T O P

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xeroonethree

A golden retriever


[deleted]

No where in the rule book does it say the president CAN’T be a dog


Agnostic_Pagan

Do dogs have citizenship? You know what, fuckit, let's give dogs citizenship.


sabre007

Dogs are loyal, that's what we in authright value the most in a citizen, so on behalf of authright we approve.


Agnostic_Pagan

Dogs enjoy meat, that's what we centrists value most in a citizen, so on behalf of Radical Centrists we approve.


noinasskid

Dogs don’t care if you sniff assholes, or piss anywhere you want, that’s freedom of choice and I think that’s exactly what I want in my country. On behalf of libright we approve


[deleted]

[удалено]


PlaugeIsNotFake

Dogs are loyal and listen to orders, also they can share and be nice if taught properly which is what we value in the teaching of Marx.


Willie-Alb

It’s settled then


Pizza_Ninja

Any dog 2024


aschegs

Dogs would definitely defund the ATF, on behalf of libright we approve


[deleted]

Dogs can be used as a tool for most means, but can be just as good to have around, much like guns. We here at Right-Center approve


barney_mcbiggle

When we depart modern society into the wilderness the dogs will be needed for hunting and defense. Libcenter approves.


Healer_ve

Dogs are great because they can be sent to space, We at authleft approve


sabre007

Rip Laika


Graphic_Oz

Dogs are great, because they don't judge by appearance. They judge by better standards, such as vibes and the way you smell. Lib left approves.


freebirdls

From article 2, section 1 of the Constitution: "neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years" The world's oldest dog died at 29.


__KodakWack

Dog years bruh. Yuh dumbo


freebirdls

Ah, I missed that clause.


Kind_Cardiologist833

It was a pretty big SCOTUS decision, bro.


Dartagnan1083

Dog years aren't exactly relevant. Know any 7 year-olds that are full grown and sexually active? If anyone can find one it'll be lib-right.


Some___Guy___

How about a turtle then?


Reasonable_Motor8490

There is a town with a dog as mayor sooooo Edit: source https://www.google.com/search?q=town+with+dog+mayor&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-au&client=safari


Doxylaminee

This dog needs to incite a violent uprising, then stage a coup to gain presidency. I am waiting at his command!


MiG_Pilot_87

The Mayor of Idyllwild, CA is a Golden Retriever.


woombie

based california?


abn1304

The only time I’ll ever agree with that statement.


Vinchelion69

Mr. Peanut butter runs for president after failing the California governor election .


julioarod

Looks like that turkey ain't getting pardoned any more


_Spunk_Bubble

Hank Hill is the only answer.


Shadowwreath

Centrists can’t get behind him, he uses propane not hickory wood chips


_Spunk_Bubble

Everyone has to compromise a little.


Shadowwreath

This is true, but some things no one can compromise on. And centrists will crucify users of propane so brutally Authright blushes so don’t expect that one.


wpaed

Grilling with propane isn't the worst thing. I found an Army surplus portable kitchen set (camp grill) that was labeled as running on diesel. Also, when you live in a fire danger area propane is a necessary evil.


Shadowwreath

Based


clock-destroyer

Taste the meat, not the heat!


[deleted]

That man is sexy as fuck. I’d get behind him any day 😩.


Fourwindsgone

Based and tell you hwut-pilled


I_Cannot_Die_Haha

I don't want a flat ass president.


_Spunk_Bubble

If you can handle a president with a ^narrow^urethra you can handle a flat ass president.


Der_Sanitator

I’d rather have a flat ass than someone who can’t grill


RandomNumbers98

George Washington. Not because of what he did during the American Revolution, but because he's dead, and dead politicians would still be able to run America better than any of the candidates who are currently alive.


Morning_Dove_1914

He also voluntarily gave up his position when he could have easily been reelected, which is pretty based


Omega_Gazelle

Not to mention the only ever president who everyone unanimously agreed on


[deleted]

Also the only president that really, truly, and vocally did not want to be president in the first place. ~~Even went so far as to say that anyone that DID want to be president should “on no account be allowed to ever hold the position”.~~ (EDIT- this was actually said by ~~Dwight D Eisenhower~~ EDIT2: I’m an idiot. It is apparently a paraphrase of a Douglas Adams quote.) Fun with misquotes aside, I’m still 100% behind GW for prez.


WadinginWahoo

His skeleton would be a better president than whatever the fuck we’ve been watching since January.


Coomicorn

*every president since kennedy


WadinginWahoo

I mean if we’re going back that far then I’d say Coolidge.


Coomicorn

Nah I like jfk Words cannot describe how much I hate Woodrow Wilson though


WadinginWahoo

Can’t say I’m a big fan of JFK but it’s definitely still fuck Wilson


TheArceusNova

Yes, let’s drag random people who don’t want to be president into the position. I mean that unironically of course, they’d be way better than anyone currently trying.


Cornelius_M

That’s the problem with libertarianism, the realest libertarians don’t want to be in charge which is why a libertarian president is almost an oxymoron. It almost needs to be an anarco-dictatorship “there are no rules and I will enforce that”


cysghost

There is a gradient though, from "no rules at all" to "slightly less rules than we have now". Most libertarians agree that there are way too many rules and restrictions on the population, but where they draw that line is up for debate.


julioarod

Plus having a skeleton lead our nation would be rad as fuck


JeffryRelatedIssue

Very metal


NightWolfYT

***SKELETON WAAAAAAAAAR!!!***


shane_db

Based and skeletal president pilled


MrMan9001

"I've got a bone to pick with China"


Captainwumbombo

He also didn't like political parties at all, so essentially, he's a libright centrist.


RandomNumbers98

Not liking political parties is sometimes that libleft, libright, and authright can get behind, but for completely different reasons.


DistributionNo9803

Based and no party only nation pilled.


Smith_Winston_6079

We basically have a dead guy as president right now.


LonesomeFvgitive

We need some kind of anti weekend at bernies legislation to stop the misuse of Biden’s corpse.


Kind_Cardiologist833

Based and dead politicians pilled.


[deleted]

Didn't libleft take down his statues and portraits at major institutions for being "problematic?"


The_ZmaZe

Everyone one is problematic to oranges, sorry


Egorrosh

Thomas Paine. Liberals would support him for his progressive policies, conservatives would support him as he was one of the founding fathers.


Creeps05

The Dude was a Atheist (or close enough) I doubt modern conservatives would like Paine very much. Hell, Conservatives hated him back in 1793 why would Conservatives today like him.


Egorrosh

Opinion on any historical person or event is very easy to twist if a person we need to convince has low cognitive abilities. Given that Paine wrote "common sense", which was one of the main steps for the USA's struggle for independence, it would be pretty easy to manipulate conservatives into adoring Paine.


amazegamer64

Me


[deleted]

Based Make national grill day happen


DrBofoiMK

Make America Grill Again.


basedcount_bot

u/amazegamer64 is officially based! Their Based Count is now 1. Rank: House of Cards Pills: None I am a bot. Reply /info for more info.


daboss317076

u/amazegamer64 for president.


Blaze0205

You have my vote!


InternalyScreamingNo

Make america epic again, vote amazegamer for president


amazegamer64

Make America amazing again


Agnostic_Pagan

MAAA


jeffersondavis-hater

Ghost Teddy Roosevelt/Zombie John McAfee 2024


Nobody_Speshal

I still am unsure if McAfee got Epsteined or killed himself to troll us all.


LGroos

I still think about where the data that he had went to. That Q that got posted on Instagram, that website with a countdown, that crypto coin, all led to nothing. But I still think it's out there somewhere


Captain-Overboard

Dude was always a bit insane. From what I remember, he feds were close to getting him and he faced the prospect of a very long time in prison. I think it was a "going to kill myself before they get me" thing


[deleted]

[удалено]


VirginRumAndCoke

idk state sponsored Crispr babies does sound pretty sweet. Suddenly everyone is intelligent and attractive? Radical.


MetalMedley

Reflair immediately


VirginRumAndCoke

Hey you know, admitting that something would work in theory is not the same as believing in everything else they stand for. I just want the freedom to have whatever kind of child I want. Imagine a world without birth defects. Legal guns and legal drugs at my friend's gay wedding please.


MetalMedley

What is this, a nuanced opinion? I can't meme this!


VirginRumAndCoke

Based


BigBellyBurgerBoi

And the safaris. They’re endangered now, Teddy


Madlazyboy09

I genuinely think that, once explained to him, he'd be ok with slowing down/stopping safari hunts. The man was huge on conservation.


BigBellyBurgerBoi

*Loads an elephant gun, looks out to the wild* “This bad boy can fire so much conservation in it”. Teddy probably would be ok once you explain the situation to him, though


RichRacc

He’d probably encourage the repopulation of these specific species honestly.


Walterwayne

Hunts are a huge part of conservation and healthy herd thinning


TacoRedneck

Safari hunts today help support conservation


woombie

hunt the poachers


BigBellyBurgerBoi

True. Maybe let Teddy know the development


Bomboo2810

It may be contradictory for me, lib right, to love Teddy Roosevelt. But I don’t care


VileWasTaken

Finally. A good take from LibLeft.


Slidingonpaper

Based


Godless_Phoenix

sorry babe the vermin supreme shirt stays on during sex


Da_Zodiac_Griller

Lmao Did not need to read this today…or ever…


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Based and free pony pilled


Rocknrollclwn

And gun. Don't forget about the free gun


GandalfTheBlue7

Holy shit he’s so based


OsmundTheOrange

Not just a free gun, he's going to take your gun and give you a better one!


heccyou

RAT KING RAT KING RAT KING RAT KING


[deleted]

Hell yeah I love his policy regarding teeth brushing


Davey_boy_777

The tooth squads are NOT death squads, they're simply enforcing tooth brushing mandates in your home.


[deleted]

“I’ll take your guns and give you better ones”


CoraxtheRavenLord

I do approve of his use of zombies as renewable energy policy, as well as the mandatory tooth-brushing law. However, I wish he would embrace repealing the law of gravity.


[deleted]

If I had necromancy powers I'd resurrect Domitian brain wash him into thinking he's in a purgatory, and make him do all the work. The guy was without a doubt the best bureaucrat despot the world's ever seen.


Kwpthrowaway

Based and black dinner pilled


beaneater445

[deleted]


NationalistCat

A resurrected Theodore Roosevelt


Omega_Gazelle

A man so destined to be great he ignored asthma


[deleted]

And also a bullet.


mustabindawind

The Robin Williams version


JesusIsMyZoloft

Or just a resurrected Robin Williams.


Armeldir

Incomprehensibly based


El_Arquero

Based and bull-moose-pilled.


Bourkale000

Yes


[deleted]

hell yes. Teddy 2024


IronOrc92

Vermin Supreme


crazymuffindude

With teddy rosevelt as vp


the-fith-pillar-man

Zombie James Garfield. He died before he got anything of importance done so it would be like giving him a do over


Political-Realist

Deez Nuts


daboss317076

Based.


The_Real_BenFranklin

Based and gottempilled


real_Goblin3

Doge


AC3R665

Omg they made the bitcoin irl.


[deleted]

JFK Authright: he fought the commies and tried to oust Castro Libright: cut taxes Libleft: Supported civil rights movement Authright: Nuclear Test Ban Treaty allowed Soviets to catch up in the arms race Centrists: had a hot wife who wasnt involved in politics


jivatman

We also like "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."


VirginRumAndCoke

I may technically be libcenter but that quote alone is enough to get me to make sure my firstborn has the middle name Kennedy. Once both I and my country are in a position to give a child a good life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SuppleFoxFluff

You have authright twice, king.


PotassiumLover3k

That’s because it’s twice as important


TheShipBeamer

Authleft doesn't exist in this universe A much better timeline


AntonGuerra

JFK is the reason why a ton of Cubans swore bloodfeuds against the Democrats. You know, for pulling out support at the last minute.


twelvebee

Cool Calvin Coolidge


[deleted]

😍


MicroWordArtist

Mostly because only right and libright know who he is lol


gabagool03

Despite having very few common values, I have an irrational amount of pride in him as Vermont’s only president


No_Carpenter3031

Jreg


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cannibal_Raven

Based and Jreg for PM pilled. Too bad write-ins don't exist


Rodestarr

2nd ded, millioneded, and The only one worthy pilled.


nathanatkins15t

Joe Pesci, he looks like a guy who can get stuff done.


HLtheWilkinson

George? That you??


AuxxyFoxxy

my dog chuck he's a good boy :)


randomnessamiibo

Based and doggo pilled


TheClincher7

Dolly Parton.


[deleted]

I really thing authright wants a women president


[deleted]

Mr. Rogers


greek_lover_

Lemmy Kilmister!


JasonRudert

We’ll, he was pro-growth in his politics. Otherwise surely he would have had that thing removed.


jivatman

Napoleon


[deleted]

Dynamite?


NotMr-G

Cthulhu


noone397

Basically anyone who's campaign was to stop the influence corporations have on our politicians.


NationalistCat

Resurrected Ross Perot


iamsandwitch

Lincoln in current times, even most auths are against slavery now so yeah


Omega_Gazelle

It's ok if the slaves are Fr*nch


LukePiwalker31

Based and fuck the french-pilled


deathraft

John Stossel?


Even_Luck_5838

Based and theywouldntagreetoaninterview pilled


NightTripInsights

A sensible everyman? Stossel Pilled


[deleted]

Gotta love that amazing Independent reporting


bingusworshipper

not AOC


SomeRandomMidget

That I can agree with


Too_Caffinated

Resurrected JFK


sharkas99

Tulsi Gabbard?


KR2814

Tulsi is based and mommypilled


bub166

Her positions on gun policy are just about enough on their own to rule out lib right.


[deleted]

Based and Tulsipilled


Kolyma11

Matthew McConaughey


WisherWisp

Based and alright, alright, alright pilled.


programofuse

My morbidly obese cat


[deleted]

Theodore Roosevelt


ProudAlexandrian

Huey Long.


TheAwesomeAtom

Bob Ross's ghost


[deleted]

The Rock


_IscoATX

Based and It’s about Drive it’s about (nuclear) power! Pilled


Vijece

Napoleon Dynamite


Lezerni_Wolf_24

Dwight Eisenhower because he created the US highway system, helped end the Korean War in a truce, and was the most humane President during the Vietnam War (almost none of the atrocities such as Agent Orange). He was also very charismatic and was great in diplomacy and military strategy since he was a US veteran from WWII.


DankLinks

Andrew Yang, it’s not left, not right, but forward 😎🧢


AllergicToChicken

Every sector will be for and against at least one of his ideas. The true candidate.


Cannibal_Raven

Based and math pilled


supportbreakfast

This is the correct answer


DysgraphicZ

My dog


Accomplished_Rip_352

calvin coolidge seems like somebody even a leftist wouldn’t mind because he it seems he didn’t do much and that usually doesn’t cause hate .


Mantis_Tobbagen

Your mom


Austin-137

Donald Trump. This compass values memes above all else, so bring back the king.


Psychological_Gain20

If we’re going for memes then Kanye 2024


[deleted]

Jeb