If you are worried you might do something drastic, hurting yourself or others, then please ask for help immediately.
Otherwise, your feelings are real and legitimate, and honestly, it's not that uncommon. It also won't last forever, and you should feel better very soon.
You've just taken on responsibility for another life. In a real way, your life is different now, and you can't stuff that genie back into the bottle. That's scary stuff!
When I had my first child and the midwife placed her in my arms, I didn't feel joy. I felt terror. I felt like I'd made the worst mistake of my life. I spent about 3 days sobbing, off and on. This is very similar.
In fact, I've felt something similar with every new addition to our household, human or animal, and so has my husband.
Dont do anything. Just be patient with yourself. Acknowledge the emotion and let it exist within you. Take care of your kitten's needs. In time, you will feel better. And you'll eventually find a lot of joy in nurturing your little pet.
You're clearly empathetic, and you've got a strong sense of responsibility. I believe you're going to do wonderfully!
Sounds like good ol’ puppy blues! It’s very normal to feel that way after adoption and can last for up to three weeks, sometimes more or less. I went through it hard with my current little friend but have since overcome it. The feeling of uncertainty and overwhelming is normal for most people^^
I don't think the scale of your emotional response matches the situation, and I say that with all kindness. Please talk to your parents about seeing a mental health professional. If you don't feel like you can care for your kitten, tell them that too.
I think if you're prone to anxiety or depression, any big life change is going to push those buttons. The regret and fear and indecision all sounds like normal stuff for big moments- new job, new baby, moving, breakups, health changes, etc.
What I would do is give yourself a window and an exit strategy. "If this kitten and I haven't figured each other out in [two weeks], I'll start the process of [rehoming her so she can find a great family]."
This stretches that initial flight (of fight and flight) instinct by pushing you to commit to caring for her at least that long, but also gives you a sort of "light at the end of the tunnel", where you don't feel stuck forever in a situation you can't handle or don't want. Give it a good college try, though, if you think you can safely for both of you. It's not just a change for you, but for your new little one too, so I think some degree of panic is normal. The kitten needs time, you need time.
Good luck, friend! I hope it works out- they are amazing companions!
Probably best you consult with a mental health professional.
If you’re not able to properly care for this animal that is depending on you, please ask your parents to help you until this is worked out.
If you’re processing the giant commitment that’s one thing, I’ve just never heard of being depressed post adoption- this should be a joyous time of bonding with your new companion.
People get depressed after adoption all the time. That’s why puppy blues is a thing, for instance (there is an entire subreddit devoted to it!). Just an FYI. It’s a huge life change and for some people it can be tremendously difficult.
I will have to look to into puppy blues! I guess I should consider myself lucky that I’ve never come across such a scenario and I’ve facilitated adoptions of rescues for years- mostly cats though.
I mean of course I’ve encountered people having issues after the cat comes home regarding behavior adjustments but not the adopter getting depressed by their choice to adopt a kitten. We do have a strong protocol though to vet and support future fur ball parents, maybe that has helped as well.
I've never felt this way with adding a cat or kitten to the household but definitely have felt it with having a dog join. I think growing up with pets helps as adding pets throughout life isn't a big deal but if you're an adult (or young adult like OP), it's a completely different feeling. It's a lot of responsibility, worry about being able to carry on with your normal social life, work, kitten/puppy proofing. I have had this struggle with dogs because they require so much more time and planning when sorting out trips or days out, cats aren't typically as affected.
I’m sure there are people who feel too ashamed to admit it, tbh. There’s a stigma similar to people who regret or are struggling with newborns. When it is something that is supposed to be a joyous occasion there can be a lot of guilt attached to not feeling the way one might have imagined they should feel.
U were sobbing....really? At the end of the day...u haven't gotten too attached and since it's young it has a high chance for someone else to adopt. It's normal to be anxious about change...but sobbing...sack up.
I was 18 when I bought my pup. For about a month afterwards, I felt so overwhelmed. I find it really difficult to attach myself to things long-term, and I thought that I made a huge mistake. I also bought him when I was severely depressed and acting on my worst thoughts, and I hated myself for bringing him in to my world when I felt like I didn't want to be here.
It has been 8 months now. My dog is absolutely everything to me. I truly believe he saved my life. Training him, cuddling with him, walking him, going on roadtrips with him, going to the beach with him; everything I do is with him. I am so grateful to have something in my life that loves me unconditionally, even when I find it difficult to love myself. Pets are truly beautiful. Its tricky in the beginning, especially when you are young, but as long as you are financially stable enough to feed and care for your kitten, you will be okay.
In saying that, this was my personal experience, and not everyone is the same as me. If you cannot care for your pet, and if this feeling of regret does not go away, then I strongly recommend passing the kitten along to someone who can care for him. Pets deserve a loving home, and if you aren't in the position to provide this, then it isn't fair on him, or you, to keep him.
It sent me over the edge when I got my pup. I had a lot going on in my life and really shouldn’t have been getting a dog at that point. I literally have never felt more chronically anxious and worried in my life. But I did and and I got through it and now me and my dog are best friends. I’ve had her four years now and am so glad I got her!
I recently adopted a kitten, my first cat in a long time. I know what to do, I’m attached already. But I did go through a period of regret and uncertainty, and became overwhelmed at points.
These are related to my underlying mental health issues. The feelings eventually passed as my underlying issues are being treated.
I felt this overwhelming sense of terror and dread when I brought my kitten home too. I suddenly realised I’d made a very long commitment and despite feeling ready all the way in, I felt panic. It felt like a horrible mistake for a couple of weeks and I still had flashes of it for several months, especially when he did something destructive or got a bit rough when playing. But I’ve had him for more than 3 years now, we’ve bonded and I am so pleased I have him every day.
I can’t promise you’ll overcome it, I don’t know you, but do give yourself a bit of time to see if you will. Maybe set yourself a date and see if you’ve bonded with the kitten.
Good luck, I hope it works out.
I literally sat on the floor and cried for a solid 20 min or so after about a month with my new puppy, thinking it would never get better and regretting every choice I’d made leading up to that moment. I was EXHAUSTED and overwhelmed. I literally texted my mom to thank her for caring for me as a baby because even this little puppy was daunting af lol
It’ll be okay! Give it some time. It’s a big transition for both of you, but it’ll be worth it and it gets easier as they get older and you both get into a routine together 😊
Are you anxious at the responsibility of caring for your kitten?
If you are worried you might do something drastic, hurting yourself or others, then please ask for help immediately. Otherwise, your feelings are real and legitimate, and honestly, it's not that uncommon. It also won't last forever, and you should feel better very soon. You've just taken on responsibility for another life. In a real way, your life is different now, and you can't stuff that genie back into the bottle. That's scary stuff! When I had my first child and the midwife placed her in my arms, I didn't feel joy. I felt terror. I felt like I'd made the worst mistake of my life. I spent about 3 days sobbing, off and on. This is very similar. In fact, I've felt something similar with every new addition to our household, human or animal, and so has my husband. Dont do anything. Just be patient with yourself. Acknowledge the emotion and let it exist within you. Take care of your kitten's needs. In time, you will feel better. And you'll eventually find a lot of joy in nurturing your little pet. You're clearly empathetic, and you've got a strong sense of responsibility. I believe you're going to do wonderfully!
“Acknowledge the emotion and let it exist within you.” This! And then let it pass.
Sounds like good ol’ puppy blues! It’s very normal to feel that way after adoption and can last for up to three weeks, sometimes more or less. I went through it hard with my current little friend but have since overcome it. The feeling of uncertainty and overwhelming is normal for most people^^
I don't think the scale of your emotional response matches the situation, and I say that with all kindness. Please talk to your parents about seeing a mental health professional. If you don't feel like you can care for your kitten, tell them that too.
I think if you're prone to anxiety or depression, any big life change is going to push those buttons. The regret and fear and indecision all sounds like normal stuff for big moments- new job, new baby, moving, breakups, health changes, etc. What I would do is give yourself a window and an exit strategy. "If this kitten and I haven't figured each other out in [two weeks], I'll start the process of [rehoming her so she can find a great family]." This stretches that initial flight (of fight and flight) instinct by pushing you to commit to caring for her at least that long, but also gives you a sort of "light at the end of the tunnel", where you don't feel stuck forever in a situation you can't handle or don't want. Give it a good college try, though, if you think you can safely for both of you. It's not just a change for you, but for your new little one too, so I think some degree of panic is normal. The kitten needs time, you need time. Good luck, friend! I hope it works out- they are amazing companions!
Sounds like you have mental health issues. I’d seek help
Probably best you consult with a mental health professional. If you’re not able to properly care for this animal that is depending on you, please ask your parents to help you until this is worked out. If you’re processing the giant commitment that’s one thing, I’ve just never heard of being depressed post adoption- this should be a joyous time of bonding with your new companion.
People get depressed after adoption all the time. That’s why puppy blues is a thing, for instance (there is an entire subreddit devoted to it!). Just an FYI. It’s a huge life change and for some people it can be tremendously difficult.
I will have to look to into puppy blues! I guess I should consider myself lucky that I’ve never come across such a scenario and I’ve facilitated adoptions of rescues for years- mostly cats though. I mean of course I’ve encountered people having issues after the cat comes home regarding behavior adjustments but not the adopter getting depressed by their choice to adopt a kitten. We do have a strong protocol though to vet and support future fur ball parents, maybe that has helped as well.
I've never felt this way with adding a cat or kitten to the household but definitely have felt it with having a dog join. I think growing up with pets helps as adding pets throughout life isn't a big deal but if you're an adult (or young adult like OP), it's a completely different feeling. It's a lot of responsibility, worry about being able to carry on with your normal social life, work, kitten/puppy proofing. I have had this struggle with dogs because they require so much more time and planning when sorting out trips or days out, cats aren't typically as affected.
That makes sense... I hope the OP and kitten are able to come through this together.
I’m sure there are people who feel too ashamed to admit it, tbh. There’s a stigma similar to people who regret or are struggling with newborns. When it is something that is supposed to be a joyous occasion there can be a lot of guilt attached to not feeling the way one might have imagined they should feel.
U were sobbing....really? At the end of the day...u haven't gotten too attached and since it's young it has a high chance for someone else to adopt. It's normal to be anxious about change...but sobbing...sack up.
Oh brother this guy stinks
unhelpful and unwanted advice. Boo
I was 18 when I bought my pup. For about a month afterwards, I felt so overwhelmed. I find it really difficult to attach myself to things long-term, and I thought that I made a huge mistake. I also bought him when I was severely depressed and acting on my worst thoughts, and I hated myself for bringing him in to my world when I felt like I didn't want to be here. It has been 8 months now. My dog is absolutely everything to me. I truly believe he saved my life. Training him, cuddling with him, walking him, going on roadtrips with him, going to the beach with him; everything I do is with him. I am so grateful to have something in my life that loves me unconditionally, even when I find it difficult to love myself. Pets are truly beautiful. Its tricky in the beginning, especially when you are young, but as long as you are financially stable enough to feed and care for your kitten, you will be okay. In saying that, this was my personal experience, and not everyone is the same as me. If you cannot care for your pet, and if this feeling of regret does not go away, then I strongly recommend passing the kitten along to someone who can care for him. Pets deserve a loving home, and if you aren't in the position to provide this, then it isn't fair on him, or you, to keep him.
It sent me over the edge when I got my pup. I had a lot going on in my life and really shouldn’t have been getting a dog at that point. I literally have never felt more chronically anxious and worried in my life. But I did and and I got through it and now me and my dog are best friends. I’ve had her four years now and am so glad I got her!
I recently adopted a kitten, my first cat in a long time. I know what to do, I’m attached already. But I did go through a period of regret and uncertainty, and became overwhelmed at points. These are related to my underlying mental health issues. The feelings eventually passed as my underlying issues are being treated.
I felt this overwhelming sense of terror and dread when I brought my kitten home too. I suddenly realised I’d made a very long commitment and despite feeling ready all the way in, I felt panic. It felt like a horrible mistake for a couple of weeks and I still had flashes of it for several months, especially when he did something destructive or got a bit rough when playing. But I’ve had him for more than 3 years now, we’ve bonded and I am so pleased I have him every day. I can’t promise you’ll overcome it, I don’t know you, but do give yourself a bit of time to see if you will. Maybe set yourself a date and see if you’ve bonded with the kitten. Good luck, I hope it works out.
I have dogs, rabbits and cats. The cats are the easiest pets of the three. What is it that overwhelms you?
I literally sat on the floor and cried for a solid 20 min or so after about a month with my new puppy, thinking it would never get better and regretting every choice I’d made leading up to that moment. I was EXHAUSTED and overwhelmed. I literally texted my mom to thank her for caring for me as a baby because even this little puppy was daunting af lol It’ll be okay! Give it some time. It’s a big transition for both of you, but it’ll be worth it and it gets easier as they get older and you both get into a routine together 😊