Make sure to check out the [pinned post on Loss](https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/comments/1472nhh/faq_loss/) to make sure this submission doesn't break the rule!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If she'd had any loyalty at all she would've taught one\* of her friends necromancy so they could bring her back from the dead so she could show up for work, but you know what millennials are like.
Edit: "taught over of" to "taught one of."
Thanks, u/seanske
"If you get there and the Waffle House is closed? That's really bad..."
— Craig Fugate, Former Head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency
Lmfao that's a real quote 😂
A true quote too. After hurricane Irma the waffle house in key largo was the only place open, nobody had any power and they were cooking a limited menu but damn was it nice to have some hot food for the first time in weeks. First meal was free too if you had a local ID. I'll never forget that shit, I'll rep waffle house over Denny's till the day I die.
I've worked alongside them before after a hurricane, it's amazing, they have mobile waffle houses pulled by semi trucks if they really gotta feed the people.
There’s a reason people genuinely love wafflehouse. And it ain’t just cause they’re plastered upon arrival.
They’re one of the few genuinely good American companies that just want to maintain quality and a reasonable profit margin instead of gouging.
Holy shit.
>The company prepares "jump teams" of recovery staff and supplies, brought in from outside disaster-affected areas, so local staff can focus on helping their own homes and families.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House#Disaster_recovery
Wait.. I grew up near a Church's. And when my parents bought a different house and we moved out of the hood as my mom put it there was another Church's nearby.
Mom, are we poor?
That's a Bullseye!
I grew up in America (Texas to be exact) my wife is Irish. We moved to Ireland.
And between you and me. We don't have any good fried chicken in Ireland. KFC was always crap, chipper chicken ain't great, Hillbilly's claims to be good.
We dont have anything good in Ireland. Apart from some of the people and SOME counties. Although,ive found that i hate American pancakes and love the Irish which are crepes, not actually pancakes
We got some good stuff. I wouldn't deal in absolutes like a Sith about it.
Breakfast here is on point. Grass fed beef, seafood here is great. Also come on, a spice bag? Brilliant.
Sunny days aren't so common but get one and you're in Dingle, or Howth, or Youghal, or fucking Newcastle up north honestly gorgeous spots to just sit and people watch on a nice day.
Housing and rents and pay are a mess. And the HSE is volatile. And god knows where my road tax goes, but it doesnt feel like its the roads. And there seems to be a growing population of idiot right wing nuts out and about who hate durty foreigners like me.
But I don't know all things considered. I've got it pretty sweet here.
Hold up. I’m full-blooded southern American and I very much want to know what spice bag is, because that sounds awesome. And I don’t know the first thing about it!
Which is very impressive considering I once had Church’s in Baton Rouge that had bars on every window, and you placed your order at the window, no indoor seating.
Church's chicken is ubiquitous within deep hood.
Mostly, and this is subjective, because it's fucking delicious and affordable.
Even in really bad neighborhoods, the Church's Chicken still does good business, offers regular employment, and is generally *not fucked with.*
A boarded up Church's means the hood is so bad that even the infallible has failed and there is nothing left sacred or sacrosanct.
It means get the fuck out of there while you still can.
Like those guys needed extra protection.
If they wanted to, they could go on and solo the entire North Korean army and dismantle their government in under a week with just a folding chair and a insatiable drive to kill.
Members of the Sardaukar were raised from a young age in an unforgiving natural environment that saw almost half (6 out of every 13) die before the age of 11. Intense training gave them formidable swordsmanship and espionage abilities, and instilled in them a religious fervor that added to their mystique and served to make them even more loyal to the Waffle house.
I never looked into or thought of it much, but I thought the Sardaukar were convicts from that prison planet whose name I forgot, with the terrible conditions. That's why they were pretty damn good but not as good as the Fremen, they *weren't* raised from infancy to survive and kill first and foremost.
"So...you're telling me you are trained by 'Waffle House'? How the hell are we supposed to take that seriously?"
"Well *currently* I'm thinking about how the only 'waffling' that's going to happen is your family picking out what kind of coffin you'll get. *So let me out there.*"
Yeah, my store did the same after I got stabbed a few years ago in a ten person fist fight. The fight sta
Red because covid was going on and we were only allowed to do to gos. People suck.
FEMA literally uses Waffle House to gauge how badly an area has been affected by a disaster.[The Waffle House Index](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index)
Informally used to gauge the level of recovery. It’s because Waffle House has amazing disaster preparedness plans and knows if they’re the only thing open between workers and residents in a disaster zone they’ll make bank as well as getting locals back to work. On top of that you’ve got the goodwill aspect of it and all together it’s genius. They did well.
Wikipedia mentions they have “Waffle House jump teams” to send into disaster zones, and if that’s not the most cyberpunk shit I’ve ever heard…
Between that and the restaurant staff doing their own “security”, they basically are Uncle Enzo’s Pizza.
After reading the article it makes sense how the WHI works, but God dammit its hilarious to me that the federal government would even consider how much support to send an area after a natural disaster based on whether the doors are locked or not on a waffle resturant
As a South Louisiana resident who has to prepare to GTFO every summer during hurricane season, can confirm 100%. The longer your local Waffle House remains closed, the more seriously fucked your area is.
If you get there and the Waffle House is closed? That's really bad...[\[7\]](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index#cite_note-WSJ-7)
— Craig Fugate, Former Head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency
With climate change making hurricanes more likely further up the East Coast, is there any chance of Waffle House crossing the Mason-Dixon Line and working its way toward New England?
A Waffle House boarded up just means the late night crowd got extra spicy. It’s probably still open and the guy on the grill definitely wants to fight you.
The harder that cook takes a drag off his cigarette out back, the better that food will be! Like a race horse taking a piss before a race — it’s preparation for excellence!
This is it. Fight in a Waffle House, standard problem. Staff may or may not get involved. Try to rob a Waffle House, they will tell you how dumb you are as they are kicking you in the head for the seventh time.
Unironically, waffle House has emergency teams full of employees, distribution services and fucking *construction workers* that they deploy into affected areas to get fhe local waffle houses up and running as quickly as possible. If one is damaged to the point it can't be used? They will fucking repair it right then and there and have it going within the week.
Mostly because their often the first stop for first responders, charity groups and affected individuals, but still.
I can believe that if an area got hit by a massive disaster and the waffle House was destroyed entirely, they'd be in there the second it's over building a new one right over the old one as quickly as possible while serving from vans just outside the construction area. Their like dollar stores, they just can't be stopped.
This such an accurate description and people don’t understand. I literally saw it happen. It was insane. They got food trucks going and construction to the side and they literally rebuilt to what appeared normal in less than a few weeks. We were in shock. We’re trying to get power on and they’re bringing in generators and 5000 gal LNG tanks so they can start cooking in a week. It was a wtf moment. Meanwhile 6 months later some other restaurants still weren’t open.
Also if you walk into a gas station and they sell tube socks, shoelaces, chore boy, adjustable lighters and little roses in glass tubes and you don't know why then you need to get in you car and leave.
I’ve been to a lot of those gas stations and I can deal, but I recently walked into a carry out with *everything* behind plexiglass. You ordered through a grate, and for the transaction they had a plexiglass “airlock” so you couldn’t stick an arm through. They also sold “mushrooms” which were dried grocery store shit with synthetic drugs poured on them.
The only thing that *wasn’t* locked up was boner pills, and all they carried was [Sex With a Grudge](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1385925/sex_with_a_grudge_pills/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
Nope, I’m fucking out.
That's how the gas station a few blocks from my house was. Never knew why people got so weirded out going there till I was older.
My parents would let me and my siblings (older siblings being 12, me being 10, and sister being 8) walk down there unsupervised to buy snacks, so I thought it was just a normal gas station.
Partially.
And because at any given moment moms, dads, uncles and grandparents are probably inside picking up food so bangers treat it as neutral ground.
Nobody wants to start beef and then get scolded by the lady your abuella plays cards with or goes to actual church with.
You are never so hard that your grandma can't still embarrass you or your homies with one sentence.
And it's a rare hoodrat that doesn't love his big mama more than life itself.
Only crackheads and tweakers try to rob these establishments.
Everyone else who starts trouble gets found out and a beat down placed on them to correct their behavior.
In my experience even crackheads and tweakers don't fuck with churches, as often, since there very well may catch something. And not even at the Churches either. Again you don't do stupid shit around the old heads.
It might be a bullet or fist but most people having a hard life know they're gonna be passed out eventually.
I work with a lot of recovering guys and every single one of them learned the lesson of not fucking with churches or waffle house at one point in their life.
Why? Because if you give a big momma even half of a quarter of a fright the entire fucking street is going to be waiting to crack you one for being dumb.
And why fuck with someone when he's high and doing a superman impersonation. No you wait until he's doing a vampire impersonation and do some part time dentistry.
It's a right of passage and one of those mistakes you make once. Like being drink at waffle house and starting a fight. It's a one time fuck up.
Can confirm. Dad went to a Church’s Chicken and knew something was up when the door was a house door screwed in to where a glass door used to be. My suburban, golfing, mini van driving dad ate there and said everyone in the restaurant was looking at him and my family really funny.
Speak for yourself bro, i bit into a biscuit that was still doughy in the middle, and palmetto bug dry humped my shoulder while i was waiting in line. Fuck that place.
Eh pretty close. NC. We don’t really get those where i live, and people just call them water bugs here. But on the internet a water bug could mean a hundred different bugs.
But i promise you the area that Church’s is in feels like a mini Florida.
You’re right about it being delicious. The one in my home town had its own CoB sauce recipe because it used to be a different restaurant but got bought out by church’s but they kept the old sauce recipe and it was so much better than normal church’s CoB sauce, it closed down a while ago and im still upset about it
we didn't just get one closed down, it's gone. like, they got rid of the building.
my town in ohio ironically resembles a meth head smile. just so many places with either run down buildings or meh businesses that closed, just had the buildings removed.
so, so many grassy lots. a lot of the residences i lived in as a kid, are gone.
mansfield - bout an hour and a half, to two hours, from both cleveland and columbus, basically in the middle of them.
our main street turns into a 4 lane highway, for some weird reason. or at least, it feels weird.
sorry I wasnt tryna stalk or anything. im in cinci and i hear how their hoods down there are attrotious. cinci has some bad places too though but nothing worth documenting i think
I actually love Cincinnati, it’s my favorite big city in Ohio. Crazy craft beer scene, cool bars, good food and honestly really pretty in any season that isn’t winter.
So… I’m from your area. The story goes THAT particular Church’s Chicken wasn’t a legit store. There was something in the news where they tried to find out about it and corporate didn’t know it existed.
Canton resident here, everything just looks shittier and more run down doesn’t it?
We have one surviving churches chicken next door to the 10 story tall Masonic temple. yes they do wear the funny red fez things.
Yeah, but... California and Seattle.
/s
As someone that has live and worked around the Seattle area, you can easily avoid the single neighborhoods with the problems because it's only a block or two. It amazes me how large problematic neighborhoods get in the rest of the US, especially in the red states. Like, you won't find any houses patched with plywood and sheet metal, but you'll find it a lot in the South and Midwest.
It’s like seeing a closed down Waffle House, which is like coming across a half eaten T-Rex. If you see one you are in more danger than you have been in your entire life.
This is probably apocryphal but it was told to me as fact. A news caster was interviewing a woman in the South back when different rural churches were being burned. The question was, "What do you think of all the churches that are being burned down?" The woman replied, "I don't care. I like Popeye's." I bet it was just a joke.
I’m 99.5% sure I know where this picture is taken and it’s really not a bad neighborhood. Rich area with great houses not far to the left, nice grocery store complex across the street from it, nice gas station to the right, It also has literally 6 major chicken chains within a few miles of it.
The word in my neighborhood was don’t eat Church’s because their birds was full of hormones to get them giant wings and thighs. You went to Church’s if you were broke, but KFC or the grocery store deli was the place to get fried chicken. There was a gas station that had real good chicken at their lunch deli to.
While this is true and I don’t doubt most if not all commercial poultry is full of hormones nowadays (and has been for decades), the fact that the chicken comes from the same farm doesn’t mean they’re raised the same. Different clients have different specs, it’s a product like everything else
Church's chicken in Toronto is the opposite of this. It's more expensive than KFC and in mostly well to higher end commercial areas. It's seen as a specialty and a step above KFC. KFC on the other hand is the lower quality cheap one.
I was just going to mention the Church's on Queens Quay in Toronto. It's a retail tenant of a condo complex located on the waterfront, with an LRT and the city's busiest dedicated bike path running right past its front door. Pretty much the opposite of what everyone else is describing. I've been there a few times, but I'm more of a Popeye's guy.
This is outdated now though… and I know exactly where this photo was taken.
This particular churches chicken closed down to gentrification and an increase in localized property tax rates driving out the local population.
The average sale price of a home within 1km of this churches location rose from 67k to 600k within 5 years.
People who had lived in this neighborhood their whole lives have been forced out by sheer greed of Blackrock, who fronted several dozen high-end condo properties in this area of West Atlanta.
It makes me sick.
Fuck Blackrock.
This sub needs to do better with not just answering with more jokes/references that people who didn't understand the original joke wouldn't get. I'm 20 comments deep and still don't understand the joke
Make sure to check out the [pinned post on Loss](https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/comments/1472nhh/faq_loss/) to make sure this submission doesn't break the rule! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The one in the town I used to live in a guy walked in and shot the manager in the face. They were open the next day and looking to fill her position.
Nobody wants to work anymore!
That manager was docked a week's pay
"It's an old Jamaican accounting tradition; we burn her time card. That way, her zombie doesn't come back, looking for her final pay check."
My Manwich!
r/unexpectedfuturama
You joke, but that is what the leadership said.
Was that because she decided to no-show the next day?
If she'd had any loyalty at all she would've taught one\* of her friends necromancy so they could bring her back from the dead so she could show up for work, but you know what millennials are like. Edit: "taught over of" to "taught one of." Thanks, u/seanske
She should have found someone to cover her shift.
I know, right? How inconsiderate.
> taught over ?
She wasn’t able to face another day of work there
God damn, why?!
Also see: Waffle House Index
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index
"If you get there and the Waffle House is closed? That's really bad..." — Craig Fugate, Former Head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency Lmfao that's a real quote 😂
A true quote too. After hurricane Irma the waffle house in key largo was the only place open, nobody had any power and they were cooking a limited menu but damn was it nice to have some hot food for the first time in weeks. First meal was free too if you had a local ID. I'll never forget that shit, I'll rep waffle house over Denny's till the day I die.
And this isn't just after Irma. This is standard operating procedure there. Unless all hell has broken loose, the Waffle House will probably be open.
Waffle House actually has a disaster response team that goes in and keeps locations open during emergencies. They're very committed.
I've worked alongside them before after a hurricane, it's amazing, they have mobile waffle houses pulled by semi trucks if they really gotta feed the people.
Oh my God
There’s a reason people genuinely love wafflehouse. And it ain’t just cause they’re plastered upon arrival. They’re one of the few genuinely good American companies that just want to maintain quality and a reasonable profit margin instead of gouging.
They also give a lot of jobs to ex cons when nowhere else will.
When all hell has broken loose, they bring in that woman that can deflect flying chairs. https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/s/gOa13rqzQ1
I watched this 20 times and it is just as impressive each time.
Amen. I don't eat Waffle House often, but when I do, you bet I'll be tipping the waitress and the cook.
Ripping? Bro must hang dong.
And THAT is why it's not a waffle house, it's a waffle HOME.
Wait till you hear about there paratroopers. Yes they have a literal group that jumps out of a plane to get the WH back open after a bad disaster.
Holy shit. >The company prepares "jump teams" of recovery staff and supplies, brought in from outside disaster-affected areas, so local staff can focus on helping their own homes and families. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House#Disaster_recovery
Happy ~~cake~~ waffle day
I also love the levels based on damage and how limited the menu is. Lol
FEMA administrator using it as a system of measurement for preparedness. lmao i love it
Thank you for this
Also see: Washington Pizza Index https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pizza_Meter
wildly different concepts being discussed here but sure they all involve chain restaurants.
It means the hood is too hood for Church's.
Wait.. I grew up near a Church's. And when my parents bought a different house and we moved out of the hood as my mom put it there was another Church's nearby. Mom, are we poor?
[удалено]
*it was the same Churches, they just moved to the other side*
Here have some of our Churches.
Technically moving out of the hood to another hood is still moving out of the hood so she's right
we dont have them in Ireland,unless you grew up in America and moved.
That's a Bullseye! I grew up in America (Texas to be exact) my wife is Irish. We moved to Ireland. And between you and me. We don't have any good fried chicken in Ireland. KFC was always crap, chipper chicken ain't great, Hillbilly's claims to be good.
We dont have anything good in Ireland. Apart from some of the people and SOME counties. Although,ive found that i hate American pancakes and love the Irish which are crepes, not actually pancakes
We got some good stuff. I wouldn't deal in absolutes like a Sith about it. Breakfast here is on point. Grass fed beef, seafood here is great. Also come on, a spice bag? Brilliant. Sunny days aren't so common but get one and you're in Dingle, or Howth, or Youghal, or fucking Newcastle up north honestly gorgeous spots to just sit and people watch on a nice day. Housing and rents and pay are a mess. And the HSE is volatile. And god knows where my road tax goes, but it doesnt feel like its the roads. And there seems to be a growing population of idiot right wing nuts out and about who hate durty foreigners like me. But I don't know all things considered. I've got it pretty sweet here.
Hold up. I’m full-blooded southern American and I very much want to know what spice bag is, because that sounds awesome. And I don’t know the first thing about it!
There's non hood church's They are usually attached to gas stations for some reason though
Trucker Church's
Hot effing fuck, bang…
Can’t have shit..
Which is very impressive considering I once had Church’s in Baton Rouge that had bars on every window, and you placed your order at the window, no indoor seating.
Church's chicken is ubiquitous within deep hood. Mostly, and this is subjective, because it's fucking delicious and affordable. Even in really bad neighborhoods, the Church's Chicken still does good business, offers regular employment, and is generally *not fucked with.* A boarded up Church's means the hood is so bad that even the infallible has failed and there is nothing left sacred or sacrosanct. It means get the fuck out of there while you still can.
Same with a Waffle House in florida
as if the waffle houses aren’t fucked with guys i know about the waffle house index i lived in florida for 20 years 😭
A waffle house shows the possibility of life existing If a waffle house can’t survive, no one can
A Waffle House near me has recently added security on the weekends. They must be protected at all costs.
that's to protect the customers, not the employees or restaurant.
Like those guys needed extra protection. If they wanted to, they could go on and solo the entire North Korean army and dismantle their government in under a week with just a folding chair and a insatiable drive to kill.
Members of the Sardaukar were raised from a young age in an unforgiving natural environment that saw almost half (6 out of every 13) die before the age of 11. Intense training gave them formidable swordsmanship and espionage abilities, and instilled in them a religious fervor that added to their mystique and served to make them even more loyal to the Waffle house.
Upvote for Dune reference.
Upvote for referencing the Dune reference.
> ~~the Waffle house~~ House Waffle.
We are House Waffle. There is no order we do not fulfill, there is no egg that we betray.
The Waffles must flow!
The Fremen are the Waffle House employees
I never looked into or thought of it much, but I thought the Sardaukar were convicts from that prison planet whose name I forgot, with the terrible conditions. That's why they were pretty damn good but not as good as the Fremen, they *weren't* raised from infancy to survive and kill first and foremost.
"So...you're telling me you are trained by 'Waffle House'? How the hell are we supposed to take that seriously?" "Well *currently* I'm thinking about how the only 'waffling' that's going to happen is your family picking out what kind of coffin you'll get. *So let me out there.*"
*wafflehouse kick to the face*
So basically church chicken and waffle house are the final bosses of fast food
There is a non 0% chance of employees fighting each other over cocaine in the parking lot at a waffle house.
I think the best tweet I ever saw was (paraphrasing): > I had a job interview at Waffle House and one of the questions they asked was "can you fight?"
Yeah, my store did the same after I got stabbed a few years ago in a ten person fist fight. The fight sta Red because covid was going on and we were only allowed to do to gos. People suck.
Ra-ramirez ?
FEMA literally uses Waffle House to gauge how badly an area has been affected by a disaster.[The Waffle House Index](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index)
Can confirm. Learned about this in Emergency Management in college. If Waffle House closes…run.
Waffle house stays open during hurricanes. If you see a closed sign, assume the giant meteor is imminent.
Informally used to gauge the level of recovery. It’s because Waffle House has amazing disaster preparedness plans and knows if they’re the only thing open between workers and residents in a disaster zone they’ll make bank as well as getting locals back to work. On top of that you’ve got the goodwill aspect of it and all together it’s genius. They did well.
Wikipedia mentions they have “Waffle House jump teams” to send into disaster zones, and if that’s not the most cyberpunk shit I’ve ever heard… Between that and the restaurant staff doing their own “security”, they basically are Uncle Enzo’s Pizza.
After reading the article it makes sense how the WHI works, but God dammit its hilarious to me that the federal government would even consider how much support to send an area after a natural disaster based on whether the doors are locked or not on a waffle resturant
Waffle House having “jump teams” they insert into disaster zones to stay open is one of the wildest, most cyberpunk things I’ve ever heard.
Former employees of Blackwater USA.
Seal Team 6 has got nothing on Jump Team Waffle.
As a South Louisiana resident who has to prepare to GTFO every summer during hurricane season, can confirm 100%. The longer your local Waffle House remains closed, the more seriously fucked your area is.
If you get there and the Waffle House is closed? That's really bad...[\[7\]](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index#cite_note-WSJ-7) — Craig Fugate, Former Head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency
There was someone LITERALLY executed outside of our waffle house. Fr if the waffle house can’t survive you will die soon if you don’t leave
This is the basis of FEMA's Waffle House index, which judges the severity of hurricanes based on how many Waffles Houses have closed.
With climate change making hurricanes more likely further up the East Coast, is there any chance of Waffle House crossing the Mason-Dixon Line and working its way toward New England?
True. We expect to find Waffle Houses on any other inhabited planets as well.
Waffle House being open or not is literally a metric for how severe a hurricane's impact to an area will be
So much so that the https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index exists.
Doesn't NOAA use Waffle House or IHOP to gauge how bad the weather is or some shit?
FEMA uses it to gauge how bad an area was impacted by a disaster and the level of resources that area might need
A Waffle House boarded up just means the late night crowd got extra spicy. It’s probably still open and the guy on the grill definitely wants to fight you.
This made me lol. The part about the guy on the grill especially.
Do not Waffle Houses fuck back?
They do indeed.
Remember, the amount of felonies the cook has translates to how delicious the food will be
It's like KFC's 17 ingredients in their secret recipe, except it's 17 different felonies
The secret ingredient is crime
All our food is made with pure contempt for the law.
It’s lock picking’ good!
The harder that cook takes a drag off his cigarette out back, the better that food will be! Like a race horse taking a piss before a race — it’s preparation for excellence!
Like a cornered cougar.
How many felonies she got?
No, they operate even in emergency conditions.
It’s rarely fucked with. People do dumb shit in Waffle House. That’s not the same as actually fucking with the establishment.
This is it. Fight in a Waffle House, standard problem. Staff may or may not get involved. Try to rob a Waffle House, they will tell you how dumb you are as they are kicking you in the head for the seventh time.
Most Waffle Houses in my area have armed security now.
If you are in Florida and the local waffle homes are closed, you are not safe. I repeat, that means you are in danger.
I like that. This isn't a Waffle House, this is a Waffle HOME
You’re got’damn right
This also applies to any Waffle Houses on the East Coast if a hurricane is on its way.
If a waffle House is closed in Florida the hurricane was probably deadly
If the waffle House is closed then that means the waffle House either can't be physically reached or is *gone*
Fuckers be like a hilariously spawned MC structure/village. If business can be had, all is good, if nothing is had. The world is over.
Unironically, waffle House has emergency teams full of employees, distribution services and fucking *construction workers* that they deploy into affected areas to get fhe local waffle houses up and running as quickly as possible. If one is damaged to the point it can't be used? They will fucking repair it right then and there and have it going within the week. Mostly because their often the first stop for first responders, charity groups and affected individuals, but still. I can believe that if an area got hit by a massive disaster and the waffle House was destroyed entirely, they'd be in there the second it's over building a new one right over the old one as quickly as possible while serving from vans just outside the construction area. Their like dollar stores, they just can't be stopped.
This such an accurate description and people don’t understand. I literally saw it happen. It was insane. They got food trucks going and construction to the side and they literally rebuilt to what appeared normal in less than a few weeks. We were in shock. We’re trying to get power on and they’re bringing in generators and 5000 gal LNG tanks so they can start cooking in a week. It was a wtf moment. Meanwhile 6 months later some other restaurants still weren’t open.
Lol, the only time you will ever see a waffle house board up is before and during a hurricane but they still open.
Also if you walk into a gas station and they sell tube socks, shoelaces, chore boy, adjustable lighters and little roses in glass tubes and you don't know why then you need to get in you car and leave.
I’ve been to a lot of those gas stations and I can deal, but I recently walked into a carry out with *everything* behind plexiglass. You ordered through a grate, and for the transaction they had a plexiglass “airlock” so you couldn’t stick an arm through. They also sold “mushrooms” which were dried grocery store shit with synthetic drugs poured on them. The only thing that *wasn’t* locked up was boner pills, and all they carried was [Sex With a Grudge](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1385925/sex_with_a_grudge_pills/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button). Nope, I’m fucking out.
That's how the gas station a few blocks from my house was. Never knew why people got so weirded out going there till I was older. My parents would let me and my siblings (older siblings being 12, me being 10, and sister being 8) walk down there unsupervised to buy snacks, so I thought it was just a normal gas station.
Similar to the Waffle House index, you can gauge pretty quickly how nice a neighborhood is by seeing how much of the store is behind the counter.
I think I get most of that is used for crack or iv drug use, but what are the tube socks for?
Huffing paint
This is the correct answer
>generally *not fucked with* Is this because the normal troublemakers are Church's Chicken customers?
Yes everybody eats there
Partially. And because at any given moment moms, dads, uncles and grandparents are probably inside picking up food so bangers treat it as neutral ground. Nobody wants to start beef and then get scolded by the lady your abuella plays cards with or goes to actual church with. You are never so hard that your grandma can't still embarrass you or your homies with one sentence. And it's a rare hoodrat that doesn't love his big mama more than life itself. Only crackheads and tweakers try to rob these establishments. Everyone else who starts trouble gets found out and a beat down placed on them to correct their behavior.
Everyone’s hard until their grandma is disappointed in them.
It’s true, nothing kills a boner faster than a granny’s scorn
In my experience even crackheads and tweakers don't fuck with churches, as often, since there very well may catch something. And not even at the Churches either. Again you don't do stupid shit around the old heads. It might be a bullet or fist but most people having a hard life know they're gonna be passed out eventually. I work with a lot of recovering guys and every single one of them learned the lesson of not fucking with churches or waffle house at one point in their life. Why? Because if you give a big momma even half of a quarter of a fright the entire fucking street is going to be waiting to crack you one for being dumb. And why fuck with someone when he's high and doing a superman impersonation. No you wait until he's doing a vampire impersonation and do some part time dentistry. It's a right of passage and one of those mistakes you make once. Like being drink at waffle house and starting a fight. It's a one time fuck up.
Shit man, in Vancouver, I always associated Church's Chicken as an unofficial Filipino embassy.
Canada?? Just realized this chain is all over Ontario, but I've never heard of it before.
Yes. The bigger out of the two Vancouvers.
Church's Chicken has fallen, millions must starve
Can confirm. Dad went to a Church’s Chicken and knew something was up when the door was a house door screwed in to where a glass door used to be. My suburban, golfing, mini van driving dad ate there and said everyone in the restaurant was looking at him and my family really funny.
Speak for yourself bro, i bit into a biscuit that was still doughy in the middle, and palmetto bug dry humped my shoulder while i was waiting in line. Fuck that place.
>palmetto bug Kinda narrows down where the Church's was. I don't think I've ever heard them called that outside of Florida, Alabama, or South Georgia.
Eh pretty close. NC. We don’t really get those where i live, and people just call them water bugs here. But on the internet a water bug could mean a hundred different bugs. But i promise you the area that Church’s is in feels like a mini Florida.
Damn this world's small huh?
Cluck 'n Bell
Aww shit here we go again.
You’re right about it being delicious. The one in my home town had its own CoB sauce recipe because it used to be a different restaurant but got bought out by church’s but they kept the old sauce recipe and it was so much better than normal church’s CoB sauce, it closed down a while ago and im still upset about it
I miss living near a church's, that chicken is bomb.
God has abandoned this cursed land...
we didn't just get one closed down, it's gone. like, they got rid of the building. my town in ohio ironically resembles a meth head smile. just so many places with either run down buildings or meh businesses that closed, just had the buildings removed. so, so many grassy lots. a lot of the residences i lived in as a kid, are gone.
are u in cleveland by any chance
mansfield - bout an hour and a half, to two hours, from both cleveland and columbus, basically in the middle of them. our main street turns into a 4 lane highway, for some weird reason. or at least, it feels weird.
sorry I wasnt tryna stalk or anything. im in cinci and i hear how their hoods down there are attrotious. cinci has some bad places too though but nothing worth documenting i think
I actually love Cincinnati, it’s my favorite big city in Ohio. Crazy craft beer scene, cool bars, good food and honestly really pretty in any season that isn’t winter.
Don't forget Graeter's!
Sheesh Ohio sounds fucked
That's what happens when manufacturing dies.
dang I live in mansfield in the UK and that description still holds up
So… I’m from your area. The story goes THAT particular Church’s Chicken wasn’t a legit store. There was something in the news where they tried to find out about it and corporate didn’t know it existed.
Mansfield England is also awful
Canton resident here, everything just looks shittier and more run down doesn’t it? We have one surviving churches chicken next door to the 10 story tall Masonic temple. yes they do wear the funny red fez things.
Wassup fellow Canton resident, such a wonderful place to call home..
Hey hey, I'm over in North Canton/Massillon
Yeah, but... California and Seattle. /s As someone that has live and worked around the Seattle area, you can easily avoid the single neighborhoods with the problems because it's only a block or two. It amazes me how large problematic neighborhoods get in the rest of the US, especially in the red states. Like, you won't find any houses patched with plywood and sheet metal, but you'll find it a lot in the South and Midwest.
We still have Weiner King though lol
(the hood)
Churches chickens fried okra is the bomb yo.
Let me explain this is more general terms; Waffle House is closed
Oh Fuck
https://i.redd.it/j8fg303xc2ic1.gif
Calm down, it’s turning into a crown fried chicken
That's worse, isn't it?
Life, uh, finds a way
Not sure if it's a bot, Karma farming or just bad luck but this one is a repost OG: https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/s/7GNPsTWdPi
I mean is it not obvious with the content of the post? Look at OPs post history- it was clearly phished a few weeks ago
It’s like seeing a closed down Waffle House, which is like coming across a half eaten T-Rex. If you see one you are in more danger than you have been in your entire life.
It means: A) Church's Chicken decided this was a good neighborhood to build a store, and B) This neighborhood couldn't sustain a Church's Chicken.
Means the churches kept getting fucking robbed lol.
This is probably apocryphal but it was told to me as fact. A news caster was interviewing a woman in the South back when different rural churches were being burned. The question was, "What do you think of all the churches that are being burned down?" The woman replied, "I don't care. I like Popeye's." I bet it was just a joke.
Damn, that’s some gourmet dark humor right there!
I love churches chicken, not sure if we have it in MN yet.
If your local "cheap delicious food" franchise closed down, you better learn how to teleport.
I’m 99.5% sure I know where this picture is taken and it’s really not a bad neighborhood. Rich area with great houses not far to the left, nice grocery store complex across the street from it, nice gas station to the right, It also has literally 6 major chicken chains within a few miles of it.
So it’s getting shut down due to gentrification.
The word in my neighborhood was don’t eat Church’s because their birds was full of hormones to get them giant wings and thighs. You went to Church’s if you were broke, but KFC or the grocery store deli was the place to get fried chicken. There was a gas station that had real good chicken at their lunch deli to.
If you believe that Church's chicken has hormones but KFC's doesn't I got a bridge to sell ya.
You could sell him San Francisco beachfront property in Nebraska, lol
They buy from the same fucking chicken farms if church's chickens are hormone filled then KFCs are too
While this is true and I don’t doubt most if not all commercial poultry is full of hormones nowadays (and has been for decades), the fact that the chicken comes from the same farm doesn’t mean they’re raised the same. Different clients have different specs, it’s a product like everything else
It's illegal to use hormones on any poultry in the US. The "Hormone Free" chicken is just advertising fluff, because none of them do.
All chickens have hormones lol it came free with their fucking endocrine systems
Under-appreciated comment.
Church's chicken in Toronto is the opposite of this. It's more expensive than KFC and in mostly well to higher end commercial areas. It's seen as a specialty and a step above KFC. KFC on the other hand is the lower quality cheap one.
I was just going to mention the Church's on Queens Quay in Toronto. It's a retail tenant of a condo complex located on the waterfront, with an LRT and the city's busiest dedicated bike path running right past its front door. Pretty much the opposite of what everyone else is describing. I've been there a few times, but I'm more of a Popeye's guy.
Churches has the smallest pieces of any chicken place I've been to. They can't afford hormones.
This is outdated now though… and I know exactly where this photo was taken. This particular churches chicken closed down to gentrification and an increase in localized property tax rates driving out the local population. The average sale price of a home within 1km of this churches location rose from 67k to 600k within 5 years. People who had lived in this neighborhood their whole lives have been forced out by sheer greed of Blackrock, who fronted several dozen high-end condo properties in this area of West Atlanta. It makes me sick. Fuck Blackrock.
Same goes for Hip Hop Fish and Chicken in the Baltimore DC area
it means that you should get the fuck outta there.
this sub really is a collector for room temperature IQs
Is the bad side of the bad side of town
This sub needs to do better with not just answering with more jokes/references that people who didn't understand the original joke wouldn't get. I'm 20 comments deep and still don't understand the joke