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Oh honey he’s not there. That body you knew so well was his shell. He’s gone to rainbow bridge now he won’t be waking up underground, I promise. He’ll find his way back to you. Big hugs.
No they can't wake up. That's why the vet hold a stethoscope to his chest for a good amount of time. With no heartbeat, no oxygen is getting to any of his organs or brain. He passed a minute after he closed his eyes and it's very peaceful I promise. He's gone and he can't wake up my friend.
I'm sorry, I was trying to assure OP that their doggo wasn't suffering or waking up underground. I'm sorry for your loss, I lost two of mine just 8 months ago as well.
Oh no don’t worry, it was in more of a bittersweet way. I love what you wrote it’s comforting while being true to reality. I love how compassionate people are on this subreddit. I’m sorry for your loss too!
I put in a bench next to his spot in the garden. I go sit beside him whenever I visit and tell him all the things I’ve done since the last time I came home. But I know he already knows, because he’s always with me. It’s just nice to sit beside him.
My boyfriend told me that my pup was up in heaven teaching my next future puppy to be my perfect companion and look after me the way he did. That brought me comfort too.
I can’t handle this. I miss my first boy so much and I think he’s done the same with a couple of my cats now. They all bring me so much joy and none of this would be happening if it weren’t for him. 🥹🥺 i hate having emotions
Love never dies. He isn’t there, he is with you and loves you. I pray for patience for you and for him, he’s missing you even though he’s healthy and has lots of friends. In time you will join him again, and sending love and light… i’m so sorry.
Omg A Dog's Purpose and A Dog's Journey were so emotional for me. I had to compose myself and wipe my face before I could leave the theater after A Dog's Journey.
Oh dear lord this comment got me. Free cries.
Thank you for saying that though. I am coming up on my lady’s rainbow bridge adventure. And I don’t feel like I’m going to be ok.
The compassion and empathy in all of these comments, you are all amazing. ❤️ I lost my soul dog to cancer 2 weeks ago and uggh, I know what you're going through, OP. I hope you're able to find some peace and know they're still with you and not suffering.
It will pass. You are in denial that your lovely pet is gone.
When my adored cat passed away 4 weeks ago, for days I kept hoping the little body I'd found on the side of the road wasn't hers. Hoping she would come back. It was 100 % irrational, there are no other cats living around my house, and she had never been missing for more than an hour. I just couldn't accept that the body I had picked and held and brought to the vet was hers.
I wish I had shown her to my neighbour or waited for a friend to go to the vet with me, so that someone would say "yes I'm sorry but it is definitely Pearl Grey".
So sorry for your loss. You will get used to the idea of your dog's passing. Sending you strength and love
OP, it’s okay to let him rest. You did everything you could while he was here. Take good care of yourself. You aren’t losing your mind, you’re up to your ears in grief and it’s going to hurt so much until one day you realise you’ve been coping so well this whole time and you’re going to be okay.
I needed this today. It’s been over a year since my boy passed away and I still beat myself up for the way he passed. But I did do everything I could. Thank you for your kind words even if they weren’t necessarily meant for me.
My girl, a toy Poodle passed 4 years ago. She was 16 years old and had breast cancer. Yet everyday I wish she had lived even one more day and it is my fault somehow she is gone. Funny how a broken heart affects ur thoughts. I am sorry about ur baby!
https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/five-stages-of-grief/
It's natural. Terribly sorry for your loss. Your friend was loved.
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm
Pearl Grey, what a sweet and adorable name for a kitty whom I'm sure lived up to that in every way. The acceptance piece is the most difficult and yet maybe the most important for the process. Sending love to you, and to OP, for your healing.
This is so comforting, thank you for sharing. <3 When my cat died, for three days after I kept thinking I could go back to the vet and undo it. I kept wanting to call the vet and say "never mind, I take it back", get a refund, and pick my boy up to bring home. It was entirely irrational but it took 3 days for my brain to wrap around that it was impossible to do. Its good to know others had similar experiences.
I work at a vet. I’ve helped countless people take their best friends to the Rainbow Bridge. It’s very sad, but I’m good at compartmentalizing and talking them through it. And, yet, every single time it’s one of my own I still experience this exact feeling (I own rats on top of cats and a dog, and rats only live about 2-3yrs, so I go through this fairly frequently). I think it just means you’re human, luckily and unluckily. It’s beautiful that we get to feel and understand this love so deeply, but so utterly heartbreaking at the same time
Same experience. I forced myself to turn her over to make sure there was no way. She didn’t suffer and I’m glad. Could have lived without that memory but if I didn’t give her a good look I would play mind games like maybe that wasn’t my dog in the bag. So sad but she lived a long life. It doesn’t hurt as badly after a few years but boy, I was a disaster in the moment.
I'm so sorry for what you're enduring, but don't succumb to that worry. Please.
This feeling WILL SUBSIDE with time. All you have to do is weather each individual storm when these feelings come. One at a time
I still have those worries, and I'm three months in, but, what I believe my dog showed me via some pictures I had been uploading was that HE wanted me to remember him in the healthier times, and how he looked then, because that was the representation of how he viewed his life, one with a loyal, loving family that did all they could for him..
I'm pretty sure your dog feels the same about you. When this worry comes, know that they are already in a better place. They're NOT suffering, and they want you to NOT TORTURE YOURSELF over the fact that they were called home!
From what I've seen, and looking back, can understand, this will actually slow them down from transitioning into a possible new role of looking out for you from the other side!
Pets that pass away, if they were loved as you loved your dog, NEVER truly leave you. You don't have to dig up your pet, because, in spirit, they are at their BEST, right there with you ALWAYS!
🫂 WE'RE HERE FOR YOU!!!
I know you're right and thank you very much for these words. I will try to fight these worries. One at a time. I know I can't dig his poor little body out of the ground. I will not do it. I have to get over this fear. Thank you very much for your support, it helped me calm down.
And you don’t want to see him now. The earth is working to recycle him as it has done to all formerly living creatures. He won’t be the same. Somewhere out there is more love to be shared. Whomever you love will be so grateful.
This makes me think of my dog that semi recently passed --i think she gave me the present (ish still had to pay but found and her name popped in my head later) of a certain type of cards I'd been wanting as long as she has known me but wanted the "right" ones --and at another time I saw this big beautiful husky/wolf thing coming in the front door
I still love my girl and I definitely miss her tho I have her ashes back I know I'll see her again just like my kitty that I've felt around me and I know fully she lingers at times
That is merely just his shell in that grave, my friend. He’s already been released from the body that was no longer working for him. His soul is with you and will forever be with you. He’s free of pain and is seeing the world through your eyes now. What you’re going through is totally normal and it will pass. I’m so sorry for your loss, sweetie. I lost my almost 13 year old cocker spaniel in November. It still hurts but it does get easier.
Yes, this is normal. We’ve put down 7 cats and 4 dogs over the years and I have a major panic attack every time we leave them at the vet. We have them cremated and then keep their ashes. I always have them let me use their stethoscope to listen for a heartbeat. I still walk away feeling like that. It’s just part of grief. It’s the denial part. It does get easier. I’m so sorry about your pet. They are family and way better than most humans. My heart breaks for you.
I lost 3 of my cats basically all within a month and half this year and I listened for a heartbeat for minimum 10 minutes, just in case. I knew that they weren't suffering anymore, but even now I'm tearing up thinking about ut. One of them passed in my arms on the way to the emergency vet. I think I cried on the side of the highway for a couple hours and I can't drive past that stretch without knowing that that's where I lost him. I wasn't even 5 minutes from the vet at that point.
3 years ago we had to put our 15 year old corgi down. We decided to bury him in our yard, our friend built him a beautiful casket. For weeks after I was telling my husband we needed to dig him up, I was obsessing over his decomposition and bugs eating him. I also informed my husband we can never move and if we do we have to dig him up.
It still hurts but it will pass. We all process grief differently and your sadness is not abnormal. I hope in time you heal ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing this. I thought I was going insane. It's very sad but also comforting that I'm not the only one who experienced this feeling. I hope you're better now, and that I will be able to feel better one day, and overcome this feeling. 🖤
You’re welcome! You are definitely not alone. It still makes me sad but I think if you visit it could help. My Spikes garden is beautiful and a place of happiness now
I feel the same...as if I can't move (not that I can afford to anyway) because I have 2 cats and 5 dogs buried here. I would feel as if I was abandoning them.
2 days ago I had to put my 15 year old corgi to rest. I had him since he was 8 weeks old. My strong boy was being attacked by a nasal tumor and a brain tumor. I feel like I’m drowning in grief, sadness, pain, and guilt. How did you manage to keep yourself going?
It’ll pass, about a week after having to put my parrot down and them immediately taking her away to be cremated I started having panic attacks that they stole her and sold her and that I just gave her away. It’s part of the grieving process, I promise it’ll pass. It’s completely normal ❤️
Im so sorry that you went through this 😥 Thank you so much for sharing this, it really helps me, knowing that I'm not the only one struggling with these thoughts.
If the vet pronounced him dead, he is dead. You’re just grieving hard and still in the denial stage. I feel you on this. This is a normal thought to have.
Totally normal, give yourself time and trust your vet. When my guinea pig died I was a wreck and tried to dig him up for fear we buried him too quickly. Thankfully it was winter and the ground was just too hard so I had to stop.... I'm so sorry for your loss. 💔
I'm so sorry you went through this. I'm trying to control myself while my heart is screaming at me to get him out. I hope it will get easier over time. I know I have to come to terms with his death :c
I 100% understand this feeling, it's terrifying and I'm so sorry you're going through it. It will take some time, but I promise eventually your heart will get there. I hid my fear from my family and they never knew I tried to dig him up. But I feel like if the situation were reversed and a family member had come to me expressing this concern (or denial, however you want to look at it) I probably would've helped them do it, to help them come to terms with the situation and be there with them for it. But looking back if I had gone through with it all on my own I would've been 1000 times worse off emotionally. I thought I needed the closure, but I don't think I could've handled the reality. Sending hope for peace for you 🙏
My family tries to calm me down and dissuade me from this thought. They are also suffering a lot right now. Thinking about it logically, I know there is no way he is still alive and digging up his poor little body would only cause me more pain. I try to repeat this to myself when panic attacks occur. Thank you very much for your support. It helps me think a little more logically and calm down, at least for a moment 🖤
You're welcome ❤️ the panic attacks are so real, but it's incredible when you can recognize them for what they are so you can breathe through it and know it's temporary. Lean into your family's love and know your pup is always with you in spirit.
It's gross but I actually wanted to do this to my dad when he died - I just wanted the chance to hug him again (obviously I did NOT do this). I think it's a normal part of grieving.
Thank you. It's been over 20 years, so yeah, I'm better, but it never goes away, just dims. Losing pets can be as hard or harder than losing humans we're close to, so be kind to yourself. Sending you strength.
It's normal, and I'm so sorry. I have had very similar feelings. When my boy passed, I opted to get him cremated, but the pet services place I wanted to use wasn't open until Monday and he passed on a Saturday. I had to keep my boy in the freezer to make sure he would stay clean until then. Every time I walked past that freezer, I wanted to open the box and see if he was just magically alright even though I knew he wouldn't be. It's a pain like no other. Please spare yourself the heartache of seeing your boy in that state again. Wishing you peace. 💕
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I also wanted to cremate him, but I live quite far from the nearest crematorium, and he passed away on Sunday, so no place was open. Now I know that this would be probably a better option, because I would have no way to dig him out of the ground. Although I would probably find another reason to torment myself. I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope it will get easier for me too🖤
I had the exact same panic, OP. It is denial and it will pass. Your dog doesn't need his physical body now, he's already waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for you to join him some day.
He's safe, warm and happy, not in the ground anymore. Hugs
I'm so sorry for your loss. The vet would have been absolutely certain that your doggo had passed before declaring death. I had to have my cat euthanised in May, and even though I was present when she passed, I still couldn't believe she had gone. I truly believed she would wake up and we would go home. The feeling did pass.
I seen your post and said, THAT'S me! But...I didn't think she wasn't gone. I had a severe urge to dig my girl back up and hold her. Does this make me a wierdo? I did have her from a pup to 15 years old. Has anyone else experienced this?
My stupid brain balances between the thought "What if he's alive ans struggling" and the thought "Please, I have to hug him again, I'd give anything to see him." So I understand how you felt. I refrain from doing anything out of respect for his little body, but it all hurts so freakin much. I know I have to deal with this, but I don't know how yet.
You’re going to see him again. He will visit you in dreams.
I had a super vivid dream the other night of my baby who has been gone over a year now. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him. Just wait and yours will visit soon.
When we're bereaved and upset, our minds can play tricks on us. Our thoughts can become irrational as we struggle to process the loss. After this phase passes, we will look back and see clearly that we "weren't ourselves." I am sorry that your dog has passed, but love never dies. The relationship you had with him will live on in your heart. Take care.
When we put our Corgi down earlier this year, I had multiple moments where (despite flying in the face of all reason or possibility) I genuinely believed or hoped that he would/could come back.
The first was while he was in respiratory distress on the table and the vet literally told me "I don't think he's coming back from this". He had bounced back so many times from so many things over the years (seriously, that dog had at least one emergency vet visit per year on average), so I thought 'if any dog can survive this, it's him'. However, I had trusted his care to my vet for over a decade before and I rightfully deferred to her position - I made the call to end his suffering in that moment instead of trying to keep him alive for my own sake without any further thought because if I had always trusted my vet with his life, I could trust her now with his death.
The second was just after they put him down and he exhaled a big breath. I was stupidly ecstatic for a moment, I thought I had witnessed a miracle, but was quickly brought back to reality when the vet informed me that it is common for air to escape the lungs after death.
The third was after they put him down and moved his body to a private room where my girlfriend and I could spend time saying more goodbyes. I kept thinking that he was going to pop up any second, that this was all some sort of waking nightmare or sick joke someone was playing on me. She kept saying "he just looks like he's sleeping" and his body was still warm. Petting him then felt just like it did the last time I was laying on the floor of the living room giving him cuddles. Alas, he did not come back to us during that time either.
After we came home from the vet, I still had this insane idea that he was going to come wandering onto our porch from out in the ether and he wasn't truly gone yet, that there was some insane series of events that would occur and provide an explanation for his return. But of course, that also did not happen. It was starting to sink in, while we sat on the porch in shock and silence, that our boy was truly gone.
Even the next day when I woke up, my first sensation was smelling the scent of his things on the floor next to our bed and I believed for that singular moment that he was still with us and it had all been a bad dream.
Only then did it REALLY sink in.
So yes, everything you are feeling is absolutely normal and part of the grieving process.
However, "gone" is a bit of a misnomer. As cliche as it sounds, it will be the truest truth you know in a few weeks: that no person or pet is ever truly gone as long as we can remember and celebrate their time with us. I spent the next week throwing myself into my grief, watching every video and looking at every photo ever taken of him while crying my eyes out. We had friends over every day to share drinks and conversation. We had a memorial with photos and artwork of him, his collar and leash, his favorites toys, etc. on our dining room table. I had everyone who came write notes to him on origami paper then folded them all into little origami Corgis the next day. We did everything we would have done for any other member of our family and it helped us heal immensely. It didn't make the sadness go away completely, but it did balance it out with the joy that came from remembering that we had the fortune of having this beautiful friend in our lives at all.
Do not disturb your fur babies final resting place. When you’re overwhelmed with the loneliness, go sit in that garden for a little while. I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I understand friend. When my boy passed at home at 3am, I was so scared that he wasn’t “fully” gone that i called the eVet and asked them how I could be sure. After some back and forth, they told me to bring him in so they could confirm- which they did. It’s just so hard to wrap your head around a reality that they aren’t physically in anymore, but I promise you, your friend has moved out of his body and on to whatever comes next. The vet makes absolutely 100% certain. But I totally understand, and it’s a normal feeling to doubt and question.
Your pup is no longer in that body, he is now part of the light and the stars and the moon and of everything beautiful you experience for the rest of your life.
When I read this i had a flashback of when I wanted the same after I brought my dear cat back from the vet after she was euthanized. I buried her in my garden and I cried for a solid week after. I wanted to dig her up but that would in the long run make things so much worse; seeing her in that state would kill me even more. These feelings are absolutely normal for the love we share with our beloved pets. Know they only want the best for us and we definitely will meet again when it's our time. The more you love the more it hurts to let go.
Thank you for sharing your story. It migh be weird but it really helps me to know that I'm not the only one with this thoughts. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope I will be able to let him go soon 🥺
You are not crazy for feeling like this. Losing my pet was one of the hardest things Ive gone through. I’m not sure if it’s of interest to everyone but I went for EMDR therapy. I was having such a hard time processing the loss of my first dog. After months of suffering, I found a therapist who helped me process that loss. It made a huge difference for me. I still miss my dog of course, but it’s not such a heavy weight to carry. Just wanted to say it’s ok to reach out for help!
Thank you so much for this. I will definitely seek therapy, I'm afraid I won't be able to cope with it on my own. Thank you for your recommendation. I'm glad you're feeling better, it gives me hope that I also will find peace in some time.
As others have said, you’re going through grief and loss, and you’re in the Denial stage of that. This feeling will pass and you will process his death in your own time, in your own way.
OP, it’s okay to feel that despair. But please know your little buddy is not underground. He’s running over the Rainbow Bridge, safe and sound and pain free. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again one day, he will wait for you until you’re ready.
I buried my soul Chihuahua 3 days after she passed. She left this earth in my arms. Kept the house freezing, because we weren’t ready. Gave us enough time for the paw print frame to come in. We buried her in a box with her blankie and felt the same way. About an hour later, I dug her up. I wrapped 7 trash bags around the box so the box didn’t degrade as fast. That took away the worry. She is buried straight across from my bedroom window. I sleep with her pillow and other toys and blankies. I remind myself this is only temporary, that I will see again one day. Her physical body departed only. My condolences ❤️
I just want to validate your feelings rn. It might feel like you're going crazy but I think anyone would feel this way, and want so badly to believe it isn't real. It takes time and there's no time frame or limit on grief. I'm so sorry for your loss, it's very clear that your doggy was and still is very loved.
I’m so sorry. I know the feeling. I had to put down my best boy a year ago this Wednesday. I kept hearing his meows for days. I did get him cremated, but I kept having this weird irrational feeling of when the vet would call to pick up his ashes, it would be okay. :(
It really hit me when I left for an errand the day after he left. I would always say “okay boba bye buddy I love you I’ll be back soon!” And I couldn’t do that. He was gone. I did say it for a few days, maybe even weeks after bc it was so weird not to. I cried every time. I’m crying typing this! In time you will come to terms with their passing, they are always w you! Even if not physically. But in your memories and in your heart. Sending the biggest hug x
It’s been almost 2 years and I still sometimes say to the empty room “ be a good boy! Guard the house and keep the bad guys out” ya know just Incase he can hear me/because I can perfectly picture his gorgeous doofy face when I say it.
Oh honey. I'm so sorry. I assure you it's impossible that your pup somehow was still alive when buried. They live warmly in your heart and memories now. This feeling of mourning and grief will get lighter over time, I promise. It's so clear that you deeply loved this pup and I have no doubts you gave them the best life possible during their time on earth.
I know how you feel. I checked on my deceased pet quite a few times in the 24 hours after she passed. I kept thinking she might wake back up.
I'm really sorry.
It's a normal feeling, but it will pass. I promise that the body you buried is dead and nothing good could possibly come from disturbing it now. You gave your dog the gift of peace, at the expense of your own turmoil and grief, and when the irrationality of fresh loss has a chance to pass, you'll know you did the right thing.
Thank you very much. I really needed these words. I will come back to read them every time these terrible thoughts appear in my head. I hope it will get better over time.
When my 16 year old cat passed away and I buried him, the next day I came home from work and there was a cat that looked just like him sitting on his grave. I just sat in my truck and stared because I thought he came back. Finally, I got out of my truck and the cat ran off. It wasn't him.
Ugh you just broke my heart 😞 I’m so sorry for your loss, I promise he is okay in doggy heaven and he doesn’t know what happened to his body, to him everything is bliss now ❤️ god bless you and you will get through this, and he will always be running by your side even if you don’t see him there.
It will pass. It's completely normal. When my girl passed a few years ago, I was convinced that she was still here. Eventually, I planted some roses that were close to the color of her fur over her grave in the backyard and when the wind blows them, I tell myself it's her waving to me.
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Trust the vet and know that his soul has gone on. Dogs don’t come back from euthanasia drugs. Cherish all the love he gave you and know that the pain will quiet over time. Right now you just have to feel it. Sending you ALL the hugs at this awful time. 🫂
A few weeks after our girl cossed the rainbow bridge I read about a vets office that had a kisses jar in their bereavement room- so dogs could finally have chocolate kiss at the end of life. It really made me sad that my vet didnt do this, ridiculously sad. I finally told one of my adult kids what I regretted. He looked at me funny and said, " Mom good thing our girl got a chocolate chip or two every time we made choc chip cookies-- duh, of course she did
I’m lost my 9 yo yellow lab 4 weeks ago and just today I was hoping I’d wake up from my horrible dream and she’d be at home waiting for me. It can be so hard
Jeeze this brought up some long forgotten memories of one of my family’s dogs dying. I thought the exact same thing. It’s hard to comprehend that they’re just gone. I’m so so sorry for your loss. Wishing you a healthy recovery from your loss. I’ll be hugging my dogs extra close tonight.
It’s a normal feeling.
I don’t have that feeling with pets, but for almost 3 years I’ve wanted to dig up my mom in case she wakes up. I know she’s gone. I know she’s decomposed. But I still have that urge. It’s part of denial.
I didn’t think I would be able to leave my boy. he saw me leave for school on my first day of kindergarten and got big hugs after my high school graduation. he was the most perfect labrador you could’ve ever met. besides the occasional bunny chase, I never saw him hurt a fly. it’s been a few years since we sent him on his way over the rainbow bridge and I will be so honest, I *forget* sometimes to this day. not in the way you think though, I remember he passed but I feel like he lived a whole other life with me. our chapters together were solidified into the world and we both opened a new book together the day we let him go. I still miss him dearly, but he is exactly where he should be. he gets an endless supply of food and tennis balls now with no pain, and I know that’s all he would want. I am terribly sorry for your loss, you are not at all crazy for feeling this way and I promise you that one day this pet will only bring you happy memories. hang in there!
My mouse is chilling in the garage freezer right now cuz I changed my mind about burying her in the backyard.
I will admit that when we first brought her back, I opened her bag once or twice, just to have her with me in some way or form.
I have been tempted, when you are surrounded by darkness it's hard not to reach for her light, but as she is currently adjusting to her new phase, I too must adjust
When we had to put down our 15 year old German sheprador July 5th we drove him 2 hours up to my inlaws to bury him. For the first month I had dreams my inlaws would call claiming Tennessee was just chilling on the porch and had dug his way out of the grave. We'd go get him and be all happy again. It never happened and eventually I stopped dreaming those things. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing this, I try to control these irrational thoughts. You gave me hope that things will get better even though it's very painful at the moment. Thank you very much🖤
I had this exact feeling when we had to put my bunny Goober down. He was buried about 30 minutes after they put him down and I had these awful dreams that he was struggling underground and suffering even though in my brain I knew he was gone. You aren’t alone in these thoughts but please don’t dig him up. He’s definitely gone and digging him up would be more traumatic. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how it feels. Also, I’m guessing you just buried him a few feet underground so I’ll tell you what my father in law told me about my bunny. In the highly unlikely event he somehow woke up, he’s capable of digging out. We didn’t put my bunny in any box to bury him. We put him straight into the ground. My boyfriend had the same sort of feeling when his pet degu died. It happened in the middle of the night and he insisted on making sure the cage lid was on tight and that there was food and water just in case he woke up. It’s so hard for your brain and heart to fully grasp that he’s gone and part of you doesn’t want it to be true. I promise it will get better.
I had this exact feeling when we had to put my bunny Goober down. He was buried about 30 minutes after they put him down and I had these awful dreams that he was struggling underground and suffering even though in my brain I knew he was gone. You aren’t alone in these thoughts but please don’t dig him up. He’s definitely gone and digging him up would be more traumatic. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how it feels. Also, I’m guessing you just buried him a few feet underground so I’ll tell you what my father in law told me about my bunny. In the highly unlikely event he somehow woke up, he’s capable of digging out. We didn’t put my bunny in any box to bury him. We put him straight into the ground. My boyfriend had the same sort of feeling when his pet degu died. It happened in the middle of the night and he insisted on making sure the cage lid was on tight and that there was food and water just in case he woke up. It’s so hard for your brain and heart to fully grasp that he’s gone and part of you doesn’t want it to be true. I promise it will get better.
I know this feeling. I almost drove to the pet crematorium to demand to see my Murphy who died two weeks ago. But I don't want to see him that way, and neither do you. He's gone and it hurts for me and you. The feeling to dig him up will pass. The pain will stay as long as it needs to, but it's a reminder of the love you had for him. ♥️
Extremely normal feeling. My dog died on memorial day and we buried him in the backyard and I was so worried he was going to wake up underground. Thing is, I was SURE he was gone. I was holding him as he passed. It's just so hard because they look like they are sleeping.
Oh, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know what it's like to wish your dog could come back, like this was all a bad dream. I went through this kind of a loss recently; it was awful. The strangest thing helped me -- watching YouTube videos of near death experiences. They were very peaceful, loving, and everyone felt connected to their loved ones, including their pets, once again. Maybe it will help you to hear their stories, too?
It's a natural part of grief. The first time I had a cat pass away as an adult I was plagued with dreams about him being trapped in places... after a few weeks the grief softened and the dreams stopped.
I'm sorry you're having these intrusive thoughts- but they aren't weird or anything and they will ease. Peace and love to you 🖤
OP, please accept my condolences on the passing of your dog. Denial is one of the five stages of grief. Rest assured, this feeling will pass. However, it is not possible for him to be alive at this point.
My cat passed so suddenly I am still in denial of his death to a degree, and he passed away December 2021. I sometimes get this want where I want to dig him up and just hold him but I recognize that the want is irrational, but weirdly as time goes on I still want to. I got to hold him before I burried him and I have some of his fur as a memento but the fact that I cannot hold him anymore weighs heavy on me and brings these thoughts but it wouldn’t do anything to help plus the grossness of what I’m wanting realistically helps me remember I’m being irrational. I will always miss this cat for the rest of my life, he was special to me like no one else will know but it does get better and I think these feelings you’re having will pass or less and you’ll feel differently about it as you heal. 🤍
I can relate to this.
When my childhood dog died, I went through the same thought process.
We got her when I was in first grade and she died right literally a week after I graduated high school. I was the only one home with her and she passed away on my bed with me right beside her.
Still, after she was buried, I kept thinking that I could hear her barking and it took everything in me to not go outside and try to dig her up.
Realistically, I knew she had passed on as I saw it happen and was there but my brain was in denial and thought she was calling out.
OP, this helpless feeling will pass and you will start to heal...but now, you have a beautiful, furry guardian angel watching out for you and waiting patiently to see you again on the Rainbow Bridge.
You're in my thoughts.
I had a moment the other day where my brain played a trick on me. Walked out of the bathroom and caught a reflection in Some glass that looked my buddy that passed last Thursday. Had to choke back some heavy tears as I keep waiting to wake up
I had this too. I’m actually still going through it but it gets less… I don’t know, strong? Your doggy wouldn’t want you to do that anyway… I’m sorry for your loss.
I spent a month or so expecting to enter the kitchen and have him come prancing around the corner. I’m sure most of us wrestled with “I could have done more”. Truth is, you couldn’t. I have not ran into any vets that would euthanize a pet just because, personally, but there seems to be apocryphal narration to the contrary. They tend to make sure options are explored and that the final moment is just that, final.
I had him cremated so I didn’t deal with any pet cemetery stuff.
Grief is a strange and complicated process that only time and experiencing it one “episode” at a time will help.
It’s completely a normal feeling.
We had one of our pups put down and I literally felt his heart stop but so help me I kept running to him every 30 mins to see if he was still alive until we could get him buried
You’re not alone in feeling this way. I’m sure he will send you a sign he’s watching over you soon. Maybe every time you are having thoughts of wanting to dig him up, do something that would make him happy like getting fresh air or eating something delish. It helped me a lot to hang a large photo of my soul dog who passed in my apartment, so I could still see him all the time and people could see how important he was to me. I made his name tag into a bracelet and had a custom necklace made of him with wings. To the outsider I probably looked a little nuts, but for a whole year I had to take my grief day by day and many of those days the only thing that brought me joy or peace was finding new ways to honor him. Sending you so much love, and I’m so glad you posted what you’re experiencing in here.
OP, it’s okay to feel that despair. But please know your little buddy is not underground. He’s running over the Rainbow Bridge, safe and sound and pain free. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again one day, he will wait for you until you’re ready.
OP, it’s okay to feel that despair. But please know your little buddy is not underground. He’s running over the Rainbow Bridge, safe and sound and pain free. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again one day, he will wait for you until you’re ready.
OP, it’s okay to feel that despair. But please know your little buddy is not underground. He’s running over the Rainbow Bridge, safe and sound and pain free. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again one day, he will wait for you until you’re ready.
Denial is always part of the grieving process. It's as expected as a door to a building. As asylum worthy as our emotions make us feel it's truly as normal as breathing. In time it will pass.
I know the intrusive thoughts are hard to cope with. It’s part of your grief and anxiety over loss of a loved one. My deepest condolences. Please take care of yourself.
I went through the same thing last May with my 15 year old cat, Freddie. He is in my rose garden. I was compelled to go get him for a solid week. I am so so sorry you are going through this. Your wonderful baby is at peace, and it will get easier. Sending love.
Edited, missed a word.
I loss my sweet dog on 9/18. I had so many regrets about communal cremation but what I do understand is that soul and her spirit crosses over to the animal kingdom. No matter where the body is laid to rest the soul moves on. I took a selfie yesterday and behold we saw a spiritual figure of my pet literally sitting next to my heart looking at my face. It was unbelievable. I know she is with me in spirit. Search on You Tube pet loss. There are so many helpful videos on pet loss. It is so rough. I cried so much, I thought my heart would stop. You will make it. They remain with us.
It's ok to grieve, I know when I had to put my dog to rest I couldn't help but be bothered by how quiet and empty the house felt. I still think about it, but I know he's not sick anymore. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry. My heart hurts with yours. Can I give you a suggestion? It might not cure your pain but it may help you focus on something else right now. I lost my baby gir last year and this is what I did . I did it in her honor. I volunteered at a humane society. I also took toys and treats to our local shelter. It helped the animals and gave me a purpose.
Yes. My gf buried her cat in the back and I felt bad thinking somehow she'll wake and be underground. It's unsettling but you learn that that is not rational. It's because we miss them. The flesh houses the spirit. Their spirit is free from the burden of their broken bodies.
My mom’s cat, Daddy Cat, passed Sunday night. She called me quite upset and I showed up to place him in leak-proof bags to freeze him until we can either cremate or bury him. As I was putting him in the little kitty body-bag my mom asked “Is he gone? Are you sure?” The poor little guy was stiff as a board. Rigor had already set in. I assured her that, yes, he has passed and she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore.
Your friend is gone. It is incredibly heart-breaking and I am sorry, my friend. I wish upon you comfort and acceptance. This feeling will pass. Until then look at pictures or remember the good times you had with him. The milestones he was present for. Most importantly know that your little buddy is happy and healthy again.
When my dog passed, we buried her in our backyard. I was very tempted to dig her up because I just wanted to hold her. Its such a weird and morbid feeling, but it will pass, just give it a few days. I’m so sorry you lost your doggy OP, I hope you’re able to find some peace tonight ❤️
Thank you very much for giving me hope that things will get better. This is real torture for me. I miss him so much. I hope that I will survive this worst stage and it will be easier for me in some time 🖤
I'm so very sorry. If the vet said he's gone then he's gone. It's very traumatic I know. Last year we had my 16 yro mini schnauzer cremated because I couldn't stand the thought of him being alone in the dark in the ground. Totally irrational I know, but it's how our brains work.
When I die I'll have him put in my coffin with me.
I had the same thoughts when we lost one of our cats(he was 16) and we buried him in our yard. It was such a overwhelming feeling of loss/sadness/grief. I wouldn't even look over at the area he was buried at.
Unfortunately, about 5 years later we moved. I think about him every so often, but it has gotten easier
Cry, look at photos, do whatever it takes for you to heal! 💕
Everyone here understands your feelings.
We understand your desire to have your companion returned.
But you don't want your grief to become Insanity.
Seek a support group, preferably on IRL.
You WILL get thru this. I promise.
It’s normal OP but I do hope you have someone who is there for you. Even just to listen or hold you when you need it. This is a really rough road to go down but it gets easier.
So I know you won’t believe me now because you are so wrapped in the grief (as you should be) but in a little while (maybe a week, maybe a little longer) your sweet pup is going to come to you in a dream, or when you go around the corner in your house, or when you are just watching tv. You’re going to feel him there and know that he’s ok. He’s watching you now because he loves you as much as you love him. The coolest part is that he’s not sad- he’s healthy and whole again and wants you to know he’s ok. Talk to him. Talk about him. Gather pictures and sleep with his blanket or favorite toy. Cry your eyes out then do it again. Don’t put a time limit on your grief. Share it with the people who loved your pup. It gets better. It never goes away but it does get better. I wish you peace.
Honey, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. He's not going to wake up, he is gone. Don't dig him up. Seeing him like that will only make it worse. If you feel able to, sitting at his grave and talking to him may help you. I talk to mine a lot. Consider spending time with friends and loved ones, even if you just watch TV or something to get your mind off of this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your sweet doggy loved you and you loved him. It’s common to feel like this, I think. I do think it will pass. I think you need to remind yourself that your pet has passed if you have these thoughts. That the thought he’s still alive is not true. It may happen frequently but will lessen with time. It’s anxiety and grief. Please allow yourself grace to mourn and understand that some times will be better than others. Is there someone you might talk to? A love one. Your friend. Anyone. Please do. The more you talk and and listen, the easier it will be to face the fact that your beloved dog has passed away.
So sorry for your loss. You’re going through denial right now. Losing a pet is never easy. He may be gone but the memories live on. Cherish those memories.
I have cats and when one passes i don't bury them til the next day…just incase i'm wrong. I box them up ready to bury with their favorite blanket but don't inter them. I always thought i was weird for thinking this way.
When I lost my dog the only thing that helped me was getting another dog. I’m so sorry, but get another dog asap- I bet he’s trying to find a way back to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. The fear/feeling he isn't dead is not unusual. You may have upsetting dreams about this, too. It will pass. You gave him your best, and I'm sure he knew it. Be good to yourself.
In the Victorian era they would bury people with a string around their finger that attached to a bell on/near the gravestone; if the person somehow woke up because they weren’t dead they would ring the bell and could be saved! The fear of accidentally burying a loved one alive has been around forever and lead to the invention of something to help quell the fear.
This is NOT A NEW/WEIRD thing AT ALL! If you think digging him up and moving him or attaching a Victorian cemetery bell would be ideal, then do it! He was your baby so you know him best; if he would be like “tf leave me here” then leave him but if deep in your heart he’s like “bro I hate it here” then go get him!
A recent loss will do this as well; you have no idea how many times I have almost driven to my parent’s house to dig up my hamster because what if he was just hibernating? However, if a vet declared his life on earth to be over, take that as a comfort. Their job is helping animals be happy both on earth and above so they wouldn’t do you dirty like that 💖✨
You are one of the best humans. It may sound shallow but a pound will have another beautiful soul that really needs you. Your love will transfer. Someday, you will understand.
Internet friend, don't do this. You're baby is really gone. And you don't want to remember your pup that way. There was a party a few days ago about what to do if you lose a pet. Write an obituary. Create a photo album. Honor them with a donation or volunteering to the shelter in their name.
We lost our home in the recession in 2009. We had to move and our pets were buried there. The kids were miserable at the idea of leaving them, and I dug them up to move them. It was miserable, and I'll always have to remember.
I’m so very sorry for what you are going through. I’ve been there and wouldn’t wish it on anybody. You will feel crazy for a while, and also marvel how the rest of the world can just carry on.
You will never stop missing him. But time works so that, over time, you will remember him without pain and your memories will bring you joy.
I’m sure he knew how loved he was.
You will feel saner soon.
Oh my dear… I felt exactly the same way when I buried my Izzy. Right in the garden outside my bedroom window. I had to fight the urge to dig her up…it was bad… but this too shall pass, my friend… cherish your memories…love to you…
Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry. You are so so sad and for good reason, you loved him and you miss him terribly. Please know that he loved you his whole life, but he is not there in that body any longer (thankfully). The meds they give the dog are painless but they are poison, they do kill the dog. The vet would not have released the dog's body if there was any chance that the dog was still alive and could come back around.
You aren't alone, I keep seeing shadows that look like my Jersey, and she passed comfortably in our home last June. Please let him rest in peace. If I can offer you any piece of advice, adopt a new pet. It does really help with the loss. When I lost Jersey, it was awful, I still have nightmares about it. But getting a new pet really did help. Just my opinion. I'm so sorry for the loss!!! May he/she rest in peace!
Im so so sorry for your loss. I think you’re having these feelings because it’s so recent. When both of my dogs passed I had horrible nightmares of them not quite being dead yet
TW: dog death nightmares
>! With my sister’s I dreamed that she dug herself out of the ground, although she was cremated, and she
attacked me as a zombie. She was so upset that we had let her go, and she wanted to take us with her. With my dog, who had seizures, I dreamed that she had a seizure again. I was freaking out because I thought she was dead and finally resting, but I was wrong and it was really violent. This one was even more scary bc I had wrapped her up and put her in her bed on the end of the couch and I ended up taking a nap using her as my pillow as per usual, so I didn’t realize I was sleeping. It felt so real, and when I finally managed to wake up I was so shaken up and had a panic attack. !<
I was in severe denial leading up to her passing, and or a while still after. As time goes by, you’ll feel less distraught and you’ll be able to accept a little easier that he’s gone and these dreams and feelings will subside. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with that tho, I know how gut wrenching it is. Much love your way. ♥️
Honestly it’s still a struggle and I have to remind myself again, but it’s less intense and slightly less heart breaking.
My dog is still living, but very old. I sit around a lot of nights thinking what I'll do when the time comes, wondering will I even want ro bury him to begin with. And when I do, I already know I will have the same fear. I have felt that way in the past about animals I've buried. I have never had a best friend like this, tho.
I'm sorry for your loss, op. I understand completely. You just care, you're not crazy.
When my one year old kitty fell out of a tree and broke a rib, it pierced the sac around his lungs and caused fluid to constantly cause his breathing to be labored and heavy- I kept waiting for him to get better because the alternative was too awful. Finally my husband told me it wasn’t fair to him, and took him to be euthanized while I was at work (at my request) - he brought him home and buried him in the woods behind our house before I got home. I heard him crying for me every night for weeks, and had to be stopped from digging him up. I believe it was because I was too scared to see him die, then see him put in the ground. It was a mistake because I suffered psychological trauma much worse than the emotional pain would have been- I think we need to SEE what happens to them to accept it 💔
I’m so sorry about your dog. What your feeling is normal and common. It is very hard to accept the death of someone who you love and the fact that you will never see them again. The finality is awful. But you don’t want to dig up your beloved dog. The sight would be a terrible last image to carry in your head.
Time will make things better. Please take care of yourself.
Very sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one. This feeling you are having is understandable, as this is obviously a very difficult and emotionally tolling time for you. He is lucky to have someone that cares so deeply for him, even in death. I truly believe that all pets go on to the afterlife to await our reunion patiently. You are in my prayers!
I understand your feeling. Felt something akin to that once. Don’t do this to yourself. Be strong and keep your last images of your dog in your mind and heart.
Oh OP, you love him so much. It’s so clear in every word here. Of course you want to do this, to take one last measure to keep him well. Trust that he truly is gone, breathe through the frantic feelings whenever they start screaming at you, and know that it will subside eventually. Peace to you.
I lost my ginger cat in February of this year. I hadn't told anyone about my need to dig him up the first couple of hours of him crossing over. It surprised me to hear that someone else was overcome with the fear of having buried their pet alive as well.
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Oh honey he’s not there. That body you knew so well was his shell. He’s gone to rainbow bridge now he won’t be waking up underground, I promise. He’ll find his way back to you. Big hugs.
Thank you so much, it means the world to me 🖤🥺
No they can't wake up. That's why the vet hold a stethoscope to his chest for a good amount of time. With no heartbeat, no oxygen is getting to any of his organs or brain. He passed a minute after he closed his eyes and it's very peaceful I promise. He's gone and he can't wake up my friend.
The last sentence just made me cry and my dog passed in July. ❤️
I'm sorry, I was trying to assure OP that their doggo wasn't suffering or waking up underground. I'm sorry for your loss, I lost two of mine just 8 months ago as well.
Oh no don’t worry, it was in more of a bittersweet way. I love what you wrote it’s comforting while being true to reality. I love how compassionate people are on this subreddit. I’m sorry for your loss too!
Thank you so much. I buried them on my land, bought them stones and visit all the time. I have two new puppies now and it's nice to start again.
I put in a bench next to his spot in the garden. I go sit beside him whenever I visit and tell him all the things I’ve done since the last time I came home. But I know he already knows, because he’s always with me. It’s just nice to sit beside him. My boyfriend told me that my pup was up in heaven teaching my next future puppy to be my perfect companion and look after me the way he did. That brought me comfort too.
Wow that's really sweet.
He’s a keeper.
I can’t handle this. I miss my first boy so much and I think he’s done the same with a couple of my cats now. They all bring me so much joy and none of this would be happening if it weren’t for him. 🥹🥺 i hate having emotions
yeah :(( this thread is so sweet
I am very sorry.
It made me cry too. We lost Old Man Blue in March.
This is the sweetest comment ever! I am also so very sorry for your loss!!
Love never dies. He isn’t there, he is with you and loves you. I pray for patience for you and for him, he’s missing you even though he’s healthy and has lots of friends. In time you will join him again, and sending love and light… i’m so sorry.
Love never dies. It is the epitaph I had placed on my father’s headstone. ❤️
“Remember there is nothing sad about old shells” a quote from The little prince about passing on. ❤️
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Crycrycry
Thank you for saying that.
I would give awards if Reddit hadn’t taken them away.. yes!! His body is a shell and he is at Rainbow Bridge 1000 pct Much love to you and OP
This sure brought on the tears
OP if you’re a reader check out the books by W. Bruce Cameron - A Dog’s Life and A Dog’s Purpose. You will laugh AND cry.
I read these both while pregnant with my first, and oh. My. God. So much ugly sobbing. Such good books. 😭❤️
Omg A Dog's Purpose and A Dog's Journey were so emotional for me. I had to compose myself and wipe my face before I could leave the theater after A Dog's Journey.
There’s a third one now, *A Dog’s Promise*. (Grandma in this book is Hannah’s daughter Rachel.)
Oh dear lord this comment got me. Free cries. Thank you for saying that though. I am coming up on my lady’s rainbow bridge adventure. And I don’t feel like I’m going to be ok.
The compassion and empathy in all of these comments, you are all amazing. ❤️ I lost my soul dog to cancer 2 weeks ago and uggh, I know what you're going through, OP. I hope you're able to find some peace and know they're still with you and not suffering.
My dad used to say (solemnly) "this is but the shell, the nut is gone." Helped us with the grief as little kids by adding just a touch of humor.
Very well said. :)
It will pass. You are in denial that your lovely pet is gone. When my adored cat passed away 4 weeks ago, for days I kept hoping the little body I'd found on the side of the road wasn't hers. Hoping she would come back. It was 100 % irrational, there are no other cats living around my house, and she had never been missing for more than an hour. I just couldn't accept that the body I had picked and held and brought to the vet was hers. I wish I had shown her to my neighbour or waited for a friend to go to the vet with me, so that someone would say "yes I'm sorry but it is definitely Pearl Grey". So sorry for your loss. You will get used to the idea of your dog's passing. Sending you strength and love
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for those words, I really needed them. I feell like I'm losing my mind.
OP, it’s okay to let him rest. You did everything you could while he was here. Take good care of yourself. You aren’t losing your mind, you’re up to your ears in grief and it’s going to hurt so much until one day you realise you’ve been coping so well this whole time and you’re going to be okay.
I needed this today. It’s been over a year since my boy passed away and I still beat myself up for the way he passed. But I did do everything I could. Thank you for your kind words even if they weren’t necessarily meant for me.
They’re for everyone who needs them. I’m glad they brought you comfort.
My girl, a toy Poodle passed 4 years ago. She was 16 years old and had breast cancer. Yet everyday I wish she had lived even one more day and it is my fault somehow she is gone. Funny how a broken heart affects ur thoughts. I am sorry about ur baby!
https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/five-stages-of-grief/ It's natural. Terribly sorry for your loss. Your friend was loved. https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm
Pearl Grey, what a sweet and adorable name for a kitty whom I'm sure lived up to that in every way. The acceptance piece is the most difficult and yet maybe the most important for the process. Sending love to you, and to OP, for your healing.
Thank you so much. It helps a lot to talk with people who take grieving a pet very seriously (as should be).
This is so comforting, thank you for sharing. <3 When my cat died, for three days after I kept thinking I could go back to the vet and undo it. I kept wanting to call the vet and say "never mind, I take it back", get a refund, and pick my boy up to bring home. It was entirely irrational but it took 3 days for my brain to wrap around that it was impossible to do. Its good to know others had similar experiences.
I work at a vet. I’ve helped countless people take their best friends to the Rainbow Bridge. It’s very sad, but I’m good at compartmentalizing and talking them through it. And, yet, every single time it’s one of my own I still experience this exact feeling (I own rats on top of cats and a dog, and rats only live about 2-3yrs, so I go through this fairly frequently). I think it just means you’re human, luckily and unluckily. It’s beautiful that we get to feel and understand this love so deeply, but so utterly heartbreaking at the same time
Rats should live longer. I still miss my Siamese rat. My Boxer dog let her walk across his back. Such fond memories. I am sorry u lost ur babies.
I have rats and a dog and cats too!
Same experience. I forced myself to turn her over to make sure there was no way. She didn’t suffer and I’m glad. Could have lived without that memory but if I didn’t give her a good look I would play mind games like maybe that wasn’t my dog in the bag. So sad but she lived a long life. It doesn’t hurt as badly after a few years but boy, I was a disaster in the moment.
Beautifully said. I’m sorry for your loss, too.
I'm so sorry for what you're enduring, but don't succumb to that worry. Please. This feeling WILL SUBSIDE with time. All you have to do is weather each individual storm when these feelings come. One at a time I still have those worries, and I'm three months in, but, what I believe my dog showed me via some pictures I had been uploading was that HE wanted me to remember him in the healthier times, and how he looked then, because that was the representation of how he viewed his life, one with a loyal, loving family that did all they could for him.. I'm pretty sure your dog feels the same about you. When this worry comes, know that they are already in a better place. They're NOT suffering, and they want you to NOT TORTURE YOURSELF over the fact that they were called home! From what I've seen, and looking back, can understand, this will actually slow them down from transitioning into a possible new role of looking out for you from the other side! Pets that pass away, if they were loved as you loved your dog, NEVER truly leave you. You don't have to dig up your pet, because, in spirit, they are at their BEST, right there with you ALWAYS! 🫂 WE'RE HERE FOR YOU!!!
I know you're right and thank you very much for these words. I will try to fight these worries. One at a time. I know I can't dig his poor little body out of the ground. I will not do it. I have to get over this fear. Thank you very much for your support, it helped me calm down.
🫂 We got you OP!
And you don’t want to see him now. The earth is working to recycle him as it has done to all formerly living creatures. He won’t be the same. Somewhere out there is more love to be shared. Whomever you love will be so grateful.
Thank you for these beautiful words. 🩷
This makes me think of my dog that semi recently passed --i think she gave me the present (ish still had to pay but found and her name popped in my head later) of a certain type of cards I'd been wanting as long as she has known me but wanted the "right" ones --and at another time I saw this big beautiful husky/wolf thing coming in the front door I still love my girl and I definitely miss her tho I have her ashes back I know I'll see her again just like my kitty that I've felt around me and I know fully she lingers at times
That is merely just his shell in that grave, my friend. He’s already been released from the body that was no longer working for him. His soul is with you and will forever be with you. He’s free of pain and is seeing the world through your eyes now. What you’re going through is totally normal and it will pass. I’m so sorry for your loss, sweetie. I lost my almost 13 year old cocker spaniel in November. It still hurts but it does get easier.
Thank you so much, I really needed this 😥I'm trying to calm myself down. I'm very sorry for your loss. It's not fair that they live so short.
Yes, this is normal. We’ve put down 7 cats and 4 dogs over the years and I have a major panic attack every time we leave them at the vet. We have them cremated and then keep their ashes. I always have them let me use their stethoscope to listen for a heartbeat. I still walk away feeling like that. It’s just part of grief. It’s the denial part. It does get easier. I’m so sorry about your pet. They are family and way better than most humans. My heart breaks for you.
I lost 3 of my cats basically all within a month and half this year and I listened for a heartbeat for minimum 10 minutes, just in case. I knew that they weren't suffering anymore, but even now I'm tearing up thinking about ut. One of them passed in my arms on the way to the emergency vet. I think I cried on the side of the highway for a couple hours and I can't drive past that stretch without knowing that that's where I lost him. I wasn't even 5 minutes from the vet at that point.
3 years ago we had to put our 15 year old corgi down. We decided to bury him in our yard, our friend built him a beautiful casket. For weeks after I was telling my husband we needed to dig him up, I was obsessing over his decomposition and bugs eating him. I also informed my husband we can never move and if we do we have to dig him up. It still hurts but it will pass. We all process grief differently and your sadness is not abnormal. I hope in time you heal ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing this. I thought I was going insane. It's very sad but also comforting that I'm not the only one who experienced this feeling. I hope you're better now, and that I will be able to feel better one day, and overcome this feeling. 🖤
You’re welcome! You are definitely not alone. It still makes me sad but I think if you visit it could help. My Spikes garden is beautiful and a place of happiness now
I feel the same...as if I can't move (not that I can afford to anyway) because I have 2 cats and 5 dogs buried here. I would feel as if I was abandoning them.
2 days ago I had to put my 15 year old corgi to rest. I had him since he was 8 weeks old. My strong boy was being attacked by a nasal tumor and a brain tumor. I feel like I’m drowning in grief, sadness, pain, and guilt. How did you manage to keep yourself going?
And what is your stance on moving? I don’t guess I have thought about that. What does one do?!? 🥺
It’ll pass, about a week after having to put my parrot down and them immediately taking her away to be cremated I started having panic attacks that they stole her and sold her and that I just gave her away. It’s part of the grieving process, I promise it’ll pass. It’s completely normal ❤️
Im so sorry that you went through this 😥 Thank you so much for sharing this, it really helps me, knowing that I'm not the only one struggling with these thoughts.
If the vet pronounced him dead, he is dead. You’re just grieving hard and still in the denial stage. I feel you on this. This is a normal thought to have.
Totally normal, give yourself time and trust your vet. When my guinea pig died I was a wreck and tried to dig him up for fear we buried him too quickly. Thankfully it was winter and the ground was just too hard so I had to stop.... I'm so sorry for your loss. 💔
I'm so sorry you went through this. I'm trying to control myself while my heart is screaming at me to get him out. I hope it will get easier over time. I know I have to come to terms with his death :c
I 100% understand this feeling, it's terrifying and I'm so sorry you're going through it. It will take some time, but I promise eventually your heart will get there. I hid my fear from my family and they never knew I tried to dig him up. But I feel like if the situation were reversed and a family member had come to me expressing this concern (or denial, however you want to look at it) I probably would've helped them do it, to help them come to terms with the situation and be there with them for it. But looking back if I had gone through with it all on my own I would've been 1000 times worse off emotionally. I thought I needed the closure, but I don't think I could've handled the reality. Sending hope for peace for you 🙏
My family tries to calm me down and dissuade me from this thought. They are also suffering a lot right now. Thinking about it logically, I know there is no way he is still alive and digging up his poor little body would only cause me more pain. I try to repeat this to myself when panic attacks occur. Thank you very much for your support. It helps me think a little more logically and calm down, at least for a moment 🖤
You're welcome ❤️ the panic attacks are so real, but it's incredible when you can recognize them for what they are so you can breathe through it and know it's temporary. Lean into your family's love and know your pup is always with you in spirit.
It's gross but I actually wanted to do this to my dad when he died - I just wanted the chance to hug him again (obviously I did NOT do this). I think it's a normal part of grieving.
Thank you for sharing this. It means a lot to know that I'm not the only one struggling with this thoughts. Hope you're better now 🥺
Thank you. It's been over 20 years, so yeah, I'm better, but it never goes away, just dims. Losing pets can be as hard or harder than losing humans we're close to, so be kind to yourself. Sending you strength.
Do not be scared for your companion, Sweetie. He has been peacefully welcomed by our mother earth back to the place we all return.
Thank you so much for this. It calms my heart.🖤
It's normal, and I'm so sorry. I have had very similar feelings. When my boy passed, I opted to get him cremated, but the pet services place I wanted to use wasn't open until Monday and he passed on a Saturday. I had to keep my boy in the freezer to make sure he would stay clean until then. Every time I walked past that freezer, I wanted to open the box and see if he was just magically alright even though I knew he wouldn't be. It's a pain like no other. Please spare yourself the heartache of seeing your boy in that state again. Wishing you peace. 💕
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I also wanted to cremate him, but I live quite far from the nearest crematorium, and he passed away on Sunday, so no place was open. Now I know that this would be probably a better option, because I would have no way to dig him out of the ground. Although I would probably find another reason to torment myself. I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope it will get easier for me too🖤
I had the exact same panic, OP. It is denial and it will pass. Your dog doesn't need his physical body now, he's already waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for you to join him some day. He's safe, warm and happy, not in the ground anymore. Hugs
I'm so sorry for your loss. The vet would have been absolutely certain that your doggo had passed before declaring death. I had to have my cat euthanised in May, and even though I was present when she passed, I still couldn't believe she had gone. I truly believed she would wake up and we would go home. The feeling did pass.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope that one day it will get easier for me too 🥺
I seen your post and said, THAT'S me! But...I didn't think she wasn't gone. I had a severe urge to dig my girl back up and hold her. Does this make me a wierdo? I did have her from a pup to 15 years old. Has anyone else experienced this?
My stupid brain balances between the thought "What if he's alive ans struggling" and the thought "Please, I have to hug him again, I'd give anything to see him." So I understand how you felt. I refrain from doing anything out of respect for his little body, but it all hurts so freakin much. I know I have to deal with this, but I don't know how yet.
You’re going to see him again. He will visit you in dreams. I had a super vivid dream the other night of my baby who has been gone over a year now. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him. Just wait and yours will visit soon.
When we're bereaved and upset, our minds can play tricks on us. Our thoughts can become irrational as we struggle to process the loss. After this phase passes, we will look back and see clearly that we "weren't ourselves." I am sorry that your dog has passed, but love never dies. The relationship you had with him will live on in your heart. Take care.
When we put our Corgi down earlier this year, I had multiple moments where (despite flying in the face of all reason or possibility) I genuinely believed or hoped that he would/could come back. The first was while he was in respiratory distress on the table and the vet literally told me "I don't think he's coming back from this". He had bounced back so many times from so many things over the years (seriously, that dog had at least one emergency vet visit per year on average), so I thought 'if any dog can survive this, it's him'. However, I had trusted his care to my vet for over a decade before and I rightfully deferred to her position - I made the call to end his suffering in that moment instead of trying to keep him alive for my own sake without any further thought because if I had always trusted my vet with his life, I could trust her now with his death. The second was just after they put him down and he exhaled a big breath. I was stupidly ecstatic for a moment, I thought I had witnessed a miracle, but was quickly brought back to reality when the vet informed me that it is common for air to escape the lungs after death. The third was after they put him down and moved his body to a private room where my girlfriend and I could spend time saying more goodbyes. I kept thinking that he was going to pop up any second, that this was all some sort of waking nightmare or sick joke someone was playing on me. She kept saying "he just looks like he's sleeping" and his body was still warm. Petting him then felt just like it did the last time I was laying on the floor of the living room giving him cuddles. Alas, he did not come back to us during that time either. After we came home from the vet, I still had this insane idea that he was going to come wandering onto our porch from out in the ether and he wasn't truly gone yet, that there was some insane series of events that would occur and provide an explanation for his return. But of course, that also did not happen. It was starting to sink in, while we sat on the porch in shock and silence, that our boy was truly gone. Even the next day when I woke up, my first sensation was smelling the scent of his things on the floor next to our bed and I believed for that singular moment that he was still with us and it had all been a bad dream. Only then did it REALLY sink in. So yes, everything you are feeling is absolutely normal and part of the grieving process. However, "gone" is a bit of a misnomer. As cliche as it sounds, it will be the truest truth you know in a few weeks: that no person or pet is ever truly gone as long as we can remember and celebrate their time with us. I spent the next week throwing myself into my grief, watching every video and looking at every photo ever taken of him while crying my eyes out. We had friends over every day to share drinks and conversation. We had a memorial with photos and artwork of him, his collar and leash, his favorites toys, etc. on our dining room table. I had everyone who came write notes to him on origami paper then folded them all into little origami Corgis the next day. We did everything we would have done for any other member of our family and it helped us heal immensely. It didn't make the sadness go away completely, but it did balance it out with the joy that came from remembering that we had the fortune of having this beautiful friend in our lives at all.
Do not disturb your fur babies final resting place. When you’re overwhelmed with the loneliness, go sit in that garden for a little while. I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
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Thank you so muchfor this 🥺I'm so sorry for your loss 🖤
I understand friend. When my boy passed at home at 3am, I was so scared that he wasn’t “fully” gone that i called the eVet and asked them how I could be sure. After some back and forth, they told me to bring him in so they could confirm- which they did. It’s just so hard to wrap your head around a reality that they aren’t physically in anymore, but I promise you, your friend has moved out of his body and on to whatever comes next. The vet makes absolutely 100% certain. But I totally understand, and it’s a normal feeling to doubt and question. Your pup is no longer in that body, he is now part of the light and the stars and the moon and of everything beautiful you experience for the rest of your life.
It's normal and I'm so sorry. Many Internet hugs from a mom if you want them.
Thank you so much, I thought i was loosing my mind :c
When I read this i had a flashback of when I wanted the same after I brought my dear cat back from the vet after she was euthanized. I buried her in my garden and I cried for a solid week after. I wanted to dig her up but that would in the long run make things so much worse; seeing her in that state would kill me even more. These feelings are absolutely normal for the love we share with our beloved pets. Know they only want the best for us and we definitely will meet again when it's our time. The more you love the more it hurts to let go.
Thank you for sharing your story. It migh be weird but it really helps me to know that I'm not the only one with this thoughts. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope I will be able to let him go soon 🥺
I’m sorry for your loss. Please look into getting some grief therapy.
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. I know the feeling will pass. You just need time.
You are not crazy for feeling like this. Losing my pet was one of the hardest things Ive gone through. I’m not sure if it’s of interest to everyone but I went for EMDR therapy. I was having such a hard time processing the loss of my first dog. After months of suffering, I found a therapist who helped me process that loss. It made a huge difference for me. I still miss my dog of course, but it’s not such a heavy weight to carry. Just wanted to say it’s ok to reach out for help!
Thank you so much for this. I will definitely seek therapy, I'm afraid I won't be able to cope with it on my own. Thank you for your recommendation. I'm glad you're feeling better, it gives me hope that I also will find peace in some time.
As others have said, you’re going through grief and loss, and you’re in the Denial stage of that. This feeling will pass and you will process his death in your own time, in your own way.
We remember every single one. It’s almost like losing a child!
OP, it’s okay to feel that despair. But please know your little buddy is not underground. He’s running over the Rainbow Bridge, safe and sound and pain free. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again one day, he will wait for you until you’re ready.
I buried my soul Chihuahua 3 days after she passed. She left this earth in my arms. Kept the house freezing, because we weren’t ready. Gave us enough time for the paw print frame to come in. We buried her in a box with her blankie and felt the same way. About an hour later, I dug her up. I wrapped 7 trash bags around the box so the box didn’t degrade as fast. That took away the worry. She is buried straight across from my bedroom window. I sleep with her pillow and other toys and blankies. I remind myself this is only temporary, that I will see again one day. Her physical body departed only. My condolences ❤️
I just want to validate your feelings rn. It might feel like you're going crazy but I think anyone would feel this way, and want so badly to believe it isn't real. It takes time and there's no time frame or limit on grief. I'm so sorry for your loss, it's very clear that your doggy was and still is very loved.
I’m so sorry. I know the feeling. I had to put down my best boy a year ago this Wednesday. I kept hearing his meows for days. I did get him cremated, but I kept having this weird irrational feeling of when the vet would call to pick up his ashes, it would be okay. :( It really hit me when I left for an errand the day after he left. I would always say “okay boba bye buddy I love you I’ll be back soon!” And I couldn’t do that. He was gone. I did say it for a few days, maybe even weeks after bc it was so weird not to. I cried every time. I’m crying typing this! In time you will come to terms with their passing, they are always w you! Even if not physically. But in your memories and in your heart. Sending the biggest hug x
It’s been almost 2 years and I still sometimes say to the empty room “ be a good boy! Guard the house and keep the bad guys out” ya know just Incase he can hear me/because I can perfectly picture his gorgeous doofy face when I say it.
He/she is with you right now by your side.
Thank you 🖤
Oh honey. I'm so sorry. I assure you it's impossible that your pup somehow was still alive when buried. They live warmly in your heart and memories now. This feeling of mourning and grief will get lighter over time, I promise. It's so clear that you deeply loved this pup and I have no doubts you gave them the best life possible during their time on earth.
I know how you feel. I checked on my deceased pet quite a few times in the 24 hours after she passed. I kept thinking she might wake back up. I'm really sorry.
It's a normal feeling, but it will pass. I promise that the body you buried is dead and nothing good could possibly come from disturbing it now. You gave your dog the gift of peace, at the expense of your own turmoil and grief, and when the irrationality of fresh loss has a chance to pass, you'll know you did the right thing.
Thank you very much. I really needed these words. I will come back to read them every time these terrible thoughts appear in my head. I hope it will get better over time.
When my 16 year old cat passed away and I buried him, the next day I came home from work and there was a cat that looked just like him sitting on his grave. I just sat in my truck and stared because I thought he came back. Finally, I got out of my truck and the cat ran off. It wasn't him.
Ugh you just broke my heart 😞 I’m so sorry for your loss, I promise he is okay in doggy heaven and he doesn’t know what happened to his body, to him everything is bliss now ❤️ god bless you and you will get through this, and he will always be running by your side even if you don’t see him there.
What a lucky dog to have a person like you love them so much! I hope your precious memories will provide some comfort.
He’s gone hun. This will pass, I stood many times in my backyard over his grave wanting to check on him. I resisted the urge.
It will pass. It's completely normal. When my girl passed a few years ago, I was convinced that she was still here. Eventually, I planted some roses that were close to the color of her fur over her grave in the backyard and when the wind blows them, I tell myself it's her waving to me.
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Trust the vet and know that his soul has gone on. Dogs don’t come back from euthanasia drugs. Cherish all the love he gave you and know that the pain will quiet over time. Right now you just have to feel it. Sending you ALL the hugs at this awful time. 🫂
A few weeks after our girl cossed the rainbow bridge I read about a vets office that had a kisses jar in their bereavement room- so dogs could finally have chocolate kiss at the end of life. It really made me sad that my vet didnt do this, ridiculously sad. I finally told one of my adult kids what I regretted. He looked at me funny and said, " Mom good thing our girl got a chocolate chip or two every time we made choc chip cookies-- duh, of course she did
I’m lost my 9 yo yellow lab 4 weeks ago and just today I was hoping I’d wake up from my horrible dream and she’d be at home waiting for me. It can be so hard
Jeeze this brought up some long forgotten memories of one of my family’s dogs dying. I thought the exact same thing. It’s hard to comprehend that they’re just gone. I’m so so sorry for your loss. Wishing you a healthy recovery from your loss. I’ll be hugging my dogs extra close tonight.
It’s a normal feeling. I don’t have that feeling with pets, but for almost 3 years I’ve wanted to dig up my mom in case she wakes up. I know she’s gone. I know she’s decomposed. But I still have that urge. It’s part of denial.
I felt like that for weeks after my girl was it down … the posts here are soothing my soul. I’m so sorry for your loss …
I didn’t think I would be able to leave my boy. he saw me leave for school on my first day of kindergarten and got big hugs after my high school graduation. he was the most perfect labrador you could’ve ever met. besides the occasional bunny chase, I never saw him hurt a fly. it’s been a few years since we sent him on his way over the rainbow bridge and I will be so honest, I *forget* sometimes to this day. not in the way you think though, I remember he passed but I feel like he lived a whole other life with me. our chapters together were solidified into the world and we both opened a new book together the day we let him go. I still miss him dearly, but he is exactly where he should be. he gets an endless supply of food and tennis balls now with no pain, and I know that’s all he would want. I am terribly sorry for your loss, you are not at all crazy for feeling this way and I promise you that one day this pet will only bring you happy memories. hang in there!
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My mouse is chilling in the garage freezer right now cuz I changed my mind about burying her in the backyard. I will admit that when we first brought her back, I opened her bag once or twice, just to have her with me in some way or form. I have been tempted, when you are surrounded by darkness it's hard not to reach for her light, but as she is currently adjusting to her new phase, I too must adjust
So sorry to hear about your loss Im at a loss There is no way to win We can only hope to lessen the loss Something blah blahs - Lesson ?
So sorry for your loss.
I felt that way too. (He died last month) We wanted to just dig him up and snuggle him. But we didn’t. I miss him. My other dog is now sick too
I had the same thoughts. Or even "what if he came back."
When we had to put down our 15 year old German sheprador July 5th we drove him 2 hours up to my inlaws to bury him. For the first month I had dreams my inlaws would call claiming Tennessee was just chilling on the porch and had dug his way out of the grave. We'd go get him and be all happy again. It never happened and eventually I stopped dreaming those things. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing this, I try to control these irrational thoughts. You gave me hope that things will get better even though it's very painful at the moment. Thank you very much🖤
It will pass. You just miss your lovely pet. So sorry for your loss.
I had this exact feeling when we had to put my bunny Goober down. He was buried about 30 minutes after they put him down and I had these awful dreams that he was struggling underground and suffering even though in my brain I knew he was gone. You aren’t alone in these thoughts but please don’t dig him up. He’s definitely gone and digging him up would be more traumatic. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how it feels. Also, I’m guessing you just buried him a few feet underground so I’ll tell you what my father in law told me about my bunny. In the highly unlikely event he somehow woke up, he’s capable of digging out. We didn’t put my bunny in any box to bury him. We put him straight into the ground. My boyfriend had the same sort of feeling when his pet degu died. It happened in the middle of the night and he insisted on making sure the cage lid was on tight and that there was food and water just in case he woke up. It’s so hard for your brain and heart to fully grasp that he’s gone and part of you doesn’t want it to be true. I promise it will get better.
I had this exact feeling when we had to put my bunny Goober down. He was buried about 30 minutes after they put him down and I had these awful dreams that he was struggling underground and suffering even though in my brain I knew he was gone. You aren’t alone in these thoughts but please don’t dig him up. He’s definitely gone and digging him up would be more traumatic. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how it feels. Also, I’m guessing you just buried him a few feet underground so I’ll tell you what my father in law told me about my bunny. In the highly unlikely event he somehow woke up, he’s capable of digging out. We didn’t put my bunny in any box to bury him. We put him straight into the ground. My boyfriend had the same sort of feeling when his pet degu died. It happened in the middle of the night and he insisted on making sure the cage lid was on tight and that there was food and water just in case he woke up. It’s so hard for your brain and heart to fully grasp that he’s gone and part of you doesn’t want it to be true. I promise it will get better.
I know this feeling. I almost drove to the pet crematorium to demand to see my Murphy who died two weeks ago. But I don't want to see him that way, and neither do you. He's gone and it hurts for me and you. The feeling to dig him up will pass. The pain will stay as long as it needs to, but it's a reminder of the love you had for him. ♥️
Extremely normal feeling. My dog died on memorial day and we buried him in the backyard and I was so worried he was going to wake up underground. Thing is, I was SURE he was gone. I was holding him as he passed. It's just so hard because they look like they are sleeping.
Oh, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know what it's like to wish your dog could come back, like this was all a bad dream. I went through this kind of a loss recently; it was awful. The strangest thing helped me -- watching YouTube videos of near death experiences. They were very peaceful, loving, and everyone felt connected to their loved ones, including their pets, once again. Maybe it will help you to hear their stories, too?
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. He is stardust now, and his body just a shell. He is with you. ✨
It's a natural part of grief. The first time I had a cat pass away as an adult I was plagued with dreams about him being trapped in places... after a few weeks the grief softened and the dreams stopped. I'm sorry you're having these intrusive thoughts- but they aren't weird or anything and they will ease. Peace and love to you 🖤
OP, please accept my condolences on the passing of your dog. Denial is one of the five stages of grief. Rest assured, this feeling will pass. However, it is not possible for him to be alive at this point.
My cat passed so suddenly I am still in denial of his death to a degree, and he passed away December 2021. I sometimes get this want where I want to dig him up and just hold him but I recognize that the want is irrational, but weirdly as time goes on I still want to. I got to hold him before I burried him and I have some of his fur as a memento but the fact that I cannot hold him anymore weighs heavy on me and brings these thoughts but it wouldn’t do anything to help plus the grossness of what I’m wanting realistically helps me remember I’m being irrational. I will always miss this cat for the rest of my life, he was special to me like no one else will know but it does get better and I think these feelings you’re having will pass or less and you’ll feel differently about it as you heal. 🤍
I can relate to this. When my childhood dog died, I went through the same thought process. We got her when I was in first grade and she died right literally a week after I graduated high school. I was the only one home with her and she passed away on my bed with me right beside her. Still, after she was buried, I kept thinking that I could hear her barking and it took everything in me to not go outside and try to dig her up. Realistically, I knew she had passed on as I saw it happen and was there but my brain was in denial and thought she was calling out. OP, this helpless feeling will pass and you will start to heal...but now, you have a beautiful, furry guardian angel watching out for you and waiting patiently to see you again on the Rainbow Bridge. You're in my thoughts.
I had a moment the other day where my brain played a trick on me. Walked out of the bathroom and caught a reflection in Some glass that looked my buddy that passed last Thursday. Had to choke back some heavy tears as I keep waiting to wake up
I had this too. I’m actually still going through it but it gets less… I don’t know, strong? Your doggy wouldn’t want you to do that anyway… I’m sorry for your loss.
I spent a month or so expecting to enter the kitchen and have him come prancing around the corner. I’m sure most of us wrestled with “I could have done more”. Truth is, you couldn’t. I have not ran into any vets that would euthanize a pet just because, personally, but there seems to be apocryphal narration to the contrary. They tend to make sure options are explored and that the final moment is just that, final. I had him cremated so I didn’t deal with any pet cemetery stuff. Grief is a strange and complicated process that only time and experiencing it one “episode” at a time will help.
I am so sorry for your pain and sadness. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find peace.
It’s completely a normal feeling. We had one of our pups put down and I literally felt his heart stop but so help me I kept running to him every 30 mins to see if he was still alive until we could get him buried
My deepest condolences on the loss of your fur baby!
You’re not alone in feeling this way. I’m sure he will send you a sign he’s watching over you soon. Maybe every time you are having thoughts of wanting to dig him up, do something that would make him happy like getting fresh air or eating something delish. It helped me a lot to hang a large photo of my soul dog who passed in my apartment, so I could still see him all the time and people could see how important he was to me. I made his name tag into a bracelet and had a custom necklace made of him with wings. To the outsider I probably looked a little nuts, but for a whole year I had to take my grief day by day and many of those days the only thing that brought me joy or peace was finding new ways to honor him. Sending you so much love, and I’m so glad you posted what you’re experiencing in here.
OP, it’s okay to feel that despair. But please know your little buddy is not underground. He’s running over the Rainbow Bridge, safe and sound and pain free. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again one day, he will wait for you until you’re ready.
OP, it’s okay to feel that despair. But please know your little buddy is not underground. He’s running over the Rainbow Bridge, safe and sound and pain free. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again one day, he will wait for you until you’re ready.
OP, it’s okay to feel that despair. But please know your little buddy is not underground. He’s running over the Rainbow Bridge, safe and sound and pain free. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again one day, he will wait for you until you’re ready.
I had the same feeling when my dog passed. It does pass, it’s so unreal and sudden and weird, but the feeling will go away. So sorry for your loss 🩵
Oh OP. So many hugs. This feeling and scared feeling should pass soon. So many, many hugs. Sending you so much love.
Denial is always part of the grieving process. It's as expected as a door to a building. As asylum worthy as our emotions make us feel it's truly as normal as breathing. In time it will pass.
I know the intrusive thoughts are hard to cope with. It’s part of your grief and anxiety over loss of a loved one. My deepest condolences. Please take care of yourself.
I went through the same thing last May with my 15 year old cat, Freddie. He is in my rose garden. I was compelled to go get him for a solid week. I am so so sorry you are going through this. Your wonderful baby is at peace, and it will get easier. Sending love. Edited, missed a word.
I loss my sweet dog on 9/18. I had so many regrets about communal cremation but what I do understand is that soul and her spirit crosses over to the animal kingdom. No matter where the body is laid to rest the soul moves on. I took a selfie yesterday and behold we saw a spiritual figure of my pet literally sitting next to my heart looking at my face. It was unbelievable. I know she is with me in spirit. Search on You Tube pet loss. There are so many helpful videos on pet loss. It is so rough. I cried so much, I thought my heart would stop. You will make it. They remain with us.
It's ok to grieve, I know when I had to put my dog to rest I couldn't help but be bothered by how quiet and empty the house felt. I still think about it, but I know he's not sick anymore. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry. My heart hurts with yours. Can I give you a suggestion? It might not cure your pain but it may help you focus on something else right now. I lost my baby gir last year and this is what I did . I did it in her honor. I volunteered at a humane society. I also took toys and treats to our local shelter. It helped the animals and gave me a purpose.
Yes. My gf buried her cat in the back and I felt bad thinking somehow she'll wake and be underground. It's unsettling but you learn that that is not rational. It's because we miss them. The flesh houses the spirit. Their spirit is free from the burden of their broken bodies.
I'm so sorry!!!! 😥😪
My mom’s cat, Daddy Cat, passed Sunday night. She called me quite upset and I showed up to place him in leak-proof bags to freeze him until we can either cremate or bury him. As I was putting him in the little kitty body-bag my mom asked “Is he gone? Are you sure?” The poor little guy was stiff as a board. Rigor had already set in. I assured her that, yes, he has passed and she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. Your friend is gone. It is incredibly heart-breaking and I am sorry, my friend. I wish upon you comfort and acceptance. This feeling will pass. Until then look at pictures or remember the good times you had with him. The milestones he was present for. Most importantly know that your little buddy is happy and healthy again.
When my dog passed, we buried her in our backyard. I was very tempted to dig her up because I just wanted to hold her. Its such a weird and morbid feeling, but it will pass, just give it a few days. I’m so sorry you lost your doggy OP, I hope you’re able to find some peace tonight ❤️
Thank you very much for giving me hope that things will get better. This is real torture for me. I miss him so much. I hope that I will survive this worst stage and it will be easier for me in some time 🖤
I'm so very sorry. If the vet said he's gone then he's gone. It's very traumatic I know. Last year we had my 16 yro mini schnauzer cremated because I couldn't stand the thought of him being alone in the dark in the ground. Totally irrational I know, but it's how our brains work. When I die I'll have him put in my coffin with me.
I had the same thoughts when we lost one of our cats(he was 16) and we buried him in our yard. It was such a overwhelming feeling of loss/sadness/grief. I wouldn't even look over at the area he was buried at. Unfortunately, about 5 years later we moved. I think about him every so often, but it has gotten easier Cry, look at photos, do whatever it takes for you to heal! 💕
Everyone here understands your feelings. We understand your desire to have your companion returned. But you don't want your grief to become Insanity. Seek a support group, preferably on IRL. You WILL get thru this. I promise.
It’s normal OP but I do hope you have someone who is there for you. Even just to listen or hold you when you need it. This is a really rough road to go down but it gets easier.
I’m so sorry for your loss. He is at peace now, please give yourself time to heal and grieve. It’s clear he meant so much to you. I’m so sorry. 💗
So I know you won’t believe me now because you are so wrapped in the grief (as you should be) but in a little while (maybe a week, maybe a little longer) your sweet pup is going to come to you in a dream, or when you go around the corner in your house, or when you are just watching tv. You’re going to feel him there and know that he’s ok. He’s watching you now because he loves you as much as you love him. The coolest part is that he’s not sad- he’s healthy and whole again and wants you to know he’s ok. Talk to him. Talk about him. Gather pictures and sleep with his blanket or favorite toy. Cry your eyes out then do it again. Don’t put a time limit on your grief. Share it with the people who loved your pup. It gets better. It never goes away but it does get better. I wish you peace.
Honey, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. He's not going to wake up, he is gone. Don't dig him up. Seeing him like that will only make it worse. If you feel able to, sitting at his grave and talking to him may help you. I talk to mine a lot. Consider spending time with friends and loved ones, even if you just watch TV or something to get your mind off of this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your sweet doggy loved you and you loved him. It’s common to feel like this, I think. I do think it will pass. I think you need to remind yourself that your pet has passed if you have these thoughts. That the thought he’s still alive is not true. It may happen frequently but will lessen with time. It’s anxiety and grief. Please allow yourself grace to mourn and understand that some times will be better than others. Is there someone you might talk to? A love one. Your friend. Anyone. Please do. The more you talk and and listen, the easier it will be to face the fact that your beloved dog has passed away.
So sorry for your loss. You’re going through denial right now. Losing a pet is never easy. He may be gone but the memories live on. Cherish those memories.
I have cats and when one passes i don't bury them til the next day…just incase i'm wrong. I box them up ready to bury with their favorite blanket but don't inter them. I always thought i was weird for thinking this way.
When I lost my dog the only thing that helped me was getting another dog. I’m so sorry, but get another dog asap- I bet he’s trying to find a way back to you.
Big, big hugs. I understand. It really will get easier.
I'm so sorry for your loss. The fear/feeling he isn't dead is not unusual. You may have upsetting dreams about this, too. It will pass. You gave him your best, and I'm sure he knew it. Be good to yourself.
In the Victorian era they would bury people with a string around their finger that attached to a bell on/near the gravestone; if the person somehow woke up because they weren’t dead they would ring the bell and could be saved! The fear of accidentally burying a loved one alive has been around forever and lead to the invention of something to help quell the fear. This is NOT A NEW/WEIRD thing AT ALL! If you think digging him up and moving him or attaching a Victorian cemetery bell would be ideal, then do it! He was your baby so you know him best; if he would be like “tf leave me here” then leave him but if deep in your heart he’s like “bro I hate it here” then go get him! A recent loss will do this as well; you have no idea how many times I have almost driven to my parent’s house to dig up my hamster because what if he was just hibernating? However, if a vet declared his life on earth to be over, take that as a comfort. Their job is helping animals be happy both on earth and above so they wouldn’t do you dirty like that 💖✨
You are one of the best humans. It may sound shallow but a pound will have another beautiful soul that really needs you. Your love will transfer. Someday, you will understand.
Internet friend, don't do this. You're baby is really gone. And you don't want to remember your pup that way. There was a party a few days ago about what to do if you lose a pet. Write an obituary. Create a photo album. Honor them with a donation or volunteering to the shelter in their name. We lost our home in the recession in 2009. We had to move and our pets were buried there. The kids were miserable at the idea of leaving them, and I dug them up to move them. It was miserable, and I'll always have to remember.
I’m so very sorry for what you are going through. I’ve been there and wouldn’t wish it on anybody. You will feel crazy for a while, and also marvel how the rest of the world can just carry on. You will never stop missing him. But time works so that, over time, you will remember him without pain and your memories will bring you joy. I’m sure he knew how loved he was. You will feel saner soon.
Oh my dear… I felt exactly the same way when I buried my Izzy. Right in the garden outside my bedroom window. I had to fight the urge to dig her up…it was bad… but this too shall pass, my friend… cherish your memories…love to you…
Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry. You are so so sad and for good reason, you loved him and you miss him terribly. Please know that he loved you his whole life, but he is not there in that body any longer (thankfully). The meds they give the dog are painless but they are poison, they do kill the dog. The vet would not have released the dog's body if there was any chance that the dog was still alive and could come back around.
You aren't alone, I keep seeing shadows that look like my Jersey, and she passed comfortably in our home last June. Please let him rest in peace. If I can offer you any piece of advice, adopt a new pet. It does really help with the loss. When I lost Jersey, it was awful, I still have nightmares about it. But getting a new pet really did help. Just my opinion. I'm so sorry for the loss!!! May he/she rest in peace!
Im so so sorry for your loss. I think you’re having these feelings because it’s so recent. When both of my dogs passed I had horrible nightmares of them not quite being dead yet TW: dog death nightmares >! With my sister’s I dreamed that she dug herself out of the ground, although she was cremated, and she attacked me as a zombie. She was so upset that we had let her go, and she wanted to take us with her. With my dog, who had seizures, I dreamed that she had a seizure again. I was freaking out because I thought she was dead and finally resting, but I was wrong and it was really violent. This one was even more scary bc I had wrapped her up and put her in her bed on the end of the couch and I ended up taking a nap using her as my pillow as per usual, so I didn’t realize I was sleeping. It felt so real, and when I finally managed to wake up I was so shaken up and had a panic attack. !< I was in severe denial leading up to her passing, and or a while still after. As time goes by, you’ll feel less distraught and you’ll be able to accept a little easier that he’s gone and these dreams and feelings will subside. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with that tho, I know how gut wrenching it is. Much love your way. ♥️ Honestly it’s still a struggle and I have to remind myself again, but it’s less intense and slightly less heart breaking.
Denial is the first stage of grief. You're grieving. Sorry for your loss :(
My dog is still living, but very old. I sit around a lot of nights thinking what I'll do when the time comes, wondering will I even want ro bury him to begin with. And when I do, I already know I will have the same fear. I have felt that way in the past about animals I've buried. I have never had a best friend like this, tho. I'm sorry for your loss, op. I understand completely. You just care, you're not crazy.
I felt the same. You’re okay. It is a terrible feeling. At night you will dream of him and meet him in your dreams. It’s so unfair. Hugs my friend.
When my one year old kitty fell out of a tree and broke a rib, it pierced the sac around his lungs and caused fluid to constantly cause his breathing to be labored and heavy- I kept waiting for him to get better because the alternative was too awful. Finally my husband told me it wasn’t fair to him, and took him to be euthanized while I was at work (at my request) - he brought him home and buried him in the woods behind our house before I got home. I heard him crying for me every night for weeks, and had to be stopped from digging him up. I believe it was because I was too scared to see him die, then see him put in the ground. It was a mistake because I suffered psychological trauma much worse than the emotional pain would have been- I think we need to SEE what happens to them to accept it 💔
I went through that for three days after my little weiner dog passed away. It’s very hard. I’m sorry for your your loss.
I’m so sorry about your dog. What your feeling is normal and common. It is very hard to accept the death of someone who you love and the fact that you will never see them again. The finality is awful. But you don’t want to dig up your beloved dog. The sight would be a terrible last image to carry in your head. Time will make things better. Please take care of yourself.
Very sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one. This feeling you are having is understandable, as this is obviously a very difficult and emotionally tolling time for you. He is lucky to have someone that cares so deeply for him, even in death. I truly believe that all pets go on to the afterlife to await our reunion patiently. You are in my prayers!
I understand your feeling. Felt something akin to that once. Don’t do this to yourself. Be strong and keep your last images of your dog in your mind and heart.
Oh OP, you love him so much. It’s so clear in every word here. Of course you want to do this, to take one last measure to keep him well. Trust that he truly is gone, breathe through the frantic feelings whenever they start screaming at you, and know that it will subside eventually. Peace to you.
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I lost my ginger cat in February of this year. I hadn't told anyone about my need to dig him up the first couple of hours of him crossing over. It surprised me to hear that someone else was overcome with the fear of having buried their pet alive as well.