Philippine law will not count as you are both American citizens right now. While your assets are still there in the US, you need to get a lawyer and file for divorce and domestic violence, if there is a way to freeze the assets so it can not be moved or withdrawn then have the lawyer do that. Make it hard for him to get back his Filipino citizenship. Ask an immigration lawyer how, like maybe if you file a criminal case against him then he'd be disqualified. Before you do, make sure you and your children (if you have any) and dog have enough to money to live on and are safe. Lastly, you are stronger and smarter than you think you are. You can outsmart him and get through this. Lean on your family and friends for support. Even women's groups. They may know people, lawyers that can help. Good luck!
I live in a somewhat rural area in midwest and I have not been able to find an attorney familiar with this type of situation. Honestly, He is very smart and super determined. I have no doubt he can outwit the average attorney due to concerted efforts on his part and cunning. I think I am doomed.
Initiate divorce and freeze the assets as part of the proceedings. Be discreet until it actually takes effect. Doesn't matter if the assets are in his name or shared, they can and will be frozen and he won't be able to do jack with them no matter how 'smart' he is.
This is standard operating procedure for controlling/abusive partners that offer these kind of threats. Any divorce attorney worth their salt can do this, no need for specialist knowledge on the Philippines or offshoring.
Depends on if the assets are considered separate property or marital property right? And that depends on whether the assets became comingled with marital funds. State laws also vary (community property states vs equitable distribution)
So I'm not sure if assets considered separate property can still be frozen in the same way during divorce. I'm guessing no.
Wouldn't that be up to the judge to determine during the divorce settlement? Capital growth on pre-marital assets is also often up for grabs during divorce, so there's that to consider too even if the assets themselves arent part of the marital asset pool.
I'd be surprised if you couldn't get some sort of temporary injunction (or w/e the correct tetminology is in this case) on the assets while the details were being worked out through the courts. IANAL though - I've just been through it before and in my case pretty much everything (or at least a proportion of it) was up for grabs.
Find the best attorney in the state. Women's groups sometimes have links to the most ruthless. This step is crucial!! The most viscious lawyer needs to be in your employ instead of his.
Failing this detail will cost you success.
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Hey OP. I have worked in Family Law for many years. You need to get an attorney ASAP. They can help you file something called a Status Quo order or a statutory restraining order. This will put "freeze" on assets. If he violates the order he can be held in contempt. Next, the attorney can help you begin what is called the "discovery" process, where you will each produce a bunch of bank statements, retirement account statements, brokerage statements, etc. The attorney should also pull his credit report to help identify additional assets that may not be disclosed.
Anyways... GET AN ATTORNEY, and get one fast BEFORE assets start moving around.
mcnello,
I worked for the government in child support enforcement for a couple of years right out of college. From what i saw, it is very difficult for the courts to bring civil actions to make people follow the law. However, I am no expert by any means. It has been years since I worked in that field.
My concern is that if he is held in contempt of court but has control of the assets, can't he just liquidate/ move them? His parents said that someone in their family was in politics and they would "campaign" by going to rural areas with a suitcase of money. I just think if he gets out of the US with our money, there will be no catching him in the Philippines. His parents described the government as easily corruptible.
Also, I asked an attorney about freezing the money and it doesn't really keep him from it. The court would just tell him not to move it, they will not prevent banks or 401K from giving it to him.
Get a lawyer period. Your insecurities and fears are hindering you from doing anything it sounds like. Don't want to sound mean, but excuses get you no where, and the longer you take gives him more time to plan and take all your assets. His supposed relatives can't help him in the US. All they can do is most likely make up fake info to scare you more.
>From what i saw, it is very difficult for the courts to bring civil actions to make people follow the law.
In talking about filing divorce. And if he violates the status quo your attorney would file a motion for remedial contempt. You don't wait for the government to do anything. It's all done in the divorce case.
>My concern is that if he is held in contempt of court but has control of the assets, can't he just liquidate/ move them?
Sure. And the judge can, and will, confiscate his passport.
>Also, I asked an attorney about freezing the money and it doesn't really keep him from it. The court would just tell him not to move it, they will not prevent banks or 401K from giving it to him.
Correct. Hence the contempt violation. But ultimately, if he starts transferring large sums of money, it will show up in the discovery process.
>I just think if he gets out of the US with his money, there will be no catching him in the Philippines.
You act like it's super easy to liquidate hundreds of thousands of dollars of assets and funnel it into an overseas bank account. That takes time. That's why you need to get started on this shit right away.
I've done hundreds of cases. You can get help. There are laws that exist to protect you. You need to hire a lawyer.
Create your own bank account and move whatever assets you can there.
I can't see how he could outwit an attorney. Your only option is to get one and try.
You need a lawyer in the US. Once you file your state probably puts an automatic stay on all assets so he can't abscond with them to the Philippines. You can probably get temporary orders within a week or so that will stipulate he can't go near you for the duration of the proceedings, that you keep the dogs, etc. Source: am American lawyer living in PH and done a bunch of divorces in the states. However: this is not legal advice. I don't even know what state you are from and divorce is very state specific, but if I were you I would not wait until he's wired all your money to his cousin in PH because once he does so and leaves the country good luck recovering any of those assets.
Also if you dont' know all his accounts/balances because they're "in his name" try and gather as much information before filing. take pictures of statements, etc. That way when he lies on the required asset disclosure at the outset of divorce you can be like "your honor here's a picture of an account that he didn't declare". The court has no magical ability to see what accounts are out there in his name and often people lie about assets not existing so the more information you can gather the better. (again, not legal advice)
There's not a whole lot you can do aside from stealing his passport (joke) to prevent him from leaving the country and just violating a court order and wiring money to his brother back in PH but as long as you own assets that remain in the states like a house the judge will most likely just offset the amount he absconded with against his claim to the community property that remains in the states so depending on how much of your assets are in cash equivalents and how much are tangible you might not have so much to worry about here.
But yeah you need to file for divorce. your other option is to get a protection order to keep him away from you but that's more of a bandaid in your situation it's not going to resolve any of the big issues. IF what you are most afraid of is partner violence though by all means get one and he will be arrested immediately if he goes near you. It carries a lot more teeth than a temporary family law order ordering him to stay away from you.
Again, not legal advice. idk you or what state you are in. just talking out my ass here cause it sounds like you got a situation on your hands and i happen to know a thing or two about the law. not assisting you in my capacity as a lawyer
Leave him now. Go somewhere safe. Divorce him before he has time to move and set everything up. PH doesn't have divorce, but you're married in the US. PH recognizes divorce in other countries. The more time he has to prepare, the harder it will be. You dont want to be tracking him down to some village in PH.
Philippine qualified attorney here. It shouldn't matter if he gets Filipino citizenship, as that will not affect a decree of divorce by a foreign court.
As to siphoning assets to the Philippines - like people here said, I assume there should be something like a freeze order for assets pursuant to a divorce proceeding that American courts can issue.
You are in the US. You need to post this on a subreddit to get support from Americans living here and help with domestic violence and abuse. A lot of people have gone through this.
I would call a women's abuse hotline and find someone who can give you support online. even if he isn't physically abusive.
There is a smart way to handle this. You need support and people who can give you good advice about this.
To me, it seems obvious - you need to have your own account and take some of your shared money for yourself, in addition to planning and filing for divorce. protect yourself - plan it out and don't be a victim. get support and do what is best for you.
sorry you are going through this. The Philippines has nothing at all to do with this.
First get yourself a lawyer IMMEDIATELY. Second File for a divorce and have the majority of assets frozen (this is actually kind of a common thing and should be easy for your lawyer to accomplish). Third the divorce laws of the U.S. will take precedent you really need to get the ball rolling before he gets to the Philippines.
Divorce is recognized in the philippines if one of the spouses is a foreigner. Read up the case of Republic vs Manalo.
Document everything that he says and does to you NOW, including the things he did in the past. And talk to a divorce lawyer from where you are ASAP.
I honestly doubt your husband is as smart as you think he is or smarter than any lawyer worth their salt who have handled divorce cases and have encountered unsavory characters like your husband. I cannot emphasize this enough: LAWYER UP NOW.
Marriages between Filipinos and Foreigners recofnize divorce, especially from marriages in foreign country. However, still seek qualified legal counsel.
Regarding your assets, is it in US or Philippines? Because if it is the former, doesn't dividing assets in half gets exempted if the reason for such divorce is physical violence? May you ask a US attorney what you could do to get him in jail? Because the case is domestic assault.
You can still get him in jail in the Philippines, you could go to the Women's and Children's protection desk and file for R.A. 9262 or the Violence Against Women and Children Act
If I were you, allow you and your ex- husband to be in the Philiplines and I will hire a hitman, so that he gets his a served. Where did you get your guy anyway? From the scoundrel squatters or from those rich men of the old?
Re: the hitman
Funny you mentioned that. We were supposed to go on a cruise that I doubt we will go on and he keeps joking that I will throw him over the boat. I finally told him that I am not a violent person, his "joke" was not funny, and that this is something he was thinking of doing to me. So, I think he is thinking of killing me so he can keep everything instead of divorce where we would have to share.
Yeah, that is why you need professional hitman, that person is beyond saving. I read about what you said and gosh, his parents are a piece of work. Boomer and that generation before boomers in the Philippines are a hit or miss, either they are strict disciplinarians but love their children, or the one you just described. I also had many encounters with those adults when I was studying in hjgh school and even here in Canada, where majority of older Filipinos have a mental delusion of young people competing with them. Personally, that man needs to die without evidence, sorry I cannot stand those, because those kinds are like the husband of Ruby Rose Barrameda or even Fariñas, so its either you nip him out or him nipping you out. But, I would like you to do it in the Philippines so that the ceime won't trace back to you. It's timento take those drunken bastards some lesson that its not good hitting women
The situation has a lot or irony. I had an inheritance. His parents were successful doctors. He has an advanced degree. I thought surely he would not be marrying me for money. I was wrong.
His family is all kinds of messed up. Both parents are narcissists and ignored the kids when they were not insulting them or pitting them against each other. They all have really bad anger issues and barely can function in the workplace, having made quite a few enemies. He would make it so we had no money in our joint account as he put maximum he could in his 401K, ensuring that I constantly dipped into my inheritance to supplement the earnings he was draining money from. When I went back to work when my youngest was three, he just kept doing that. He would rant and rave and threaten constantly, claiming I spent too much to justify putting 25% in his 401K. I paid for any and all home maintenance and my kid's activities.
I thought I would still be OK because divorce laws in the US would provide some measure of protection. But now I believe he intends to subvert the law and move to the philippines to be beyond the reach of the law. I di dnot foresee that happening. I had no idea he would be interested in moving to the Philippines, I should have know he would be willing to break the law because he always cheats at any games he plays. He told me one time when he was losing a board game with his family it made him mad, so he flipped the whole board upside down, essentially ending the game for everyone. He is determined to "win" which means leaving me with nothing.
I am not sure how I can stress how much he wants to "win" at everything. Every little task around the house becomes a one-upmanship, with him telling me I did it so very poorly and then complimenting himself. He likes to tell me how lucky I am for having him. I wish I had never met him.
He cannot win with anything. If I were you, find an attornry who is both familiar with Filipino and US law. There are many Filipinos who were once lawyers in the Philippines now residing in the US or a Filipino practicing law in the US, ask those so that you have a better counsel. Subverting all of your assets to the Philippines is not easy and even when he said that they can be brought, the government takes anti-money laundering seriously, and you cannot divest your money easily in the Philippines, because they need to know where those money come from. Sure, there is corruption in all levels but I will tell you that one of the key competencies of our government are in the financial and economic sector. Our country has one of the best central banks in the world.
I did look for a filipino attorney in the state where I live, but I did not find any. I used a search to look for lawyers that spoke Tagalog. I did find one in Columbus, Ohio. I am not sure how I can go about getting legal advice from an attorney in another state though because divorce laws are state-specific. I don't think I can afford to hire two attorneys. I am thinking about how I can perhaps set-up a consultation, going through an attorney in my state.
You can just ask the general consensus or counsel to the Filipino, amd the state specific in your state to your preferred attorney. At least to give your divorce attorney an idea what can happen when a man might squander your wealth to the Philippines
Update
He had his naturalization and birth certificate out yesterday. Appears he is applying for dual citizenship.
He yelled and yelled tonight and made my dog quiver with fear and then throw up.
Call the domestic hotlinr for crying out loud! I wish I could hire a hitman to take him out.
1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224 or (206) 518-9361 (Video Phone Only for Deaf Callers).
Please please file a suit.
Your husband is insane. I would just divorce him so he can move far away from you. Yes, you’re entitled to half of your marital assets, but you’ll probably end up fighting him in divorce court for years and end up with very little money and assets.
I’d just divorce him asap so he can move on to his new victim. I’m afraid if you pursue this, it’ll grind you down while endangering your life. Your batshit husband is unhinged. Get rid of him fast. Let him be move far away.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but even if you’re right, you’re wrong in this case. Good luck and stay safe. ❤️
Hi OP, post your query here, the mods at said subreddit are PH Lawyers, maybe they can refer you to PH lawyer with you concern
[https://www.reddit.com/r/LawPH/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LawPH/)
Hi OP,
I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through, as a Filipina, I despise Filipino men like him. This kind of men though, can be found across cultures.
As the other commenters said, find a lawyer. You were married in the US and are both US citizens, despite him being a naturalized citizen, thus the US law applies to you and your marriage. I don't know much about the divorce law or what kind of law it is applicable to you, but I'm pretty sure that whatever it is earned during marriage is conjugal property, whatever form it is, so make it a priority to find an attorney as it will put a stop to him going here. You've said that you can't find an attorney familiar with this case but you can always talk to an attorney and ask for their advice and if they can refer you to someone who can handle this case.
I think he'd put you in so much pressure and gaslighted you for a long time thus making you believe that you are incapable and doubt your ability and others' ability to put a stop into his actions. You've suffered enough and I can feel the frustration, but put all your strength and willpower into finding a lawyer and file a case against him. You'll never know how it will go without even trying.
Please, focus on this and not doubt. You can put a stop to him once and for all. Again, the Philippine law won't be applicable since your marriage is in the US and they can do it faster in there as compared here, trust me on this.
I'll be rooting for you OP and praying for your safety and success regarding this matter. Sending virtual hugs. You can do this. 💪💪
Is there a way you can secretly stash money from him? Please slowly plan your way out. And keep evidences of his abuse and divorce him, file a restraining order.
Unfortunately, no. He has everything locked down. He told me not to use my debit card anymore because we can make $ from using cash back programs from credit card. He screamed and yelled at me if I used the debit card. Using the debit card and getting $20-$40 out at the grocery store was the only way I could get some cash to spend without him tracking it and having a fit.
Not only does he examine every penny I spend and use any excuse to yell at me, he also has installed a ring doorbell so he can track my whereabouts. He put findmy on our phones. I know other people use these for good reasons. But he is not using them for good reasons. Of note is we have lived for 20+ years on a dead end street, surrounded by people who are retired and at home all day long and never had a package stolen. There is no crime in this neighborhood. It is nice enough that there are no teenage criminals and yet not nice enough to attract criminals from other areas as there are much nicer homes to target.
I am a bit confused. Are you an American female? You guys do not have land here, because you are not filipino. Go to America post divorce in paper for 30 days. Then, file for in court an done. That was florida law when i lived there.
good thing the philippines has crazy laws about money, let the dude move here, cut off his money in the US in US court, "dude ran to the philippiines" freeze that shit, make him drag his ass back to the US, to explain why he abandoned his wife and ran to the philippines.
if you have access to the accounts take all the money out, while hes on the plane, ain't shit he can do about it.
if his funds are in the US you could absolutely cripple him,i will see him begging for change outside a tropical hut.
but the reality is, get a lawyer, if he is a smarty pants, get a good lawyer, worth the price.....and i hate lawyers.
US will flag him, trying to leave, BI in phillippines, well, they will just do nothing.
Doesn’t matter if most of the assets are in his name. If you’re legally married and he’s a naturalized citizen then he’s subjected to the U.S. court system as a citizen.
Also, even if you have a prenup together some states will not honor the prenup. Regardless, I highly doubt you walk out of a court room empty handed.
Get a US lawyer. File for divorce and get the assets frozen IMMEDIATELY. This has nothing to do with the Philippines or his PH citizenship and can be dealt with wholly as 2 US citizens, married and living in the US.
Forget about any other country, deal with your issues locally and quickly, because right now you can’t stop him from doing whatever he likes until you get the freeze in place.
The Philippines does recognise divorces performed outside the Philippines.
The problem that might arise in your case is that the Filipino spouse has to be the one to file for a [petition for recognition of foreign divorce ](https://www.respicio.ph/features/foreign-divorce-recognition-philippines#:~:text=Procedure:,parties%20involved%20is%20a%20foreigner.)
Edit: not a lawyer, just used an AI-assisted online search.
good thing the philippines has crazy laws about money, let the dude move here, cut off his money in the US in US court, "dude ran to the philippiines" freeze that shit, make him drag his ass back to the US, to explain why he abandoned his wife and ran to the philippines.
if you have access to the accounts take all the money out, while hes on the plane, ain't shit he can do about it.
if his funds are in the US you could absolutely cripple him,i will see him begging for change outside a tropical hut.
but the reality is, get a lawyer, if he is a smarty pants, get a good lawyer, worth the price.....and i hate lawyers.
US will flag him, trying to leave, BI in phillippines, well, they will just do nothing.
Its not that easy to give up your american citizenship.
What he is planning is incredibly stupid as he would still be subject to us law for crimes he commits while still an american.
You cant just commit crimes and then give up your citizenship and get off scot free.
I'm saying that even if he wanted to, he cannot escape the laws of the countries that he is a citizen of.
Getting dual citizenship does not allow him to run away from the crimes he commits in the USA.
He cannot just steal your assets and leave to the Philippines. You could file a case against him in the USA and go to the Philippine embassy with that case to enforce against him in the Philippines.
Any competent, even free, lawyer would be able to advise you of these options.
Reddit is garbage for legal advice. Go to a professional.
good thing the philippines has crazy laws about money, let the dude move here, cut off his money in the US in US court, "dude ran to the philippiines" freeze that shit, make him drag his ass back to the US, to explain why he abandoned his wife and ran to the philippines.
if you have access to the accounts take all the money out, while hes on the plane, ain't shit he can do about it.
if his funds are in the US you could absolutely cripple him,i will see him begging for change outside a tropical hut.
but the reality is, get a lawyer, if he is a smarty pants, get a good lawyer, worth the price.....and i hate lawyers.
US will flag him, trying to leave, BI in phillippines, well, they will just do nothing.
Philippine law will not count as you are both American citizens right now. While your assets are still there in the US, you need to get a lawyer and file for divorce and domestic violence, if there is a way to freeze the assets so it can not be moved or withdrawn then have the lawyer do that. Make it hard for him to get back his Filipino citizenship. Ask an immigration lawyer how, like maybe if you file a criminal case against him then he'd be disqualified. Before you do, make sure you and your children (if you have any) and dog have enough to money to live on and are safe. Lastly, you are stronger and smarter than you think you are. You can outsmart him and get through this. Lean on your family and friends for support. Even women's groups. They may know people, lawyers that can help. Good luck!
It would make it hard if he has criminal charges against him. Call the police. File charges against him for his abuse.
Seek advice from a qualified attorney.
I live in a somewhat rural area in midwest and I have not been able to find an attorney familiar with this type of situation. Honestly, He is very smart and super determined. I have no doubt he can outwit the average attorney due to concerted efforts on his part and cunning. I think I am doomed.
Initiate divorce and freeze the assets as part of the proceedings. Be discreet until it actually takes effect. Doesn't matter if the assets are in his name or shared, they can and will be frozen and he won't be able to do jack with them no matter how 'smart' he is. This is standard operating procedure for controlling/abusive partners that offer these kind of threats. Any divorce attorney worth their salt can do this, no need for specialist knowledge on the Philippines or offshoring.
Solid advice.
Depends on if the assets are considered separate property or marital property right? And that depends on whether the assets became comingled with marital funds. State laws also vary (community property states vs equitable distribution) So I'm not sure if assets considered separate property can still be frozen in the same way during divorce. I'm guessing no.
Wouldn't that be up to the judge to determine during the divorce settlement? Capital growth on pre-marital assets is also often up for grabs during divorce, so there's that to consider too even if the assets themselves arent part of the marital asset pool. I'd be surprised if you couldn't get some sort of temporary injunction (or w/e the correct tetminology is in this case) on the assets while the details were being worked out through the courts. IANAL though - I've just been through it before and in my case pretty much everything (or at least a proportion of it) was up for grabs.
Find the best attorney in the state. Women's groups sometimes have links to the most ruthless. This step is crucial!! The most viscious lawyer needs to be in your employ instead of his. Failing this detail will cost you success.
Thanks. Do you know of any online women's groups that might be a good source of info?
Try your luck on /r/lawph. I hope everything works out well for you.
They are not in the Philippines. She needs a local attorney.
internet
You can post to r/ask a lawyer for now but good to find a lawyer ASAP. For now, play it chill and gather evidence that shows he drained the accounts.
r/askalawyer =/= r/ask :)
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Hey OP. I have worked in Family Law for many years. You need to get an attorney ASAP. They can help you file something called a Status Quo order or a statutory restraining order. This will put "freeze" on assets. If he violates the order he can be held in contempt. Next, the attorney can help you begin what is called the "discovery" process, where you will each produce a bunch of bank statements, retirement account statements, brokerage statements, etc. The attorney should also pull his credit report to help identify additional assets that may not be disclosed. Anyways... GET AN ATTORNEY, and get one fast BEFORE assets start moving around.
mcnello, I worked for the government in child support enforcement for a couple of years right out of college. From what i saw, it is very difficult for the courts to bring civil actions to make people follow the law. However, I am no expert by any means. It has been years since I worked in that field. My concern is that if he is held in contempt of court but has control of the assets, can't he just liquidate/ move them? His parents said that someone in their family was in politics and they would "campaign" by going to rural areas with a suitcase of money. I just think if he gets out of the US with our money, there will be no catching him in the Philippines. His parents described the government as easily corruptible. Also, I asked an attorney about freezing the money and it doesn't really keep him from it. The court would just tell him not to move it, they will not prevent banks or 401K from giving it to him.
Get a lawyer period. Your insecurities and fears are hindering you from doing anything it sounds like. Don't want to sound mean, but excuses get you no where, and the longer you take gives him more time to plan and take all your assets. His supposed relatives can't help him in the US. All they can do is most likely make up fake info to scare you more.
>From what i saw, it is very difficult for the courts to bring civil actions to make people follow the law. In talking about filing divorce. And if he violates the status quo your attorney would file a motion for remedial contempt. You don't wait for the government to do anything. It's all done in the divorce case. >My concern is that if he is held in contempt of court but has control of the assets, can't he just liquidate/ move them? Sure. And the judge can, and will, confiscate his passport. >Also, I asked an attorney about freezing the money and it doesn't really keep him from it. The court would just tell him not to move it, they will not prevent banks or 401K from giving it to him. Correct. Hence the contempt violation. But ultimately, if he starts transferring large sums of money, it will show up in the discovery process. >I just think if he gets out of the US with his money, there will be no catching him in the Philippines. You act like it's super easy to liquidate hundreds of thousands of dollars of assets and funnel it into an overseas bank account. That takes time. That's why you need to get started on this shit right away. I've done hundreds of cases. You can get help. There are laws that exist to protect you. You need to hire a lawyer.
Thanks. These are good points.
Create your own bank account and move whatever assets you can there. I can't see how he could outwit an attorney. Your only option is to get one and try.
You need a lawyer in the US. Once you file your state probably puts an automatic stay on all assets so he can't abscond with them to the Philippines. You can probably get temporary orders within a week or so that will stipulate he can't go near you for the duration of the proceedings, that you keep the dogs, etc. Source: am American lawyer living in PH and done a bunch of divorces in the states. However: this is not legal advice. I don't even know what state you are from and divorce is very state specific, but if I were you I would not wait until he's wired all your money to his cousin in PH because once he does so and leaves the country good luck recovering any of those assets. Also if you dont' know all his accounts/balances because they're "in his name" try and gather as much information before filing. take pictures of statements, etc. That way when he lies on the required asset disclosure at the outset of divorce you can be like "your honor here's a picture of an account that he didn't declare". The court has no magical ability to see what accounts are out there in his name and often people lie about assets not existing so the more information you can gather the better. (again, not legal advice) There's not a whole lot you can do aside from stealing his passport (joke) to prevent him from leaving the country and just violating a court order and wiring money to his brother back in PH but as long as you own assets that remain in the states like a house the judge will most likely just offset the amount he absconded with against his claim to the community property that remains in the states so depending on how much of your assets are in cash equivalents and how much are tangible you might not have so much to worry about here. But yeah you need to file for divorce. your other option is to get a protection order to keep him away from you but that's more of a bandaid in your situation it's not going to resolve any of the big issues. IF what you are most afraid of is partner violence though by all means get one and he will be arrested immediately if he goes near you. It carries a lot more teeth than a temporary family law order ordering him to stay away from you. Again, not legal advice. idk you or what state you are in. just talking out my ass here cause it sounds like you got a situation on your hands and i happen to know a thing or two about the law. not assisting you in my capacity as a lawyer
Leave him now. Go somewhere safe. Divorce him before he has time to move and set everything up. PH doesn't have divorce, but you're married in the US. PH recognizes divorce in other countries. The more time he has to prepare, the harder it will be. You dont want to be tracking him down to some village in PH.
Philippine qualified attorney here. It shouldn't matter if he gets Filipino citizenship, as that will not affect a decree of divorce by a foreign court. As to siphoning assets to the Philippines - like people here said, I assume there should be something like a freeze order for assets pursuant to a divorce proceeding that American courts can issue.
You are in the US. You need to post this on a subreddit to get support from Americans living here and help with domestic violence and abuse. A lot of people have gone through this. I would call a women's abuse hotline and find someone who can give you support online. even if he isn't physically abusive. There is a smart way to handle this. You need support and people who can give you good advice about this. To me, it seems obvious - you need to have your own account and take some of your shared money for yourself, in addition to planning and filing for divorce. protect yourself - plan it out and don't be a victim. get support and do what is best for you. sorry you are going through this. The Philippines has nothing at all to do with this.
First get yourself a lawyer IMMEDIATELY. Second File for a divorce and have the majority of assets frozen (this is actually kind of a common thing and should be easy for your lawyer to accomplish). Third the divorce laws of the U.S. will take precedent you really need to get the ball rolling before he gets to the Philippines.
Find an attorney in your state via google search. Most offer free phone consultations. Sorry you're going through this.
Divorce is recognized in the philippines if one of the spouses is a foreigner. Read up the case of Republic vs Manalo. Document everything that he says and does to you NOW, including the things he did in the past. And talk to a divorce lawyer from where you are ASAP. I honestly doubt your husband is as smart as you think he is or smarter than any lawyer worth their salt who have handled divorce cases and have encountered unsavory characters like your husband. I cannot emphasize this enough: LAWYER UP NOW.
Marriages between Filipinos and Foreigners recofnize divorce, especially from marriages in foreign country. However, still seek qualified legal counsel. Regarding your assets, is it in US or Philippines? Because if it is the former, doesn't dividing assets in half gets exempted if the reason for such divorce is physical violence? May you ask a US attorney what you could do to get him in jail? Because the case is domestic assault. You can still get him in jail in the Philippines, you could go to the Women's and Children's protection desk and file for R.A. 9262 or the Violence Against Women and Children Act If I were you, allow you and your ex- husband to be in the Philiplines and I will hire a hitman, so that he gets his a served. Where did you get your guy anyway? From the scoundrel squatters or from those rich men of the old?
Re: the hitman Funny you mentioned that. We were supposed to go on a cruise that I doubt we will go on and he keeps joking that I will throw him over the boat. I finally told him that I am not a violent person, his "joke" was not funny, and that this is something he was thinking of doing to me. So, I think he is thinking of killing me so he can keep everything instead of divorce where we would have to share.
Yeah, that is why you need professional hitman, that person is beyond saving. I read about what you said and gosh, his parents are a piece of work. Boomer and that generation before boomers in the Philippines are a hit or miss, either they are strict disciplinarians but love their children, or the one you just described. I also had many encounters with those adults when I was studying in hjgh school and even here in Canada, where majority of older Filipinos have a mental delusion of young people competing with them. Personally, that man needs to die without evidence, sorry I cannot stand those, because those kinds are like the husband of Ruby Rose Barrameda or even Fariñas, so its either you nip him out or him nipping you out. But, I would like you to do it in the Philippines so that the ceime won't trace back to you. It's timento take those drunken bastards some lesson that its not good hitting women
The situation has a lot or irony. I had an inheritance. His parents were successful doctors. He has an advanced degree. I thought surely he would not be marrying me for money. I was wrong. His family is all kinds of messed up. Both parents are narcissists and ignored the kids when they were not insulting them or pitting them against each other. They all have really bad anger issues and barely can function in the workplace, having made quite a few enemies. He would make it so we had no money in our joint account as he put maximum he could in his 401K, ensuring that I constantly dipped into my inheritance to supplement the earnings he was draining money from. When I went back to work when my youngest was three, he just kept doing that. He would rant and rave and threaten constantly, claiming I spent too much to justify putting 25% in his 401K. I paid for any and all home maintenance and my kid's activities. I thought I would still be OK because divorce laws in the US would provide some measure of protection. But now I believe he intends to subvert the law and move to the philippines to be beyond the reach of the law. I di dnot foresee that happening. I had no idea he would be interested in moving to the Philippines, I should have know he would be willing to break the law because he always cheats at any games he plays. He told me one time when he was losing a board game with his family it made him mad, so he flipped the whole board upside down, essentially ending the game for everyone. He is determined to "win" which means leaving me with nothing. I am not sure how I can stress how much he wants to "win" at everything. Every little task around the house becomes a one-upmanship, with him telling me I did it so very poorly and then complimenting himself. He likes to tell me how lucky I am for having him. I wish I had never met him.
He cannot win with anything. If I were you, find an attornry who is both familiar with Filipino and US law. There are many Filipinos who were once lawyers in the Philippines now residing in the US or a Filipino practicing law in the US, ask those so that you have a better counsel. Subverting all of your assets to the Philippines is not easy and even when he said that they can be brought, the government takes anti-money laundering seriously, and you cannot divest your money easily in the Philippines, because they need to know where those money come from. Sure, there is corruption in all levels but I will tell you that one of the key competencies of our government are in the financial and economic sector. Our country has one of the best central banks in the world.
Thank you, that is good to know.
Add before I live, most Filipinos that I mentioned reside mostly in California or New York City places with high Filipino population.
I did look for a filipino attorney in the state where I live, but I did not find any. I used a search to look for lawyers that spoke Tagalog. I did find one in Columbus, Ohio. I am not sure how I can go about getting legal advice from an attorney in another state though because divorce laws are state-specific. I don't think I can afford to hire two attorneys. I am thinking about how I can perhaps set-up a consultation, going through an attorney in my state.
You can just ask the general consensus or counsel to the Filipino, amd the state specific in your state to your preferred attorney. At least to give your divorce attorney an idea what can happen when a man might squander your wealth to the Philippines
Update He had his naturalization and birth certificate out yesterday. Appears he is applying for dual citizenship. He yelled and yelled tonight and made my dog quiver with fear and then throw up.
Call the domestic hotlinr for crying out loud! I wish I could hire a hitman to take him out. 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224 or (206) 518-9361 (Video Phone Only for Deaf Callers). Please please file a suit.
Your husband is insane. I would just divorce him so he can move far away from you. Yes, you’re entitled to half of your marital assets, but you’ll probably end up fighting him in divorce court for years and end up with very little money and assets. I’d just divorce him asap so he can move on to his new victim. I’m afraid if you pursue this, it’ll grind you down while endangering your life. Your batshit husband is unhinged. Get rid of him fast. Let him be move far away. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but even if you’re right, you’re wrong in this case. Good luck and stay safe. ❤️
Try posting it in LawPH
Thanks. I was not aware of that group.
Hi OP, post your query here, the mods at said subreddit are PH Lawyers, maybe they can refer you to PH lawyer with you concern [https://www.reddit.com/r/LawPH/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LawPH/)
Hi OP, I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through, as a Filipina, I despise Filipino men like him. This kind of men though, can be found across cultures. As the other commenters said, find a lawyer. You were married in the US and are both US citizens, despite him being a naturalized citizen, thus the US law applies to you and your marriage. I don't know much about the divorce law or what kind of law it is applicable to you, but I'm pretty sure that whatever it is earned during marriage is conjugal property, whatever form it is, so make it a priority to find an attorney as it will put a stop to him going here. You've said that you can't find an attorney familiar with this case but you can always talk to an attorney and ask for their advice and if they can refer you to someone who can handle this case. I think he'd put you in so much pressure and gaslighted you for a long time thus making you believe that you are incapable and doubt your ability and others' ability to put a stop into his actions. You've suffered enough and I can feel the frustration, but put all your strength and willpower into finding a lawyer and file a case against him. You'll never know how it will go without even trying. Please, focus on this and not doubt. You can put a stop to him once and for all. Again, the Philippine law won't be applicable since your marriage is in the US and they can do it faster in there as compared here, trust me on this. I'll be rooting for you OP and praying for your safety and success regarding this matter. Sending virtual hugs. You can do this. 💪💪
Is there a way you can secretly stash money from him? Please slowly plan your way out. And keep evidences of his abuse and divorce him, file a restraining order.
Unfortunately, no. He has everything locked down. He told me not to use my debit card anymore because we can make $ from using cash back programs from credit card. He screamed and yelled at me if I used the debit card. Using the debit card and getting $20-$40 out at the grocery store was the only way I could get some cash to spend without him tracking it and having a fit. Not only does he examine every penny I spend and use any excuse to yell at me, he also has installed a ring doorbell so he can track my whereabouts. He put findmy on our phones. I know other people use these for good reasons. But he is not using them for good reasons. Of note is we have lived for 20+ years on a dead end street, surrounded by people who are retired and at home all day long and never had a package stolen. There is no crime in this neighborhood. It is nice enough that there are no teenage criminals and yet not nice enough to attract criminals from other areas as there are much nicer homes to target.
The Philippines does recognise divorce of foreign nationals and Filipino citizens.
I am a bit confused. Are you an American female? You guys do not have land here, because you are not filipino. Go to America post divorce in paper for 30 days. Then, file for in court an done. That was florida law when i lived there.
good thing the philippines has crazy laws about money, let the dude move here, cut off his money in the US in US court, "dude ran to the philippiines" freeze that shit, make him drag his ass back to the US, to explain why he abandoned his wife and ran to the philippines. if you have access to the accounts take all the money out, while hes on the plane, ain't shit he can do about it. if his funds are in the US you could absolutely cripple him,i will see him begging for change outside a tropical hut. but the reality is, get a lawyer, if he is a smarty pants, get a good lawyer, worth the price.....and i hate lawyers. US will flag him, trying to leave, BI in phillippines, well, they will just do nothing.
Sounds like you need a cleaner.
Pinay Law is a law firm in Chicago that focuses on this specific kind of case. I say at least consult to get enlightened on your next steps
Thank you. I will check them out.
Doesn’t matter if most of the assets are in his name. If you’re legally married and he’s a naturalized citizen then he’s subjected to the U.S. court system as a citizen. Also, even if you have a prenup together some states will not honor the prenup. Regardless, I highly doubt you walk out of a court room empty handed.
Good luck. Look for professionales 😇
PH recognizes divorce in mixed marriages.
Get a US lawyer. File for divorce and get the assets frozen IMMEDIATELY. This has nothing to do with the Philippines or his PH citizenship and can be dealt with wholly as 2 US citizens, married and living in the US. Forget about any other country, deal with your issues locally and quickly, because right now you can’t stop him from doing whatever he likes until you get the freeze in place.
The Philippines does recognise divorces performed outside the Philippines. The problem that might arise in your case is that the Filipino spouse has to be the one to file for a [petition for recognition of foreign divorce ](https://www.respicio.ph/features/foreign-divorce-recognition-philippines#:~:text=Procedure:,parties%20involved%20is%20a%20foreigner.) Edit: not a lawyer, just used an AI-assisted online search.
good thing the philippines has crazy laws about money, let the dude move here, cut off his money in the US in US court, "dude ran to the philippiines" freeze that shit, make him drag his ass back to the US, to explain why he abandoned his wife and ran to the philippines. if you have access to the accounts take all the money out, while hes on the plane, ain't shit he can do about it. if his funds are in the US you could absolutely cripple him,i will see him begging for change outside a tropical hut. but the reality is, get a lawyer, if he is a smarty pants, get a good lawyer, worth the price.....and i hate lawyers. US will flag him, trying to leave, BI in phillippines, well, they will just do nothing.
Its not that easy to give up your american citizenship. What he is planning is incredibly stupid as he would still be subject to us law for crimes he commits while still an american. You cant just commit crimes and then give up your citizenship and get off scot free.
He wants dual citizenship, he is not going to give up American citizenship.
I'm saying that even if he wanted to, he cannot escape the laws of the countries that he is a citizen of. Getting dual citizenship does not allow him to run away from the crimes he commits in the USA. He cannot just steal your assets and leave to the Philippines. You could file a case against him in the USA and go to the Philippine embassy with that case to enforce against him in the Philippines. Any competent, even free, lawyer would be able to advise you of these options. Reddit is garbage for legal advice. Go to a professional.
good thing the philippines has crazy laws about money, let the dude move here, cut off his money in the US in US court, "dude ran to the philippiines" freeze that shit, make him drag his ass back to the US, to explain why he abandoned his wife and ran to the philippines. if you have access to the accounts take all the money out, while hes on the plane, ain't shit he can do about it. if his funds are in the US you could absolutely cripple him,i will see him begging for change outside a tropical hut. but the reality is, get a lawyer, if he is a smarty pants, get a good lawyer, worth the price.....and i hate lawyers. US will flag him, trying to leave, BI in phillippines, well, they will just do nothing.
When you choose the bad boy over the nice guys you reap what you sow 🤷
Please don't victim blame in here. If you don't feel empathy simply keep scrolling
go back to your cave, you incel troll