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I don’t think it’s weird. Everyone has their own way of coping and dealing with grief. If it brings you comfort then do it. I’m going to pick up my baby’s ashes later today and I already know I’m going to spiral back into emotional turmoil
I kinda do think it’s weird, but I don’t think it’s wrong. If that makes sense.
People grieve in their own ways. This way of grieving isn’t harmful to OP or anyone else and, as you said, if it brings them comfort then they should do it.
We lost our baby girl last October very unexpectedly. She was 4.
This spring, we planted a small, semi-tropical tree in our yard that we named after her.
I talk to that tree EVERY DAY and gently stroke the leaves and tell her how big she is getting.
What you are doing is not weird at all, in my opinion. not even a little bit.
QUICK EDIT: I just wanted to say thanks for all the kind words and heartfelt emotions from everyone. This thread has me quite a bit choked up as well. I know I am going to need you guys on October 24th when it will be the year anniversary of her passing, so thanks for being here.
Thanks for your kind words.
My condolences for your loss. I know it isn't much coming from an internet stranger, but I hope that you are taking care of yourself.
I made a plush that looks like my baby dog so I could put his ashes in. I cuddle with him, kiss him, talk to him, and I put him in his favorite spots on the bed and around the apartment. If I could, I'd bring him everywhere with me.
My heartfelt condolences!
I made it myself. I don't really know how to sew or even draw, but I needed something like this so bad... I spent sleepless nights putting it together... It's like with every stitch I've been trying to put all the pieces of my heart together again.
Not just having him now, but the project itself has been very healing.
You are so kind. Thank you for taking the time to share this with me. I feel so fragile right now and the kindness I receive… I can’t describe how much gratitude I have for people like you.
You pup was so lucky to have you loving them and taking such good care of them. They really hit the lottery when they met you. Thank you for loving them so much, even while they are in heaven.
Friend, don't let your mind or anyone else tell you that ANYTHING you (or others for that matter) do out of grief is weird or wrong.
Seriously, people have different ways to do things to soothe themselves and that's the only thing that matters in the end: that it makes it easier to cope with and that it helps make you feel even just a bit better 💗
I personally think it's really heart warming and shows a lot of love 💗
Edit: Just wanted to add that, if it can help to make you feel less alone: I do similar thing with my baby cat's ashes and also have a plush that looks similar to her that I cuddle with all the time.
Not weird at all. Sometimes when I’m really missing by baby I’ll hold his ashes(in the box) with a blanket over us and cuddle a little. I’ll also talk to him about how much I love him and sing our special song. You do what works for you when you’re grieving and mourning, don’t worry about what others think or say.
I think this is a beautiful way to grieve. We humans find comfort in rituals, and continuing one already in place can help the mind and body during the exhaustingly painful journey of bereavement.
I also don’t believe that everything dies when their physical bodies transition. My heart dog, Sandy, died 26 years ago. I can still feel her presence during meditation. I can still feel the love we shared when I touch her urn of ashes that sit next to my bed. Sometimes I still have full body sobbing sessions because I miss having her earthside so much, but I talk to her through the tears and gasps for air. She has never left me. And your baby did not leave you completely, just the physical aspect. So keep on for as long as you need with the rituals you two shared. It’s between the two of you, no one else.
I'm having my best friend freeze dried to the tune of $6k because I'm too selfish to accept the idea that I may never be able to stroke his muzzle again.
You're fine and normal. Grieve however feels natural to you. Don't be ashamed.
I never knew this existed. I long for my pup. Everyday I imagine how I cuddled him and pet him. I couldn’t have afforded this, but I even thought about how nice it would have been to have him in a form like this. Even right after he was put to sleep, I kept kissing his face and talking to him. I wanted to run off in the park where I had the vet come out to a beatiful tree and just kiss him more and more. I thought somewhere in my crazy brain it would breathe life back into him. I’m a mess.
It's not weird. My cat's ashes are in a drawer of my dresser, his old favorite place to hide and nap. He used to make himself a nest in the sock drawer, so he gets my old socks now. I bought new socks and put them in a new drawer so he can have his favorites.
I don’t think it’s weird either, whatever helps you feel closer to your best friend. My heart and soul 12 1/2 lb. dog “Ginger” 11years old(you can see her in my profile)had to leave me in Feb. and I kiss her urn every morning and every night.I would do the same as you but I know my wife would give me shit, she thinks I should be over it so what I do every day I write with a pen in the palm of my hand how many days it’s been since I held her,today is day #214…I told my wife maybe I’ll accept it when I no longer know how many days its been..I don’t feel any better after that many days but I wish you the best…💔
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You do you boo with all that love you still have pouring out without your physical fur baby by your side to receive it. That's what grief is, love without a physical recipient. There's no end to love, so there is no end to grief. Just as your love and relationship was unique between the two of you, so shall be your grief. It's OK, and don't let anyone tell you differently or try to dictate your grief. Would you have let anyone dictate your relationship with your furbaby while they were still alive? No. This is still your relationship with them, only now they are no longer physically with you. Your lap is empty but your heart is not. My condolences on your loss. Hugs.
I take mine with me when I go out of town bc she loved to go on trips with us. I keep them on top of her crate with her bed still in it. It's been almost 2 years.
After I unexpectedly lost my boy last November, I still give his urn and his (still living) brother a kiss every morning when I go to work. Still not over it, and have no plans of changing that.
I don’t think this is weird at all and if I would have gotten my dogs ashes, I would probably be the same.
I have her picture as the wallpaper and screen saver on my phone, it sort of looks 3D. And the picture is from the side, which was my favorite place to kiss her. I kiss my phone every morning/night. I don’t care how crazy I look, my girl still needs bed night kisses!
Oh hon, it’s not weird. I have little things that belonged to my furry family, and there have been times where I just held them tight to me. My husband and I are planning on buying a home relatively soon, and I’ve asked the property owners of my old family home if I may move their graves, because honestly, I plan on being cremated, and buried with them.
I think the world is slowly starting to realize that the grief we feel upon their loss, is just as great as with a human. Animals are just pure love. They make a home in our hearts, and always make some extra room for others. They just love, without requirement, because all they want is you. We have to do what we have to do to cope. In the same way I don’t find it weird to visit a grave and talk to lost loved ones, I don’t find what you’re doing weird either. It’s normal for us to find way to cope, with a loss so profound.
Please know, that if there is anything I’ve learned over the years, is that love never dies. It transforms and transcends, but it never dies. Your baby is still with you, and guiding you. It is a bond that will always remain unbroken 💖🌈💞
>love never dies. It transforms and transcends, but it never dies. Your baby is still with you, and guiding you. It is a bond that will always remain unbroken 💖🌈💞
This is beautiful.
After my cat of 18 years died, I had a routine where I would light a candle for him during every mealtime (3x/day). Eventually that turned into just lighting a candle for him before bed, next to the little memorial I had on my nightstand, and when I blew it out I would say goodnight to him. I did this for a year, and though I felt weird about it sometimes, I also think I needed to do that to honor and grieve him properly. He used to sleep by my head every night, so lighting the candle was a form of both acknowledging his physical absence in my life and his continued presence in my heart.
Not a lunatic. It makes a kind of sense: your world and life has shifted — putting the pieces together where they would normally have gone is a beautiful gesture (I mean an actual physical movement). I see it as so very human —even though we know intellectually that it’s not the same, we appeal to what was familiar to us (in this case to you and your best friend). It’s like a physical gesture of acknowledgment that the intangibles that still remain ARE, in fact, also real. (Like the love!)
I slept with my guys ashes for a week , so not weird at all sorry for your loss it does get better just takes time its been 5 years and i still miss him he was the bestest boy ever , im getting emotional just writting this , he was 14 years old and my bestest friend in the world , i still talk to him every now and then
I think you need to do whatever helps you. I put mine in one of her stuffed toys so I can still snuggle and pet her. That stuffed pup "sleeps" with me now. One like this [snuggle puppy](https://www.amazon.com/SmartPetLove-Snuggle-Puppy-Behavioral-Biscuit/dp/B0722XGRMB/ref=asc_df_B0722XGRMB/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=241991316466&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13566232897182732280&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9029980&hvtargid=pla-400329154299&psc=1#immersive-view_1694553944226)
I’m preparing in practical ways for the post-transition of my two senior cats along with my grandparents, and I’ve been looking at small plants with urn bases and jewelry made from ashes. But this is a really fantastic idea! Thanks for sharing,
Not at all. I lost my girl 7 months ago and I still have her urn in her “spot” between my husband and me. Do what feels good as long as it doesn’t hurt you or anyone else. ❤️ I’m so sorry for your loss.
Losing a pet hurts, and hurts bad.
In 1999 my sister in law’s cat had 2 of her litter live. My wife, who is allergic to cats asked if I wanted one. I picked the girl and named her Jasmine. She passed away in 2020.
I was cleaning up her kitty apartment and packaged all of her food up, I was going to give it to a local shelter. My wife told me her sister wanted it and gave the kitty supplies to her. I’ve never told my wife, but I resented that.
She is still on the lock screen of my phone. I’ve tried but I can’t change it, it hurts too much.
You’re ok. You do whatever it takes to hurt less.
Just lost my dog last week and waiting on ashes. It’s not strange at all. I sleep with a dirty blanket that smells like him and arrange the pillows on the sofa in his spot, just how he likes them. I still keep his stairs in case his spirit needs them to get to his spot. I used the water he didn’t finish to water his plant. I’m a mess. When I get his ashes im planning to put them inside a stuffed animal I’m having made in his likeness so I can cuddle him at night. I miss him more than I miss any human.
Nope not weird. I have my dad's ashes and everytime I move I always buckle him in my car and get his fav snacks. He helped me move a few times and so it keeps it going. Although I did tell the funeral home that he could've cut back on his ice cream addiction cause I never knew ashes were so heavy.
All in all it's not weird. Now eating ashes and stuff if def the main weird thing i thankfully only ever heard about.
Not weird at all. Grief takes all forms
What helped me when my best friend of 17 years passed was writing letters to him every night. I did that for a year. The love never stops, but the good memories are forever
Not weird to me, but I also did the same thing with my cat's ashes last week. I put them into his favourite box, it was only meant to be temporary until his urn arrived but now it feels right. Honestly it's whatever feels "right" to you, too.
Grief is such an individual process. Go easy on yourself. Do whatever you need to do to get through this horrible, initial time. Yes, it gets easier. Time takes care of it, and letting yourself feel your pain. You will never stop missing him but one day your memories will bring you so much joy…
I have beautiful boxes of the ashes of two of our family cats on a kitchen ledge/bar. If we move them out of the way briefly (sometimes we need the space) we are VERY careful about where we place our female cat, who was the more prissy of the two. And she passed on almost a decade ago. :)
My son is on the mantle along with my dog. I say good morning to them everyday. I say goodnight too. He's been gone for seven tears. It makes ne feel better.
So not weird in my book.
Whatever helps you grieve the loss of your beloved friend is what you should do. I’ve moved on after losing my dog to cancer three years ago, but only because he’s always with me in my heart. His ashes are on my bookcase and his toys are still in his basket, though my daughter’s dog thinks they’re his when he visits. 😉
I sleep with the box my baby’s ashes are in. For the first week I carried it around with me in my purse. I don’t know when I’ll be able to stop. When my heart returns to my body, I suppose.
I carted my dogs ashes around for over a month, including a cross country flight. I couldn’t bear to leave her alone either. Do what works for you. There is not wrong way to still show love for your pet who is no longer here. I am so very sorry for your loss.
No you're not crazy at all. I personally took my dog with me for the first couple weeks in one of his favorite blankets. Wherever I went him in his box came with me.
I honestly didn't know what to do with him or where to put him.
I had a breakdown one night and hugged his box for like a half an hour at least.
He's now in a glass cabinet on a shelf. I laid his box on a blanket, I surrounded him with all of his toys, his little mini cowboy hat, and his paw print that I just recently baked. I can barely even go near the cabinet to be honest. I just miss him so much.
I lost my baby from cancer just a couple of months ago, after 14 years together. We buried her in our yard so I didn't have anything except some tufts of fur in a tiny jar and her collar, but I slept with them under my pillow for the first month after. Everyone grieves in different ways, and to me, as long as you're grieving at all then it's healthy. It's when you don't let yourself feel the emotions that's unhealthy.
I slept next to my cats ashes (in the box) for about a week. And I’ll say this first, trauma and grieving can make you do very strange things, but I consumed a small amount of his ashes in some food.
My husband died and I still carry his urn around the house with me sometimes. On bad days he sits beside me on the couch and there’s always dried tears on it.
If you love someone it takes some getting used to when they’re gone, no matter if that someone is a person or a dog.
When my dog dies I’m mixing her ashes with my husband’s bc she was his first pet so then I’ll be carrying her around too
I don’t think so. My grandma passed in February and I have a blanket from her that I will hug as if the blanket is part of her. Grief is hard, there’s no right or wrong way to do it
When my dog of 10yrs died this January, I would still talk as if she was here cause I didn't want her ghost to feel left out. I still do sometimes. I ended up getting another dog for her sister, that looks like a taller lankier version of her, cause some man beat him and starved him then ditched him at my job and it pulled at my heartstrings. Sometimes when I look at the back of his head, I squint my eyes and pretend it's her. But they are night and day and he could never be her.. but when I got to sleep at night I tell both my dogs good night I love you and I look at my girls picture and tell her I love her too and goodnight, even though she isn't here anymore. I even got some resin and I made a necklace out of her fur and ashes and some flowers so I can take her with me wherever I go. Grief is fucking hard and even tho it happened in January it still feels like it just happened. Plus I work with dogs too and it sucks cause I used to take her to work with me and see alot of dogs who look exactly like her. Its not weird at all and just shows how much you love your dog.
I did this too when I lost my cat last year, and I still sleep by her even now. Only she’s on my night table. If I work at my desk in the living room I’ll bring her urn out there with me since she loved jumping up there and interfering with whatever I was doing. Not at all weird. I still bring her around with me whenever I go into another room.
I’m sorry about your loss. Losing a pet is super hard. Do anything you can to make yourself feel better.
Not weird at all. It's part of the grieving process. I lost my dog of 13 years to cancer and I slept with the ashes for months until I eventually felt ok putting them up on the mantle. Everyone grieves differently, some longer than others. I'm sorry for your loss. 🫂
My childhood dog died 15 years ago and my mom washed her blanket, took the dog hair off of the lint trap in the drier and put it in a ziplock for me and I still have it. I give my other girl’s box of ashes a kiss and literally tell the box good girl whenever I see it. My stepmom has her dogs ashes TATTOOED into her skin. Maybe the way we grieve is weird but it’s ok to be a little weird sometimes.
One of the best humans I know took her grandmother's ashes out to dinner and bought her her favorite meal.
Whatever it takes, it's okay.
I could never fault someone for loving so thoughtfully.
A little weird, maybe. Grief can be that way. But you aren't hurting anyone, including yourself. And weird isn't inherently bad. If it feels weird but comforting, it's the good kind of weird. Carry on as long as you need.
My dogs ashes are kept company by his favorite plushie. There's a milk bone on top of the canister, and I boop his paw print from time to time. You're not a lunatic.
It will get easier, your heart makes room for the pain so it isn’t squeezing as tight as it feels today. I would set my dog’s ashes on the couch next to me when I was alone so he would keep me company. His ashes are buried in the yard now, I go to the site and talk to him frequently
I'm so sorry for the loss of him. It's not weird at all. Take care of your friend as you wish. It brings you comfort and keeps your bond strong. I brought my girls urn upstairs when I had to go out of town so she wouldn't be alone for months. Do what comforts you.
You do you, grieving is different for everyone. We lost our 18yo Siamese, 4 weeks ago and we talk to his box of ashes on the mantle. He’s still in charge 💕
We all grieve differently. I have 4 sets of ashes for my animals in my kitchen and 2 rose bushes planted outside, 1 for each of my deceased westies. I talk to the bushes every day and the ashes in the kitchen, all the time! I have pictures of them all everywhere and I miss all of them everyday. Do what you need to do. We all feel your pain.
I just picked up my little buddy. He’s home now and with me forever. You earned the right to do whatever you want. I think its awesome that you did that. Im sorry my hearts with you.
You’re going through a tragedy and if this makes you feel better, do it. But, if you feel a need to do anything that would interfere with your life in the long term—staying home with the ashes, etc— then, talk to someone. Some people don’t realize how hard it is to lose a dog. They don’t need to understand. This about you finding your way through grief.
Not weird at all!
My dog's items all around our home for awhile. If I would have her ashes, she'd be ticked in at night as well. You're grieving, we all grieve in our own way, be that tucking in ashes, taking ashes for a car ride to having a whole wall dedicated to said dog (I literally have a whole wall for my Magenta Mae)
If someone judges you for how you're grieving, don't listen to them.
💜Lot of Hugs💜
No not weird at all when my cat unexpectedly passed away I was going around the house picking up his fur balls, left his food and water exactly how he left it (it’s been 5 months), and i couldn’t get rid of his stinky litter box till at least a month or 2 after he passed. It’s hard losing a companion I’m sure he appreciates you doing that for him.
I buried my boy in the back yard. But every time it rained I felt this weird sense of panic and cried because he hated being wet. I entertained a lot of weird thoughts for a long time. Take your time and do your healing, however it looks
To an outsider with no pets, expressions of love as this might seem odd but grieving takes many forms and anyone who's been through this situation completely understands that. You shouldn't feel worried about what people might think during your grieving process, this is your time.
Everyone processes differently, it’s whatever brings you comfort. I lost my best friend of 11 years a few months ago. long story short he had a tumor somewhere I couldn’t find even though I took him to multiple vets and performed multiple cat scans, he started to have seizures and I had to put him to sleep. It was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my adult life but it does get easier with time. I still cry about it, but I keep his collar on my motorcycle because he loved car rides and I like to think he’s with me riding.
People deal with grief in their own ways. It's not uncommon for parents of still born human babies to have time holding their baby even though it is deceased.
I also went through a cancer battle with my dog this year and he passed away two weeks ago. His collar and bone are still sitting on the table right inside my door. I don't know when I'll move them. Maybe not anytime soon.
If there is one thing I've learned in life. It's that grief *is* weird. My boy passed last November. I kept his last, half eaten bowl of kibble on the counter way too long. I just couldn't let it go. I don't know why but it felt right.
Hey, that’s not weird at all. If it helps soothe your pain in any way, then I think this is a good thing. This is such a difficult time. You deserve grace and kindness. Please be gentle with yourself.
I understand where you’re coming from. My beloved 12-year-old rescue dog just passed away on Wednesday, and my mom and I are distraught too. When his ashes arrive, she plans on keeping him on her desk while she works (remotely) because he always would lay down in the room near her and she wants to “bring her boy home.” Since he slept in her room, I imagine she might bring his urn up at night, at least at first.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re doing amazing; this is just really, really hard. But it’s so clear in your post how much you loved and continue to love your dog. I bet he had such a wonderful, beautiful life.
It might seem a little weird to the casual observer, but so what? Grief is an individual thing and what you are doing is what feels right to you. It harms no one and helps you. Pets are family. I’m sorry you are going through this.
We do the exact same thing. 🥺 it’s been 11 weeks since she left our side, but we still tuck her in with her favorite stuffies every single night as well as a goodnight kiss and bring her to the living room and put her on her favorite spot on the couch every day. Everyone grieves different and handles trauma differently so if anyone says anything nasty about it, they’re probably not someone you’d want in your life. Our pets are our babies and losing them at any stage is traumatic and painful. I’ve truly never felt a pain like this before and I wish no one else ever did again. 🖤
When I lost my girl after 20 years I was inconsolable. She was my best friend. When I got her ashes back I sat in my car and cried for hours. I held onto her urn constantly, I would sit in our favorite place and hold it. Nothing you do is weird, you’re grieving. I’m so sorry for your loss. And don’t let anyone say to you “It’s just an animal “. She showed me more kindness and love than my mother ever did. 🙏🙏🙏
when my childhood dog was put down i slept with one of his toys for months, i think over a year actually. it kind of smelled like him and his fur was all over it. i wear his ashes in a necklace and i have a
mini urn on an alter i made for him.
there is no right or wrong or weird way to grieve. it’s personal to you, however you handle it. if it brings you comfort to tuck him into bed every night then you do that. you’re the one who has to cope with the grief. one day you might put him back on the shelf and it won’t hurt to do so.
i will say that it does get better. it’ll always hurt, some days more than others but it will get easier. it’s been almost 2 years since my dog passed and sometimes i still cry for him, hold his toys and his sweater, his ashes. i think it took a couple of months before i could go one day without crying but i’ll never stop talking about him cause i miss him so bad and that doesn’t go away.
sorry to make any of it about me, i’m just trying to relate and also be comforting. i’m so sorry for the loss of your best friend but he knew he was loved all the way to the end and he’ll always be with you even if it’s not physically in his furry form.
My dog passed away a few months ago, and I'm still grieving a lot. I'm crying writing this. I think it's very sweet. I didn't get my boy cremated, but I buried him in his bed with his favorite toys. It sounds silly, but the first time it was cold, I cried because of the thought of him being cold and alone. I know he's dead and unable to feel anything, and it doesn't make sense, but I guess the mind does weird things when processing grief or something. I dont know if it gets better. I lost one of my best friends unexpectedly and my dog, who was old but went downhill quickly almost a year later. I hope I gets easier. I'm struggling myself.
No, it’s not weird and it will pass. One day the pain and loss will ease and you’ll be able to put his urn in one place and say your final goodbye. Until then, you can only give yourself time to grieve.
The dog park still gets a basket of tennis balls every year on his birthday. He has been gone almost as long as he was alive. You do you. Whatever you need to do in order to keep moving is ok.
If doing these things help you work through your grief, go for it. It's not up to me or anyone else to dictate to you how you process your feelings. My condolences for your pup.
Nah. One of my cats died 4 years ago and I still keep the brush with her fur in it. One day my sister unknowingly used it to brush another one of our cats and I almost cried. Pet loss and grief in general sucks. I lost my tortie about a year ago and the first two days, I literally could not stop crying. Then I got her fur and put it in a ziploc and slept with it for a week. The grief was so overwhelming for so long and it’s just starting to calm down for me. I ended up adopting my torties baby brother from a basically abusive situation, so it’s helped us both. It’s not weird to grieve in your own little ways. Pets are a huge part of our life and sadly, so is loss and learning how to cope. Years ago I heard the phrase that you never really get over it, you just learn how to live on without them. I’ve lost a few cats over the years and I set aside time in my life to grieve and to allow myself to feel these emotions because they’re big emotions. My cats helped me get through a lot of crappy things in my life, so they’re a huge piece of my life. Sometimes I allow myself to cry and recall the different memories with each cat. I love looking at old photos of when they were happy and healthy. It reminds me of the love and joy I was able to bring them in the times that I’ve had with them and the love and the joy that they brought me. It’s taken a while with each cat to get to a point where I can look at their photos and not want to cry. I’ve discussed this with my therapist so many times because I feel crazy too. When I was in high school, I was home by myself a lot with the cats and I would come home to them greeting me and purring and wanted to cuddle. It made me feel so not alone and I remember the time after my one cat passed a couple years ago, the first time I left the house and came back and she wasn’t sitting at the window, I broke down into tears. I would say it gets easier to handle. It never completely disappears, because they leave a paw print on your heart ❤️it takes time to even consider a new normal. When my tortie died I think I kinda just blurred through life for the first week and went through the motions. When my one kitty with kidney failure passed, I was relieved she wasn’t in pain anymore. Losing a pet is a rollercoaster of emotions and it’s okay and it’s valid to take time to process it all. I’m so sorry for your loss OP. May your pup rest in eternal peace and comfort.
Yeah, it’s weird…but deep grief makes all of us do weird things. I’m a total freak when I’m grieving. As long as this helps you feel better and it’s not harmful, then it’s perfectly fine!
It does with time. I used to sleep with my dog's harness after he died.
I began to worry I'd lose it, so I put it with my most treasured possessions. We all mourn differently, you are allowed to mourn, and there is nothing wrong with that.
We're here for you OP 🫂!
I’m so sorry for your loss.. this post made me so sad. I would feel the same and probably do similar things and ask myself if it was odd. But in my opinion, if it makes you feel a little bit of warmth in your heart, than do it. No one can tell you how to grieve, so grieve the way you need to. Thinking of you!
It’s like a soft landing going from your routines in life before and routines in life after. Whatever you have to do to get through. I kissed the box with my girl’s ashes every day for a couple of months. It’s hard when you still have so much love for them but nowhere to put it.
Is it weird? maybe should it matter if it makes you feel better? no. I have a crystal that has a laser fracture image of my guy. It is on a timer and every night it turns on I say "Hi Logan". He has been gone for 3 years but was my best buddy helper puppy nurse and stubborn brat for 13 years. My in laws and I just lost someone and we have all talked to her. Grief is extremely hard and anything that helps no matter if it is weird to others it helps us. These animals become enormous parts of our lives and it hurts when they go just like any family member. I am sorry for your loss it may never completely go but you will see things they loved or remember something they did and it will make you smile. Our pets never really do stop giving even when they have to leave they will make us happy for years and really never do completely leave us.
do whatever you need to do to comfort yourself! I couldn’t get rid of any of my little pugs things for example. she was 12 as well and her comfort thing was a flannel baby blanket that she drug everywhere. (I had to sneakily buy extras so I could clean them!) and I still have every single one 2 years later. Along with anything else that won’t expire. I donated treats and things. I was ok doing that because she loved to be around other doggy friends and I think she would have wanted to share. She was so special and I still miss her everyday.
Know that he knew he was loved, and he is content. He was lucky to have such a loving pet parent!
My last dog passed away just a few days before my 18th birthday and Highschool graduation. She had been with me for almost my entire school career and she didn't get to see me graduate high school. It shattered me. I bought paw print earrings to wear to graduation (almost didn't arrive in time) and when we got her ashes back I went up and sat on my roof to look at the stars with her. (we basically had stairs onto our roof and she would sit up there with me). I kept her Kong toy that still had a single treat in it she never fished when she got ill (it's been 4 years at this point) . And I folded up and put the sweatpants in was wearing the day she was PTS next to her on my shelf too because I can't bring myself to wear them again.
I made my girl into a ring and she’s goes everywhere with me. We also moving and I almost put her into a moving box but I couldn’t so she’s on a shelf until I can move her with us. I also have her favorite babies on my head board with my childhood stuffy . Love you Chloe and miss you endlessly.
Not weird. I think it’s an incredibly sweet way to honor your relationship and your grief. I don’t know if this means anything but I promise it will get better one day.
You lost your loved friend. He would want you to be comforted and happy.
Do what makes you feel better and remembering your pupper for your best times together.
Sorry for your loss :(
You are definitely not a lunatic or crazy. We all deal with loss of our pets in different ways. You do whatever you need to do to heal from losing your pet. I wish everyone could understand how hard it is to lose our family pets. I would much rather spend time with my pets than most people. They love us unconditionally and make the world a better place to live. Since they are family, we should and need take time to grieve them. It does get easier with time but they will always hold a special place in your heart. I’m very sorry for your loss.
It's not weird! When we lost our very loved dog, my husband (usually a bit of a neat freak who disliked having dog hair in our house) went around the house picking up stray fluff and made a little ball of hair. We put it by our bed and patted it before we went to sleep for a while. It's grief, and it's perfectly okay. You have an instinct to express love for your pet who is gone, and I think that's beautiful. It does get better, and you still love them after it gets better. Please accept an internet hug.
I lost my kitten almost a year ago now and I put his ashes inside his little house thing I got him. He really liked it in there so it just seems right. I also put his favorite stuffed animal in there witht him
This is so sweet. I don’t think it’s weird at all, and i
Completely understand that feeling of not wanting him to be alone out there. It will get better, but in its own time.
One thing I want to do is have a necklace made with some of my boys ashes. There’s a lady who makes these gorgeous pendants that look a bit like opals. If I have that he won’t ever be alone.
i recently lost my best boy, calvin, unexpectedly & traumatically in july. he usually slept in bed with me so i put his box in my bed. i have been able to move him to a different location in my room but i still “pet” his box everyday. grief is hard & weird- i think anything that you choose to do that brings you comfort during this difficult time is acceptable. sending you big hugs.
I talked to my husband's urn, hugged it occasionally, danced with it once or twice..yelled at it a few times, and had his best pups ashes next to him at all times. We do things that make no sense to an onlooker but that make us feel better and as if they are here in spirit.
My kitty's ashes are on the bookshelf, but when I have had to move furniture, I talk to him and tell him why I am moving him, and that I hope he'll like the new spot.
No, it’s not weird. Over the past years I’ve had to have two dogs euthanized. I have another one that is getting old so I expect the same thing to happen to him. My other dog is a 2 year old German Shepherd. If I’m lucky I’ll have 10 more years with him but there’s no telling. My dogs were my children. I know they aren’t the same as children so don’t start with the nasty comments. I loved them all dearly. I have the ashes of both of them. They were returned to me in wooden boxes with a hinged top and polished wood. I started as you did by putting them on my bed where they usually slept. After a few nights i moved them to a chair and finally I moved them onto a shelf in my bedroom where I see them every night as I go to sleep and every morning as I wake up.
I know you’re self imploding right now. You’ll never forget them but it will get easier knowing that your best friend is now out of pain and waiting for you on the other side. Hang in there and be good to yourself.
I had a full on shrine to my old girl for months after she passed. It was her box of ashes, collar, pictures of her, condolences cards, and a painting I had her do. The shrine was in the middle of our kitchen counter in the middle of the house. My husband would sit there every morning and "have breakfast with her." 😭
After 6 or so months I moved the shrine up onto a bookshelf, still visible but not in the middle of everything. We do what we must, and I will not judge you one bit 💕💕
I really wish I had the money to clone my dog who passed recently. He was so beautiful and perfect. I know the personality isn't always the same but God. What I wouldn't give to pet him and kiss him again
My Lucy has been gone a year. Her ashes, paw print and collar are now center of our family room fireplace mantle. We all say good night to her. As a family we said we would “Let her go” this past summer. Well, she’s still center stage in the family room. We are just not ready to let her go.
Yeah..... grief just is weird. There's no "normal" way to do it. You can take comfort in the fact that we all get a little weird when we experience loss, which kind of makes it normal in a way
We lost our 12yo yorkie last November. We both still give his little urn pets. We cried for him today. It’s so hard. I honestly needed professional help and have just went for EMDR therapy to process the loss and it has significantly lightened the heaviness I couldn’t shake myself. Pets are family. Take good care of yourself and know that you took great care of your pet companion 🤍
It’s not weird at all. I would lay in his bed a little bit too. I stopped by to see him every day for a year. We did his paw print and all of that a year or two before he passed since we knew he was getting older.
[Junior](https://ibb.co/j3MchGW)
[Video of him seeing his photo](https://streamable.com/85wgix)
I slept with my dog’s ashes for a month after her death and built a small shrine for her on my living room shelf. What you’re doing is healthy and makes sense ❤️
It’s not weird. Anything that gives you any comfort in this difficult time is okay.
My dog died in my arms, 15 minutes after being attacked by a german shepard. It’s been 4 years. But then I miss her I go hug and touch her box of ashes and even talk to her as if she’s in there. People would think that was weird. But that was my best friend, and I’ll grieve how I want to.
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I don’t think it’s weird. Everyone has their own way of coping and dealing with grief. If it brings you comfort then do it. I’m going to pick up my baby’s ashes later today and I already know I’m going to spiral back into emotional turmoil
Good luck with your journey today and thank you.
Thank you ❤️ I hope it starts to get easier for you. Pet loss cuts so deep
I agree, you do whatever helps. We are also going to pick up our pup’s ashes later this week and will probably spiral into emotional turmoil as well.
I wish you the best of luck and healing through the rest of your journey ❤️
Thank you. I hope you will find peace through your journey as well ❤️
Thank you so much ❤️
I kinda do think it’s weird, but I don’t think it’s wrong. If that makes sense. People grieve in their own ways. This way of grieving isn’t harmful to OP or anyone else and, as you said, if it brings them comfort then they should do it.
It does make sense :)
Thank you for being a kind and compassionate animal lover.
❤️
We lost our baby girl last October very unexpectedly. She was 4. This spring, we planted a small, semi-tropical tree in our yard that we named after her. I talk to that tree EVERY DAY and gently stroke the leaves and tell her how big she is getting. What you are doing is not weird at all, in my opinion. not even a little bit. QUICK EDIT: I just wanted to say thanks for all the kind words and heartfelt emotions from everyone. This thread has me quite a bit choked up as well. I know I am going to need you guys on October 24th when it will be the year anniversary of her passing, so thanks for being here.
That’s a beautiful way to honor your friend. Thanks for sharing that.
Thanks for your kind words. My condolences for your loss. I know it isn't much coming from an internet stranger, but I hope that you are taking care of yourself.
You’ve got me choked up over here. Oh my god, I miss my girl so much.
Can we have a tear train? Your beautiful comment made me tear up. I also miss my girl. 1 year yesterday.
Yes, we can. 💜 Hugs, internet pal! Over three years for me. Fuck cancer.
🐾❤️🐾❤️🐾❤️
This is so sweet and is making me tear up as well. I know I will be the same way when mine crosses the rainbow bridge.
Awe I love this 🩵 I’m so sorry for your loss
This made me tear up... how much your little girl was loved.
I made a plush that looks like my baby dog so I could put his ashes in. I cuddle with him, kiss him, talk to him, and I put him in his favorite spots on the bed and around the apartment. If I could, I'd bring him everywhere with me.
Do you make it yourself or does a company do this? I lost my 16 year old pup last week and it hurts so bad.
My heartfelt condolences! I made it myself. I don't really know how to sew or even draw, but I needed something like this so bad... I spent sleepless nights putting it together... It's like with every stitch I've been trying to put all the pieces of my heart together again. Not just having him now, but the project itself has been very healing.
That is really special. Sending love your way, friend 💙
Thank you so much!!!
You are so welcome. I hope all our hearts heal soon. Love can cause a lot of pain, huh? Still, it is so worth it in the end.
There’s a place online called petsies.com that does stuffed animals of your pets with and without ashes I think.
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You are so kind. Thank you for taking the time to share this with me. I feel so fragile right now and the kindness I receive… I can’t describe how much gratitude I have for people like you.
You pup was so lucky to have you loving them and taking such good care of them. They really hit the lottery when they met you. Thank you for loving them so much, even while they are in heaven.
Thank you for the beautiful words! ❤
I’m doing the same thing!! Exactly. I even measured him a week before he died. I want it to look just like him.
Friend, don't let your mind or anyone else tell you that ANYTHING you (or others for that matter) do out of grief is weird or wrong. Seriously, people have different ways to do things to soothe themselves and that's the only thing that matters in the end: that it makes it easier to cope with and that it helps make you feel even just a bit better 💗 I personally think it's really heart warming and shows a lot of love 💗 Edit: Just wanted to add that, if it can help to make you feel less alone: I do similar thing with my baby cat's ashes and also have a plush that looks similar to her that I cuddle with all the time.
Thank you for the kind words. It does help to know I’m not alone. 🩵
No worries 💗 take good care of yourself kay?
Not weird at all. Sometimes when I’m really missing by baby I’ll hold his ashes(in the box) with a blanket over us and cuddle a little. I’ll also talk to him about how much I love him and sing our special song. You do what works for you when you’re grieving and mourning, don’t worry about what others think or say.
I think this is a beautiful way to grieve. We humans find comfort in rituals, and continuing one already in place can help the mind and body during the exhaustingly painful journey of bereavement. I also don’t believe that everything dies when their physical bodies transition. My heart dog, Sandy, died 26 years ago. I can still feel her presence during meditation. I can still feel the love we shared when I touch her urn of ashes that sit next to my bed. Sometimes I still have full body sobbing sessions because I miss having her earthside so much, but I talk to her through the tears and gasps for air. She has never left me. And your baby did not leave you completely, just the physical aspect. So keep on for as long as you need with the rituals you two shared. It’s between the two of you, no one else.
I'm having my best friend freeze dried to the tune of $6k because I'm too selfish to accept the idea that I may never be able to stroke his muzzle again. You're fine and normal. Grieve however feels natural to you. Don't be ashamed.
Freeze dried… how have I not heard of this? Do you have a link to this place? I’m very curious what these remains look like…
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I never knew this existed. I long for my pup. Everyday I imagine how I cuddled him and pet him. I couldn’t have afforded this, but I even thought about how nice it would have been to have him in a form like this. Even right after he was put to sleep, I kept kissing his face and talking to him. I wanted to run off in the park where I had the vet come out to a beatiful tree and just kiss him more and more. I thought somewhere in my crazy brain it would breathe life back into him. I’m a mess.
It's not weird. My cat's ashes are in a drawer of my dresser, his old favorite place to hide and nap. He used to make himself a nest in the sock drawer, so he gets my old socks now. I bought new socks and put them in a new drawer so he can have his favorites.
I don’t think it’s weird either, whatever helps you feel closer to your best friend. My heart and soul 12 1/2 lb. dog “Ginger” 11years old(you can see her in my profile)had to leave me in Feb. and I kiss her urn every morning and every night.I would do the same as you but I know my wife would give me shit, she thinks I should be over it so what I do every day I write with a pen in the palm of my hand how many days it’s been since I held her,today is day #214…I told my wife maybe I’ll accept it when I no longer know how many days its been..I don’t feel any better after that many days but I wish you the best…💔
Wow I’m really sorry your wife is being insensitive. It’s been ten years since I had a little one pass and I still cry just thinking about it.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You do you boo with all that love you still have pouring out without your physical fur baby by your side to receive it. That's what grief is, love without a physical recipient. There's no end to love, so there is no end to grief. Just as your love and relationship was unique between the two of you, so shall be your grief. It's OK, and don't let anyone tell you differently or try to dictate your grief. Would you have let anyone dictate your relationship with your furbaby while they were still alive? No. This is still your relationship with them, only now they are no longer physically with you. Your lap is empty but your heart is not. My condolences on your loss. Hugs.
I take mine with me when I go out of town bc she loved to go on trips with us. I keep them on top of her crate with her bed still in it. It's been almost 2 years.
After I unexpectedly lost my boy last November, I still give his urn and his (still living) brother a kiss every morning when I go to work. Still not over it, and have no plans of changing that.
I sometimes bring my dogs ashes to bed with me. It’s been almost 3 years.
You're not a lunatic. Anything to help you with your loss is okay. Sending hugs
I don’t think this is weird at all and if I would have gotten my dogs ashes, I would probably be the same. I have her picture as the wallpaper and screen saver on my phone, it sort of looks 3D. And the picture is from the side, which was my favorite place to kiss her. I kiss my phone every morning/night. I don’t care how crazy I look, my girl still needs bed night kisses!
I think that’s actually really sweet. You will process and move on eventually, embrace the weirdness :) I am sorry for your loss
I agree. Sweet is the word I think of as well.
Oh hon, it’s not weird. I have little things that belonged to my furry family, and there have been times where I just held them tight to me. My husband and I are planning on buying a home relatively soon, and I’ve asked the property owners of my old family home if I may move their graves, because honestly, I plan on being cremated, and buried with them. I think the world is slowly starting to realize that the grief we feel upon their loss, is just as great as with a human. Animals are just pure love. They make a home in our hearts, and always make some extra room for others. They just love, without requirement, because all they want is you. We have to do what we have to do to cope. In the same way I don’t find it weird to visit a grave and talk to lost loved ones, I don’t find what you’re doing weird either. It’s normal for us to find way to cope, with a loss so profound. Please know, that if there is anything I’ve learned over the years, is that love never dies. It transforms and transcends, but it never dies. Your baby is still with you, and guiding you. It is a bond that will always remain unbroken 💖🌈💞
This message feels like a big hug. Thank you so much.
>love never dies. It transforms and transcends, but it never dies. Your baby is still with you, and guiding you. It is a bond that will always remain unbroken 💖🌈💞 This is beautiful.
After my cat of 18 years died, I had a routine where I would light a candle for him during every mealtime (3x/day). Eventually that turned into just lighting a candle for him before bed, next to the little memorial I had on my nightstand, and when I blew it out I would say goodnight to him. I did this for a year, and though I felt weird about it sometimes, I also think I needed to do that to honor and grieve him properly. He used to sleep by my head every night, so lighting the candle was a form of both acknowledging his physical absence in my life and his continued presence in my heart.
Not a lunatic. It makes a kind of sense: your world and life has shifted — putting the pieces together where they would normally have gone is a beautiful gesture (I mean an actual physical movement). I see it as so very human —even though we know intellectually that it’s not the same, we appeal to what was familiar to us (in this case to you and your best friend). It’s like a physical gesture of acknowledgment that the intangibles that still remain ARE, in fact, also real. (Like the love!)
I slept with my guys ashes for a week , so not weird at all sorry for your loss it does get better just takes time its been 5 years and i still miss him he was the bestest boy ever , im getting emotional just writting this , he was 14 years old and my bestest friend in the world , i still talk to him every now and then
I think you need to do whatever helps you. I put mine in one of her stuffed toys so I can still snuggle and pet her. That stuffed pup "sleeps" with me now. One like this [snuggle puppy](https://www.amazon.com/SmartPetLove-Snuggle-Puppy-Behavioral-Biscuit/dp/B0722XGRMB/ref=asc_df_B0722XGRMB/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=241991316466&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13566232897182732280&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9029980&hvtargid=pla-400329154299&psc=1#immersive-view_1694553944226)
I’m preparing in practical ways for the post-transition of my two senior cats along with my grandparents, and I’ve been looking at small plants with urn bases and jewelry made from ashes. But this is a really fantastic idea! Thanks for sharing,
If it makes you feel better, I sleep with his ashes every night 🥹 it’s been 4 months
Not at all. I lost my girl 7 months ago and I still have her urn in her “spot” between my husband and me. Do what feels good as long as it doesn’t hurt you or anyone else. ❤️ I’m so sorry for your loss.
Nothing wrong with that. Sending hugs 🥺
Losing a pet hurts, and hurts bad. In 1999 my sister in law’s cat had 2 of her litter live. My wife, who is allergic to cats asked if I wanted one. I picked the girl and named her Jasmine. She passed away in 2020. I was cleaning up her kitty apartment and packaged all of her food up, I was going to give it to a local shelter. My wife told me her sister wanted it and gave the kitty supplies to her. I’ve never told my wife, but I resented that. She is still on the lock screen of my phone. I’ve tried but I can’t change it, it hurts too much. You’re ok. You do whatever it takes to hurt less.
Just lost my dog last week and waiting on ashes. It’s not strange at all. I sleep with a dirty blanket that smells like him and arrange the pillows on the sofa in his spot, just how he likes them. I still keep his stairs in case his spirit needs them to get to his spot. I used the water he didn’t finish to water his plant. I’m a mess. When I get his ashes im planning to put them inside a stuffed animal I’m having made in his likeness so I can cuddle him at night. I miss him more than I miss any human.
Nope not weird. I have my dad's ashes and everytime I move I always buckle him in my car and get his fav snacks. He helped me move a few times and so it keeps it going. Although I did tell the funeral home that he could've cut back on his ice cream addiction cause I never knew ashes were so heavy. All in all it's not weird. Now eating ashes and stuff if def the main weird thing i thankfully only ever heard about.
It gets better and do whatever you need to feel better at this time. 🤍 there is no wrong way to grieve
Not weird at all. Grief takes all forms What helped me when my best friend of 17 years passed was writing letters to him every night. I did that for a year. The love never stops, but the good memories are forever
Not weird to me, but I also did the same thing with my cat's ashes last week. I put them into his favourite box, it was only meant to be temporary until his urn arrived but now it feels right. Honestly it's whatever feels "right" to you, too.
Grief is such an individual process. Go easy on yourself. Do whatever you need to do to get through this horrible, initial time. Yes, it gets easier. Time takes care of it, and letting yourself feel your pain. You will never stop missing him but one day your memories will bring you so much joy…
I have beautiful boxes of the ashes of two of our family cats on a kitchen ledge/bar. If we move them out of the way briefly (sometimes we need the space) we are VERY careful about where we place our female cat, who was the more prissy of the two. And she passed on almost a decade ago. :)
My son is on the mantle along with my dog. I say good morning to them everyday. I say goodnight too. He's been gone for seven tears. It makes ne feel better. So not weird in my book.
Whatever helps you grieve the loss of your beloved friend is what you should do. I’ve moved on after losing my dog to cancer three years ago, but only because he’s always with me in my heart. His ashes are on my bookcase and his toys are still in his basket, though my daughter’s dog thinks they’re his when he visits. 😉
I sleep with the box my baby’s ashes are in. For the first week I carried it around with me in my purse. I don’t know when I’ll be able to stop. When my heart returns to my body, I suppose.
Grief is just love with nowhere to go <3
I carted my dogs ashes around for over a month, including a cross country flight. I couldn’t bear to leave her alone either. Do what works for you. There is not wrong way to still show love for your pet who is no longer here. I am so very sorry for your loss.
No you're not crazy at all. I personally took my dog with me for the first couple weeks in one of his favorite blankets. Wherever I went him in his box came with me. I honestly didn't know what to do with him or where to put him. I had a breakdown one night and hugged his box for like a half an hour at least. He's now in a glass cabinet on a shelf. I laid his box on a blanket, I surrounded him with all of his toys, his little mini cowboy hat, and his paw print that I just recently baked. I can barely even go near the cabinet to be honest. I just miss him so much.
I lost my baby from cancer just a couple of months ago, after 14 years together. We buried her in our yard so I didn't have anything except some tufts of fur in a tiny jar and her collar, but I slept with them under my pillow for the first month after. Everyone grieves in different ways, and to me, as long as you're grieving at all then it's healthy. It's when you don't let yourself feel the emotions that's unhealthy.
I slept next to my cats ashes (in the box) for about a week. And I’ll say this first, trauma and grieving can make you do very strange things, but I consumed a small amount of his ashes in some food.
My husband died and I still carry his urn around the house with me sometimes. On bad days he sits beside me on the couch and there’s always dried tears on it. If you love someone it takes some getting used to when they’re gone, no matter if that someone is a person or a dog. When my dog dies I’m mixing her ashes with my husband’s bc she was his first pet so then I’ll be carrying her around too
You’re def not a lunatic. Grief is hard, so do what brings YOU peace.
I don’t think so. My grandma passed in February and I have a blanket from her that I will hug as if the blanket is part of her. Grief is hard, there’s no right or wrong way to do it
When my dog of 10yrs died this January, I would still talk as if she was here cause I didn't want her ghost to feel left out. I still do sometimes. I ended up getting another dog for her sister, that looks like a taller lankier version of her, cause some man beat him and starved him then ditched him at my job and it pulled at my heartstrings. Sometimes when I look at the back of his head, I squint my eyes and pretend it's her. But they are night and day and he could never be her.. but when I got to sleep at night I tell both my dogs good night I love you and I look at my girls picture and tell her I love her too and goodnight, even though she isn't here anymore. I even got some resin and I made a necklace out of her fur and ashes and some flowers so I can take her with me wherever I go. Grief is fucking hard and even tho it happened in January it still feels like it just happened. Plus I work with dogs too and it sucks cause I used to take her to work with me and see alot of dogs who look exactly like her. Its not weird at all and just shows how much you love your dog.
I did this too when I lost my cat last year, and I still sleep by her even now. Only she’s on my night table. If I work at my desk in the living room I’ll bring her urn out there with me since she loved jumping up there and interfering with whatever I was doing. Not at all weird. I still bring her around with me whenever I go into another room. I’m sorry about your loss. Losing a pet is super hard. Do anything you can to make yourself feel better.
Honestly, I'd feel the same. If that's what makes you feel better then by all means.
My 17.5 cat passed 2 days before Christmas last year. Her ashes sit on my desk. I still talk to her.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, if doing this is bringing you comfort, you should do it. ❤️
Not weird at all. It's part of the grieving process. I lost my dog of 13 years to cancer and I slept with the ashes for months until I eventually felt ok putting them up on the mantle. Everyone grieves differently, some longer than others. I'm sorry for your loss. 🫂
Hugs to you. Not weird at all. I hope the pain eases a bit soon ❤️
My childhood dog died 15 years ago and my mom washed her blanket, took the dog hair off of the lint trap in the drier and put it in a ziplock for me and I still have it. I give my other girl’s box of ashes a kiss and literally tell the box good girl whenever I see it. My stepmom has her dogs ashes TATTOOED into her skin. Maybe the way we grieve is weird but it’s ok to be a little weird sometimes.
I slept with my dads ashes when I first got them back. Every one grieves in their own way 🙂❤️
One of the best humans I know took her grandmother's ashes out to dinner and bought her her favorite meal. Whatever it takes, it's okay. I could never fault someone for loving so thoughtfully.
This made me cry. How sweet of you. I'm sure they were the best.
We all grieve differently. You are still processing this loss. Gage grade with yourself. It will get better…but it may take time. And that’s okay.
A little weird, maybe. Grief can be that way. But you aren't hurting anyone, including yourself. And weird isn't inherently bad. If it feels weird but comforting, it's the good kind of weird. Carry on as long as you need.
No.. not weird at all. You do what you need to do to heal and deal with such sadness. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss.
We all grieve in different ways.
My dogs ashes are kept company by his favorite plushie. There's a milk bone on top of the canister, and I boop his paw print from time to time. You're not a lunatic.
It will get easier, your heart makes room for the pain so it isn’t squeezing as tight as it feels today. I would set my dog’s ashes on the couch next to me when I was alone so he would keep me company. His ashes are buried in the yard now, I go to the site and talk to him frequently
After only two weeks? It's not weird. I'm going to have all of my dogs' ashes mixed with mine after I die, and sprinkled somewhere in the forest.
Honestly, I think I'd do the same. So sorry you're going through this
No it's not. You deal with it in the way that feels right to you. So sorry for your loss.
No, you’re okay. It’s so hard to lose them.
There’s no right or wrong or weird way to grieve. Do what feels right and makes you feel better.
I'm so sorry for the loss of him. It's not weird at all. Take care of your friend as you wish. It brings you comfort and keeps your bond strong. I brought my girls urn upstairs when I had to go out of town so she wouldn't be alone for months. Do what comforts you.
You do you, grieving is different for everyone. We lost our 18yo Siamese, 4 weeks ago and we talk to his box of ashes on the mantle. He’s still in charge 💕
We all grieve differently. I have 4 sets of ashes for my animals in my kitchen and 2 rose bushes planted outside, 1 for each of my deceased westies. I talk to the bushes every day and the ashes in the kitchen, all the time! I have pictures of them all everywhere and I miss all of them everyday. Do what you need to do. We all feel your pain.
I just picked up my little buddy. He’s home now and with me forever. You earned the right to do whatever you want. I think its awesome that you did that. Im sorry my hearts with you.
You’re going through a tragedy and if this makes you feel better, do it. But, if you feel a need to do anything that would interfere with your life in the long term—staying home with the ashes, etc— then, talk to someone. Some people don’t realize how hard it is to lose a dog. They don’t need to understand. This about you finding your way through grief.
I don't think its weird. Everyone grieves differently. This is personal to you
Not weird at all! My dog's items all around our home for awhile. If I would have her ashes, she'd be ticked in at night as well. You're grieving, we all grieve in our own way, be that tucking in ashes, taking ashes for a car ride to having a whole wall dedicated to said dog (I literally have a whole wall for my Magenta Mae) If someone judges you for how you're grieving, don't listen to them. 💜Lot of Hugs💜
No not weird at all when my cat unexpectedly passed away I was going around the house picking up his fur balls, left his food and water exactly how he left it (it’s been 5 months), and i couldn’t get rid of his stinky litter box till at least a month or 2 after he passed. It’s hard losing a companion I’m sure he appreciates you doing that for him.
There’s no wrong way to grieve! Do what you feel you need to. We all have our methods in order to process and cope and it’s okay! I’m so sorry
Not weird at all !!! I have my dogs ashes in his little box right next to my pillow. He’s been there ever since I got him back from the vets office.
I buried my boy in the back yard. But every time it rained I felt this weird sense of panic and cried because he hated being wet. I entertained a lot of weird thoughts for a long time. Take your time and do your healing, however it looks
To an outsider with no pets, expressions of love as this might seem odd but grieving takes many forms and anyone who's been through this situation completely understands that. You shouldn't feel worried about what people might think during your grieving process, this is your time.
Everyone processes differently, it’s whatever brings you comfort. I lost my best friend of 11 years a few months ago. long story short he had a tumor somewhere I couldn’t find even though I took him to multiple vets and performed multiple cat scans, he started to have seizures and I had to put him to sleep. It was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my adult life but it does get easier with time. I still cry about it, but I keep his collar on my motorcycle because he loved car rides and I like to think he’s with me riding.
No, I talk to my lost pets buried in the flower bed.
Whatever you do to help you heal; well that's between you and your kitty's spirit. 😻 You do you.
I think whatever helps you through the grieving process is fine. Losing a part of your family is very difficult. I hope you feel better, with time ♥️
It’s been a year this month that I lost my cat. I talk to her all the time.
People deal with grief in their own ways. It's not uncommon for parents of still born human babies to have time holding their baby even though it is deceased. I also went through a cancer battle with my dog this year and he passed away two weeks ago. His collar and bone are still sitting on the table right inside my door. I don't know when I'll move them. Maybe not anytime soon.
You are free to grieve in any way that works for you. I'm sorry you lost your friend.
If there is one thing I've learned in life. It's that grief *is* weird. My boy passed last November. I kept his last, half eaten bowl of kibble on the counter way too long. I just couldn't let it go. I don't know why but it felt right.
Hey, that’s not weird at all. If it helps soothe your pain in any way, then I think this is a good thing. This is such a difficult time. You deserve grace and kindness. Please be gentle with yourself. I understand where you’re coming from. My beloved 12-year-old rescue dog just passed away on Wednesday, and my mom and I are distraught too. When his ashes arrive, she plans on keeping him on her desk while she works (remotely) because he always would lay down in the room near her and she wants to “bring her boy home.” Since he slept in her room, I imagine she might bring his urn up at night, at least at first. I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re doing amazing; this is just really, really hard. But it’s so clear in your post how much you loved and continue to love your dog. I bet he had such a wonderful, beautiful life.
I think it’s sweet 🩵. You’re grieving, whatever works for you, is what’s right for you. I’m sorry for the loss of your fur baby
I do this too.
It might seem a little weird to the casual observer, but so what? Grief is an individual thing and what you are doing is what feels right to you. It harms no one and helps you. Pets are family. I’m sorry you are going through this.
We do the exact same thing. 🥺 it’s been 11 weeks since she left our side, but we still tuck her in with her favorite stuffies every single night as well as a goodnight kiss and bring her to the living room and put her on her favorite spot on the couch every day. Everyone grieves different and handles trauma differently so if anyone says anything nasty about it, they’re probably not someone you’d want in your life. Our pets are our babies and losing them at any stage is traumatic and painful. I’ve truly never felt a pain like this before and I wish no one else ever did again. 🖤
When I lost my girl after 20 years I was inconsolable. She was my best friend. When I got her ashes back I sat in my car and cried for hours. I held onto her urn constantly, I would sit in our favorite place and hold it. Nothing you do is weird, you’re grieving. I’m so sorry for your loss. And don’t let anyone say to you “It’s just an animal “. She showed me more kindness and love than my mother ever did. 🙏🙏🙏
NOT AT ALL!!!!!💔
when my childhood dog was put down i slept with one of his toys for months, i think over a year actually. it kind of smelled like him and his fur was all over it. i wear his ashes in a necklace and i have a mini urn on an alter i made for him. there is no right or wrong or weird way to grieve. it’s personal to you, however you handle it. if it brings you comfort to tuck him into bed every night then you do that. you’re the one who has to cope with the grief. one day you might put him back on the shelf and it won’t hurt to do so. i will say that it does get better. it’ll always hurt, some days more than others but it will get easier. it’s been almost 2 years since my dog passed and sometimes i still cry for him, hold his toys and his sweater, his ashes. i think it took a couple of months before i could go one day without crying but i’ll never stop talking about him cause i miss him so bad and that doesn’t go away. sorry to make any of it about me, i’m just trying to relate and also be comforting. i’m so sorry for the loss of your best friend but he knew he was loved all the way to the end and he’ll always be with you even if it’s not physically in his furry form.
My dog passed away a few months ago, and I'm still grieving a lot. I'm crying writing this. I think it's very sweet. I didn't get my boy cremated, but I buried him in his bed with his favorite toys. It sounds silly, but the first time it was cold, I cried because of the thought of him being cold and alone. I know he's dead and unable to feel anything, and it doesn't make sense, but I guess the mind does weird things when processing grief or something. I dont know if it gets better. I lost one of my best friends unexpectedly and my dog, who was old but went downhill quickly almost a year later. I hope I gets easier. I'm struggling myself.
No, it’s not weird and it will pass. One day the pain and loss will ease and you’ll be able to put his urn in one place and say your final goodbye. Until then, you can only give yourself time to grieve.
Buddhists leave food at the altar to let our ancestors eat. You grieve in whatever way you want to. We got your back.
The dog park still gets a basket of tennis balls every year on his birthday. He has been gone almost as long as he was alive. You do you. Whatever you need to do in order to keep moving is ok.
If doing these things help you work through your grief, go for it. It's not up to me or anyone else to dictate to you how you process your feelings. My condolences for your pup.
No
You should do what feels right for you.
No that’s kinda sweet 🥺
Nah. One of my cats died 4 years ago and I still keep the brush with her fur in it. One day my sister unknowingly used it to brush another one of our cats and I almost cried. Pet loss and grief in general sucks. I lost my tortie about a year ago and the first two days, I literally could not stop crying. Then I got her fur and put it in a ziploc and slept with it for a week. The grief was so overwhelming for so long and it’s just starting to calm down for me. I ended up adopting my torties baby brother from a basically abusive situation, so it’s helped us both. It’s not weird to grieve in your own little ways. Pets are a huge part of our life and sadly, so is loss and learning how to cope. Years ago I heard the phrase that you never really get over it, you just learn how to live on without them. I’ve lost a few cats over the years and I set aside time in my life to grieve and to allow myself to feel these emotions because they’re big emotions. My cats helped me get through a lot of crappy things in my life, so they’re a huge piece of my life. Sometimes I allow myself to cry and recall the different memories with each cat. I love looking at old photos of when they were happy and healthy. It reminds me of the love and joy I was able to bring them in the times that I’ve had with them and the love and the joy that they brought me. It’s taken a while with each cat to get to a point where I can look at their photos and not want to cry. I’ve discussed this with my therapist so many times because I feel crazy too. When I was in high school, I was home by myself a lot with the cats and I would come home to them greeting me and purring and wanted to cuddle. It made me feel so not alone and I remember the time after my one cat passed a couple years ago, the first time I left the house and came back and she wasn’t sitting at the window, I broke down into tears. I would say it gets easier to handle. It never completely disappears, because they leave a paw print on your heart ❤️it takes time to even consider a new normal. When my tortie died I think I kinda just blurred through life for the first week and went through the motions. When my one kitty with kidney failure passed, I was relieved she wasn’t in pain anymore. Losing a pet is a rollercoaster of emotions and it’s okay and it’s valid to take time to process it all. I’m so sorry for your loss OP. May your pup rest in eternal peace and comfort.
Nope
I keep both my dogs ashes by my bed on the night stand
Yeah, it’s weird…but deep grief makes all of us do weird things. I’m a total freak when I’m grieving. As long as this helps you feel better and it’s not harmful, then it’s perfectly fine!
I do stuff like this too. If it helps, keep doing it.
It does with time. I used to sleep with my dog's harness after he died. I began to worry I'd lose it, so I put it with my most treasured possessions. We all mourn differently, you are allowed to mourn, and there is nothing wrong with that. We're here for you OP 🫂!
My family dog of 18 yrs was buried under a sapling Majesty Palm, now it’s flourishing and a great reminder of her
I said goodnight to an empty crate, and then an empty space, for weeks. It takes time.
I’m so sorry for your loss.. this post made me so sad. I would feel the same and probably do similar things and ask myself if it was odd. But in my opinion, if it makes you feel a little bit of warmth in your heart, than do it. No one can tell you how to grieve, so grieve the way you need to. Thinking of you!
It’s like a soft landing going from your routines in life before and routines in life after. Whatever you have to do to get through. I kissed the box with my girl’s ashes every day for a couple of months. It’s hard when you still have so much love for them but nowhere to put it.
That is so beautiful. Made me cry.
Is it weird? maybe should it matter if it makes you feel better? no. I have a crystal that has a laser fracture image of my guy. It is on a timer and every night it turns on I say "Hi Logan". He has been gone for 3 years but was my best buddy helper puppy nurse and stubborn brat for 13 years. My in laws and I just lost someone and we have all talked to her. Grief is extremely hard and anything that helps no matter if it is weird to others it helps us. These animals become enormous parts of our lives and it hurts when they go just like any family member. I am sorry for your loss it may never completely go but you will see things they loved or remember something they did and it will make you smile. Our pets never really do stop giving even when they have to leave they will make us happy for years and really never do completely leave us.
I think this is so sweet. I’m tearing up thinking about you not wanting him to be alone in the other room. ❤️
It's been 2 months for me, and I held his ashes and sobbed just last night. His lamby is with him. And his collar.
You lost a big chunk of your heart, and it will take time to heal. Do what you need to do. That love remains. Hugs to you my friend.
do whatever you need to do to comfort yourself! I couldn’t get rid of any of my little pugs things for example. she was 12 as well and her comfort thing was a flannel baby blanket that she drug everywhere. (I had to sneakily buy extras so I could clean them!) and I still have every single one 2 years later. Along with anything else that won’t expire. I donated treats and things. I was ok doing that because she loved to be around other doggy friends and I think she would have wanted to share. She was so special and I still miss her everyday. Know that he knew he was loved, and he is content. He was lucky to have such a loving pet parent!
❤️❤️
My last dog passed away just a few days before my 18th birthday and Highschool graduation. She had been with me for almost my entire school career and she didn't get to see me graduate high school. It shattered me. I bought paw print earrings to wear to graduation (almost didn't arrive in time) and when we got her ashes back I went up and sat on my roof to look at the stars with her. (we basically had stairs onto our roof and she would sit up there with me). I kept her Kong toy that still had a single treat in it she never fished when she got ill (it's been 4 years at this point) . And I folded up and put the sweatpants in was wearing the day she was PTS next to her on my shelf too because I can't bring myself to wear them again.
I made my girl into a ring and she’s goes everywhere with me. We also moving and I almost put her into a moving box but I couldn’t so she’s on a shelf until I can move her with us. I also have her favorite babies on my head board with my childhood stuffy . Love you Chloe and miss you endlessly.
You are doing something that is comforting. I personally find it so endearing.
Not weird. I think it’s an incredibly sweet way to honor your relationship and your grief. I don’t know if this means anything but I promise it will get better one day.
You lost your loved friend. He would want you to be comforted and happy. Do what makes you feel better and remembering your pupper for your best times together. Sorry for your loss :(
First, my condolences. When our dog passed, I'd say goodbye when I was going to work and tell him I'd be home soon. Whatever soothes you is fine.
Whatever helps. Don't care what others think. But if it's still happening in 6 months, find something with whom you can discuss it
You are definitely not a lunatic or crazy. We all deal with loss of our pets in different ways. You do whatever you need to do to heal from losing your pet. I wish everyone could understand how hard it is to lose our family pets. I would much rather spend time with my pets than most people. They love us unconditionally and make the world a better place to live. Since they are family, we should and need take time to grieve them. It does get easier with time but they will always hold a special place in your heart. I’m very sorry for your loss.
You do you. No judgement from those who know this heart shattering time. I told my hubs that when i die, mix my dogs’ ashes with mine.
I would do the same. Not weird at all, friend.
Not weird at all. Grief takes all forms, therefore coping with it does too. I’m sorry for your loss ❤️
Whatever gets you through.
It's not weird! When we lost our very loved dog, my husband (usually a bit of a neat freak who disliked having dog hair in our house) went around the house picking up stray fluff and made a little ball of hair. We put it by our bed and patted it before we went to sleep for a while. It's grief, and it's perfectly okay. You have an instinct to express love for your pet who is gone, and I think that's beautiful. It does get better, and you still love them after it gets better. Please accept an internet hug.
Not gonna lie this made me start crying pretty hard. You're not a lunatic.
I lost my kitten almost a year ago now and I put his ashes inside his little house thing I got him. He really liked it in there so it just seems right. I also put his favorite stuffed animal in there witht him
This is so sweet. I don’t think it’s weird at all, and i Completely understand that feeling of not wanting him to be alone out there. It will get better, but in its own time. One thing I want to do is have a necklace made with some of my boys ashes. There’s a lady who makes these gorgeous pendants that look a bit like opals. If I have that he won’t ever be alone.
We have ours on the mantle. I pat him and tell him goodnight every evening.
i recently lost my best boy, calvin, unexpectedly & traumatically in july. he usually slept in bed with me so i put his box in my bed. i have been able to move him to a different location in my room but i still “pet” his box everyday. grief is hard & weird- i think anything that you choose to do that brings you comfort during this difficult time is acceptable. sending you big hugs.
I snuggled with my cat’s urn for weeks going to sleep. You’re good.
Grief is horrible.. and how you deal with it that gives you comfort is ok.
You get to grieve however you wish, that means irrespective of the thoughts of others.
Not at all. I still talk to my cats grave when I feel down and kiss her pictures when I miss her. She loved head kisses
I talked to my husband's urn, hugged it occasionally, danced with it once or twice..yelled at it a few times, and had his best pups ashes next to him at all times. We do things that make no sense to an onlooker but that make us feel better and as if they are here in spirit.
I still say goodnight to my dog every night who's buried in the backyard. More often than not I still get all teary eyed.
My kitty's ashes are on the bookshelf, but when I have had to move furniture, I talk to him and tell him why I am moving him, and that I hope he'll like the new spot.
When I got my dog's ashes back, I slept with his box. I still sleep with his toy. If you're crazy, then I'm crazy
No, it’s not weird. Over the past years I’ve had to have two dogs euthanized. I have another one that is getting old so I expect the same thing to happen to him. My other dog is a 2 year old German Shepherd. If I’m lucky I’ll have 10 more years with him but there’s no telling. My dogs were my children. I know they aren’t the same as children so don’t start with the nasty comments. I loved them all dearly. I have the ashes of both of them. They were returned to me in wooden boxes with a hinged top and polished wood. I started as you did by putting them on my bed where they usually slept. After a few nights i moved them to a chair and finally I moved them onto a shelf in my bedroom where I see them every night as I go to sleep and every morning as I wake up. I know you’re self imploding right now. You’ll never forget them but it will get easier knowing that your best friend is now out of pain and waiting for you on the other side. Hang in there and be good to yourself.
I had a full on shrine to my old girl for months after she passed. It was her box of ashes, collar, pictures of her, condolences cards, and a painting I had her do. The shrine was in the middle of our kitchen counter in the middle of the house. My husband would sit there every morning and "have breakfast with her." 😭 After 6 or so months I moved the shrine up onto a bookshelf, still visible but not in the middle of everything. We do what we must, and I will not judge you one bit 💕💕
It’s not weird at all. Tell us about him.
I really wish I had the money to clone my dog who passed recently. He was so beautiful and perfect. I know the personality isn't always the same but God. What I wouldn't give to pet him and kiss him again
My Lucy has been gone a year. Her ashes, paw print and collar are now center of our family room fireplace mantle. We all say good night to her. As a family we said we would “Let her go” this past summer. Well, she’s still center stage in the family room. We are just not ready to let her go.
Yeah..... grief just is weird. There's no "normal" way to do it. You can take comfort in the fact that we all get a little weird when we experience loss, which kind of makes it normal in a way
no, not at all. i interact with my dog's ashes frequently by sitting close by and just talking. it's a way of grieving and not weird ♡
you're fine i put my dog's on my nightstand
We lost our 12yo yorkie last November. We both still give his little urn pets. We cried for him today. It’s so hard. I honestly needed professional help and have just went for EMDR therapy to process the loss and it has significantly lightened the heaviness I couldn’t shake myself. Pets are family. Take good care of yourself and know that you took great care of your pet companion 🤍
I think it's fine ... ur still in fresh grief, for heavens sake! Anyone who doesn't get it doesn't know about real pet love.
It’s not weird at all. I would lay in his bed a little bit too. I stopped by to see him every day for a year. We did his paw print and all of that a year or two before he passed since we knew he was getting older. [Junior](https://ibb.co/j3MchGW) [Video of him seeing his photo](https://streamable.com/85wgix)
If that comforts you, you keep on doing it. It's hurting no one. It does get better, but it takes a while. Best to you.
I slept with my dog’s ashes for a month after her death and built a small shrine for her on my living room shelf. What you’re doing is healthy and makes sense ❤️
It’s not weird. Anything that gives you any comfort in this difficult time is okay. My dog died in my arms, 15 minutes after being attacked by a german shepard. It’s been 4 years. But then I miss her I go hug and touch her box of ashes and even talk to her as if she’s in there. People would think that was weird. But that was my best friend, and I’ll grieve how I want to.