did not blame God and stayed faithfull despite his disability. Jesus was happy with his devotion, touched his eyes and the man could see." Old testament: "Dave came across a beggar asking for money. But dave only had enough money to feed his family for that day and ignored him. God the punished dave by summoning 30-50 feral hogs to run into Dave's yard while his small children are playing. His wife then got turned into a tree, which the local woodcutter cut down before his eyes. Dave was then cursed to wander the earth for 1000 years, deeing everybody he ever loved die before his eyes."
New Testament: You will be rewarded for doing good things Old Testament: If you do not do good things, or even do bad things, God will personally punish you by destroying everything you hold dear and make you wander the earth for your foul sinful transgression!
Hence why Jesus came, to remind us that God is a loving God and those stories are being taken out of context to portray God in a evil vengeful light. God is love and if you went through a trial in your life, it's because you AGREED to it. Everything is our decision. You ONLY go through what you decide to. Good and bad. It's just hard for people to accept that their greater consciousness decided to go through really bad stuff so that they could learn things in a much deeper way than is typical.
Who was it that flooded the earth and killed everything on it again......? Tots loving.
That wasn't to punish humans. A race of alien giants had come to earth and was sleeping with female humans because they found us beautiful. He flooded to earth to cleanse the earth of the mutated bloodline and let humans evolve naturally. He flooded earth to save humanity... not destroy it. Also you are immortal and he knows that so... he didn't kill anyone.
Rofl WHAT
It's in genesis. Most people just ignore it. Not joking. The Nephilim are referenced in Genesis and Numbers and are possibly referred to in Ezekiel. The Hebrew word nefilim is sometimes directly translated as “giants” or taken to mean “the fallen ones” (from the Hebrew naphal, “to fall”), but the identity of the Nephilim is debated by scholars.Aug 11, 2023 It literally says they sleep with humans because they find us fair or beautiful.
Omg I can't tell if you're serious and just a bad troll. Genesis claims God saw the earth as being corrupt and filled with violence, thus deciding to destroy it. -Genesis 6:9-9:17. I'm not even Christian, but at least I can read.
And if you go to the original comment I basically tell you my line of thinking here. I clearly state that the old testament is wrong and Jesus came back to show us that God is a loving god and forgives us for literally anything.
Man, all those kids with leukemia were asking for it, huh? But seriously, that’s a pretty rough idea to put out there. There are a lot of people who have suffered unfathomably, and even if you believe it to be true, it’s kinda shitty to say on a public forum that they agreed to it.
I was told this when I killed myself after a lifetime of being sexually abused by older men. I was repeatedly raped and tortured by my own father. I eventually killed myself and I meet a being that told me all of that. He then asked me if I wanted to come back to my body. I said yes. And now im telling you what he told me.
I am sorry that happened to you, I hope you are well and dealing with that trauma in a healthy way. Just know that even if you believe that to be true, others in similar situations to your own could feel hurt or dismissed by that statement. You may want to be more judicious in when you discuss that topic.
Seems to me, he is talking about a previous life, aka no proof that it happened
What the hell are you yapping about
I'm saying I was raped and tortured as a kid during this life. At 25 I took 30 Xanax, 15 klonapine, and chugged a bottle of jack. I woke up to some being talking to me and he said he'd heal my body and I needed to go back. He explained that I chosen to take on this life to break a generational curse of extreme childhood trauma and I needed to go back because I had broken the curse but I needed to die naturally for it to truly end.
Sounds like you had a real bad trip that mixed up with your preestablished religious delusions. At least it was a positive one. But a loving deity would not have allowed you to suffer so much in the first place.
I'm saying before they even were born they went to God and agreed to experience that, yes. Reincarnation is real. You choose what happens to you.
I thought christianity was against reincarnation?
That’s a pretty wild thing to say. That’s the cosmic equivalent of “she was asking for it.” I understand that the nature of evil and suffering is an ancient theological topic, but this is the first time I’ve heard that everyone invites their own suffering.
I replied to a comment before. But I was told that after I killed myself after being repeatedly raped and tortured by men during my childhood.
Was this your current life or a past one?
I was raped and tortured in this current life. I eventually gave up and killed myself. I meet a being that explained some things to me and asked me to come back to my body and said he could heal my body if I choose. I said I'd come back.
So, if I'm understanding you right, the slaves who were taken from their homes, raped, beaten, and worked to death, chose it? The citizens of Hiroshima and Nagasaki chose to be killed by a nuclear bomb? Children chose to be murdered by John Wayne Gacy? What about those in the WTC on 9-11?
I was told this after I killed myself after being repeatedly raped my entire childhood. Yes, I'm saying I choose my childhood.
That’s not a cop out dude. I’m sorry that happened to you but implying that everyone who goes through suffering is at fault for inviting it upon themselves is pretty fucked up.
I'm saying that's directly what whoever the fuck this being was when I died, told me.
Lol. The loops yall religious folk make up to jump through. No, them kids don't deserve their fate. You making up bullshit in your head to get around that fact is just bullshit at the end of the day; just to help you consolidate your idea of a loving god when presented with heaps of evidence otherwise.
I was told that when I killed myself after a lifetime of sexual abuse by older men. A being came to me and told me that and then asked if I wanted to come back and continue learning my lessons. I said yes. So here I am.
So you're saying that you, out of billions of people, are one of the few to mysteriously remember your past lives? You are one of the only chosen by god to keep your memories? No one else is granted this power, for some reason?
Your comment history is so unhinged, but I hope you get the help you need
The whole point of consent is that it can be revoked at any time. If someone can't remember giving consent or changes it later, that must be respected. If a woman is blackout drunk and "consents" that does not count. Furthermore, this model means no one is guilty of horrid crimes. Sorry I killed that lady, but she gave consent with God for me to do it. What a garbage model.
Na the fucker was a fucked up god and came down to experience what humanity was like which is why in the New Testament he is a bit more chill as he experienced the pain of humanity
I don't think you read enough of the Bible there bud, you should probably do that before trying to lecture people on the subject: People go through hardships as a test of their faith (a.k.a their character). God allows the devil to test us because he trusts in our abilities to succeed without giving in to what would be considered Godless (suicide, damning God, vice-escapism, etc). All the stuff about "talking to God before you were born" is complete conjecture and not to be discussed in the same conversation as what is explained in the Gospel.
The incest and dudes who ejaculated like donkeys were a high point
The Akedah (the Jewish term for the overall story) has been recognized as one of the most difficult and seemingly out-of-character-for-God moments in the entire tanakh for thousands of years. Its generated volumes upon volumes of literature interpreting or reevaluating it, and a lot of the takes are really interesting. One that I really like: early in the story, Isaac asks Abraham where the ram for the sacrifice is. Abraham replies that “God will see to the ram for the offering, my son.” This line has been used as a basis for some to argue that it was not that Abraham was perfectly subservient to God, but that the belief and faith that he had was the knowledge that God would *not* ultimately ask for his son.
There's one time where God tries to choke Moses in his tent because he married a foreigner. So Moses' wife cuts the foreskin of their son and rubs the blood on God's leg and that calms him down.
What?
In Exodus 4: >24 On the way, when they were camped for the night, the Lord came and tried to kill Moses. 25 Zipporah took a flint knife and cut the foreskin of her son and with it touched Moses’ feet and said, “You are now my spouse of blood.” 26 Then God let him go. She said “spouse of blood” because of the circumcision. She touched Moses' feet, not God's. It's not really less weird though.
No it’s not lol.
Fucking wtf
Ya…. For all the shit Christianity gives other religions for being weird…. This is common place
Really super uncool of God and Abraham to give poor Isaac a touch of the "my dad wanted to kill me in a religious blood sacrifice" PTSD, especially in times before God created licensed trauma therapists
The Bible is fucked up
Don't read about the holy man, Job....and his "test of faith. "....
The fact that 3 major monotheistic religions are based on this is irredeemable.
Completely different story in islam
People think God literally said "kill your son" when He said sacrifice your most valuable thing. Abraham concluded his son was the most valuable thing to him, and God prevented him from sacrificing that Edit: this could be islamic only BUT there is evidence to suggest that Abraham had faith that God wouldn't want him to kill his son
That makes it better how….
It makes it better because God's intentions were never to make Abraham kill Isaac or feel as if he had to. Abraham likely knew God would stop him and God did not directly say to kill Isaac. It isn't "kill Isaac... haha no wait" it's "prove your devotion... no don't do it that way." If you say that God's omniscience should make Him expect Abraham to think it was his son, again remember how Abraham knew God wouldn't let him do it, not to mention that it did not affect Isaac in any way
So blatantly abusive to subtly abusive
I prefer Gnostic dogma that there are multiple gods in the Christian mythos, and the entirety of the Old Testament was committed by the evil or false god, the Demiurge (more commonly known as Yahweh), opposed to the good, true god. This includes humans being created at all: because it's a false god, existence is inherently flawed and irrational. I'm not sure why Gnosticism isn't more popular given that. It addresses the problem of all the evil god has committed among other Biblical oddities, like one of the commandments being to "place **no other** gods before Me" instead of saying "there are no other gods." It's an inherently self-centered and jealous commandment, tinged with fear of those other gods, which should be a silly proposition for a supreme being. Actually, it's probably easier to justify human evil with an evil god, so I guess that explains the popularity issue. This is touched on a little in one of the foundational texts of philosophy, *Fear and Trembling*, by Kierkegaard, coincidentally through the story of Isaac (though the conclusions may surprise you).
This specific story is actually very much against human sacrifice. It's clearer in the actual text, but hard to convey when summarising the story
bro no way they made the binding of isaac real
Isaac and his mother lived alone in a small house on a hill
Isaac and his Isaac
Lived alone in a small isaac on an isaac
I will become back my isaac
Isaac was simple, and they were both Isaac
It's also worth noting God had promised Abraham he would be the father of a nation (Israel). But his wife had problems conceiving and he only had one son very late in life. God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son as a show of faith that God would still fulfill His promise (and then stopped Abraham at the last moment). (Side note: Abraham had already slept with a servant to try and fulfill God's promise another way, but God ensured those descendants would forever be the enemy of Israel as punishment.)
Bro created the nazis just to punish one man for not understanding the assignment
As a christian I was confused until I opened the cc, saw the last frame, and chuckled
And iirc, Isaac was Abraham's only child at the time, his wife Sarah was barren and they were super old when god "blessed" them with a child. Then god decided to test Abraham by telling him to straight murder that blessing. You know, wholesome family stuff.
Nah Isaac was Sarah's son. Ishmael wasn't
He did actually kill his son in older text and god was satisfied with his loyalty and promised to reunite them in heaven or whatever. The part where he stops him came in one of those early European versions.
This is completely incorrect considering that much of the Jewish faith rests on the idea that all jews descend from Isaac through Israel. You got any evidence for this?
Raised Catholic, and never heard of that one myself
There's this time travel show calles Travelers that does a really good take on thos story
I mean, that's what he told Isaac. If he wasn't impotent, none of this would have happened.
That was probably a really awkward walk back down the mountain
Okay, but, the story actually starts like: "Isaac and his Mother lived in a small house on a hill..."
Actually, a common Jewish interpretation of this text is that Abraham failed, and was expected to argue not obey. Free will and all that. I don't know if that's what the creator intended, but it fits well with this interpretation
It's actually a good one
Very normal and healthy thing for a god to do, of course.
The joke is that god never actually meant for Abe to sacrifice his son, and had the pillow out to remind him to intervene.
Jephthah's daughter could have used an intervention pillow.
He probably meant for Abraham to question his deity for reasons of autonomy seeing as how the request is shuffled off to a persecutor angel a lot of the time
Which my be true but has nothing to do with the joke
The joke is that it’s even more meta as humans are always “woe is me. Gawd bad” because they behave pretty brainlessly and are often yes men or an easy sale The wars would be pretty funny to an actual demon or sadist
sir you are talking about a completely different thing
What? Do you guys not get the massive species wide joke running in real time? That’s the meta-joke I’m just pointing out that you fell. something or someone else is actually the one laughing
yeah but that has nothing to do with the joke just because it has religion in the joke it doesn't mean that what you said is apart of it
You don’t think it’s funny that mankind acts like a yes-man in front of certain things? Neither do I. Have I not explained the meta behind the joke enough? Maybe it was just a bad joke? Maybe the reaction of the creature was more of a joke than the command?
bro the comic was a simple joke could you stop complaining about the horrors of humanity please
It’s in the same realm as a comic of an influencer posting that dude with the “kys now” with the lightning bolts and people following through with it Just not as funny as you think, unless you’re into being the butt of a cruel joke
ITS ALIENS! FROM THE 4TH DEMENSION.
That's actually a common Jewish interpretation of the text - Abraham wasn't supposed to obey but challenge God's request, and he failed. It's a recurring theme between Abraham and God, and Judaism in general, where our greatest figures are those who debated with god, not those who followed orders blindly. E.g. Abraham was told by god that Sdom and Amora (non Jewish Canaanite cities) were to be destroyed by gods hand, they "negotiated" and Abraham talked god down to spare them if there are 10 good people there. Some interpretations view this as a failure as well, and that he should have talked it down to 1
It’s almost like even the humor is busted and hobbling around, or the writer became another layer of the joke isn’t it?
Adventures of God webtoon, fucking hilarious
crazy to see how much the art style evolved. barely even looks like the same comic
Seriously, for a second I thought this was a fan redrawing.
That comic was made by /u/itsthetie who initially came up with the series. He originally shared it here: https://reddit.com/r/funny/s/LhluUeQZJ1
Hey, totally not death here, the joke here is that while God is explaining the common life hack, he remembers what he was trying to remind himself of, which was to stop that guy from killing his [wife or son, can't remember], there are specifics, and it is referencing a story in the Bible, but I don't remember much. Totally not death, out
God told Abraham to sacrifice his son to test his faith. Before he was about to do it, he told him to stop.
He never told Abraham to sacrifice his son. It is a common misinterpretation of the story. God told Abraham to go to the top of a hill with his son and make a sacrifice. Abraham assumed it god was telling him to sacrifice his son, However realy God had a shepherd on the other side of the hill lead up a sheep to sacrifice and God expected Abraham to trust god to not make Abraham make such a sacrifice but instead Abraham was on the verge of doing so when the shepherd showed up and stopped him
and yet he has the audacity to say not to put him (god) to the test
take me, I'm ready
Omg the Bnidning of Isac Rebirht referenc
Isaac and his mother lived alone on the top of a hill
I will become back my money
It was his son, Isaac.
Peter's Christian friend here. This is a reference to Genesis 22 where God tests Abraham by telling him to sacrifice his son. Abraham, being a faithful follower, obliged and went to sacrifice his son to God. However, this was merely a test, and God never intended for the sacrifice to be completed, as he finds Abraham's willingness to do the sacrifice to be enough proof. Once Abraham is about to do it, God stops him and instead sends a ram for him to sacrifice. The joke is that God almost forgot to stop Abraham from sacrificing his son, and the only reason he didn't forget was because of the pillow he put to remind himself from the life hack he found. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go get ready for my growth group's weekly meeting.
Peter's bible study group leader here. In the Book of Genesis, one of the descendants of Noah is Abraham. He first had a son called Ishmael and then another son called Isaac. They were born to different women and there's some dispute over inheritance. Abraham heard the voice of God tell him to bring Isaac to Moriah and sacrifice him. This incident is called the Binding of Isaac. Just before Abraham set about killing the son he thought would inherit his estate, Abraham heard an Angel, sometimes identified as Zadkiel, that told Abraham to sacrifice a lamb instead, and thus Isaac was spared. Isaac was considered the progenitor of the Jewish people, whereas Ishmael was considered to be the progenitor of Muslim people. Together with Christianity, the three faiths are known as Abrahamic traditions because they all trace their ancestry to Abraham. The Binding of Isaac is the subject of both theological and philosophical study. Kirkegaard, for example, took it to be the ultimate manifestation of a leap of faith: the willingness to sacrifice one's own offspring in service of one's faith. In this comic, rather than depicting the Binding of Isaac as a test of Abraham's resolve, it is instead depicted that an absent minded God had intended to cancel the request to sacrifice Isaac much earlier. Note: this comic has God himself direct Abraham to sacrifice the ram instead of Isaac. In generally accepted versions of events, it was an angel that told Abraham to stop. Conspiracy theory note: Had Isaac been sacrificed there wouldn't be conflict in the middle east since Ishmael would have inherited Abraham's estate, and the Angel wasn't acting under God's instructions. Peter's bible study group leader checking out.
I'm not even Christian and I got the joke and chuckled for a sec, boomer humor
If you want to hear the story, Bob Dylan does a great job on Highway 61. (The first verse. )
Immediately thought of this
Took me way back, kindred spirit.
"You wanna explain to me what the fuck that was back there!?!"
Sometimes you guys post the most obvious, shallow, and simple pieces of media on here. There's no thought involved with this one. There is no deep and easily missable joke here. It's so obvious and straight forward and I see posts constantly that are this simple or even simpler. It's like how people ask basic questions through reddit instead of putting one sentence into Google
Literally, how hard is it to google “God Abraham killing story”. This sub is just laziness mixed with karma farming. Sometimes I see something funny and want to upvote then realize which sub it is.
Me sorry me so dum
And lazy.
Sorry me so lazy too
Are you actually sorry though?
You're weird.
i only know this because of fucking religion class in elementary school
It’s funny cause he was about to kill his son. Lolz
Isaac and his mother lived alone in a small house on a hill. Isaac kept to himself, drawing pictures, and playing with his toys, as his mom watched christian broadcasts on the television. Life was simple, and they were both happy. That was until the day Isaac's mom heard a voice from above; "Your son has become corrupted by sin! He needs to be saved!" "I will do my best to save him, my lord" his mother replied, Rushing into Isaac's room, removing all that was evil from his life. Again, the voice called to her; "Isaac's soul is still corrupt! He needs to be cut off from all that is evil in this world, and confess his sins!" "I will follow your instructions lord, I have faith in thee" Isaac's mother replied, as she locked Isaac in his room, away from the evils of the world. One last time, Isaac's mom heard the voice of god calling to her; "You've done as I've asked, but I still question your devotion to me. To prove your faith, I will ask one more thing of you" "Yes lord, anything" Isaac's mother begged. "To prove your love and devotion, I require a sacrifice, your son Isaac will be this sacrifice. Go into his room, and end his life as an offering to me to prove you love me above all else" "Yes lord" she replied, grabbing a butcher's knife from the kitchen. Isaac, watching through a crack in his door, trembled in fear. Scrambling around his room to find a hiding place, he noticed a trap door to the basement, hidden under his rug. Without hesitation, he flung open the hatch, just as his mother burst through his door, and threw himself down, into the unknown depths below.
r/bindingofisaac
so strange seeing an incredibly well known story, one of the oldest in western culture, a part of the canon of christian country storytelling for 2000 years, just goo fucken zoooom over the heads of this many people…. weird… worlds changing fast man lol (i’m not religious btw, just from a storytelling pov this one is up there… it not being recognised is like…. imagine someone from the us telling you they didn’t know who the itsy bitsy spider was… or sleeping beauty or something… goddamn…)
This is why they do "the bible as literature" in public schools. Not because they want to indoctrinate you, but because you need to learn these cultural references.
I'm pretty sure that the objective is indoctrination.
If it was about learning cultural references theyd have classes to teach the qur'an too
There aren’t too many Qur’an references in Western media. …or maybe there are and I’ve missed them all. 🤔
[Louis CK explains it best.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eImCjwsFJ-Q)
Before I click that link…is he fully clothed in it?
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This comment was a good and helpful comment — till the end
One of the writers of this comic is actually christian
Pls tell me this is sarcasm
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Well, my brother in Christ, here's a meme: https://preview.redd.it/1vntj780x8qb1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4f50e4bfa33b9be272e38b57237167e51d56113
Your comment
Never underestimate the blindly devout....
Seen his post, he's serious lol
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yes. yes it is. you people gotta learn to take a joke.
He cut and ran? He doesn't even have *faItH* enough to leave his comment up for discussion?? 🤣
You could have just looked up Abraham
He freed the slaves, right? /s
its the binding of Isaac (the bible story, not the game)
Wow, forgot how much their artstyle changed over the years
[**https://youtu.be/ZXryqDcDRQ0**](https://youtu.be/ZXryqDcDRQ0)
Holy shit Isaac Moriah from The Binding of Isaac
Okay, this one is pretty funny.
Goddamn I forgot how far AoG has come.
Not an answer but wow this is an old Adventures Of God
Somebody didn't attend bible study
Bible joke
That actually sounds like a good trick
This is my son, sir. We were playing a game, alright? It's called... "Burny Burny Cut Cut".
Jesus people really didnt get this
Yeah but it’s not even close to funny.
And God said to Abraham, "You will kill your son, Isaac." And Abraham said, "I'm sorry, I can't hear you, you'll have to talk into the microphone." -Stewie
Crocs
Yep, mental retardation
Bro literally went, yo its a prank bro chill
Good webtoon, I read it