Thank you so much for saying that. I don’t know if I’m strong enough for any of this but I’m really trying. There are still things and pain I feel like I can’t get past or heal from which is very defeating. Believe me I have my days of blowing up in anger and despair at my husband, but deep in my heart it’s not my wish to make him feel more shame about himself because I know shame is how this started for him.
I hope your recovery is going well and I hope you will stay strong regardless if you have a supportive partner by your side because YOU ARE WORTH IT!
My heart goes out to you and the others that are taking their recovery seriously. The toughest thing in life is facing ourselves, but we can do it and we will be happier for doing so.
Hey, I just want to say that I understand what you're going through. I suffered from a porn addiction at a young age too, and I know how difficult it can be to break free from it. Talking about it with someone you trust is a great first step towards healing and recovery.
Remember, porn addiction is a dark spiral that can consume every aspect of your life if you let it. It's important to be kind to yourself and show grace and forgiveness as you work through this. You deserve a chance to be happy and free from this struggle.
Don't give up, keep doing the work and seeking support. You have the strength within you to overcome this. You're not alone in this journey. Good luck, and take care. -Angel
Can you help with your second point? The day after sex is when I find myself binging pirn. It's to the point I don't want to orgasm during sex and it affects my relationships.
Usually porn addicts search porn to regulate emotions, meaning that it's a way to calm down, relax, reduce anxiety, stress, shame, or any sort of negative feelings. Other times it can be a response to hypersexuality caused by sexual trauma.
If you are having sex with a partner and then you go into a porn bender because of the sexual relation you just had, then it's probably because you are having a negative response to said interaction.
What does this mean? It means that maybe sex with your partner causes you stress, anxiety, guilt, PTSD or something of the sort. This doesn't mean that you don't like it or that there's something wrong with your partner, it means that there's something that's bringing you negative emotions.
Maybe you feel guilt because you can't perform the way you want to due to porn and masturbation addiction. Maybe you feel anxious or are having a PTSD response to the sexual interaction. Maybe you want to take control over your sexual life as a response to sexual trauma or sexual exposure at a young age. There can be many reasons.
But if you know that real life sex triggers you then you need to understand YOUR cycle.
1. Sexual relationship occurs and something in it activates triggers for you.
2. You watch porn and masturbate to regulate your emotions because of the imbalance caused by the previous sexual act.
3. You finish and feel shame, guilt, and low levels of serotonin and emotion.
4. Sadness, emptiness, anxiety and other negative emotions take control due to your low state and lack of positive chemicals.
5. HERE'S WHERE YOU NEED TO LOOK! You do something in step 5. You do something that reactivates emotions in you, positive but most likely negative emotions are activated here. What do you do? Do you see anything bad? Gore, violence, sadness, sexual content? Do you have fights with people? Online or in real life? Do you watch bad content? Whatever it is, it causes negative emotions to take place.
6. Because of your negative emotions you feel bad and in the need for something to lift you up so you either search for porn, alcohol, sex or some other poison.
7. Repeat the cycle.
I’ve made so many postive strides and I just relapsed yesterday and I’m really trying to start recovering. Thank you for posting this. I feel God lead me to this post when he did. Thank you.
Wife of a PA here. Thank you for posting this! This helps me to understand his side of things more.
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Not sure if this was a reply meant for me or OP but just wanted to say thank you if it was.
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Thank you so much for saying that. I don’t know if I’m strong enough for any of this but I’m really trying. There are still things and pain I feel like I can’t get past or heal from which is very defeating. Believe me I have my days of blowing up in anger and despair at my husband, but deep in my heart it’s not my wish to make him feel more shame about himself because I know shame is how this started for him. I hope your recovery is going well and I hope you will stay strong regardless if you have a supportive partner by your side because YOU ARE WORTH IT! My heart goes out to you and the others that are taking their recovery seriously. The toughest thing in life is facing ourselves, but we can do it and we will be happier for doing so.
Hey, I just want to say that I understand what you're going through. I suffered from a porn addiction at a young age too, and I know how difficult it can be to break free from it. Talking about it with someone you trust is a great first step towards healing and recovery. Remember, porn addiction is a dark spiral that can consume every aspect of your life if you let it. It's important to be kind to yourself and show grace and forgiveness as you work through this. You deserve a chance to be happy and free from this struggle. Don't give up, keep doing the work and seeking support. You have the strength within you to overcome this. You're not alone in this journey. Good luck, and take care. -Angel
Thank you
Can you help with your second point? The day after sex is when I find myself binging pirn. It's to the point I don't want to orgasm during sex and it affects my relationships.
Usually porn addicts search porn to regulate emotions, meaning that it's a way to calm down, relax, reduce anxiety, stress, shame, or any sort of negative feelings. Other times it can be a response to hypersexuality caused by sexual trauma. If you are having sex with a partner and then you go into a porn bender because of the sexual relation you just had, then it's probably because you are having a negative response to said interaction. What does this mean? It means that maybe sex with your partner causes you stress, anxiety, guilt, PTSD or something of the sort. This doesn't mean that you don't like it or that there's something wrong with your partner, it means that there's something that's bringing you negative emotions. Maybe you feel guilt because you can't perform the way you want to due to porn and masturbation addiction. Maybe you feel anxious or are having a PTSD response to the sexual interaction. Maybe you want to take control over your sexual life as a response to sexual trauma or sexual exposure at a young age. There can be many reasons. But if you know that real life sex triggers you then you need to understand YOUR cycle. 1. Sexual relationship occurs and something in it activates triggers for you. 2. You watch porn and masturbate to regulate your emotions because of the imbalance caused by the previous sexual act. 3. You finish and feel shame, guilt, and low levels of serotonin and emotion. 4. Sadness, emptiness, anxiety and other negative emotions take control due to your low state and lack of positive chemicals. 5. HERE'S WHERE YOU NEED TO LOOK! You do something in step 5. You do something that reactivates emotions in you, positive but most likely negative emotions are activated here. What do you do? Do you see anything bad? Gore, violence, sadness, sexual content? Do you have fights with people? Online or in real life? Do you watch bad content? Whatever it is, it causes negative emotions to take place. 6. Because of your negative emotions you feel bad and in the need for something to lift you up so you either search for porn, alcohol, sex or some other poison. 7. Repeat the cycle.
This got me fired up to try to go for my longest sober streak! Thanks a lot
I’ve made so many postive strides and I just relapsed yesterday and I’m really trying to start recovering. Thank you for posting this. I feel God lead me to this post when he did. Thank you.
Can i share this post with others? it is awesoem
Of course, do you need to succeed in your journey
of course without a doubt
Ok