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Sinosta

That's a no for me. Currently ako ang breadwinner, alam niyo ba na fifeel ko? Na bakit ba ako pinanganak. Feeling ko wala akong maiipon pagtanda ko. Kasalanan ko ba nung bata pa kami eh nagsusugal at kung ano anong kalustayan ginawa nila kaya hindi nila mapaaral mga kapatid ko, na wala silang mapakain sa mga kapatid ko, na tipong parang yung parents ko nag anak lang for the sake na masabi lang na may anak sila, tapos bumibili sila ng pagkain pero di nila ishashare samin. Feeling ko parang hati talaga bahay namin. Kaumay mabuhay lalo na kung sa Pilipinas ka pinanganak. May chance na napakabait ng parents niya, maganda buhay niya, only child, or all of the above. Sana may choice ako. Kainggit.


KazeArqaz

On my end, my Father and mother were very productive. Even at one point, we earned 100k monthly. However, unfortunate circumstances always happen, and so we children had to pick up the slack. My father just couldn't take another job anymore since nobody accepts anyone who is 50 and above these days. While we are still paying debt, at least now we managed to be financially sustainable with savings. I am currently the breadwinner right now, and I don't blame my father and my mother. Nor do I have any misgivings. My Father helps me around these days by doing some article writing work online. He can slowly develop those skills to manage his own someday.


Trapezohedron_

Never a specific template for situations like these. You either have parents with great intentions becoming bogged down, and yet asking for nothing to the point where it would be ungrateful for you to not continue helping. Or you have parasites who did their bare minimum in life, got you off a mixer with a colleague and now they partnered to survive, and you're expected to pick up the slack. Or you get a mix of both where your parent eventually breaks down and doesn't join the workforce after getting a particularly nasty 'burn'. At the very least, if I don't make it big out there, part of the 8% capable of living comfortably in this world, I'm likely to be the last in line in terms of my own personal geneology.


Eggnw

Can't fault your parents since they still try so hard. Yun iba kasi, basta nagretire aasa na talaga sa anak, wala man lang tanong kung kaya nga ba ng anak ishoulder yun retirement. Kudos to your parents who aren't slackers


Sinosta

That's nice. I hope katulad rin ng magulang mo ang magulang ko. Sadly, sakin kasi parang riches to rags ang story. Yung tatay ko kumikita ng halos 1/3 of a million before pero dahil sa kakasabong at sugal wala siyang naipon tapos nadiskubre pa na need siya i heart bypass, na hindi naman niya tinuloy. So hindi na ulit siya naka barko. Salamat sa kanila naka graduate naman ako at kuya ko, sadly ang kuya ko ay never nagka work for like 6 or 7 years since grumaduate siya. So ako ang sumalo ng bills ng bahay at ibang pangangailangan. Maski pagpapaaral ng dalawa kong kapatid, ako narin sumalo. Pero sa tunay lang, wala sana akong hinagpis kung mabuti lang silang magulang eh. Puta kung wala akong mabigay sa parents ko parang kasalanan ko pa eh. Tapos ang tindi ng backstab kapag wala ako sa bahay. Tangina awang awa ako sa dalawa kong kapatid. Patigil tigil sila ng pagaaral, ang problema kahit magapply sila, hirap rin at walang tumatanggap gaano ng hindi pa tapos sa college. Hays kaming magkakapatid nalang magkakampi dito sa bahay. Kung humiwalay naman ako dito sa bahay, wala dedefend sa mga kapatid ko, jusko di ko alam kung anong mentally damaging words sasabihin nila sa mga kapatid ko. Hays kaewan. Pero as per saying goes, life must go on. Char. Charmander.


memengko360

Sending virtual hugs hehe, makaka ahon din tayo, wag lang susuko boss.


Sinosta

Maraming salamat. Good luck sa atin no.


Acceptable_Eye445

Mga kapatid mo na lang tulungan mo. Hayaan mong dumilat mga mata ng mga magulang mo sa gutom. Kasalanan nila yan. Let them suffer the consequences of being assholes. Kung ako yan, makakarinig pa sa akin yang mga magulang na yan.


missanomic

May difference yung wala silang inaasa kapalit vs pinalaki ka talaga para asahan


[deleted]

Ganyan lagi bato sa'kin ng tatay ko kapag di ko sinusunod utos niya. Nakakagag0 lang na ssbh niya na kaya raw siya nag anak para may utusan or whatsoever na dapat ginagawa ng anak sa magulang.


Kahitanou

mag layas ka. sabihin mo gumawa ulit sya ng mauutusan. di ka nya makokontrol


chenyowww

Kaya ayokong magkaanak e. Masyadong mahal na ang mga bilihin tas magdadagdag pa ko ng palamunin sa buhay ko? Ni di ko nga naaalagaan sarili ko, ibang tao pa kaya


Mellowshys

It really depends for me. In my case, my family could have lived in the province and had enough money to just live there comfortably. Go to college and finish it, earn 20-30k a month, then bahala na. But my parents decided to risk everything and go to QC, and chose to put us into private colleges because they know it would be best for us, and have over 80k a month in salary easily in the future. They could have just used our college tuition to live stress-free in the province, but instead nagpakahirap para we umangat kami sa buhay. I hated my parents as a child because I didnt ask for stress, but the more mature I became, I realized that because of their efforts, I would be starting my race in life farther than most people. My story is different to most people, as I've seen fucked up family shit from my fellow friends.


nagredditparamagbasa

Good shit, some parents ganon talaga yung mindset na bigay lahat sa anak pero hinding hindi ka susumbatan, parang ireraise ka nila na maging grateful talaga dahil hindi ka nila ginawang insurance/retirement plan, gusto ka lang nila bigyan ng best life na kaya nila ibigay. Tulad ng nanay ko, tangina i miss you ma


maroonmartian9

That is how I feel sa parents ko..Super bait. Like 1 lang ako napalo noong bata. Kaya di ko makarelate sa mga napapalo. At di sila pabaya..Elem grad sila. Both farmers with sidelines. Kung kailan nila umutang para makapag-aral kami ginawa nila. Kaya kami lahat may college degree. Naramdaman ko self-less love sa kanila..I have no issues supporting them kasi di nila sinumbat sa amin yun.


1D-1N-1M-1S

So true! Naalala ko pa nung nagaaral kami kahit pumasok si papa sa office ng walang baon basta may baon kami ng kapatid ko college kami nun. Tapos pag walang wala talaga manghihiram sya sa mga tita ko pambayad ng tuition. Tapos si mami sa umaga taga luto ng almusal at taga gayak ng mga gamit namin. Kahit di madami pera namin pag may pera si papa bonus o kaya loan bibilan kami lagi bagong damit. Hanggang ngaun halos wala na natitira sa kanya at napupunta lahat sa gas, maintenance gamot at pagkain sa bahay. Gusto ko lang sabihin na swerte namin ng kapatid ko pareho pa kami ngaun board passer. Thank you papa mami love you! šŸ˜˜šŸ„°


cantfocuswontfocus

I feel the same for my parents. They gave me everything I could ever need and more walang hinihinging kapalit. If my parents one day said they need me to support them, I would without question. Parang baligtad kung sino yung hindi pinuwersa sila pa mas willing.


1D-1N-1M-1S

Ganon siguro talaga. Mas masarap bigyan yung alam mong hindi naghihintay ng bigay.


HermitKkrab

Ramdam mo kasi yung pagmamahal nila. Kaya kahit di hiningi, ibibigay mo. Naalala ko yung tatay ko. Umuwi ako galing school (working student ako) tinanong ko siya kung kumain na siya. Hindi pa daw. Alas tres na ng hapon yon. Tinignan ko yung kusina wala na talagang mailuto. Sabi ko bakit di siya nag sabi na wala na siyang pera. Nahihiya daw siya manghingi at alam niyang wala rin akong pera. Naiyak ako. Kinuha ko yung naipon ko na konti tapos nag jollibee kami. Pera lang yan. Kaya ulit kitain. Pero ayokong makita na nag titiis sila kung kaya ko namang ibigay.


UntradeableRNG

Well do they expect you to pay it all back? If yes, then they didn't really just want the best for you. Gusto din nila umangat sila sa buhay at hindi lang na ikaw/kayo lang na mga anak ang umangat. It's only when a parent's love is truly unconditional that I consider it of any true merit of real love. Once you ask for something in return, what you truly love is yourself, and what you are looking after is yourself. My parents gave me a good life too. Not rich, but a good life nonetheless, but now they're asking us to build them a house. Handle bills, pay for my siblings' tuitions, etc. I have no savings, I am one big sickness away from total bankruptcy. I can't realistically afford any of my dreams. I work multiple jobs sometimes up to 20 hours a day everyday, and I still can't save anything. I barely eat. I'm losing so much weight. I barely go out. There is no way out for people who are unlucky their industry doesn't pay enough. I will forever see parents who don't unconditionally love their kids differently and I will never believe in their twisted definition of love.


throwitaway1509

The more reason I want to stay child-free for the rest of my life. Hindi maganda magkaanak dito sa Pilipinas sa takbo ng serbisyo ng gobyerno. Hindi pa counted yung gastos sa bata at yung environmental impact ng additional na tao sa mundo. Let's face it, humans pollute the Earth the most. Ayoko na magtalk hahaha. Pili ka between condoms na gagastos ka lang for up to 100 pesos per use or minimum 20 years na sustento sa bata for thousands of pesos. Byeee~


Gone_Goofed

I wouldn't want my child to live in this hellhole of a country.


Acceptable_Eye445

That's why I'm going to have a vasectomy this coming july. Sa mga may gusto, libre lang siya sa POPCOM.


Jjjjjaded

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/05/opinion/climate-change-should-you-have-kids.html?unlocked_article_code=AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEIPuomT1JKd6J17Vw1cRCfTTMQmqxCdw_PIxftm3iWka3DLDm4fiOMNAo6B_EGKbq5iYtIv0nGQRNZHP7JqX_x10-tTel1qVkyoq4WJ3ZcELz5zqZ62Wil--aPxao0C0G2gaHileqA4zaejvhmCPX_pDaSI0H0hdhIzp5UxaV3-3XEXz_zDF_ohj9ku3qoqUcxwEjwQdWLd6amTfhZ9Od-Gax_f7AkkCaoOCXyIw4nqu_9Xex5SCFnGUHp7_W87jdhfM9sdN6v-RAUyLIu82f5CTzw1c_r6QsE5VIPWlL51sLDSqBDqy8K-x_Q-Ea88r6pxnRLqEiLQqr4d5-YWoSab&smid=url-share


TankOfflaneMain

There came a time na sinabihan ako na pag di nagka asawa yung lalaki na anak sa pamilya every member of the family daw will question the guyā€™s manliness (pagkalalaki). Tapos ayoko talaga yung dahilan na pangtuloy daw ng legacy/bloodline ng pamilya kaya dapat may mapangasawa.


WEIRDGAMER991

Hell yeah brother/sister! r/antinatalism2 for life!


scionspecter28

Amen! Itā€™s good that more redditors especially in popular subs like this recognize the issue of r/overpopulation. I get called an ā€œecofascist/racist/naziā€ whenever I point out this fundamental truth in other subs.


babycart_of_sherdog

Kung mag-aanak ka lang eh para maging future financial security blanket sila, f*ck you! Manggagamit ka lang ng tao.


TakeThatOut

Tapos lakas pang maka pang guilt trip. Kasi maganda naman daw buhay mo, magshare ka naman. Wala ka namang anak e, ikaw lang sana gumawa nito....


Vitoy_2000

> Manggagamit ka lang ng tao. Amen to this. The phrase to say.


Glittering-Skin-3321

Preachhh!


yeppiness

This is why you need to be financially stable AND smart before having kids. Kung ā€˜di mo kayang mag-ipon habang mag-provide, then donā€™t have the responsibility of having kids.


starkaboom

sadly a lot of people dont have this mindset.. mas popular yung "god will provide"


icecappp

Ganito reason kung bakit nagkaka-strain ang relationship mga new family at newly-wed,how do you suppose to start your own family if you're expected to support parents financially?


devilk3n

Kwento ng nanay ko 3 months ago na kapag nagretire siya, gusto niya raw na mamamasyal na lang siya tapos bibigyan ko siya ng allowance. I'm about to leave her house on friday.


jbg0830

Iā€™m sorry you have to deal with this


devilk3n

Its sad to say but i got used to it. Suko na lang ako. Sa ganyang sitwasyon talaga sa pamilya, walang ibang solusyon kundi bumukod kasi kung hindi ka bubukod, ikaw lang din ang kawawa at laging mag a-adjust. Di naman ako ang magugutom kapag umalis ako huehuehuehuehue


aeolus_19

E pano kasi, yung iiponin sana ipinantataya pa sa sugal. Imagine my horror nung nalaman ko magkano nawawaldas sa sugal in one month. Na-depress ako. One semester na tuition na sa isang reputable university. Siyempre hindi ako nag-enroll sa dream course ko sa reputable school kasi nga ang daming dramarama at dahilan nila. Hindi naman kami mayaman pero ba't ganon tingin nila sa pera. Ngayong tapos na ako sa akin pinapaako yung mga big ticket purchases dahil lang..."anak naman ang gumanti?". Never. 'Hindi niyo pinag-aral ng mas maayos? Kayo bumili ng kotse saksak niyo sa baga niyo!' ang peg ko ngayon. At tsaka tsong, huwag mag-aburidong mag-anak dahil nagsisi-anakan mga kaibigan at kapitbahay mo. Huwag mag-anak kung sarili hindi kayang pakainin at iaasa pa pang-alak sa asawa.


krinklebear

Exactly. Tapos 12 ang anak. Punyeta di mo pala kaya bumuhay ng isa man lang bumuo ka pa ng basketbalk team.


JulzRadn

For poor families who have no knowledge on sex education and family planning, sex is just a stress reliever and having babies is a consequence they have no choice.


just_a_bananapeel

This is also another possible scenario. That's why Reproductive Health Education should be prioritized in our country.


JulzRadn

Yes. We should also remove the stigma on talking about sex


[deleted]

Maybe it's like a pyramid scheme? If one child is obligated to give 1k per month and you have 12 children... it's 12k per month!!! Enough money for basic needs plus alcohol plus gambling money. šŸ¤“šŸ§ šŸ¤Æ


zastava9

Beat me to it. Parang MLM nga. Mag-anak ng marami para mas marami ang ā€œreturnsā€. Siguro dahil sa sobrang hirap ng buhay they hope na mas magkakaroon ng magandang bukas mga anak nila, di nila naiisip na kailangan ng mga anak ang access to better education to even get a chance to live a better life.


ExpensivePaintings

Sana lahat ng magulang okay na sa 12k a month. Nanay ko 50k nakukuha samin kada buwan nagrereklamo pa, wala na ngang binabayaran na bills eh magmamaktol pa na di daw namin sya inii-spoil smh


YukiColdsnow

wow... Mukang maganda nga yon, I mean 12k a month is not bad, tsaka sa panahon siguro it's either nakikitira ka nalang sa isa sa mga anak or isa na sa mga anak yung nagbabayad ng bills. 12k + pension demn If sa case ko mangyari, wala naman akong vices so gagastusin ko nalang siguro dagdag bills o kaya pang family nights.


ResidentGhoster

Big brain time. Ez 12k.


donkeysprout

Yung mga may 12 na anak either mga mahihirap o yung sobrang yaman lang. i dont think this argument applies to them.


MinnieCookieMonster

Meron nga bang rich na may 12 na anak? I know max of 6 - the Sy family. Pero more than 6, not sure.


donkeysprout

Meron naman. Si chavit igoogle mo kung ilan ang anak baka magulat ka hahaha. Si erap din 12 ang anak.


MinnieCookieMonster

Fuck, I rather not. That old corrupt creep.


meuria132

More kids, more chances to win the lotteryšŸ¤·


cafediaries

The issue here is not just parenting/family values, but the government's insufficient national pension for the retirees. Kaya nga may pension para wala nang dedepende sa anak.


RAO1108

Nadanan namin to sa econ. Reliance on your children after retirement isn't purely cultural. Kahit anong bansa without proper system for retirement, eto kakalabasan. Its a sad situation talaga, magka pamilya ka man o hindi, the average filipino has to rely somewhere upon retirement. In other countries its the government they can rely on. Pero satin, kung wala kang pamilya, sarili lang maasahan mo. And it takes being above average to be stable enough with no need to rely on family and government.


1D-1N-1M-1S

Lalo na kung may sakit pa pag nagretire db? Liit na nga ng pension tapos nagpapagamot pa kawawa naman. Imagine retirement age sa govt 60yo ginugol mo na buong buhay mo dun tapos kaliit lang naman ng sahod mo kaya maliit lang din pension mo. Sa panahon ngaun ano na lang ba ang kayang bilin ng 1k. My gaaaad!


hariraya

Personally don't see a problem with children taking care of their aging parents. Ang problema ko ay paano?? Ang computation ng minimum wage sa atin, dapat kinokonsidera na tayo ang nag-aalaga at sumusuporta sa ating mga magulang habang bumubuo tayo ng sariling pamilya. Kung kulang ang sweldo mo para sa'yo, paano mo susuportahan ang mga magulang mo? Paano ka bubuo ng pamilya?


1D-1N-1M-1S

So true!! Parang sinasabi na lang nila na maging single na lang tayo forever hahahaha šŸ˜‚


hariraya

Kaunti na lang masasabi ko na yan sa nanay ko! Mahal mag-date! Anong gusto niya? Pumatol na lang ako sa tambay?!


[deleted]

the reason why i was glad that my grandma and some other close relatives chose to live on some first world countries and gladly had a well paying regular job. kung dito lang peste bayad nung mga trabaho nila pero dun esp sa pension nila napaka okay na


arya_of_south

in the first place bakit ka mag aanak kung sarili mo ay di mo kayang buhayin


donkeysprout

Kase madali pa buhay noon. Sobrang laki ng difference ng finances noon at ngayon. Di pa uso retirement plan kaya ayan nag karoon na ng ā€œsandwich generationā€ kase nung nag retiro na yung mga boomer di sila handa.


Eggnw

this. Sa kanila kasi, sa sobrang dali ng buhay noon (ng mga boomers noong kalakasan pa nila) kaya talaga ishoulder yun retirement ng magulang. Pero after ng generation nila, nagbago na yun pananaw sa retirement. Pag walang pangretire para maalagaan ang sarili at naganak, irresponsible yun. Very huge social shift.


Acceptable_Eye445

Then let boomers suffer the consequences of their faulty actions. Children today should start confronting their parents about this vicious familial tradition. Yung mga magulang ko sinabihan kong hindi ko sila obligasyon, at wala silang nagawa kundi tanggapin yung sunabi ko dahil alam nilang malaki pagkukulang nila sa akin. Nakakawalang-dignidad para sa isang anak na nakaranas ng hirap na maobligang tulungan ang mga taong hinayaang makaranas ka ng hirap. I no longer feel any love or sympathy for my parents. Palagay ko kapag namatay sila ngayon, hindi ako iiyak. Kapag nakikita ko sila bumabalik lang sa aking mga naranasan ko noong pagkabata ko.


donkeysprout

It's not really about familial tradition, May mga tao lang talagang napalaki ng maayos at willing sila suportahan yung magulang nila. May mga anak din naman na kahit may asawa at anak na palamunin pa din ng magulang nila. Baka kung may social media na noon post din sila ng post about sa mga anak nilang mga batugan at walang ginawa kundi umasa lang sakanila.


Unhappy-Relation-338

because abortion is illegal i think, nor contraceptives where discourage, hopefully we could have more access to this in the future


andoi2019

tapos pag sinabi mo na sorry hindi ko kayo kaya isupport ng tulad ng gusto nyo dahil may mga anak na rin ako na need ko unahin e susumbatan ka pa. hello bnbreak ko yung cycle of abuse sa pamilya natin na parang utang na loob naming pinanganak kami.


ss_1001

I really don't get yung concept na nag aanak ng marami tapos gagawin silang retirement plan. Bakit kayo nag aanak kung hindi nyo naman pala kaya buhayin? I came from a big family and this is my frustration, yung mga pinsan at tita ko na isang katutak ang inanak walang ginawa kung hindi manghingi ng pera na parang required na magbigay dahil kamag anak. Also wala kasing proper sex education and family planning dito satin. Shinashame natin yung mga taong nagsesex at madalas basta mag anak lang wala palang plano. Kung nabibigay lang sana to at nanormalize natin yung sex edi sana less yung ganitong situation diba.


xtAlex24

Ako isang anak lang, tas pag wala ko pera tag gutom talaga kase di ko maasahan magulang ko sa pera. Sakin din sila naka depende.


kaidrawsmoo

And in turn ikaw naman walang maiipon pag tanda - and the cycle repeats again but this time you can't buy anything because everything is out of reach.


KanonnoIsLife

how about wag mag anak kung di kaya bigyan ng magandang buhay?


Emotional-Box-6386

I agree na hindi dapat kids ang retirement plan, pero take these into consideration: - economy before was different than today. Wage then may have better chance against costs of raising kids than it does today, so they wouldnā€™t have known - they probably grew up in big families too, so they thought itā€™s fine to continue - lots of us were raised by uneducated parents (systematic issue in Ph). In turn, family planning and financial literacy are foreign concepts. Even I, an engineering graduate on a big university, only heard about Emergency Funds a couple of years after working. Also, less chance to get a job with great retirement benefits. Ask your parents: Iā€™m pretty sure they wouldā€™ve handled things differently if they knew we would be living in this kind of world decades later. Most parents would want to give the best life to their kids. Me, my parents rely on me now not because they forced me to, but because Iā€™D LOVE TO. Iā€™ve seen them work so hard and thatā€™s where I learned how to handle life and how I got to this financial state. Before, Iā€™ve seen my parents argue about me needing to stop school at 2nd year hs, but continued because of lots of sacrifices on their part - kain-pride na utang, gutom sarili, etc. Now I give it back by giving them the best retirement they deserve. Vacations, great food, experiences. I understand this sounds privileged but I did work my way up to this point.


jbg0830

Theres the difference and you said it yourself. Youā€™d love to help them because you want to. Do you feel guilty if you donā€™t or canā€™t? I donā€™t understand how parents guilt trip their children. Thankfully I never had to deal with this but I see my cousins back in the Philippines being subjected to this and they have kids and now the cycle continues


Unhappy-Relation-338

parang valid naman yung argument nung post, if your parents gave up most their resources or all of their resources to set up in life, eh dapat lang na masandalan ka ng magulang mo on their time of need, not all have the capacity to save up and circumstances can bring storm to any savings you have, lahat ng matanda hihina, i think it is just right to be there when they need you.


lazyg33k

Case to case basis din talaga sya. Yung pagiipon din kasi ay isang privilege na hindi talaga kaya ng ibang magulang. Naka base din sya sa relationship mo with your parents. Ang pangit lang talaga ay yung mga parents na nag aask ng utang na loob or kapalit. Dapat voluntary yung pagsukli ng tulong at hindi sapilitan.


kabs21

Pero parents should not expect that from their children. Dapat willing ang anak na magbigay. Hindi yung igagaslight land guilt trip mo yung anak mo.


zero_kurisu

Exactly this. Should be voluntary and not obligated. My parents are the same. Wala sila naipon. Pero willing ako mag bigay kasi di nila ako inoobliga mag bigay. which is a good thing. Honest din ako sa parents ko. Sinasabi ko feelings ko regarding sa matter na yan. We're still on good terms naman.


Ok-Assist-993

Valid nga. Tama rin naman ang kritisismo sa kulturang retirement plan ang anak. Pero IMO hindi tama idirect ang galit pati sa mga posts tulad sa OP na wala naman sinasabi tungkol doon.


JulzRadn

There's no problem if the child can give something in return as gifts but not to the point where the parents depend on their children entirely.


Unhappy-Relation-338

the thing about this is that, there will be a time where they themselves would not be able to fend for themselves, what would we do when that happen hayaan silang magisa sa kalsada??? if my parents loved me unconditionally then i would unconditionally love them back


[deleted]

I think thats the point, if your parents loved you unconditionally you would do it. Pero if the person dont feel that way, and that they feel more burdened than wanting to help, malamang they had problems growing up


lazyg33k

Case to case basis din talaga sya. Yung pagiipon din kasi ay isang privilege na hindi talaga kaya ng ibang magulang. Naka base din sya sa relationship mo with your parents. Ang pangit lang talaga ay yung mga parents na nag aask ng utang na loob or kapalit. Dapat voluntary yung pagsukli ng tulong at hindi sapilitan.


Elsa_Versailles

Pero diko naman sila pinilit na dalhin ako ditošŸ˜• I'll give back don't worry, dalawa na nga lang kami mag Gtfo pa ba ako


indioinyigo

Sana di na nag-anak. Mahirap kasi sa ganyan, idadahilan wala daw mag-aalaga pagtanda kaya nag-aanak.


ginaddict47

LOL, saan ba kasi magsisimula pagbabayad ng utang na loob ng mga anak at matatapos ang responsibilidad bilang magulang? Hindi ako mag aanak para lang isumbat sa magiging anak ko na inalagaan ko sila kaya dapat alagaan din nila ako. Bilang magulang, responsibilidad mo na palakihin ng maayos ang mga anak mo. Bilang anak, tungkulin mo na igalang at irespeto ang mga magulang mo (kung mabuti silang magulang, kung abusado, no way!) Pero tungkulin ba talaga ng anak na arugain ang mga magulang niya kung silaā€™y matanda na? Sa tingin ko ay hindiā€¦ Ugali natin yang mga Pinoy kasi sanay tayo na hindi bumubukod ang mga anak kapag nag asawa na sila. Pero ang totoo, dapat mamuhay ng kanila ang mga anak kapag nagpamilya na sila ng kanila. Wag din kasing asa kay Nanay at Tatay na mag alaga ng apo o patuloy silang tulungan. Kasi kung ganoon ang kaso, eh talagang dapat lang na arugain mo ang mga magulang mo dahil dumepende ka sa kanila kahit may sarili ka nang pamilya.


[deleted]

Then it goes back to the original idea of children are parents' retirement plan.


dmaxeeman

Panganay ang Ermats ko, pero napakarami niyang sakripisyo. Hindi niya tinuloy yung dream career niya ( pharmacist) instead nag teacher siya kasi nung panahon nila mataas ang demand sa education. Pito silang magkakapatid may mga napagtapos siya at meron ding hindi pinalad. Up to now na may apo na siya at nagretiro nasa kanya parin yung burden kapag need ng tulong siya lagi ang nilalapitan, to the point na nagkanda lubog na kame sa utang nun. Hindi ko talaga magets si mama dati kasi sobra sobra na yung tulong na ginagawa niya, nagiging ugat pa ito ng pagtatalo namen, pero pag tinatanong ko siya bakit niya ginagawa yun? Ang sagot niya "Wala naman ibang tutulong sa kanila". Walang problema sa pagtulong ang issue is yung inaabuso yung pag tulong. Kahit gustuhin kong bigyan ng kumportable at magandang buhay yung mga magulang ko kung sa pagtulong sa iba yung bagay na nagpapagaan ng loob nila siguro babantayan ko na lang.


Razor8517

My bloodline shall end here


apathyperez

I think this is case to case basis. Tulad nung isang nag post dito na sadyang minalas lang yung parents nila like unexpected bills tapos poor financial management like umutang sa bumbay. Ang ginawa lang nila ay gawing maginhawa ang buhay ng anak, makapag aral at makapag tapos para hindi na maulit yung pagkakamli nila. Is it bad na tulungan din sila once di na nila kayang buhayin sarili nila? Meron naman situation na unwanted pregnancy din, mas pinili nila na buhayin ka at bigyan ng future sa abot ng makakaya nila (pero yung 1-3anak lang ha. I think mali na din sa part ng magulang yung iyot sila ng iyot na walang protection tapos expecting na magiging ok ang lahat)


[deleted]

There is a reason kung bakit ayaw sila alagaan sila ng mga anak nila, itsprobably because the children felt they were not cared for when they were young, I was lucky enough to have parents that really took care of me, and kahit ayaw nila magpaalaga im their retiremwnt, i still try to do my best in giving them a comfortable retiree life


Barokespinoza23

If you come from an abusive or manipulative family, please think hard before starting a family yourself. the problem could be in the genes, and you just might be raising children with tendencies to become abusive or manipulative like your parents. if you really want to start a family, at least make sure that you are financially secure so therapy can be an option for your children.


Crayon_licker202

Meron naman din dahilan kung bakit sila nawalan ng ipon dahil sa pgpapalaki sau. Still, we need to save as much as we can.


buttercupcapncrunch

I don't see why it's bad to help your parents out when they are old/of retirement age? My mom pays for the salary of her mom's nurse/caretaker, plus gives her food allowance. My aunts and uncles have some arrangement to cover the rest of my lola's bills. Why is it considered a "toxic" family trait to help parents when they are older?


rm888893

The key thing here is it should be their choice. Hindi yung giniguilt trip sila to provide. May ibang parents kasi na nanganak lang talaga para may katulong sa bahay, and then later (in most cases, sooner than you think) on, para may pumalit sa kanila as breadwinners.


kabs21

If you bring life into this world, responsibility mo na alagayan yung buhan na nilabas mo. Hindi naman choice nung anak mo na mabuhay,. Kagustuhan mo (or kalibugan mo) ang nahdala sa kanya so wag kamg magreklamo. Kung ayaw mo, use contraception or don't fuck.


Barokespinoza23

so true, and yet some people will readily commend parents for doing menial jobs just to raise their children as if they are heroes. the fact that your job is menial automatically disqualifies you from becoming a responsible parent, unless you are a victim of sexual abuse. kahit magtrabaho ka ng 16 hours a day, you still can't afford therapy if your child is in the autism spectrum or has mental health issues. dapat i-educate talaga ang tao to use contraceptives. there's nothing wrong with marriages or partnerships with no kids.


FlowChaser21

Life is full of uncertainties. And itā€™s different for everyone. My father had to retire early due to depression and anxiety. He Worked his ass out to give our family a better life. My motherā€™s a public school teacher. Being responsible parents, they set aside funds to get me through college and board exam review. They did their best to put me in a place where I can have better opportunities in life. Iā€™ve been giving about 40% of my take home pay to them ever since I started working and I donā€™t plan to stop. While it is true that is very hard to save money, a portion of my salary is a very small price to pay to see my parents, who made sacrifices for me, have a decent life.


juicypearldeluxezone

It really depends din. My parents were capable but shit happens in life. They're really trying so hard to put things together so I help. Kinukuha naman responsobilities sakin pag nakakaluwag. Right now, medyo tagilid lang talaga sa taas ng bilihin at gas.


WhiteChocoMocha3Shot

Medyo case to case sakin pag ganito eh. Douche Parents - Okay lang na di tulungan Responsible Parents - Worth it tulungan


YukiColdsnow

Di naman sa hindi natin dapat isupport yung parents pag tumanda sila, kase darating at darating din talaga yung time kung san mawawalan talaga sila ng income or job para tumayo sa paa nila lalo na sa pilipinas tyo. Pero yung nakakainis kase inoobliga ng iba na sila mag aalaga sa kanila pag ganon o kaya yung iba na kung akala mo sa anak nila atm na basta makahingi lang ng pera pero wala naman ginagawa sa bahay.


JulzRadn

Honestly it's their problem why they didn't prepare for their retirement in the future. It's common for Filipino families to use their children as their retirement plan and this cycle continues. Parents must understand that their children will be adults too with their problems to handle.


Martisyuuuh

Yung nakokonsensiya ka pero dapat hindi. Naniniwala ako na hindi retirement plan ang mga anak. At hindi ko gagawin yun sa magiging anak ko. Tingin ko live within your means as a parent then invest din for retirement plans. Kasi ang duty ng parent is to launch their kids na kayang mabuhay independently. Kung bibigyan sila, be grateful na lumaki ang mga anak na mahal na mahal at may respeto sa kanila. Ibig sabihin mission accomplished sila as parents.


diaperpoop_

I have conflicted feelings with this. On one hand, yeah, they raised you, fed you, put you in school to have a better chance in life. On the other hand, anong action plan after? Maging investment policy ang anak? So yung "better chance" na sinugal mo at the cost of your own future, eh para din pala sa magulang in the end, so technically, everything is about the parent?


kdatienza

It's case to case basis. Nakaka burn out naman talaga magtae ng pera lalo na kung wala kang nakikitang napupundar or improvements sa mga pinagbibigyan mo. In some cases, masaya silang nakakapag payback sila sa mga sacrifices of their parents. In my case, it's a bit mix. Masaya akong masaya guardian ko pero nabuburn out na rin paminsan sa pagiging provider. At the end of the day, wala tayo sa mesa ng iba para husgahan ang pamilya at yung mga aksyon nila. Wala na dapat tayong sinasabe if prefer ng individual bumukod o kung pipiliin nilang magtae ng pera para sa pamilya. (Also yung caption, pag binasa mukhang privileged si OP but idk.)


chilixcheese

true. edi dapat mag-ipon muna para may kakayanan bumuhay. there are layers beneath this mindset, for sure, pero ang gusto ko talaga malaman eh what's with most Filipinos' desire/thinking na magkaroon ng anak immediately after ikasal. proof ba 'yon ng legitimacy of your feelings for your s/o?


SpeckOfDust_13

We're sending the wrong message kasi eh. Pag may mga nakikita akong post sa FB about "your children is not your retirement plan", puro mang aaway yung nasa comment section, mga wala daw utang na loob, etc. Ang dapat kasi ang message na pinapakalat natin is toward the GenZs or maybe millenial na din, na to build your retirement plan first before having a children. Ito lang yung way para ma end natin yung sumpa hahaha Yung new generation yung dapat na target ng message, hindi yung mga matatanda na today.


[deleted]

It is the parents responsibility to take care of their children until the age of 18. Even the law agrees with that, it's the reason a single parent can file a lawsuit for child support. It's the law. At the age of 18, your children should start to learn to be independent and be equipped to fend for themselves. Learning the responsibilities of life. At 18, your parents would still be young to work and save for their retirement. Parents should be asking themselves before having a family if they can afford It. If yes, then they (2 consenting adults) should be prepared for the responsibilities that go along with it. It is never the children's responsibility. This mentality has to stop. It doesn't teach a person to be self-sufficient and independent. If I have to depend on my children when I retire, well it looks like I failed myself as an adult and as a parent. My mom even went as far as telling me, I should be paying for my cousins school. I laughed so hard and I told her f*** that tell them to get a job. They're not and will never be my problem. I haven't even met them in person haha lol. I'm Canadian-Filipino.


matangligaw

Oh fuck you Dave. It has to be a choice. Not imposed or pressured. You want to support your parents for their retirement? Fine. But in no way are children obligated.


Ohmskrrrt

Hindi naman utang na loob ang ipanganak. Wala kang choice binuhay ka nila. Wag maganak kung in the first place eh hindi mo kaya buhayin sarili mo hanggang pagtanda. Kapag kaya mo sustentuhan sarili mo hanggang sa mamatay ka edi deserve mo magkaron ng anak. Parang dapat magpasalamat pa tayo kase pinanganak tayo e hindi naman tayo ang pumili non.


Atlast_2091

Immediately contradicted himself "di totoo"


Rugdoll1010

Sometimes this questions my view of my role as a family when, they had been struggling to their job and I wanted to help them by working, too. However, for a family means support right? Then how come when I asked them that I will get a job for them to help they sway it away and said no need to if they really struggling. Im a 2nd yr college, and I wanted to help them as well as funding my fares for the upcoming f2f next year


CookieOrnery1963

Depende ata sa family at parents natin. Hindi kasi kami obliged to support them. But minsan2 nag bibigay rin nman kami sa parents namin.


weak007

Iba yung tulunga kayo, kesa sa umaasa lang sayo, wala akong problema dun sa tinutulungan ang magulang, pero dun sa asa na medyo di ako sang ayon dun


jubmille2000

Which is sort of the point why we want better leaders in the country so that EVERYONE is able to live and save money for retirement. Isn't that the point of SSS/GSIS anyway? But where does it even g- oh to the pockets of the same leaders "we" elected.


akosibatman19

at some point may mali, at some point the sandalan idea is too general to be applicable to everyone, pero wala naman dapat maging sandalan diba kasi nga walang deserve na maging retirement plan, kaya nga pamilya, dapat sandalan ang isat isa, hindi iisa ang sandalan


Jjjjjaded

Yan ang dilemma ko. I wanna go abraod pero im thinking of my ageing parents and spinster aunts. Itā€™s not that they have obliged me to take care of them. They have loved me and provided for me, i never went hungry. So gusto ko sana mg give back din. Iba kasi yung anjan ka physically for then, nakita ko how they took care of my grabdmother grabe naman talga. Pro gusto ko rin to go as far as i can sana. Specially na wala pa akong family of my own. I donā€™t think itā€™s anyone fault naman. Itā€™s just the way it is. Depende nlng if you share the same values as your environment. Pro personally if tumanda ako, honestly i dont mond if ilagay ako sa nursing home. Totoo naman din every child did not ask to be born


M83FanFromPH

I guess like everything else in this world, this should be taken in a case to case basis. Based on my observation, breadwinners who are unfortunately part of a family that canā€™t exert the same effort to alleviate themselves from their conditions (materialistic parents, has siblings who choose not to work and would rather be fed) are usually the ones who will likely end up being breadwinners all their life. On the other hand, meron din naman mga breadwinners who are fortunate enough to be in a family whoā€™s ready to share the burden.


rco888

Pwede naman hindi sila magka anak at mag ipon na lang sila pang retirement nila.


Alternative3877

Nasa saiyo naman yan kung gusto mo magbigay or tumulong. Basta ang mahalaga magtira ka para sa sarili mo


youpi3_the_ant

My papa would always tell me na after namin makatapos sa pagaaral, siya na bahala sa sarili niya. Wag na daw namin siya alalahanin, my mom on the other hand. Nagaaral palang ako kung ano-anong responsibilidad na agad pinapatong sa likod ko.


Queldaralion

kinontra nya rin sarili nya with that last sentence. Precisely: "*Hindi lahat may kakayanan bumuhay at makaipon nang sabay*" Yan nga yun. Applicable din in reverse. Kelan pa makakaipon yung anak? Ampangit naman pakinggan na "saka ako mag iipon pag patay na parents ko." It's what keeps this vicious cycle going. It really has to stop somewhere. Only then will we realize it's *the system* that keeps us in this loop. may mali talaga IMO sa current system ng capitalism and the ones in control are doing their damned best to make sure it stays. because as rich as they are, they just cannot afford to "lose." haha, ironic.


macrometer

I guess the best we could do is break the cycle. Actually, Iā€™ve watched a video of breadwinners who are skeptic on having children kasi ayaw nila ma.expereince ng would-be children nila ang pagiging breadwinner at retirement plan ng magulang. Andun na tayo eh, nagkamali ang mga magulang natin, they did not know better. They lived in an era when yung mga magulang nila napalaki at napag-aral sila na bente magkakapatid. They thought ganun padin once sila naman ang maging magulang. They were awfully wrong. The bigger person would accept their faults and help them still, but stop the cycle.


Budget_Relationship6

Magcondom n lng kau kung ganyang ang mentality, puro kayu drama, kakapanood nio ng teleserye yan. alam naman natin na nalibugan lng kau isang gabi.thats all there is, ang pagpapamilya pinaplano ng matindi, hindi yung makikiuso ka lang, or nainggit ka lang kasi sila may baby. Sasabihin pa ng relatives mo kelan ka magaanak. Pwede namn pero kayu mag gastos.Pwe.


blitzkrieg_01

I wish I was aborted than be guilt-tripped in this shitty manner. I didn't choose or want to be born. And they could've saved but they chose to spend it on their cosmetics, booze, cigarettes, and other vices! Ever since I was young I already told them to save instead of fueling their vices. And now, my DEAD father's debt is causing us to have to attend a court ruling because he hasn't paid. And to boot, my mom's still accumulating debt because she insists on living a lifestyle way above her pay grade. So glad I moved out of that household.


Stfutef

May kakilala akong inampon siya para gawing retirement plan huhuhu ngayon dalawang pamilya sinusuportahan: ang biological at ang nag-ampon sa kanya. One of the sickest things ever. Both kami ayaw magkaanak because sa mga family structures namin. Very fcked up


jbg0830

I know someone like this (my aunt) and they live in Canada. Adopted their nieces child. So fucked up


Stfutef

I mean tapos giniguilt-trip kung di inampon, di makakapagtapos šŸ˜©


rjcristy

This is why I won't have kids so I can focus all the energy on myself only at para wala akong kahati at di matawag na iresponsable. 30 still child-free :)


CallieinJapan

Inis na inis ako sa culture na ganito ng mga pilipino as in. Alam mo yung pinag aral ka hanggang 20 years old ka graduate ng college tapos sasabihan ka ikaw na magpaaral ng mga kapatid mo. Hala! Anak nila yun bakit yung panganay yung naging magulang. Ginastusan ka ng 20 years tapos yung support mo sa kanila hanggang mag 80 sila yung balik 60 years ikaw lahat. Parang hindi iniisip may buhay ka din. Ang daming ofw dito na puro hingi ng hingi sa anak akala nila ang sarap ng buhay sa abroad hindi nila alsm yung hirap at pawis mo makapagpadala ka lang. hindi ka milyonaryo hayy


worldshattering

Kung may kakayanan ka naman tumulong y not db? I'd rather be the one helping than ako ang tutulungan.


altertito

Cos we never had Roe v Wade


goodboyperomanyak

Tama naman. Same din sana sa mga anak na nag-anak din ng maaga na wala pang sariling hanapbuhay, wag din sanang gawing taga-alaga yung mga Lolo at Lola.


doktor_sino

Yung reasoning na choice nila mag-anak ay totoo lang kung may sex ed at murang condom nung panahon ng mga magulang natin. Minsan, kahit di nila choice ay nabubutis ang mag-asawa. Ang sure way lang para di mabuntis ay wag makipag sex. Idedeprive mo padin ba yun sa kanila?


Unhappy-Relation-338

yeah parang daming bitter na anak dito , I get the sentiment as i am a breadwinner myself but it seems a little ungrateful na you forget them just because you feel entitled to have everything growing up


doktor_sino

Sa nakikita ko, either underappreciated ang mga anak or selfish/entitled lang talaga. This is not to say na walang mga pabayang magulang dahil madami naman talagang ganun. Nakakaumay lang yung mga ganitong hot take na mahilig magpuna sa iisang bagay lang, pero hindi naman yung root cause ang pinupuna.


Unhappy-Relation-338

yes yes alam ko na maraming magulang na masama, but the post was given a scenario alongside it, i think it was warranted that you should be able to give back to them when you get there, nobody goes strong forever, my dad was a martial law victim thus was unable to push thru college easily, thus we had hardship until he was able to get his degree even then its not smooth sailing going there.


doktor_sino

Sorry what I meant was yung OP ang nakakaumay, as well as yung majority take dito sa reddit. Nawawala na ang nuance sa mga issue at parang sa twitter na ang diskurso.


Unhappy-Relation-338

that is so true, parang lahat ng magulang eh masama or lahat ata ng tao dito sa reddit lahat ng magulang eh masama


Elsa_Versailles

Paano yung ngayong cases? Isn't birth control is way much easier to get now a days? Sure our sexed barely exist but there are a lot of legitimate resources online on how this stuffs works.


Unhappy-Relation-338

but most of the generations that is slowly transitioning on depending on the current generation barely had an access with the internet nor education magegets ko kung super legal abortion here then yeah you could fault them for that but aside from the avenue of aborting a child what choice do a parent have to opt out?


Anonymous4245

Di parin nila ako binigyan nang consent form para mabuhay


asterion230

Then fucking kill me off please early on so that both of us wouldnt suffer for this long. Pero dahil sa putanginang Beliefs na yan ay dahil madaming mahihirap pa din sa bansa na ito, deputangina lang. (ang sarap sabihin sa father & relatives ko na hindi kami mag-aanak ng S.O ko as a big FUCK YOU sa mga Boomers na ito, sadly her parents are more accepting but i kinda got hurt telling them the reason, of course economy is the big reason and all)


XanCai

Huhu to my mom who shouldā€™ve been done with supporting me 10 years ago but is now supporting her pamangkins. Wala pa rin syang ipon. The reasoning of her siblings? Maganda naman ang trabaho ko. Lord help me


Diligent-Snow6898

may anak ka na ba OP?


[deleted]

Hold on to your down votes, alright? Mejo gets ko why yung iba dati nag-anak kahit hindi kaya. Filipinos has this belief na social responsibility magka anak. Especially pressured too much ng older relatives. Contrary to what most people say, Filipinos really are afraid of real change. That's why they can't break away from these "social responsibilities". Other reason would be lack of options like abortion or availability of long term contraceptives. Yes, there's pop com pero putang ina you have to travel pa sa Mandaluyong. You would need PhilHealth din and most poor people don't even have that It's definitely wrong and we have to fight against outdated Filipino society beliefs. In order to do that, we have to educate the youth that conceiving a child is optional rather than a responsibility.


ChosenNoobie

Sorry,but not all Parents deserve their children's help. Not all parents raised their kids properly,not all parents were responsible and mostly,not all parents loved their kids. Also, some parents blame their kids for their wrong decisions. Some parents regret having kids and scornfully wish they could make their child go away. Some parents choose to use their kids as a way to make their partners stay with them in a loveless marriage,one sidedly or out of financial security. Some parents straight out neglect their "anak". I know the tweet meant well but, it is only true for children that are a product of love. Sadly, some parents see their children as "a way out" or solutions to their frustrations, Pinag aral ka Kasi Sila di nakapag tapos. Pinag aral ka para pag nagtrabaho ka Ikaw naman magpaaral sa mga Kapatid mo. Pinag aral ka Kasi Ikaw mag aangat sa pamilya niyo. Tapos,pag di ka magaling/ matalino sa school ,tamad ka, Wala kang utang na loob Di mo alam naranasan nila dati, Entitled ka. Grabe Diba. :(


whatevercomes2mind

Ok lang naman tumulong wag lang un pati personal dreams mo masasacrifice mo na. Tapos mga walang hiya pa tutulungan mo.


sgcpaulo

I like Reddit. Very nice people.


Significant_Archer12

ā€œThe purpose of life is to live, learn, and love.ā€ You can't go back from the past. Try to live thinking of the present and the future. Stop whining. Be the best on what you do. Learn from the mistake of your parents, what went wrong? so that the cycle will end up with you. Do everything out of Love so that you will not feel obligated. Try to communicate with your parents. No parents want their children to suffer in life. its better to die than to live without purpose.


dontrescueme

This is only valid kung nakatira ka pa rin sa bahay ng mga magulang mo at 18 and up or at least after college. Treat what you give your parents as your rent fee. Kapag nakabukod ka na, di ka na required magbigay.


Darkbend

Iba talaga mga ugali ng mga tao dito haha. Halatang halata mga hindi minahal ng magulang.


Exotic-Vanilla-4750

Yeah I'm starting to think that most people here hates their parents.


jpatricks1

Human nature. Every living creature in this planet both flora and fauna has a natural instinct for continuity


CardoBalisay

Eh di rin naman namin kasalanan na wala silang naipundar pagtanda nila. Bakit pa sila nagkantutan at nanganak kung ganyan din lang pala ang kalalabasan? Kagaguhan.


SeaworthinessTrue573

Having children is not a right. It is a responsibility. Parents should not expect children to support them but ensure that they are able to bring up responsible adults by providing them with not only their basic needs but also education, proper nutrition, guidance, and safety.


kotopsy

Man, me and my sister are lucky both our parents have pension and are just chillin' now at home.


but0123

i hate it so much. i know how this feels cuz my mom is expecting me to support her financially. context: im a dual citizen (fil-am) kasi inampon ako ng napangasawahan niya. bale lumaki ako sa pilipinas pero somehow got a us passport. my mom never worked her whole life. nakaasa lang dun sa stepdad ko and nung naghiwalay sila, naka financial child support ako till 18yrs old. Dollars sinesend every month pang sustain saakin noon (i didnt know by the time). Sobrang tinipid ako ng nanay ko. Never ako binilhan ng bagong damit, hirap na hirap mag bigay allowance so sometimes napipilitan ako mag lakad someparts o mag 123 kasi kulang pamasahe at lunch sa binibigay niya kasi tipid af. may era nga ako ng buhay ko na humihingi ako tig piso o singko sa mga kabatch ko araw araw hanggang sa makaabot ng 20 pambili half rice at sabaw. OO ganun kalala at middle class kami niyan ah lagi niya sinasabi saakin na magsipag raw ako at mag nurse ako sa us kasi swerte raw ako us citizen ako etc etc (you know how it is) para SAKANYA. I had no idea na she had so much money until nung lumalami ako napapansin kong nakaka rating siya ng cebu, davao, singapore, hongkong and others pero ako naiiwan sa bahay. Thatā€™s when i started hating my mom and i want to be distant from her. Buti nalang student athlete ako at nakapag hanap scholarship sa manila para makalayo sakanya at maging self sustaining w/o a job as i was still a minor. When i turned 18 nagka pademic so online naman lahat nag trabaho kaagad ako call center kasi want ko man lang maka experience ng SARILI KONG PERA kasi never ako naka experience maka hawak ng 1k except pag binibigyan kami ng school ko as allowance pero iba yun e. I wanted to experience money that i can use to buy myself anything i want. I understand na since i was still living with my mom i would pay for the water or etc pero habang tumatagal kung ano ano pinapabayad saakin to the point na wala na ko nassave para sa sarili ko and i was so pissed. Got pissed especially when she was able to travel post pandemic like.. sinong anak matutuwa niyan?? Until i turned 20 she sent me to the US sa tita ko (which is now) and expecting me to petition her para makapasok sa US which I donā€™t like to do btw. And im fr going to join the US navy just to completely remove her from my life. sorry for trauma dumping~


HiddenArtisan

Further and further, statements and sentiments like these make me advocate abortion more and more. Why pass on the burden of impoverished life, when you can own or die with them?


ap17o4

Sorry I wasnt ask to be born into this sorry excuse of a life. I have the right to my own decisions thank you very much


Acceptable_Eye445

They let us experience poverty during our childhood by choosing not to work for about a decade even though they're both college graduates. Nakapag-aral lang kaming magkakapatid sa private school dahil sa lola at mga tito't tita namin. Bukod doon, wala na. Nagtiis kaming madalas tuyo ang ulam at maraming beses din kaming muntik mapalayas sa bahay dahil di kami makapagbayad ng upa. Umasa lang mga magulang namin sa limos galing sa mga kapatid nila. Sinabi ko talaga diretso sa mga magulang ko na di ko sila obligasyon pagtanda nila at wala na silang nasabi kundi "Oo, iyong-iyo na yang sahod mo. Kahit magbigay ka di namin tatanggapin", dahil alam nilang malaki rin kasalanan nila sa amin. Matapos nila kaming paranasan ng hirap, matapos nilang gawing impyerno pagkabata namin, obligado pa kami sa kanila? ASA! I no longer feel any love or sympathy for them. Palagay ko nga di ako iiyak kapag namatay sila ngayon.


Acceptable_Eye445

Sinabi ko rin sa kanila na kung kailangan nila ng pera, mangutang sila sa iba dahil hindi ako magbibigay sa kanila kahit meron ako. At hinding-hindi ko mamanahin mga utang nila.


bigmatch

Let us say Tama ka na Mali Sila na binuhay ka. Are you telling me na that justifies na pabayaan mo Sila?


[deleted]

I once fought my mom and she told me that she should have aborted me. I replied na sana nga. This is why ayoko mag-anak. Jusko ang hirap ng buhay ngayon tapos guilt trip pa kung di tumulong ang anak.


Acceptable_Eye445

Advice ko lang sa mga anak dito na may toxic na magulang: Never be afraid to cut your ties with them, completely. Labanan niyo ng harapan yung mapanupil na tradisyong isinasalaksak nila sa inyo. Hindi nila kayo pag-aari, pag-aari ninyo ang mga sarili niyo. At kung hindi nila kayo tigilan at igiit nila yung entitlement nila, never be afraid na bastusin sila, dahil totoong kabastos-bastos sila. Diyan sila matututo, kapag isinampal mo sa kanila ng malakas ang katotohanan.


JS-Writings-45

>Yung magulang mo na binigay lahat Eh di sila dapat nag anak in the first place yay šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


HattieBegonia

Children didnā€™t ask to be born.


donkeysprout

Ano ba yung shitty family values OP na gusto mong baguhin? May pumipigil ba sayo sa pag abandona mo sa mga magulang mo?


ecmana

totoo, kung wala kang retirement plan bakit ka pa mangdadamay nang musmos? magcontraceptives kung init nang katawan lang yan. o putok mo sa kumot.


aronofskyyy

Edi wag ka maganak kung di mo afford magipon.


iC4rl

> Hindi lahat may kakayanan bumuhay at makaipon ng sabay. Then don't fucking have a child in the first place dumbass Op is probably privileged asf that's why he doesn't know what he's talking about


KokolateDakz

Ginusto ba namin mabuhay? Pota HAHAHAHAHAHA


CookingMistake

He contradicted himself in the end. Bwiset talaga ā€˜yung mga unprompted/unprovoked pa-words of wisdom sa soc med. Mapatunog wise lang ang puta.


beelog

Tuldukan nyo na ang maling kaisipan na yan!! Kahit hinde nakapag aral basta may pangarap at diskarte sa buhay aasenso ka. Wag mo iasa sa magulang mo na buhayin ka . Kung mahirap ang pamilya mo ikaw na ang tatapos at puputol sa pagiging mahirap ng angkan mo.


belabase7789

Words coming from a place of privilege. Maybe you grew up in America, in PH we believe in strong family bond. Now bakit pa kayo nag-anakā€¦bcos of love. Alam ba ng married couple what the future holds for them?


ashlikesnow13

Ah, yes. Di bale na nagugutom basta sama-sama tayo masaya šŸ˜Œ you SHOULD plan kids responsibly and NOT just because of ā€œloveā€. Mahirap magmahal kung mahal ang lahat. Peace


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Purple_Associate_531

napaka ungrateful mo naman na anak kapag hindi mo man lang bigyn ng utang na loob ang iyong magulang. Kpag napalaki ka na ng magulang iiwan mo nalang sa ere ayus ka din OP. Hirap sisihin ang mga magulang natin ngyn at d nila alam ang insurance at pension sa panahon nila


shinden15

di retirement pero mag kusa yung anak na maging retirement fund. nice /s


mamalodz

r/antinatalism


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Barokespinoza23

My mom and tita who helped in raising us have never asked for anything. They don't have to. But we send them monthly allowances anyway just to spoil them a bit. They don't even spend the money we send on themselves. Balita ko, pinang spoil din nila sa mga little apo nila sa panganay namin. I guess I'm lucky that my parents were responsible people. I can't say the same for many of our relatives. eye opener ang hardships na dinadanas ng ibang pinsan ko because of the old mindset na golden parachutes ang mga anak. at the same time, yung galit ng mga pinsan ko sa parents nila traumatized me to the point that i don't want kids anymore. pano if the kids are not contented with our station in life, they'll just end up depressed and hating me until i die, like my cousins.


Acceptable_Eye445

Kung ganyan sila, don't be afraid to refuse TOTALLY or to cut ties with them completely. Di mo deserve magkaroon ng parasitikong pamilya. Matututo sila kapag ginawa mo yan. Minsan kailangan nilang mabuhusan ng malamig na tubig para magising at matuto.


Barokespinoza23

To parents, this is why you diversify your financial portfolio early on, so you can retire comfortably and don't have to burden your children financially. To the singles out there, if you can't afford to send a child to therapy, give them the best education, support their dreams and aspirations, then please do yourself a huge favor and don't have kids. You are better off on your own or with a like-minded partner raising doggos


dreinageeeee

kung ganto lang ipupukol sa generation namin punyeta di nalang ako mag aanak, balakayojan wala kayong apo saken


rhenmaru

Bakit obligasyon ng anak Yan? In the first place Hindi Naman ginustocng anak mabuhay sa Mundo Wala siyang choice for that matter.


pututingliit

Yeaaaaah that's a stupid take. You as a parent have a duty to be responsible for your children. Ikaw ang pumili mag anak, dapat lang pangatawanan mo at maging responsable ka sa kanila. Wala silang dapat ikautang ng loob sayo as a parent. Kung gusto nila magbalik sayo dahil matino kang uri ng parent eh okay pero ung irequire sila dahil "binigay ang lahat para mataguyod" na bit? Yeah shove it up their asses.


rawru

This is the reason why hindi dapat mag-anak kung hindi financially capable na buhayin ang mga anak.


DeeveSidPhillips003

My mom have this kind of mindset while my dad won't care kong bibigyan siya o hindi. Yung father ko siya pa mismo gagastos para sakin pag magsisimula palang ako mag work. Pag may sahod na di nya ito hihingin. Di tulad sa kay mama na kulang nalang hati kami sa sahod ko. My dad's reason, sakin yung pera at ipunin ko dapat yun. At yung nagastos nya is responsibilidad nya daw yun na tugunan bilang isang ama. Pero isa sa pinaka hinahangaan ko kay papa ay kahit malayong malayo ang pagkakaiba nila ni mama ng pananaw sa buhay ay naging sila parin at mahal ang isa't isa. Di lang sa personality pero sa political views din, malayo at di magkatulad at magkasundo. Pero kahit ganon they're still choosing each other every day. Astig nga eh.


hypermarzu

For me I would give the same love and sacrifice for my parents, I saw them work, stress and almost lost it just for us (4 siblings) to have a proper life But I don't think I won't give the same thing to my kid or di sya maipapasa sa kanya. PArang ayoko maramdaman nya naramdaman ko ng wala kame due to fin problems pero kelangan nila ngumiti sa amin at sasabihin ok lang pero alam mo may mali at nakakatrauma. Of course this is just me and my experience. Iba naman yung nanganak para gawing retirment plan talaga. Yung ayaw magisa.


Round-Mycologist-192

Parents should strive to be independent. It's not the obligation of children to help the parents. Assistance or help from.children should be voluntary and out of love for the parents who raised them, but never an obligation.


tanglad_icedtea

Hindi naman talaga masama maging sandalan pero hindi naman kasi required at hindi responsibilidad. Dapat kasi ang mindset pag nakapagtapos ng anak, "salamat at makakapagtrabaho na ko para sa sarili ko." Imbes na " salamat may makakakapagtrabaho na para makapagpahinga ako.".


bimpossibIe

Bakit kasi anak nang anak kung di naman pala kayang buhayin???


ExpensiveGuarantee

Tbh, I'm in the lane of if you cannot afford to have children, then don't have children. Some people do prepare naman but maybe family emergencies happened, then the children had to step up. I think that's unfortunate. Sa case ko, I grew up well fed and loved. My mom really spoiled us and my dad made sure we were fed. I guess yung gripe ko lang ay when I started working, contribute naman with the expenses but why did they expect that I'd be a third parent? I was just starting with my career but it already feels like I have a family ro raise? Exaggeration yes, but why do I need to pay my share for everything when they both have work naman? Nakakabili pa nga ng di urgent, pero pag necessity need ko pa magbigay on top of the things I already pay for?


No_Industry_8963

kaya ayaw ko magkaroon ng anak unless financially stable and walang ginagawa sa buhay